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What is the World of Tikkun?

31/8/2018

One of the major struggles I’ve had since becoming frum is resisting the cultural pull toward “eat, drink, be merry.” (Not so literally—I was never a party lush—but the cultural implication of the phrase.)

The eternal search for leisure time and activities, the perking up at distractions, the ever increasing opportunities for instant gratification in any area…

Funnily, I became frum partly BECAUSE I rejected a life void of meaning.

And I’m still frum because I really believe in this.

I know this is what Hashem wants.

But I can’t deny the double–whammy of both my cultural indoctrination and certain aspects of my personality.

Not everyone suffers from this issue because they have other issues. But this is definitely mine and it’s an issue for a lot of people.

Discover the Purpose of Each World

So I remember at Neve that Rebbetzin Heller once stated:

“This World is for milchama;
the Next World is for menucha.”

(“This World is for war; the Next World is for rest.”)

Or as she emphasized it: “This world is for milchama; the Next World is for menucha.”

And Rebbetzin Heller has proven herself to be quite the spiritual soldier, what with her dedication to teaching, her hospitality, her large family, and more.

So this statement resonated with me because I sensed it was exactly the antidote I needed.

Everything I’d encountered in my upbringing pointed to finding menucha in this world.

Even “Live for today!” and “Follow your dreams!” and “Work hard, play hard!” were about achieving some kind of nachas in this world, even if it was a stress-filled kavod-seeking nachas. I still remember a song whose chorus was: “Fight for your right…to paaaarty!”

So even the fights and riots seen in America in recent years are often just a way to feel strong and superior, to let off steam, and to steal beer, electronics, and toys.

Angry Americans today aren’t fighting against their yetzer hara, they’re fighting FOR their yetzer hara.

Nonetheless, the proper mindset is:
“This World is for milchama; the Next World is for menucha.”

And I’ve been wrestling with it ever since.

Introducing the World of Tikkun

Recently, I listened to a 2012 shiur. And Rebbetzin Heller discussed this idea again in her usual compelling and inspiring way.

She told the story of a female baalat teshuvah in her late thirties who got engaged to a thirtysomething chassidish businessman (whose Chassidic group marries off its young men and women by the age of 20).

After determining that he was indeed a decent guy who simply hadn’t met his zivug until now, they got engaged.

But when they discussed their favorite places in the world, he said he loved San Francisco because of its beautiful bridge.

“I’ve been to San Francisco,” she replied. “The only thing is there are so many gays, it made me feel uncomfortable.”

“Gay people?” he said. “I didn’t think the people there looked so much happier than anywhere else.”

Gulp!

Dread speared into the heart of the kallah. She realized that despite her chassan's wide travels and business savvies, he’d guarded his innocence so well, he could have no idea of her own past. And she dreaded him finding out because she knew she’d feel cheap and repulsive (her words, not mine) when he’d invariably make this discovery.

So Rebbetzin Heller bravely rang up the chassan’s Rebbe and very delicately explained the kallah’s concerns.

“I know exactly what you’re talking about,” the Rebbe said. “I spoke with him about this before he even went out with her. Of course she has a past. How could she not have a past?”

For the kallah's sake, Rebbetzin Heller wanted to know how the chassan felt about it.

“I’ll tell you what I told him,” the Rebbe continued. “This is Olam Hatikkun.” (The World of Fixing/Repair/Rectification.) “Nothing in This World is perfect. Not me. Not him. Not her. Not you. It’s the World of Tikkun. It’s the world where we all have to select where we want to be and who we want to be by rejecting who we don’t want to be and what we aren’t.”

And the chassan accepted it.

Then the Rebbe asserted that if the kallah ever wanted to contact him directly, she could feel free to do so.

So again, the Rebbe's definition of This World as the World of Tikkun:

Reject who you don't want to be.
Reject what you aren't.
Select who you want to be.
Select where you want to be.

Tikkun: It's the Real Thing

Again, just like with Rav Ofer Erez’s book Ahavat Kedumim, this truth removes toxic shame from the whole picture.

Healthy shame, yes.

Toxic shame, no.

Many people comment on how exasperated, frustrated, exhausted, and angry they feel about the constant struggle with a nisayon. (And I can feel this way as much as anyone else.)

In a particularly challenging nisayon, a person can fail many more times than she succeeds. The struggle can feel so worthless and meaningless.

But it’s NOT.

That struggle is exactly what we’re here for: It’s Olam Hatikkun.

It’s a world of stitching, then ripping out stitches, then starting the stitch over again.

It’s sculpting, then mashing everything back into a mound of clay, then starting over again.

It’s painting, then getting nicks, scratches, and holes, then plastering, scraping, and repainting again.

If at all possible, rather than feeling defeated and down on yourself when struggling, you can also feel good and happy (at least a tiny bit) about that feeling of struggle, even as you feel fed up with it.

The 2 Ultimate Questions

Rebbetzin Heller ends the shiur with 2 questions every person must ask herself:

Who am I not?
Who am I?

She explains that according to Chovot Halevovot, the answer to “Who am I?” is:
“I am a person of transcendence.”

And the Chovot Halevavot details 4 qualities regarding this (i.e. that define our portion in the World to Come).

"I am:

my emuna." (i.e., knowing that God is behind everything)
my willingness to give to the other and to affect the other."
my ability to suffer and meet challenges."
my ability to want to know Torah and to live it."

These are the goals.

Your unique path is to find your way to actualize these goals within you.

It’s All Greek To Me - Confronting the Challenges of Contemporary Culture | TorahAnytime.com (the shiur on which this post is based)
Our Purpose in This World
What is the Main Purpose of Your Existence?

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Why God Makes You Wait

30/8/2018

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For a long time, I didn't quite understand the concept of Hashem refraining from fulfilling your request in order to increase your yearning or to test your sincerity (the test being for you, not for Him).

Then at one point, I decided to replace my somewhat modest skirts with truly modest skirts.

The truly modest skirts made me look fatter, but otherwise they were nice-looking. And most importantly of all, they fulfilled halachic requirements.

So they were nice-looking skirts, but I figured that the fat-effect was just part of sacrificing for a mitzvah and even good for me (because I needed to choose halacha over the shifting definitions of beauty.)

Yet a couple of days after this not-cheap self-sacrificing purchase, I noticed that one of the zippers on the new skirt had already busted. Because it was in the back, I'd been walking around with an open zipper without even knowing it. (It wasn't so bad because I wear long shirts, but still.)

