In Nefesh Chaya, Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus offers the best & surest way to improve tsniut:
​

• (1) Cultivate a relationship with Hashem by talking to Him.

​

• (2) Say brachot with kavanah – especially the asher yatzar bracha (which, among other things, thanks Hashem for concealed body parts & processes).

This wonderfully effective advice follows on the heels of a previous post:
An In-Depth Discussion of One of Today's Most Despised Topics: Tsniut/Tsnius/Modest & Dignified Behavior & Dress

For a couple of years now, I've been wanting to take a look at the famous collection of volumes called Netivot Shalom by the late Slonimer Rebbe Rabbi Sholom Noach Berezovsky ztz"l.

Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller gave a lecture series on it and Rebbetzin Esther Baila Schwartz called Netivot Shalom her "best friend," plus Rav Itamar Schwartz named it as one of his recommended mussar sefarim for women to learn. 

I don't know how much I can get through it at this point, but I figured it would help me out during the 10 Days of Teshuvah between Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur.

And it has!

I haven't completed its section for these 10 Days of Teshuvah (called Bein Keseh L'Asor), but here is the little bit I've gotten out of it and found so helpful.

(It's mostly from Ma'amar 4, Shabbat Shuva is the Root of Teshuvah.)

First of all, Rosh Hashanah renewed us all.

Literally.

We are totally new creations, the Universe is new, everything is new.

This is what enables you to do teshuvah right now and transform yourself deep within.

You literally are NOT the same "you" you were last year — which was only a few days ago.

You are different and NEW. So you can do different stuff than you did even just last week.

And with this new & improved you, we cruise into Yom Kippur. 

Shabbat is the most amazing way to do teshuvah.

Shabbat can even forgive a Jew who "worshiped idols like the generation of Enosh."

How is that remotely possible?

Shabbat does 2 incredibly powerful things:

1. Shabbat effects a deep-cleaning; it cleanses & rectifies your very neshamah.
2. Shabbat is a day of love; you are the zivug of Hashem on Shabbat.

When you keep Shabbat, you are completely nullifying yourself to Hashem, which is what cleanses you from avodah zarah and other frightfully yucky stuff.

Netivot Shalom enthuses a lot about doing teshuvah on Shabbat.

But how can you really do teshuvah on Shabbat?

After all, thinking about your sins makes you depressed — a big no-no on Shabbat.

There is no vidui on Shabbat, and the sections of confession don't appear in the Shabbat Amidah.

It seems that Netivot Shalom mentions teshuvah as coming close to Hashem.

FEELING close to Hashem. Thinking about Him whenever you can on Shabbat.

​If you imagine that Hashem is your zivug, like the most loving & cherishing spouse you could imagine, then you should speak & relate to Hashem in that way.

There's a famous verse in Shir HaShirim:
Ani yeshena v'libi er — I am asleep, and my heart is awake.

The mundane flawed you is the "I am asleep."

Shabbat is the "my heart is awake."

You might be asleep, so to speak, but Shabbat is your aroused heart; it's the neshamah that clings to Hashem.

Now, Shabbat Shuva (the Shabbat between Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur) is the most powerful Shabbat for neshamah-cleansing and deep-rooted teshuvah.

But hey, I missed it too because I didn't get to this part of the sefer before then.

Still, it's good to know that ALL Shabbatot produce this wonderful cleansing & forgiving effect.

​As Netivot Shalom states:

Don't despair if you're not feeling it during this special time.

It simply means that you haven't succeeded in completely rectifying your distance from Hashem.

​You may have rectified some of it, but not completely.

So what should you do?

Take upon yourself this idea of Shabbat Kodesh.

As Netivot Shalom says:

Shabbat is the time to get back in touch with your soul-root. It's the time to really cleave to Hashem.

Right now, you can think about Hashem or talk to Hashem as there is "no curtain" between you.

You can also think about how to improve your future Shabbatot.

Bringing Shabbat in a little earlier, adding a special food, setting some time aside to think about Hashem, to focus on that emotion of closeness & deveikut...

These are all ideas that effect powerful transformation at the soul level.

And if you haven't been keeping Shabbat?

Now is the time to decide to keep whatever you can throughout Shabbat, whatever you know about keeping Shabbat.

And try your best to get that feeling in there too, even if it's only for a moment.

