In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah Parshat Vayishlach: The Disturbed Wicked, we see that Esav is running away.

That's funny, because initially, it was Yaakov Avinu who needed to run for his life.

And Yaakov really needed to. But Esav did not need to. No one was pursuing him.

The Midrash quotes Mishlei 28:1, that an evil person flees even when there is no one in pursuit.

Esav meets up with Yaakov Avinu, his twin brother who has merited success beyond Esav's wildest dreams.

Even though Yaakov met him with great diplomacy and insight, which mollified Esav to some extent, Esav still came away from their meeting suffering confusion and resentment.

Rav Miller points out that Esav was a Jew. (This is when you could still opt out of Judaism.) He had a brit milah, he'd been taught Jewish values by the greatest people on Earth. He could've stayed with the family, despite the firstborn rights being taken from him.

The Shechinah rested on this family. It was a tremendous & holy family. Yes, Esav could no longer have been the leader of this family, but isn't being an important part of such a family, of such Nation-building, enough?

Had Esav remained, his descendants could have stood at Har Sinai to receive the Torah, says Rav Miller. Tannaim and other great Sages could have descended from Esav.

Esav would have had a part in the inheritance of Eretz Yisrael.

​But he left everything behind.

No one chased him away.

But he still left.

Rav Miller explained that Esav capitulated to one of the strongest yetzer haras: the yetzer hara of getting flustered, of losing your equilibrium...and running away.

On pages 7-8, Rav Miller explains the various letter combinations of the word rasha  (רשע) and how it all points to the agitation that bad people often feel. They don't enjoy yishuv hadaat, they don't enjoy menuchat hanefesh, or any of the other positive mental & emotional states that come from emuna & bitachon.

Esav could've chosen the path of Aharon HaCohen, who generously allowed his younger brother, Moshe Rabbeinu, to take the lead. If that's what Hashem wanted, then that's what Aharon HaCohen wanted too.

​What was good enough for God was good enough for him too.

Rav Miller quotes the Chovot Halevavot (Duties of the Heart), which states that if you want to be a truly good person, if you want to be a real eved Hashem, then you must develop peace of mind.

On page 9, we glean some solid life advice from Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 10:4:

If you're suddenly thrown into confusion, don't do anything; just stay where you are.

Don't upset your equilibrium any more than it has already.

Keep on going with your life.

Continue to get up in the morning and daven, go to work or yeshivah or prepare breakfast or all the good things you normally do as part of your routine and your responsibilities.

Keep on observing Torah & mitzvot.

Don't let go.

Eventually, the upset will pass – and YOU will remain.

On page 10, Rav Miller relates the true story of someone who lost his equilibrium in an understandably difficult situation, and as a result, lost his wife & children too.

Rav Miller notes that at various steps along the way, the person could've traced his steps back with no harm (or very little harm) done.

But this person didn't and so he lost out.

Rav Miller uses this to emphasize that even if you do leave your place, so to speak, don't be too embarrassed to come back. 

In other words, don't stay down for the count. Get back up again.

Again, Rav Miller quotes Kohelet (7:17): "Don't be a big rasha."

Even being a little rasha is certainly forbidden; even small sins are wrong.

But don't let your small sins upset your equilibrium so much that you throw caution to the winds, decide that nothing matters anymore, and become a big rasha.

Rav Miller encourages us that if we read the right books, listen to the right lectures, and work on ourselves enough, we can train ourselves to respond to life with menuchat hanefesh, with an unruffled soul.

On page 13, he tells us how we should generally handle bigoted bums, and reminds us of the infamous story of the young Jewish counselor who responded boldly to a couple of Jew-haters...who then proceeded to beat in his skull, yet got off with just a slap on the hand.

There, Rav Miller always tells of the time he was blocked by 4 weasels on the sidewalk. He also tells how women can protect themselves too.

Then he gives the example of how a man coming home should be prepared for anything, even a pail of bilge water dumped onto his head (so to speak).

At first, the man can only hold a pleasant countenance for 5 minutes before he gets caught up in the stress of the situation.

But he starts with 5 minutes and eventually, those 5 minutes expand into 5 hours.

(With working women nowadays, this could apply to them too. But as far as I know, working women do not come home expecting a warm welcome and things being done for them, like a warm dinner waiting and a clean home – unless of course, she is paying a nanny and a housekeeper and a cook to do these things for her. But how many are doing that? Hardly anyone.)

Rav Miller also gives the example of a woman who, upon meeting up with her husband at home, can mentally decide to give her husband some quiet. Maybe she wants to chat or complain or attack, but instead she restrains herself and gives him that quiet space. Maybe she can even empathize with him in her mind.

Rav Miller states that when people (either the husband or wife or both) do the above, "they are planting the seeds of perfection in their soul."

It may not feel like that, especially at first, when you might just be feeling repressed and seething inside with a fake outside.

But really, regardless of how it feels, you really are planting the seeds of perfection in your soul.

Apparently, Shlomo Hamelech requested a golden ring he could look at whenever he got flustered or upset. Someone created such a ring for him with the letters ג ז י – Gam Zeh Ya'avor, This Too Shall Pass.

(The gold itself will eventually pass on too. As they say, you can't take it with you.)

Someone made such a ring for Rav Miller and he always kept it.

My youngest sister-in-law always says with a laugh, "Everything passes. Whether it's good or bad, it all passes!"

I love this idea.

It means that when things are good, you should really appreciate those times because they'll pass.

​But take comfort in the bad times – because those too will pass!