Of course, my mind briefly and instinctively hopped to the usual facades of despair: You can't count on Israeli stores to sell you decent merchandise (i.e., this happened because I made aliyah to Eretz Yisrael - a very big mitzvah!), why am I being punished for doing something You claim You WANT?, why does this kind of thing always happen to me? (even though it actually doesn't ALWAYS happen), and so on.

I managed to stop my anti-emuna thoughts (but not my disgruntled feelings), and brought it to a seamstress, who fixed it in a few days.

Then the mild annoyance was over and I've worn them ever since.

Falling Down into Defeat

What are other common thoughts of despair and anti-emuna in this kind of situation?

"See? It wasn't worth it after all."
"This just shows how needlessly extreme I can get about things."
"My former skirts were fine, especially compared to what most women wear. Why do I need to be such a fanatic?"
"Keeping Torah can cause so much aggravation."
"This is too much trouble. Just forget it. I'm going back to my old skirts, which weren't so bad compared to everyone else."
"This is a sign from God that I don't need to go to this extreme. I'm going back to my old skirts."

Just to be clear, we're talking about conforming to the actual halacha, so considering myself some kind of extremist is not logical thinking here. Also, though it's scandalous to say even among some frum people nowadays, tsnius (dressing & behaving with dignity & refinement) is one of those mitzvot that is good to enhance upon yourself. It really does open you up to receive more blessing.

And though it's not mentioned as much, Judaism also obligates men to pay attention to the dignity and refinement of their clothes.

True Motivations Revealed

Looking at things from the above perspective: What if I'd decided to cast aside the new skirts?

What would I be saying?

I'd be saying that I don't REALLY care about dressing spiritually. I don't really care about the halacha.

Maybe I just wanted to feel frum or halachically superior. Maybe I'd heard a particularly inspiring class on the importance of tsnius and I wanted the merits promised, but not enough to really keep to the proper standards.

Maybe my desire for more tsnius skirts was just fleeting inspiration, and not a reflection of my heart's desire.

If you really want something, if it's REALLY important to you and you are sincere about it, then you keep going with it -- even when it's difficult or inconvenient.

And in much bigger things than skirts, sometimes Hashem withholds fulfillment of a request because you need more prayer and chesbon hanefesh to be really ready for it.

When You're Just Not Ready - Yet

This is a bit harsh to say, but I can't help having seen people who were so desperate for a spouse or children. Yet when they finally got it, they themselves end up being a worse spouse or parent than average. It's sort of sad for their spouse or children that they got what they asked for.

Yes, even after all that desperate pleading, they don't really appreciate what they have or what they need to do to keep it. It's a certain lack of gratitude, no?

I've also seen singles and childless couples who, based on the unrealistic demands and expectations they express, are clearly not ready for marriage or children. Their ego-desires control them and may Hashem protect the people who marry or are born to such people.

And it's also true that people who marry or desire children for all the wrong reasons often get a spouse or a baby right away. It's seems like a big chessed, but in some ways, it's not. Some people benefit from waiting and refining themselves in the meantime.

As mentioned in previous posts, Hashem sometimes desires to save a person from himself, and therefore withholds the object of their desire until they are ready (or until they are more ready).

Having said all that, yes, of course I also see people who seem so ready for what they want. So I'm flummoxed as to why Hashem doesn't give it to them.

There is so much we don't know and so much we cannot perceive.

The point is that there are reasons for not fulfilling our requests right away. There are also many more reasons than those discussed here.

There are some very good (good by Torah-definition) things I crave right now, yet Hashem is saying no -- or rather, not yet.

But I know I have more work to do before I can merit them. When I discussed it with Hashem, He let me know what was holding me back regarding one thing I've requested for years. And it's a tall order. But I see His point and even with my limited understanding, I even agree.

Yet other things -- really good things, according to the Torah -- aren't being given...yet. And I don't see why.

I don't like it, but there are things I neither know nor understand.

And that's exactly how it's supposed to be.

It's good. It doesn't feel good. But it's still good.

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The Age-Old Reaction to New Technology

29/8/2018

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New technologies always present challenges to society.

Ambivalence toward technology is normal.

For example, in Laura Ingalls Wilder's fictionalized biography about her husband Almanzo, Farmer Boy, Almanzo's father refuses to use the new-to-the-scene threshing machine for fear it will make people lazy and provide too much empty time. He also considers it an unnecessary expense.

Yet other people loved these new threshing machines for harvesting crops.

In another scene in the series (which took place in America's 1880s), one of the characters laments the "modern" reliance on kerosene, recalling that in her childhood, they made out just fine without kerosene. Candles could be made at home from animal fat. But kerosene offered a nicer and cleaner light.

In a book of poems left by a relative born in 1861, my relative recalls her ambivalence toward the radio in a poem she wrote in 1938:

The Radio
The Radio: Now tell me why
I sometimes feel like slaying it?
Or rather still, tossing it out
Not caring where it lit?

To admit this, I'm ashamed.
But tell me folks, now truly?
Don't you also feel the same
And your heart get quite unruly?
***
The Radio: How blest we are
To have you in our homes;
Where sister, brother, mother, and dad
Can spend an evening with you alone.

No going out to pleasure parks
Or municipal building;
We have our music right at home
With no effort on our part.

Apparently, it depends how the radio is being utilized.

In another 1938 poem, she laments the rising acquirement of cars:

Late Travelers
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve,
Still the autos hurry past.
Why do they turn night into day?
And try to live so fast?

Each driver of these cars
Is a father, husband, or son.
Now, why aren't they enjoying
Their families in their homes?

Is there no lure for a quiet place
In the heart of man no more?
Where mother sits with her sewing
And children play on the floor.

The auto is a wonderful thing.
It has come to us to stay.
But many a home has been shattered
By its ruthless, persuasive sway.

Interestingly, cars were apparently considered more of a male thing in those times. Previously, the man of the family (or older teenage son) drove the horses and wagon due to his greater physical strength. This role as driver apparently transitioned to cars too.

Furthermore, it was more acceptable socially for men to go out and about and to do so at night.

So she saw cars as a downfall for men, with women and children as the innocent victims.

Her ambivalence toward cars and her concern about their effects on men and families in general reflects many people's feelings toward cellphones and Internet today.

Regarding cellphones and Internet, many people today can identify with the last lines of her poem:
It has come to us to stay.
But many a home has been shattered
By its ruthless, persuasive sway.