Shabbat is all about the deepest, purest kind of love there is.

And that is exactly what rectifies your neshamah and brings the real you back to your soul-root.

One of the many things I love about Words of Faith (a 2-volume compilation of Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender's talks) is the examples of people who did teshuvah.

I think it's so important to speak about the accomplishments of externally unremarkable people.

Or seemingly hopeless people.

And I mean REALLY hopeless-seeming people.

For example, Rav Bender describes a man who is basically a bum who hogs the heater in the Uman shul all the tefillah. (This is my terminology; Rav Bender's description is far more refined.)

For impoverished & cold attendees like Rav Bender, this meant they never had a chance to warm up. Ever. Due to the man's choice of language and topics, Rav Bender and others could not stand near the jerk, even to enjoy the heat.

Yet this same worthless bum later did complete teshuvah, and even made a very good name for himself.

(For the full story, please see: 2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation.)
​
Interestingly, Rav Bender mentions no observation of a certain kind of "spark" or hidden potential during the time he knew the boorish man. Instead, Rav Bender sounds pleasantly surprised that after immigrating to America, the man made a deep & gradual change.

So the point is that you do not need to be some kind of special person to do teshuvah.

You don't even need to be a decent person or even someone with an ounce of EQ (emotional intelligence).

I just love the story of the boorish meat-selling bum because to me, his teshuvah is more inspiring than that of a big rasha (as featured in The True Story of How a Murderer Did Teshuvah).

After all, big reshaim can be a charismatic. They can be intelligent & savvy.

The story of the insensitive boor who is not embarrassed to hog the shul heater right in front of tremendous tzaddikim is the one that gives me the most hope.

And Rav Bender offers us another inspiring story (pg. 178, Vol I).

Originally, Dovid Heisener was "a secular Jew devoid of Torah and mitzvos" who was also "a material person whose entire aspiration was to 'live it up'."

Dovid Heisener fearlessly risked his life to amass great wealth via the illegal transaction of dollars & gold.

Yet despite being a savvy & careful guy, Dovid Heisener was caught in Moscow with dollars on him, which earned him the punishment of banishment for 3 years.

Oddly, the court allowed him to choose where he would spend this banishment.

Even more oddly, he chose Uman in the Ukraine.

After arriving in Uman with his wife & family, Dovid Heisener heard there was a "Breslov theater" in Uman.

So, being a "happy scoffer" (as Rav Bender described him), Dovid Heisener made his way to the Breslov shul to see these "strange people who danced and jumped and practiced bizarre customs not like others..."

And indeed, Dovid Heisener found it all strange and entertaining at first.

It's obvious from Rav Bender's description that Rav Bender and the shul rabbi, Rav Avraham ben Rav Nachman, understood exactly why this "happy scoffer" was sitting in their shul.

You can also imagine how they were made fun of among the townspeople after watching this "Breslov theater," as Dovid Heisener called it.

But as always, they held by Rebbe Nosson's original custom that if someone attends the Breslov shul, there must be a reason for it, and to allow the person to attend in peace.

It doesn't mean you hang out with that person.

It doesn't mean you invite the guy for Shabbos.

But don't push him away, either.

Gradually, Dovid Heisener noticed the "deep seriousness" and "fear of Heaven" resting on the faces of the chassidim.

His attendance became regular, then he started participating in the davening and also attended the Torah classes.

Ultimately, Dovid Heisener did complete teshuvah.

And with the proceeds and materials from his leather business, Dovid Heisener provided warm coats & snow shoes to all those who wished to go out into the fields for hitbobedut during the harsh Russian winters.

In the words of Rav Bender (pg. 180):

I hope that we can all derive inspiration from the fact that even if you're just a money-loving, adventurous, entertainment-seeking scoffer, you can still do complete teshuvah.

And even more so, if you're NOT starting out on such a low level.

​But either way, there's definitely hope!

Here are the some of Rav Bender's stories of inspiring teshuvah:

• The True Story of How a Murderer Did Teshuvah
• From Wise-Cracking Businessman to Soul-Stirring Holy Man
• ​2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation

​Originally, I wanted to list & review the main books that formed my opinions & knowledge of the modern history within Eretz Yisrael.
 
