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The Kli Yakar - Parshat Korach

30/6/2016

This week's Kli Yakar is dedicated l'ilui the pure neshamah of Hallel Yaffa bat Rina v'Amichai, the innocent 13-year-old girl who was savagely murdered as she slept in her bed in Kiryat Arba this past Thursday morning, 24 Sivan 5776/2016. Hashem yinkom damah.

"And they rose before Moshe with 250 men from Bnei Yisrael, princes of the congregation, representatives of the assembly, men of repute." (16:2)

וַיָּקֻמוּ לִפְנֵי משֶׁה וַאֲנָשִׁים מִבְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל חֲמִשִּׁים וּמָאתָיִם נְשִׂיאֵי עֵדָה קְרִאֵי מוֹעֵד אַנְשֵׁי שֵׁם

This week, the Kli Yakar makes a very strong statement about someone who is haughty, arrogant, or prideful.

The institution of marriage is a special type of authority.

Beresheit states that the husband shall "rule" over the wife, which is supposed to produce an authority of love, halachic guidance, and protection.

As a result, this authority actually possesses more halachic obligations for the husband toward his wife than it does for the wife toward the husband.

Furthermore, the unity of a Jewish marriage is one permeated with a kedushah (holiness) so powerful that true shalom between the couple can cause the very Shechinah to rest upon their home.

Yet the arrogant person doesn't care a whit.

As the Kli Yakar states:

The haughty person [המתגאה] cannot endure even this authority, in which she [the wife] is under the hand of someone else.

Which is exactly how a narcissist sees a married woman: a woman who merely lives with "someone else."

He doesn't see her as belonging to her husband. He has no respect for the holy institution of marriage. As far as the narcissistic person is concerned, the husband is just "someone else."

And the narcissist feels he has every right to a woman just by virtue of the fact that he wants her, married or not.

Shining a Light in the Darkness

28/6/2016

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It can be very hard to know exactly what people want or need.

Much of sensitivity has to do with how well you know the person.

When we get uncomfortable or feel like we're being insensitive, it's normal to want to withdraw or fall silent or change the subject.

But sometimes, the behavior we think is insensitive isn't insensitive at all.

And our embarrassed reaction is the less-than-ideal behavior.

It's hard to always know because it varies from individual to individual, so it's impossible to get it right every time.

For example, a friend of mine told me of a blind man she knew (who'd fallen blind as a young child, so he knew what things looked like, colors, etc.). While interacting with him, people would forget he was blind and make comments like, "Oh, look at that! Isn't that just the most beautiful sunset?"

Then they'd realize their mistake and quickly change the subject.

But the blind man told my friend, "I know they mean well and all that, but every time something like this happens, I always feel like saying, 'Really? Could you describe it for me? Because I sure would like to see it, too!' "

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The Kli Yakar - Parshat Shelach

23/6/2016

In this week's parsha:

Why Moshe Rabbeinu should have sent female spies
How Hashem wants us to be in a state of love and joy all the time
The life-transforming power of tzitzit

Female Spies vs Male Spies

שלח לך אנשים

"Send out for yourself men...." (13:2)

Eretz Yisrael according to Sefer Yehoshua Courtesy of "Janz" @ Wikipedia

The Kli Yakar has several interesting insights into this verse.
We'll just look at two of them.

He notes that it specifies anashim—"men."

(And yes, anashim can also mean "people." But technically, anashim is the plural of ish—man. "People" can be referred to as bnei Adam.)

Furthermore, the sending of the Spies is written immediately after Miriam was struck with tzarat from her well-intentioned albeit wrong lashon hara.

The Kli Yakar starts off by saying:

....the text is telling you that lashon hara is more common among women than among men because "ten parts of speech descended into the world; women took nine" (Kiddushin 49b).

And because women engage in copious idle conversation [stam nashim patpaniot dabraniot], therefore the speech depended on Miriam because she started this [spiritual] breakdown and Aharon was superfluous to her [in his participation with Miriam's sin].

Therefore, He said, "Send out for yourself men" who don't possess the way of women and won't be like Miriam who spoke lashon hara, but actual men who aren't habituated to speaking lashon hara.

And there you have some flaming mussar for women.

(As it says in Pirkei Avot 2 that the words of the wise men can be like burning coals, the sting of a scorpion, and the bite of a fox, etc.)

But then the Kli Yakar "flames" men:

Another reason why He specified men is because Chazal said ( ילקוט רמז תשעג):
The men hated the Land and said, "We’ll appoint a leader and return to Egypt"
(Bamidbar 14:4).

But the women cherished the Land and said, "Give us a possession!" (Bamidbar 27:4).

And therefore, the Holy One Blessed Be He said, "In My Opinion, being that I see the future, it would have been better to send women who cherish the Land because they won't speak in condemnation of it.

"But to you, in your opinion, being that you held that they [the men] were kosher and you held that the Land was beloved to them, you sent men.

"And that's it: 'Send out for yourself'—for in your opinion—men [שלח לך לדעתך אנשים].
But according to My Opinion, it would have been better to send women...."

This issue of Jewish men—including very elevated men—"hating" Eretz Yisrael is a concept that seems, quite frankly, hard to see and hard to understand.

(Also, "hate" is such a strong word. But that is the word used by the Yalkut and the Kli Yakar: שונאים.)

Especially today, we see Jewish males sacrificing, undergoing imprisonment and torture, and even dying in order to hold on to Eretz Yisrael.

Yet the Kli Yakar brings it up again in Parshat Pinchas and apparently it is in the Yalkut (which I don't have access to). Those are pretty solid sources.

Is Hashem giving today's men a second chance to rectify their original "hatred" in much the same way He gives women the chance to rectify Chava's sin by candle-lighting?

Of course, I don't know. But how else to explain the dichotomy between what the sources said about Jewish men then and the tremendous self-sacrifice on behalf of Jewish men today for Eretz Yisrael?

This is just an assumption and I'm definitely open to being corrected. So feel free....

The Real Power of Love

ועשו להם ציצית

And they shall make for themselves tzitzit.... (15:38)

Tzitzit with the thread of techeilet, courtesy of Tomer (also known as "TShilo12")

The powerful spiritual beauty of the mitzvah of tzitzit is something that the Kli Yakar emphasizes again and again.

This verse is famous for appearing in the third paragraph of the Kriyat Shema, a prayer said several times a day.

Minimally, Kriyat Shema should be said twice:

once in the morning
once right before going to sleep, as part of the Bedtime Prayer

Here, the Kli Yakar discusses how doing a mitzvah with technical perfection isn't the end of it:

....because one who acts out of love and serves Hashem in a state of joy is greater than he who fears God because he enjoys from the toil of his hands in Torah as Chazal said (Brachot 8a): "For he who acts with joy out of love enjoys from the actual toil."

Yet again, this is proof that Hashem wants us to enjoy every moment of life.

The Kli Yakar repeats a lot of what he already said about tzitzit in Parshat Titzaveh and adds even more beautiful thoughts:

....from amidst the love, one will come to profound intimacy [deveikut] with the Shechinah, the place of the sculpting of the soul, because each person who fears [automatically] distances from that which he fears.

But one who loves always strives to become intimate [l'dabek] with that which is beloved to him because in that way, he will come to his reward.

It is apparent that this love is the purpose of success because through that, one merits intimacy with the Throne of Glory [Kisei Hakavod].

By peering and gazing at the sky, he will recall the Kisei Hakavod via the similarity in colors [i.e., the thread of techeilet].

Nice!

And what is the significance regarding the number of knots and strings in tzitzit?

And that is the reason for 8 strings and 5 knots; it all adds up to 13 which is the gematria of LOVE - אהבה.

(And yes, my edition does bold-face this word.)

And to continue on this theme of love, the Kli Yakar explains:

And there is one more mitzvah that recalls all the mitzvot.

And that is: "You shall love to your neighbor as yourself" (Vayikra 19:18).

And if so, one thread can bring a person to his ultimate purpose, as is instructed by the term "techeilet."

And this is a secret from the secrets of the Torah.

It's amazing what this routine and almost unnoticed mitzvah can do.

Tzitzit can seem like just part of "the uniform."

But really, it has an incredible power all its own.

Tzitzit are the power of love.

Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim of Luntschitz (1550-1619) lived in Bohemia (which is today Poland and Czechoslovakia).
He served as rabbi and dayan and wrote several books, the most well-known being his commentary on the Chumash known as the Kli Yakar.
This is my own translation and any errors are also mine.

How to Avoid Being a Victim of Mind Control

22/6/2016

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Note: Some people prefer a beefy topic presented in several short posts split up into multiple parts. And some prefer one long post that is sectioned up for comfortable reading. I don't know the majority preference, so I just organized this long post with lots of headings, bullets, pictures, and section dividers for easier reading. I hope it works for you.

The Importance of Identifying Signs of Mind Control

Is this just another oogey-boogey article on the evils of modern society with no real solutions and no actual result other than to scare or depress people? (Nope!)

Awareness helps protect you from falling under mind control and can help you get out of it (by connecting directly to Hashem in your own Divinely imbued unique way).

