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UPDATED: Mi K'Amcha Yisrael? - Who is Like Your Nation Yisrael?

29/4/2019

Based on new information, I re-wrote this post.

In the words of Rabbi Yisrael Goldstein, Lori Gilbert Kaye was "a woman of chesed and kindness," a very special and cherished member of his congregation.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke about this special Jewish woman.

Lori had come to shul to say the Yizkor prayer for her recently deceased mother.

With this as her last intention, Lori was suddenly shot to death in the foyer of the shul.

And according to the new information, Rabbi Goldstein was the hero of the hour, along with a Jewish off-duty border patrol guard.

If you haven't already, please see 2 important posts at Shirat Devorah:

Rabbi Goldstein Speaks from His Hospital Bed

And it's essential to see Devorah's comment in the following post, where she describes what she heard first-hand from Rabbi Goldstein's sister, who also lives in Australia:

San Diego

The media accounts are so different than Rabbi Goldstein's account. I don't even know how the media came up with the information they did, some of which is outright false according to the above.

May Rabbi Goldstein (Yisroel ben Chana Priva) and the other injured merit a complete and speedy healing.

And may Rabbi Goldstein's amazing courage and exemplary selflessness (even as blood poured from his wounds, he first concerned himself with the safety of the children in the area, then later gave powerful chizuk to his congregants, and refused to leave until everyone was accounted for) stand as a merit for himself and for us all.

What a kiddush Hashem!

It goes without saying that Lori Gilbert Kaye was murdered al kiddush Hashem.

She was murdered in the middle of doing worthy deeds - simply because she was a Jew.

May Hashem yinkom damah and may she be a melitz yosher for all Am Yisrael.

And may those injured merit a speedy and complete healing.

Mi k'Amcha Yisrael? Who is like Your Nation Yisrael?

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On the Profound Loss of the Kaliver Rebbe, Rav Menachem Mendel Taub ztz"l

28/4/2019

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Starting from before Pesach, we've been losing precious Jews (in addition to frightening incidents survived by other precious Jews).

I'm even hesitant to start naming each one for fear of forgetting one.

One very big heartbreak is the loss of the Kaliver Rebbe, Rav Menachem Mendel Taub ztz'l.

While I never had the privilege of meeting him, I was always impressed by his simchas chaim, along with the sweetness & temimus emanating from his face.

In fact, his simchas chaim, sweetness, and temimus make no sense in the face of what he suffering during the Shoah: In addition to the "standard" horrors, the Kaliver Rebbe suffered in the Auschwitz "clinic" of inhuman human experimentation.

As a result of this sadistic treatment, the Rebbe was never able to re-grow his beard. He never had children either.

May all his deeds, the Torah-true Jews he influenced and the Torah institutions he founded and nurtured, and the sefarim he composed be considered as "offspring" for him.

His success as a Rebbe on American soil is also amazing.

All he accomplished — both the exterior accomplishments of re-building Yiddishkeit in a foreign land & the inner accomplishments of his personal tzidkus — can only be the result from his profoundly pure middah of emunah.

You can read an English-language interview with him here:
The Kaliver Rebbe: "Each day is its own Yom Hashoah."

Please note the crystalline Torah hashkafah in his answers.

For example, his firm "Yes!" on whether it is important for young people today to remember and learn about the Holocaust is based on the Torah directive to remember what Amalek has done to the Jewish people AND as a way to unify the Jewish Nation, which prevents war.

His advice for preventing another Shoah & protecting the Jewish people in general can be summarized as follows:

Solid emunah in Hashem
Loving our fellow Jews
Serving Hashem with joy
Keeping Shabbat scrupulously
Saying "Shema Yisrael"

Incredible advice from a Jew who endured unimaginable torments...all because he was a Jew.

May we please merit Rebbe Menachem Mendel ben Yehudah Yechiel as a melitz yosher for us all.

Yizkor...Remember...

