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Blog Update: Why This Blog Took a Long Break & Why It's Happening Again

28/10/2022

 
As regular readers & subscribers have noticed, two things happened with this blog:

  • The Feedburner subscription stopped working for real around 2 months ago.

In other words, subscribers will no longer receive new posts in their Inbox.

Long before this happened, a blog post went up warning of this, plus a notice sits in the sidebar.

I'm sorry for any inconvenience or "Huh?" that occurred from this (even though it's not my fault Google phased out Feedburner).

Having said that, I decided not to sign up for a new free subscription service. So anyone interested in new posts will need to come here to see them (which won't be often, as explained next).

  • I was mostly offline for around a month.

That's why this blog didn't get updated for so long.

What happened was this:

​I switched to Netfree's Limited Plan, which blocks access to ALL websites except those appearing on this page:
https://en.forum.netfree.link/

(For me, this page appears in Hebrew, but a friend outside of Eretz Yisrael said the page shows up in English for her.)

It happened suddenly in the middle of the night, when hit by the realization I simply must switch immediately.

It felt rude, like a host who invited everyone to an open-house, then suddenly disappeared without explanation.

I felt bad about the rudeness (and I apologize), but also realized I faced no other choice.

(It's hard to explain because, for some reason, I kept pushing off the switch in order to post an announcement on the blog, but kept pushing off that too, and then realized I needed to just DO it. Again, not sure myself how to explain what was happening.)

On Netfree's Limited Plan, I cannot even conduct a search on any search engine.

Also, Netfree "fines" users 20-25 shekels for switching to a more open plan.

(Though a small amount of money, it still acts as a wonderful deterrent.)

It also takes 2 hours for the switch to a more open plan to occur, so no instant "hit" or gratification—very wise.

And on the Limited Plan, I cannot access my own blog...nothing, other than the boring utilitarian sites seen at the above link.

This means that if you send me a link, I will not be able to access it (unless it is one of those boring websites featured in my plan, as appearing on the page in the above Netfree link).

(If they really want me to see an article, some people copy the text, paste it into an email, and send it to me instead of a link.)

So that's what happened.

I'm on a more open plan very temporarily for now, but am switching back to the Limited Plan pretty quickly.

Internet Ups & Downs

​Why did I do that?

And why am I doing it again?

First of all, I'd been having conflicts over my Internet use for ages.

It's too much to go into the whole history and back-and-forth...sometimes I had Internet, sometimes not at all, sometimes only email, plus I went through 3 different filters using their different plans, etc.

In short, this is personal and varies for each individual.

Each person needs to be honest with themselves about why they have Internet and why they have their particular plan/filter to access the Internet.

At one point, I switched from email-only to Internet for parnasa.

I didn't realize no respectable rabbinical heter actually existed for this in the way many people assumed.

​(Rav Itamar Schwartz explains this in detail here: https://question.bilvavi.net/blog/2021/08/24/the-gedolims-view-on-internet-use/)

For me, this loomed as a big mistake only realized later.

Upon honest analysis, the benefits and positive results do not outweigh the negative—at least, not for me.

Hashem showed me over the past year that even the reasons I initially thought I needed Internet were actually not so true...and at this point, they no longer held true at all.

(This made me sad and still pangs me in some ways, but the truth often hurts—at least in the beginning of a transition. Later, that same originally painful truth can paradoxically end up feeling great!)

A Significant & Unique Benefit to Living in Eretz Yisrael

I'm very lucky that in Eretz Yisrael, you really don't NEED the Internet. 

I think it's different in the USA and most other modern countries because it seems certain services simply cannot be accessed without an app or some kind of Internet connection.

Not 100% sure, but this is my impression.

Yet because of the burgeoning religious clout in Eretz Yisrael, most services offer a non-Internet option.

Is it as convenient?

No.

But it exists.

Heck, I even lived without my own cell phone for the past couple of years.

Because I live in a charedi community (where it's admittedly unusual to not have a cell phone at all, even the little dinky "dumbphones"), people still managed with me—and did so non-judgmentally—even though I seemed to be one of the only people with no cell phone at all.

