Droshos - Be Yourself

 (This class was delivered in a Beit Midrash called "Od Yosef Chai [Yosef is still alive]," and so, the talk is centered on this section in the Torah.)

How is it that the Torah writes Yehudah's words to the viceroy of Egypt (Bereshit 44:20) that Yosef was dead?

In fact, it was untrue, so it should not be written in the Torah.

The answer is that in depth, there was a kind of death.

Yosef's whole essence was kavod (honor). When he was born, Rachel named him Yosef, because "Hashem gathered in (asaf) my shame."

The opposite of shame is honor, so Yosef's essence was honor. Likewise, he was the conduit for the Torah of Yaakov, and by revealing that Torah, he caused Yaakov's honor to be manifest. When he was sold as a slave, his personal honor and that of his father were no more, and thus, his essence disappeared, so he was as if dead.

When he became viceroy in Egypt, he was again in a position of honor, and then, indeed, "Yosef is still alive."

As long as Yosef was alive, the kavod of Yaakov was manifest.

After he died, the kavod disappeared, and the enslavement of Israel began.

As long as we had kavod, there could be no galut (exile). The removal of kavod is identical with galut.

Geulah (redemption), though, is more than just a return of kavod, and Yosef also symbolizes the higher level of gathering in and transcending the concept of honor.

To illustrate, to shame a person is tantamount to murder, because the soul is equated with honor (Tehillim 30:13).

But if a person's essence is really only honor, a disgraced person should die, because his soul, his kavod, disappears.

Rather, a person is more than his kavod. The inner essence is even deeper than kavod. Kavod is deep, but it is not the deepest essence of a person.

Kavod only relates to others, but does not exist at all when one is alone.

When a person lives only with kavod, he is only focused on the relationship with others.

Yet one must focus on his own essence.

We don't only mean that one should not do things for the sake of honor.

Kavod means to be focused on the outside, and the inner life requires one not to focus on outside entities.

The gemara states that rebbi did not look outside of his four amot (cubits).

The depth of this is that he did not look beyond his own place, his own existence.

Looking outward means that one leaves his own personal world.

Each person is unique, with his own world.

When a person envies another, even another person's positive qualities, he is looking outside of his own world if he only wants the qualities because he sees them elsewhere.

The proper way is to attain a level because of a personal awareness of the value of the level.

You might see people acting a certain way, or read about it in a book.

But you should attain your own recognition.

The gemara states that if not that the Torah were given, we would have learned alacrity from the ant. But where does the Torah teach us the quality of alacrity?

The answer is that we now have an inner light with which to learn such values naturally.

The Rambam (De'ot 6:1) writes that one must live in the desert.

You can live with other people and yet be as in a desert.

One can live on his own, without copying anyone else.

The true life is when you build your own way of life with your own personal understanding.

This is the depth of "Yosef is still alive" even now.

When he died, in other words, when his level of honor disappears, the kavod is gone, but this new level is higher than kavod.

On this level, one lives based on his own awareness.

The influences in this world are very strong.

The values are all wrong and our thinking can become distorted.

The proper way is to discover the truth on your own.

Then you will receive your own life from your own neshamah.

​Then you will merit being like Adam before the sin. He had no one to emulate other than Hashem.

The Geulah will come when we don't copy others, but live from our own discovered truth.

What Elul Gives Us That Other Months Don't

In Elul, every step you take towards Hashem is rewarded with a certain level of Divine Providence not normally found during the rest of the year.

There’s a direct response where we can feel Hashem allowing Himself to come into our life. 

There are different ways to draw close.

Part I of the Teshuvah Process

To begin the process, make a history of your life:

– Break it down to segments, such as early childhood, later childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and middle age.

​– Focus on the smaller units of time where the critical stages in your development took place.

– Set aside a half hour or an hour to ask yourself,
“What were the important events that took place in my life at this time?”

Don’t intercept with judgment calls because then your narrative will become self -centered and less honest.

If you do this year by year, a sense of what is and isn’t important will emerge.

Part II of the Process

The next question should be,
– “How did I respond to these events?”

– Visualize yourself experiencing it all over again.

– Then ask,
(1) “Did my responses get me closer to where I wanted to be or did it take me further away?"
(2) "What was I thinking when I made these choices?"
(3) "Why did I make that choice?”

– Try to find patterns in both your good and bad decisions.

Sometimes your good deeds may have been prompted by the need to escape or for idealistic motives. Your slip-ups may have been caused by desire for social acceptance, or fear or ignorance.

You may discover that your good side was driven by the desire to be part of something larger than yourself, or in order to know the truth, or to ease your conscience. 

"Middot are neither good or bad, It’s what you make up of them"

All this self- introspection is meant to lead you to your middot.

Middot are neither good or bad, It’s what you make up of them.

The Gra teaches that life is about perfecting ones middot.

“Tzadik v’ra lo” refers to someone with difficult middot.

When he succeeds in conquering or turning around his bad middot for the good, he becomes a tzaddik.

In Elul, every step you take towards Hashem is rewarded with a certain level of Divine Providence not normally found during the rest of the year.

There’s a direct response where we can feel Hashem allowing Himself to come into our life.