Blog Archives

Links to Tammuz Inspiration & Consolation

29/6/2022

For posts on Tammuz inspiration & consolation, please click here:
http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/category/tammuz

Also, see this for inspiration on the mazal/astrological sign of Tammuz, which Tribe corresponds to Tammuz, its essence and trait to work on:
https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Rosh.Chodesh.Tamuz.pdf

Blog Update: What To Do If This Blog Suddenly Disappears

27/6/2022

Yet another blog update/warning...

This website may go temporarily offline in another week or month (it's not clear to me exactly when).

Why?

It's totally technical, actually.

I'm no longer paying for this blog's domain name and paid plan, so that means this website will go onto Weebly's free plan.

I'm not making money off the blog (plus we've reached the phase of marrying off children & all the accompanying blessing of expenses), so while it feels cool to have my very own dot-com domain name, and while Weebly makes things quite affordable, it still costs more money than I can afford — especially taking into account how Weebly is an American-based company working in dollars and I'm working with a low-income shekel-based society.

And, as usual, my filter and attempts to use Weebly's help function clash with each other.

I don't blame filters for this because as explained in a previous post, the Internet is a boundary-hating technology: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/hi-tech-hates-boundaries.

Anyway, all this means that when my domain & paid plan lapse, then the website automatically Unpublishes.

Or that might not happen. I don't know yet.

But if it happens, then how quickly this website pops back online depends on:

whenever I notice my website has disappeared from online (if it's nighttime here in Eretz Yisrael or Shabbos or I'm dealing with a family simcha, then it might take me at least half a day to notice—or more)

how fast I'm able to remedy the situation (like if I need to fix things via a long & frustrating phone call—or two!—and only during their official working hours, etc...then that takes longer)

When this website goes back online, it will most likely be with this domain name:
www.myrtlerising.weebly.com

(That's the free domain name for Weebly-users, which is what I am.)

I'll see if I can create a more-helpful-than-usual 404 redirect page, but who knows if I'll succeed?

Also, I don't know yet how the name-change affects RSS feeds or the Feedburner subscription. I'm sorry I'm really not competent with this hi-tech stuff, even the simpler aspects of it. And I apologize for any inconvenience or vexation.

So to sum up:

If this website suddenly disappears, that should be only temporary (though it might be hours or even days, depending) and will come back online again at this address:
www.myrtlerising.weebly.com

(Although you can always also try the present domain name www.myrtlerising.com to see if that works because, as well-known, a lot of this technological stuff tends to be capricious.)

When Doing Things "Wrong" Paradoxically Works

As an ironic side note, just when I decided to let my paid plan & domain name subscription run out, the number of visitors to this website jumped up...and STAYED up.

(Sometimes the number jumps up after a particularly quirky post with links to different websites that attract attention, like what happened with this one: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/the-original-magic-mirror-a-true-story-from-the-life-of-rav-chaim-ben-attar-the-ohr-chaim-hakadosh. Yet when visitors see it's too wacky for their taste, the readership drops back to normal. But this time now, it stayed up.)

This defies logic because I recently started posting so infrequently (and even those sporadic posts sometimes consisted of just links with no original content), and infrequent posting usually signals the death knell to any kind of online presence.

So part of me thought, "Ooh, I definitely don't want to disappear now when my readership is davka going up!"

Then I realized where this phenomenon and my thoughts were coming from (AKA, not the yetzer tov).

So that just goes to show how, despite logic & expert advice & trends, doing the opposite of what everyone recommends can still reap an unexpected & desirable result.

(Because our efforts are only that: efforts. Results depend on Someone Else...)

Final Re-Cap

Apologies, but I'm repeating the above FYI again because studies show:

Readers instinctively skim reading online, so they miss information

And:

Readers retain less when reading online than reading from a printed hardcopy

(Yeah, the two are interrelated.)

So if you wish to continue reading this blog even after it disappears, this is what you need to know:

If this website suddenly disappears, that should only be temporary (though it still might take hours or even days, depending) and will b'ezras Hashem come back online at this address:
www.myrtlerising.weebly.com

(Although you can always try the present domain name www.myrtlerising.com to see if that works because, as well-known, a lot of this technological stuff tends to be capricious.)

Rav Avigdor Miller Explains the Right Approach regarding the Temple Mount

26/6/2022

A lot of confusion surges over the Temple Mount in Yerushalayim.

People also tend to play games with the halachic aspects of it.

But Rav Avigdor Miller clarifies it down the nitty-gritty in the following Q&A.

Basically, the Temple Mount obviously belongs to Am Yisrael.

No doubts, no questions.

(Just false claims from other religions.)

But we aren't allowed to go there due to our lack of purity with no way to purify as in days of yore.