(Recently I started working almost full-time at a charedi gender-segregated office, and it made sense to have one. So now I have a little dinky Internet-free text-free cell phone.)

Having said all that, I know some extremely & sincerely frum people who finally caved in to get a computer with email ONLY.

Charedi communities also host Internet centers using a Netfree filter, so a person in real need of an Internet connection can use those.

I personally won't be doing that because it ends up being too stressful, (I find the need for passwords extremely aggravating for some reason—also at work!), the sometimes lack of privacy & being around other people when I'm an introvert at heart, going so much out of my way to get to the place (even though 2 Internet centers are within walking distance!)...

...and when I tried to access my own blog to post articles at one of these places, I could not access it for some reason—which likely has a solution because I knew of another Weebly-user who posted regularly from an Internet center to her blog—but it's too much aggravation for my kind of personality & in the phase I'm in now.

​And that's the gist of it.

The Surprising & Liberating Result of Severe Internet Limitation

Initially, I expected to feel very bored without any real Internet access.

I thought I'd suffer some kind of withdrawal.

After all, when I switched to Netfree in the beginning, there were certain sites I secretly longed for over several months.

After all, the only websites available on the Netfee's Limited Plan are ones like "The Municipality of Ashkelon" or "Bank Hapoalim" or "Train Schedules" or "Gmail."

In other words, only utilitarian sites remain available.

For example, no temptation exists to go surfing through the Discount Bank website with its pages of Hebrew text.

Sure, I could spend a lot of time in my Gmail account, but am not compelled to...so I don't.

To my surprise, I did experience only a couple of phases of boredom, but remedied them by doing something in the house that needed to be done, or running an errand, or reading a good book I hadn't read in a while.

In general, I felt much better too.

Even more oddly, I stopped pining for that tiny handful of sites I'd really enjoyed before Netfree.

Why did cutting out the Internet so drastically eliminate my longings when limiting it moderately did not?

I'm baffled.

Anyway, I also started going to sleep earlier, getting more things done both in the house and out (despite an actual decrease in time due to a new work schedule), and in general felt happier.

Also, I fully expected to miss the sites I visited the most...yet didn't.

Now that I've been back online for a week, I see why it's so bad for me. 

The War for Your Brain

Self-discipline is not the problem here.

The Internet (and its tentacles of social media, apps, etc.) are built & fine-tuned to suck you in by your brain chemistry (to funnel money & control to their greedy creators).

​I've written here before about our brains being under attack. We're wired a certain way and the creators of these technologies know all about it.

For example, please see these posts on the topic:
  • www.myrtlerising.com/blog/why-this-generation-is-so-astounding
(Scroll down to "Your Brain under Attack" within the post.)
  • www.myrtlerising.com/blog/did-you-get-your-normal-dosage-of-awe-anxiety-and-anger-today
  • www.myrtlerising.com/blog/standing-for-nothing-usa
  • www.myrtlerising.com/blog/what-i-learned-about-taming-my-email-habits
  • how-to-avoid-being-a-victim-of-mind-control.html

I know people who boast of being perfectly self-disciplined about their Internet use, but I see they are not. They simply adjust their standards to fit their self-serving principles and definitions.

Not purposely, but instinctively. They're honestly not aware of what they're doing.

Again, we're all on different levels and different stages of our journeys.

This is where I'm personally holding.

​I wish I could get down to having just email, but I'm not ready for that.

A Short Note before Saying Good-Bye Again

Initially, I planned this week to finish up any half-finished or three-fourths-finished posts hanging around, and to post a couple of new ones rolling around in my head.

But I didn't! I just re-posted an old post and created another mostly from copy 'n' paste...and that was it.

Even this post, which I meant to write immediately, only got done now!

I just couldn't do it. Not sure why.

So I'm going back to the Limited Plan.

In other words, this website will remain online, but I'm not actually here.

In the meantime, if I manage it, I will write posts in Word, and then switch plans again to access this blog, post a series of scheduled posts, then go back to the Limited Plan again.

​I don't think that's a perfect solution, but it's honestly where I'm holding now.