In fact, her feelings toward both radios and cars reflect society's usual ambivalence toward technological advancements. Some people always hop aboard the new thing, some reject it for as long as they can, while some admire the benefits while showing concern over the downsides.

Trains, planes, ships, telephones, car phones, cellphones, radios, cars, computers, and Internet all brought up the same mix of appreciation and concern expressed above.

I can't remember the source, but I once read that it's debatable whether the Sanhedrin would've allowed cars, given the high rate of death and injury they cause. (The doubt was regarding personal cars, not emergency vehicles.) And today, many yeshivahs prohibit their students from getting a drivers license due to the same concerns expressed in the poem above.

Yet a car is considered a right today. And in many areas, it's even a necessity.

So yes, today's technology is new.

But its impact on society is not new (although it's increasingly more intense and pervasive than previous technology, but the core impact itself is not new).

Related links:
How to Resist the Attraction of "New!" & Why You Really Should
Discover the Ancient Danger of "New!"

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Discover the Ancient Danger of "New!"

28/8/2018

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As explained in a previous post, one of the most powerful tools of the Yetzer Hara is "New!"

Some of the most harmful ideologies have used this.

Nazism promoted itself as a new solution to old problems. Combining nationalism with socialism was presented as the best way to achieve equality in society -- at least for those deemed Aryan, anyway.

New cars! New vacation opportunities! New laws for factory works!

In reality, Nazism derived much of its ideology from pagan occult traditions. Even its infamous swastika is just the old Buddhist symbol for death and decline.

And its hatred of Jews was nothing new either.

Communism also touted itself as a new solution to old problems. But it turned totalitarian fairly quickly. "Rob from the rich and give to the poor" is not a new concept, nor is the idea that the government owns your stuff and can parcel it out according to whim.

Old Tyranny with a New Twist

The problem comes when new gets mixed with old.

For example, in the above example of Nazism, the VW bugs produced in Germany were indeed a new kind of car. (Cars in general were newer to the scene.) And the idea of parceling out cars to citizens was technically a new idea.

But the foundation for Nazi ideology was pretty old. And the idea of catering to a chosen populace over another populace is also pretty old and overdone.

Thus, the means for carrying out these ideologies and methods were new, but the ideologies and methods themselves were not new.

The Old-New "Liberated" Woman

Likewise, feminism presented itself as "New!"

They peppered their propaganda with persuasive words related to "new": "Remarkable! Revolutionary! Discover! The New Woman!"

("Self-discovery" was and still is a big hit with them.)

Yet much of what they presented as new wasn't actually so new. It was old with a new twist.

Women & Housework
For example, the idea of "freeing" women from domestic chores? Women who could afford it have been doing that since time immemorial.

The modern twist was that rather than being born or marrying into such financial capability, feminists wanted women themselves to earn it.

Women & Paid Work
Likewise, there have always been working women. There have even been women were the main breadwinners, either because they were widows or for some Jewish women of yore, because they wanted their husbands to learn Torah full-time.

The modern twist was that feminists wanted this for all women.

Women & Respected Professions
Throughout the ages, you can find women who fulfilled professional jobs of authority. There were ruling queens, doctors, lawyers, sailors, soldiers, storekeepers, printers, teachers, and more.

Massachusetts midwife Martha Ballard would be called a "healer" in today's lingo, but back then, her ability to also treat disease was simply part of what a midwife did -- and something she did quite successfully. According to what she writes in her diary during the years 1785-1812, she was clearly considered a respected medical professional & colleague by the male doctors who knew her.

And the modern twist?

Feminists wanted access for all women to any profession they desired -- and this included access to the education necessary for the desired profession.

This coincided with increased opportunities for males, BTW. Unless they hailed from the "right" class, many males throughout the ages never managed to achieve professions, education, prestige, or other opportunities outside their limited station.

So the expansion of opportunities for women actually coincided with expanding opportunities for men, and wasn't just a feminist thing nor just a feminist accomplishment.

Women & Childcare
And since time immemorial, women who could afford to hired others to care for their children. Yes, the mothers and caretakers and children remained on the same property, often in the same building together. But wet-nurses, nursemaids, nannies, and governesses often fulfilled the roles that mothers otherwise fill. Even today, many women who can afford it do hire a nanny or two.

In Dov B. Lederman's remarkable book, These Children are Mine: A Story of Survival and Rescue, Lederman remembers his childhood governess and their walks to the park. He also remembers kindergarten as a "newfangled invention," recalling that children generally started school at the age of 7.

In fact, Lederman recalls overhearing his mother speaking to someone about "the horror of taking a child away from his parents and sending him to kindergarten at a tender age."

(But please note that even as Lederman's mother opposed kindergarten, the responsibility for her child did not rest on her alone 24/7; she hired a governess to lighten that responsibility.)

And that's the modern twist.

Many working women couldn't (and still can't) afford to hire a nanny to their home. So they searched outside the home for babysitting and daycares and preschools (which didn't exist in the quantities and quality they do now). Nowadays, these are popular options in modern society. But having your child physically far away from you -- even an hour's traveling time between mother and child -- is the norm. No longer under the same roof, the child is part of a group and hopefully receives the necessary care and attention as one of several.

So What is the Real "New" for Women's Roles?

So none of the above is "new" as in "Never before seen!" or "Unprecedented!" or "Revolutionary!" or "Breakthrough!"-- which is how the above is presented to society.

What's new is the following:

Breadth (widespread; the above is embraced by most women in modern society)
Acceptability (Female lawyers, for example, are no longer an oddity.)
Opportunity (Women - and men, for that matter - can access opportunities previously available only to upper-class white men.)

Acceptability & Opportunity also mean that discrimination is down. It's down for everyone at this point (except for white males). In fact, some companies and departments actively seek out female students and employees.

Long-distance separation between mothers & children (although even this occurred in some areas during certain eras, such as British colonists in India sending young children to boarding schools in England or widowed parents placing their children in orphanages to meet the children's physical and educational needs, even if the parents made regular visits)
Group care (although, again, children in boarding schools or orphanages received group care)

Therefore, certain attitudes and methods common today are different, but the actual ideas (women investing time and energy in something other than domestic responsibilities or hiring another person to carry out specific maternal responsibilities) aren't new at all.

The Old Danger of "New!"

The problem for frum Jews in all this is that when something is presented as completely new, it appears that there isn't any precedence for it.

Therefore, it gives the impression of not being covered by Chazal or halacha or mussar.

And if it appears to not be addressed by Torah sources, then where does the frum Yid feel he or she should look to for guidance?

