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How to Save the World One Step at a Time

31/7/2019

In general, our biggest tzaddikim don’t shove us toward grand gestures and massive gulps.

They tend to advise smaller steps to advance in ruchaniut and middot.

Yes, sometimes, grand gestures are needed—like the fashion-addicted woman who saved her own life by plucking out all her immodest clothing and making a happy bonfire in her yard.

She’d been diagnosed with something like a fatal brain tumor.

Yet after meeting with Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky a”h, the young woman made this grand gesture of commitment to tsniut and the tumor (or whatever it was; can’t remember exactly) disappeared.

And sometimes, a massive gesture IS called for, like a prayer gathering or saying the entire Sefer Tehillim/Book of Psalms in one go (which takes some of us 5-6 hours).

But day-to-day?

How to Transform Your Life with Rebbetzin Kanievsky's Advice

What did Rebbetzin Kanievsky a"h recommend in order to generate more blessing in life?

Learn 2 halachot of lashon hara a day.
Take in Shabbat 10 minutes earlier. (Easier said than done, for some of us—Friday morning, ask Hashem for help achieving this! But she promised miracles for those who manage to achieve this.)
Add 1 passage from the siddur to your morning davening. (For example, if you don’t say Aleinu L’shabeyach at the end of Shacharit, then start saying it.)
Bake your own challot and add your prayers to the powerful mitzvah of hafrashat challah. (Full disclosure: Personally, I do not always manage to make challahs every week, but she said it, so I’m putting it here.)
Say "Ein od milvado!" ("There is absolutely nothing else except Him!") with as much conviction and kavanah as you possibly can.

Again, please note the small numbers:

ONE extra thing from the siddur
TWO halachot
ten MINUTES
hafrashat challah ONCE a week
ONE phrase consisting of THREE words that takes mere SECONDS to say

Climbing Mountains One Step at a Time

Again: Yes, there is a place for grand gestures.

Malky Feig’s Mountain Climbers 2 tells of a family that saved the life of a young boy in their family by being ready for Shabbat by the halachic noon of Erev Shabbat.

He was diagnosed with a fatal illness, yet this family, who usually came crashing into Shabbat by the skin of their teeth, got their act together for an early Shabbat and the boy remained alive and healthy.

(Their source was the Chafetz Chaim’s advice to another couple generations earlier, based on the fact that Shabbat is mekor habracha—the source of blessing; so adding more Shabbat into one’s life increases one’s blessing.)

But Malky Feig also brings examples of people who reaped blessing from very small gestures—acts that regular people might scoff at if you told them.

For example, a young frum woman overcame a bleak diagnosis by resolving to stop using a soft-bristled hairbrush on Shabbat (because it unintentionally pulls out hairs, which is forbidden on Shabbat, even though she’d bought the soft bristles to avoid such a thing—but it pulled out some hair anyway).

Rav Avigdor Miller's 10 Steps to Greatness

Rav Avigdor Miller is famous for his 10 Steps to Greatness (Tape #706):

Spend 30 seconds thinking of Olam Haba and how we are in This World ONLY as a preparation for the World to Come.
Say at least once (in private) "I love You, Hashem."
Do one hidden act of chesed that no one (other than Hashem) knows about.
Be like Hashem, Who lifts the humble; say something to encourage someone.
Spend 1 minute thinking about what happened yesterday (cheshbon hanefesh).
Your actions should be l'Shem Shamayim/for the sake of Heaven (say that once during meals).
Look into someone's face and think: "I'm seeing a tzelem Elokim ('Image' of Hashem)."
Just like Hashem's Face shines on us, give someone a big smile.
When saying "malbish arumim" in the morning blessings, think about the great gift of garments, i.e. pockets, buttons, shoelaces, etc.
In private, sit on the floor for 1 second each day & think about the loss of Yerushalayim.

After recommending carrying out these steps out for 30 days, Rabbi Miller advised, "If you feel exhausted, take a break and come back slowly. To become great, you have to be extreme."

For a more detailed version of Rav Miller's ten steps, please see: 10 steps to Greatness by Rav Avigdor Miller z''l (tape #706)

Stream-Lined Advice from the Kaliver Rebbe

Likewise, when asked how to prevent another Shoah and protect the Jewish people in general, the late Kaliver Rebbe Menachem Mendel Taub ztz”l, who survived the horrific human experimentation of evil Mengele yemach shemo in Auschwitz, recommended focusing on the following:

Solid emunah in Hashem (“knowing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is running the world”)
Loving our fellow Jews
Serving Hashem with joy
Keeping Shabbat scrupulously (“by studying the laws of Shabbos”)
Saying "Shema Yisrael"
Say Aleinu L’shabeyach

Granted several of the above are hard to achieve.

Regardless, even the tiniest progress in these particular areas is very, very powerful.

And out of 613 mitzvot (and any feel-good derech-hateva efforts, like politicking), the Rebbe pared it down for us to focus on the above 6 ideals.

In other words, he didn’t insist on us being perfect in every way and taking on massive chumras or grand gestures.

Instead, a stream-lined focus on solidifying our emuna, loving our fellow Jews, Shabbat observance, saying Shema Yisrael and Aleinu L’Shabayach, and doing it all with joy were his recommendations.

“When we say Shema Yisrael and we are unified,
there is no need to worry about another Holocaust.”

-Rebbe Menachem Mendel Taub ztz”l

For more, please see this article: Kaliver Rebbe: “Each day is its own Yom HaShoah.”

(His emphasis on saying Aleinu L’Shabayach was in another article, but he did emphasize its importance, so it’s included here in the above list.)

The 4 Guidelines of a Hidden Tzaddik

The hidden tzaddik, Rabbi Yehuda Zev Leibowitz ztz”l, recommended the following 4 major guidelines to focus on as we approach Redemption:

1. Help Others
2. Be Merciful
3. Give In & Let It Go
4. And the main point: Not to Yell

(For a more detailed elucidation of these guidelines, please see Remembering Rabbi Yehuda Zev)

Chabad Path to Salvation

The last Lubavitcher Rebbe is famous for his mivtzo'im (mitzvah campaigns).

While he of course personally upheld and encouraged solid adherence to halacha down to the last detail, he had Jews shine extra focus on mitzvot like:

Hadlikat Nerot shel Shabbat (lighting candles on time in honor of Shabbat)
Tefillin
Mezuzah
Torah Study
Tzedakah (donating your money to worthy Jewish causes)
Furnishing Your Home with Sifrei Kodesh (and even then, he focused on the minimum of a Chumash/5 books of Moses, Tehillim/Psalms, and a siddur/a solidly Orthodox prayer book)
Keeping Kosher
V’ahavta L’re’echa Kamocha—Loving to Your Fellow Jew like Yourself
Children’s education
Taharat Hamishpacha (the Laws of Family Purity)

And it imbues a really strong focus you can still see today.

For example, I personally know guys who are either secular or somewhat off the derech, but are makpid to at least put on tefillin—even during the most pressured morning—simply because of this emphasis of Chabad.

Yes, they should be upholding all the mitzvot, but this one adherence means they still bring Hashem into their lives on a daily basis and it can be the springboard for them to return to full mitzvah observance.

These 10 biggies weren’t the Rebbe's only mivtzo’im.

As is commonly seen, he made a big deal about having lots of children, Chanukah lighting, and a Lag B’Omer Parade.

On an individual level, Lubavitcher Chassidim need to learn a portion each day of:

Chumash
Tehillim
Tanya

This is excellent because it means that a Jew connects with the parsha on a daily basis, makes a personal davening that sweetens din, and gets a daily dose of mussar and other deep stuff.

But even what’s mentioned here weren’t the only mivtzoim. For more, please see Chabad Mitzvah Campaigns.

It sounds like a lot, and it is a lot, but they weren't introduced all at the same time, and there are 613 mitzvot to perfect. So these were a way to focus (which leads to upholding the rest).

Breslover Baby Steps

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov opposed unnecessary chumras and focused on speaking with Hashem in your own language an hour a day, plus maintaining a state of joy and resisting a state of fear.

Of course he himself was dedicated to every mitzvah and encouraged full mitzvah observance for every Jew, but again, the big Sages understood that people need focus.

You can’t swallow everything in one gulp.

One of the Brelovers from generations past, Rav Yankel Zhitomer (spelled "Zatamer" in the English translation of Words of Faith), spring-boarded the complete teshuvah of a hitman-for-hire (!) by suggesting that he start putting on tefillin.

Rav Yankel Zhitomer didn't even request that the lapsed Jew stop killing people or stop stealing! Like, "Hey, Moshe, why don't you start with the 10 Commandments?"

Baby steps: First, tefillin.

And this led to a complete turnaround in which this former hitman ended up regularly risking his life for Torah and mitzvot, and to help other Jews, including bringing life into the world and preserving life (he gave lots of tzedakah).

The Breslovers stated that his repentance was like coming back from the dead.