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Rav Avigdor Miller on The Secret to Happiness (courtesy of Toras Avigdor)

25/4/2019

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One of the things I really like about Rav Avigdor Miller's style is that he doesn't just say, "Be grateful for indoor plumbing" or "What would you do without electricity?" (It's good to say these things of course, but Rav Miller has a special way of getting the same point across.)

Instead, Rav Miller ztz"l fleshes it out in great detail so that you can see the deprivation clearly and really feel the contrast between what you have and what you could be missing if you weren't so fortunate.

It helps so much with fostering gratitude.

Also, I enjoy what he says here about pockets because this year, taking my son to gan involves getting on the bus. And initially, I was overwhelmed with holding onto my son, maneuvering my bus pass, and getting us to sit down, all with my purse swinging under my arm. Then I remembered I have one top with pockets and it was amazing how much EASIER it was to maneuver the whole bus routine with two roomy pockets!

It's true that much of women's clothing either lacks pockets or else the pockets just aren't deep & roomy enough.

Anyway, this is what showed up in my Inbox today from Toras Avigdor:

Q:
It was said here many times that man possesses a deep well of happiness within him. How does one open it up?

A:
I am going to tell you the secret right now. Happiness is not one thing, happiness is ten thousand things. Now, pay attention; you’ll ridicule me, but if you’ll be serious, you’ll see I’m giving you something, a big gift.

Number one, learn to be happy that you have a roof over your head. Here's a poor woman, homeless, a little bit demented, and she’s pushing a shopping wagon. All her worldly possessions are in the shopping wagon; she has nothing. She doesn’t have a bathroom, she doesn’t have a kitchen, she doesn’t have a bed to sleep in. Where does she go when it’s raining? A pity on her. You see, she’s bedraggled; it’s mamish a heartbreak to look at her. If she could only have a place to sleep. But she sits down on a bench; it’s freezing weather, and she’s trying to get a nap on a bench, trying to fall asleep on a park bench. It’s freezing, and she has no place to sleep.

And you - you have a house with a roof over your head. How lucky she would be if she could have a little place, a shack with a roof over her head; she’d be the happiest person right now. Even without any heat, she could lie down on the floor at least, and sleep. She doesn’t have that. So first learn to enjoy a roof over your head. It takes a long time to appreciate a roof properly. A roof over your head - what a happiness that is!

Then learn what it means to have running water in your house. Running water! It takes a long time to learn to enjoy that. When I was in Europe, we didn’t have any running water in the houses; no such thing! In the yeshiva, there was a keg of water the shamish used to fill up. Nobody drank from it, chas vesholom. To drink from the water of the keg? It was poison, that keg of water. No water was cleaned by the city! Water came from a well and there were germs in the keg - they never washed the keg for years. Any water had to be boiled before you drank it in Europe.

And when you wanted to take a bath, there was no bathroom. So either you went to the shvitzbat – the public bathhouse, or they brought in a tin tub. Balabatim had a big tin tub, and they boiled up water in a teakettle. One after the other they poured it in, until the tub was half full. Then you bathed in that water, in a room someplace, in a bedroom. So you bathed in a tin tub in water which was boiled in teakettles. When you got through with it, if you had a little brother, he bathed after you in the same water because they couldn’t afford to fill it up twice. I saw it happen that way.

Nobody had a bathroom. When you go to the toilet, it’s wintertime, in the middle of the night, you had to put on your boots. I stamped through the snow at nighttime. We walked through the snow with heavy boots to the bathroom. You think the bathroom had a seat? No! You crouched over a hole. In the summertime, when you came out, you had to wait about an hour before the odor would go out of your clothing.

So you start enjoying bathrooms and running water in your house. You have cold water? Not warm water; just cold water in your house is a big simcha. After a while you start enjoying hot water too! Hot water? That’s a luxury! Hot water too!

Then you start enjoying the fact that you have a chair to sit on. In Arabia, they sit on the ground, they don’t sit on a chair. Arabs sit on the ground; they don’t have the luxury of chairs. The nomads have tents. When they want a bathroom, what do they do? They dig a hole in the bottom of the tent, and they do their needs, then they cover it up with dirt. In the tent! That’s the luxury in an Arabian tent.