​(Now I want to get myself a ring like that...)

On pages 17-18, Rav Miller discusses the difference between healthy fear and unhealthy fear.

​

In the post, Advice from the RaMCHaL, Rav Itamar Schwartz quotes a passage from Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto's Derech Eitz Chaim (The Way of the Tree of Life) regarding hitbodedut.

The Ramchal was born in Padua, Italy in 1707 and passed away in Akko, Eretz Yisrael in 1746.

And in his book, Derech Eitz Chaim, the Ramchal advised investing 1 hour every day in hitbodedut, contemplating the following questions:

• Who am I?
• Why did I come into this world?
• What does Hashem want from me?
• What will be with my end?
• What did Avoteinu (Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov) do that made them so desirable to Hashem?
• What did Moshe Rabbeinu do?
• What did David Hamelech do?
• What did all the great leaders before me do?

So those are some things to talk about (or at least ponder in your mind) if you get stuck.

The Ramchal stated that the most important tool to maximize our potential & our connection to Hashem is taking the time for self-introspection.

Cheshbon hanefesh is a crucial component of this, so Rav Schwartz recommends discussing the following questions with Hashem:

• On Rosh Hashanah, I made a resolution to do X. At the peak of the Yomim Tovim I also reached a certain spiritual level.
• Have I succeeded in keeping my resolutions and maintaining an elevated level compared to last year?
• If not, what can I do to make sure I maintain this level and keep my resolutions?

Rav Schwartz acknowledges that while our Sages advised performing an accounting of ourselves every night, many people cannot manage this. So, in the spirit of many other rabbanim who recommend baby steps, Rav Schwartz suggests performing a chesbon hanefesh every 7-10 days.

This is a million times better than not doing it at all, or only doing it every couple of months. (And even doing it every couple of months can still reap you tremendous benefit. Remember: There are people who NEVER do a real cheshbon hanefesh in their entire life.) 

There is a common phenomenon that strikes most baalei teshuvah 10-15 (maybe even 20?) years after they become frum, but hardly anyone knows about it until it happens to them.

All of the sudden, they'll become consumed with the desire to do something they'd left behind, something they completely rejected and even forgotten about...until it suddenly hits them again with a vengeance.

It's like you're innocently strolling down the street in a good neighborhood, and all of the sudden you're ambushed by a lunging mugger, chas v'shalom.

I've heard people express all different desires, like yearning to hear old pop music, to smoke illicit substances, watch certain TV programs, go out to the dance club at night, and so on.

So I had this thing where I desperately wanted to go to a movie theater.

(I know. It's so embarrassing, isn't it? What a stupid inane thing.)

Initially, I stopped going to movie theaters without any inner struggle. I simply didn't want to.

I stopped watching movies and did not miss movie theaters or TV.

Then around 15 years later, I suddenly found myself yearning for the experience of picking out my favorite seat, and sitting there with a ginormous bucket of buttery popcorn and root beer, and then that sensation of anticipation when the lights go dim and the ginormous screen comes to life.

And I spent an embarrassing amount of time fantasizing about this. You know, like planning to go to one of those cheap-o sheitel gemachs and get a very realistic-looking sheitel and get clothes that secular people would wear, but that still cover everything that needs to be covered, and so on.

But fortunately, I never did it.

The question is why?

Because I'm sooooo pious and pumped with gevurah!

(No, just kidding. Gosh, I wish that had been the reason. But that wasn't the reason, unfortunately.)

The obstacle was really one of convenience.

First of all, I was living in Eretz Yisrael when this hankering hit me.

If you've ever been to movie theaters in Eretz Yisrael (may they all turn into batei midrash), then you know you must endure the distasteful experience of assigned seating. In a movie theater. 

That right there ruins the entire experience.

That's right: When you go to pay for your tickets, you get tickets with seat numbers on them, just like on an airplane.

So before you even get inside the theater, your delicious experience is already marred by the tension of possibly receiving seats in a location that might at least somewhat diminish your enjoyment for the next 90 minutes.

(I know, I know. This is such an American problem, isn't it? "Slightly diminished pleasure for 90 minutes? – Aack! Help! SOS! I must have the full pleasure-experience or else I feel severely deprived! Aack!")

​The next problem is that Israeli movie theaters impose a forced intermission precisely at the mid-point mark. So for a 90-minute movie, everything suddenly disappears and the lights go on at exactly the 45-minute mark, regardless of what's happening on screen.

Seriously.

Who needs intermission after only 45 minutes? In America, if you need to replenish candy bars at any point in the movie, you do it on your own time & cheshbon.

Enforced intermission totally ruins the movie-going experience.

For example, way back in my first year in Eretz Yisrael as a 19-year-old going on 20, I remember watching Last of the Mohicans in a movie theater, and just as the Mohican was straddling the white guy with a mighty rock raised in the Mohican's hands about to come smashing down on the white guy's head, the screen faded and the lights went on.

Intermission!

So the diminished pleasure of the Israeli movie-going experience combined with the difficulty of indulging myself without causing a chilul Hashem or being discovered, plus the fact that if you are a remotely decent person, there are no truly enjoyable movies to enjoy anyway...all that combined stopped me from doing it.

Baruch Hashem!

And the severe yearning eventually dissipated.

Now I don't feel like I need or want to relive the American movie theater experience, and I'm certainly grateful that I couldn't do so when I did feel that yearning.

(This is also yet another example of how material goals are not as easily facilitated in Eretz Yisrael, while spiritual goals are much more within grasp – in fact, you're even even forced into the ruchnius aspect, whether you want it or not and whether you realize it or not.)

