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29/11/2019

I'm planning on making a major overhaul to my computer, hopefully in the coming week.

Usually, I don't have great mazal in the techie world, so who knows what will happen?

Also, I have "Post-Traumatic Tech Disorder" (which is a term I totally made up, but I bet you know exactly what I mean), and this makes everything even worse.

Despite all the boasts of how easy, simple, and quick this-or-that technological improvement is supposed to be, I usually run into hair-yanking bugs.

So if I accidentally lock myself out of this site or my email, that's what happened.

If I manage to produce & pre-schedule posts before the overhaul, it may look like I'm here, but really I'm not.

Or things may go swimmingly.

You can never really know in advance...

I don't own a Mac (which I heard are actually the best computers), but the feelings can still be the same.

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Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Toldot & How to Really Live for the Moment

28/11/2019

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As usual, Rav Avigdor Miller punches through casual assumptions we might have about the parshah (unless we are really paying attention).

In Parshas Toldos 3 – Esav and His World, we can take the following pop quiz:

Why was Esav called Edom?

Most people will say because he was born ruddy (adom).

But Rav Miller reminds us that the parshah actually says he was called Edom because he asked for "that red red stuff," the red lentils cooked by Yaakov Avinu, and therefore: al ken kara shemo Edom.

No Emunah? No Bechorah!

Rav Miller explains that Esav came in the from the fields morally & spiritually weary.

Esav's grandfather, Avraham Avinu, had just passed on, and this shook Esav, even though he'd been raised in a home that not only believed in Olam Haba & the eternity of the soul, but lived every moment & every act according to this belief.

In contrast, Yaakov Avinu's emunah never wavered for a moment.

So when he saw Esav in this state, he realized that Esav really wasn't fit for the birthright. People could not say in Shemoneh Esrei: Elokai Avraham, Elokai Yitzchak, v'Elokai Esav.

And that's when he asked Esav to sell him his birthright.

Not only was this an insightful request, it was also meant as tactful mussar for Esav.

And that was it for Esav and his descendants.

As Rav Miller sums up on page 8:

They are the Red Lentil people. It’s an eternal reminder that Eisav lost his opportunity for greatness because he forgot what this world is for.

Instead of being a name of honor – the admoni, one who was born for greatness – he became Edom, the one who traded his opportunity for greatness for a bowl of red lentils.

And that’s the eternal label attached to Eisav.

He’s the one who forgot his purpose of life because he weakened for a moment and he traded everything away for a bowl of red lentils.

The Real Deal of the Century – of YOUR Century

On page 9-10, Rav Miller describes the Divine business deal we have with Hashem.

We "sell" Him our Olam Hazeh, and in return, He gives us Olam Haba.

It's very difficult nowadays because Olam Hazeh is way too alluring.

It's stressful with tremendous opportunities for escapism – one of the deadliest combinations for a person's neshamah.

If it was stressful, but with no escape, so you would just tough it out like how they did in the olden days. You would face your challenges, and even rise to them. (And some people still do. Or at least, they try to.)

But now....:

You can just drug yourself into contentment (legally!).

You also have so many ways to cultivate addictions.

Gamblers needn't actually go to a casino anymore.

You no longer need a TV or to cruise over to the nearest movie theater for those brainwave changes.

Ranting, soap-boxing, lashon hara, and other unhealthy outlets can all be performed from home, either anonymously or using your real name (or an easily discovered moniker). You no longer need to suffer the obstacle of others stopping or avoiding you as you do when you start up face-to-face.

And while you can't guzzle, snort, or smoke your keyboard, lots of unsavory & addictive stuff can be ordered from the privacy of your home (which actually isn't so private because your credit card has tons of information about you).

Anything you do to face Olam Hazeh head-on & minimize it is REALLY REALLY GOOD.

You are one in a million.

And mitzvah goreret mitzvah – one good deed often leads to another in its wake.

Once you get used to being a better person, you're more likely to become an even better person.

Even with the spiritual descents, your overall movement can still be upward.

Don't Drag Over a Cushy Sofa with a Built-In Cupholder to Wait at the Bus Stop

On pages 10-11, Rav Miller reminds us that we are just visitors to This World.

Yes, we need a certain amount to help us function normally, but on the other hand, as Rav Miller puts it, you don't take a sofa with you to wait for the bus or the train.

Why?

It's not worth it.

This reminds me of the first international flights, which were decked out like suites for first-class passengers on ships – which took weeks to cross the ocean, rather than mere hours.

First-class travelers can still utilize cozy bed-cubicles for international flights, but airlines quickly realized that the super-spacious luxury suites common long voyages weren't financially or practically worthwhile for such a short period of travel.

What Avraham Avinu's passing should have meant to Esav was MORE attachment to Olam Haba and ruchniut, not less attachment.

On page 14-15, Rav Miller's mentions one of his 10 Steps to Greatness:

Think about Olam Haba for 30 seconds every day .