But you have a bathroom. So you’re a millionaire already; you have everything. Little by little, you study all these things, and you start becoming rich. After a while you see you have ten thousand things that other people don’t have.

Then you start studying your clothing. You have coat? A coat?! And you have pockets in it! You know, ladies don’t have pockets. That’s why I always say, you make the bracha "שלא עשני אשה" because women don’t have pockets. Men have pockets. Isn’t that a luxury to have pockets? Don’t think it’s a joke. Pockets are a big convenience. It’s a very big gift to have pockets!

After a while, you start enjoying your belt. You make a special brocha: "אוזר ישראל בגבורה". You have to learn to enjoy your belt, otherwise you’re making a bracha levatala, for nothing, every day. So learn to enjoy your belt.

All this takes time, but after a while, you become so full of happiness, you don’t know where to stop. So much happiness! So, happiness consists of knowing many things. And if you invest your mind in studying each individual thing, after a while, it adds up to a very great amount of happiness.

--TAPE # 921

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Why Ignoring Pain isn't Really Emuna

24/4/2019

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A while back, a friend of mine mentioned that if a nisayon isn’t painful, then it’s not really a nisayon.

And if we shut down or run away so as not to feel the pain, then it doesn't move us forward.

And she’s right.

(Actually, she said she got the idea from hearing classes on Rav Chaim Volozhin's book, Nefesh HaChaim.)

And so, how many times is physical or emotional pain a wake-up call?

Yes, we should strive to be happy & content with our lot at all times, knowing that Hashem is Personally involved in our lives and soul-rectifications until the finest detail.

But the only way to really never feel pain is to disassociate.

And that’s not what Hashem wants.

We’ve all met people for whom life is one big blur. They never fully engage. Even when their life starts falling apart, they merely struggle to disengage further, even taking sedatives if necessary.

In Tova Mordechai’s book, To Play with Fire, she describes her parents’ bizarre reaction to the funeral of their oldest daughter, Esther, after she’d died young from a ravaging disease. Their non-Jewish evangelical father put his arm around Tova and commented, “It was nice, wasn’t it?”

Oh, yes! The funeral of your beloved daughter was so "nice"!

Understandably, Tova found such callous behavior profoundly hurtful and infuriating.

Her Jewish mother, who’d long ago gone over to the side of the evangelicals, remarked that for them — meaning Tova, the Jews who’d loved Esther, and Esther's widowed husband and orphaned child — it was a tragedy, but “for us”— meaning, the Yoshke-worshipers — it was a victory.

Being a fully-committed Jew by that time, Tova allowed herself to grieve for her sister, which is the most natural and healthiest response to such a loss.

How disturbing that the parents were such Moonies that they could not even allow themselves to feel pain at the untimely loss of their own child — let alone compassion for the young son (their grandchild) who would grow up with no mother.

So pain doesn’t mean we should kick into Moonie-mode. That’s not emuna.

It means we need to dig around to see what needs rectifying, fixing, fine-tuning.

Something’s missing. What is it?

Maybe it’s as simple — and as sometimes excruciating — as saying, “Gam zeh l’tovah—This too is for the best.”

That's because some pain is a tikkun and an atonement beyond any understanding or anything we can do.

But many other times, it’s a nudge to get us going up to the next level in our spiritual development.

We don’t need to pretend the pain is not there.

At some point, we need to face it head-on.

And when we deal with it, we need to know that we're not dealing with it alone. Not really.

Hashem is right there with us.

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Pesach Posts

22/4/2019

6 Comments

This is a bit belated, but if you are interested in Pesach posts (and a recipe for traditional Moroccan Pesach soup, which can be adjusted for non-kitniyot eaters), then please click on "Pesach" in the sidebar under "Categories."

Or click here:

View of the Yarmouk Valley, the Kinneret Sea, and Tiveria from Umm Qais (formerly Gadera) in North Jordan (AKA the territory of Shevet Menashe). -- By English Wikipedia user Daniel Case, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

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What If the Criticism & Demands Just Don't Stop?