Some people feel like if you need barriers or restraints to prevent you from doing the wrong thing, then you're fake and what's the point anyway?

It's true that Jews on the level of Rav Miller or Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus don't even WANT to go to a movie theater. Just the idea is like suggesting that they to go sit in a sewage tank.

No appeal, just revulsion.

But there is still virtue in not doing something, even for the flimsiest of reasons.

​There is still benefit.

It's like ingesting more poison or less poison.

Even if you avoid certain poisons for silly reasons, like simply because they taste bad or even because you can't due to lack of availability, you still benefit because the less poison in life, the better!

Yes, self-restraint from the heart is ideal.

But, for example, all the food you didn't eat prevents obesity – even if the only reason you didn't overeat is simply because you could not access the overabundance of food.

All the illicit drugs you didn't take means you never overdosed into an early death.

All the "poison" you didn't ingest – for whatever the reason – means less damage to inner organs & quality of life.

​You still benefit, despite your not-terribly-noble-nor-pure reasons for not committing the act.

A post on non-kosher hankerings wouldn't be complete without the advice received from one of the only rebbetzins who was ever able to really help me to break out of certain culturally ingrained thought patterns.

She said that if these old taavot you thought you'd overcome and even forgotten about come slinging back at you, the solution is:

• Just sit down with Hashem and talk about why.

Part of the reason is Hashem making sure you get it all out of your system for the right reasons, and extract it at its root.

But it's also good to look at what these old taavot mean to you and what that's telling you now.

Meaning, if the old songs make you feel a certain way and that's the root of what you're longing for, then there's a spiritual longing under all that, which needs to be addressed and nurtured.

It's the same idea with illicit drugs, illicit relationships, discotheque dancing, or anything else.

What is really going on beneath it all? What is the message?

That's one way of doing it.

• You can also do sur m'ra v'aseh tov (Turn from evil and do good): Try not to think about it at all while simultaneously filling your mind and your life with spiritually delicious kosher thoughts & activities.

This is also the classic idea of taking your yetzer hara to the study hall – meaning that Torah is the antidote to your treif hankerings.

Eventually, it passes & you move on to the next level.

So please don't listen to others (including your own yetzer hara) who try to convince you that if you can only control yourself by placing some kind of barrier, or if you are only resisting because there is no outlet anyway, then your abstinence is worthless and fake.

FALSE.

For example, some people (even some frum people) think that if you need a solid filter on your Internet or to live in an entirely frum area to hold yourself together, or any other kind of "fence," then you are a hypocrite. You're not being "real." And so on.

FALSE.

The "purity of intentions" ideal is a particularly snooty holier-than-thou yetzer hara.

Yes, our goal is l'shem Shamayim and to act out purely of love for Hashem.

But avoiding sin for lesser reasons is also beneficial!

If you are being honest about your yetzer hara and what you need to resist it, then YOU ARE BEING REAL.

This also includes not adding more bad to the bad stuff you've already done.

Let's say that you gave in to the yearning to listen to, say, particularly angry rap music. But you still haven't given in to the yearning to smoke. 

Don't think that you might as well smoke too just because you've already slid into angry rap music sung by gutter rats who are rolling in millions of dollars and STILL feel angry and resentful about life, and want to encourage everyone else to feel that way too (because that's how they are getting filthy rich).

Nope. Don't give in to that.

Remember: The less the poison the better!

In Parshas Vayeitzei 3 – The Afflicted Righteous, Rav Avigdor Miller discusses a very intriguing core idea within Torah.

Originally, Rachel Imeinu was supposed to have been the primary mother of the Jewish people. Yaakov Avinu saw via Nevuah (Prophecy) that she was his true zivug and the primary mother of Am Yisrael.

​And to be sure, Rachel Imeinu holds a revered position among us to this day.

But ultimately, Leah Imeinu merited to be the primary mother – and she's also the woman from whom Mashiach descends.

As Rav Miller notes we aren't called Reuvenim or Shimonim (Leah Imeinu's first 2 sons).

We are called Yehudim, after Yehudah, the 4th son of Leah Imeinu & Yaakov Avinu.

It's very interesting, if you think about it.

We aren't even called after Leah Imeinu's firstborn, Reuven.

And even though Rachel Imeinu's firstborn Yosef Hatzaddik is renowned for his tremendous gevurah in the face of some of the worst trials, and that to this day, all Jewish boys are blessed to be like Yosef Hatzaddik's sons, Menashe & Efrayim, we are not called Menashe'im or Efrayimim.

We are Yehudim. (Wouldn't the refrain of that popular song, ki ani Yehudi, sound funny if it was ki ani Menashe'i?)

But why was the pre-destiny switched?

The Torah makes an explicit connection between Leah's suffering and her fertility.

The parshah states (Beresheit 29:31): "And Hashem saw that Leah was hated, so He opened up her womb​ and gave her children."

Except that Leah wasn't hated.

Yaakov Avinu couldn't possibly "hate" Leah.

Part of the proof is verse 30: "And he loved also Rachel more than Leah."

"Also...more than" implies that Yaakov Avinu loved Leah, but he simply loved Rachel Imeinu more.

Rav Miller emphasizes that Yaakov Avinu absolutely fulfilled the dictum of our Sages, to love his wife as himself.

So he loved both Rachel & Leah as himself!

But he just loved Rachel even more.

