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A Quick Word on the Truth about Women & Daat Kalah

3/7/2018

8 Comments

 
One of the obstacles for women to reading original sources is their discussion of women. And at some point, the Sage will mention women's daat kalah.

I think a lot of women don't know quite how to respond in their own mind to this, and I think there is trepidation or a lack of skills in looking it up. So a lot of people (including men) fall back on apologetics or trying to pretend it's not there or trying to understand it superficially (with all the negativity that implies).

But first, here's an explanation of daat (or daas, if you prefer):
Daat is very hard to translate because it means different things in different contexts. In some contexts, daat means “knowledge” or “mind,” but neither of those definitions relate to daat in this context.

In Kiddushin 80b, Rashi explains daat kalah as being more "easily swayed/influenced/seduced” by subjective factors.

So there you go.

And yes, men are also swayed by subjective factors, like their physical needs (which is why some men can "forget" really important things or behave irresponsibly and selfishly when they are tired or hungry or worse), but an observant person will see that it's still different than the way in which women are swayed and influenced.

For example, it's easier to convince women to act against their own interests or values or integrity or knowledge than it is for men IF the women are not firmly anchored in emuna.

This is why history is replete with out-of-wedlock conceptions and women functioning as "ladies of the evening" and more recently, the feminist movement and the female pro-abortion stance and joining military combat units. It's immoral men and immoral women taking advantage of such women's daat kalah for their own evil agendas.

In contrast, Chazal heaps praises on women's steadfast emuna and loyalty to Hashem, praising women for keeping the halachot they know more faithfully than men.

So steadfast emuna counteracts any downside to daat kalah.

The prime daat source—Chazal—imbues every person with a center of spiritual gravity to hold him or her securely in place. The more one learns AND internalizes Torah, the more daat he or she has.

Women don't completely lack daat, we are just daat-lite. Men have both daat and binah, but women are lighter than men on daat and heavier than men on binah, baruch Hashem.

Dealing with Daat Kalah

And here is the truth with which many modern women understandably struggle when reading Chazal:
If you are female, you are innately light on daat.

Yes, you are.

But it doesn't mean that you can't achieve personal greatness.

Sara Imeinu was a higher-level prophet than her husband, yet she still had daat kalah.

Beruria was a screaming genius and a baalat emuna, yet she still had daat kalah.

Chana merited to birth Shmuel and is the prototype for tefillah, but she still had daat kalah.

Hashem set things up like this for everyone's benefit. Men are supposed to provide women with daat. It's part of the innate giver role with which Hashem imbued men.

A lot of men refuse to access their own daat, let alone let it overflow onto others, which is one of the major reasons why things have gotten so wonky in the frum world.

If women are lucky, they have fathers or husbands who are a healthy source of daat. This is a significant part of the male role in family and society. Unfortunately, many men don't know to fulfill this role properly and many women don't understand the importance of being receptive to this male contribution.

If you are a woman and you don't have the appropriate men in your life, or the men you do have are either amei haaretz or namby-pamby misers about providing you with your rightful quantities of daat, then you can turn to learning mussar on your own, learning a halacha a day, consulting with a rav (if he's right for you), or just turn straight to the Source Himself: Hashem (which is exactly what smart Jewish women have done for millennia, actually.)

What Daat Kalah is NOT

But it's vitally important to note what daat kalah is NOT.

Daat kalah is NOT synonymous with being:
  • stupid
  • pathetic
  • hysterical
  • unworthy
  • deserving of disrespect
  • blindly obedient
  • inconsequential
  • an excuse to denigrate women (including a self-denigrating woman)

It CAN be the root of or exacerbate the above negative qualities, but it doesn't NEED to.

And again, this can't be said enough:
Daat in this context has nothing to do with intellectual IQ.

You (ladies) can have skipped 2 grades in elementary school, achieve early entrance to Harvard medical school, and graduate at the top of your class...and still be controlled by your daat kalah. (Yep. I've seen it, and it ain't pretty.)