But it IS ours!

And not only are we not allowed to go there, but NO ONE is allowed to go there.

It's simply too holy.

Here is Rav Avigdor Miller from December, 2000:

Rav Avigdor Miller on The Temple Mount: Who Does It Belong To?

Q:
In light of what Prime Minister Sharon has done recently by going up to Har Habayis in order to show a modicum of Jewish sovereignty there, would you say that the Har Habayis better off in Jewish hands or is it better off in Muslim hands?

A:
I’m going to tell you a little anecdote first.

When I first wrote my book Rejoice O Youth, I had no money to print it. I needed two thousand dollars; I didn’t have the two thousand dollars.

So I went to Mr. Feldheim, alav hashalom; I thought maybe he’d take my manuscript.

I showed it to him and he opened it up just at that place where it says how good it is that the Mohammedans have the Har Habayis because if Jews had it, then the women would come there with their shorts and they’d profane the place.

But now that the gentiles are there, Jews can’t profane the place.

(In Rejoice O Youth on page 146, paragraph 272, Rav Miller writes: “The Mohammedans protect the holy ground [of Har Habayis] not only against idol worshippers and against images, but also against irreverent Jews. If the Jews could have access to the holy place, they would come with their women and cameras and their lunches and desecrate the holy grounds. Besides we are all unclean today, so it will be a great sin for Jews to ascend the mountain of the Holy House.”)

He saw that and he looked at me. “I don’t know if the book will sell,” he said. People don’t like to hear that.

Now let me say something.

We don’t want the Mohammedans to have jurisdiction there. We are the ones who own the place and we can tell them that.

However, we don’t want Jews to go there at all. Chas v’shalom! It’s kareis to go there today. We’re temei meisim. We can’t go there.

And if we would permit Jews to go there, you could be sure there would be picnicking there and there would be all kinds of tumos and nevalos there. That’s out!

And therefore, we’re better off that no Jews can come there. That’s the truth!

Of course, we should say we have the right to own that land and therefore you have no right to dig in there and to break up any artifacts you find.

No. That we can demand.

And we can punish them in court for doing those things. שועלים הלכו בו – Foxes walk on that place. They’re foxes, it’s true.

But Jews can’t go there anyhow. That’s all.

TAPE # E-259 (December 2000)

(Used with permission from https://torasavigdor.org/)

Are You Feeling Shortchanged in Life? Lacking in Talent or Self-Discipline or a Loving Torah Upbringing? Do You Fear You're Overwhelmed by Your Own Sins, Flaws, and Disorders? Do You Feel Like a Nobody? Despised? Rejected? Then Read This...

23/6/2022

I never meant to regularly spotlight gems from The Bitachon Magazine.

A friend (thanks, NEJ!) simply started forwarding it to my Inbox & I started perusing it, seriously impressed and inspired by all the gems found within.

I definitely need to receive exactly the type of chizuk found in the magazine. And others let me know they need this kind of chizuk too.

So from The Bitachon Magazine of Parshat Shelach, Volume 1, Issue 10 (and also in Bitachon Weekly for Parshat Shelach 5782 on pages 2-3), here's yet another gem from Rabbi Yehuda Mandel:

Those who were shortchanged in life, for example they weren’t Zoche to go to some top Yeshiva, or to some unusual Adam Gadol, some great Yichus, or a Gevaldige Chinuch where you are all set for Gadlus; can actually come out ahead in certain ways.

You may be lacking in Kishronos, or a healthy Torah and/or warm loving background, or in being pure and consistent.

Or you aren’t organized and M’sudar, and you suffer from being the “nobody” of your family and/or Yeshiva.

By the way, I saw this heartbreaking dynamic repeatedly throughout the years.

In a malfunctioning family, the black sheep "nobody" of the family is often the child with the best middot.

No joke.

If the mother is a narcissist, she often despises the nicest child and favors another—sometimes she even favors the child with the worst middot. This usually continues into the children's adulthood, often forever.

(For some reason, this specific dynamic is less likely to happen via the father.)

When you see it as an outsider, it's confusing and you're left wondering whether you're missing something in your perception of the apparently nice but rejected family member or whether there's some history that you remain ignorant of. (Like maybe this nice-yet-despised person used to behave horribly or something.)

And sure, it could be that...

...but it's just as likely the mother is seriously messed up and cannot find it in herself to appreciate the child who is so much better than the mother herself could ever dream of being.

So sometimes (but not always!) being rejected or despised within one's family paradoxically indicates your superior character and greatness.

(And growing up in such a torturous dynamic is also from Hashem. These wonderful-yet-despised children can work on themselves in ways and achieve inner growth others cannot.)