We've all see frum people who connect to a frum lifestyle as a cult and not as the beautiful spiritual system that it is—a system which enables you to fulfill the mission Hashem put you here for in the first place.

(Maybe you've even done it yourself—I know I did at one point.)

The unwavering adherence to obviously irrational, unproven, inconsistent, or just plain wrong beliefs within general Western society can only be the result of mind control.

The attraction to avodah zara systems like yoga by otherwise sincere and intelligent frum people or Buddhism by secular Jews indicates the influence of mind control (i.e., people leaving one mind-control system for another).

Even positive behaviors, like healthy eating, are often done in a mind-control way.

For comparison, the Kli Yakar discusses here about how to give the benefit of the doubt in an authentically Torah way and not the sometimes harmful manner encouraged by frum American idealists.

Hava haAharona gives several examples here of individuals searching for an identity in a way that clearly shows people chafing under mind control, but who merely choose another cult to join instead of liberating their minds completely.

When you realize that someone is under mind control, it is easier to relate to them with the necessary combination of compassion, self-protection, and objectivity.

It is also a hopeful outlook because you can see how the real person underneath is good and full of wonderful potential, and able to express their true self if they could just free themselves from "the cult."

This is an alternative to seeing someone as mentally ill or Erev Rav or personality disordered or dysfunctional or addicted or bad, etc.

But now for the main question:
Why do so many people—even frum people—behave as if under mind control?

|You can’t resist (or heal from) what you don’t see.

Even among frum communities, you see people getting sucked in by certain aspects of mind control from their surrounding Galut society. Because they are immersed in that society and presented a form of Yiddishkeit based on that society, it's hard to see what's "behind the curtain."

The other issue is that people who grew up in secular Western society are used to mind control; it feels “right.”

Studies show that people who leave a situation of mind control (whether it be a cult or an abusive relationship or a dysfunctional family) are vulnerable toward falling into another situation of mind control (sources at end of post).

For example:

A person leaving a cult is more likely to end up in an abusive relationship or workplace.

A person from a dysfunctional family or after a recent break-up from an abusive relationship is more susceptible to the advances of a cult.

Due to having spent an entire life under mind control within Western society (and perhaps within a religious cult), baalei teshuvah, converts, and bnai Noach are at risk for choosing an emotionally unhealthy rav or rebbetzin.

Most people need to learn to relate to God—and if you're Jewish, also to Judaism—in an authentically Jewish way and not in a way based on Western mind control.

Just as one example:
When Tova Mordechai (To Play with Fire: One Woman's Remarkable Odyssey) describes her move from Raymond Webster's Christian cult to Torah Judaism, this wonderful Jewish woman unconsciously took the cult-instilled habits with her: denying her own needs, pleasing others at all costs, and operating at full-speed all the time.

As she herself says:

"I was still running on Raymond Webster's gas." (pg. 429)

Meaning, her inner fuel and compass were still being run by the cult from her former life.

Even the cult's value system unintentionally infiltrated her Jewish values at first.

"I had no idea that having a baby was what God wanted from me....I was ignorant and heavily brainwashed. This was not Raymond Webster's vision. Children were a hindrance to God's call on a person's life. They took up time, energy, and resources and did not give in return. And so, about two weeks after giving birth to our first child, I was back at work....it was simply because I needed to work in order to be acceptable before God." (pg. 424)

This also explains why many mind-control systems discourage child-bearing. Communism (after its initial stage), modern Western society, the celibate aspects of Christianity, Far Eastern religions, etc., all consider parenthood as either a lower form of spiritual service (lower than abstinence) and as something that should be limited in order to better serve their society.

Later, when Tova becomes overwhelmed and enraged from the lack of vitality (which had been drained by the cult), the grueling transformation from a Christian hyper-zombie to a fully Orthodox Jew, and then the cultural adjustment to Israeli life along with the normal adjustments to marriage and becoming a mother, Tova says:

"I was deeply exhausted: body, soul and mind....I should have spoken up. I should have discussed the situation with my husband. I could have done many things, but I was too well-trained by Raymond Webster. Mine was just to do or die." (pg. 429)

|It’s much easier to judge others favorably and intelligently when you realize you are basically dealing with a victim of some form mind control.
For a long time, I researched personality disorders, mental illness, spiritual disorders (Erev Rav, etc.) etc. in search of the following things:

an understanding of what was going around me
behaviors or hashkafot I myself had gotten sucked into, even though they went against what I knew to be right.
something in modern English terms that describes what Chazal has already noted.

Personality disorders or mental illness or bad middot or Erev Rav, for example, did not fully explain what I was seeing. For example:

good, intelligent people making consistently bad decisions
decent people with sincere intentions deteriorating into dysfunctional states.
people who were sincerely struggling and desperately seemed to want help, who also who demonstrated "windows of sanity” and compassion and self-awareness, and couldn't be written off as personality disordered, bipolar, schizophrenic, Erev Rav, addicted, etc.
my own experience of feeling manipulated or treated as hopeless or worthless by "rabbis" or "rebbetzins"—and seeing others go through the same thing

The above really don’t line up with personality disorders or mental illness or Erev Rav, even though such people may otherwise fit most of the checklist temporarily while they remain in a state of mind control.

Also, personality disorders are mostly impossible to cure. They are people to whom you really can't give the benefit of the doubt as their intentions are always, well, narcissistic (particularly malignant narcissists & covert aggressives who consciously mean to hurt you).

Labels like "personality disorder" or "mentally ill" or "Erev rav" or "nebbuch" ("Just feel sorry for them!") or "addict" also didn’t fit as I saw some seemingly personality disordered people come out of it and even develop into special spiritual people—without therapy, I might add.

Furthermore, there was definitely a logic to people's dysfunctional reactions—which again, is much more characteristic of how people respond while oppressed in a cult.

|You can deal with people (including doing teshuvah on yourself) more effectively when you relate to them as a victim of some form mind control.

Following mainstream halacha and classic mussar not only prevents mind control, but actually rescues people from a state of mind control. But only by really following it, and not just doing only whatever your community or group gives lip service to or emphasizes.

Much of the halachic and mussar literature regarding practical action and one's attitude toward people behaving dysfunctionally (ie. committing transgressions) is excellent guidance on how to deal with someone in a cult or under mind control.

The real person in all their God-given glory is still there underneath the mind control and CAN be accessed, but it takes patience and prayer.

|Yes, there ARE Erev Rav, Narcissists, Sociopaths, Mental Illnesses, Addicts, etc. However...
...however, when I really looked into things, I was seeing very little of what could be defined that way; such behavior seemed mostly characteristic of mind control.

Even people who behave in a consistently dysfunctional manner often do so in a way that is similar one under mind control, and not as a classic Narcissist, sociopath, manic-depressive, Erev Rav, addict, etc.

There is no doubt in my mind that Western society has become one big cult.

This post focuses on America because:

Being an American, I know the more about it than I do about, say, England or Australia.
American society and culture is so well-known.
Via the entertainment industry in all its forms (books, movies, TV, etc.), America has managed to spread its new cultural mores throughout the world more than any other culture.

And American-style mind control is also evident in all other Western cultures, including Israel (although Israel’s religious population gives some pushback).

Before this post goes into an examination of Western mind control, let’s skip to a glimpse of what it’s like to leave a cult.
________________

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LEAVE A CULT?

Psychotherapist Jim Moyers says:
“Ex-believers may feel doubly misunderstood and isolated. Family and friends who remain in the group, even when not overtly rejecting a former member, are likely to have limited tolerance for the views of someone who has repudiated beliefs that they continue to hold sacred.”

This very much describes the situation of many baalei teshuvah, converts, and bnai Noach. In fact, regular people who make only one change after becoming fully informed, such as switching from a pro-abortion position to a pro-life position, experience rejection and limited tolerance from Leftist/Liberal family and friends.

“Authoritarian groups undermine trust in one’s own judgment, and the former member may have a great deal of difficulty in knowing how to regard his/her experience of reality when it is no longer defined and regulated by the group’s teachings. Many feel a sense of despair in being unable to recapture the certainty that came with unquestioning faith in ‘sure and certain’ dogma.”

And so, the desperation of many baalei teshuvah to cling to a rav and/or rebbetzin for advice and non-halachic guidance.
(Note: People, especially the newly frum, need basic halachic guidance. But advice-based non-halachic guidance? That is a very tricky and complex minefield.)

“Having been well-trained in meeting demands that s/he conform to group expectations, the former believer may be very adept at unconsciously meeting the perceived expectations of others.”

This is where the danger lies.

While emuna-based observance of Torah is NOT like that, it is easy to run into people who relate to Judaism in a cult-like fashion and innocently encourage others to do the same.

Remember: Most cult members are recruited by fellow victims who sincerely believe that they are enlightened—and not brainwashed—and that their cult’s doctrine is The Right Way.

Unfortunately, well-meaning kiruv programs and chinuch classes can unintentionally adapt some mind control techniques (without actually fulfilling all cult criteria) in the misguided assumption that this is desired or permitted by halacha. It doesn’t make them an actual cult, but it can lead to effects similar to that of cults, especially on vulnerable people.