​So as much honor & affection as Yaakov Avinu showered upon Leah Imeinu, everyone know (just as everyone knows now) that she wasn't originally meant for him and that's not who he originally agreed to work for 7 years.

And both Rav Miller & Rav Shimon Gruen's wonderful weekly newsletter on the parsha emphasize that Yaakov Avinu was not angry with Leah and did not confront her, but confronted her father Lavan, who was the real snake behind the deception. Applying this lesson to real life? Go easy on your spouse, especially when he or she does something that really isn't his or her fault.

So Leah lived with this knowledge that she was the fifth wheel.

Even when Yaakov Avinu went to meet Esav, he kept Rachel Imeinu and her children the more protected part of the configuration. He also protected Leah Imeinu and her offspring, but circumstances forced him to grant the added protection to Rachel Imeinu.

And this was a very public configuration, to boot.

So this was the position Leah was always in and she knew it would never & could never change.

​And because of this, Leah was always weeping and talking to Hashem.

Rav Miller notes that the Gemara shows Leah Imeinu as a very wise young woman.

So how did Leah Imeinu respond to her understandably painful & irremediable situation?

Leah Imeinu decided to dedicated her entire purpose to building Am Yisrael.

Rav Miller emphasizes that this is the proper response to any encumbrance: COMPENSATE.

Don't just complain & sulk. Don't get depressed or look for distractions and escapes.

Compensate!

How can you make the spiritual best of the situation?

How can you, like Leah Imeinu, use the pain of your situation for spiritual growth?

Page 9 (boldface mine):

As much as Rachel Imeinu also davened and strove to attain character perfection, circumstances impelled Leah Imeinu to daven even more & strive even more.

Had situations been reversed, Rachel Imeinu would've been the one to daven more & strive harder.

But she wasn't. 

Leah found herself in the more agonizing position.

Page 9:

This is a tremendous secret to success.

Rav Miller goes on to make the mind-boggling point that this doesn't mean that Leah was better. In a sense, he says, Rachel was always better; Rachel was The Chosen One!

Because Leah wasn't The Chosen One, she needed to work harder.

And eventually, this tremendous inner investment earned her a tremendous place in the eternity of the Jewish people, in eternity as a whole.

In fact, despite Rachel Imeinu being the authentic zivug of Yaakov Avinu, it is Leah Imeinu who is buried next to him.

Now Rav Miller brings up a point I'd never considered: the saga of Shaul Hamelech (King Saul) & David Hamelech (King David).

And look at how history replayed itself.

​Shaul Hamelech is a descendant of Binyamin – Rachel Imeinu's youngest son.

According to his innate nature, Shaul was a better person than David Hamelech (who was the descendant of Yehudah, Leah Imeinu's 4th son). The Gemara says Shaul was a perfect tzaddik.

Who was supposed to head the royal line of the Jewish people?

Who was supposed to build the Beit Hamikdash?

Who was supposed to produce Mashiach?

Shaul from Shevet Binyamin!

"Shaul bechir Hashem – Shaul is the chosen of Hashem" (Shmuel II:21:6). Even the Bat Kol said it!

Shaul possessed exemplary character & lineage, and was exceptionally tall & handsome (quite different than the ruddy redhead of questionable birth born under Mars that David was).

But then Hashem decided that Shaul needed to be usurped by David (who also composed our beloved Tehillim).

Why?​

Hashem wants us to learn a tremendous lesson:

Hashem chooses the lesser one, the overlooked one. (The Kli Yakar also notes this several times throughout his commentary.)

The smaller mountain, Har Sinai, was chosen as the place to receive the Torah.

Gidon was the youngest of the smallest family of the smallest Tribe at a time when Am Yisrael was under the thumb of Midyan.

The one who looks least important, least impressive, and so is forced to strive the most – that is who ends up at the top.

This is literally all over Tanach, and even stated outright at times, especially throughout Mishlei/Proverbs.

Avraham Avinu grew up in a terrible environment, as did Moshe Rabbeinu.

Think about it.

Rav Miller notes that in Ur Kasdim, Avraham Avinu was the hated one because of his rejection of polytheistic occultism.

Moshe Rabbeinu was hated; he even needed to run for his life at one point. Later, he wasn't loved by the people as much as his brother Aharon HaCohen.

David was despised by much of his family until Shmuel Hanavi came to anoint him as king.

Chana, the mother of Shmuel Hanavi, felt very put upon by her co-wife, Penina. It's logical to assume that in the eyes of the community, people pitied Chana: "Oh, look. Poor Chana. She's such a lovely person, but she can't have children and so her husband needed to marry another woman, and she's producing one child after another while Chana still remains barren. Poor dear."

And before all that, you had Noach who was mocked and denigrated by his generation when he started building the ark – yet it was Noach who survived and earned the right to repopulate the planet.

(Please also note that sometimes, their pain & humiliation was very public, and not just within the private realm.)

Much later in the times of the Gemara, look at how belittled Rebbi Akiva initially was.

In recent generations, look at how many truly great tzaddikim were locked up in prison on false charges – hated for sure by many people, but profoundly loved by Hashem.

​Rav Miller notes that many of our greatest works were written in Exile (pg. 12):

Rav Miller stresses that while David Hamelech would've turned out very well no matter what, his extra suffering forced him to catapult all the way up to a state he originally wasn't meant to reach.

And so we in Am Yisrael must also realize that this is the way to our own spiritual perfection (page 13):

Speaking of true Jews vs. Jews in name only...

Is this one reason why, at the End of Days, the Erev Rav take over?