Rabbi Mandel continues:

You feel like a failure, or simply not capable.

You may unfortunately be loaded with all kinds of sins, Chas V’shalom.

“Problems” In Life Force a Person to Become A First-Rate Baal Bitachon

These and many more are forced to go only to Hashem; and if they persist then they can come out ahead of everyone.

You have a special place by Hashem, even if others are superior to you in Torah, Avoda, Nachas, or talent [Kish'ron] etc.

You learn to rely heavily on Tefila.

You may have to give up some Torah and Chesed, and even some Parnasa, to spend more time with Hashem and Shaar HaBitachon.

R' Dovid Bleicher Zatzal says that the Baal Bitachon gets special service in Shamayim.

He is a favorite of Hashem, and a [mekurav l'Malchut] — a member of the royal palace.

Again, the theme here is not about being perfect.

It's not even about achievement, but being sincere and just doing the work.

From this same issue, here's another gem from Devorah Silberman (emphasis my own addition):

If one experiences times of feeling of distance and low spirituality, instead of believing that they have failed, they should instead recognize that this is the way Hashem has designed us to be.

The Tanya in Chapter 15 writes that our work in this world involves continuous struggle.

As well as the inspiring Mashal that the Maggid of Mezritch gives:

That Hashem hides Himself to give us the opportunity to play a holy and ultimate game of hide and seek with the power of all powers.

The reason He sometimes hides is so that we will have the opportunity to seek Him and become even closer!

Mrs. Bassie Goldman says that our fluctuating relationship is the plan of Hashem.

Just like how a heartbeat goes up and down.

She also says that if we could choose to always have the connection we want to have, obviously we would choose the connection that we want to have!

So this is proof that when we are in a place of disconnection, we did not choose it.

It means Hashem's will is taking place in our life now.

The Steipler Goan ZT"L then adds that although we may not have the choice to have an always 100% static connection to Him at all times, it is in our choice to positive acts of connection-seeking that will help us over time.

We should feel really good about ourselves that we even care about bitachon, emunah, being frum, connecting to Hashem, finding meaning in Torah and mitzvot, and so on.

If we feel disgruntled about a lack in our lives...or our flaws and transgressions get us down...

...we should davka feel GOOD about this as evidence we care about the right things!

That angst makes you special.

And your angst should transform into simcha because it means you're part of a Godly elite.

Case in point:

In the American Regret Project survey of 16,000 people, only 10% expressed regret for morally wrong actions.

Do you think that's because those 16,000 Americans are so perfected, they simply have not committed moral wrongs, so have nothing to regret?

No, of course not.

Morality has gone down throughout society. People suffer warped values and do not even care about morality, except the kind of "morality" offering them comfy definitions.

So those thousands surveyed expressed regret for not having stayed in touch with their high school buddy.

They expressed regret over not working hard enough to get a promotion or not going to bed on time.

They expressed regret over not living their dreams.

But as far as regret over having lied, stolen, cheated, been mean to someone?

Only 1600 out of the 16,000 surveyed expressed regret for those kinds of moral reasons.

(That's really disturbing, if you think about it.)

So your disappointments and struggles with yourself mean that YOU ARE REALLY AWESOME!!!

So please take note of the words of bitachon excerpted above and use them to access your authentic wonderful self b'simcha.

(Or at least, with as much simcha or pleasure as you can muster in any given moment. No pressure...)

For links related to this topic:

Note:

The Bitachon Magazine features other encouraging stories and gems, plus inspiring poetry from different poets, including Nechumelle Jacobs.

The Bitachon Magazine is related to & under the auspices of Rabbi Yehuda Mandel, but not the same as Bitachon Weekly. The Bitachon Magazine consists of only 4 pages and seems geared more for women (though the above excerpts clearly benefit men too).

I'm not associated with this wonderful initiative in any way, but just passing on subscription information to whoever's interested:

To have The Bitachon Magazine emailed to you weekly, please send a request to bitachonmagazine@gmail.com

You can also sponsor or donate to the magazine via contacting them by that same email. When you sponsor or donate, any chizuk or positive results from the magazine also go into your Heavenly account, increasing your merits.

And no, I get no percentage if you do it. They don't even know I exist...

How to Avoid Hurricane Hype or Hurricane Havoc by Doing Your Own 1-Minute Research regarding the Storm Pressure

22/6/2022

With hurricane season upon the northern Pacific and Atlantic oceans, I wanted to emphasize the MAIN key to determining hurricane strength:

LOW pressure = BAD hurricane

This idea is counterintuitive because we associate high pressure with stress and low pressure with pleasantness.

But for storms LOW pressure is BAD NEWS.

(This also explains the destructive force of tornados, whose spouts contain a low-pressure system.)