Yet anyone who makes a sincere and continuous effort to connect with Hashem via speaking to Hashem, making a self-accounting via honest self-introspection, and adherence to halacha will not fall prey to mind control tactics AND if already under mind control, such a person will be able to free him or herself from the mind control.

As you read through this post (organized according to the BITE model), you may notice that cultist mind control is also the same dynamic you’ve seen in abusive relationships, dysfunctional families, personality disorders, and toxic work environments.

Yes, it’s all basically the same.

For example, a cult forces sleep deprivation upon its adherents.

And toxic work environments and abusive spouses do the same.

The withdrawal and recovery are also basically the same process.

So what are facets of mind control used by cults and modern society?

BEHAVIORAL CONTROL

To at least some degree, cults control what people eat, watch, spend their money on, what they wear, think, and so forth.

|Food
It is very hard to keep genetically modified corn products, hormones, sugar, chemicals, fluoride, and food additives out of your diet. VERY hard. It’s almost impossible. This is despite clear evidence that some of the above is actually harmful and indicative evidence that the rest of it might be harmful to both your physical health and your mental health.

|TV and Movies
TV programming and movies are always based on secular liberal, Leftist values.

Always.

Even the occasional piece which seems to present a conservative ideal will still be surrounded by lots of secular Leftist propaganda.

For example, the rare anti-abortion theme will still have a pro-same-gender marriage theme and pro-premarital intimacy theme.

Or a pro-belief-in-God piece will be soaked with rampant violence or licentious behavior.

I remember a very popular TV show in which not wanting to drink chocolate milk from a straw covered with the saliva of a boy diagnosed with AIDS was presented as the callous act of an ignorant fraidy cat.

Yet what is wrong with wanting to take extra precautions against a disease that is incurable and 100% fatal? No way! the episode implied. That’s mean!

|Books, Newspapers, and Magazines
The above is also true of books.

And while I have obviously not read every single book published in my lifetime (the Seventies until now), I can say that I have never read a mainstream best seller in any genre that was anti-same-gender marriage or pro-life or anti-premarital intimacy, etc.

Have you?

For example, if atheists are mentioned, it is always in a neutral or positive way. Atheists are never presented the way that say, religious Christians are often presented (i.e. hypocritical buffoons or abusive manipulators AND in a way that connects to their belief system).
_____________
In fact, same-gender relationships are the big thing right now.

Even sites and organizations dedicated to children’s literature discuss the importance of writing characters with same-gender parents, pushing books with titles like Lisa has Two Daddies.

Editors and literary agents actively seek such books and the Wix website-builder has a photo of two twentysomething women for their Wedding site template with the blurb: “Zoe and Amelia are getting married!”

Or on their template for wedding invitations, the header “Keith and Aaron” floats above the heads of two geeky-looking guys in tuxedos.

Twitter’s welcome slideshow features one male soccer player cuddling his head against another male soccer player and kissing his cheek. Because, of course, male sports pros tend to be so cuddly and nurturing. It must be all that testosterone!

There is an obvious agenda to make same-gender marriage and families headed by two mommies or two daddies as the norm, even though statistics just don’t support that.
(If under 3.5% of the population is attracted to its own gender, how many families or weddings do you think they produce? And how many children really grow up with two parents of the same gender?)
_________________
On the other hand, statistics show that unwed motherhood is extremely common.

(This is despite the fact that while divorce may not be avoidable, unwed motherhood is usually preventable.)

Really, based on statistical need alone, children’s book publishers should focus on flooding the market with books like, Oliver has One Mommy along with Sporadic Men who Temporarily Come to Live with Mommy or Isabella has One Mommy and Only God Knows Who Her Daddy Is.

All joking aside, figuring in the amount of divorced parents and unwed parents, many children are not living with both parents and may even have no father-figure at all. Children's literature only reflects this to a slight extent, and this topic not pursued by publishers nearly as much as same-gender subjects are.

In fact, there are so many other issues that are so much more common for children than 2 parents of the same gender: eating disorders, ADHD, taking meds, family members with mental illness or personality disorders, domestic violence, relationship violence, cyberbullying, bullying in general...

So why the huge focus on this 3.5% (or less)?
__________________
Or, on a completely different topic, how about newspaper headlines that describe a terror attack as “Israeli gunman shoots Palestinian driver”—remember that one?

I could go on and on, but you probably have your own examples.

|Fashion
Styles come and go and you know what’s in style just by looking at what the masses are wearing. And even people who rebel against the mainstream styles end up conforming to the set styles of the “rebel” group (like punk and goth and “grunge”).

Depending on your social group, not conforming enough to the latest style can label you as “tacky” “out of it” “a loser” “a throwback” and so on. And that’s not to mention the sarcastic comments and questions thrown your way, either to your face or via Twitter.

For around 40 years now, Western fashion has objectified people’s bodies while telling them they are liberating them. Such fashion pressures people—particularly women—to dress in ways which are time-consuming, physically uncomfortable—even painful, emotionally uncomfortable, and demeaning.

Some frum communities have been successful in sheltering themselves against the influence of modern styles, but most do imitate the styles to some degree, even if those styles are clearly forbidden by halacha.

|Speech
The accent common to California’s San Fernando Valley in the Eighties (which later became known as “the Valley Girl accent”) has become the de-facto style of speech for most Americans under the age of 50. It is one of the least intelligent-sounding ways of speaking, partly because the voice goes up at the end (including the end of a phrase, and not just the end of a sentence), which makes it sound like the speaker is in a constant state of uncertainty.

For example:
“Well, my personal feel-ing? is that a fetus at 8 weeks is just a clump of tis-sue? And you pointing out that, like, it has a heartbeat? And elbows? And a nose that can be seen in an ultrasound? just makes me feel bad? And I just think that you are….like…sooo—well, I don’t know, but that you hold such a crazy opinion? is very disturbing for me personally.”

Its higher pitch also gives it a more feminine inflection, making men sound particularly silly when they speak this way.

|Rewards & Punishments Used to Modify Behavior
Social media has been a powerful tool for this.

I think we all know by now that the label “racist” can end someone’s career, even if they aren’t racist and never said anything racist.

Just disagreeing with any of Obama’s policies is considered racist.

Speaking from personal experience, you cannot express (with even the greatest amount of grace and understanding) any opinion that diverges in any way with the standard liberal Western opinion—unless you are willing to suffer scorn, mockery, hostility, and hatred, either passive-aggressively or outright.

You must remain silent in the face of all their irrational and immoral comments—or suffer the consequences.

And that is just in interpersonal relationships on the individual level, let alone the widespread harassment prominent figures undergo if they dare cross the PC Line.

On the other hand, if you parrot their garbage, you are considered “intelligent” and “open-minded” and “educated.”
_____________________

INFORMATION CONTROL

Until the advent of the Internet, there was no way for the average person to get enough information to cultivate an informed opinion about any given issue.

Yet even now, the mainstream media maintains a chokehold on what they want you to know and what they don’t want you to know.

With the Obama candidacy, it was blatantly obvious that every news network and every mainstream newspaper desperately wanted Obama in the White House.

As blatant as their adoration of Obama was, the media's support of Hillary Clinton was even more appalling. She actually has a well-documented, extremely public, and ugly record that shows her to be a sociopath at worst and a malignant narcissist at best. Yet mainstream media consistently portrays her in the best possible light.

Rationally speaking, the fact that either side of the political aisle uncritically supports Barak Obama or Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump, despite the obvious hypocrisy and lying they all have consistently engaged in, shows how low (and braindead) America has sunk.

Generally, interviews and talk shows cherry-pick their guests, then manipulate their discussions and edit their tapes to show Left-leaning views in the best light and Right-leaning views in the worst light.

The mainstream coverage of Israel is appalling as endless examples show.

|Lies
Cults outright lie.

One of the most famous lies in recent history is the “Hands up, don’t shoot” lie and the rose-tinted characterization of violent thug Mike Brown, who was thankfully shot to death by a skilled police officer before Mikey could victimize anymore innocent people.

The Left directly lies and misrepresent anything about Israel and often do the same regarding frum Jews.

Here are more lies:

“If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor."
"If you like your health plan, you’ll be able to keep your health plan.”
“Obama has been the best American president for Israel.”
"Land for peace!"

|No Forgiveness or Tikkun

People’s pasts (or past tweets and emails) are dug up and scrutinized.

You aren’t allowed to change.

The ugly side of yourself that peeped out during a traumatic incident or while caught up in the immaturity of childhood or adolescence is considered the real you, never to be forgotten.

As a white person, you must always be compensating black people for the slavery that ended 151 years ago. Even if no one in your family was ever a slave owner (because maybe your family only arrived after the Civil War). Even if the black person never had ancestors who were slaves or if they did, they were slaves to other black people or owned slaves themselves (as several black Southerners did back then and in Africa today, still do).

You can never be sorry enough and can never stop atoning for your “sin,” no matter how much you’ve actually changed and what you’ve done to rectify things.
_______________

Thought Control

The group’s doctrine is truth.

They advocate their own “sacred science.” One of the most obvious and murderous examples of this was eugenics during the Nazi Era.