Someone brilliantly suggested sending out posts by email subscription and avoiding the blog entirely.

That's actually a real good alternative, but I'm hesitant about encountering the same response I had before to some who subscribers who felt the need to immediately respond in a way I found challenging whenever triggered by a post. 

(And they could go off-topic or misunderstand the whole meaning of the post in their triggered state. Not bad people at all, but just people who didn't realize what they were doing, by misunderstanding, getting triggered, then responding in that emotional state and lack of understanding.)

This happened davka with those who received the post directly to their Inbox as opposed to reading it on the blog. Most people did not respond that way, but some did.

It seems something about receiving it as an email created that dynamic.

So maybe I will do that, but not sure yet.

​Thanks for reading.
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These are questions asked by Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto in his masterpiece: Da'at Tevunot.

A True Story of How Taking a Small Step in the Right Direction regarding Internet Filters Brought about a Yeshuah

24/10/2022

 
The following is a verified true story (courtesy of the Doeihu organization) that happened this month:
Rosh Hashana 5783

This story was told by R’ Yosef Panet Shlit’a, Rav of Beis Medrash Meor Hatefilla in Boro Park, on Shabbos Shuva.

This story happened to a mispalel in his shul on this past Rosh Hashana 5783 [September 26-27, 2022].

​The Doeihu staff reached out to Rav Panet to get a firsthand account of this powerful story.

Following is what Rav Panet shared:


Rosh Hashana night after Maariv, everyone filed past to give and get a l'shana tova.

In the crowd before me was also R’ Yankel (*not real name). After I wished him a l'shana tova, he looked at me with pain-filled eyes and asked me to give him a bracha for parnassa tova [a good livelihood] as well.


I know R’ Yankel who is part of my kehilla for many years. He has a few successful businesses, and to top it off he has a large Amazon selling business.

I knew that in the past he was doing very well, but from his tone and expression I realized that something was going on.

He doesn’t usually ask for such a bracha, and especially not in such a manner.


I watched during the Rosh Hashana davening the next day he wrapped himself deep in his tallis and davened with unusual kavana as if oblivious to the world.

Noticing his pain and worry, I decided to approach him right after Rosh Hashana and ask him if he needs any financial help for yom tov, or if there is anything else I can do.


Before I even opened up the conversation, R’ Yankel told me that he wants to share a personal story.

He said,


“The Rav knows that I have a large Amazon account from which I make a nice parnassa. A few weeks ago I got an email from Amazon informing me that due to suspicious activity on my account they were not going to give me access to the money from any transactions on my account. In other words, I could continue selling without earning. Whoever is in this line knows that if Amazon shuts you down, trying to get them to reopen your account is like talking to a brick wall.

"I had a huge bill from all the merchandise that I had bought for the coming season, which I started to pay off with my side businesses. But while sales were continuing on going, money was not coming in, aside from the fact that Yom Tov bills were piling up. I was in a huge dilemma.

"Finally, I managed to get a zoom conference meeting with Amazon for the Monday before Rosh Hashana. The meeting showed me what I was up against. They drove me crazy about minor details, asked to see very many documents and proof, and nitpicked wherever they could. They were not here to help me out at all. I thought that, after all the documents I showed and the questions I answered, that I had proved my innocence and proof of identity, but they felt otherwise.

"They decided that they can only open access to the money in my account if I send them every invoice from every transaction I ever made on Amazon from day 1. After that, I met with a major Amazon consultant in this field to see what steps I could take to save my account. He explained that usually when they nitpick on every invoice, they are not satisfied with what they get. Apparently, what they want to see and the way that our community does business doesn’t mix well. He told me to send what I have and hope for the best. From his tone of voice, it didn’t sound like he expected good results.

[Note: The "way our community does business" means we aren't available on Shabbat or chagim to deal with business issues & orders. I've heard before that Amazon penalizes anyone who isn't available to deal with issues within 24 hours, and a lot of shomer Shabbat sellers struggle with this. This goes back to how the Internet hates boundaries: hi-tech-hates-boundaries.html — MR]


"I was watching my whole business come crashing down. I was shipping out goods and not getting back any money for a few weeks now. To continue this way would bring me to bankruptcy. I decided that I would first do my best to daven for a good new year on Rosh Hashana and send in my documents only after making that hishtadlus.