Is this why the Erev Rav are on top while the regular real Jews struggle under their thumb?

​We know who the real victors will be in the end.

Prudently, Rav Miller also warns us against looking at America's old pilgrims, or nuns & priests, or Buddhist monks, Lamas, or seemingly nice non-Jewish religious groups as comparable to the average Jew of yore.

Yes, they certainly look good. A tiny minority have even been truly heroic in saving Jewish lives. But as he notes, if you see them from up close, a different picture begins to take shape.

The real way to spiritual achievement is to struggle against Galut, both the general and the personal Exile.

On pages 14-16, Rav Miller describes the stories of 2 boys he personally knew, one born into a good Torah home and one not. And he also describes a very big rav who needed to make himself great because he was not from a great home.

And once again, the same dynamic plays out.

Rav Miller also addresses the well-known phenomenon of people who did not grow up frum mourning over their lack of Torah background. "And rightfully so," says the rav.

However...

He also notes that many people raised without Torah would not have become as great if they had been raised in a Torah environment.

You see converts & baalei teshuvah on fire, and even after the fire dwindles, you still see many of them struggling and striving.

And then you see FFBs going by rote.

But even among FFBs, you see those who struggle to overcome the "by rote," to overcome whatever was not so Torahdik in their upbringing.

Some of the FFBs I've met with the best middot are those who were raised by a father who seemed very important outside the home (not one of the Gadolei Hador, but merely a chashuv guy), yet was really kind of a jerk at home to his wife & children — even a bad-tempered tyrant.

Rather than flying off the derech, their father's hypocrisy forced them to dig for the real Judaism, to embrace truly good middot and not just the facade of good middot.

It's not so socially acceptable to say this (one side dislikes hearing that a rabbi can be a jerk, while the other side dislikes hearing that suffering children can actually turn out well despite everything), but I think it's an important point to make: Regardless of your upbringing & environment, you can overcome the natural set outcome by sheer will.

(Yes, it all comes back to ratzon – desire.)

On pages 17-18, Rav Miller offers brief examples of wives and students in difficult circumstances and what they can do to use these unhappy circumstances to their advantage.

Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein has spoken of a girl in his school who was diagnosed as hopeless by the New York Board of Education (the top "experts," the "builders" of education), and even told she had a bit of Down Syndrome (which means that she is defective at the chromosomal level).

Yet she overcome it all and ended up excelling academically.

The "experts" were wrong.

We have the famous verse Tehillim/Psalm 118:22, which is recited in Hallel:
​
"Even ma'asu habonim hayatah l'rosh pinah" – The cornerstone despised by the builders, despised by the experts, THAT is the one which will merit to be the cornerstone of the most exalted building to ever exist.

If you were never despised, if you were never the sanuah, then you actually have no chance of becoming a cornerstone.

One of the reasons thinking people are growing increasingly cynical & skeptical regarding science & mainstream media derives from the conflicting information, plus contradicting information that makes sense – sometimes even more sense – than the mainstream theory.

And yes, the problems in science & media go together.

To compound things, the mainstream media has always loved to promote "exciting" & emotionally appealing science, even if it's deadly.

​So even when science is decent, the media will warp it, even to the detriment of its readers.

For example, a 1917 book called Painless Childbirth-Eutocia and Nitrous Oxide-Oxygen Analgesia objected to the use of morphine and scopolamin (AKA hyosine, a hallucinogen) for labor pains due to the danger for mother & baby. Its author, Dr C. Henry Davis, preferred the much safer and more easily controlled doses of laughing gas.

Aside from the dangerous effects of the harder drugs on mother and baby, he noted that with these drugs, doctors increased their use of unnecessary & potentially harmful intervention (forceps, etc.) because the mother reached a "twilight sleep" where she didn't notice or object to the interventions.

(Some doctors even used forceps in up to 70% of the births they attended – facilitated by the twilighty mothers. How awful & unethical.) 

Yet he complained that women came to doctors specifically for these "twilight sleep" drugs, duped by the press which omitted the real dangers to life, along with other risks:

This was incredibly irresponsible journalism, because it led to women either seeking out doctors who irresponsibly used "twilight sleep" or the women pressured their doctors to use it, despite the very real risks it carried for the mother and especially for the baby.

But an even bigger problem is when fake news meets fake science.

Let's take the example of the recent wildfires in California.

Then several articles on Rivka Levy's blog opened my eyes to the possibility of an underground source for the fires.

This includes the devastating fire in Greece over the summer.

My own inquiry led me to an article that described several underground fires feeding on methane under Ventura County in California.

(Methane is highly, highly flammable.)

One such area, measured in 2008, topped 800 degrees Fahrenheit and melted the soles of the boots that stood on that area.

Geologists theorized that landslides in the 1990s may have caused this heating dynamic, but they admitted that they really don't know for sure.

(Earthquakes can cause landslides, BTW.) 

Experts already claim that these uncontrollable methane-based underground fires were responsible for the 2007 Ranch Fire.

But it's not just Ventura County.

In the Dick Smith Wilderness, firefighters discovered that the cause of the Los Padres National Forest fire came from...underground.

Naturally, one wonders where other extreme hot spots lie within California, and whether geologists & the media know about them? And if they know, do they let us know too?

Furthermore, studies have shown that efforts to conserve/preserve forests actually increase the intensity of wildfires (in addition to making the forests uninhabitable for species native to that forest). Please see The Torah View of Our Planet Earth: Use It or Lose It for more on that.

The question should also arise as to whether earthquakes play a part in the underground heating. 