To psychologists. Consultants. Researchers. Teachers.

Secular professionals, in other words. (Or frum professionals taught secular theories.)

This is a problem, though it doesn't look like one at first.

The more something is "new," the less likely it is to be found in Torah sources...because it's new, right? It wasn't around during the composition of the Shulchan Aruch. It's not there, so we just have to come up with stuff on our own!

But as stated in a previous post, Chazal do discuss working mothers and this idea is even mentioned in Mishlei/Proverbs.

It's very important to hold out against the flood of "New!"

It's not good (or even true) when we think we're outside or above Torah.

Bubby vs the Fire-Truck Feminists

I heard of a chassidish family in the Sixties who lived in an area in which feminists demanded the right to become firemen. The chassidish teens watched in fascination as these feminists raced around town in shiny red fire trucks.

The news outlets raved about it and it all seemed very exciting.

So the kids ran home and enthused about it to their old chassidish grandmother, who'd lived through 2 world wars and survived a death camp before finding refuge in America.

She'd seen all the "modern" movements come and go and she knew just how to handle them. (She also knew first-hand how extremely destructive these things tend to be.)

So Bubby said, "Well, I don't know about female fire fighters. So let's go look it up in the Shulchan Aruch."

That immediately set things into an interesting perspective. What could the Shulchan Aruch have to say about female fire fighters? After all, this was new!

At the same time, that immediately took some air out of the feminist sails. Maybe it wasn't actually so new?

Let's go see!

So Bubby opened the book and read the appropriate passages, then said, "You know, all I see here is that if there's a fire, then anyone who can needs to help put it out. It doesn't matter if you're male or female. If there's a fire and you can extinguish it, then you're obligated to do so."

Oh.

Well then...it's just another halachic obligation.

Put into that perspective, then the modern twist is NOT the idea of a female fire fighter, but the idea of a fire-fighting force at all. In fact, the trucks and sirens themselves are suddenly "new"! (They weren't around in the time of the Shulchan Aruch either.)

Except that they aren't so new because the kids had been born into the existence of a fire department and indeed, horse-drawn fire engines had preceded trucks by decades.

Meh.

Then Bubby commented that she didn't see the point of racing around town in fire trucks with the sirens blaring if you're anyway obligated to put out a fire if you can.

And maybe there was concern whether these women had the physical strength to deal with the high-pressure fire hose, climb the ladder wearing cumbersome equipment, drag heavy people or more than one person at a time to safety.

There was possibly even concern about the danger to life and property if a fire emergency occurred while the trucks were already occupied with these feministy non-fire-emergency purposes (which also makes the trucks low on gas, etc.).

And that just took the wind of out the sails completely.

It's not new, it's not that big a deal, so...who cares? What's all the hype?

So instead of seeing them as remarkable or glorious, the chassidish kids were able to see these fire-truck feminists for what they actually were: useless show-offs wasting time and vital community resources.

So when something is promoted as "New!" (or any synonym thereof), it's a good idea to look behind the hype and discover whether it's merely the same old Yetzer Hara trussed up in a new disguise.

Related Posts:
The True History of Women's Work
New-Age Nazis

Hibernia Fire Engine Company No. 1, America, 1859. By Digital Library @ Villanova University - originally posted to Flickr as Hibernia steam fire engine and horses., CC BY-SA 2.0, Link

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How to Resist the Attraction of "New!" & Why You Really Should

27/8/2018

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Several years ago, I sat in a class given by Rebbetzin Heller in which she made the point that "New!" is a powerful tool to attract people to a certain movement or ideology.

And indeed, inserting the word "New!" is a proven method for prompting a blog post, video, or product to go viral. (Or at least, increase attention or sales.)

In fact, studies show that the 5 most persuasive words in the English language are:

You
Free
Because
Instantly
New

In Rebbe Nachman's arguably most famous story, The Lost Princess, the struggling hero comes across a spring of what seems to be wine.

Now, he'd seen wine before and he'd seen springs before, but he'd never seen a wine-spring.

Ooh, shiny! New! Intriguing!

As it says:

...and he saw a running spring, and its color was red and the smell was of wine. He asked the servant, "Have you seen? This is a spring, and there ought to be water in it, but its color is red and the smell is of wine!"

Our hero (who is actually us) is on a specific mission and he'd even received clear instructions NOT to drink any wine on this last day. He could eat and drink, just not wine.

But the main thing is to avoid sleep at all costs.

So our struggling hero (who is actually us) -- even though he KNEW to listen to the Princess's instructions and warnings because he'd already failed the year before by eating forbidden apples and falling asleep, and even though he KNEW this was just a distraction from his mission, nonetheless -- our struggling hero decides to make an intellectual, objective study of this unusual phenomenon (which has nothing to do with his urgent mission and is of absolutely no benefit to him or the world) and then:

And he went and tasted from the spring and fell and immediately slept for several years...

NOOOOO!

Alas.

As Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender explains in Leviat Chen:

...it's forbidden to become delayed and investigate, but one must hurry because [this part of the story] represents being forbidden to ask and desire and understand because it's impossible to in any way understand everything intellectually – one must only rely on emuna to do what needs to be done.

And here, on the last day, the Princess had commanded him to guard himself and so on. And if so, it was forbidden for him to ask and investigate the matter of the spring, but only to fulfill what was necessary and to go extract her.

For when we investigate a matter, we are possibly trying to explain it away as not being so horrible, and thus we don't completely negate it.

And in this way, we are liable to stumble.

This is so normal and common for people to do. (People struggling with, for example, overeating or drug addiction probably recognize the above pattern.)

So what does Rav Bender advise instead, based on the lessons of this story?

...to flee from the taavot as one flees from fire, without pondering over, marveling at, or inquiring into them at all.
And he shouldn't let his thoughts confound him at all.
...he should just turn his mind away from them completely and steer his mind to divrei Torah or business dealings or conversations and the like until he is rescued from what he wants to be rescued.
And one must be a person of unwavering determination [akshan gadol] until he comes out victorious in this war.

Keep Your Mitzvot Fresh & Lush

As always, Judaism insists on us rising above superficial understanding.

Does the above mean we should go through life as unthinking horses with blinders?

NO.

We can of course ask, desire, investigate, and seek to understand divrei kedushah, things connected with our soul-journey and spiritual work. It's a great mitzvah to delve into Torah and to stretch our minds to understand halacha and to understand what we need to do to achieve self-improvement and rectification.