Lessons from an Old-Age Home

On page 17, Rav Miller mentions his experience in an old-age home, in which the only content person was a bearded learning man – in other words, the only person there who had lived his life according to Olam Haba.

The gradual decay of Olam Hazeh didn't bother him nearly as much as it did his fellow inmates who'd lived for Olam Hazeh.

It reminded me of one of Tzirel Rus Berger's turning points in The Mountain Family.

She used to talk to people in an old-age home.

One used to be a beauty queen and always talked about how beautiful she'd been.

Although Tzirel Rus could see traces of that former beauty on her face, this 70-something woman was certainly far from the beauty she'd been and therefore, could only live in the past of what was & never will be again. (Also, looks are so not important.)

Another man kept talking about all the things he'd do when he'd "leave this place."

Looking at his physical condition and his age, Tzirel Rus realized that there was no way he would ever be able to leave. He lived in an imaginary future, in his dreams.

And so on.

The only person who seemed happy was a woman who'd raised a very large family and enjoyed a constant stream of adult children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

The family didn't have much money, Tzirel Rus noted, but they had love, friendship, and happiness.

People who invest in Olam Haba are happier people and remain even happier long after they pass from This World.

May Hashem help all of us to live for Olam Haba.

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Special Kislev Roundup: Rav Itamar Schwartz on Dreams & Women's Avodah, Plus a Special Segulah to See a Huge Miracle from Rav Chaim Palagi

27/11/2019

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Rav Itamar Schwartz on Kislev & Dreams

Just in time for Rosh Chodesh Kislev, it's very worth checking out Rav Itamar Schwartz's transcribed lectures on Kislev.

In particular, Rosh Chodesh Kislev: Dreams & Sleep contains lots of beautiful information.

For example, the famous verse in Shir Hashirim – "I am asleep, but my heart is awake" – contains many deep meanings, one of which refers to the creation of Chava.

A woman is the heart. When Hashem created Chava, He put Adam to sleep.

So Adam was asleep, but his heart – Chava – was awakening & awake.

Rav Schwartz also discusses dream interpretation and it has a lot to do with your own level of self-knowledge.

In a dvar Torah on one of the parshahs (can't remember which one), Rebbetzin Shira Smiles explained that the kavanot of the person who prepared your food can influence your dreams.

She gave the example of a big rav who experience a disturbing dream out of character from his high spiritual level, and discovered later that the person who produced the meal was a person with low-level (or even anti-Torah?) thoughts.

I was so happy to come across this dvar Torah because I never understood why food can impact your dreams so much, and this gave a pretty good explanation for that influence.

I suppose there are other reasons too, but that's a pretty good one.

If I remember correctly, Rav Shalom Arush in Garden of Healing also mentioned that a person's thoughts and attitudes while preparing food can influence the eaters, both physically & spiritually, for better or for worse.

It's a classic tradition for Jewish women to say l'chvod Shabbot when preparing Shabbat meals and to murmur prayers while kneading challah dough.

Once again, it's not so much what you do, but HOW you do it that makes all the difference.

And, as always, Rav Schwartz emphasizes the importance of looking to rabbinical sources for self-help, as opposed to secular sources. In this article, he recommends Michtav M'Eliyahu/Strive for Truth in particular.

His post on dreams is also followed by a really interesting & helpful Q&A.

Rav Chaim Palagi's Kislev Segulah

Last year, I learned (I think on Shirat Devorah) of Rav Chaim Palagi's segulah to see a huge miracle this year.

Rabbi Alon Anava described it as the following 4 aspects:

1) From Rosh Chodesh until the last day of Chanukah, do not complain about anything (including in your thoughts).

2) Praise & thank Hashem a lot. (The 1st is "sur m'ra/turn from evil" and this 2nd step is "aseh tov/do good" – always a winning combination!)

3) Based on Sefer Yetzirah, Kislev is connected to the Hebrew letter samech ס, which hints at l'smoch – to rely, to count on. This is the underlying energy of Kislev. So work on relying on Hashem, and putting your trust in Him, i.e., bitachon.

4) Really put your faith in Hashem (emunah).

As you can see, the 4 steps are all interrelated.

It is also a very tall order. I must admit that I massively messed this up last year, so I'm aiming for more dedication & hoping for more siyata d'Shmaya this time around.

But you know what? Even if you already get all kvetchy, resentful, bitter, and faithless halfway through Rosh Chodesh, at least you still had some very spiritually powerful moments.

And even if you only find out about this segulah the day after Rosh Chodesh, it's still very worth trying.

And don't feel you've lost everything.

Pick yourself up & keep going until the last day of Chanukah.

Even if you fall on your face repeatedly, just keeping doing it.

Whether you'll merit a huge miracle some time this year or not, the above 4 steps contain tremendous positive spiritual power that benefit both you and the entire Am Yisrael.

We're all interconnected. Think of it like a person who tones & lifts weights with one leg while leaving the other by itself. He'll develop a major limp! But if he at least tries working out with the other leg, it'll still get stronger & hold up his body better than if he didn't work it at all.