Do earthquakes release more methane?

Or does the methane and underground fire influence earthquakes?

​I'm not sure, but here is a screenshot of the Live Earthquakes Map from November 29, 2019:

As you can see, California is covered in orange & red dots representing earthquakes.

And while I don't have an earlier screenshot to show you, a regular glance at this map over the past year shows that while southern California hosts little earthquakes, it is usually not covered in them as it is here.

November 29 was at the tail-end of the wildfire breakout.

This map shows this morning, December 3 2019, after most of the wildfires are over:

See? Many fewer earthquakes.

Much less fire now too.

Is there a connection?

It makes sense that there is, but when do we ever hear about it?

Certainly, the "preservation" of forests contributed to the wildfires.

But what do you mostly hear as the main contributing factor to extreme wildfires?

Manmade global warming!

Why is that? Why proclaim manmade global warming (which I don't believe in anyway) as the cause when real science points to forest "preservation" and underground methane fires as the more likely factor?

Real science means that they actually detected methane underground and found clear evidence (like smoke pouring out from underground) of real fires under the surface.

Not that they theorized about the methane and warbled on about "it seems like this" or "we assume that," but they actually detected it. You can physically measure it. And you can see the smoke.

Ironically, geologists told fire fighters NOT to put out the fires smoking away because geologists said it was better that the gasses burn rather than float around freely. 

​Hmm...

So there could just be highly flammable methane seeping out unburned in some areas?

Hmm...

Anyway, ignoring the obvious & much more rational need to explore methane & faulty "preservation" techniques is just one aspect that incites thinking people against mainstream media & popular science.

Instead of exploring the obvious (and proven, as far as "preservation" goes), the mainstream media continues to spout off about "manmade global warming" while scientists continue to weave mythologies about how human behavior is warming the state of California and contributes to extreme wildfires.

I guess it's more comfortable (and rakes in more money for fake environmental efforts) than facing the fact that there is something you can neither control nor prevent nor deal with (like underground methane fires).

Just as a side point...

You may have notice the comparison of earthquakes in other areas of the world.

According to my regular perusal of the map, there are always small earthquakes occurring in Alaska and California, and usually in Hawaii too.

The states of Washington & Oregon also show small earthquakes on a monthly basis.

However, I don't remember seeing earthquakes in Oklahoma or Kansas until around 2 months ago, and now they're appearing regularly. What does that mean? I don't know.

Also, Puerto Rico was not hosting earthquakes previously, but now they are weekly at least.

South America has also suddenly started seeing some earthquakes recently, especially in Chile. Today, it had one as big as a 6.

Just for fun, I decided to check the map again just now tonight December 3, 2019:

Golly, look at that. Look at what a difference a few hours makes.

That's the first time I remember seeing an earthquake in Idaho or Utah, but they're pretty tiny ones, both under 2 on the Richter scale.

Montana also has a tiny dot not visible here. 

California is acting up again (along with Nevada).

And Guatemala & El Salvador have been hit with 1 earthquake each measuring 4.6 and 4.9, respectively.

There's Chile's 6 right there.

Down there near Australia is Fiji, with a 4.9, which happens commonly enough in Fiji.

​And there you go.

UPDATE: Correction: It was the Tunisian Jewish women who dressed in billowing white wraps and pointy head-coverings, not the Greek Jewish women. (Sorry for the misinfo!) Plus, 3 authentic photos of these Tunisian Jewish women & men have been added to the end of the post. (The last photo contains a close-up of a very tsanuah woman with her face uncovered so you can see why their heads were pointy. Apparently, pointy princessy hair-coverings were in style back then – as were monobrows...)

Because tsniyut means a lot more than just the technicalities of inches regarding widths & lengths, I often prefer to use the word "dignity" or "refinement" as the translation, even though technically, the word means "hiddenness" in Hebrew and is indeed used that way throughout Tanach (and often not talking about women's clothing, but about Jewish behavior or even miracles – as shown in An In-Depth Discussion of One of Today's Most Despised Topics: Tsniyut/Tsniyus/Modest/Dignified Behavior & Dress).

For example, a friend of mine mentioned Jewish women of a certain group she sees from time to time in her neighborhood.

These women dress in traditional Arab dress, meaning a black hijab around their head and shoulders, plus a long black robe.

My friend says it doesn't really bother her in principle (yet some others get personally offended & disgusted when they see these women), except that when she first encounters these women, she's tenses up and checks them out until she realizes they are Jewish women and not potential terrorists.

And others certainly feel the same.

In fact, I imagine that any Jew (including Jewish men) in the vicinity would do as my friend and surreptitiously keep an eye on this women for suspicious activity, including trying to gauge whether she might have a suicide bombers belt around her midriff.

It's hard to label these clothes as "tsniyut," even though the technical covering is halachically sound as far as the length & width go.

Why?

Even though many be-hijabed women worldwide are not looking to massacre Jews, some have made strenuous attempts to do just that in Eretz Yisrael.

Hence, when Jews spot a be-hijabed woman in a neighborhood never frequented by Muslim women, they are prudent to be wary until her intentions can be clarified.

So if your clothing is actually instilling anxiety or fear within your fellow frum Jews, that doesn't fit within the bounds of tsniyut (especially because such a style is causing men to look at such a woman with extra scrutiny).

At this point, one might make the argument that all frum women look scary to at least some people because of the incitement of secular media. So a secular person with no other knowledge of frum people might feel anxious upon seeing a frum woman in his grocery store, thinking that it's a Jewish Taliban invading the area.