But pseudo-science flourishes in American culture, too.

|Sacred Science
The cult-group’s beliefs are the ultimate unquestionable truth, despite clear scientific evidence to the contrary:

Throughout its first trimester, an unborn baby is “just a clump of tissue,” despite widely available photographs and scientific evidence to the contrary.

Global warming is happening right now, is manmade, is a threat, is stoppable, and is reversible.

Same-gender attraction is genetically predetermined, and never influenced by one’s environment, and it's also completely irreversible.

Mental states like depression, bi-polar disorder, personality disorders, paranoia, and ADD/HD are "just" issues of body chemistry and/or genetic predisposition in which environment, nutrition, upbringing, and traumatic experiences have very little or no influence.

All white males possess something called “privilege,” which they must constantly “check” without fail.

Hamas is just a group of freedom-fighting idealists.

Muslims worldwide either tolerate, support, or actively engage in things like suicide bombings, child “marriage,” genocide, “honor” killings, FGM, domestic violence, the conquering of better nations, hand-amputations for thieves, slavery, Jew-hatred, oppressive fascist regimes, and the like only because they have not received enough compassion, understanding, and education.

If you give the above Muslims compassion, understanding, and education, they will immediately realize the wrong of their ways and become just like you—whoever “you” are.

Hillary Clinton is “pro-woman” and cares about anyone other than herself.

Donald Trump is pro-life, pro-traditional marriage, and a religious man.

Socialism is a great equalizer and the answer to society’s ills.

Children don’t need fathers.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Women are only good for one thing.

|Buzzwords
This is a little bit trickier to define because every society, profession, and culture naturally has its own jargon. But there is a difference between using jargon for convenience (like saying “ICU” instead of “intensive care unit” or “DA” instead of “district attorney”) or because it expresses your thoughts more clearly and accurately than any other term possibly could (like saying “davka” or “stam” or “geshmak” or "gevaldig").

On the other hand, buzzwords whitewash something bad or demonize something good or neutral.

In short, buzzwords are often created with ulterior motives in mind.

Here are some examples of buzz words:

Baby-daddy (makes impregnating without marrying sound cute)
Carbon footprint
The n-word
Transgendered male
Undocumented immigrants
Micro-aggressions
Safe spaces
Diversity
The war on women
Islamophobe

Just as an example of how buzzwords work:
“Diversity” technically means “diverse.”

But colloquially, it refers to culture or race (and sometimes to gender or orientation), and not political stance or intellectual opinion or anything else. And it doesn’t mean “diverse” at all since any Liberal who demands diversity only intends to expand the non-white population of a particular campus, company, or city.

For example, no one is anxious about the dearth of straight white males majoring in Women’s Studies.

No one is concerned that not enough Canadians or Swedes or Thais are immigrating to America.

|Black-and-White Thinking and One Sacred Version of Reality
Similar to sacred science, here are examples of “sacred reality” and black-and-white thinking:

Only white people can be racists.

Anyone who dislikes Obama’s policies, values, or taste in ties is a racist.

Claiming that a statistic deemed racist is, in fact, not racist is actually a sign of racism.

Any man who finds it difficult to take seriously or to concentrate around a professional woman dressed like a particularly risqué cocktail waitress when all her male colleagues are dressed in 2-piece suits and neck-strangling ties with shirts buttoned up to their chin (even if their neck is too short to carry it off elegantly, making them look like Mr. Potatohead) is a weak-minded pervert and a misogynist who needs to “just get over it” and “get with the times.”

Any woman who feels the same as the man in the above example is just being “catty” because she is just “so jealous.”

Not believing in evolution is exactly the same as not believing in math.

|Encouraging only “Proper” Ideas and Positive Thoughts

Girls are permitted (or even obligated) to profess a desire to be a member of a certified and paid profession like: nannies, neonatal nurses or doctors, preschool teachers, chefs, hotel housekeeping supervisors, or to earn a degree in Early Childhood Education when they grow up. Yet they may NEVER NEVER EVER declare being a wife and mother as their main career goal. NEVER. That is bad. Such a girl is considered to suffer from a warped and poor self-image, and she probably needs therapy. Only official careers are acceptable goals.

From sixth grade and onward, it is okay to engage in physical intimacy of any kind with anyone of any age (even if there is a significant age difference that may indicate exploitation, like a 14-year-old girl with a 22-year-old guy) and with an unlimited number of partners—as long as birth control is used. If either partner is particularly free with themselves or they only just met, then the birth control should be of the kind that lessens the spread of unsavory diseases.

This is called “being responsible.”

However, if anyone under the age of 25 indicates a desire to do something that actually signifies and facilitates genuinely responsible and mature behavior, such as the desire to enter into a monogamous lifelong relationship with only one person (i.e. “marriage”), then that desire is considered irresponsible, rash, and a cause for panic. People who actually want to get married before the age of 25 likely have “issues” and need to examine why they are “in such a rush” to do something that has “permanent consequences” and is “so limiting.”

People who seem unhappy or emotionally sensitive (by whose definition?) likely suffer from a chemical imbalance that needs to be medicated.

Energetic children—particularly male children who display normal healthy male qualities and tendencies—likely suffer from a chemical imbalance that needs to be medicated.

On the other hand, people who seem too happy are kind of weird, too, and need to “calm down.” Medication is also good for that.

Positive thinking can enable you to “manifest” whatever you want.

|Thought-Stopping Techniques
Such techniques are another way to allow only the “right” kind of thoughts. These techniques include:

Denial (“The Marmara flotilla held only peace-loving pacifists; why did the Israelis send armed commandos?”)

Rationalization (“She was asking for it.”)

Justification (“It’s okay because he had a bad childhood” or "I had a bad day")

Wishful thinking (“If we relentlessly police people for ‘micro-aggressions,’ we’ll be able to stamp out racism completely!”)

Chanting (“Hope and change!” “Hands up, don’t shoot!” “Just think positive!” “We are the 99%!” “Europe is the cancer, Islam is the answer!” “Just say no!”)

Meditation, singing or humming (I had a friend who did consistently this whenever she felt someone was being too "intense" or "negative"—it was really annoying and disorienting), praying (I disagree with this, obviously. I guess it depends how and to Whom), etc.

Other thought-stopping techniques forbid rational analysis, critical thinking, or constructive criticism, and forbid questions critical of their leader, policy, or doctrine (“That’s racist!” "That's insensitive!").

Alternative belief systems are considered evil, illegitimate, or useless.

Think of how people who are pro-capitalism, pro-life, pro-traditional marriage, Republican, want excellent screening & high standards applied to potential immigrants, insist on a God-based view of science and the Universe, and pro-abstinence until marriage are marginalized, denigrated, and mocked.
_____________________

EMOTIONAL CONTROL

There is some overlap with the other categories, but again, specific emotions or needs are deemed bad or wrong as cults seek to narrow the range of acceptable feelings.

For example:

The idea that a woman needs a husband, or that fathers are actually just as important as mothers in a child’s emotional and spiritual development is considered denigrating toward women and downright insulting toward single mothers.

Feeling remorse after an abortion is considered merely a normal albeit unnecessary part of the post-abortion phase. Society will insist that a post-abortion woman plagued with remorse or depression needs meds or therapy—NOT to help her to deal with and rectify what she did—but to simply overcome these feelings, which are actually normal reactions to doing an act that harms both yourself and others.

Feeling good about publicly humiliating someone—as long as your comment was truly witty and your target “deserved it”—is perfectly fine.

In many circles, wanting to stay home with your baby long-term and not wanting to leave the baby with a babysitter signifies unhealthy attachment.

Feeling uncomfortable around vulgar language means you are repressed and uptight.

|It’s Your Fault, Never the Group or Leader’s Fault

Poor employment, rampant immorality, increased mental illness, increasing violence, poor health, bad habits, addictions, failing schools….?

It has nothing to do with your surrounding culture.
It’s just you. (Or the influence of the enemy: the right-wing conservatives.)
After 8 years of Obama, America’s problems were still the fault of George Bush. That’s how bad Bush was; even a talented wunderkind like Obama still couldn’t fix things. Or stop them from getting worse. So if you voted for Bush...

|Instill Feelings of Guilt or Unworthiness
Cults want you to feel guilty about your identity, history, family, past, affiliations, and your behaviors. This keeps you dependent on them. Cult members and leaders toss out superficial platitudes (in particular, platitudes that may contain a grain of truth within their one-size-fits-all slop) in place of the kind of self-introspection that can lead to genuine self-discovery and self-transformation.

All white males must “check” their “privilege.”
You must constantly be on the lookout for racism within yourself.
You are from a dysfunctional family and were raised by toxic parents.
You are "manspreading." (Another buzzword!)
It’s what you’re eating, it’s allergies, it’s chemicals—food is your enemy.
If you've got a business—you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen.
You need to feel ashamed of being wealthy or successful; it's not fair to others who aren't as lucky.
Your opinion is worth innately less than that of a college graduate or an individual with a higher degree or a degree from a more prestigious institution, regardless of your actual knowledge and experience. (Usually implied rather than stated outright.)
It’s your attitude—you’ve got a bad attitude.

