I never meant to regularly spotlight gems from The Bitachon Magazine.
A friend (thanks, NEJ!) simply started forwarding it to my Inbox & I started perusing it, seriously impressed and inspired by all the gems found within.
I definitely need to receive exactly the type of chizuk found in the magazine. And others let me know they need this kind of chizuk too.
So from The Bitachon Magazine of Parshat Shelach, Volume 1, Issue 10 (and also in Bitachon Weekly for Parshat Shelach 5782 on pages 2-3), here's yet another gem from Rabbi Yehuda Mandel:
A friend (thanks, NEJ!) simply started forwarding it to my Inbox & I started perusing it, seriously impressed and inspired by all the gems found within.
I definitely need to receive exactly the type of chizuk found in the magazine. And others let me know they need this kind of chizuk too.
So from The Bitachon Magazine of Parshat Shelach, Volume 1, Issue 10 (and also in Bitachon Weekly for Parshat Shelach 5782 on pages 2-3), here's yet another gem from Rabbi Yehuda Mandel:
Those who were shortchanged in life, for example they weren’t Zoche to go to some top Yeshiva, or to some unusual Adam Gadol, some great Yichus, or a Gevaldige Chinuch where you are all set for Gadlus; can actually come out ahead in certain ways.
You may be lacking in Kishronos, or a healthy Torah and/or warm loving background, or in being pure and consistent.
Or you aren’t organized and M’sudar, and you suffer from being the “nobody” of your family and/or Yeshiva.
By the way, I saw this heartbreaking dynamic repeatedly throughout the years.
In a malfunctioning family, the black sheep "nobody" of the family is often the child with the best middot.
No joke.
If the mother is a narcissist, she often despises the nicest child and favors another—sometimes she even favors the child with the worst middot. This usually continues into the children's adulthood, often forever.
(For some reason, this specific dynamic is less likely to happen via the father.)
When you see it as an outsider, it's confusing and you're left wondering whether you're missing something in your perception of the apparently nice but rejected family member or whether there's some history that you remain ignorant of. (Like maybe this nice-yet-despised person used to behave horribly or something.)
And sure, it could be that...
...but it's just as likely the mother is seriously messed up and cannot find it in herself to appreciate the child who is so much better than the mother herself could ever dream of being.
So sometimes (but not always!) being rejected or despised within one's family paradoxically indicates your superior character and greatness.
(And growing up in such a torturous dynamic is also from Hashem. These wonderful-yet-despised children can work on themselves in ways and achieve inner growth others cannot.)
Rabbi Mandel continues:
In a malfunctioning family, the black sheep "nobody" of the family is often the child with the best middot.
No joke.
If the mother is a narcissist, she often despises the nicest child and favors another—sometimes she even favors the child with the worst middot. This usually continues into the children's adulthood, often forever.
(For some reason, this specific dynamic is less likely to happen via the father.)
When you see it as an outsider, it's confusing and you're left wondering whether you're missing something in your perception of the apparently nice but rejected family member or whether there's some history that you remain ignorant of. (Like maybe this nice-yet-despised person used to behave horribly or something.)
And sure, it could be that...
...but it's just as likely the mother is seriously messed up and cannot find it in herself to appreciate the child who is so much better than the mother herself could ever dream of being.
So sometimes (but not always!) being rejected or despised within one's family paradoxically indicates your superior character and greatness.
(And growing up in such a torturous dynamic is also from Hashem. These wonderful-yet-despised children can work on themselves in ways and achieve inner growth others cannot.)
Rabbi Mandel continues:
You feel like a failure, or simply not capable.
You may unfortunately be loaded with all kinds of sins, Chas V’shalom.
“Problems” In Life Force a Person to Become A First-Rate Baal Bitachon
These and many more are forced to go only to Hashem; and if they persist then they can come out ahead of everyone.
You have a special place by Hashem, even if others are superior to you in Torah, Avoda, Nachas, or talent [Kish'ron] etc.
You learn to rely heavily on Tefila.
You may have to give up some Torah and Chesed, and even some Parnasa, to spend more time with Hashem and Shaar HaBitachon.
R' Dovid Bleicher Zatzal says that the Baal Bitachon gets special service in Shamayim.
He is a favorite of Hashem, and a [mekurav l'Malchut] — a member of the royal palace.
Again, the theme here is not about being perfect.
It's not even about achievement, but being sincere and just doing the work.
From this same issue, here's another gem from Devorah Silberman (emphasis my own addition):
It's not even about achievement, but being sincere and just doing the work.
From this same issue, here's another gem from Devorah Silberman (emphasis my own addition):
If one experiences times of feeling of distance and low spirituality, instead of believing that they have failed, they should instead recognize that this is the way Hashem has designed us to be.
The Tanya in Chapter 15 writes that our work in this world involves continuous struggle.
As well as the inspiring Mashal that the Maggid of Mezritch gives:
That Hashem hides Himself to give us the opportunity to play a holy and ultimate game of hide and seek with the power of all powers.
The reason He sometimes hides is so that we will have the opportunity to seek Him and become even closer!
Mrs. Bassie Goldman says that our fluctuating relationship is the plan of Hashem.