The difference is that wariness around a black hijab is a reasonable response in Eretz Yisrael. Women dressed in such a style have attempted to murder Jews. Actually, male terrorists have also used hijab and other traditional Muslima coverings to disguise themselves as females and elude Israeli security.

The fear doesn't derive from media incitement or false prejudices.

Therefore...

If your own fellow frum Jews who understand tsniyus cannot help but suspect you are a terrorist when they see you, then this is obviously a breach in tsniyus, despite the careful attention to technical measurements.

Likewise, a book I have on Jewish women throughout the ages shows a photo of a group of Jewish women in  ̶G̶r̶e̶e̶c̶e̶ ̶̶Tunisia from the year 1900. While their style of tsniyus was quite commendable at the time, the billowing head-to-toe all-encompassing white sheet with its pointy top gave me a lurch in the pit of my stomach when I first saw it.

For a moment, I thought it was a picture of the Ku Klux Klan (a murderously exclusive gang of bigots – one of their early murder victims was a white Republican senator – formed by Southern Democrats after the Civil War whose uniform consists of a billowing white robe, white covering over the face, and a pointy white head-covering).

Clearly, dressing in traditional Jewish G̶r̶e̶e̶k̶ ̶Tunisian attire today would not be tsnanuah.

So we see that tsniyut isn't just about measurements.

It IS about measurements – covering the necessary parts IS vitally important – but it's not ONLY the technical inches that count. Getting lost in the technicalities can actually produce a lack of tsniyus, as occurs with these Jewish women in hijab.

It's a certain mindset, a certain understanding; it contains nuance and most of all, a desire to imitate Hashem, who is also Hidden from the human eye. (Please see Why is It So Important to be Modest? for more.)

Despite the expansive width & generous length of the clothing, we should not dress like those who (possibly) hate us.

Tsniyut should not strike terror in the hearts of those around you.

There's a well-known story of a young woman who arrived at the original Beis Yaakov in pre-WWII Poland, and was met by Sara Schenirer, who greeted her with "Shalom aleichem," then immediately stuck a pin through the young woman's collar to close it, while offering brief words of explanation.

The young woman was Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus's mother, who came from America to Beis Yaakov at age 16.

The other Beis Yaakov girls were aghast at the reception for this American girl who'd just spent 24 hours traveling in uncomfortable conditions, only to be welcomed with such a rebuke.

Think about it.

Any normal person would consider such a reception as rude (which is why the Beis Yaakov girls themselves, in their innate compassion & sensitivity, immediately showed their disapproval, despite not knowing the girl and despite the respect & appreciated they had for their beloved teacher).

​​To compound things, Rav Pincus's mother was already careful to dress modestly.

But Rav Pincus's mother insisted that she wasn't offended at all!

And she really wasn't.

In fact, she didn't feel rebuked and always recalled the scene with affection.

​The question is why?

The secret is in Sara Schenirer's innate feelings toward both tsniyut and the Jewish girls themselves, plus the words she used to explain her actions.

Sara Schenirer told Rav Pincus's mother:

​To really understand what was going on, let's try to look at the scene beyond the physical 3-dimensional barriers and attempt to see the entire reality – which includes the spiritual dimensions.

What really happened was this:

This 16-year-old girl enters into a room in which all the other girls are clothed in royal cloaks of expensive velvet & silk studded with diamonds and lined with a collar of pure white ermine.

They're also surrounded by the most beautiful angels.

This 16-year-old girl is the only one without the stunning royal garments and the angelic companions. (Yes, she has royal garments & angels, but they aren't nearly as stunning or as beautiful as what appears among these girls.)

Suddenly, a woman clothed in even more glorious royal garments and holding an identical royal cloak in her hands greets the girl with a blessing, then proceeds to wrap the stunning royal cloak around the girl, fasting the ermine collar with its diamond closures.

Now unfathomably beautiful angels spring up around her too.

The crowned woman then explains, "Here in our palace, we don't neglect even the most important aspects of royal dress because we are prestigious princesses. We are daughters of the most important King of the World. And because you are one of us, you too deserve the privilege of wearing stunning royal garments and being surrounded by beautiful angels."

Knights aren't offended by kneeling in front of the king or queen and having a large iron blade waved around their shoulders.

Kings & queens aren't offended at kneeling and then having a very heavy & uncomfortable crown placed on their heads.

Likewise, no young woman would be offended at being draped with such stunning garments and being bequeathed such beautiful companions, while being told that she too is included within this exclusive & exalted royal circle.

That's what was really happening.

That was the real message being given.

I realized a couple of things should've been added to the post which included Rav Chaim Palagi's Kislev segulah to see huge miracles.

(1) First of all, when Rabbi Anava described the segulah, he mentioned that fulfilling the segulah (which is admittedly a very tall order) can bring about a huge miracle that year.

Not the day after Chanukah, or even the month after. Just some time that year.

In other words, the results may not be immediate.

For your sake, I hope they are. But it may not happen right away.

(2) Secondly, even if you fail while attempting this segulah (or fail several times throughout), perhaps you will:
​

• still see a big miracle just for the sincere attempt. 

 

• Or maybe you'll see small miracles rather than huge ones.

 

• Or maybe (and admittedly disappointingly), you won't sense any result of your heroic inner actions, chas v'shalom.

But one Truth remains:

No good deed or good thought ever goes lost.

Whatever good you do brings you blessing in This World or The Next, and oftentimes in both.

You may not feel or see it, but it's there waiting for you.