Or the wrong attitude—whatever that means.

You just don’t want it enough.
You unconsciously attract losers and kooks.
You just need to get over it/him/her/them/yourself.
You really need meds.
You're just being close-minded. Or intolerant.
It's your genetic predisposition.

Note: Maybe you are from a dysfunctional family or allergic to certain foods or are close-minded. But is that the only reason why things don't seem right? And can Bernie Sanders or Donald Trump or Prozac or college or socialism really fix those issues?

(And just for knowing: Genes can be activated or deactivated, depending on one's behavior.)

|Instill Fear
A very effective way of keeping people trapped in a cult and to keep them from even wanting to leave is to instill fear.

Disapproval, shaming, mocking, and character assassination are all weapons of the Left to maintain control. This is done at a national level through the media, of course, but it is also done at a personal level.

Like some of you, I have been personally mocked or sneered at when "liberal, open-minded" friends or family members discovered appalling things about me like:

I see that scientific research clearly indicates a Master Designer.
I didn’t let my kids use the Internet.
I support Efrat, the Israeli pro-life organization that is genuinely pro-woman and does so much to support families, extending to long after the baby is born.
I have more than three children.

And in case you're wondering, I never went around on a soapbox proclaiming my views. It just came up nonchalantly in conversation at times when I forgot who I was talking to and that I am not “allowed” to express such views (or act in such a way).
_____________________
A Typical Example of Auto-Pilot Fear Instillation
Once, a successful secular Jewish female doctor asked me what I wanted to do when I graduated from high school.

I immediately felt very apprehensive because I knew my answer was not acceptable to people like her. But I felt even more uncomfortable about lying. So I tentatively said, “Um, well, I’m thinking about being a nurse, I guess.”

She recoiled as if I had said, “Um, well, I’m thinking about moving to a gingerbread house to become a cannibalistic witch, like the one in Hansel and Gretel.”

After she collected herself, she calmly said, “And why would you want to do that?”

“Um, well....I’d like to help people....ease suffering....well, actually, I don’t know for sure that I want to be a nurse. I just feel like it’s a caring profession and I’d like to work in a caring profession.”

Even to my own ears, my words—decent values in my own mind—sounded so nurturing, so feminine....which didn’t bother me at all, but I knew that it bothered other people. Like secular female Jewish doctors who grew up in the Fifties.

“So why don’t you be a doctor?” she asked with forced nonchalance.

Uh-oh. The dread and apprehension welled up within my teenage self once again. “Well,” I said, “the thing is...I’m not so good in math...”

Her jaw hardened and her shoulders stiffened. Steam started coming out of her nostrils. (Well, no, that didn’t happen. But it looked like it might.)

Yet I forced myself to continue because I really wanted her to understand that it wasn’t that I merely thought I couldn’t become a doctor due to being a brainwashed victim of wonky gender stereotypes, but that I genuinely couldn’t become a doctor.

“Um, I’m not so good at science, either....” I explained. “And I don’t really want to be in college for eight years.”

After a cold pause, she said, “I see.”

Can you imagine the same kind of conversation between two men?

Picture a successful male high school English teacher talking to a male teenager:

“What do you want to do when you graduate?”

“Well, I’d like to be a PE (physical education) teacher.”

“Oh, yeah? Huh. Why do you want to do that?”

“Well, I like to work with kids. And I’d like to foster good sportsmanship and other important values I feel you can teach kids through baseball.”

“So why don’t you become a high school English teacher?” (The implication being that important values can also be taught through analyzing English literature and class discussion. Plus, students hone important writing skills.)

Realizing that teaching baseball isn’t nearly as prestigious as teaching English literature, the teen boy answers, “Well, my verbal ability stinks and I’m not so good with language arts. And as a normal healthy boy misdiagnosed with ADHD, I really don’t want to spend my whole day cooped up in a classroom.”

“Yeah, I get that. Cool.” (Meaning, “I understand that teaching English is really not for everyone. It’s good that you’re planning for a career that suits your individual needs and plays your strengths.”)

Or maybe, if he’s a snarky fellow, the English teacher will make a snide comment about thick-headed jocks—but not because he feels the teen boy must break out of gender stereotypes, but because the English teacher was once a socially and athletically inept geek and enjoys the opportunity he now has to take potshots at the athletes he used to envy.

What's the difference?

With women, there is a gender-based agenda imposed on society.

Note: The female doctor above obviously intended to be helpful. She clearly thought that I was under some kind of mind-programming and genuinely wanted to help me out of it--just like cult members who want to "help" others by "enlightening" them and recruiting them to their cult's ideology. She wasn't thinking; she was making knee-jerk assumptions based on her own brainwashed notions. I experienced her response as disempowering and repressive, even though she clearly meant to empower and "liberate" me. But she couldn't respond appropriately due to living on the auto-pilot induced by mind control.
_______________
|Confession
This was really common in the Eighties. You had people all over the place proclaiming they were an alcoholic, a pot addict, bulimic, anorexic, had been abused, etc. And this openness was considered something to aspire to. You were supposed to be completely open about all your faults and anything traumatic that had happened to you.

Then people realized this wasn’t so beneficial as they could not rid themselves of that initial impression of them as a recovering alcoholic and no more than that.

Yet today there are still vestiges of that. You are supposed to be really open about if you have a mental illness (well, not any mental illness—just the socially acceptable ones, like depression or an eating disorder, etc.) or ADD/HD or a learning disability or an addiction.

A lot of social media has a confession aspect to it as people post so many details of their lives and moods for everyone to see.

There are many, many more examples of the above aspects of mind control as you've likely thought of yourself.

THE BENEFITS OF MIND CONTROL

There aren’t any real benefits to mind control cults.

But temporary comforts and assurances do exist, just like they do in any abusive relationship.

For example:

A cult can sporadically provide a warm, accepting atmosphere.
A feeling of togetherness and caring also exists in cults.
The methods they offer may actually work temporarily.
It can be a relief to know exactly what you need to do to earn approval
It can be comfortable or reassuring not have to think for yourself.
Staying feels safer than leaving.

For example, the cult of Communism provided people with fewer choices, which resulted in less stress during a decision-making process. They never suffered from “information-overload” (although they suffered from other things instead).

Russian immigrants who came to America initially had to deal with a “choice-overload,” even in very routine situations such as grocery shopping.

Furthermore, people from Communist countries initially miss the freebies to which they were used—like health care and schooling—even if the freebies were inferior in quality or quantity to non-freebies in a democratic country or came at a much higher emotional price.
______________

STRIVE TO LIVE WITH EMUNA TO AVOID LIVING ON AUTO-PILOT

Again, it’s important to realize the signs of mind control in order to break its power.

In the above example with the successful female doctor, she was responding to her own upbringing within in America's post-WWII mind control, in which women were supposed to wax their kitchen floor while wearing poofy skirts and pink heels. They were supposed to become nurses, teachers, or secretaries—but never doctors, lawyers, or CEOs.

(Although some women did, anyway, even before the feminist movement came along.)

Forced immersion (via the expanding entertainment media and educational system) in a post-WWII mind control culture made them susceptible to the later cult of feminism (among other forms of mind control), which actually has made things much worse for women (as I’ll explain in a future post), although most women are unable to see this due to the effects of auto-pilot-induced mind control.

In the frum world, many frum women either:

intone the benefits feminism brought (despite the fact that these benefits started before the official feminist movement and would've happened anyway without the official feminist movement, albeit possibly at a slower--and likely healthier--pace); this response is short-sighted, but does make a lot of sense on the surface. With a certain amount of discomfort, I used to hold this view myself until I became more educated.

verbally disparage the feminist movement while simultaneously living up to a frum version of the feminist ideal; this hypocritical and bizarre response is obviously the result of poor self-awareness and "auto-pilot" mode.

________________________
Unfortunately, some frum communities unknowingly behave in accordance with mind control. Well-meaning community leaders or school principals can also unintentionally encourage a mind-control dynamic simply because they don’t know better.

It just feels right.

Note: In my experience, chinuch courses for parents are particularly susceptible to this. So when you, as a parent, are choosing a chinuch consultant or class, please be extra alert.

That also applies to those chinuch hotlines you can call.

|Signs of Mind Control that Affect the Frum Community
Within the frum community, the best way to avoid living on auto-pilot is to look at the attitude toward halacha and Torah hashkafah, both as evidenced by the community leaders and the community members—then make sure that you are not doing the following:

Are minhagim emphasized—even subtly—over mainstream halacha? Are Torah-true attitudes dismissed or ignored or even replaced? (i.e. If the same attitude can be found in most Sagely writings regardless of culture or time period and despite limited exposure to other Sagely works, it is likely a Torah-true attitude.)

Can their opinions and methods be backed up by Torah sources?

If they do base their methods on a minority opinion, do they have solid mainstream opinions for allowing themselves to go according to the minority opinion?

Are they taking texts out of context and twisting things around to support their views?

Is what they do what Chazal actually intended? (i.e., When Chazal said that a kosher wife does the will of her husband, did they really mean that she must wear miniskirts and Vegas showgirl sheitels if that’s what her dear husband desires? Or that she most enslave herself to his whims if that's what he wants?)