That's us: one person altogether.

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Part 4: And Even More Exercises to Increase Your Love of Hashem

25/11/2019

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In Section 3 of Ahavat Hashem in Chovot HaLevavot, Rav Bachya states an interesting observation:

Love of God is a natural result of certain realizations.

Paradoxically, the way to achieve love of Hashem is NOT to aim for loving Hashem, but to focus on certain preliminaries, out of which ahavat Hashem will NATURALLY unfold.

The preliminaries are as follows:

Wholehearted Devotion

Wholeheartedly acknowledge Hashem's Unity (He is One & the Source of EVERYTHING in the world).
Wholeheartedly devote all your acts to Hashem and serve Him for His Sake alone.

(Admittedly, a very tall order.)

Humility

Submit & humble yourself before Hashem.
Submit & humble yourself before truly God-fearing people (who turn from bad) and Hashem's Prime Ones (who do good).

Cheshbon Hanefesh

Make an account of all the good Hashem has done for you & ponder how much You owe Him for all that.
Take into account all the times you've messed up & sinned, and how Hashem so often grants you a reprieve and forgives you. Also, think of all the stuff you've done that you'd be so embarrassed if others found out, and how Hashem generally does not let that happen.

Reflection

Reflect on the words & experiences of the Nevi'im and others like them.
Reflect on the wonders of the world.

4 Practical Exercises

Sadly, I really have nothing to offer for the first 2 preliminaries. Halevai I was wholehearted & humble enough to have something to recommend!

(However, suggestions are welcome.)

Here are some suggestions for making progress with the last two:

Cheshbon Hanefesh

Write or say a gratitude list.

This idea has been repeated so often, but it is always a good idea. Then think about how Nice Hashem is for doing all that for you, and how you can never repay Him for all that, but you can at least show him some gratitude back.

(NOTE: This should not lead to despair; on the contrary, it is an uplifting idea. Think of Hashem like a pampering spoiling Parent who has done so much for you. Yes, this can be difficult if you've suffered a lot. But try your best.)

Do a chesbon hanefesh and then think about how Nice Hashem is to you despite all the times you've let Him down.

Think of how many times you've mindlessly mumbled a bracha ("Baruch, You're God, Our God, King of the Universe, yeah, yeah whatever...oh, where was I again? Hey, does anyone remember if I bentched?"), and how Hashem still loves you so much.

He forgives you and keeps you and the rest of the world operating.

If the world ran according to din, people would get struck by lightening right after bar or bat mitzvah.

Just think about how a snipey comment or utterance of slander does NOT get one's tongue yanked out. Ears that hear lashon hara or nivul peh still work perfectly fine a moment later.

One of our generation's biggest challenges is with our eyes. Taavah, taavah everywhere...whether it's the classic taavah or turning green with envy while window shopping or visiting someone with more materialism than you, or just plain desiring more of Olam Hazeh, most people's eyes work fine. Sure, some need glasses, but nobody's eyeballs just fall out, no matter how much bad stuff they do with their eyes.

Thanks, Hashem! SO INCREDIBLY NICE OF YOU!!!

Reflection

Review your favorite stories or passages from Nevi'im and Ketuvim.

Telling them over to a child or any other enthusiastic listener is one way to relive these ancient experiences. Read them in the plain text or with mefarshim. Peruse them in the modern-day graphic book form for children.

Shoftim is chock-full of great stories. And I've always loved the stories of Eliyahu Hanavi & Elisha Hanavi. Sefer Yeshayahu is full of beautiful language and ideas. Think about what they said, their messages, and what that means for you. After all, these were all written down FOR YOU. (You can write down your thoughts or say them.)

Think about nature & all its routine miracles.

Rav Miller loved to talk about apple seeds and all the wonders within. Rebbetzin Heller noted that if there was only one willow tree (or some kind of tree) in the world, people would flock to look at it, even paying big money to see it.

But because we're surrounded by apples & trees, these wonders become bland in our eyes.

But just think about it what these things really are. (It also helps to listen to or read Rav Miller talking about the wonders of nature.)

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Part 3: Even More Practical Exercises to Increase Your Love of Hashem

24/11/2019

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In Sha'ar Ahavat Hashem: Section 2, Rav Bachya recalls the 3 types of love mentioned in the first paragraph of Kriyat Shema:

your heart (levavecha)
your soul (nafshecha)
your might (me'odecha)

These indicate 3 types types of giving:

heart = honor
soul = body
might = money

He notes that some people give easily of their body, but not of their material possessions, and vice-versa.

For example, some people easily assist you in, say, carrying home your groceries or watching your children for a couple of hours (giving of their body), but find it difficult to loan possessions or give tzedakah.

Others are very generous with their money or loaning you possessions, but find it difficult to do physical tasks of chessed.

And yes, others need kavod. They'll happily give of their time, energy, money, and possessions, but they need to be asked in just the right way & thanked copiously too (and they also tend to let everyone know about all the chessed & tzedakah they do).