Just like how a heartbeat goes up and down.
She also says that if we could choose to always have the connection we want to have, obviously we would choose the connection that we want to have!
So this is proof that when we are in a place of disconnection, we did not choose it.
It means Hashem's will is taking place in our life now.
The Steipler Goan ZT"L then adds that although we may not have the choice to have an always 100% static connection to Him at all times, it is in our choice to positive acts of connection-seeking that will help us over time.
We should feel really good about ourselves that we even care about bitachon, emunah, being frum, connecting to Hashem, finding meaning in Torah and mitzvot, and so on.
If we feel disgruntled about a lack in our lives...or our flaws and transgressions get us down...
...we should davka feel GOOD about this as evidence we care about the right things!
That angst makes you special.
And your angst should transform into simcha because it means you're part of a Godly elite.
Case in point:
In the American Regret Project survey of 16,000 people, only 10% expressed regret for morally wrong actions.
Do you think that's because those 16,000 Americans are so perfected, they simply have not committed moral wrongs, so have nothing to regret?
No, of course not.
Morality has gone down throughout society. People suffer warped values and do not even care about morality, except the kind of "morality" offering them comfy definitions.
So those thousands surveyed expressed regret for not having stayed in touch with their high school buddy.
They expressed regret over not working hard enough to get a promotion or not going to bed on time.
They expressed regret over not living their dreams.
But as far as regret over having lied, stolen, cheated, been mean to someone?
Only 1600 out of the 16,000 surveyed expressed regret for those kinds of moral reasons.
(That's really disturbing, if you think about it.)
So your disappointments and struggles with yourself mean that YOU ARE REALLY AWESOME!!!
So please take note of the words of bitachon excerpted above and use them to access your authentic wonderful self b'simcha.
(Or at least, with as much simcha or pleasure as you can muster in any given moment. No pressure...)
If we feel disgruntled about a lack in our lives...or our flaws and transgressions get us down...
...we should davka feel GOOD about this as evidence we care about the right things!
That angst makes you special.
And your angst should transform into simcha because it means you're part of a Godly elite.
Case in point:
In the American Regret Project survey of 16,000 people, only 10% expressed regret for morally wrong actions.
Do you think that's because those 16,000 Americans are so perfected, they simply have not committed moral wrongs, so have nothing to regret?
No, of course not.
Morality has gone down throughout society. People suffer warped values and do not even care about morality, except the kind of "morality" offering them comfy definitions.
So those thousands surveyed expressed regret for not having stayed in touch with their high school buddy.
They expressed regret over not working hard enough to get a promotion or not going to bed on time.
They expressed regret over not living their dreams.
But as far as regret over having lied, stolen, cheated, been mean to someone?
Only 1600 out of the 16,000 surveyed expressed regret for those kinds of moral reasons.
(That's really disturbing, if you think about it.)
So your disappointments and struggles with yourself mean that YOU ARE REALLY AWESOME!!!
So please take note of the words of bitachon excerpted above and use them to access your authentic wonderful self b'simcha.
(Or at least, with as much simcha or pleasure as you can muster in any given moment. No pressure...)
For links related to this topic:
- who-are-the-most-chosen-people-of-all.html
- as-long-as-you-are-a-fighter-you-are-a-great-person.html
- the-torah-was-not-meant-for-angels-so-its-also-not-meant-for-the-chronically-elusive-mr-perfect-what-does-that-mean-for-the-rest-of-us.html
- what-if-you-lean-more-toward-esav-than-yaakov-avinu-the-perfect-mitzvah-for-imperfect-people.html
Note:
The Bitachon Magazine features other encouraging stories and gems, plus inspiring poetry from different poets, including Nechumelle Jacobs.
The Bitachon Magazine is related to & under the auspices of Rabbi Yehuda Mandel, but not the same as Bitachon Weekly. The Bitachon Magazine consists of only 4 pages and seems geared more for women (though the above excerpts clearly benefit men too).
I'm not associated with this wonderful initiative in any way, but just passing on subscription information to whoever's interested:
To have The Bitachon Magazine emailed to you weekly, please send a request to bitachonmagazine@gmail.com
You can also sponsor or donate to the magazine via contacting them by that same email. When you sponsor or donate, any chizuk or positive results from the magazine also go into your Heavenly account, increasing your merits.
And no, I get no percentage if you do it. They don't even know I exist...
The Bitachon Magazine features other encouraging stories and gems, plus inspiring poetry from different poets, including Nechumelle Jacobs.
The Bitachon Magazine is related to & under the auspices of Rabbi Yehuda Mandel, but not the same as Bitachon Weekly. The Bitachon Magazine consists of only 4 pages and seems geared more for women (though the above excerpts clearly benefit men too).
I'm not associated with this wonderful initiative in any way, but just passing on subscription information to whoever's interested:
To have The Bitachon Magazine emailed to you weekly, please send a request to bitachonmagazine@gmail.com
You can also sponsor or donate to the magazine via contacting them by that same email. When you sponsor or donate, any chizuk or positive results from the magazine also go into your Heavenly account, increasing your merits.
And no, I get no percentage if you do it. They don't even know I exist...
RSS Feed