If you live in a hurricane-prone area, it's important to know this because weather forecasters tend to base hurricane warnings on windspeed.

Windspeed matters a lot.

But pressure matters MORE.

In fact, when Hurricane Ida stormed through the eastern half of the United States, many people were caught by surprise.

But the weather forecasters warned everyone of the impending storms from Ida.

Ultimately, journalists made comments about how too many warnings and too much hype cause people to feel jaded and apathetic.

They stop taking reports seriously.

That's true.

But why not simply make more accurate forecasts and adjust the warnings according to that better accuracy?

In other words:

If you do your own 1-minute research, you'll immediately see that, for example, while Ida was no longer classified as a hurricane (because Ida went so far inland, no ocean was involved), Ida's pressure remained unusually low — a low associated with a Category 1 hurricane or a Tropical Storm.

So it's basically like a Category 1 hurricane or Tropical Storm swept through the eastern United States...except no one was calling it that.

But that's what it was. And that's why Ida caused so much havoc.

It wasn't a regular landlocked rain storm.

It was more like a hurricane or tropical storm, but over land rather than ocean or sea.

Also Important: At What SPEED the Pressure DROPS

Storm pressure is measured in millibars, though it's also be measured in inches or centimeters.

If a storm's pressure drops by 6 millibars within 3 hours, that is a "rapidly intensifying" storm.

Many times, an oceanic storm system starts off at a higher pressure (above 1000 millibars).

Most oceanic storm systems read between 1001 millibars to 1008 millibars.

That's not hurricane intensity, although they are serious storms and you should stay away from the beach.

However, if a storm starts at 1008, then plunges to 1002 within a couple of hours, that demonstrates rapid intensification and indicates a hurricane on the way, even though 1002 isn't yet of hurricane-intensity.

How to Measure the Intensity of a Hurricane

Pressure is generally measured in millibars (mb).

Here's a chart of how they categorize hurricanes:

Category 1: Minimal
Greater than 980 mb or 28.94 in; windspeed 119–153 km/h or 74–95 mph

Category 2: Moderate
965 to 979 mb or 28.50 to 28.91 in; windspeed 154–177 km/h or 96–110 mph

Category 3: Extensive
945 to 964 mb or 27.91 to 28.47 in; windspeed 178–208 km/h or 111–129 mph

Category 4: Extreme
920 to 944 mb or 27.17 to 27.88 in; windspeed 209–251 km/h or 130–156 mph

Category 5: Terrible
Less than 919 mb, 27.17 in.; windspeed more than 252 km/h or 157 mph

So when Hurricane Ida was firmly over land in 2021, I was concerned to note how Ida remained so low-pressure, even far from the ocean.

If I remember correctly, Ida remained at 998 millibars over dry land, even though her windspeeds slowed down quite a lot.

But again: The PRESSURE determines the intensity — NOT the windspeed.

Yes, windspeed matters.

But windspeed is not the main factor; it is secondary to pressure.

So the weather forecasters were correct in their warnings, but people stopped taking them seriously because of all the warnings that didn't end up being nearly as bad as predicted.

Again, this happens because the news focuses on windspeed.

But you should look at PRESSURE.

How do you do that?

How to Discover Storm Pressure within 1 Minute

You can call the NOAA. (I don't have their number.)

Or you can go here:
https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/

A lot of times you'll see something like this:

But you can also see something like this:

Initially, Celia's pressure was higher (and therefore less powerful).

But it dropped.

And now, combine with other factors forecast, Celia is expected to turn into a hurricane by Friday morning.

So when you go to the NOAA website and you see a storm, either hover your mouse over the red storm graphic or scroll down to look at the minimum pressure (indicated by red arrows).

Keeping your eye on that can help you decide how to respond and protect yourself during a storm forecast.

UPDATE: Davening for sure helps with hurricanes. See here:
did-teshuvah-tefillah-dissipate-a-potential-hurricane.html

For a previous post with similar information & illustrative examples, please see:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/the-most-accurate-way-to-measure-a-hurricane-focus-on-the-pressure-reading

Links to Posts for the Haftarah of Parshat Shelach

16/6/2022

UPDATE:
More links:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/the-kli-yakar-parshat-shelach

https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Remaining.Loyal.To.Hashem.In.%20Eretz.Yisrael.pdf

The Haftarah of Parshat Shelach is Yehoshua/Joshua and features Rachav and the spies she hid under flax.