We should contemplate the best way to help others according to THEIR needs, rather than our own.

We are supposed to develop strategies to avoid lashon hara and use complex thinking to find the good points in others.

We need to brainstorm and work out the best ways to keep our routine mitzvot (like davening and brachot) fresh and new.

But it needs to be focused investigation and seeking, not just indulging our curiosity about everything that comes across our path.

Discover Your Unique Path

In fact, Rebbe Nachman himself emphasized the importance of staying "young" on the inside, of approaching each new day and each new opportunity to do a mitzvah with enthusiasm -- as if it were literally "new."

He also spoke of taking less-traveled paths in avodat Hashem and this is also hinted at in the above story when our struggling hero spots "a path off to the side" and takes it, which fortuitously leads him to the Palace of the Not Good, where he finally finds the Princess for the first time.

Yet this path off to the side IS the avodat Hashem. It's part of one's tikkun (rectification) and the way to access it is only via hitbodedut -- talking to Hashem in your own words using your personal self-expression.

In other words, the path isn't "new," per se; it's unique.

Because Hashem created us all as unique individuals, no human being can have exactly the same relationship with Hashem as anyone else.

Your relationship with Him is unique to anyone else's relationship with Him.

The Old-New Tricks

Yet what does the Yetzer Hara use to reel us in?

"New!"
"Intriguing!"
"Ever tried this before?"
"The newest results of our most recent investigation!" ("Most recent" is just another way of saying "new.")
"Never before attempted!"
"Introducing..." (Implies that it's new because it needs to be "introduced.")
"Instantly!"
"Suddenly..." (It wasn't there a moment ago -- it's new!)
"Revolutionary!"
"Discover!" (You don't discover something already known, only something new.)

The entertainment industry reels us in this way, as does advertising. But so many science articles with all their intellectual grandstanding also reel us in this way too, as you likely recognized from the above examples, some version of which are commonly found in prestigious peer-reviewed science publications.

Barak Obama won his presidency pretty much based on "New!"

"Change" implies something new on the way and also the idea of "America's first black president!" implies something new, although it's a misleading moniker because he is white as much as he is black, being biracial.

But much of what is presented as "New!" is actually the same old stuff, just with a modern twist.

An Age-Old Insight

Our goal is how David Hamelech described tzaddikim millennia ago in Psalm 92:

עוֹד יְנוּבוּן בְּשֵׂיבָה; דְּשֵׁנִים וְרַעֲנַנִּים יִהְיוּ

They shall still bring forth fruit in old age, they shall be full of sap and fresh.

It's a bit hard to convey in the English, but the Hebrew brings forth imagery of lushness and fullness.

Picture a fruit-bearing tree that's eternally young and dripping with sap, its leaves lush and green with moisture, and bursting with juicy fruits.

That's our spiritual goal for ourselves.

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The Kav Hayashar's Prayer for Humility

26/8/2018

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Ga'avah (haughtiness, pride, arrogance) is one of the traits that distances us from Hashem more than any other.

And according to any mussar book, it's also one of the hardest traits to uproot.

So any steps we can take in the direction toward humility and away from gaavah are really good.

Gratitude toward God is one of the most effective ways to immediately & enjoyably deflate gaavah.

And the Kav Hayashar 7 Stanza 12 offers us inspiration and a prayer to improve in this all-important area:

עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְהִתְפַּלֵּל לִזְכּוֹת לְמִדָּה זוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתַב הֶחָסִיד בַּסֵּפֶר "שַׁלְהֶבֶת", לוֹמַר אַחַר הַתְּפִלָּה קֹדֶם "יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי פִי": רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, זַכֵּנִי לְמִדַּת עֲנָוָה וּלְמִדַּת הַכְנָעָה, כְּדֵי שֶׁאֶהְיֶה מְקֻבָּל וּמְרֻצֶּה לָעָם. וְאַחַר כָּךְ יֹאמַר: "יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן וְכוּ'". וּבֶאֱמֶת שֶׁצָּרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְהִתְגַּבֵּר בִּתְפִלָּתוֹ בִּבְכִי וְתַחֲנוּנִים לִפְנֵי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, שֶׁיָּסִיר מִמֶּנּוּ מִדַּת הַגַּאֲוָה וְיִדְבַּק בְּמִדַּת הָעֲנָוָה, כִּי הָרֹב בַּעֲלֵי גַּאֲוָה מֵתִים בַּחֲצִי יְמֵיהֶם. וְהָעִנְיָן, בַּעֲבוּר שֶׁזֶּהוּ בְּוַדַּאי כָּל הַמִּתְגָּאֶה הוּא שָׂנאוּי בְּעֵינֵי הַבְּרִיּוֹת, כִּי זֶה הוּא עִנְיָן רַע בְּעֵינֵיהֶם הַמִּנְהָג שֶׁל בַּעַל גַּאֲוָה, וּמַמְשִׁיךְ עָלָיו שִׂנְאַת הַבְּרִיּוֹת, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה יָכוֹל לְהוֹצִיא אוֹתוֹ מִן הָעוֹלָם, וְגַם אִם עָלְתָה לוֹ תַּאֲוָתוֹ לִהְיוֹת רֹאשׁ הַקָּהָל אוֹ מוֹרֵה צֶדֶק לַעֲדָתוֹ, אַךְ בַּעֲבוּר גַּאֲוָתוֹ כֻּלָּם נֶחְשָׁבִים לְאַיִן כְּנֶגְדּוֹ, וּמְזַלְזֵל בִּכְבוֹד הַבְּרִיּוֹת, אֲשֶׁר גַּם זֶה הוּא סִבָּה לְקִצּוּר יָמָיו וּשְׁנוֹתָיו, רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלַן.

Therefore a person must pray that he merit this trait. The pious author of the sefer Shalheves (i.e., the Shlah) writes that at the end of the Amidah, before reciting, “May the words of my mouth be acceptable, etc.,” one should say this meditation:
“Master of the Universe, allow me to merit the traits of humility and contrition so that I will be acceptable and desirable to the people.” Afterwards, let him recite, “May the words, etc.”

In truth, a person should pray fervently to the Holy One Blessed Be He with tears and entreaties asking that He free him of arrogance and help him acquire humility.

For as a rule, arrogant people live out only half their years. The reason for this is that they are generally hated by others. This causes them to be removed from the world.

And even if such a person achieves his desire to become head of the community or rabbi of his congregation, his pride causes him to think of those under him as nothing and to belittle their honor. This is another factor in the shortening of his life span, may Heaven spare us.