Yet what was supposed to be a list & review of several books ended up turning into one long review of what was, for me, the most transformational of the books:
Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life & Times of Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld written by his grandson, Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Sonnenfeld. (Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld ztz"l was born in Eastern Europe in 1848 and passed away in Eretz Yisrael in 1932.) 

This is an abridged translation of the 3-volume Hebrew Ha'Ish al HaChomah (The Man on the Wall). 
 
On the other hand, while I and others found this book transformational, I met other people who found the book merely “interesting” or even just so-so.
 
Yet for me, this pivotal book opened my eyes to so much.

​For example, the people I was always taught to respect as the “pioneering heroes” of Turkish- and then British-occupied Palestine were actually dangerous power-hungry rabble-rousers who either cared very little for or outright hated Judaism, and continuously endangered their fellow Jews.

Ironically, these "pioneering heroes" nearly wiped out Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael — ​which was then rescued by the very ultra-Orthodox rabbis so profoundly despised by these pioneering heroes and their adherents; such adherents also include historians who should know better.

​For example, throughout the world, non-Orthodox Jewish communities hold up Eliezer Ben-Yehudah as a great hero, mostly for his revival of Hebrew as a modern language.
 
Yet he created great problems, not only for religious Jews in Eretz Yisrael, but for all Jews living in Eretz Yisrael, and ultimately ended up endangering every single one of the Jews living under the rule of the Turkish Ottoman Empire.
 
For instance, Ben-Yehudah published an article in 1895 that seemed to encourage a bloody revolution of the Jews against the Turkish rulers.
 
And while religious Jews have always been coming to Eretz Yisrael over the millennia, it was the new secular nationalist Jewish movement that caused the Turkish rulers to ban Jewish immigration in 1884.

Sometimes, the Ottoman authorities issued decrees prohibiting Jews from outside of Eretz Yisrael to buy land or housing in Eretz Yisrael. When some Jews tried to go around this prohibition, the Turkish authorities expanded the decrees to ban home repairs — like fixing leaky roofs.

Needless to say, this not only impeded Jewish aliyah, but also increased the deprivations of Jews already settled in the Holy Land.
 
In fact, the famed tzaddik, Rav Shmuel Salant, tried intervening with the Turkish governor to allow Jewish aliyah, but the nationalist revolution-mongering articles repeatedly published in the secular Jewish newspapers of Eastern Europe kept the Turks in a state of wariness. It was only with great effort that Rav Salant was able to convince the Turks to re-open Jewish immigration.
 
This is only one example of this particular historical deception put out by the secular Left.
 
So it was actually the “ultra”-Orthodox Jewish Sages who came to (or were born in) Eretz Yisrael, these same pious Sages who lived in Eretz Yisrael and did everything they could to keep the borders open for the aliyah of their fellow Jews.
 
The secular Leftists in Eastern Europe who called themselves “Zionists” and embraced Communism were the ones who actually provoked the bans on aliyah and stunted Jewish immigration to Eretz Yisrael.
 
But you’ll never hear that outside the frum community because in the Leftist narrative, the Torah-observant Jews are always the bad guys and the obstacles, and the assimilated “progressive” Jews are always the heroes.
 
So when the Turkish rulers got wind of this article, it spelled very bad news for ALL Jews throughout the empire.
 
As a result, Rav Salant convened a meeting of fellow Sages, including Rav Sonnenfeld.
 
Rav Sonnenfeld advised turning to the local Sephardi Gadol Hador Rav Yaakov Shaul Elyashar for assistance.
 
Why?
 
Due to all the nationalist revolution-mongering sentiment coming out of secular Jewish Europe, the Turks lost their trust of Ashkenazi Jews (although Rav Salant himself still had some influence). Because the Sephardi Jews under their reign never agitated against them, they still trusted the Sephardi Jews.
 
Along these lines, Rav Sonnenfeld recommended that Rav Salant and the Ashkenazi beit din proclaim their support of Rav Elyashar, to which Rav Salant and the other Ashkenazi rabbis immediately agreed.
 
The Ashkenazi Gadolei Hador sent a rabbinical emissary to this Sephardi Sage Rav Elyashar with a copy of the incriminating article. Upon reading Ben-Yehudah’s inflammatory message, Rav Elyashar became incensed upon realizing the danger his beloved Jewish brethren were suddenly in.