"Now the Rav knows what was behind my request Rosh Hashana night. With all I was going through, I was barely holding myself enough together to make a seudah. ”

R’ Yankel continued,

“Rosh Hashana morning it happens to be that I daven Musaf in a different shul. Before tekias shofar, the Rav got up and gave over some divrei hisorerus [words to ignite spiritual arousal]. Particularly, he spoke passionately about technology and the importance of filters. He ended by encouraging everyone to make a kabbalah in the area of technology at whatever level they are on. I was very inspired, knowing what I was up against and the yeshuah that I needed, and I made my kabala right then and there to install a filter on all my internet devices, and as well to fully block Instagram 
(*see Editor’s note below)  with the hope that this would bring a yeshua to my business.

"Yom Tov passed in a daze of fervent tefillos. I davened harder than ever before in my life. And then came Motzei Yom Tov, terrified about what I am about to go through.

"An email from Amazon was waiting in my inbox…. I opened it with trepidation to find good news! It said that my account had been cleared and they were going to forward my money very soon. The email had been sent the first day Rosh Hashana at 1:07 PM. Exactly the time that I made my kabala before tekias shofar!”

Rav Panet concludes,

“The story is not yet over! One day later, R’ Yankel went to Tag to fulfill his kabala and he got a call as he was sitting in the Tag office. It was a buyer who he was after for a while and never was able to get him to buy from him, but today the buyer reached out to him, and wanted to place a huge order. It was clear to R’ Yankel that the immediate turnaround in his company came about as a result of his kabala in technology.”

* * *

 
According to halacha and the ruling of all Gedolei Yisroel a filter on a computer is a necessity.

Therefore, even if one does not need a particular yeshua one must put on a filter.

However, when people hear such stories it’s like a wink from heaven, a sign from Hashem that this is the right thing to do.

​These stories give people chizuk to overcome what gedolim are saying is the challenge of our generation. 
וממנו ילמדו וכן יעשו.
 
(*A note from the editor: Instagram itself cannot be filtered, therefore having it open is considered having unfiltered internet. And, as mentioned many times, one "must" put a filter on all internet devices, which means that keeping the Instagram app (site) etc. regularly open is assur - because it is open, unfiltered internet (and leads directly to immodesty).

First of all, thank you so much to NEJ for sending me Doeihu emails, including this one.

In addition to providing clear halachot for behavior in the office and other places, Doeihu also provides stories like the above, true stories about regular frum people and their struggles in the work place.

They don't always show huge results like the above.

Sometimes, it's baby steps, like following the correct halacha when it's mildly uncomfortable, yet obligatory.

Many times, there is no fantastic ending (i.e., "And then I found a shidduch, managed to buy a luxury home, got super rich, and finally had a baby!")...but simply the basic satisfaction of doing things right.

This daily interesting and extremely practical newsletter is available in English, Yiddish, or Lashon HaKodesh.
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Please note I get nothing for promoting Doeihu and they don't even know I'm promoting them. I've just really benefitted from their material and believe others will too.

Fascinating Links to Enrich the Understanding of Parshat Noach

23/10/2022

 
The stories told within Parshat Noach remain popular worldwide throughout generations.

Echoes of this fundamental transformation of the world reverberate through the ancient mythologies of every culture.

Delving into Parshat Noach via the authentic Torah commentaries reveals layer after layer of fascinating lessons & anthropological revelations.