(Just to give you an idea of how low he'd fallen, the band Moshe joined was so fearsome that when the evil Communists took over, people were relieved that this band had less power — life actually improved! That's how bad this particular gang was — and Moshe was a part of them.)

And his complete teshuvah all started with tefillin.

(Actually, it really started with him coming to shul ONLY for kaddish for his father; he didn't even stay for the whole davening. Then Rav Yankel Zhitomer approached him as he tried to make his dash out.)

For more on this story, please see:
The True Story of How a Murderer did Teshuvah

For a woman very discouraged by years of infertility, Rav Shalom Arush recommended that she write down a gratitude list of 20 things—included the nisayon of infertility—with the intention that this would enable her to have children.

I was shocked that he didn’t recommend at least 5 minutes of hitbodedut.

But I guess he knew whom he was dealing with.

For some people trapped in a certain mindset, even the minute it takes to list 20 things can seem overwhelming.

Are You Crushed Under a Load of Rocks or Dancing with a Sack of Diamonds?

In order to give GOOD advice, it’s necessary to understand what level a person is at and what step they need to take to bump themselves up a bit.

People get discouraged by too heavy a burden.

"Mentors" who insist that you jump very high through very convoluted hoops while juggling bowling balls—and to do this consistently—are probably not Gadolim.

They might be very well-intended and they might perform a lot of great acts themselves.

But the question is whether you should listen to them.

If their advice and proclamations contradict the above recommendations of real Gadolim (or if their advice goes far out beyond what the above focused on), then you should find out what the real Gadolim advise and emphasize.

Why?

Because Judaism is a sack of diamonds, not a sack of stones.

And a sack of diamonds is much easier to carry with a happy heart than a sack of stones.

Focus and take baby steps.

That’s the way to save both yourself and the world.

May we all succeed in completing our tikkun in this gilgul in a sweet way without nisayon or bizayon.

For a related post, please see:
Judaism's Secret: Achieve the Glorious Maximum by Doing the Bare Minimum

Keep it up one baby step at a time! (In other words, be like the baby and not like the teddy bear of leisure.)

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Giyus Banot, Crafty Deception, and Spiritual Physics

28/7/2019

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An issue that keeps popping up in Israeli society is giyus banot—female army enlistment.

This topic deserves a much bigger post, but we’ll just start out with this.

Ever since it became an issue decades ago, every big talmid chacham I’ve heard give his opinion on this has stated that it’s forbidden across the board, no exceptions. Ever.

This post isn’t even going to go into the whole reason why the Gedolim so strongly oppose giyus banot, but will briefly describe the historical key to Jewish military success and then address one angle of the whole shebang because it's an angle craftily used by the propaganda machine.

The Age-Old Secret to Jewish Military Victory (and it's not even such a secret!)

As described in the posts regarding my son’s army service (plus my own experiences talking to former female IDF “soldiers” & the plain cold hard numbers), the IDF is anyway overstaffed with many soldiers (hundreds at least) serving in imaginary positions—like the girl on my son’s base who was in charge of “culture & recreation,” but did nothing for 6 months except watch pirated movies on her cell phone all day and show the base an American movie one evening.

And that’s just one example.

And despite propaganda to the contrary, women CANNOT carry out combat duties nearly as well as men.

So practical reasons for female enlistment are almost nil.

Interestingly, the Gedolim haven’t made exceptions for females who could perform certain military tasks better than males. That’s not the issue.

A Jewish army has always depended on the spiritual quality of its soldiers and the spiritual quality of its motivation for its success.

WHO is going out to war and WHY?

You can read this in Tanach.

Yes, Jewish warriors have always displayed superior battle skills, whether in actual battle or in strategy.

But historically, the key to their success (or lack of) in battle rested in their hearts.

Again, you can see this pattern throughout Jewish history.

But certain powers-that-be are ignoring the historical facts and making giyus banot a pivotal issue.

So let’s take a look at one aspect of modern military service that gets pumped in the media because females do tend to perform better than males in this area.

Boys Can Do Surveillance Too

Because it’s a passive, nitpicky job, women tend to be better at camera surveillance than men.

Does this mean that men cannot do it at all?

NO.

It just means that you’ll find more women suited to this work than men.

Does this mean that you need to draft women into the IDF for this work?

NO.

In a Nachal Charedi unit in the South (I think it’s Givati), they use males to perform this task because they can’t have females on this base due to the Nachal Charedi restrictions. And these males seem to be performing just fine.

Furthermore, my son said that when he worked on a base that specialized in surveillance, there were always a couple of guys among the girls. This wasn’t to meet some quota (“We need at least 2 males per X-number females each shift!”); this was because these guys happened to be equally good at surveillance.

So they are out there, but yeah, you might need to sift more through the male population to find them.

Furthermore, in both recent and wayback history, wars and military efforts have been carried out just fine without any kind of female participation. Defeats & losses have been due to lack of morals or lack of brains or lack of equipment, not lack of females.

But due to their hidden (or actually not-so-hidden) agenda, the media & the upper echelons of the IDF like to magnify the female contribution in IDF surveillance.

Watch for this in headlines, the slant of certain articles, and the promotional photos accompanying such articles. You'll see it.

Big Feminist Accomplishment: Girls are So Much Better at Boring, Passive Activity!

One much-lauded example occurred a few years ago when a female screen-watcher spotted a group of terrorists scuttling out of a hole in the ground onto completely bare and empty terrain at Kibbutz Sufa.

(For a post detailing the miracle without promoting female military service, please see HERE.)

The screen-watcher than alerted the (male) security forces to deal with the issue of the terrorists and the newly revealed underground tunnel.

Now, I think many of us saw the actual footage of the event.

Does it take any superior skill or courage to spot a GROUP of dark figures scuttling over a bare, empty, pale patch of terrain?

NO.

Does it take any superior skill or courage to alert your superiors to this activity?

NO.

Is a male incapable of carrying out this exact same task?

NO.

In that scenario, the real heroes were shmurah matzah, Shemitah, and their adherents.

The mass harvesting of grain to produce shmurah matzot for 2 years (including a Shemitah year) was why there was all that pale, empty, bare terrain (instead of the expected cover of tall wheat) that made it so easy to spot a group of darkly clad terrorists.

But the IDF high mucky-mucks inserted a whole thing about how a girl spotted the activity and how girls are better at this work ("boys don't have the same powers of concentration") than guys.

Yes, females tend to be better at boring, passive, visual activity ("powers of concentration") than males.

So what?

Why is THAT such a massive sign of progress for women and their society?

The REAL Heroines of Am Yisrael

The ability to engage in boring, passive activity and do it well (and not necessarily be so bored by it)?

That’s a big part of what makes women better mothers, better nursers of babies, and better nurturers of young children.

It's what enables us to watch our children play at a park and prevent accidents or spot unsavory people who shouldn't be there.

Attention mommies & babysitters: If you are supervising your children at the park while sitting on the bench and staring at them, YOU ARE A HERO (in Hashem's Eyes, which are the only Eyes that matter).

It's what allows you to listen to certain family members or people in your neighborhood who tend to drone on, giving them that listening ear they need. It's a big chessed.

But davka using our innate nature for military surveillance, THAT'S the only time it's considered oh-so laudatory & deserving of media publication?

Just As You Can't Defy Physical Physics Without Going "Splat" (like deciding to ignore gravity and walk off a cliff), You Can't Defy Spiritual Physics & Expect To Get Away With It

Though it is politically incorrect amid today’s slavish allegiance to egalitarianism, Judaism embraces tafkid.

And tafkid is a GOOD thing. It's an ELEVATING thing. It's a tool!

Just like even the most musically talented and trained Yisrael cannot perform the Levite service in the Beit Hamikdash, women and men are prohibited from crossing certain gender-defined boundaries.

A man receives no merit for wearing a long, wide skirt and 70-dinar stockings. Au contraire, he earns the aveirah of beged ishah.

On the other hand, a woman who wears such clothing earns tremendous blessing and both spiritual and physical protection, not just upon herself, but upon her family and the entire Am.

Likewise, a woman is the designated candle-lighter meant to usher in Shabbat.

Have you ever heard of a husband who said, “You know what, Genendel? My eye-hand coordination is superior to yours—I can light the Shabbas candles so much better than you. Furthermore, I can say the blessing with the kavanos of the Rashash! So step aside, sweetie, and allow me to perform licht-bentschen from now on!”?

Case in point: There have been many holy mekubalim throughout the ages, yet their wives always carried out the Shabbat candle-lighting (even though the mekubalim possessed the ability to make a bracha with mind-blowing kavanot).

Why?

Because according to God's spiritual physics, you davka NEED the FEMALE candle-lighter to perform this mitzvah (and this tikkun) properly.

Men can and should do this when there is no female to do so, but a husband or son cannot perform this mitzvah instead of his perfectly capable wife or mother.

Even going back to the Nevi’im—did any of them ever light Shabbat candles in place of their non-prophesying wife?