Or they have their ideas of what they find demeaning (even if it's not actually demeaning), and refuse to do even necessary beneficial acts that they imagine impinge on their honor.

And some acts of love do demean people, at least externally or culturally, but a truly humble & loving person would still do it.

Rabbeinu Bachya quotes Chazal as saying that all the above means you need to give to Hashem of the following:

your heart = your yetzer hara & your yetzer hatov
your soul = your physical life (to give up one's life when Hashem deems it necessary)
your might = your physical possessions

Reviewing the above definitions, how can you use them to show Hashem your love for Him?

Write down or speak aloud at least 1 way to show your love for Hashem for each of the following:

YOUR HEART (levavecha)

How can you use your yetzer hara in service of love for Hashem?

(Note: That's a hard one; I imagine that in a clash of wills, subordinating your will to Hashem's Will is one way of using your yetzer hara to love Hashem, i.e.: "See how much I love You? I chose to learn on the bus instead of talking on the phone just because I knew You'd be happier that way.")

How can you use your yetzer hatov in service of love for Hashem?
How can you use your honor in service of love for Hashem?

YOUR SOUL (nafshecha)

How can you use your physical action, your body to show your love for Hashem?

YOUR MIGHT (me'odecha)

How can you use your money and material possessions to show your love for Hashem?

See if you can incorporate your answers practically into your life.

Click here for Part 1.
Click here for Part 2.

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Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Chayei Sara: Sara's Tent as the Prototype for the Beit HaMikdash

22/11/2019

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(B'ezrat Hashem, any limud or positive acts from this post should please go as a zechut for the complete & speedy recovery of Menachem Mendel Shlomo ben Chaya Rochel.)

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah on Parshas Chayei Sarah 3 – Sanctuary of Sarah, we learn that Sara Imeinu's home was the greatest home in history.

Like the Kli Yakar, Rav Miller compares Sara Imeinu's home to the home of the Mikdash.

And her passing was like the Churban (Destruction).

Rav Miller states that the first Churban in Jewish history was actually Sara's passing.

While we tend to think of the Giving of the Torah as our Nation's monumental event (and it was indeed), Rav Miller explains that our founding Fathers & Mothers were the magnificent part of our history.

The Shechinah dwelt in their homes.

It's amazing. What was in the Kodesh Kadoshim (Holy of Holies) in the Beit Hamikdash was actually in the homes of our Avot & Imahot.

When they passed on, the Shechinah went into Exile.

What Were Avraham & Sara like as Chatan & Kallah?

Rav Miller describes what the beginning of the marriage must have been like.

Initially, Avraham Avinu was Sara Imeinu's teacher (they had a 10-year age difference & people married young back then), so he showed her all he had learned about his own observations of the world, observations that gained him tremendous TRUE knowledge because "he saw better than any professors will ever see."

And Sara Imeinu soaked it all in.

On page 5, Rav Miller describes what Sara's own study of the world must have been like.

Sara started off as the brilliant student of her husband, then she rose to great heights on her own, eventually achieving nevuah that surpassed even that of her holy husband.

A Truly Fun Home

On page 7, Rav Miller describes the great challenge of perceiving Sara Imeinu's home:

Now as much as I’m going to tell you, you must know that it is not going to approximate what the greatness of that house was.

I’m like an ant looking up at a tremendous mountain trying to describe what’s high up on the summit.

I’m not capable of fully understanding the greatness of Sarah’s tent.

It’s like a blind man speaking of the glory of the sunlight — we never saw it and we have no idea about the splendor that prevailed in that house.

Let's consider this for a moment.

Rav Miller acknowledges that we generally consider Avraham Avinu the builder of our Nation. He was the one out there doing things.

And indeed, he was a tzaddik beyond our imagination.

However, who built the Beit HaMikdash?

Sara Imeinu. In her tent.

When they slaughtered meat, they were like the Kohanim performing korbanot.

When they ate, it was like they were eating offerings from the mizbeyach.

Sara Imeinu's challot were the prototype of the Lechem Panim in the Beit HaMikdash.

Rav Miller goes on to say (pg. 8):

All their thoughts and all their deeds were devoted to the ideal that Hashem is in our house.

That’s what made it a beis hamikdash — the kedusha, the Awareness of Hashem, was so dense that it constantly impinged on their awareness in everything they did.

Now don’t think that a Jewish home is lacking cheer and fun.

Avraham and Sarah lived very happy lives. They had more fun in their home than we have – much more.

Why was Yishmael's Laughter So Bad?

And now we can understand the problem with Yishmael's laughter.

Rav Miller acknowledges what the mefarshim say about the symbolism of Yishmael's laughter.

But Rav Miller says that just the plain meaning, that Yishmael was laughing & jesting in such a holy home – the same as clowning around in the Beit HaMikdash on Yom Kippur – just the laughter on its own was absolutely appalling.

What's the Secret to Keeping House like Sara Imeinu?

Interestingly, despite the fact that Sara & Avraham were extremely wealthy with hundreds of servants, Sara Imeinu performed most of the housework herself.