Here are past links to enrich one's understanding of Parshat Noach:

From the 1730 Ladino masterpiece on the Torah Me'am Lo'ez:
  • the-7-universal-noachide-commandments-according-to-the-meam-loez.html​
  • what-noach-teaches-us-about-the-power-of-true-teshuvah.html
  • the-nations-established-by-the-sons-of-noach-where-are-they-now.html
  • the-meam-loez-on-the-descendants-of-the-sons-of-noach.html
  • the-generation-of-the-flood-has-reincarnated-into-our-generation-heres-the-evidence-also-what-you-can-do-to-protect-yourself-others.html
  • communications-from-stars-or-angels-in-todays-ufo-cults-nothing-new-the-generation-of-the-flood-did-that-too.html

From the 1602 Torah commentary Kli Yakar:
  • the-kli-yakar-parshat-noach.html
  • the-kli-yakar-on-parshas-noach-why-did-hashem-destroy-the-world-with-water-and-what-is-the-connection-to-hurricanes.html
  • the-hidden-sin-of-the-flood-generation-what-we-can-learn-from-it-today-aka-the-kli-yakar-on-parshat-noach.html

From the 19-Century Torah commentary of the Malbim:
  • the-malbim-on-parshat-noach.html

General:
  • The Invasion of 3 Ancient Generations: How to Explain the Current Chaos & Corruption of the Modern World​
  • some-torah-insights-guidance-for-the-path-of-bnei-noach.html

​About the phoenix on Noah's Ark & Its Real Story:
  • discover-the-torah-truth-of-the-phoenix-bird-stripped-from-its-mythology-what-is-the-real-story-authentic-spiritual-meaning-and-jewish-symbolism-of-the-phoenix.html​
  • 2-ways-to-understand-how-noach-spoke-with-the-dove-the-raven-and-the-phoenix.html
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Inspirational Quote from Rebbe Yisroel Yitzchak Kalish of Vorka

14/9/2022

 
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Inspirational Quote from Bilvavi

13/9/2022

 
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https://bilvavi.net/english/be-yourself-0

Here are Rav Itamar Schwartz's words in full (copied from the above link):
Droshos - Be Yourself

 (This class was delivered in a Beit Midrash called "Od Yosef Chai [Yosef is still alive]," and so, the talk is centered on this section in the Torah.)

How is it that the Torah writes Yehudah's words to the viceroy of Egypt (Bereshit 44:20) that Yosef was dead?

In fact, it was untrue, so it should not be written in the Torah.

The answer is that in depth, there was a kind of death.

Yosef's whole essence was kavod (honor). When he was born, Rachel named him Yosef, because "Hashem gathered in (asaf) my shame."

The opposite of shame is honor, so Yosef's essence was honor. Likewise, he was the conduit for the Torah of Yaakov, and by revealing that Torah, he caused Yaakov's honor to be manifest. When he was sold as a slave, his personal honor and that of his father were no more, and thus, his essence disappeared, so he was as if dead.

When he became viceroy in Egypt, he was again in a position of honor, and then, indeed, "Yosef is still alive."

As long as Yosef was alive, the kavod of Yaakov was manifest.

After he died, the kavod disappeared, and the enslavement of Israel began.

As long as we had kavod, there could be no galut (exile). The removal of kavod is identical with galut.

Geulah (redemption), though, is more than just a return of kavod, and Yosef also symbolizes the higher level of gathering in and transcending the concept of honor.

To illustrate, to shame a person is tantamount to murder, because the soul is equated with honor (Tehillim 30:13).

But if a person's essence is really only honor, a disgraced person should die, because his soul, his kavod, disappears.

Rather, a person is more than his kavod. The inner essence is even deeper than kavod. Kavod is deep, but it is not the deepest essence of a person.

Kavod only relates to others, but does not exist at all when one is alone.

When a person lives only with kavod, he is only focused on the relationship with others.

Yet one must focus on his own essence.

We don't only mean that one should not do things for the sake of honor.

Kavod means to be focused on the outside, and the inner life requires one not to focus on outside entities.

The gemara states that rebbi did not look outside of his four amot (cubits).

The depth of this is that he did not look beyond his own place, his own existence.

Looking outward means that one leaves his own personal world.

Each person is unique, with his own world.

When a person envies another, even another person's positive qualities, he is looking outside of his own world if he only wants the qualities because he sees them elsewhere.

The proper way is to attain a level because of a personal awareness of the value of the level.

You might see people acting a certain way, or read about it in a book.

But you should attain your own recognition.

The gemara states that if not that the Torah were given, we would have learned alacrity from the ant. But where does the Torah teach us the quality of alacrity?