And flipping over to the other side of the coin, did female Prophetesses lay tefillin on behalf of their non-Prophet husband? (Meaning, he didn't need to lay tefillin that day because she did it for him? Why not? A Prophetess is so much more qualified than her non-Navi husband! But Hashem's spiritual physics don't allow for such cross-overs.)

Some things just can’t cross over.

Well, not without unwanted consequences, anyway.

What a Jewish army REALLY needs to focus on: Hashem's Avodah (and not giyus banot)

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Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Pinchas & Parshat Matot

25/7/2019

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Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah on Parshas Pinchas covers a famous Rambam, often used against emunah by misguided people or to make recently secular people feel better:

The Rambam says like this: “Although you might be surprised that I say this,” that’s how the Rambam starts, “but the mitzvah of animal sacrifice is only a form of appeasing the people, so that they shouldn’t feel deprived.”

Because the people were accustomed to seeing such things being done by all the umos ha’olam - all the ovdei avodah zarah would serve their gods by bringing gifts of food to appease their hungry gods - so the Am Yisroel wanted to do the same.

But if you want to know what it really means and what a genuine talmid chacham has to say about it, you can read more about it here:
Parshas Pinchas 2 – True Knowledge and Sacrifice

And why is Hashem described throughout the Torah is such a material way? He gets angry, jealous, has hands, eyes, etc.

It's all in that dvar Torah too.

And what's the most important part of any bracha? The word "Atah-You."

Here it is:

The single most important kavanah is the word Atah – that you're talking to Somebody!

The Mesilas Yesharim says you should picture Hakodosh Boruch Hu standing in front of you. He’s paying attention, “Yes, my child, what are you saying?”

He’s listening to you. Oh! Hashem is listening to us! He’s real!

And therefore the first and most important attitude required for making a bracha is not the peirush hamilos [meaning of the words], but the attitude of "Atah Hashem" – "You Hashem; there’s really somebody listening.”

And don't forget to say, "I love You" directly to Hashem.

Here's another dvar Torah on Parshat Pinchas from Rav Miller:
Parshas Pinchas – A Career of Seeing Hashem

Parshat Matot: Mind-Blowing Social Commentary

If you're in Eretz Yisrael, then you'll want Parshat Matot.

Last year's dvar Torah is available here, when the parshas were together: Parshas Mattos Massai – The End of the Evildoers

Rav Miller explains the concept of positive revenge in the Torah, expresses his opinion of certain aspects of society and revisits some painful situations, like the murder of Yankel Rosenbaum and the Jewish boys who got hammered and then their murderers set free because "The courtroom is not a place of revenge."

But it also contains material that make your heart happy, like this:

You have to understand now, what the word hallel means. It says "Amarti laholelim, 'Al taholu' - I said to the wild ones, 'Don't be wild, don't be too excited' ” (Tehillim 75:5).

The word hallel doesn't mean “praise”; it means to go wild with excitement! That's what hallel means, wild. And hallelu-yah means to go wild with excitement about Hashem; to be excited about the true greatness of Hashem.

Did you know that's what Hallelu-yah means?

I sure didn't.

We need to remember that next time we say Psukei D'Zimra or Tikkun Haklali. Or Hallel!

He also discusses Elizabeth Taylor's 3rd husband, a Jewish guy name Avrom Hersch Goldbogen who changed his name to Mike Todd.

He apparently got blown or thrown out of his plane in mid-flight.

And it was reported how they always report these things, but Rav Miller says like this:

If we had real Torah newspapers, it would be big headlines.

Front page headlines:

“Hakodosh Boruch Hu Throws Mike Todd Out Of His Airplane.”

Yes, that would be much better. Newspaper staff are such atheists nowadays, they simply cannot be accurate. But that would be an accurate headline.

Here's more about how to disregard all media, including frum media:

You have to disregard the propaganda of the newspapers, and ignore the foolish ranting of people, and instead, pay attention to what you see and hear - with your own eyes and your
own ears.

Then you're going to see the punishment that Hashem brings upon wicked. But you have to look!

You won't be able to take even the tiniest step forward if you're looking through the eyes of the the New York Times or the New York Post.

Even the frum newspapers aren't going to help you when it comes to seeing the ways of Hashem in this world. You're going to have to do the work with your own eyes....I do it myself.

You know, I make it my business, year after year, to “keep the yartzeit” of Mike Todd.

I tell everybody about the news. Maybe you don't want to hear about Hashem showing His ways in the world, but I'm not going to forget. I'm going to look at the shilumat reshaim [pay-back for the wicked] and grow in da’as Hashem.

And you should read what Rav Miller has to say about John Lennon. And Abbie Hoffman. And the Reform rabbi who labeled Rav Miller an "ignoramus."

Also, Rav Miller mentions a Jewish newspaper that I don't know if it's still around but he sums it up as: "a newspaper for the people who are interested in a long stay in Gehenim."

Ouch.

I can actually think of another couple of newspapers that might fit that description...

(Tongue-in-cheek Trigger Warning: I never liked the Beatles, except for maybe 2 songs, so it didn't bother me to read daas Torah on John Lennon, but maybe fans should proceed with caution. Imagine all the sheeple...)

Well, the truth is the truth.

And I enjoy every word of Rav Miller.

And as we talk about the nachas we get from seeing wicked people get what's coming to them, Rav Miller reminds us that we're not happy to see regular people punished:

Now when we say the wicked in Gehenim, we're not talking about Jews who made some errors, they made mistakes, they sinned a little bit, and they're in Gehenim temporarily.

We're not happy about our fellow Jews’ suffering.

We're waiting for them to get out, we pray for them.

They're going to get out eventually and they're going to sit together with all the tzaddikim.

Nice.

Anyway, if you want to read a very honest daas Torah viewpoint of Heavenly revenge against the wicked and what all that means, then this dvar Torah is the one for you.

Thank you to Toras Avigdor for everything.

P.S. You can now get Rav Miller's weekly parsha delivered to your inbox in Yiddish, English, easy-print, and Junior for kids.

This post has been updated to show the correct name is Yankel Rosenbaum of blessed memory, Hashem yinkom damo, and not Yankel Rosenblum as accidentally mistyped. Very sorry for the error.

"And all the trees of the field shall clap hands." -- Yeshayahu 55:12

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Dear Jew, Here's Why You MUST See Yourself as Beautiful!

25/7/2019

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Rav Avigdor Miller came to learn in the Slabodka Yeshivah in ̶P̶o̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ Lithuania in 1933.

Among other facets, this style of mussar emphasized the inherent God-given greatness of a Jew and his Divine Image.

Every human being is created in God’s Image and possesses an important human soul.

But Jews also have a special neshamah that must be expressed properly.

In fact, before giving a group of rabbis mussar, Rav Yitzchak Izik Sher of Slabodka first addressed them as “my friends,” then praised them as being “fine, upstanding Jews who do not sin.” Then he briefly mentioned what he thought they needed to work on.

But first, he acknowledged his affection for them and their innate goodness.

Great Potential Enables Great Output

Each Jew has great potential and therefore, great capacity to bring tremendous good into the world.

Upon barely escaping the Nazi claws, Rav Miller spent the rest of his life promoting the Slabodka way.

By showing the non-Torah society for what it really was (using his characteristic wit to do so) while at the same time describing the glories of Torah and being a committed Jew, Rav Miller uplifted the Jewish community of America.

What’s the point of doing that?

What Can Truly Beautiful People Do? Beautiful Acts!

When you see yourself as spiritually beautiful and great, you start to feel that sinning is beneath you.

If you are gorgeous & great, but the surrounding society is ugly & pathetic, why would you be attracted to that society?

You WOULDN'T be attracted to that society--IF you could truly internalize the idea that you are gorgeous and great.

And as a gorgeous and great person, you might also aim to do gorgeous and great acts, such as:

davening with real kavanah
doing a genuine cheshbon hanefesh (“After all, my flaws are just klippot! They aren’t the REAL me, who is actually bee-yoo-tee-ful!”)
acts of loving-kindness
developing the middot of patience and compassion
learning the great and gorgeous Torah
...and so on.

There's Only 1 Definition of Beauty - and That's HASHEM'S Definition

And it is certainly a mind-shift for a shomer mitzvot Jew (or a Jew who WANTS to be shomer mitzvot) to see himself or herself as beautiful.

When you’re surrounded by a culture that promotes a feminine ideal of sleek ‘n’ chic, it’s hard to feel up-to-par if you’re a frum lady wearing a perfectly decent snood and modest shirt & skirt with sensible shoes.

You feel plain in comparison, maybe even frumpy.

But as Rav Miller often points out: Who is beautiful in HASHEM’S Eyes?

Likewise, a pudgy balding frum Jew waddling quickly down the street to catch Mincha—he’s not tall ‘n’ brawny like the male ideal.

Yet who can't HASHEM stop gazing at adoringly?

Splat!