So here is the short little prayer for humility below in downloadable images (in both Hebrew and English). For the Hebrew, feel free to change the verbs to feminine form if you're female, so that the Hebrew prayer would read:
Ribbono Shel Olam, zakeni l'middat anavah u'l'middat hachna'ah k'dei sheh aheyeh mekubelet u'mrutzah l'Am.

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Breaking Down Core Jewish Concepts

24/8/2018

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UPDATE: Upon re-reading this post, I realized it wasn't so clear, so I added more to it late Friday morning (Israel-time), along with correcting some typos. So what follows is the new & improved version...

I'm not Breslov, but I get concerned about how people write off core Jewish concepts as being "Breslov" and therefore considered non-obligatory or not even worth examining.

While I've only read parts of Rebbe Nachman's Likutei Moharan, I've still read a lot of Breslov writings (including parts of Likutei Moharan) and as a non-Breslover, I came to the following conclusion:

Rebbe Nachman basically detailed and fleshed out much of what was already written in previous mussar books and other guidance by Chazal.

He emphasized certain concepts and further elucidated them.

And that seems to be the Breslov tradition: Taking core concepts and breaking them down into more and more digestible bits according to the needs of that particular generation.

Breaking It Down

When embarking on real self-scrutiny for the first time via talking to Hashem, you really can get these intense "Uh-oh" moments about yourself, and much of what Rebbe Nachman says about this phenomenon is very reassuring and encouraging.

Again, he simply takes core Jewish concepts of how self-scrutiny and self-improvement work, the ups and downs, the deceptive pitfalls, then he details them AND how to deal with it all.

All sorts of ideas and principles seem less and less self-understood in each successive generation, so with each successive generation of Breslov, you have a couple of rabbis who break these core ideas and their previous break-downs into even smaller more digestible bites.

For example, a book like Outpouring of the Soul by Reb Alter Teplicker further condenses and elucidates the same concepts mentioned in Torah and Chazal, which were then condensed and expounded upon by Rebbe Nachman. So Outpouring of the Soul is yet another link on that chain.

I remember the first time I read Outpouring of the Soul and a powerful impulse to talk to Hashem welled up within me, but I didn't know what to do with it. I opened my mouth, but I felt like a massive wave of spiritual and emotional pain was behind whatever I would say and I instinctively closed my mouth and got distracted with something else. I didn't mean to, it just happened like that.

Yet I would occasionally go back to the book, feel inspired to speak to Hashem in the way described, but couldn't do it for some reason.

Years later, I read Garden of Emuna, and that changed everything for me. Rav Shalom Arush took the same concepts and both simplified and expanded on them in regular non-scholarly language, practically spoon-feeding them to those who, like me, needed that spoon-feeding.

His book explains the core Jewish concepts with which many struggle in great detail: why bad things happen to good people, why do I feel like I'm being punished for being frum, why do I feel like I'm being punished for doing the right thing, how can I relate to Hashem as Compassionate and Loving when such awful things happen in the world, how can it be reassuring to know that Hashem is behind even the bad stuff -- that's sounds even scarier, so what's up with that?

And so on.

Digestible Emuna

Rav Arush also offered a get-down-to-basics easy-to-follow structure for hitbodedut:

20 minutes of gratitude
20 minutes of self-scrutiny & confession
20 minutes of requests

The truth is, he pares things down even more by telling people to make a list of 20 things for which they're grateful when they feel too emotionally blocked to do anything else.

There's even a book that plucks out the "gems" of Garden of Emuna for a super quick reference.

I'll give you an example of how this chain of increasing elucidation works by using Gate of Joy in Orchot Tzaddikim, (pg. 177 & 213 in the Feldheim translation):

The trait of joy encompasses a positive commandment of acknowledging God's Justice in all that befalls one, as is written (Devarim 8:5): "And you shall know in your heart that just as a man chastises his son, so Hashem your God chastises you."

If after one repents, things do not go so well for him as they did before, it is a positive commandment for him to think in his heart that his adversity is for the good.

For before he repented, the Holy One Blessed Be He was rewarding him for the mitzvot he had done in order to bar him from the World to Come, as it is written (Devarim 7:10): "And He pays those that hate Him to his face to destroy him."

And corresponding to this treatment of those who hate Him, he pays those who love Him the punishment of their transgressions in This World so that they will be pure and clean for the Next World.

And all of this entails the trait of joy, one's being happy in the portion allotted him by the Blessed One.

***
Similarly, when one undergoes any affliction [yissurim], he should also rejoice as our Sages have said...(Taanit 8a) "All who rejoice in afflictions bring salvation to the world."

And one should accustom his mouth to say, "This too is for the good - gam zo l'tovah" (Taanis 21a).

As you can see, the above is exactly what Rav Shalom Arush continuously discusses. In fact, Garden of Emuna goes on at length about the phenomenon mentioned in Orchot Tzaddikim:

If after one repents, things do not go so well for him as they did before, it is a positive commandment for him to think in his heart that his adversity is for the good.

And Rav Arush's emphasis on thanking Hashem for the good as well as the bad, and its power to sweeten dinim?

It's blatantly stated in Orchot Tzaddikim, which derives it from the Gemara (Taanit 8a):

"All who rejoice in afflictions bring salvation to the world."

"Kol hasameach b'yissurim meivi yeshuah l'olam."

"כל המשמח ביסורים מביא ישועה לעולם"

And before that, the Chumash itself.

But because of all the influences and confusion and superficiality and lack of daat in our generation, we need things broken down and explained down to the nitty-gritty.

And if we're willing to accept this spoon-feeding rather than just ignoring it all and dismissing everything as "only for very great people" or "that applied to previous generations, not ours," then that's very good!

For example, the first excerpt above of Orchot Tzaddikim is pretty much all there is on that specific issue. He says what he says there, then goes on to another aspect of joy. Yet reading the above, I'd have some obstructive questions before I could act upon his directives.

Sure, I could've taken that excerpt and discuss it with Hashem to reveal answers to my questions, but I didn't have the presence of mind to realize even this.

So I'm no different than anyone else and without Garden of Emuna, I would not have been able to go back and understand the classic mussar texts.

In his lectures, Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender did the same prior to Rav Arush.

Rav Ofer Erez also breaks down core ideas to a more digestible size.

So for me, that's what Breslov does for the non-Breslover.

It's just a way of them holding your hand as you make your way through the thorny, pitted path of teshuvah, self-improvement, and coming closer to Ribbono Shel Olam.