And what's the secret to housekeeping like Sara Imeinu?

It's on page 11:

Every chore that people do in that house, if it’s a frum house and they do it l’shem Shamayim, that’s the ingredient – l’shem Shamayim, then they’re building something that’ll last forever.

Then Rav Miller says even more radical things (radical to our ears, anyway):

When a mother is putting clothing into the washer she’s thinking, “I want to maintain a frum Jewish house because Hakodosh Boruch Hu gave me this function. I don’t have to work in an office. I won't run for elections to be a city councilwoman – it’s a waste of my life. Right here is the place where I achieve.”

And children!

“The more children that I can have, the bigger the achievement.”

A woman like that is building a Beis Hamikdash – she is emulating the avodas Hashem that made Sarah into Sarah Imeinu.

Rav Miller acknowledges that the term "l'shem SHamayim" is bandied about so much nowadays that it has lost its meaning for us.

So he emphasizes that l'shem Shamayim means "with the awareness of Shamayim."

Everything Avraham Avinu & Sara Imeinu did, it was with this awareness.

People talk about "mindfulness" a lot nowadays, and an awareness of Shamayim is the real mindfulness we are supposed to cultivate.

The Old Treasure in the Home

On pages 12-13, Rav Miller goes into vivid detail of the baby-steps we can take to add to our lives more kavanah l'shem Shamayim.

He also mentions a pithy proverb from Gemara Erechim 19b:

"Saba b'veita – pacha b'beita."

"An old man in the house is a calamity in the house."

Retired men belong in kollel, says Rav Miller, not being a nuisance to his wife in the home all day.

It's such an interesting 2000-year-old observation because we see in our times how shalom bayit often disintegrates when a husband retires. So many women complain of a retired husband who spends his time nitpicking at how she runs the home, criticizing how things are organized, and kvetching.

Get thee to a kollel!

Then Rav Miller quotes the same Gemara:

"Savta b'veita – sima b'veita."

"An old woman in the house is a treasure in the house."

A man is a treasure in yeshivah.

A woman is a treasure in the home.

Rav Miller explains how women grow wiser as they grow older. They dispense wisdom & chessed.

Yes, I see in the Yerushalmi communities how dedicated older mothers are to their grandchildren & adult children.

For example, when a daughter gives birth before Pesach, Yerushalmi mothers invite the entire family (all those little darlings!) for the entire week of Pesach.

It is tremendous work to host small children and take care of a yoledet, all the more so over Pesach and often with their own children still at home and more guests coming. But they do it so willingly!

I really look up to them.

And their wisdom is a real treasure too.

My husband and I still turn to his mother for health remedies & advice, plus a little bit of dream interpretation. (Her own mother was a kosher dream interpreter in Morocco.)

Although sometimes, the dreams go a bit too far – like when my mother-in-law's long-dead brother came to her in a dream after yet another son was born to us and requested that we name this son after him because none of his secular children had done so.

So we did. It's hard to say no to the dead. Chessed shel emet and all that. Do the dead favors, even though they'll never be able to pay you back. It's a big mitzvah.

Anyway...

Among frum women in general, I've seen how grandmothers develop patience they lacked in their younger years.

I've seen how supportive & discreet & sensitive they are with their children struggling with their own children – struggles these older women didn't necessarily have to deal with in their child-rearing years, but have become all too common now.

Society considers older women crones and old-fashioned and no longer useful or beautiful.

But Judaism declares: sima – She's a treasure!

Reaching Back to the Original Nature & Nurture

On page 14, Rav Miller goes into a brief yet lovely exposition of Eishet Chayil (A Woman of Valor).

Ultimately, Avraham Avinu & Sara Imeinu are the prototype for us.

No matter what home we grew up in or what background we came from, our real nurturing comes from this first Jewish couple.

A convert is referred to as the son or daughter of Avraham Avinu & Sara Imeinu.

We need to stretch back further than our immediate family & background to reach it.

It's there, it's accessible, but we need to cultivate an awareness that it's possible.

Let's wrap up on Rav Miller's final note (pg. 15):

It’s beyond our sight; it towers beyond our range of vision how great we could become – but every person who begins the career of building a home has the right, the obligation, to build that home on the same foundation that Avraham and Sarah laid down for their home.

And that’s the foundation of the greatest possible loyalty to Hakodosh Boruch Hu and the greatest possible dedication to the ideal of making the very best home that they could make.

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The Kli Yakar on Sara Imeinu in Parshat Chayei Sara: Her Wisdom & Deeds Elevated Her to become the Exalted Princess of The Entire World

21/11/2019

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The Beit HaMikdash was the Home of Holiness, and Sara Imeinu's home was also a home of holiness, a place of unsurpassed sanctity in the world at that time.

In Beresheit 23:2, the Kli Yakar says that while Avraham Avinu eulogized her, he initially:

"...did not weep over her because he knew that she had ascended to the Heavenly Apex [Marom], to a place precious and honorable beyond where she had been in this land of darkness."