Here’s the situation in a nutshell:

Hashem knows that He has picked you up and flung you down with a resounding splat into the middle of Galus (Exile).

Even if you’re in Eretz Yisrael, you’re still surrounded by an Edomite-Yishmael-Erev Rav Exile.

But if you’re frum Jew, you’ve struggled to your feet and started limping around doing mitzvot.

And Hashem is like, “WOW! You’ve been flung down with a splat into the middle of the harsh Galus, yet you’ve decided to maintain a connection to Me—and maintain that connection to the point that, all dusty and limping, you’re going to wear clothes considered shlumpy or frumpy by Galus or hurry off to the nearest minyan for Mincha? I could just KISS you, I love you so much!!!!!!!”

Do you do any of the following (and more!)?

You wear clothes that cannot possibly imitate the latest warped styles, which your surrounding society finds so attractive.

You talk to Someone no one can see (via prayer).

There are foods you'll never taste and world-renowned restaurants you'll never enter simply because you were told "no" millennia ago.

You insist on studying the most beautiful and purest words of wisdom, which are denigrated by Galus as paternalistic or perverse by your surrounding society.

You go (or wish to go) live in a country surrounded by bloodthirsty haters, where your standard of living is lowered (usually, but not always), and there are all sorts of other challenges...just because Hashem said, "Here. This is a Gift from Me. Live here."

Then guess what? Hashem thinks you're fab.

Even if you're doing it limping and mussed, you're DOING it, for crying out loud.

Gorgeous, stunning you.

The Limping Beauty

There’s another very famous limper in Tanach.

Yes, that’s right: Yaakov Avinu.

All night long, Yaakov Avinu wrestled with the horrific spiritual force of Esav/Edom.

And he came away with a limp. He won the terrible battle, but he stumbled away from it.

He didn’t heal his limp, nor did any other tzaddik do so. Hashem cured his limp. (Hashem is the only One Who could heal that Edom-inflicted limp.)

Yet Yaakov is considered beautiful—Tiferet.

Avraham Avinu symbolized Chessed (loving-kindness).

Yitzchak Avinu symbolized Gevurah (the power of restraint, the power to overcome).

The perfect synthesis of Gevurah & Chessed is Tiferet—beauty (the beauty of Truth).

And that’s what Yaakov was.

(This symbolism is mentioned in the Amidah of the Artscroll siddur, as many of you may already know.)

And Yaakov Avinu didn't just rest there on his laurels of victory.

He kept going.

Why?

Because he was beautiful in the deepest, truest, more important way.

And so are you.

The Beautiful Jew in the Ugly Exile

So even if we’re getting ground into the dust by the powerful Galus that surrounds us, and even though the struggle makes us come away limping, we need to realize that we are absolutely beautiful to Hashem.

BECAUSE we’re struggling to keep the Torah, we are considered beautiful by Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

You need to look at yourself that way and you need to see other shomer mitzvot Jews that way. (Non-observant Jews are beautiful in potential; they could certainly express their neshamah in a way that makes them greater than anyone else - if they would do so.)

Are we flawed?

Yes.

You can’t fight this fight without getting your clothes wrinkled and your hair mussed.

And yeah, we all can be stumbling around with an awkward, painful limp that only Hashem can heal.

That doesn’t mean we aren’t beautiful.

Embattled, limping, soldiering-onward Yaakov was beautiful. Yaakov was Tiferet.

So it’s good to try to see yourself and fellow struggling Jews the way Hashem sees you all:

You are beautiful. Gorgeous. Absolutely STUNNING.

And that’s the Truth.

Eretz HaKodesh is Beautiful too.

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The First Step in Ahavat Yisrael: Resist!

23/7/2019

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In Rav Itamar Schwartz's 5778/2018 newsletter for the 3 weeks, he writes that the first step in ahavat Yisrael is sur m'ra - turn from evil.

He recalls Mishna Avot's famous statement “What is hated to you, do not to do
your friend.”

Rav Schwartz emphasizes the importance of refraining from any evil toward another Jew, or being inconsiderate toward a fellow Jew.

Only then can you move on to the next step: "V'ahavta l're'echa kamocha - You shall love to you fellow like yourself."

http://www.bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.on.the.Three.Weeks.5778.pdf
(Scroll down to the teal banner inscribed with AHAVAS YISRAEL)

We're Defined by What We DON'T Do

And it got me thinking how wise Judaism is.

Sur m'ra really is the first step.

For example, many people eat kosher food, but they also eat non-kosher food. Some keep kosher at home and abandon kashrut at restaurants.

Are they really keeping kosher?

No. They're ingesting treif food. Even those fool themselves into being makpid to eat only dairy or pareve at non-kosher restaurants still eat food that was cooked right alongside with pepperoni or bacon.

If they want to truly keep kosher, they need to "sur" from all the treif stuff.

Likewise, we all know people who eat the Leil Shabbat seuda, complete with Kiddush and Hamotzi. They light Shabbat candles and may even go to services Shabbat morning.

But they drive. They go out for ice cream. They flick light switches and watch TV. They are totally mechalel Shabbat.

Does their heartfelt Kiddush Friday night mean they are shomer Shabbat? Definitely not. They are mechalel Shabbat.

Same thing with women who cover their hair and wear miniskirts. Is that tsanuah? Yeah, her head is tsanuah, but the rest of her is not.

So sur m'ra really is more than the first step in a mitzvah; it often defines the mitzvah.

And just to be clear: I'm not saying that covering your hair while wearing un-tsnius clothing is meaningless, nor am I saying that keeping positive Shabbat commandments while running roughshod over the prohibitions is meaningless.

It's not.

(Please see If Someone is Eating a Treif Salami, Should He Make a Bracha? for more on that topic.)

But you cannot say that the person is shomer Shabbat, keeping kosher, or overall tsanuah, or whatever, until they start obeying the sur m'ra.

Anyway, sur m'ra is a good aspect to focus on at this time of the 3 Weeks.

Ahavat Yisrael? One step at a time.

First...refrain. Hold back.

Refrain from hurting people.

Refrain from inconsiderate behavior.

Refrain. Resist. Sur m'ra.

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Are We Still Longing for Aspects of Mitzrayim?

22/7/2019

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Shattered Crystals is the compelling & thought-provoking memoir of a frum woman and her family in Germany.

Mrs. Kanner’s memories begin well before the rise of yemach shemo and show the gradual transformation of what was once one of the most civilized, “progressive,” and refined cultures in the world.

The book is apparently out of print, but can be ordered second-hand or found in frum libraries. It can also be legally downloaded here:
http://www.shatteredcrystals.net/files/SHATTERED-CRYSTALS.pdf
This ebook contains beautiful photographs of the Kanners which were not in the original CIS Publishers book, plus a few addendums at the end, one of which describes the 2 older Kanner girls' experiences in America before they reunited with their parents. (Lea, the youngest, was hidden by the French Underground.) Unfortunately, in addition to the trauma of the Shoah, the 2 older girls (Ruth & Eva) also experienced trauma in their new environment from family separation, being shifted from foster home to foster home, cultural and language adjustments, and much more. So while they were lucky to escape the final acts of the Shoah, they still experienced traumatizing challenges. Particularly for Eva, writing this book with her mother helped heal some of that trauma.

Early on, the Kanners realized what was happening.

In fact, the Kanners applied for a visa as early as 1934 and Mr. Kanner even made a pilot trip to Eretz Yisrael in 1935! He visited a niece in Tel Aviv, and together they heard the Nuremberg Laws announced on the radio.

The niece begged Mr. Kanner to remain and send for the rest of the family immediately. She even escorted him to the ship for his return trip, begging him to bring him and his family over immediately.

At one point, the Kanners even shipped their belongings to Tel Aviv, intending to follow soon after.

The Kanners were #1 on the list for their visa to Palestine.

Yet every time their turn came up, the Zionist Bureau for the Resettlement of German Jews gave the Kanners’ number to others, always claiming some kind of life-and-death urgency that prioritized others over the Kanners.

For some reason, even with Mr. Kanner’s incarceration in the awful Buchenwald camp in 1938, the Bureau still placed other "life-and-death" applicants before the Kanners and denied the Kanners their rightful visa. Ultimately, the Kanners were “number one” on the visa list for 5 years!

By the time the Bureau finally granted the Kanners their visas in 1939(!), it was too late. The Shoah had forced the Kanners to flee to France and they could not access their visas.

Just for knowing, Mrs. Kanner had been ready to leave illegally and give up her upper-class German lifestyle to live in the much poorer conditions in Eretz Yisrael.

But Mr. Kanner was more cautious, more hesitant about breaking the law which he’d always upheld with such exemplary integrity and he was also reluctant to subject his family to such a sharp plunge in their standard of living.

And while in hindsight, it’s easy to condemn their postponement, the book shows the reality of the situation that makes it easy to understand Mr. Kanner’s very real concerns—particularly when illegal exit became deadly.