On the other hand, you can be a regular student and get married out of high school and balance keeping house while sitting pregnant at your part-time desk job...and be wise beyond your years, a fountain of good middot, wisdom, and brilliantly applied binah. (I've seen this too and believe me, it's something to aim for.)

The Wise Woman of Valor: You

Please remember that in the same breath (or quill) that Chazal mention a woman's daat kalah, they also mention her extra binah, an ishah chachamah (a wise woman), an ishah maskilah (an intelligent woman), female prophetesses, along with the great emuna, fidelity, mesirut nefesh possible in women.

The Torah itself is compared to a Woman of Valor (Eishet Chayil), and other exalted holy female characterizations are:
  • the holy Jewish neshamah
  • the Shechinah
  • Eretz Yisrael
  • the Jewish people
  • the Sabbath (Shabbat Kallah/Bride)

So in a nutshell, you can have daat kalah and still become:
  • a prophetess
  • a woman of great wisdom
  • a woman of profound intelligence
  • a holy woman
  • a tzadekes (a completely righteous woman)
  • the best adviser to your husband (so says Bava Metzia 59a)

On the other hand, a man has normal amounts of daat, but he can still be an evil pig.

So to sum it all up:

Women who allow their innate negatives to control them are a pain in the neck and damage society.

Men who allow their innate negatives to control them are a pain in the neck and damage society.

Women who use properly what Hashem gives them become a merit for the world (as the Kli Yakar says in Chayei Sara, that righteous women are as vital to the world as the rotation of the Sun).

Men who use properly what Hashem gives them become a merit for the world (like the 36 tzaddikim in whose merit Hashem allows the world to exist) 

So everything depends on what you do with it.

Chazal doesn't denigrate women, it states a fact for the benefit of both men and women. (And really, since they mostly expected men to read their words, they mostly wanted men to understand this IN ORDER for men to take proper responsibility.)

Well, if this was your issue (as it was mine at one time), I hope this helped.
__________
Related post:
Halacha: The Best Boost for Daat Kalah

May we all complete our tikkun in this lifetime without trials or tribulations.
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8 Comments
Neshama
4/7/2018 11:56:54

Well, where do I start? Some of the language I found inappropriate and/or incorrect. If these are your terms, I apologize and do not mean to insult, it’s just my way of analyzing.
"pansies” = pansies are/were used to identify some gays.
“normal amounts of daas” how does one define “normal” here? In fact, I would say that this midda/quality is different/individual to each person.
"evil pig” = not appropriate (could relate to ben sora u’mora)
"out-of-wedlock conceptions = Yehuda and Tamar?” This was a mitzvah and other unseemly actions could be part of the Geulah to confuse the satan.
"easier to convince women to act against their own interests or values or integrity or knowledge” Could it one say, other than the inyan of Halacha, certain actions are reflective of the ways of Hashem? One can surely advance in knowledge while the result appears to be a reversal. One’s interests change as one matures; so it is not unusual for one to improve interests by negating former ones. Thus, we have teshuva.
Also, there is “Daas Yehudis” which is modest behavior as well as attire.

Reply
חוה link
4/7/2018 16:00:01

Are you saying:

Women have daat kalah and bina k'vedah (or yeterah as I've heard it)
Men have daat k'vedah and bina kalah
Therefore, we balance each other?

Many thanks again, Myrtle...

Reply
Myrtle Rising
4/7/2018 19:16:02

Hi, Chava,

First of all, you're right about the proper exact term being "binah yeterah" -- extra binah, which I wrote colloquially as women being heavier in binah, so to speak.

I suppose "yeterah" can be translated as "additional," "extra," or "surplus" or "added."

So I'd just ask in addition to what? Added to what? The answer seems to be that binah yeterah is more than a man's binah; he's got the standard amount and she's got extra.