Please note that the Kli Yakar says that Avraham Avinu knew [yada]. He did not believe or think or assume Sara Imeinu had risen to the heights of Heavenly Bliss.

Avraham Avinu KNEW it.

Then the Kli Yakar expounds:

And then afterward, he wept over the Beit HaMikdash that was destroyed in his days just like the angels of peace [malachei hashalom] wept over our Destruction...the weeping was over that which seemed to him as the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed in his days.

(According to footnote #31 in this parshah in Elihu Levine's fantastic translation of the Kli Yakar, the Metzudat David on Yeshayahu 33:7 interprets "malachei hashalom" as "messengers of peace," referring to those who were sent to bring tidings of peace to Yerushalayim, yet ended up weeping over the Destruction.)

So...

Sara = Beit Hamikdash

Sara's passing = The Destruction of the Holy Temple

That's a very powerful equation!

Think about everything the Churban (Destruction) meant:

the cessation of the atoning korbanot
no more miraculously protective Ketoret
the end of the unimaginable joy of Simchat Beit HaSho'evah
an end to the soul-stirring music of the Levi'im
an end to the beautiful & holy service of the Kohanim
a withdrawing of tangible closeness to Hashem
the shattering of its astounding splendor...

Sara Imeinu's passing was EQUAL to all that.

Then the Kli Yakar states that Avraham Avinu knew that while Sara Imeinu's "sun had set only in This World," she was now eating the fruits of her deeds in Olam Haba.

The Kli Yakar also explains that the verse "Sara died in Kiryat Arba, also known as Chevron" hints that Sara died the death of only the most exalted tzaddikim like Moshe Rabbeinu.

Sara Imeinu was in the most wonderful place possible. The loss wasn't hers.

It was the world's loss.

As the Kli Yakar exalts her:

...because she was a sarah over all the world in her wisdom and her deeds...

Sara Imeinu's name is also a title: sarah (שרה).

It's the feminine form of sar (שר).

A sar is a ruling minister, a prince, or the ministering angel over an entire nation.

So when the Kli Yakar states that Sara Imeinu was a "sarah al kol ha'olam," he was saying that her wisdom & deeds made her a princess, a ruling minister over the entire world.

This is our role model.

This is our mother.

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Part 2: More Practical Exercises for Increasing Your Love of Hashem (based on the Gate of Love of God in Duties of the Heart)

21/11/2019

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In Chapter 2 of Sha'ar Ahavat Hashem in Chovot HaLevavot, Rav Bachya lists 3 kinds of love for Hashem:

Love for Hashem's Kindness & Goodness toward you. (love based on reward)
Love because Hashem overlooks your transgressions & freely forgives you, even atoning for your sins. (love based on fear)
Love on account of Hashem's Infinite Greatness & Unfathomable Glory, and on account of your reverence for Hashem's Essence – and not because you expectations to get something from Hashem or because of you fear of punishment for disobedience, but just pure love. (pure love, the highest form)

Please note that loving Hashem for what He gives you or that He forgives you are still VERY, VERY GOOD forms of love.

Ultimately, we want to reach the level of pure untainted love (#3). But the other forms are still fantastic.

So here are some exercises to increase the above forms of love:

Exercise #1 to Increase Your Love based on Reward

Think about all the times Hashem has answered your prayers. Say out loud, "Thank You, Hashem, for making sure I didn't miss the bus when I asked You for help," and any other incidents you can think of, whether major or minor.

Think about how good you feel when you've done a mitzvah or overcome your yetzer hara, and think about the wonderful reward waiting for you, a nice chunk of which you receive in This World too.

Think about the positive middah k'neged middah acts you've received that are clearly connected to something positive you've done. (You can also write these down.)

Think about how good it is that you were born or became a Jew, and how much reward you get for that.

Unless you've already undergone a positive Near Death Experience, imagining Heavenly Reward isn't so possible within our narrow 3-dimensional world. So I think the best thing to do is try to hook on that emotion of pleasure. You could also dance, especially for the last one.

Maybe there are other, better ways to do it, but that's all I could think of. Suggestions are welcome!

Exercise #2 to Increase Your Love based on Healthy Fear

Think of something you've done that was very bad or makes you burn with shame to this day, but that you never got caught for or never suffered consequences from (as far as you can tell, anyway). Think of how nice it is of Hashem that He didn't punish you for it. Apologize for it now & thank him for not walloping you.

Think of the times you spoke lashon hara or made a snide comment or spewed an angry word or words of kefirah, and how your tongue never fell out. Yishtabach Shemo! Apologize to Hashem & thank Him for not harming the very apparatus with which you sinned. Hashem keeps you going even when you use your God-given gifts against Him.

Think of all the things you've seen that you shouldn't and how Hashem never struck you blind. Yishtabach Shemo! Thank Him for that. It's so nice of Him. You keep disobeying Him and He keeps taking really good care of you and giving you second chances thousands of times.