​Rav Elyashar immediately contacted the Turkish authorities with a message of unequivocal rejection of the ideas within the article, insisting that such ideas did not reflect the Jewish community at large.
 
This showed Heavenly assisted foresight because at that moment, news of the article reached the seat of the empire in Constantinople, which resulted in the Sultan himself summoning the Gadol of Turkey, Rav Moshe HaLevi.
 
The advisers to the Sultan recommended harsh measures against the Jews. In fact, unbeknownst to any of the Jews (including these great Sages) of that time, the Turkish council decided it wanted to expel ALL Jews from the ENTIRE Ottoman empire!

(According to my estimates, this included around a million Jews — maybe less.)
 
Needless to say, this would have sparked a terrible catastrophe for Sephardi Jewry, with nowhere to go — and the Jews of Eretz Yisrael included in this expulsion! At that time, the Ottoman Empire compassed Jewish communities throughout the entire Middle East (minus Arabia & Iran).
 
Fortunately, the Sultan held such a high opinion of Rav Yaakov Shaul Elyashar & Rav Shmuel Salant (the two leading Sephardi & Ashkenazi authorities in Eretz Yisrael at that time), the Sultan first wished to hear from these two great Sages.
 
A reply to the Sultan was dictated by Rav Elyashar in his name & the name of Rav Shmuel Salant to Rav Yosef Rivlin, who then sent it to Rav Moshe HaLevi in Turkey.
 
Admirably, the reply was straight-foward & unapologetic about the innate Jewish yearning for the re-establishment of Tzion & Yerushalayim.

Yet it stated this fundamental Torah concept in an appealing & non-threatening manner.

​The great Sage emphasized the Jewish yearning to return to Yerushalayim & live under their own king, but emphasized that they are praying for God to bring this about. He also reassured the Sultan that Jews are commanded to pray for the welfare of whatever kingdom they live in and that they certainly pray for the welfare of the Turkish empire.
 
This communiqué signed by the 2 great Sages of Eretz Yisrael freed the Sultan to refuse to issue a decree of expulsion.
 
Interestingly, this communiqué also saved Ben-Yehudah, whom the Turks wanted to punish harshly. Instead, he was sentenced to 1 year in prison (which is still pretty bad, considering the Turkish prisons of that time) — but even that sentence was eventually suspended.
 
Yet how was this tremendous salvation reported by the agitating anti-Torah activists in Europe?
 
Negatively!
 
The secular Jewish newspaper HaTzefira condemned this heroic act of the Gedolei Hador as “mesirah”—informing on fellow Jews to the non-Jewish authorities!

It bears emphasizing again: The Turkish authorities already knew about the article. It wasn't the Sages who brought it to their attention. If there was any mesirah here, it was committed by Ben-Yehudah and the irresponsible publishers of such articles. And anyway, this wasn't the only article that worried the Turks; this had been going on for a while.
 
So we see how a distorted Jewish history is taught to unsuspecting Jews outside the Torah community.

Here's another story that appeared in a previous post, but I'm reposting here for your convenience:

​At one point, Rav Sonnenfeld went way out of his way to save the life of a terrible Jew (“one of the leaders of the Zionist Labor Federation, known for his virulent anti-religious attacks”) who needed the superior medical treatment provided only at Shaarei Tzedek hospital...and only Rav Sonnenfeld could make it happen.
 
To provide some background: The Beit Din of Yerushalayim had placed a ban on anyone who entered the Missionary Hospital, whether for work or for treatment, with dire results for anyone who violated this ban.
 
Anyway, it was assumed that the legendary Dr. Wallach of Shaarei Tzedek would refuse to admit a person who both intentionally chose treatment at the Missionary Hospital (despite the ban and the poorer medical treatment there) and who operated as a rabid anti-Torah Leftist bent on destroying Yiddishkeit in Eretz Yisrael.
 
Indeed, upon being brought to Shaarei Tzedek, the Leftist and his family encountered resistance from Dr. Wallach.
 
Interestingly, the family asked an off-the-derech youth to approach Rav Sonnenfeld.

​This youth was the son of a big talmid chacham and well-known to Rav Sonnenfeld. This youth also knew that Rav Sonnenfeld was “quite upset” with this same youth for leaving Torah and befriending this anti-Torah Leftist.
 