So regarding your inquiry, I guess I'd say that I've never come across any description of men possessing binah kalah or daat yeterah.

I suppose if there is someone well-versed in the Gemara reading this, he can feel free to chip in if he's ever seen either phrase: daat yeterah or binah kalah with regard to men.

So the implication is that men possess the standard amounts of both and women are lighter in daat but heavier in binah.
__________
The question of balance is an intriguing one:

According to everything I've read (which isn't everything there is), it's not an issue of balance but a coherence of interlocking parts, like the concept of a husband and wife being two parts of the same soul, and the original Adam, who was male and female together.

Just to go deeper into the topic of male daat as opposed to female daat and why it's set up like that: The concept of male responsibility in Judaism is very much lost in our generation, but all of Chazal discusses and insists on it.

Just as one example, the Pele Yoetz literally says that the prime responsibility of marital harmony is placed on the man, more than on the woman, which sounds radical in our confused times.

Men were given certain abilities (like standard amounts of daat & binah) to achieve their potential, both as men and each one as an individual soul journey. The problems we're having today with youth going off the derech, sxual abuse in our community, marital dissatisfaction, etc., are in a large part due to men's reluctance to fulfill their halachic roles and obligations properly...and due to the misunderstanding of many well-meaning but mislead women who believe men can't or don't need to and therefore women should instead.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that men were given a great many responsibilities in both the spiritual and material realms and they've been given the tools to fulfill these responsibilities, whether they want to or not.

The halachic responsibility for the practical and spiritual welfare of marriage is on the man, the halachic responsibility of chinuch is on the man, the halachic responsibility of putting on tefillin or going to daven in a minyan or hundreds of other mitzvot are on the man.

Women might have responsibilities in these areas too (I'm not saying we don't), but she's not halachically obligated to the same extent.

So I guess it's a certain coherence rather than balance.

Thank you, Chava!

Reply
Myrtle Rising
4/7/2018 16:11:11

(Side Note to All: My filter is getting erratic again and blocked me from seeing Neshama's comment on the web page and blocked me from responding. But fortunately, I could see her comment within my Weebly editor page. So I tried to set it up so her comment would show and so also I could respond. Hope it worked out!)

Hi, Neshama,

Thank you for your comment.

First of all, I understand and appreciate certain points you made, but I admit I'm confused by other points.

For example, I had associated the word "pansy" with wimp, and nothing more, but I do see the validity of your point & out of respect for the more refined language that should be used, it has been changed.

Secondly, "normal" is implied by the Gemara. If women have light daat and extra binah compared to men, then it's implied that men have the standard amounts of both. Or else to what is it comparing "light" and "extra"?

Thirdly, I'm confused as to why isn't "evil pig" appropriate? I'm really confused about this. Is not a man who exploits women or commits terrible crimes against humanity an "evil pig"? A human being who gives into his yetzer hara all the way with no conscience indeed becomes an "evil pig" to my mind. Can I not call Titus an evil pig, for example? I wonder if there is a misunderstanding here...

Furthermore, I'm surprised to see Yehudah and Tamar brought into the picture. Their story never occurred to me within the context of this post, and I would never associate them with the immoral acts described in the post. So please rest assured, I was definitely not denigrating these holy people or their actions in any way.

Instead, that part of the post referred to general human history, specifically the thread running throughout the history of Christendom, with the continuous problems of vulnerable girls being exploited, plus the need for unwed mother homes and placements for illegitimate babies, and all the other things mentioned in the post.

Again, the fact that throughout history, including recent times, people have managed to convince virtuous women into premarital relationships, or to kill their unborn babies, to enter into military combat, and many other things that are clearly harmful to women, and is a sign of daat kalah without steadfast emuna.

Finally, your final points are well-taken and much appreciated. Yes, yes, and yes!

Thank you.