Are halachically forbidden social mores, behaviors, clothing styles, etc., rationalized to make them seem "okay"?

It doesn’t mean you go on the warpath against such individuals or groups (unless they are overtly and severely harmful) because such people are rarely acting with evil intentions (as is true of most cult adherents). In fact, they usually mean well.

People often misunderstand a clear halachic directive due to their emotional blocks, and not out of a desire to manipulate or cause harm.

But even if they don't have good intentions, battling them directly usually awakens sympathy in others due to the Flying Monkey syndrome (again, see the Kli Yakar), which is also the result of mind control.

And anyway, it is nearly impossible to wake them up until they start waking up themselves.

Davening is the best solution to helping others.

This is more of a clean-up-your-own-backyard-first issue.

You can't really know someone else's mission and their journey to get there.

Just as one example, there are Tribal tendencies and we do not know what Tribe we descend from. We know that Asher is occupied with the olive industry, Yissachar with Torah-learning, Levi with musical service to Hashem, Zevulun with sea-based mercantilism and supporting Yissachar, and so on.

Should, for example, Yissachar be imposing his Tribal tendency onto Asher?
Or vice-versa?

No, of course that's wrong.
______________________

How to Free Yourself from Mind Control

Recite Pitum Haketoret daily with as much kavanah as you can.
Recite Tehillim 15 (to destroy a demon), 80 (to be saved from worshiping false gods), 135 (to be saved from thoughts of avodah zara), and 5, 29, 40, 86, 91, 101 (all these protect against "ruach ra'ah"—an evil spirit)
Talk to Hashem daily.
Do a regular self-accounting using genuine self-introspection.
Investigate what the halacha really says and really means.
Recognize that it's hard enough figuring out your own journey, let alone knowing exactly what others need to do (or how they need to do it).
Respond to all events with emuna as much as you can (i.e. look for the message in hardships while expressing gratitude for the good things).
Accept that you can't always have full knowledge or closure immediately, but that these things do come with time (although some issues will only receive full understanding in the World of Truth, and not in This World).

When you close your mind to mind control,
you automatically open it to God.

And when you open your mind to God,
you automatically close it to mind control.

Resources

You are happily encouraged to do your own research.

Here are some sources to start off with:
http://www.carolgiambalvo.com/what-is-a-cult.html
This site is particularly valuable as she cites the differences between a healthy religious value system and a cult.

http://www.exitsupportnetwork.com/recovery/leave.htm
This describes the different reasons people a cult and the 10 stages of the withdrawal process. Based on my own experience and conversations with others, this process describes a lot of what baalei teshuvah, converts, and bnai Noach undergo when adapting a Torah-true outlook and lifestyle. This seems particularly true of gerim and bnai Noach who withdraw from Christianity.

Unfortunately, this list refers to Christian-based cults and considers Christianity as the ideal non-cult state. (Ha!) But I couldn’t find an unbiased list of stages. So as you read through the stages, you can just mentally replace “scripture” with “CNN” or “college class” or “Liberal.” And you can replace “church” with “political party.” And replace any reference to Christianity with “God” or “monotheism” or “Torah,” and you have something that describes the process of leaving Esav or Yishmael and embracing Torah Judaism.

https://freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php
This post relied heavily on the structure of the BITE model, but didn’t include everything. So this is the BITE model in its entirety.

http://www.cultwatch.com/howcultswork.html
https://www.win.tue.nl/~aeb/secul/landmark/forum.html
These are helpful because they also focus on secular cults (like a self-help cult), while most cult awareness articles focus on religious cults.

My disclaimer on the above sources is that anything they say that conflicts with halacha, I obviously do not support.

6 Comments

The Kli Yakar - Parshat Baha'alotcha

16/6/2016

This Week's Topics:

Torah as Your Dictionary
How to Shorten the Galut (Hint: It is has to do with the Erev Rav.)

Why Did Moshe Rabbeinu Address Hashem as a Female?

First of all, here is a little bit of Torah vocabulary from the Kli Yakar in 10:29:
What is the difference between the words halicha/הליכה and nesiah/נסיעה ?

הליכה
You journey forth in body only, but your mind is left behind.

As the Kli Yakar explains:

"The term halicha falls upon the movement of the legs alone that transfer a person from place to place, but it's possible that even as he goes to another place, nonetheless, his mind is still connected to the place he went from."

נסיעה
You transfer both your mind and your body from one place to another.
The Kli Yakar goes on to say:

"But [regarding] the term nesiah, the transfer includes one's body and one's thought in every way."

So this is good to keep in mind when reading the Torah and understanding what is meant when each term is being used.

Don't be a Stiff-Necked Religious Hypocrite

וַיִּסְעוּ מֵהַר יְ' דֶּרֶךְ שְׁלשֶׁת יָמִים וַאֲרוֹן בְּרִית יְ' נֹסֵעַ לִפְנֵיהֶם

They traveled a distance of three days from the mountain of Hashem, and the Ark of Hashem's Covenant traveled three days before them.... (10:33)

Next, the Kli Yakar comments on how we sometimes turn our back on Hashem, giving Him the back of our stiff neck as we turn our face toward the adulation and approval we receive from "the Nation/ha'Am" - which is the code word for Erev Rav.

Referring to the nun in this verse, he explains:

It is symbolic of the time when Yisrael backs away from the Aron Brit Hashem [Ark of Hashem's Covenant] and their faces are toward the Camp, meaning toward the Am, toward the love of the matters of This World, toward which those of the Camp are inclined.

And in order to find favor in the eyes of the Camp, one turns the back of the neck to the Shechinah and turns every aim of his deeds toward being an important person in the camp or an agent or a prince over them.

And this is the main sin among us, which causes the lengthiness of the Galut.

For most of them do turn their face from the Aron Brit Hashem to the Camp until any skillfully [carried-out] deed from Torah and mitzvot is not done for its own sake, but instead to bring glory to they themselves before others, to find favor in their eyes.

And the guardians of the city themselves are as if they are destroyers of the city.

That last sentence rhymes in Aramaic:

V'neturei karta k'ilu hem hem charuvei karta.

ונטורי קרתא כאילו הם הם חרובי קרתא

It means something to us nowadays for reasons that didn't even exist in the Kli Yakar's time, doesn't it?

Food for thought....

And this is typical Erev Rav behavior:
"...in order to find favor in the eyes of the Camp, one turns the back of the neck to the Shechinah and turns every aim of his deeds toward being an important person in the camp or an agent or a prince over them."

Let's avoid it.

Why is Hashem Suddenly Addressed as Feminine?

וְאִם כָּכָה | אַתְּ עֹשֶׂה לִּי

And if this is how You treat me.... (11:15)

Here, we have the famous verse in which Moshe Rabbeinu addresses Hashem in feminine form - meaning as if Hashem is female.

As is well-known, Rashi says this is because Moshe Rabbeinu's strength weakened when he heard what Hashem intended to do to His people, just like women are physically weaker than men.

But the Kli Yakar disagrees.

After all, he notes, it is Hashem being referred to as feminine, not Moshe Rabbeinu.

Mahari Abarbanel explains: "You make me as male caretaker who holds the nursing baby although he has no breasts with which to nurse the child when he cries. Likewise, it is not in my hands to fulfill Your request."

And regarding this, it says, " 'And if this is how You treat me' because this likeness of a female is found in You as it is in Your Hands to quench their thirst.

And You guide a man, so how can You cast upon me the concept of a female when I am a male who has no breasts with which to nurse?' "

And this concept of [the feminine form of] "You" is directed Above and does not refer to a weakening of strength, God forbid, but it teaches about His Ability, which resembles that of a female who possesses breasts with which to nurse.

Basically, the Kli Yakar explains that Moshe Rabbeinu addresses Hashem as a Mother who possesses the innate capability to supply her children with unending nourishment, as is the general idea of nursing:

The supply goes according to the demands of the baby.

May we always merit to have both our bodies and our minds in the right place.

May we always merit to please Hashem over anyone else.

And may we always merit that Hashem supplies us with unending nourishment.

Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim of Luntschitz (1550-1619) lived in Bohemia (which is today Poland and Czechoslovakia). He served as rabbi and dayan and wrote several books, the most well-known being his commentary on the Chumash known as the Kli Yakar.
This is my translation and any errors are also mine.
The Hebrew and English verses were taken from this wonderful site:
The Complete Tanach at Chabad.org

Women Then vs. Now: It's Not as Different as They Seem to Think

15/6/2016

0 Comments

While I was always a bit uncomfortable with people who dismissed significant parts of Judaism with "We can't/don't do that nowadays" or "That was then, but today, things are different", it took me a long time to realize how wrong they often were.

This is done particularly in regard to women.

And while yes, certain things are very different for women now, it doesn't mean that we can or should disregard our Sages as much as many otherwise frum Jews tend to do in this area. (And this disregard comes from a lack of understanding, and not any intentional disrespect.)

I'm just going to focus on one small example of this. (There are much bigger and thornier ones.)