Here:
www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/15786/jewish/Chapter-2.htm/showrashi/true

And here is a summary of Rachav's revolutionary transformation:
Rachav: The Courage to Create a New Reality Part I—https://torah.org/learning/women-class29/

Two Myrtle Rising posts relate to this Haftarah:

understanding-the-ancient-process-of-turning-flax-into-linen-by-hand-what-it-looks-like-how-it-works-shemirat-anayim-video-included.html

understanding-torah-sages-overcoming-black-white-thinking.html

A gladiolus flower in Eretz Yisrael (Image by allaanatot)

Who are the Most Chosen People of All?

15/6/2022

The following quote appeared in the article entitled WHAT IF I’M MAKING NO PROGRESS? in The Bitachon Magazine, Parshas Beha'aloscha, Volume 1, Issue 9.

Like the previous inspiration from this new magazine, it comes from Devorah Silberman.

(Link to previous inspiration: what-to-do-with-the-idea-of-hashem-doesnt-give-a-person-a-test-they-cannot-handle-when-you-feel-you-davka-cannot-handle-it-some-revolutionary-insights-from-the-bitachon-magazine.html)

Thank you very much to NEJ for forwarding it!

Here it is:

WHAT IF I’M MAKING NO PROGRESS?
***
While many of us are aware that there were four people who never sinned in their adult lifetimes, the majority of Yidden do not know that list by heart.

The list of those four people is:

1. Binyamin Ben Yaakov
2. Amram, the father of Moshe Rabbeinu
3. Yishai, Dovid HaMelech's father
4. Kilav ben Dovid (the son by Dovid Hamelech and Avigayil)

***

Both Mrs. Chayala Torgow and my Rav, Rabbi Naftoly Bier in his Sefer “20 Questions” point out we see that those people are not mentioned many times over in the Torah.

Yet, those who did sin several times in their lifetime are all mentioned on a constant basis in the Torah, such as Moshe Rabbeinu hitting the rock and proclaimed “you rebellious people,” David Hamelech’s sin with Batsheva, Yosef, etc.

All are mentioned on a constant basis in the Torah because Hashem chose people who fell and got up to be our role models.

WOW.

Think about that for a moment.

The Tanach devotes massive amounts of text to David HaMelech.

An entire sefer of Tanach (Tehillim/Psalms) was written by David HaMelech.

David HaMelech is the seed of Mashiach.

Yet when do we ever hear about his perfect son, Kilav?

(How many people even knew Kilav existed? How many people, when they read the above list, were like, "Kilav? How come I never heard of him...?" Yet Kilav was even more of a tzaddik than his extraordinary father!)

That right there tells us what we need to know about why we struggle so much, why some of us suffered so much & feel so damaged...and how how Hashem really views us.

It's not what we think, not what we were often told.

It's the exact opposite.

As stated later in the same article:

"Your only competition is your potential."

A field of golden chrysanthemums in Eretz Yisrael (Photo courtesy of Guy Elisha)

Note:
The Bitachon Magazine is related to & under the auspices of Rabbi Yehuda Mandel, but not the same as Bitachon Weekly. The Bitachon Magazine consists of only 4 pages and seems geared more for women (though the above article clearly benefits men too).

I'm not associated with this wonderful initiative in any way, but just passing on subscription information to whoever's interested:

To have The Bitachon Magazine emailed to you weekly, please send a request to bitachonmagazine@gmail.com

Nifla'ot HaBoreh – A Beautiful Iris in Bloom during Springtime in Eretz Yisrael

12/6/2022

Image by allaanatot

What to Do with the Idea of "Hashem Doesn't Give a Person a Test They Cannot Handle" when You Feel You Davka CANNOT Handle It–Some Revolutionary Insights from The Bitachon Magazine

8/6/2022

The following article appeared in The Bitachon Magazine, Parshas Bechukosai, Volume 1, Issue 6.

In discussing a very common Torah idea with which many struggle, the following article contains amazing Torah ideas that aren't well-known...but knowing the following ideas makes all the difference in both understanding & internalizing this common Torah idea.

(Thank you very much to NEJ for forwarding it!)

WHAT IF I CANNOT HANDLE IT?!

By: Devorah Silberman

"Hashem doesn’t give a person a test that they cannot handle.”

It is hard to find someone who truly feels strengthened by this phrase.

It’s discussed in either resentful or curious tones with close friends, rabbis' and in therapists' offices. “How can this phrase be literal and accurate?” It’s a topic that raises much confusion amongst those who have faced enormous hurdles in their lives.

Perhaps they have rock solid Emunah, and resonate with almost everything else that they learn, but are puzzled by how to relate to this pusuk.

Oddly enough, despite all the remarkable and profound explanations for what this pusuk truly means, most people don’t seem to have an awareness that there are multiple explanations to what this phrase truly means Bamidbar Rabbah 13:15-16 explains that there are 70 layers to the Torah.

Every single Pusuk has many levels and layers of meaning. Each of the 70 layers are all true at the same time.