19/4/2019

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Experiencing an insult, embarrassment, or criticism is always some kind of atonement.

And that's a good thing (even though it really burns).

But it's also often a hint for your own behavior.

And while it's very good to remain silent in the face of critics and slave-drivers, and accept your kaparah with good grace, it's even better to use the offensive behavior as a springboard for your own self-improvement.

For example, many people have someone in their life whom they can never please.

It could be a family member, a neighbor, a boss, a co-worker...and no matter how much you contort yourself into a pretzel to cater to their desires, your efforts are never good enough.

And yes, that feeling of never, ever being good enough no matter how hard you try (and especially if you do actually try) is soul-destroying.

At the same time, it's good to take a step back into Hashem's Great Love for you and in that warm, secure place of His Love, examine your own behavior for bursts of criticism, insults, and other stumbling blocks...and also maybe an atom of truth packed deep inside the other's complaints, mockery, or demands.

It's important to note that you aren't necessarily looking for behavior as appalling and hurtful as what you might be experiencing or accused of.

Many times, Hashem supercharges the hint/atonement just so you don't miss it.

So you might be looking at very occasional behavior on your part or a very small or side way in which you are kind of doing what you are accused of.

Or you might be looking at very quiet critical comments you've made or barbs you've said in jest.

You might be looking at behavior you only act out with one person. (For example, sometimes we fall into less-than-ideal patterns within long-term relationships, especially those formed when we were younger and more self-absorbed.)

But what if you just don't see it?

Digging Down to the Root Issue

Let's say that you are one of these people who is always very careful with your speech.

And you're very careful with how you treat others in general.

You are a naturally sensitive and thoughtful person who has worked hard at being even more sensitive and thoughtful toward others.

In fact, you rarely even feel the urge to take someone to task. You don't offer constructively intended criticism disguised as "loving advice" and you honestly don't understand the desire to shoot barbs or hurtful "jokes" at others.

Or, let's say that you are the least lazy person you've ever heard of, yet the other person keeps insisting you ARE lazy. (Maybe it's a spiritual indolence rather than a physical or behavioral indolence?)

Or, let's say that you did discover some ugly warts of tactlessness or hostility -- but you went to work on them and behave much better now.

Yet your nemesis (or series of nemeses) just isn't letting up on you.

So what gives? (This is what I asked myself as I rolled some paint on a wall in a futile attempt to cover up some toddler art...yes, it was a housepainting hitbodedut & self-accounting!)

Anyway...what about one's attitude toward Hashem?

This can be a struggle because maybe things are truly wrong and harsh in your life.

But do you thank Hashem enough for the things that do go right?

Do you tell Hashem how Great He is and how much You love Him, even if you don't always show it?

Or is it that no matter how much Hashem does for you, it's never, ever good enough?

And yes, of course there are always things we need and Hashem grants us losses and disadvantages in life specifically so that we will ASK HIM to remedy these and grant our requests.

So we can request the fulfillment of our desires AND also profoundly appreciate Hashem.

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FREE DOWNLOAD! Rav Avigdor Miller's Hagaddah: The Making of a Nation

18/4/2019

2 Comments

I just found out that Rav Miller's Hagaddah: The Making of a Nation, is available as a free PDF for everyone here:
https://torasavigdor.org/free-books/

Thank you very much to Toras Avigdor for their dedication to spreading Rav Avigdor Miller's Torah, and also for letting me know about the free Hagaddah.

Chag kasher v'sameach to everyone!

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Looking for a Weekly Dose of Good Sense, Insight, and Torah Hashkafah?

18/4/2019

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Recently, someone forwarded a short parsha newsletter to me.

It included some very practical life advice connected to the parsha, then featured a family-oriented Q&A at the end.