I once heard the story of a rabbi who wished to repair the problem of the lashon hara sometimes spoken by the women of his household and community.

As a rabbi and a father/husband, it is his halachic responsibility to oversee the halachic observance of his home and his community. He also wanted to do so in a palatable manner, which is also his halachic obligation.

So far, so good.

But his conclusion was that the women in his community needed a kosher outlet for lashon hara. So he encouraged his wife and her friends to read kosher (and I think secular) literature so that they could trash-talk the characters in the books rather than slander actual people.

And this was presented as a bright solution.

And it always bothered me, but I didn't know why.
(At the same time, a part of me also liked the idea, but wasn’t sure why, either.)
After all, aren’t we always looking for kosher ways to express our talents and utilize our skills?

Not All Outlets are Created Equally
Then I got it: There is no need for lashon hara nor that which sparks it.
The very root of lashon hara is bad. That isn’t true of talents or skills.

Yes, a female singer legitimately needs a kosher outlet to perform or record.
Singing can be used in spiritual and positive ways.

Yes, a frum intellectual needs to find a kosher outlet for his or her intellect.
Intellect can be used in spiritual and positive ways.

However, the very roots of lashon hara are fault-finding, arrogance, the craving to feel superior by depicting others as inferior, etc. And these are very bad things that one should not indulge in, even casually. Chazal speaks very sharply about these traits.

This explains my initial ambivalence toward the idea:
My yetzer hara liked it, but my yetzer tov did not.

The Rabbis Who Did It Right
Here are some positive examples given by some of our greatest Sages:
_______________
The Ben Ish Chai (Baghdad, 1835-1909)
Toward the end of the Ben Ish Chai's Laws for Women, he presents a series of riddles for women to solve. Addressing his fellow Jewesses as "dear ladies" and "noble daughters of fine lineage," the Ben Ish Chai explains how he created these riddles in order to give Jewish women something constructive to discuss, something which avoids lashon hara and idle chatter. Furthermore, the riddles and their solutions are based on Jewish concepts and are not mere mind-candy. As the Ben Ish Chai states, the riddles are meant to "sharpen wits" and to "be of great benefit." Interestingly, he advises women to solve them together with her husband and children.

Why didn't he just advise women to read 1001 Arabian Nights and then discuss the characters as an "outlet" for lashon hara? I'm sure they could have dished out some good dirt regarding Sinbad the Sailor. Why did the Ben Ish Chai decide to completely replace the women's lashon hara with an intellectually and spiritually beneficial exercise?
_________________
The Kli Yakar (Bohemia, 1550-1619)
In Parshat Yitro, the Kli Yakar clearly describes the necessity of women knowing and internalizing Torah values and halachot as much as men, even though in his time, most women were illiterate and not considered to possess the same intellectual capability as men (although he clearly considered them to possess very high spiritual capabilities and wisdom; wisdom being different than intellect). But he obviously felt strongly that one absolutely must give Torah over to a woman in the way she'll best absorb it - and he derived this from God Himself.
______________
The Pele Yoetz (1785-1828)
The Pele Yoetz advises us to raise our daughters to accustom themselves to "less conversation" while at the same time encouraging daughters to speak copiously with Hashem and to learn to read and write "in order that she learn to bless, pray, to learn the holy books that have been translated, and to fear God."

At a time when book-printing was less common and more expensive, he also thought it was a good idea for girls to write out their own copy of a prayer book so that they had a copy of their own. These are are all fine ways for a Jewish female to spend her time when she doesn't have anything else meaningful to do or discuss. Notice, he didn't say that women and girls must completely forgo conversations or cut their speech down to their bare basics, but just to habituate themselves to "less" conversation.
_________________

A Portrait of a Letz

A Woman is Not a Letz
Furthermore, Chazal repeatedly warns against engaging in mindless chatter. David Hamelech emphasizes this in the very first chapter of Tehillim when he warns us against sitting in a gathering of letzim. (The Malbim describes a letz as "inactive, doesn’t do any evil, but doesn’t do any good, either. Just pursues wind and nothingness and frivolousness and jokes; doesn’t involve himself with Torah.")

And while it seems that more leeway is given to women than to men in this regard, it is by no means a free pass. While a woman needn't probe the depths of Sefer Yetzirah in every conversation (although she can if she wants), at the same time, a woman also doesn't need to spend her hours blabbering "wind and nothingness and frivolousness."

The Innate Demands of Major Multi-Tasking and Verbal Expression
I do want to add here that, of course, women possess an innate need for more verbal expression than men. And it is an actual need, as demonstrated by Chazal when they stated said that out of 10 parts of the tongue, Hashem gave women 9 parts—which can be used constructively or not. So Hashem gave this to women for a good reason and it doesn't seem like the standards Chazal set for men apply in the same measure to women.

Furthermore, the sheer amount of details, tasks, and weighty responsibilities that permeate a woman's day, plus the fact that a mother may be in a serious long-term phase of sleep deprivation, make it harder to concentrate and focus on heavy, deep topics.

But a certain amount of speech-refinement can still be beneficial and possible.
It has to do with balance and each woman being honest with herself about her individual and varying needs and capabilities at any given time of her life.

The Prejudice of Soft Expectations
There is the prejudice of soft expectations. A rabbi who comes to such a “novel” solution is revealing something about his core attitudes toward women and their capabilities.
There is also a certain arrogance in modern Western society regarding the Torah, that we know better and “things are different now”—particularly in regard to women.
Yet we see that the expectations our Sages held regarding female character surpass those of the 20th-century rabbi.

Again, I really can't deny how often Jewish sources say to avoid mindless chatter. Even commonly acceptable topics, like discussing politics and news at length, is discouraged. And these sources explain why such talk is harmful. So if you truly care about the women in your life, why would you actively encourage them to engage in it?

Internalize Torah as Much as You Can
I absolutely believe that the above-mentioned rabbi truly felt he was doing a positive thing.

Yet had he truly internalized Torah values—including an authentic view of women—he likely would have arrived at a solution similar to that of the Sages mentioned above. Or he could have just looked into the Shulchan Aruch or the Pele Yoetz (who describes at length in several chapters how a man must oversee his home and how he can do so pleasantly) or have utilized a similar Sagely guide to see how he should proceed.

But we live in a very murky culture.

And while no one can ever be perfect, the more we internalize Torah values, the less likely we are to provide non-Jewish solutions for Jewish problems and then present them with a kosher stamp of approval.

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Parshat Naso - The Kli Yakar

7/6/2016

The Sotah: Who Started Up First?

אִישׁ כִּי תִשְׂטֶה אִשְׁתּוֹ וּמָעֲלָה בוֹ מָעַל

"....if a man's wife shall go astray and deal treacherously with him" (5:12)

The Kli Yakar starts off by mentioning Rashi, who notes that the parsha of the Sotah follows on the heels of the parsha regarding a man's obligation to give gifts to the Kohanim:

"If you withhold the gifts of the Kohen, by your life, you will need to come to him to bring him the sotah."

The Kli Yakar analyzes the connection between stiffing the Kohanim and one's wife going astray, quoting sources from Gemara Sotah and Mishlei, that describe how associating with "loose women" brings a man to poverty.

He explains:

And when the wife sees that her husband comes to poverty, she suspects of him that he came to poverty because he has been associating with "loose women."

.... When she sees that he suddenly loses all his wealth, which is not the normal way of things, then for this reason, she, too, behaves licentiously after him [i.e., the wife follows in the adulterous footsteps of her husband].

Therefore, it says "and deals treacherously with him," meaning that if his wife shall go astray and deal treacherously with him by means of this betrayal, then this betrayal hinges on him because he caused her, out of her suspicion, to want to behave like him.

And all this was caused because he dealt treacherously with the holy things belonging to the Kohen, by not giving the Kohen his holy things.

For through this, he comes to poverty. And she suspects him of associating with "loose women," [an act which] destroys wealth.

And the truth is clarified through the "Water Test" because Chazal said (Sotah 28a) "and a man will be cleansed from sin.

If he is innocent from sin, the water tests her, etc."—meaning, [innocent] from this sin, which resembles her sin.

If he is innocent of what his wife suspected him, then the verdict [דין] is that the waters will test her.

But if he is not innocent of this sin and her suspicion of him is the truth, then there is no verdict [דין] that the waters will test her after he himself has been associating with "loose women."

So she has a bit of an excuse [ויש לה קצת התנצלות].

Yet even after stating that the wife's betrayal is a direct result of the husband's betrayal (either of her or of the Kohanim), the Kli Yakar does not let the straying wife completely off the hook.

He feels that, in the dearth of any evidence, she should have known that her husband was not cheating on her; she should have realized the real reason for his sudden poverty:

And regarding that which it says תשטה [she shall go astray]: It is a term [derived from] the word שטות [foolishness].

Even though every sinner is called a chump [כסיל] and a שוטה [fool], nonetheless, it [uses this specific term] to imply that she is davka in a state of mindlessness [הומיה פתיות] as she doesn't know what caused his poverty.

And she should have understood that it was the withholding of the gifts that caused his poverty.

Note: כסיל and פתיות are translated according to the Malbim's definitions in the first chapter of Mishlei.