The answer is that we now have an inner light with which to learn such values naturally.

The Rambam (De'ot 6:1) writes that one must live in the desert.

You can live with other people and yet be as in a desert.

One can live on his own, without copying anyone else.

The true life is when you build your own way of life with your own personal understanding.

This is the depth of "Yosef is still alive" even now.

When he died, in other words, when his level of honor disappears, the kavod is gone, but this new level is higher than kavod.

On this level, one lives based on his own awareness.

The influences in this world are very strong.

The values are all wrong and our thinking can become distorted.

The proper way is to discover the truth on your own.

Then you will receive your own life from your own neshamah.

​Then you will merit being like Adam before the sin. He had no one to emulate other than Hashem.

The Geulah will come when we don't copy others, but live from our own discovered truth.

A Quote to Help Put Things in Perspective

11/9/2022

 
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Motivational Quote from Bilvavi

6/9/2022

 
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The Judean Hills/Harei Yehudah in Eretz Yisrael
"The Geulah will come when we don't copy others,
but live from our own discovered truth."
Quote from here:
bilvavi.net/english/be-yourself-0

An Effective & Interesting Teshuvah Exercise with 4 Main Questions from Rebbetzin Tziporah (Heller) Gottleib

2/9/2022

 
From the Na'aleh newsletter for Parshat Re'eh, Rebbetzin Tziporah (Heller) Gottleib provides down-to-earth insight and targeted questions to help us get where we need to go (subheadings my own addition for easier reading):
What Elul Gives Us That Other Months Don't

In Elul, every step you take towards Hashem is rewarded with a certain level of Divine Providence not normally found during the rest of the year.

There’s a direct response where we can feel Hashem allowing Himself to come into our life. 


There are different ways to draw close.

Part I of the Teshuvah Process

To begin the process, make a history of your life:

– Break it down to segments, such as early childhood, later childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and middle age.

​– Focus on the smaller units of time where the critical stages in your development took place.

– Set aside a half hour or an
hour to ask yourself,
“What were the important events that took place in my life at this time?”

Don’t intercept with judgment calls because then your narrative will become self -centered and less honest.

If you do this year by year, a sense of what is and isn’t important will emerge.


Part II of the Process

The next question should be,
– “How did I respond to these events?”

– Visualize yourself experiencing it all over again.

– Then ask,
(1) “Did my responses get me closer to where I wanted to be or did it take me further away?"
(2) "What was I thinking when I made these choices?"
(3) "Why did I make that choice?”

– Try to find patterns in both your good and bad decisions.

Sometimes your good deeds may have been prompted by the need to escape or for idealistic motives. Your slip-ups may have been caused by desire for social acceptance, or fear or ignorance.

You may discover that your good side was driven by the desire to be part of something larger than yourself, or in order to know the truth, or to ease your conscience. 


"Middot are neither good or bad, It’s what you make up of them"

All this self- introspection is meant to lead you to your middot.

Middot are neither good or bad, It’s what you make up of them.

The Gra teaches that life is about perfecting ones middot.

“Tzadik v’ra lo” refers to someone with difficult middot.

When he succeeds in conquering or turning around his bad middot for the good, he becomes a tzaddik.


In Elul, every step you take towards Hashem is rewarded with a certain level of Divine Providence not normally found during the rest of the year.

There’s a direct response where we can feel Hashem allowing Himself to come into our life. 

Just to sum up, here are the prime questions to ask as you examine your life:

  1. ​What were the important events that took place in my life at this time?​
  2. Did my responses get me closer to where I wanted to be or did they take me further away?
  3. What was I thinking when I made these choices?
  4. Why did I make that choice?

And when she advises not to be judgmental when deciding which events were important in your life at that time, I think it means you need to be honest about what you truly found important, and not what others consider important.

For example, the twin sisters born to your family when you were 5 will be considered an important event by others, but maybe you experienced it as happening around you in a vague fog.

Instead, perhaps the new shoes you received around that time seem much more important to you; you still retain memories of the shoes' details and how they made you feel. 