An online Hebrew-English version of Orchot Tzaddikim is available HERE.

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A Real Jewish Grandmother, Moroccan-Style

23/8/2018

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A mountain view of Afula, Eretz Yisrael

After everyone came from Morocco to Eretz Yisrael, my mother-in-law's widowed mother resided in an apartment in Afula to be near her son and his family.

My mother-in-law, her brother and his wife all took turns caring for the pious elderly lady.

For example, she was strict not to utter one word before netilat yadayim in the morning. Even when she had something urgent to say, she held back until her hands were washed.

Once, she woke up agitated and gestured for my mother-in-law (whose turn it was to care for her in the Afula apartment) to quickly prepare the netilat yadayim because she had something urgent to say.

My mother-in-law washed her hands, then her elderly mother said, "Your mother-in-law just passed away."

My husband's paternal grandmother had been living with my mother-in-law and father-in-law since their marriage (because the paternal grandmother's own husband had passed away a few months before their marriage -- actually, they'd been living with her; it the home of the paternal grandparents home that my mother-in-law moved into after the wedding).

"What?" said my mother-in-law. "How do you know?"

"I was just told in a dream," her elderly mother answered.

And my mother-in-law soon discovered that it was true. My husband's paternal grandmother had passed away early that morning.

Family lore has it that my mother-in-law's parents had been so wealthy that her mother never wore the same dress twice. I don't know if that is literally true. (It could be that she was in robes much of the time and only wore an actual dress for going out. Because otherwise, how you could you have hundreds of dresses you only wear once?)

But after wearing a dress once, she gave it away to the other women in the area. In this way, even the poorest woman from the most struggling family was always beautifully dressed.

But after a profound trauma caused by the Yishmaelites that killed her husband, the double-trauma of sudden widowhood preceded by the initial trauma thrust her into a deep depression. Amid the chaos and confusion, the the family lost all their money. My mother-in-law was only 6 and pulled out of school, never to return and receive an education. Her older brothers were sent to family in Algeria.

But back to the apartment in Afula...

One day, my mother-in-law noticed her mother staring out the widow and frowning. Then her mother called to her and asked my mother-in-law to quickly prepare 6 tomato-and-margarine sandwiches.

(That was all they had back then in Israel's immigrant neighborhoods in the early 1970s. My husband took such sandwiches to school every day. Butter and even the current staple of spreadable white cheese on bread was too expensive for the average immigrant in those times.)

"Now take the sandwiches down to that Arab sweeping the streets," her elderly mother said.

Perplexed yet dutiful, my mother-in-law did so. The Arab streetsweeper responded with joyful surprise and heartfelt thanks, then my mother-in-law went back upstairs to her mother.

When my mother-in-law asked her mother why she needed to do that, her mother answered, "Don't you know that I always keep a lookout for signs of hunger in any living creature? And if I see they're hungry, I feed them. And when I give them food, I always pray that Hashem should behave with my descendants in the same way: Just as I show compassion and feed all who are hungry, so too should the Creator make sure that my descendants are never hungry."

In Morocco, if she passed by even a donkey that looked hungry, she would feed it.

I must admit that sometimes I entertain myself by trying to imagine this extremely refined beautifully dressed pious Jewish lady standing on a dusty road in Tafilalet and putting food in the mouth of a snappish, grumpy donkey. (Don't they bite? Aren't they kind of bad-tempered?)

Tafilalet, Morocco (By AJFT - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9506504)

Anyway, this is clearly the ideal grandmother. Talk about looking out for your offspring!

Moreover, her method seems to have worked.

Looking at our own family and the offspring of her other sons and my mother-in-law, even if people aren't rich, they also don't suffer any serious lack. In fact, one of my husband's sisters married someone whose family had won the lottery and there are other grandchildren and great-grandchildren who are doing quite well financially.

Her natural Jewish concern for others, whether it was making sure the women in her area felt good about themselves by providing them with beautiful clothing, an act which prevented envy and ensured that even the poorest & most nebbuchy woman still looked beautiful for her husband or actively seeking out signs of hunger in all Hashem's creations in order to nourish them, this woman embodied a good Jewish heart.

(Also, I must commend her that in sharing her own clothing with everyone, it meant that she never stood out as the best-dressed because everyone was dressed like her, which shows an admirable resistence to showing-off.)

My mother-in-law's mother was tried with both the nisayon of wealth and the nisayon of financial struggle, and she dealt with both admirably by holding on to her empathy and compassion no matter what.

May we all succeed in all our nisayonot -- and may we all succeed in doing teshuvah without nisayonot!

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Is What Happened to the Ancient Egyptians Also Happening Now?

22/8/2018

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Recently, I came across a section in the Kav Hayashar that describes the 10 consequences that will happen to those who oppress the Jewish people, just as these 10 consequences happened to the ancient Egyptians who oppressed Am Yisrael.

Symbolized by the 10 pieces of chametz placed around the home the night before Pesach on Bedikat Chametz (they also symbolize the 10 Plagues), the Kav Hayashar explains the following in Chapter 89:

וְקַבָּלָה הִיא בְּיָדִי מִן רַבּוֹתַי, שֶׁהָיוּ מְצַוִּים לְהַנִּיחַ חָמֵץ בַּעֲשָׂרָה מְקוֹמוֹת, נֶגֶד עֲשָׂרָה מַכּוֹת שֶׁהֵבִיא הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא עַל הַמִּצְרִים, וּכְנֶגֶד עֲשָׂרָה דִּינִים שֶׁהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא עָתִיד לְבַעֵר וּלְנַעֵר וְלִכְרוֹת וּלְהַמֵּם, לַהֲרֹס וְלַעֲקֹר וְלִנְתֹץ וְלִנְתשׁ וּלְכַלּוֹת וּלְקַעֲקֵעַ בֵּיצָתָם שֶׁל מְצֵרֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל

We have an oral tradition that our mentors used to order that leaven bread [chametz] be left in ten places. This corresponds to the ten plagues that the Holy One Blessed Be He brought upon the Egyptians as well as the ten judgments with which He will one day punish those who oppressed Israel. That is, He will 1) eradicate them, 2) shake them out, 3) cut them off, 4) confound them, 5) destroy them, 6) uproot them, 7) shatter them, 8) abandon them, 9) finish them off and 10) uproot their tessticles.