Also, it goes on the Heavenly Scales toward the side of merit for Am Yisrael, which means that without even perceiving it, you make the entire world a better place.

I'm planning on making a major overhaul to my computer, hopefully in the coming week. 

Usually, I don't have great mazal in the techie world, so who knows what will happen?

Also, I have "Post-Traumatic Tech Disorder" (which is a term I totally made up, but I bet you know exactly what I mean), and this makes everything even worse.

Despite all the boasts of how easy, simple, and quick this-or-that technological improvement is supposed to be, I usually run into hair-yanking bugs.

So if I accidentally lock myself out of this site or my email, that's what happened.

If I manage to produce & pre-schedule posts before the overhaul, it may look like I'm here, but really I'm not.

Or things may go swimmingly.

​You can never really know in advance...

As usual, Rav Avigdor Miller punches through casual assumptions we might have about the parshah (unless we are really paying attention).

In Parshas Toldos 3 – Esav and His World, we can take the following pop quiz:

Why was Esav called Edom?

Most people will say because he was born ruddy (adom).

But Rav Miller reminds us that the parshah actually says he was called Edom because he asked for "that red red stuff," the red lentils cooked by Yaakov Avinu, and therefore: al ken kara shemo Edom.​

Rav Miller explains that Esav came in the from the fields morally & spiritually weary.

Esav's grandfather, Avraham Avinu, had just passed on, and this shook Esav, even though he'd been raised in a home that not only believed in Olam Haba & the eternity of the soul, but lived every moment & every act according to this belief.

In contrast, Yaakov Avinu's emunah never wavered for a moment.

So when he saw Esav in this state, he realized that Esav really wasn't fit for the birthright. People could not say in Shemoneh Esrei: Elokai Avraham, Elokai Yitzchak, v'Elokai Esav.

​And that's when he asked Esav to sell him his birthright.

Not only was this an insightful request, it was also meant as tactful mussar for Esav.

And that was it for Esav and his descendants.

As Rav Miller sums up on page 8:

On page 9-10, Rav Miller describes the Divine business deal we have with Hashem.

We "sell" Him our Olam Hazeh, and in return, He gives us Olam Haba.

It's very difficult nowadays because Olam Hazeh is way too alluring.

It's stressful with tremendous opportunities for escapism – one of the deadliest combinations for a person's neshamah.

If it was stressful, but with no escape, so you would just tough it out like how they did in the olden days. You would face your challenges, and even rise to them. (And some people still do. Or at least, they try to.)

But now....:

• You can just drug yourself into contentment (legally!).

 

• You also have so many ways to cultivate addictions.

 

• Gamblers needn't actually go to a casino anymore.

 

• You no longer need a TV or to cruise over to the nearest movie theater for those brainwave changes.

​

• Ranting, soap-boxing, lashon hara, and other unhealthy outlets can all be performed from home, either anonymously or using your real name (or an easily discovered moniker). You no longer need to suffer the obstacle of others stopping or avoiding you as you do when you start up face-to-face.

​

• And while you can't guzzle, snort, or smoke your keyboard, lots of unsavory & addictive stuff can be ordered from the privacy of your home (which actually isn't so private because your credit card has tons of information about you).

Anything you do to face Olam Hazeh head-on & minimize it is REALLY REALLY GOOD.

You are one in a million.

And mitzvah goreret mitzvah – one good deed often leads to another in its wake.

Once you get used to being a better person, you're more likely to become an even better person.

Even with the spiritual descents, your overall movement can still be upward.

On pages 10-11, Rav Miller reminds us that we are just visitors to This World.

Yes, we need a certain amount to help us function normally, but on the other hand, as Rav Miller puts it, you don't take a sofa with you to wait for the bus or the train.

Why?

It's not worth it.

This reminds me of the first international flights, which were decked out like suites for first-class passengers on ships – which took weeks to cross the ocean, rather than mere hours.

First-class travelers can still utilize cozy bed-cubicles for international flights, but airlines quickly realized that the super-spacious luxury suites common long voyages weren't financially or practically worthwhile for such a short period of travel. 

What Avraham Avinu's passing should have meant to Esav was MORE attachment to Olam Haba and ruchniut, not less attachment.

On page 14-15, Rav Miller's mentions one of his 10 Steps to Greatness:

• Think about Olam Haba for 30 seconds every day .

On page 17, Rav Miller mentions his experience in an old-age home, in which the only content person was a bearded learning man – in other words, the only person there who had lived his life according to Olam Haba.

The gradual decay of Olam Hazeh didn't bother him nearly as much as it did his fellow inmates who'd lived for Olam Hazeh.

It reminded me of one of Tzirel Rus Berger's turning points in The Mountain Family.

She used to talk to people in an old-age home.

One used to be a beauty queen and always talked about how beautiful she'd been.

Although Tzirel Rus could see traces of that former beauty on her face, this 70-something woman was certainly far from the beauty she'd been and therefore, could only live in the past of what was & never will be again. (Also, looks are so not important.)

Another man kept talking about all the things he'd do when he'd "leave this place."

Looking at his physical condition and his age, Tzirel Rus realized that there was no way he would ever be able to leave. He lived in an imaginary future, in his dreams.

And so on.

The only person who seemed happy was a woman who'd raised a very large family and enjoyed a constant stream of adult children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

The family didn't have much money, Tzirel Rus noted, but they had love, friendship, and happiness.

People who invest in Olam Haba are happier people and remain even happier long after they pass from This World.

May Hashem help all of us to live for Olam Haba.