​So don't judge the importance according to anyone's standards except your own.
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Crosswalk Feminism

1/9/2022

0 Comments

 
Growing up as girl in the Eighties, the surrounding culture beat into our heads the idea that we could behave and dress however we wanted.

Any negative consequences were never considered the results of our behavior (though in private people understood otherwise).

Outside of learning self-defense techniques, martial arts, or carrying a gun, there was nothing we could do to protect ourselves — nor did we need to, we were told.

We had THE RIGHT.

Yes, The Right to do whatever we wanted & go wherever we wanted & behave however we wanted...regardless of consequences.

Not matter how much survival instinct and just plain common sense says otherwise, this was & continues to be the message to girls.

But no one ever applies this kind of recklessness to any other situation.

For example, driving with situational awareness through a safari during the day in a sturdy car is okay.

It still involves some risk, yet many people do it with no negative consequences.

But strolling through a safari on foot at night when predatory animals are awake and on the prowl?

​Not okay.

Hello, good ol' common sense (with regard to 4-legged predators).

And good-bye, common sense (with regard to 2-legged predators).

(And yes, college campuses are rife with 2-legged predatory "animals" cruising the bars in search of drunk young females on their own. If you speak with those who answer the calls on college crises hotlines, you'll discover this is THE most common situation in which college females are violated.)

Your Right to Cross at the Crosswalk However & Whenever You Want?

​Let’s look at another example:
​
  • Do you as a pedestrian have a right to cross at a crosswalk?
 
  • Do all vehicles—trucks, motorcycles, cars (from beat-up rust cans to luxury limos), buses—have the obligation to stop at the crosswalk and allow you to cross? 
 
  • Do you have the right to cross on a crosswalk at night?
   
  • If of age, do have the right to cross the street after imbibing a few martinis?
 
  • Do you have the right to clothe yourself completely in black and cross the crosswalk at night?

  • And aren't all motor vehicles required by law & cultural courtesy to stop & allow you to cross at a crosswalk?

The answer to all the above, of course, is YES.

However, if you say: “I have the RIGHT to cover myself head to toe in black and cross on a crosswalk at night WITHOUT making sure drivers can actually see me AND WITHOUT checking for oncoming cars will stop...because crossing a crosswalk dressed however I want and at whatever moment I want is my RIGHT as a pedestrian” — then such an attitude could easily cause injury or death to the crossing pedestrian.

Why?

First of all, cars can’t see you.

And most drivers WANT to see you. They don’t want to hit you.

Second of all, there are dysfunctional drivers.

There are drivers who are tired or stressed or distracted. There are reckless drivers who speed and don’t check for pedestrians at crosswalks.

There are people driving while drunk or high.

Regardless of your right as a pedestrian, common sense and the instinct for self-preservation tells you before crossing at a crosswalk, you must make sure that any oncoming cars are going to stop.

For normal drivers, making sure you’re seen is enough. The moment they see you, they slow down and stop.

But for dysfunctional drivers, you need more caution.

Because you don’t know the drivers of the vehicles, you need to size up the situation before crossing the street.
 
Is the car speeding? Is it driving erratically? Is it slowing? Does it seem like the driver can see you? Is the driver paying attention?

If you want to cross while wearing all black at night, you need to take even more precautions, like wearing or holding something reflective or making double-sure there are no oncoming cars.

And because drinking alcohol impairs you judgement, you need to pay extra attention (even ask for help) — even if you’re dressed in all-white and crossing in daylight.

Why?

Because the DRIVERS aren't reliable.

If you're really drunk, maybe you shouldn't cross the street at all.

Or maybe you should find a friend to walk or drive you home.

Things You'll Never Hear People Say...Except to Girls & Women to Deny Them the Basic Right to Self-Preservation

​Regarding crossing streets, no one says stupid things like:
​
  • “Telling pedestrians to wear night-visible clothing is blaming the victim.”
 
  • “Telling pedestrians to take extra precautions when wearing all-black at night is essentially blaming the pedestrians who got hit wearing all-black at night.”
 
  • “Pedestrians don’t need to take extra precautions—DRIVERS should just STAY HOME AT NIGHT! If people would stop driving at night, pedestrians would never get hurt.”
 