The Truly Humble King of Kings

יִשָּׂא יְהוָֹה | פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם

May the Lord raise His Countenance to you and grant you peace (6:26)

This is a beautiful verse from an oft-used blessing. Kohanim bless the congregation with whom they daven with this blessing and parents also bless their children with this blessing.

The word פָּנָיו translated as "His Countenance" can also mean "His Face."

The Kli Yakar takes this opportunity to describe the act of hastarat Panim, which literally means "the hiding of the Face."

It is a terrifying state in which the Jewish people have sinned beyond all limits and ignored all messages to do teshuvah.

Therefore, Hashem hides His Face, so to speak, so the world acts toward the Jews as if Hashem is no longer watching them, may He have mercy.

Obviously, Hashem does not have a physical face and this is all metaphorical.

So the Kli Yakar poetically describes a bit more of what is going on and why this blessing is so important and powerful:

We see from this that even in an hour of wrath, during which Yisrael deserves to be in a state of hastarat Panim.

And every person who hides his face looks as if he is facing downward, so to speak, that nonetheless The Holy One Blessed Be He says it is the way of acquiescence [ויתור], "I will raise to you My Countenance so it will be directed across from your face" because "raise" is only regarding that which is liable to fall or to face downward.

Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim of Luntschitz (1550-1619) lived in Bohemia (which is today Poland and Czechoslovakia). He served as rabbi and dayan and wrote several books, the most well-known being his commentary on the Chumash known as the Kli Yakar.
This is my own translation and any errors are also mine.

Parshat Bamidbar - The Kli Yakar

2/6/2016

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כָּל פְּקוּדֵי הַלְוִיִּם אֲשֶׁר פָּקַד משֶׁה וְאַהֲרֹן עַל פִּי יְהוָֹה לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתָם כָּל זָכָר מִבֶּן חֹדֶשׁ וָמַעְלָה שְׁנַיִם וְעֶשְׂרִים אָלֶף

The sum of the male Levites according to their families, from the age of one month and upward, counted by Moses and Aaron according to the word of the Lord, was twenty-two thousand. (3:39)

When Paroh decreed that all Jewish baby boys be thrown into the Nile, Amram divorced his wife, Yocheved, so they could no longer bear children and would not be faced with this heart-breaking decree.

The rest of the nation followed suit and also divorced their wives.

Yet Amram and Yocheved's daughter, Miriam, approached her father with a plea to reunite with her mother because while the Egyptian decree affected all male children, the decision not to have children at all affected both male and female children.

Conceding to his daughter's wisdom, Amram rejoined his wife, with the rest of the nation following suit.

Interestingly, the Kli Yakar maintains that the marital separation occurred only within Shevet Levi (Amram and Yocheved's tribe) and not throughout the entire nation.

He presents 2 reasons why this must be so.

Regarding the first reason, he starts off by asking a rhetorical question about the Jewish people of that time:

How could they stand to be without a woman for such a long time?

Yet his wonderment at being without a woman for so long is not for the reason you might think.

He goes on to explain:

....because "In the merit of righteous women were our fathers redeemed."

And it summarizes there [Sotah 11b] all the favors they did for their husbands when they [the husbands] were immersed in grueling toil.

In case you are wondering (as I did) what those favors were, these dedicated wives did the following:

drew water and fish from the river
heated up the water and cooked the fish
took all this to their depleted husbands in the field.

At that point in the field, these dedicated wives then did the following:

washed and anointed their husbands (I imagine this means that they applied ointment to chaffed skin and wounds, but I don't know for sure)
fed them
gave them to drink
and were intimate with them.

The Kli Yakar concludes:

From this, we see that they [the men] could not have managed without the women.

He goes on to describe the well-known tradition that explains how Shevet Levi was not enslaved. And therefore, they were not emotionally and physically depleted.

And so, they could manage to be without their wife's support.

When Smallness Paves the Way to Greatness

The second reason why the Kli Yakar assumes the marital separation took place only within Shevet Levi is due to Shevet Levi's smaller population as compared to the other Tribes.

And he believes this population difference came as a result of their long-term abstinence.

Finally, the Kli Yakar notes this is yet another instance in which Hashem "chooses the lesser," a running theme throughout Tanach in which Hashem chooses the youngest sibling, the least prestigious person, the smallest mountain, etc., to be His agent.

Shevet Levi was at most half the size of the other Tribes, yet Hashem took the Kohanic line (Aharon HaKohen) and the greatest navi and leader (Moshe Rabbeinu) from that Tribe.

The Jewish Superstars

שְׂאוּ אֶת רֹאשׁ כָּל עֲדַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתָם לְבֵית אֲבֹתָם בְּמִסְפַּר שֵׁמוֹת כָּל זָכָר לְגֻלְגְּלֹתָם

Take the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, by families following their fathers' houses; a head count of every male according to the number of their names. (1:2)

Many times throughout the Torah, the Jew people are likened to the Sun and the stars.

Here, the Kli Yakar reassures us of our great importance to Hashem and the great care with which He attends to us.

Even a fallen Jew is worth an entire world, while those who teach righteousness apparently produce a brilliant and eternal light:

Every man of Yisrael is Personally Supervised and even just one Jew is considered as an entire nation, as it says: "....and a multitude of them will fall" (Shemot 19:21).

And even if one shall fall, he resembles "a multitude."

Therefore, Hashem gave them a number, just like he did for the stars, as it says of them:

"He brings forth their legions by number; He calls to each of them by their name" (Yeshayahu 40:26).

It mentions here "the number of their names" to teach that "those who teach righteousness to the multitudes will be like stars forever and ever" (Daniel 12:3) because each one warrants Personal Supervision [hashgacha pratit].

The Kli Yakar latches on to this theme of heavenly luminaries quite a lot.

Just as two examples:

In Parshat Vayetzeh, he compares the darker and lighter times of the Jewish people to the Sun's changing light in different seasons.

And in Parshat Chayei Sara, he states that righteous women are as vital to the world's existence as the rotation of the Sun.

This is the power your soul has when you really allow it to shine.

Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim of Luntschitz (1550-1619) lived in Bohemia (which is today Poland and Czechoslovakia). He served as rabbi and dayan and wrote several books, the most well-known being his commentary on the Chumash known as the Kli Yakar.
This is my translation and any errors are also mine.
The Hebrew and English verses were taken from this wonderful site:
The Complete Tanach at Chabad.org

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The Kli Yakar - Parshat Korach

This week's Kli Yakar is dedicated l'ilui the pure neshamah of Hallel Yaffa bat Rina v'Amichai, the innocent 13-year-old girl who was savagely murdered as she slept in her bed in Kiryat Arba this past Thursday morning, 24 Sivan 5776/2016. Hashem yinkom damah.

Shining a Light in the Darkness

The Kli Yakar - Parshat Shelach

Female Spies vs Male Spies

The Real Power of Love

How to Avoid Being a Victim of Mind Control

The Importance of Identifying Signs of Mind Control

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LEAVE A CULT?

BEHAVIORAL CONTROL

INFORMATION CONTROL

Thought Control

EMOTIONAL CONTROL

THE BENEFITS OF MIND CONTROL

STRIVE TO LIVE WITH EMUNA TO AVOID LIVING ON AUTO-PILOT

How to Free Yourself from Mind Control

Resources

The Kli Yakar - Parshat Baha'alotcha

Don't be a Stiff-Necked Religious Hypocrite

Why is Hashem Suddenly Addressed as Feminine?

Women Then vs. Now: It's Not as Different as They Seem to Think

Parshat Naso - The Kli Yakar

The Sotah: Who Started Up First?

The Truly Humble King of Kings

Parshat Bamidbar - The Kli Yakar

When Smallness Paves the Way to Greatness

The Jewish Superstars

Myrtle Rising

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This week's Kli Yakar is dedicated l'ilui the pure neshamah of Hallel Yaffa bat Rina v'Amichai, the innocent 13-year-old girl who was savagely murdered as she slept in her bed in Kiryat Arba this past Thursday morning, 24 Sivan 5776/2016. Hashem yinkom damah.

Female Spies vs Male Spies

The Real Power of Love

The Importance of Identifying Signs of Mind Control

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LEAVE A CULT?

BEHAVIORAL CONTROL

INFORMATION CONTROL

Thought Control

EMOTIONAL CONTROL

THE BENEFITS OF MIND CONTROL

﻿STRIVE TO LIVE WITH EMUNA TO AVOID LIVING ON AUTO-PILOT

How to Free Yourself from Mind Control

Resources

Don't be a Stiff-Necked Religious Hypocrite

Why is Hashem Suddenly Addressed as Feminine?

The Sotah: Who Started Up First?

The Truly Humble King of Kings

​When Smallness Paves the Way to Greatness

The Jewish Superstars​

Myrtle Rising

Categories

Jewish Blogs

Jewish Current Events

Jewish Health

Archives

Copyright Notice

STRIVE TO LIVE WITH EMUNA TO AVOID LIVING ON AUTO-PILOT

When Smallness Paves the Way to Greatness

The Jewish Superstars