You might have heard of its author, Rabbi Shimon Gruen, because he also gives talks on Torahanytime.com. (Actually, I only realized after viewing his website that I'd watched a couple of shiurim of his on Torahanytime.com and found his shiur to be full of good sense, insight, and compassion. Very nice, indeed.)

Anyway, I found the newsletter content very "real" and the advice & mussar displayed uncommon perceptiveness, and I also felt the design and color-scheme of the newsletter very pleasant & readable.

To manually subscribe to his newsletter, send an email to this address:
parshalessons@lehair.org

For what it's worth, I'm unusually happy and impressed with his parsha newsletter. (And I generally avoid subscribing to things. But this newsletter is really well-done & not overwhelming.)

Also, this is Rabbi Gruen's website:
http://www.lehair.org/

(CORRECTION 19/4: Leha'ir mean "to illuminate" in English. As Rabbi Gruen says, his slogan is "to illuminate with clarity and understanding.")

No, I was not asked to blog about Rabbi Gruen or his website, but it's good Torah hashkafah I think others will find refreshing and beneficial.

If you want to check out a sample before you sign up, here's the Pesach issue:

Torah Lessons for the Home by Rabbi Shimon Gruen

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The Supremely Victorious Seed

17/4/2019

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Here is an inspiring and encouraging message from Rav Avigdor Miller on Pesach, Tape #116:

In downtown Manhattan, if they wouldn’t interfere, then in a short time you’d be amazed, because the streets would become jungles.

All you need is a crack in the sidewalk; a crack between the sidewalk and the paving of the street; and a seed blows in and lodges there.

And the seed has the power of breaking macadam.

It breaks concrete and in the course of time, it becomes a forest.

It’s amazing what HaKadosh Baruch Hu’s creatures can do. And grass and trees would be growing on Broadway and Times Square. And it wouldn’t be such a bad thing at that. I think it would be an improvement.

But that’s how Hakadosh Baruch works.

And today, a green jungle covers all of Central America, where once the great empire of the Incas had roads and flourishing cities.

Just think: A grass seed potentially has the power of breaking concrete.

Simply by its innate God-given nature to grow, to thrive and flourish, a seed has the potential to overwhelm and conquer things much stronger and gargantuan.

Just like the Jewish neshamah.

Rav Miller's Hagaddah

You can access the most up-to-date transcriptions of Rav Miller's Pesach lectures and his booklets HERE.

For those in the Flatbush or Lakewood areas, they printed a few hundred more copies of Rav Miller's Haggadah, which you can purchase for $5 at the following locations:

Flatbush: Rabbi Landau's Shul
Flatbush: 860 E.12th Street
Lakewood: Satmar Shul
Lakewood: 259 Chestnut Street

Toras Avigdor subscribers received a free PDF of Rav Miller's Haggadah.
(It seems to be around 240 pages.)

Chag kasher v'sameach - Wishing you all a kosher and joyous Pesach.

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What Happens When the Bar Drops So Low

17/4/2019

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Needless to say, my personal views fall on the side of the right-wing conservative camp, in both Eretz Yisrael & America.

But because the bar of decency and good values has been pushed so far down in America, conservatives end up catering to that level, even when better values and a higher level of decency are what people really need.

Conservatism Not Quite Up to Par

For example, when it comes to premarital hanky-panky, conservatives focus almost solely on preventing pregnancy rather than extolling the virtues of waiting for marriage.

(Yes, there are conservatives like Ben Shapiro extolling the virtues of pre-marital abstinence, but the discussion still focuses more on pregnancy-prevention.)

In addition to pregnancy-prevention, conservatives speak a lot about alternatives to abortion. It has never been easier to be an unwed single mother than it is today (which has its upsides and downsides) and adoption is also an option.

But there are problems with both unwed single motherhood (and unwed motherhood in general) and yes, there are problems with adoption. Yet while some conservatives do discuss the importance of marriage before motherhood (including the value of even shotgun weddings), the downsides of adoption are ignored, presumably because of the fear of a potential mother choosing abortion in order to supposedly “save” herself and her unborn child potential suffering.