The observations of the slow-boil transformation from an ideal society to Nazi hell, the pure & selfless love between a frum husband and a frum wife (in some ways, Shattered Crystals is an inspiring love story, especially Mrs. Kanner's courageous dedication to her husband, including wrenching him out of Buchenwald), their dedication to their family members and Jewish orphans and especially their 3 daughters...reading about such admirable Jews against the backdrop of history makes for an enlightening & heartbreaking read.

Yet out of the entire compelling memoir, one dynamic struck me in particular.

"Germany, ah, Germany..."

The year 1942 found the Kanners in a deplorable transit camp called Nexon.

And as per Mrs. Kanner's noble self, she sought to avoid depression or useless reminiscing by assisting Nexon's nurse (a righteous gentile) in helping Mrs. Kanner's fellow Jews. This great chesed also helped save Mr. & Mrs. Kanner's life later on.

(Two Kanner daughters had been sent on a kindertransport to America and one daughter was hidden by the French Underground. And yes, b'chasdei Hashem, this entire family survived to be reunited in America much later.)

In Mrs. Kanner’s barracks, the women either sat and brooded silently or boasted of their once-classy lifestyle in pre-Nazi Germany while understandably complaining over their current circumstances.

For example, one reminisced (pg. 169), “Germany, ah, Germany…In Frankfurt, I had a seven-room house. You see this wool coat? It was my everyday coat. For the theater, I had a gray Persian jacket and a hat to match.”

And another answered, “Do you know the Opera House in Berlin?...My husband and I attended regularly. We had a subscription. We had such beautiful times.”

Now.

I cannot judge and will not judge. I cannot know how I would behave in the same situation, chas v’shalom.

In fact, I well understand the brooding women. I can picture myself becoming depressed and lethargic after years of persecution and transit camps while my people are being genocided.

But as for those who boasted of their former life among the German elite...that same German elite who dumped them into this camp, Nexon, where 1000 fellow Jews died over the course of one winter from lack of hygiene and protection from cold, plus malnutrition.

The nauseating smell of excrement constantly permeated the entire camp.

And yet…“Germany, ah, Germany”?

The entire Jewish population of Europe was being massacred by the same people who gave them the Frankfurt Theater and the Opera House in Berlin.

The same ones!

"Farewell, Traitorous Homeland!" vs "Germany, ah, Germany..."

Again, without judging or imagining I’d be any better, this stood out to me in contrast to so many other Shoah memoirs, particularly those related by frum people.

In the camps or on the run, frum Jews longed for their old Shabbos meals with their families. They longed for peace and enough food to eat. They longed to be reunited with their loved ones.

They did not constantly reminisce about material luxuries or halachically forbidden pastimes. (Yes, of course they missed having food and hot baths, but they did not obsess over former luxuries or their former society that betrayed them. They missed actual people and uplifting spiritual times.)

Upon liberation, Jews felt desperate to leave blood-soaked Europe. Many wanted to go to Eretz Yisrael. Even the ones who ended up in America or South America or England usually tried to go to Eretz Yisrael first.

Who wanted to go back to Germany (or Poland or Czechoslovakia or…)?

Hardly anyone.

For example, in A Daughter of Two Mothers: When one Shoah-survivor returned to take final leave of the small Carpathian town where she’d enjoyed several beautiful years with very special Jews (and where most of the non-Jewish population sided with the Nazis against the Jews), she said, “Good-bye forever…I hope never to return to this place!”

Later, upon leaving Budapest (where she’d lived in the lap of luxury) for Eretz Yisrael, she said, “Farewell to you, disloyal homeland that betrayed my people…But you, Hungary my homeland, you betrayed us, your Jews…Farewell, traitorous homeland, forever. I will never return here.”

That's right. Despite the pampered lifestyle she’d enjoyed in Budapest, this young woman never sighed, “Hungary, ah, Hungary…” after she saw the collaboration of many Hungarians with the Nazis.

In fact, the only thing she'd missed from her former wealthy life was her sewing machine, which she eventually found and took to Eretz Yisrael and sewed tsnius clothes and clothing l'chvod Shabbat and Chag. (In other words, even this material tool was used for spiritual reasons.)

Most Shoah survivors echo Leichu’s reaction, wherever they were from.

Yet within the life-destroying camp of Nexon, some women boasted of and yearned for their former German lives even as that same culture and those same people tortured and murdered them in all sorts of horrible ways.

Meaning, the EXACT SAME PEOPLE & CULTURE that brought you the Berlin Opera House and the Frankfurt Theater and the fashion culture of Persian jackets with matching hats were the EXACT SAME PEOPLE & CULTURE that also brought you Auschwitz, gas chambers, Buchenwald, Nexon, and the insufferable cattle cars.

This is definitely food for thought.

"Mitrayim, ah, Mitzrayim..."

Then Mrs. Kanner observed, “Complaining or boasting, they lived in the past.”

They couldn't stop looking over their shoulder back at their previous life in Germany.

And they reminded me of another group of people who either complained or boasted and lived in the past and kept looking over their shoulder back toward their former culture:

“We remember the fish that we ate in Mitzrayim free [of mitzvot], the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.” (BaMidbar 11:5)

Mitzrayim, ah, Mitzrayim…

Okay, it’s not exactly the same.

In the Midbar, they were surrounded by Divine Clouds and feasted on mann. Very different than a deplorable Nazi camp, to be sure.

But the point is, they were missing their former empty meaningless life of spiritual darkness.

Yet it goes even deeper than longing for unimportant material luxuries (like the taste of watermelon or the sound of opera).

It’s that yearning for the spiritual darkness, which is mistakenly seen as light.

The Darker Implications beneath Such Yearning

Sunk within the spiritual darkness of secular “progressive” decadent pre-war Germany or within the spiritual darkness of the occultic “progressive” Mitzrayim, both cultures were the pinnacle of civilization in their times and both embraced an ethos that ultimately enslaved the Jewish people and massacred newborn Jewish babies in horrific ways.

In other words, it’s not something to get nostalgic over.

In fact, if you’ve read Rav Avigdor Miller’s A Divine Madness, you see the opinion of many Gedolim that the immersion in gray Persian jackets with matching hats and regular attendance at an opera house—all chinam (free of mitzvot, according to Rashi)—is part of what landed them in the transit camps in the first place.

Again, that's not me saying it. That's Rav Miller and other Gedolim.

But like I said, I’m not here to judge people who find themselves in the middle of a decade-long genocide.

I can't know if I'd be any better or different.

Maybe I'd even be much worse.

Breaking COMPLETELY Free of Mitzrayim

The point is this: If it strikes me, then that means I need to do some soul-searching.

I need to judge myself, not others.

But yeah, I could put on blinders and luxuriate in feelings of superiority.

After all, I already live in Eretz Yisrael and I’m already happily living a non-American lifestyle. Also, I have not been to America in over 16 years, nor do I have any desire to return. (In fact, at this point in life, the thought of making a visit to America fills me with dread. But I didn’t always feel that way.)

So I could put on blinders and luxuriate in feelings of superiority.

But I think I would be very wrong to do so.

I think people (including frum people) can still have attachments to Mitzrayim, even if they’ve left and don’t miss it overall.

And before you dismiss the boasters and complainers as Erev Rav, please remember than Erev Rav influence us (if we let them) and we have gotten punished for Erev Rav sins and incitement. This was true in the Midbar and this is true today.

One can leave (or get thrown out of) Mitzrayim and still boast of their old Mitzrayim life and complain about their new Midbar life (or get caught up among people who do).

But what are the things they miss?

Watermelons. Opera. Theater. Gray Persian jackets with matching hats. Luxury homes. Cukes.

All produced by the very people who are annihilating them.

Are we attached to anything that is killing us (spiritually or physically)? Or to pastimes or fancies produced by people who are trying to annihilate us (spiritually or physically)?

If so, what?

And how should we detach?

(Hint: Filling ourselves up with Torah gradually elbows out all the garbage.)

B'ezrat Hashem, May we all succeed in completely leaving our own Mitzrayim.

Coming out into the light of the Old City of Yerushalayim

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Every Jewish Face is a Pleasure! A Snippet of Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Balak (Plus a link to Parshat Pinchus: A Career of Seeing Hashem)

19/7/2019

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Shockingly, I had an outside project to complete this week, so blogging was sporadic and I didn't get around to highlighting everything I love about Rav Miller's parshat hashavua from Toras Avigdor.

So I'll leave you with this from Parshat Balak: Beloved Multitudes of Israel:

FAT JOLLY JEWS ARE A PLEASURE!
****
Look at a Jewish face as it passes by - every single one is a pleasure.

It’s a pleasure to have skinny serious Jews – it’s very important to have them.

And fat jolly Jews – it’s a pleasure to have them too.

Business-like Jews, they’re also pleasure.

Each one is a pleasure – no question about it, and that’s why Hashem is counting us.

So don't forget to check out:

Right! So let's make sure we say "Modeh Ani" with a happy heart.