Additionally, The Ramchal writes in Maamar al Haggados, that at times, we feel like certain words of Chazal and other Torah Sources seem opposing only because we ourselves misinterpret them.

This sometimes happens when we do not realize the parameters that limit the specific pusuk.

(In other words: We sometimes take the words we hear or read out of context to what they truly mean.)

Although there are multiple explanations on the phrase “Hashem doesn’t give a test you cannot handle,” in this article, I would like to write three that I think are the most insightful.

1: Does Hashem only send us tests that we can pass and that every person should be able to control themselves and be victorious when such tests are presented?

The answer is Yes and No.

Yes, because every test that Hashem sends us is within our ability to pass, but No because we don’t always know what the test is.

Rabbi Yisroel Reisman quotes R’Tzaadok Hakoen (Rabbi Reisman says this in multiple shuirim – one of those shuirim entitled “Oh, the things people say!”) brings out this point from the story of Yehudah and Tamar.

Despite the fact that Yehudah was involved with Tamar, in a way that is unbecoming from a man of his stature, we find no mention of punishment, rebuke, or even sin for his act.

Yet, when Tamar becomes expecting, she is asked and we see multiple Mefarshim praising Yehudah for admitting to what he caused.

This is due to the fact that Yehudah was placed in a situation where he was not able to overcome his temptation and it was too hard for him to refrain from committing this act; therefore, no sin was ascribed to him.

Yehudah’s test did not lie in the act itself; rather he was tested in his ability to admit it in a later date.

Since we do not know what Hashem is testing us, so we must do our utmost best in every area. Rabbi Golombeck Shlita often speaks about not focusing on the result or outcome but rather on your efforts. As long as we genuinely did our utmost best, the results would not be in our control (of course this would only apply when one knows they sincerely did their actual best).

Similarly, the Steipler Goan ZT”L wrote many letters to people with mental health challenges and in one such letter, he writes on a similar point.

The letter was sent in by a student suffering from obsessive heretical thoughts.

He regularly had serious thoughts that most Jews do not have to the same extent that he did.

Yet, no matter to what he tried, it was to no avail. He could not find the key to getting rid of these thoughts flooding his mind on a daily basis.

The Steipler wrote the following critical message:

“It appears that at the current time, you are not capable of free choice in this area. Rather, which is under your control and your free choice is to do positive things that will help over time.” (In today’s world, for someone suffering from obsessive and uncontrollable thoughts, this would usually mean going for therapy and doing other helpful mind conditioning exercises as well as taking medication if needed.)

(This first explanation is taken from the book Battle of the Mind by Rabbi Avrohom Steier. Book for Torah based inspiration for those with emotional challenges. Book copies can be obtained through aasteier@gmail.com)

2: Another explanation is that we grow into people who can handle them.

We certainly as Yidden, believe that we soar to new spiritual heights through challenges.

If we reach new levels, it would mean that we didn’t start out on the level we reached through the challenge. Which would mean that we grow into people who can handle them.

3: The last but definitely not least interpretation of the phrase that is very close to my heart is the following:

When you hear the phrase “Hashem doesn’t give you a test that you cannot handle” and you feel resentful towards this phrase. The reason you feel resentful is because the person who said the phrase did not finish their sentence. They should add the two words “without Him.”

“Hashem doesn’t give you a test you cannot handle – without Him.”

You need to ask Hashem to give you the strength to handle it in the best way possible.

Bracha Kaila Levin A”H was someone who I was so close to.

Among the myriad of unbelievable inspiring stories I have about all that she did, one that illustrates this idea so well is the last conversation I ever had with her.

She was in the hospital on oxygen and was still so eager to learn with me over the phone.

She was losing her ability to move and know that soon she was expected to lose her ability to talk.

I asked her how she does all that she does with so much strength and loads of Emunah. Out of the many things she told me, she said something that never left my memory.

“I constantly, ask Hashem in my own words give me the strength to handle it in the best way possible.”

We often beg Hashem to take our difficult circumstance away. And we should! But we must also include the tefilla of asking for Him to grant us the ability to handle our situation until our awaited Yeshuah comes.

Please note a major idea here:

The nisayon is NOT always what you THINK it is.

And just to emphasize: The above examples do not mean life is a free-for-all and we can indulge ourselves at whim because, hey, "Hashem made me do it!"

No, no, no.

But I think we've all found ourselves in situations in which we know the right way to respond and we genuinely try to respond that way...and instead, we crash and burn.

And this does not speak to the people who justify their prohibited behavior by saying vaguely, "Oh, it's really not so bad"—when it really is." "Everyone loses their temper sometimes..."—when you actually lose your temper regularly. "Oh well, what can I do now? Just try harder, I guess"—when you've never tried that hard and have no strategy for trying harder in the future.