Feel free to keep on going with the above using other parts of your body or your possessions. LUXURIATE in the relief you feel for His Great Mercy upon you.

Exercise #3 to Increase Your Love based on Pure Love

I feel silly trying to come up for an exercise for this one. I am so far from this!

But giving it my best shot, I think that...

...thanking Hashem for both the good & the bad is one way to this. Thank Him for 1 minute or 5 or 20 or more. Or write down 20 or 100 gratitudes to Hashem.

...imagining unimaginable things, like the vastness of the Universe, the comets & asteroids zooming through space, all your thoughts (including the unconscious ones), your intricate bodily processes that you don't even sense – and think about how Hashem has complete mastery of them all, that He is fully aware of it all, that He created it all and causes it to continue to function so smoothly. Then think about how everything Hashem does for you & knows about you...He does this for every single one of the billions of people on the planet all at the same time ALL the time.

Hatzlacha rabbah!

(To be continued...)

Click here to go back to Part 1.
Click here to continue to Part 3.

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Part 1: Some Practical Exercises for Increasing Your Love of Hashem (based on the Gate of Love of God in Duties of the Heart)

20/11/2019

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(B'ezrat Hashem, any limud or positive acts from this post should please go as a zechut for the complete & speedy recovery of Menachem Mendel Shlomo ben Chaya Rochel.)

An inspiring reader wrote in requesting exercises based on the last section of Chovot HaLevavot (Duties of the Heart), Sha'ar Ahavat Hashem (Gate of Love of God), similar to what was done with the section on Cheshbon Hanefesh in the workbook 30 Days to Make Your Soul Shine.

Needless to say, complete ahavat Hashem is something I need to work on too, so I was grateful for the Heavenly nudge from this reader. (And apologies to the inspiring reader, that it took me so long!)

So here it goes:

Exercise #1: Chapter 1 of Ahavat Hashem

When Hashem bound the soul to the body, He charged the soul to care for the body.

Your soul possesses a natural attraction to all that is beneficial & healthful for your body.

So take a moment to focus on the fact that Hashem imbued your nefesh with the good inclination to care for your physical body. Then close your eyes & ask your nefesh:

"What do you want me to do for my body?"
"How best can I help my body?"

You can speak this aloud or freewrite it, as you wish.

If you have a specific health problem, you can ask your nefesh what it wants you to do for that.

Exercise #2 (This is also from Chapter 1):

Now think about 3-5 activities that give you the most pleasure.

(The above can be literally anything, even very material not-so-positive pleasures, like eating fatty carbs or getting buzzed, or positive emotional states like when you first fell in love with your spouse or the love you have for your child at his or her most lovable age).

Now focus on the fact that achieving a feeling of love for Hashem actually feels BETTER than any of those activities combined! (This should lead you to some kind of WOW moment – even a millisecond of WOW is really, really good.)

You don't actually need any of those material, emotional, worldly things to feel good!

(Needless to say, it is of course very positive and beneficial to love your spouse & children, but even such positive worldly love can sometimes lead a person to indulging the relationship when they shouldn't; it can lead to imbalance.)

Loving Hashem is the best feeling there is. All the other stuff we do to feel good pales in comparison to being in love with Hashem.

Think about this, that loving Hashem feels SO MUCH BETTER than ANYTHING else. Contemplate it for at least 10 seconds.

(In Rav Avigdor Miller's 10 Steps to Greatness, Rav Miller advises telling Hashem directly, "I love You." The truth is that following Rav Miller's 10 Steps to Greatness will definitely lead you to increased love of Hashem, as will talking to Hashem in your own words as you would your best friend – as per the shitah of Breslov Chassidut.)

Please see Yosef Sebag's wonderful translation (along with his translations of the useful commentaries) here:
Sha'ar Ahavas Hashem - Gate of Love of G-d with select commentaries

Click here for Part 2.
Click here to continue to Part 3.

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In Honor of the Memory of Rabbi Meir Kahane

18/11/2019

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Sorry I'm late about this, but I didn't find out in time.

Rabbi Meir Kahane's yahrtzeit was 18 Cheshvan.

I can't remember when I first came across Rabbi Kahane's writings.

But years ago, I read 3 of his books and several essays.

His fiery love for all Jews invigorated me. His unique ability to shepherd the klal while honing in on the individual Jew both fascinated and inspired me.

His writing was sharp & passionate.

In particular, Rabbi Kahane managed to see & come to the assistance of Jews in pitiable circumstances who remained unseen & unheard.

He expressed sincerely righteous anger on behalf of impoverished lonely elderly Jews living in once-thriving Jewish neighborhoods that turned into crime-ridden danger zones – elderly Jews who needed to stock up on powdered milk and other non-perishable foods because it was too dangerous to make the trek to the grocery store more than every few months.

And he rescued them.

He found safer neighborhoods for them and arranged to pay for their rent.

Rebbetzin Heller told of a 13-year-old Jewish girl who could not manage a Jewish education because she was in a wheelchair and the religious girls school simply did not have the funds or ability to make the school wheelchair-accessible.