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Why We NEED Different Halachically Legitimate Frameworks in Torah Judaism

17/7/2019

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With regard to yesterday's post (Why Roles & Structures are So Important for True Self-Liberation), there are many things you can take away from a discussion of utilizing your God-given framework in the best way possible.

But upon second glance, I feel I didn't emphasize one aspect enough.

Part of our God-given framework is the type of avodat Hashem we were either born into or adopted later on.

The reason why there are a variety of Chassidic groups and even divergent paths among non-Chassidic Ashkenazim is because Hashem WANTS there to be--just like He wanted there to be different Tribes with different tafkidim and even different pronunciations (like Shevet Efrayim and their pronunciation of "shin" as "sin.")

Hashem WANTS there to be Sefardim--and among Sefardim, Hashem WANTS there to be Bucharian ways, Yemenite ways, Moroccan ways, and more.

There are even differing levels among tzaddikim:

You have a person defined as a tzaddik because his good deeds outweigh & outnumber his sins.

Then you have a tzaddik who hardly sins at all.

Then you have a tzaddik who hardly sins at all and is an active miracle-worker or someone with genuine ruach hakodesh.

But the highest level of tzaddik does not mean that the minimum standard of tzaddik is nothing.

Such a person is still very precious, both to Hashem and to the merit of our Nation!

Here is some advice from Rav Avigdor Miller on the subject that should be taken very much to heart, regardless of which group you cling to (boldface is my own emphasis & all quotes taken from Toras Avigdor):

The Fiery Danger of Denigrating ANY Gadol

But I must tell you that I disagree with the attitude of being mivatel, of putting down, someone else’s gadol.

No; I disagree with that attitude.

Gedolim can be here and Gedolim can be there, and we have to appreciate all of them. Your Gadol doesn’t have to be the only Gadol.

And even though there might be a machlokes, a disagreement, between them; yes, there may be a machlokes between them, but we should stay out of it.

It’s fire! Worse than fire! We shouldn’t say a word. Not a word!

(Source: TAPE #901)

Okay, Fine. I Don't Put Down Other Groups or Their Gadolim, But How Do I Respond When THEY Act Like THEY'RE Superior?

And if they consider themselves superior, so we can ask the same question:

Why is it that most non-Lubavitcher chassidim consider themselves superior to Lubavitcher chassidim? Why do Breslover chassidim consider themselves superior to Lubavitcher chassidim? And why do Satmerer chassidim consider themselves superior to Breslover chassidim?

And the answer is that all idealists who follow certain systems, they do it because they think it’s the best system – otherwise they’d follow a different system. It’s common sense!

What should a man be a Lubavitcher if he thinks something else is better? Why should a non-Lubavitcher be non-Lubavitcher unless he thinks that it’s better.

All idealists follow the system they follow because they think it’s the best.

Now, who is going to be the arbiter and say who is the best? Moshiach will come, and in order to keep peace between everybody, he’ll say, “You’re all the best!”

And the truth is that they are all the best.

But right now, it’s not really a question if the Lubavitcheh feel superior, because if you ask a litvishe yeshiva bochur, he feels he’s superior.

Ask a Satmarer and he feels he’s superior.

And go into a sefardisheh yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel, go into Porat Yosef, and he’s knows that he’s superior too.

Everyone is superior.

And the answer is that’s how idealists have to be. No idealist will do something that he thinks is not superior.

(Source: TAPE # 271)

Why Do We Need All These Groups Anyway?

What’s the benefit of different types of servants of Hashem?

Who needs chassidim and misnagdim and sefardim?

Wouldn’t it have been better if we all walked together on one path towards Hakodosh Boruch Hu?

So I always say: Why is it that you’ll find in the supermarket clover honey and orange blossom honey and buckwheat honey? There are at least ten varieties of honey! Who needs it?!

And the answer is that it makes life more delectable! Variety is a pleasure!

After all, Hakodosh Boruch Hu could have given us nothing but red delicious apples. Let’s say you’d pass a fruit stand and all you would see is bins and bins of red delicious apples.

Now, red delicious apples are a treat; we can’t complain about them, but how much more fun it is when we have ten different kinds of apples!

And even better, to have tens and tens of varieties of fruit. It’s much more fun when you can choose from a wide variety of good things.

And therefore, there are all kinds of methods of serving Hashem, each one that has been cultivated by Hashem Himself, by the separation of kehillos.

Sometimes a person can choose one method and stick to it always. Or sometimes you can choose from the fruit store of the different shevatim.

Sometimes you’ll choose something from the Gerrer, another thing you’ll take from Lakewood, something you’ll pick from Lubavitch, something you’ll take from Belz, and something else you’ll nosh from Satmer. And so on.

Every shevet had something to contribute. You can be sure that there are a lot of delightful fruit in all of these various places that help the Am Yisroel in its avodas Hashem.

Everybody is helping out!

Some kehillos brought to the Am Yisroel the great benefits of mussar to the Am Yisroel, while other kehillos brought chassidus.

From some communities we learn to be kanaaim for the truth and others impress us with their hasmadah in limud hatorah or gemillas chasodim.

I myself have learned from one group of Jews in Flatbush what it means to be michabeid talmidei chachomim.

Because there’s no end to the variety of paths that the Am Yisroel walk toward the One Hashem and there’s what to learn from everyone.
*****
Now I’m not going to tell you what’s best. Someone asked me, what does Hakodosh Boruch Hu want from me? Am I supposed to be chassidish, or litvish or what?

Now that’s some big order. He wants me to make enemies, the one who asked me that question.

Hashem wants you to be the best that you can be.

Some people can be their best if they’re chassidish.

Some people can be their best if they’re litvish.

Other people can be their best if they’re sefardi.

It’s like asking – “What is the best diet for all of mankind?”

The best type of diet depends on each individual person. People are different.

Some people are so different that their diets are radically different.

So whatever it is that you choose, you should make it a principle in your life to always choose whatever it is that will give you the most success in life – and success in this world means preparing for the Next World.

(Source: Parshas Beshelach: Learning to Love All Types of Jews)

Different halachically legitimate groups of Jews....as sweet as the varieties of apples and honey!

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Why Roles & Structures are So Important for True Self-Liberation

16/7/2019

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While Judaism gives each person breadth and depth to fulfill each unique individual potential, it does so within a framework.

In today’s world, which promotes the contradictory states of competition and egalitarianism, Judaism’s imposed structures seem confining to many people.

Competition works with envy. What does the other person have and how can I get it too—and get more of it in order to be better & richer than everyone else?

Egalitarianism insists that everyone deserves equal opportunity and rights for EVERYTHING. It doesn’t differentiate between innate nature, capabilities, talents, or abilities.

Egalitarians and competitors work against each other, yet both are held up us ideals within much of Western culture.

Yet Judaism has been there all along saying that neither is correct.

Yet Jews find themselves submerged in this contradictory culture, which is already in struggle and friction, and then need to work out how to internalize Jewish concepts that preempt their cultural indoctrination.

No wonder so many people get so frustrated or confused, or ended feeling so unfulfilled!

"I'm DONE With Being Just a Thumb!"

Just to remain alive, you need structure.

What good are all your blood vessels and inner organs if you don’t have a skeleton to put it on and flesh to hold everything in?

Likewise, you body parts play different yet essential roles. Oy vavoy if your heart would suddenly decide it would be more fulfilled as a lung or vice-versa.

And yes, even your body parts aren’t egalitarian.

You can live without your thumbs. Your heart is MUCH more important.

Yet if the thumbs decided they needed a more chashuv tafkid and pushed the heart aside, the person would die.

Likewise, if the heart decided it needed to step down (“A machine can do the work I can—what do I really matter?”) and live the more relaxed life of a thumb (“They get to rest at night and not keep pumping away”), it would be a disaster for that person.

So we see from this that if our mere body parts were at all competitive or egalitarian, there would not be one person left alive on the planet.

What Roles Does Hashem Send Us?

Judaism assigns us many types of roles.

We have roles based on:

spiritual/biological status (gerim, born Jews, Jews born as mamzerim chalilah, etc.)
gender
inherited spiritual status (Kohen, Levi, Yisrael)
Tribal status (back in Tanach: Reuven, Shimon, etc.)
yichus (kingship, Mashiach ben David, Mashiach ben Yosef, etc.)
earned status (talmid chacham, tzaddik, etc.)
family status (married, single, divorced, widowed, parent, etc.)
age (elderly, above 20, above bar/bat mitzvah, child, etc.)
and so on.

And within these roles, we have tremendous room to move.

A non-Jew can become a Jew.

A single person can become a husband or wife.

Childless people can become parents.

Young people eventually grow old.

A lazy chump can eventually work himself into a talmid chacham.

A selfish narcissistic can eventually work herself into a baalat chessed.

When black-and-white thinkers tell us what our role should be or how we should use our God-given structure, it can confuse us (because they can be so wrong).