  • "Sure, a lot of car accidents derive from drunk driving. But saying that, despite the driver’s clear guilt, the accident still could've been avoided had the pedestrian taken self-protective measures (like not drinking, which caused them to stumble into the crosswalk without looking first) —well, that shows you simply hate pedestrians and are a "mispedestrianist."
 
  • “I don’t care whether it saves lives to warn pedestrians against crossing the street at night while drunk & dressed completely in black — you’re a pedestrian-hater for saying that. I mean, sheesh. This is why we FINALLY need a pedestrian for President! Only a pedestrian can be pro-pedestrians.”
 
  • “Pedestrians have the RIGHT to cross at crosswalks WHENEVER they want, wearing WHATEVER they want, and at WHATEVER level of inebriation they want. I don’t CARE about the possibility of people driving while drunk, reckless, tired, or distracted. DRIVERS need to be careful, not pedestrians. We need to educate drivers to never get drunk, distracted, tired, or reckless. And until we achieve that, pedestrians should be allowed to behave however they want on sidewalks, crosswalks, and pedestrian lanes.”
 
  • “Listen, drunk or reckless drivers also hit people wearing bright clothing in full daylight AND walking on the sidewalk! I mean, I once knew someone who wasn't anywhere NEAR a street — and she still got hit by a car. That means bad drivers are everywhere, so there's no point in taking precautions when crossing a street because people also get hit on by cars when not crossing streets.”
 
  • “You're a pedestrian who insists on precautionary measures when faced with crossing a street? Well, you’re clearly not a modern pedestrian. Today’s pedestrians know better. Pedestrians are more liberated now. It’s the DRIVERS who need to change. It sounds like you’re suffering from low self-esteem. Maybe you should look into therapy and learn to respect yourself as a pedestrian.”

Right?

We all recognize that, while a drunk or reckless driver is COMPLETELY at fault, it is in the pedestrians best interest (and SELF-interest) to take all precautions necessary BECAUSE of the risk of drunk, reckless, distracted, or tired drivers.

Note: It should be acknowledged the above isn’t the perfect parallel because most drivers don’t mean to hit pedestrians, yet men who violate women generally mean to do it. But the mashal of how a person needs to protect herself — even when it’s her “right” to do as she pleases — still holds true.

For example, even in the case of predatory animals actively looking for prey, the same precautions apply to a woman who wants to walk through a safari at night or to a woman walking down a street roamed by wild dogs. She simply should not do it. And if she finds herself in such a situation, she certainly should not go there drunk!

Let's Encourage All Females to Conduct Themselves with the Same Self-Preserving Sensibility of Crossing a Street

Since its inception, feminism worked toward the dumbing-down of women and girls.

It’s true that women today are more intellectual and sophisticated than ever before.

But they aren’t as savvy.

(I'm serious. Talk to simple women from non-Western cultures where women had few rights. They're much savvier, possess much more common sense.)

Before the Seventies, women tended to handle situations with so much more common sense and wisdom.

And now, you can talk to a woman with, for example, a doctorate in calculus, and she can turn out to me one of the dumbest, most illogical people you have ever talked to.

(No, not always. And a lot of intellectual men are stupid twits, too. University professors in particular lack common sense. But this post focuses on the influence of the feminist movement on women, not men.)

And unfortunately, there will always be bad and/or drunk men until Mashiach comes.

And yes, it’s their fault if they hurt any female through their badness and drunkenness.

And yes, they should be punished.

But throwing young women into their path and brainwashing young woman against protecting themselves against such animals is outright cruel and heartless.

Related post:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/two-powerful-lessons-revealed-by-dinahs-ordeal-in-parshat-vayishlach
​
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Link to a Great Interview with a Frum Author

31/8/2022

 
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Here's a link to a short yet interesting interview with talented frum author Ben Ackerman of Open When You Are:
https://newbooksnetwork.com/open-when-you-are

To read this blog's review of the book, please click this link, then scroll down:
http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/a-garden-of-book-reviews

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

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    I'm a middle-aged housewife and mother in Eretz Yisrael who likes to read and write a lot.


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