Furthermore, many conservative female pundits have taken on dressing like bimbos (when all men still need to wear full suits and ties in order to be taken seriously as professionals), presumably to burst the stereotype of the staid religious conservative woman. To my mind, there’s a happy medium of looking classy and stylish without looking like a cocktail waitress, but despite the intelligence and integrity of a lot of these women, they obviously disagree.

Conservatives are having the Wrong Discussion

Finally, this whole thing with Joe Biden is just weird.

Now, many of you women reading this have been out in the professional environment. You’ve worked with men.

How acceptable or common was it for a male co-worker to stand behind you, put his hands on your shoulders and start rooting through your hair like a hog in search of truffles?

It’s wasn't! And it's not! And we all know that.

For those of you guys were not shomer negiah at some point in your life, how many of you pawed your female colleagues and snorted her hair — and did so in a high-level professional situation, like during White House ceremonies?

None of you! (Probably.)

It’s not normal behavior and we all know this.

And yet the conservative media focuses on how this is worse than Trump’s improprieties (to point out Leftist hypocrisy) and how the women didn’t seem to enjoy it and because they were in a situation with important dignitaries and on camera, didn’t feel like they could protest in any way.

Okay, these are good points.

But the main point is that HE SHOULDN’T BE DOING IT AT ALL.

ESPECIALLY to the little girls who are so obviously uncomfortable with his pawing and whose parents either don’t or won’t put a stop to it when they are standing right there (presumably, once again, because of the situation and the cameras).

And his whole obviously fake & lying “excuse” of just being a warm, friendly guy — why don’t we see him pawing male staff members, if he is such a warm and naturally touchy-feely dude?

How come he’s not snorting through THEIR hair?

And why is the deciding factor whether the women like it or not?

Decency Works Both Ways

Yes, it’s important to note that the women (and the young girls for that matter) DON’T seem to like it at all.

But let’s also look at it this way:

Let’s say that you’re a guy at a high-level professional government conference or ceremony, which is being filmed nationwide. Now let’s say one of your female colleagues whispers to you something like, “Hey, could you please start vacuuming my hair with your nose and pawing my shoulders?”

Would you do it?

Most likely not.

Why?

Because it’s REALLY weird and inappropriate to do something like that!

It just IS.

Torah Hashkafah Sets the Standard

The above conservative fail (or partial fail, if you will) highlights one of the many brain-straightening aspects of Judaism.

Halacha forbids Jewish men from looking at women, even if she wants to be looked at.

Halacha forbids Jewish men from touching women, even if the woman demands to be touched.

It’s just plain forbidden.

It’s not appropriate. It’s not allowed.

And while the halacha isn’t exactly the same for non-Jews, it’s suffice to say that throughout history and in the vast majority of cultures including and up until today, pawing women and rummaging through their hair with one’s nose was considered inappropriate (at best—I’d like to see someone try this in Saudi Arabia).

Anyway, the point is one of PERSONAL responsibility and PERSONAL decency, regardless of what the other person is doing or saying.

The other person’s response shouldn’t necessarily be the deciding factor for common decency.

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<<Previous

UPDATED: Mi K'Amcha Yisrael? - Who is Like Your Nation Yisrael?

On the Profound Loss of the Kaliver Rebbe, Rav Menachem Mendel Taub ztz"l

Rav Avigdor Miller on The Secret to Happiness (courtesy of Toras Avigdor)

Why Ignoring Pain isn't Really Emuna

Pesach Posts

What If the Criticism & Demands Just Don't Stop?

Digging Down to the Root Issue

FREE DOWNLOAD! Rav Avigdor Miller's Hagaddah: The Making of a Nation

Looking for a Weekly Dose of Good Sense, Insight, and Torah Hashkafah?

The Supremely Victorious Seed

Rav Miller's Hagaddah

What Happens When the Bar Drops So Low

Conservatism Not Quite Up to Par

Conservatives are having the Wrong Discussion

Decency Works Both Ways

Torah Hashkafah Sets the Standard

Myrtle Rising

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