But even well-meaning intelligent people can be wrong about what is best for YOU and how you should be using YOUR God-given roles.

Some people like to foist society's structures on you or even their own role on you. They try to wrench you out of your roles and stuff you into somebody else's box.

Don't let them.

(Tip: Learning mussar, doing a chesbon hanefesh, and engaging in tefillah can re-orient you to who you are and what you should be doing, despite external pressures.)

What Can You Make of Yourself?

Roles are also only as good as what you put into them.

The privileged Kohen can be an am ha’aretz while the run-of-the-mill Yisrael can become a massive talmid chacham.

A son can become rotten and a daughter can become a tzaddekes.

Judaism is replete with stories of people who rose from humble beginnings to great heights.

Chana started out as the infertile & heartbroken co-wife of Elkanah, then became the prototype of ideal tefillah, plus the producer of one of the greatest nevi’im, Shmuel, and the mother of a large family.

Ovadia Hanavi started off life as a non-Jew, then rose to become not just a Navi, but a Navi whose nevuah earned its own book in Tanach!

Gidon was the youngest son of a the smallest family in the smallest tribe during a time when even the greatest Jews found themselves under Midyanite oppression, but Gidon rose to become a Shofet and savior of Am Yisrael.

Rebbi Akiva lived a major portion of his life as the unlearned son of unlearned gerim and resented talmidei chachamim so much, he could’ve bitten them like a donkey might. Yet he himself became one of the greatest talmidei chachamim ever.

Onkelos started off as non-Jew, then became a righteous ger and one of the most important commentators/translators of the Torah.

In modern times, examples also abound, as described by Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender (in 2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation).

Look at the baal teshuvah movement or the kollel movement, the religious day school movement, the yeshivah movement, or Rav Aharon Margolis’s autobiography (As Long as I Live) about everything he had to overcome in poverty, polio, and disability.

Why Your Talent or Ability Doesn't Always Matter

No matter how beautifully a talented Kohen may play the kinor, he will never be allowed to give up his duties and join the Levite orchestra in the Beit Hamikdash.

The same is true for a Yisrael who possesses the loveliest tenor voice in the universe. He cannot join the Levite choir.

Likewise, no matter how well a Levi or Yisrael suit the qualification of a Kohen (“My feet are naturally warm, I can move my fingers perfectly into the Kohanic position—oh, and have you ever seen how perfectly I sprinkle dam from my innately talented fingers?”), they can never be a Kohen.

Even if you are such a holy person that Hashem fulfills every bracha you utter, you absolutely may not join the Kohanim in blessing the Nation.

Such a transgression will have the opposite effect.

Even today, Kohanim face strictures on who they can marry and where they can go, strictures that don’t apply to others. It’s for their own benefit.

Also, during the times unqualified egoists attempted to fulfill the Kohen Hagadol’s role in the Kodesh Kedoshim, Heaven struck him dead and he needed to be removed by the rope previously tied around his ankle.

Mashiach ben David can ONLY come from the Tribe of Yehudah, specifically the PATERNAL line of David Hamelech.

Someone from a different family within Yehudah or from Shevet Binyamin can be a huge tzaddik and a mind-dazzling miracle worker, but he cannot be Mashiach ben David.

Ever.

When you mix halachic roles, you get into trouble.

A tsnius dress & head-covering aren't the ideal for everyone.

For example, tsnius is a huge ideal for women. Men are obligated in tsnius too, albeit differently and less strictly than women.

A man may certainly decide to excel in tsnius, but if he puts on a pretty floral headscarf and a long flowing skirt, he commits the serious transgression of beged ishah.

Protesting that every last hair follicle is covered and his skirt conforms to the exacting standards of the Chazon Ish does not save him from the sin he has committed.

(Not to mention, the ridiculous spectacle he makes of himself.)

Of Rogue Waves, Olive Groves, Balanced Kohanim, and Wolfish Binyaminim

When Jews were organized into Shevatim (Tribes), there was no need for competition (even if some felt differently).

People had their tafkidim imbued within them from their Shevet.

Zevulun mastered sea travel. Asher excelled in olive production.

We need both. Can you imagine if Asherim or Zevulunim started trading barbs over whose role was more important?

"In Zevulun, we deal with necessary imports and exports! And olive groves are for sissies—have you ever encountered a rogue wave out at sea? Anyway, where would the Torah of Yissachar be without us?"

"Oh yeah? Our Asheri women are fit for High Priests, buster--my twin sister even married one! And where would Am Yisrael or the Kohanim be without olive oil? You want hatavat hanerot for the Menorah? Then you need Asher! Anyway, where do you think all your nifty ointments to deal with rope burns, sunburn, and wounds out at sea come from, eh? Let's see you try and extract some of that out of a rogue wave!"

Pathetic.

What would be the point?

Hashem created both because He WANTS both.

And yes, different roles also come with inherent perks or downsides.

Rashi mentions that Asheri women were often chosen to marry high priests and princes.

Why?

Because the abundance of olive oil products in Asheri territory gave Asheriot the added beauty of gorgeous skin and pleasingly plump figures.

It’s not that a Kohen Gadol or prince only cared about looks. Many Jewish women of that time possessed the character to marry royalty and were beautiful too. (Please see Asher's Beautiful Daughters for more depth.)

Chazal speaks of the innate trait of zerizut in Kohanim, which can be used for good or bad. Kohanim also possess equal amounts of temper and kindheartedness in order to balance out these 2 opposing traits. (Please see Temperament of a Kohen for more.)

In 49:27 of Parshat Vayechi, the Kli Yakar explains:

“…it takes the example of a wolf who preys according to his dietary needs and sometimes he preys and annihilates for no useful purpose, and this is a precious explanation.”

Binyamin’s symbol is a wolf and the Kli Yakar states a negative tendency of Binyamin.

But it doesn’t mean that a Binyamini is innately bad or that this trait is unconquerable.

In fact, one of our gentlest heroines is a Binyaminit—Queen Esther. And Mordechai’s wolfish courage and sense of purpose never denigrated into a destructive free-for-all.

These 2 Binyaminim somersaulted a genocide into a salvation celebration for eternity.

The Structure You Need for Your Personal Journey

Likewise, there are different roles for people based purely on gender or on being a Jew.

Our goals are not competition or egalitarianism.

Our role is to take whatever structure Hashem provided for us (both nationally and individually) and use that structure to bring out our best and achieve our highest potential.

That’s exactly why Hashem put that framework there in the first place.

Not to break it, damage it, or to weasel out of it and steal someone else’s (which won’t fit us anyway) or pretend to be someone else's…

…but to USE and UTILIZE it in the best way possible.

For more, please see:

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Rav Avigdor Miller on Spotting the Snake Slithering through Your World in Parshat Chukat & Loving Yourself and Your Fellow Jews in Parshat Balak

11/7/2019

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Yet again, Rav Miller makes the desert scene and the whole snake fiasco come alive in Parshat Chukat: The Copper Snake.

He explains all about the Copper Snake and its symbolism and what that was all about.

So if you’ve ever wanted to understand what was going on with the fiery biting serpents and then the giant healing Copper Snake, it’s all in there.

Who & What is the Yetzer Hara Today?

But whether it’s the First Nachash in Gan Eden or the fiery serpents biting complainers, snakes are all about dissatisfaction.

And to fight the snakes of dissatisfaction, we need to pump up our gratitude and appreciation.

As usual, I cannot resist quoting Rav Miller’s views on modern American society:

Of course, today, Russia doesn’t have to bother to send spies across the ocean because America has so many lunatics in its government, so many meshugener communists in its educational system and in the public media, that they’re doing the work for free.

They’re doing the work of disrupting the country without being paid.

But in normal times the best way for a spy to operate is by working undercover, by blending in and remaining unnoticed. Only that today the public is so stupid that the lunatics can proclaim it openly, with big headlines.

The Yetzer Hara (the king of the snakes of dissatisfaction) operates as a psychopath.

In the Garden, the Nachash (i.e., the Yetzer Hara when it was external; now it is internal) was obviously a Nachash standing on legs and talking. But he made his personality appealing. Sheker hachen.

He’s sneaky and doesn’t want you to know what he’s really up to. He comes in a much more appealing form—not serpentine at all.

As Rav Miller explains:

Today he appears in the form of a college professor or a neighbor.

Sometimes he’ll even come as a man with a beard and long peyos.

It has to be that way because if the nachash would have continued to exist in the form that it had in the time of the cheit, so we would already know to watch out for that fellow.

We know, “Watch out for him!”
…
And if you don’t look beneath the facade, you will never see the truth.

The falsehoods today fill the world. Big buildings, libraries, universities. And they have the media today to spread their falsehoods.

The sheker fills the world today because he’s choosing the most effective forms possible and he is succeeding.

Wherever you go today you can no longer say the truth - you have to use political correctness when you talk.

A tremendous tolerance of sheker was erected right under our noses.