Rabbi Kahane made time to come to this girl's home & teach her privately on a regular basis.

(This was literally several decades go; nowadays, disabled students enjoy the same religious education as their able-bodied counterparts. In fact, here in Eretz Yisrael, I've seen girls in wheelchairs attending Beis Yaakov schools right along with their able-bodied classmates, not to mention all the special ed schools available.)

And I never did find the horrible racist attitudes he was supposed to have expressed, despite looking out for them as I read his material. I know that disappoints or befuddles some people, but that was my honest response. Too bad.

Every Jew was important to Rav Meir Kahane.

Torah was important to him.

Torah was so important to him that he stood up to the anti-Torah leaders and their minions fearlessly & forcefully.

They tried to humiliate and derail him on talkshows & in debates.

(In the 1985 debate between Rav Meir Kahane and Alan Dershowitz, Dershowitz made insinuations comparing Rav Kahane to truly evil menuvalim like Louis Farrakhan and Yassar Arafat.)

But Rav Kahane was unflappable and impossible to manipulate.

While I ended up leaving the Kahane path and joining the charedim instead, I never lost my admiration for his passionate & courageous ahavat Yisrael.

People usually give me funny looks when I mention his ahavat Yisrael.

That's not what he was known for, but if you actually read what he says, that was his driving force.

Interestingly, Toras Avigdor created a post in honor of Rav Kahana's yahrtzeit.

Rav Avigdor Miller sided with the majority of the charedi Gadolei Hador regarding the Shoah, which focused on the deeds & attitudes of Jews, rather than the establishment of a Jewish Homeland.

Rav Kahane focused on the State of Israel as a preventative to a future Shoah and strove to do everything he could to make the State a safe harbor for Jews.

(The above represents one of the major differences between the charedi & dati-leumi in hashkafah, which I'm not going to go into here.)

Rav Miller always held by the halacha that a Jew who is shomer Torah & mitzvot is your brother and you absolutely must love him.

So despite Rav Miller's sharp difference in hashkafah with Rav Kahane, Rav Miller still had strong praise for him – praise which Rav Miller did not hesitate or fear to say publicly.

You can read it in the link above. Or simply click here:
Rav Avigdor Miller on Rabbi Meir Kahane

Hashem yinkom damo.

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FYI

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Toldot & How to Really Live for the Moment

No Emunah? No Bechorah!

The Real Deal of the Century – of YOUR Century

Don't Drag Over a Cushy Sofa with a Built-In Cupholder to Wait at the Bus Stop

Lessons from an Old-Age Home

Special Kislev Roundup: Rav Itamar Schwartz on Dreams & Women's Avodah, Plus a Special Segulah to See a Huge Miracle from Rav Chaim Palagi

Rav Itamar Schwartz on Kislev & Dreams

Rav Chaim Palagi's Kislev Segulah

Part 4: And Even More Exercises to Increase Your Love of Hashem

4 Practical Exercises

Part 3: Even More Practical Exercises to Increase Your Love of Hashem

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Chayei Sara: Sara's Tent as the Prototype for the Beit HaMikdash

What Were Avraham & Sara like as Chatan & Kallah?

A Truly Fun Home

Why was Yishmael's Laughter So Bad?

What's the Secret to Keeping House like Sara Imeinu?

The Old Treasure in the Home

Reaching Back to the Original Nature & Nurture

The Kli Yakar on Sara Imeinu in Parshat Chayei Sara: Her Wisdom & Deeds Elevated Her to become the Exalted Princess of The Entire World

Part 2: More Practical Exercises for Increasing Your Love of Hashem (based on the Gate of Love of God in Duties of the Heart)

Exercise #1 to Increase Your Love based on Reward

Exercise #2 to Increase Your Love based on Healthy Fear

Exercise #3 to Increase Your Love based on Pure Love

Part 1: Some Practical Exercises for Increasing Your Love of Hashem (based on the Gate of Love of God in Duties of the Heart)

Exercise #1: Chapter 1 of Ahavat Hashem

Exercise #2 (This is also from Chapter 1):

In Honor of the Memory of Rabbi Meir Kahane

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No Emunah? No Bechorah!

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Don't Drag Over a Cushy Sofa with a Built-In Cupholder to Wait at the Bus Stop

Lessons from an Old-Age Home

Rav Itamar Schwartz on Kislev & Dreams

Rav Chaim Palagi's Kislev Segulah

4 Practical Exercises

What Were Avraham & Sara like as Chatan & Kallah?

A Truly Fun Home

Why was Yishmael's Laughter So Bad?

What's the Secret to Keeping House like Sara Imeinu?

The Old Treasure in the Home

Reaching Back to the Original Nature & Nurture

Exercise #1 to Increase Your Love based on Reward

Exercise #2 to Increase Your Love based on Healthy Fear

​Exercise #3 to Increase Your Love based on Pure Love

Exercise #1: Chapter 1 of Ahavat Hashem

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Exercise #3 to Increase Your Love based on Pure Love

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