Reply
Neshama
5/7/2018 08:24:13

Thank you for commenting on my comment. I was afraid you would be offended and hoped not.
“Pig” I believe is not used in Torah language, they refer to ‘hazer’. It is deemed not a proper term for the Jewish mouth to utter. I refer one to RBbi Kessin’s latest audio shiur on Lashon Hara, that the Jewish Tongue and mouth that praises HaShem and says devarim Kedushas not use the same to say unsavory terms. In fact, it is preferred to use the words, “not .....” rather than the derogatory term for the same.

I only brought Y and T because there were instances in our early history that this situation was used to circumvent the Satan. I see your point that you meant “not within accepted norms”. Again here, Rabbi Mizrachi has mentioned that non-Jews have not the marriage Halacha we have, and in fact cohabit without being married. And this could bring offspring.
We Jews have the category of mamzerous, which does prevent many such un halachic situations from happening in the first place. Israelis are very aware of this and “mothers to be do not want this stigma on their offspring. So things have much improved.
I agree that the subject of male and female identities are complicated and fascinating otherwise, the identity confusion nowadays is due to the Satan doing everything like Bilam/Balak did.
I recommend highly everyone listen to Rabbi Kessin’s words, to be found on ShiratDevorah and my blog also. Extremely eye opening and alarming at the same time.
Wishing you a delightful summer and keep up your interesting topics.

Reply
Myrtle Rising
5/7/2018 11:09:21

Hi, Neshama,

Thank you for your comment.

Your original comment was worded thoughtfully and clearly coming from a place of genuine concern without any intent to offend, so it was easier to take the comment in the spirit of concern you meant, with no offense.

Also, your attention to language is much appreciated. Foul words have become common even among some frum people, despite Chazal's severe condemnations of such language.

Nowadays, elderly people who would've punished their children for using such language now use that exact same language when speaking to their adult children.

(It bothers me too.)

It's reassuring to see that someone cares so much about refinement of speech (although I admit that I'm still confused about the difference between using "chazer" and "pig"?)

Anyway, thank you for your kind wishes and I second your recommendation to go visit yours and Shirat Devorah's blogs to see the Rav Kessin talks on lashon hara:

http://habayitah.blogspot.com/2018/07/rabbi-mendel-kessin-shlita-key-to-both.html

https://shiratdevorah.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-true-power-of-speech.html

Best wishes!

Reply
Neshama
5/7/2018 08:36:59

I left something out. Rabbi Mizrachi on the topic of reincarnation, has mentioned, I believe, that souls can return into various entities, human and otherwise. In fact a male neshoma can return in a female body, which I believe refers to the mind, as this is where the Neshoma resides. I also believe that’s why marrying your basherte is imp. As they make up two parts of one whole. Some women have ‘heads’ for learning, called a “gomorra cup”. Things are not so regular these days, because we are nearing the end of the birthing of souls and coming close to techias hameitim, which is the resurrection of the final souls.

Reply
Myrtle Rising
5/7/2018 10:48:26

Hi, Neshama,

Thanks for mentioning this; it's so true.

I think we either know people who or experienced ourselves the "memories" of being in another lifetime as a different gender than we are in this lifetime.

(I also think the concept you mentioned is behind a lot of the trans beliefs and behaviors, especially in children.)

And it's true that some women have a head for learning Gemara, but it doesn't negate the reality of daat kalah (as with Beruria whose brilliance in Torah scholarship surpassed that of most male Torah scholars, but she still had daat kalah).

Also, if it wasn't stressed enough in the original post, daat kalah is no impediment to spiritual greatness or high levels of wisdom. We can have righteous women and evil men because one's goodness isn't dependent on the amount of daat one possesses.

(Just one example of a woman greater than her husband despite daat kalah is how Shimshom Hagibbur's mother was a greater person than his father. But they worked well together and produced an exemplary child.)

Thank you!

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    I'm a middle-aged housewife and mother in Eretz Yisrael who likes to read and write a lot.


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