Yehudah did not indulge in any of those vague justifications.

He could have said, "Oh, it really wasn't so bad..." Or "Everyone indulges their taavos sometimes..."—which was certainly true in ancient Mesopotamia, especially for outwardly powerful, handsome, successful, and charismatic men like Yehudah.

But in Yehudah's supreme integrity and humility, he did NOT engage in such justifications.

Nor did he dismiss his behavior as "cute," "clever," or "funny."

He knew the act was strictly forbidden and he tried to control it, but honestly could not.

And that's what this idea addresses.

As the author herself notes above:

As long as we genuinely did our utmost best, the results would not be in our control (of course this would only apply when one knows they sincerely did their actual best).

Side note: Deep reasons exist for Yehudah's detour from conventional halachah. One reason states that such an anti-Torah union fooled the Satan and the forces of evil, who would otherwise prevent Mashiach—who descends from this union—from coming into this world. (Tamar is a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother of David Hamelech.) That's an oversimplification of an issue, which may arouse more questions than it answers. But in a nutshell? There you go.

For more, please see here: Shavuos: The Mysterious Ancestry of David HaMelech–ww.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=60987)

Practical Application of the Concept

So let's look at some of the most inspiring and practical points within the article:

Yehudah’s test did not lie in the act itself; rather he was tested in his ability to admit it in a later date.

In other words, again: Your nisayon isn't always what you (or others) think it is.

And the idea of valuing your efforts regardless of the outcome:

Since we do not know what Hashem is testing us, so we must do our utmost best in every area. Rabbi Golombeck Shlita often speaks about not focusing on the result or outcome but rather on your efforts.

And the Steipler's words (to what possibly seems like a form of OCD):

“It appears that at the current time, you are not capable of free choice in this area. Rather, which is under your control and your free choice is to do positive things that will help over time.”

Unlike most of modern psychology (which considers a person's flaws as all-encompassing & permanent), the Steipler considers this person's mental state as temporary.

Please contrast the Steipler's Torah-true attitude to the mainstream approach toward alcoholism (for example). Mainstream treatment considers alcoholism a permanent state of "disease" (even if the person has been sober for 37 years)—and even if the "disease" aspects can be explained via non-disease concepts.

Or contrast the Steipler's response to how modern mainstream psychology and psychiatry consider any type of mental illness as requiring medication for the rest of one's life.

Maybe a mental illness does require that.

But why is that the automatic assumption?

And why is it presented as the only option (when other options often clearly exist)?

And why is much of the psychiatric community so insistent & forceful about this assumption?

Many times, mental illness is not a lifetime sentence.

And medication is not necessarily the permanent answer either. (Although medication can be a temporary or occasional answer...and maybe in some cases it is the permanent answer.)

Furthermore, many professionals and lay people consider these conditions all-encompassing. Meaning, they don't much acknowledge what the person CAN do, but focus on their dysfunction as the primary (and permanent) part of them.

For instance, many schizophrenics are also highly sensitive, creative, and more intelligent than average.

Why not focus on cultivating their gifts while treating their afflictions?

Not all opinions agree with mainstream pop psychology, of course.

For example, Dr William Glasser considered mental illness curable over time with the right attitude and right behavior modification and motivation.

(Yes, even severe illnesses like schizophrenia. And his patients did indeed overcome their mental illnesses. Oddly, Dr. Glasser's success with mental illness is barely studied in university psychology and almost unknown in the mainstream...)

Another psychiatrist cured a young woman of OCD with a combination of therapy and treating her gut with probiotics.

And other exceptions also exist.

The Torah way of hope and optimism and emunah is the true & most effective route.

Hope for the Tried and Still Trying!

For those who are truly trying yet feel frustrated, emotionally exhausted, and conflicted...I very much hope the above article helps.

It's also a brilliant discussion of the common concept of "Hashem doesn’t give a person a test that they cannot handle.”

I know it helped me a lot & offered new insights.

Hopefully, we can use the above ideas to better help ourselves and others.

Note:
The Bitachon Magazine is related to but not the same as Bitachon Weekly. The Bitachon Magazine consists of only 4 pages and seems geared more for women (though the above article clearly benefits men too).

I'm not associated with this wonderful initiative in any way, but just passing on subscription information to whoever's interested:

To have The Bitachon Magazine emailed to you weekly, please send a request to bitachonmagazine@gmail.com

"The Torah was Not Meant for Angels"—So It's Also Not Meant for the Chronically Elusive "Mr. Perfect." What Does that Mean for the Rest of Us?