"One way or another, people have been bitten by the nachash. For one person the nachash of sports has bitten him. For another person it’s clothing or cars or money. Arayos, television, politics, whatever it is, the snake is biting."

Rav Miller on Sports & Travel Vacations

Rav Miller also discusses his opinion on travel vacations (unless you have a real tachlis need to travel to that location).

He admits that it’s not a popular opinion and that he doesn’t meant to offend anyone, but he simply sees it a certain way and feels that point of view should be expressed.

He discusses making the most of your background and your family situation, realizing that the difficulties and obstacles are there to for you to use for spiritual growth.

This is what he says about sports:

You’re thinking, “Maybe the newspapers are reporting important news - maybe I should go out and look in the newspaper.”

The front page talks about a certain man, a top basketball player who was captured by another team. Oooh ah! Big news!

A nobody.

When he went to high school he never attended class - he stood in the schoolyard and practiced basketball. A bum, that’s all.

And this bum is on the front page, and everybody is talking about him.

Or another bum who has nothing in his mind at all, no intelligence at all. Only that when he holds a bat he’s able to smack the ball. He can give the ball a smack and everyone goes crazy.

A homerun! Meshugenahs! It’s nothing!

"And the more you think about that truth, the more we train our minds to combat the yetzer hara that makes what we’re doing seem plain and ordinary, the more we’ve learned the lesson of lifting the copper serpent out from the high grass and placing it on the high pole."

PARSHAT BALAK

For those in Eretz Yisrael, Parshat Balak has arrived.

Rav Miller explains that this is such an important Parsha, Chazal wanted us to say the entire parshah every morning!

He also explains why Hashem is so exacting with Am Yisrael.

That’s one of the reasons church-goers believe they’ve replaced Am Yisrael. Hashem (via the Nevi’im) constantly exhort the Jewish People even as He expresses the most beautiful and profound Love for us in the Universe.

Why Is Hashem So Tough on Us If He Loves Us So Much?

Why do we suffer genocides and pogroms for our sins?

We aren’t nearly as bad as the nations. Sure, they suffer stuff too. But not like us. And we’re not nearly as bad. (Despite what many Jewish periodicals and blogs claim, we really aren’t as bad as the nations!)

So Rav Miller explains that with a convincing mashal of a kallah and a wedding photographer, which is very worth reading inside the dvar Torah booklet. (Seriously. It’s very convincing.)

Then Rav Miller explains:

"But when you grow older, you have to understand the truth of the Torah. And that is that the Am Yisroel is the greatest and purest nation, much more than any nation in the world!"

Many people have been misled, even talmidei chachomim.

I remember once I was saying a drasha in shul and I mentioned that the Dor Hamidbar was beloved by Hashem.

I said that they are called yedidim [friends] and ahuvim [beloved ones].

And this one man, a talmid chochom, finally lost patience with me. He was so angry with me when I said that. “It's against the pesukim what you're saying” he told me. “They didn't know My ways.” He showed me the possuk in the siddur. And how can you blame people for being mislead?

All the seforim in the Torah criticize the Am Yisroel. Terribly!...

...But the maskanah of the gemara is: Asfu li chassidai - Gather in to Me, My devoted ones, the dor hamidbar. They were Hashem’s chassidim.

There’s a reason why Jews are incredibly self-critical.

And as written on this blog before, frum Jews are the most self-critical. And Rav Miller discusses this tendency toward self-criticism (both justified and unjustified) and why we are like that.

So how do we gain some perspective?

Go Tell It from The Mountain

We do like Bilaam and look at ourselves and each other from a distance—from a mountain top:

Let's say, here's a kollel family.

And there's another person standing in the street, a Jew, a frum Jew, and he sees the kollel family. To him it seems like they're human beings. Just like he is.

The children are boisterous, a little wild. The mother is busy cooking and cleaning. And life goes on in their house like any other house.

And therein lies the great error of not appreciating the Am Yisroel.
…
And so, when you look at that kollel family, you'll have to get off the ground.

To understand the greatness of any frum home, you are going to have to get off of the ground and view them with a nobility of mind.

If you go through life without thinking, then you'll never appreciate the Am Yisroel.

It's only when you take a step back, and you see the Am Yisroel with the clear sighted view that Bilam had, that's how you'll appreciate our greatness.

Go, us! Rah, rah, rah! Yaaaayy...US!

Of course, none of this precludes a raw cheshbon hanefesh.

Judaism acknowledges and embraces the innate paradox of our 3-dimensional world.

We need to regularly perform a thoroughly scouring cheshbon hanefesh—yet at the same time, never lose sight of how wonderfully fabulous and profoundly cherished we are.

Rav Miller goes into detail about how to see ourselves & each other in the real light—the way Hashem sees us.

There are no rose-colored glasses here—Rav Miller gives plenty of mussar; he knows our weak points.

It’s about changing your angle of vision.

"Taharas hamishpacha, tzniyus, decency, morality fill the Jewish home. And you hear brachos in that home all day long - a different blessing for every item that you're eating. How beautiful is the Jewish home!"

As always, credit goes to Toras Avigdor for everything, including generous permission to cite this amazing material.

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How to Transform Your Life with Rebbetzin Kanievsky's Advice

Climbing Mountains One Step at a Time

Rav Avigdor Miller's 10 Steps to Greatness

Stream-Lined Advice from the Kaliver Rebbe

“When we say Shema Yisrael and we are unified,there is no need to worry about another Holocaust.”-Rebbe Menachem Mendel Taub ztz”l

The 4 Guidelines of a Hidden Tzaddik

Chabad Path to Salvation

Breslover Baby Steps

Are You Crushed Under a Load of Rocks or Dancing with a Sack of Diamonds?

The Age-Old Secret to Jewish Military Victory (and it's not even such a secret!)

Boys Can Do Surveillance Too

Big Feminist Accomplishment: Girls are So Much Better at Boring, Passive Activity!

The REAL Heroines of Am Yisrael

Just As You Can't Defy Physical Physics Without Going "Splat" (like deciding to ignore gravity and walk off a cliff), You Can't Defy Spiritual Physics & Expect To Get Away With It

Parshat Matot: Mind-Blowing Social Commentary

Great Potential Enables Great Output

What Can Truly Beautiful People Do? Beautiful Acts!

There's Only 1 Definition of Beauty - and That's HASHEM'S Definition

Splat!

The Limping Beauty

The Beautiful Jew in the Ugly Exile

We're Defined by What We DON'T Do

"Germany, ah, Germany..."

"Farewell, Traitorous Homeland!" vs "Germany, ah, Germany..."

"Mitrayim, ah, Mitzrayim..."

The Darker Implications beneath Such Yearning

Breaking COMPLETELY Free of Mitzrayim

The Fiery Danger of Denigrating ANY Gadol

Okay, Fine. I Don't Put Down Other Groups or Their Gadolim, But How Do I Respond When THEY Act Like THEY'RE Superior?

Why Do We Need All These Groups Anyway?

"I'm DONE With Being Just a Thumb!"

So we see from this that if our mere body parts were at all competitive or egalitarian, there would not be one person left alive on the planet.

What Roles Does Hashem Send Us?

What Can You Make of Yourself?

Why Your Talent or Ability Doesn't Always Matter

When you mix halachic roles, you get into trouble.

Of Rogue Waves, Olive Groves, Balanced Kohanim, and Wolfish Binyaminim

Hashem created both because He WANTS both.

The Structure You Need for Your Personal Journey

Who & What is the Yetzer Hara Today?

"One way or another, people have been bitten by the nachash. For one person the nachash of sports has bitten him. For another person it’s clothing or cars or money. Arayos, television, politics, whatever it is, the snake is biting."

Rav Miller on Sports & Travel Vacations

"​And the more you think about that truth, the more we train our minds to combat the yetzer hara that makes what we’re doing seem plain and ordinary, the more we’ve learned the lesson of lifting the copper serpent out from the high grass and placing it on the high pole."

PARSHAT BALAK

Why Is Hashem So Tough on Us If He Loves Us So Much?

"​But when you grow older, you have to understand the truth of the Torah. And that is that the Am Yisroel is the greatest and purest nation, much more than any nation in the world!"

Go Tell It from The Mountain

"Taharas hamishpacha, tzniyus, decency, morality fill the Jewish home. And you hear brachos in that home all day long - a different blessing for every item that you're eating. How beautiful is the Jewish home!"

Myrtle Rising

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“When we say Shema Yisrael and we are unified,
there is no need to worry about another Holocaust.”

-Rebbe Menachem Mendel Taub ztz”l

"And the more you think about that truth, the more we train our minds to combat the yetzer hara that makes what we’re doing seem plain and ordinary, the more we’ve learned the lesson of lifting the copper serpent out from the high grass and placing it on the high pole."

"But when you grow older, you have to understand the truth of the Torah. And that is that the Am Yisroel is the greatest and purest nation, much more than any nation in the world!"