[Note: The translation for #10 is as found on Sefaria, which I believe originates with the original Metzuda text. But many thanks to an astute reader who enlightened me that this term commonly means just "to totally uproot" -- meaning, "to totally uproot their roots." The example given was Rashi on Beresheis 32:26 HERE. -- MR]

It occurred to me these judgments seem to be happening now.

True, we're not seeing them in full, but perhaps we are seeing the beginning of this process.

Our enemies, though they also attack us, mostly fight each other, eradicating each other. They're uprooting each other and shaking each other out, so to speak.

Earthquakes (a definite form of shaking) have been occurring all over, but it can't be denied they've also happened in places that contain they who oppose Israel, whether for religious reasons or political (Leftist) reasons.

And in fact, the above list strikes those who oppose the core VALUES of Yisrael, whether they politically support the State of Israel or not. And many places stricken by the above definitely reject Torah values.

Furthermore, with gender-change surgeries on the rise, we are certainly seeing a rise in the literal uprooting of the male part.

And the people who opt for these radical surgeries are people who oppose Torah values with all their might, with leaders bent on coercing the rest of society to think like them.

"Confound them" -- society is certainly becoming more and more confounded, isn't it?

Shocking things happen and no one on either side quite knows how to respond.

Just as one of many examples, President Trump's rapid ascendancy certainly confounded a great many Leftists to the point that we've seen the rise in something coined "Trump Derangement Syndrome."

And look at how many people are on psychotropic medication, especially children.

Drinking has been a problem for decades, but now there's also what's called an "opium epidemic."

People feel they can't manage life on their own.

Suicide is up among youth in America, one of the world's best places to live.

It all fits the above, except that instead of getting hit by a storm of hail, locusts, or frogs, people are doing it to themselves. (Although yes, the wildfires and volcanoes and earthquakes aren't being caused by humans.)

While those on the political right in support of traditional values (some of whom are also Jew-haters and despise our pure monotheism) view the above as a type of persecution (as I do) and a war on traditional values, I'm starting to wonder whether maybe it's not so much an attack on us, but Heavenly Judgement being carried out against them.

True, we're affected by their meshugas, but it seems like they're actually suffering more, even if they don't realize it. Or even if they misidentify the source of their suffering.

For example, those suffering from gender confusion point to society's nonacceptance of their dysphoria as the source of their suffering, but the truth is that the source of their suffering is their own dysphoria and their unwillingness to take an honest look at what really needs to be healed.

At least we have the Torah. We have Hashem. We have emuna.

What do they have?

Nothing.

As things start shaking up, confounding, uprooting, shattering, abandoning, destroying, we have the unbreakable Cord of Emuna on which to grasp tight.

They have nothing.

And this Cord of Emuna is available to anyone who wants to grasp on to it.

Anyone. You just have to grab it.

Ashreinu! Mah tov chelkeinu!

May Hashem bring the Geula in a sweet way.

Note: Sorry for the inconvenience, but my filter is inconsistent and some words can get me blocked from my own blog page and I won't be able to respond to your comments. So if you could use coded language or misspelled words (as I did above), that would be best. Sorry again.

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The Jewish Spark in Haifa

21/8/2018

7 Comments

When we first got married, my Moroccan-Israeli husband and I traveled around Eretz Yisrael, meeting his family in different places.

In Haifa, we visited one of his cousins, the daughter of his father's sister, who was around 25 years older than my husband. She lived in an upper class apartment and looked secular. Impressed by her sweet and intelligent manner, I liked her right away.

As we sat down at the table in a kitchen filled with gentle sunlight, her teenage son swept in just then, wearing a leather jacket and holding a motorcycle helmet.

She invited him to join us, which he did. He greeted us very politely, then kept his head down the rest of the time. He behaved toward his mother with deference as she served him his hot lunch.

I was surprised to see a modern youth with longish hair and a black T-shirt behave in such a refined and respectful manner, which made me like him and his mother even more.

When she wanted to serve us fruit, my husband good-naturedly inquired whether it had undergone maaser (tithing). (This is an issue in Eretz Yisrael, where you can't even partake of something neutral like an apple or a cucumber without checking for maaser, which is why fruits and veggies need kosher certification in Eretz Yisrael.)

"No," she said, looking interested. "What is that?"

My husband pleasantly explained to her, then offered to do it for her, showing her and explaining along the way.

"Yes, yes!" she said. "Come and teach us about this!"

Relaxed and smiling, my husband got up and stood in front of her counter with a knife and a coin, and explained the process as he performed it while she looked on and asked questions.

Then they returned to sit at the table.

Her son kept his head down the whole time and only spoke to thank his mother for the food or to answer friendly questions from my husband.

It was only later that I realized that the young man understood that one shouldn't look at religious women (actually, they shouldn't look at any woman unless he's married to her or was born from her), and that's why he kept his head down the whole time.

Wow.

During the conversation, she mentioned that her and my husband's grandmother had been careful about modesty and refined dress.

"Her own daughters never saw her hair," she stated.

That sobered me as I looked at this refined woman with curly hennaed hair down to her shoulders, wearing jeans and a short-sleeved shirt.

You see this kind of thing a lot in Eretz Yisrael. There are so many Jews with good Jewish hearts, running the gamut from secular to religious.

When you talk to them about mitzvot or Torah, they're into it. They care. Many feel reverence when going to shul or visiting the Kotel. And my husband's cousin obviously knew how to be mechanech her children in the old-fashioned Jewish way. Despite her son's biker appearance, he behaved like the quintessential good Jewish boy.

But all sorts of other influences got and continue to get in the way.

People have different reasons for having abandoned many mitzvot and for not returning. It depends.

But that good Jewish heart and soul's desire to connect to Torah and mitzvot is there underneath, waiting for the heart to be awakened.

May our hearts all awaken to fulfill our purest soul-yearning.

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Discover the Purpose of Each World

“This World is for milchama;the Next World is for menucha.”

Introducing the World of Tikkun

Tikkun: It's the Real Thing

The 2 Ultimate Questions

Falling Down into Defeat

True Motivations Revealed

When You're Just Not Ready - Yet

Old Tyranny with a New Twist

The Old-New "Liberated" Woman

So What is the Real "New" for Women's Roles?

The Old Danger of "New!"

Bubby vs the Fire-Truck Feminists

Keep Your Mitzvot Fresh & Lush

Discover Your Unique Path

The Old-New Tricks

An Age-Old Insight​

Breaking It Down

Digestible Emuna

Myrtle Rising

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“This World is for milchama;
the Next World is for menucha.”

An Age-Old Insight