1/6/2022

Here's another treat from Bitachon Weekly:

In Novardok they said, “The Pope never sins, but we do.”

This is a gentile mentality; that you have to be perfect.

A Jew derives simcha just by serving Hashem; not by being Mr. Perfect.

We enjoy doing Teshuva.

We are positive about our faults.

We realize that you just have to try your best.

"The Torah was not meant for the angels" (Gemaras Brachot 25:b, Yoma 30:a, Kiddushin 54:a).

— Rabbi Yehuda Mandel
Bitachon Weekly Bamidbar/Shavuos 5782

That's a cleverly satirical quote about the Pope because he was traditionally considered saintly, even though no Pope ever was.

(I still remember coming across a Pope who begat 10 illegitimate children even as he sat on the Papal throne. And that does not even begin to cover the Popes who won their role by assassinating the previous Pope or terrible fake trials, tortures, and slaughters carried out on their orders.)

The 2 Main Problems with Toxic Shame

What does toxic shame lead to?

To 2 problematic consequences:

(1) Toxic shame prevents teshuvah.

Because a person refuses to acknowledge his flaw exists OR he acknowledges it, but minimizes it by considering it cute, clever, or funny...then he never works on it.

He never tries to uproot it or fix it in any way because, hey, it's not really there.

(2) It causes a person to live a lie.

You aren't your negative attributes. They aren't even your fault at their root; Hashem placed them there because HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO BE PERFECT; HE WANTS YOU TO WORK ON BEING PERFECT.

(But WITHOUT getting neurotic about achieving perfection or not being perfect. Because actual perfection is NOT the point.)

If you ultimately manage to perfect yourself, then that's because Hashem allowed that to happen.

But that's not the point. The point is the work and the ratzon/desire to improve.

(A lot of people are not destined to actually achieve conventional self-perfection. For many people, their self-perfection is paradoxically their lack of success. Please see here for more explanation: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/what-if-you-lean-more-toward-esav-than-yaakov-avinu-the-perfect-mitzvah-for-imperfect-people)

Your soul is pristine and holy; THAT soul is the REAL YOU.

How to Fight Toxic Shame & Embrace the Real You

So many people suffer from toxic shame.

If people don't feel how society insists they should feel, if we suffer compulsions and desires deemed unwholesome or forbidden...then we feel like, "Ooh, this is the REAL ME. So bad. I better cover it up—even from myself!"

But really, our attitude should be like: "Gosh, I've got some pretty serious faults. Well, what else is new? That's exactly how Hashem designed things! The Torah was created for people just like me! Yippee-yay!"

And also: "My flaws and guilty pleasures do not indicate the real me. The real me is my beautiful and pristine neshamah."

Again, the mere existence of our flaws, desires, guilty pleasures, etc., do NOT reflect on us.

HOW we RESPOND to our negative attributes reflects on us.

And also how we respond to our positive attributes...do we even acknowledge them?

To receive Bitachon Weekly by email, feel free to send a request to:
thenewbitachonweekly@gmail.com

Please note: I've no connection with Bitachon Weekly; just find their material uniquely amazing & wish to spread this wonderful dose of sanity in an increasingly insane world.

Links to Tammuz Inspiration & Consolation

Blog Update: What To Do If This Blog Suddenly Disappears

When Doing Things "Wrong" Paradoxically Works

Final Re-Cap

Rav Avigdor Miller Explains the Right Approach regarding the Temple Mount

Are You Feeling Shortchanged in Life? Lacking in Talent or Self-Discipline or a Loving Torah Upbringing? Do You Fear You're Overwhelmed by Your Own Sins, Flaws, and Disorders? Do You Feel Like a Nobody? Despised? Rejected? Then Read This...

How to Avoid Hurricane Hype or Hurricane Havoc by Doing Your Own 1-Minute Research regarding the Storm Pressure

Also Important: At What SPEED the Pressure DROPS

How to Measure the Intensity of a Hurricane

How to Discover Storm Pressure within 1 Minute

Links to Posts for the Haftarah of Parshat Shelach

Who are the Most Chosen People of All?

Nifla'ot HaBoreh – A Beautiful Iris in Bloom during Springtime in Eretz Yisrael

What to Do with the Idea of "Hashem Doesn't Give a Person a Test They Cannot Handle" when You Feel You Davka CANNOT Handle It–Some Revolutionary Insights from The Bitachon Magazine

Practical Application of the Concept

Hope for the Tried and Still Trying!

"The Torah was Not Meant for Angels"—So It's Also Not Meant for the Chronically Elusive "Mr. Perfect." What Does that Mean for the Rest of Us?

The 2 Main Problems with Toxic Shame

How to Fight Toxic Shame & Embrace the Real You

Myrtle Rising

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