Nonetheless, this same youth approached Rav Sonnenfeld at home, where Rav Sonnenfeld still received this youth with warmth.

Upon hearing of the urgent situation, the rav braved a severe thunderstorm to rush to Shaarei Tzedek, where Rav Sonnenfeld insisted that halacha demanded the admission of this dangerously ill traitor (but promised to discuss the matter with Dr. Wallach later).
 
Two weeks later, the anti-Torah Leftist experienced a miraculous recovery, then continued his nefarious activities.
 
Knowing how much the Leftist disliked Rav Sonnenfeld, none of the Leftist's associates informed him of Rav Sonnenfeld’s life-saving intervention & mesirut nefesh.
 
By the way, this also shows the mentality of such misguided people. Why not tell the Leftist leader? Why not tell this rabid hater that one of the Gadolei Hador saved his life? Maybe it would soften him up a bit. At least, it might stop him from attacking the tzaddikim. Maybe he’d more willingly to hear Rav Sonnenfeld’s side and compromise a bit.

​But those who knew davka decided to be careful not to tell him. So once again, we see that Leftists don’t really pursue peace; they have other agendas.
 
Anyway, a year later, this same Leftist delivered a keynote speech at a groundbreaking ceremony for a new settlement in the North. When he reached the climax of his speech, this Leftist gave a frenzied shout:

​Sitting in the audience was the same youth who’d interceded on the Leftist’s behalf.

This frenzied proclamation spurred the youth to jump to his feet and shout his protest against such slander.

​At the invitation of the shocked Leftist, the youth took over the podium and explained to all assembled “exactly how the ‘black arm’ of R’ Chaim Sonnenfeld had interceded to save the life of one who had vowed to destroy him.”
 
Not that this revelation of Rav Sonnenfeld's great goodness softened up the haters.

They continued on as they were.

Furthermore, Guardian of Jerusalem shows clearly how the secular Leftists keep landing on the wrong side of history.

Because they don’t actually care about their fellow Jews, but only their own political interests, they tend to make concessions when it’s better to be unyielding, and conversely, display aggression when diplomacy would work better.
 
History has shown again & again that Socialism & Communism demand a complete takeover of the government.

Because these movements necessitate what’s known as “big government,” this inherently means that they must take over all aspects of government. By virtue of their big government policies, Socialism & Communism demand complete domination (for themselves) and complete submission (of their citizens).

(And in the case of the Communists, this domination & submission repeatedly occurs via much cruelty & bloodshed.) 
 
But people like Rav Sonnenfeld & other Gedolei Hador (who actually care about all Jews) knew when to stand tough and when to seek peace. Real talmidei chachamim routinely seek win-win solutions, which benefit the surrounding non-Jews too.

​In fact, Rav Sonnenfeld decided to make a kind of peace agreement with the King of Jordan (known at that time as King Hussein ibn-Ali of the Hashemite Kingdom). 

Considered the senior & most influential leader in the Middle East at that time, King Hussein’s newspaper actually lauded the Jewish return to their Homeland & called on the local Arabs to remember the writings & traditions that bade them to be hospitable & tolerant, focusing on the accomplishments of the Jewish and stressing that Eretz Yisrael was the “holy and beloved birthplace of the Jews.”
 
Once again, we see repeated throughout history that our holy tzaddikim often win the love and respect of the non-Jewish leaders.

​As the last Gemara in Brachot says: "Talmidei chachamim increase shalom in the world."
 
Rav Sonnenfeld sought a meeting with the king to enable unlimited Jewish aliyah, but was thwarted by the secular Leftists who wanted to take over.
 
Unfortunately, the anti-Torah Leftists discovered this planned charedi delegation and denounced it as “treacherous,” presenting it as undermining the interests of the people of Israel.

(It didn't. It only improved the interests of the people of Israel. However, it did loosen the anti-Torah Leftist stranglehold on Jewish society in Eretz Yisrael.)
 
The anti-Torah Leftists also resorted to physical threats, which intimidated several of the charedi delegates into withdrawing.

However, 3 delegates managed to reach the king and presented an appealing plea, not only for continued aliyah, but also for an improvement in the conditions of the Jews already living in Eretz Yisrael.
 
The king received them warmly, bestowed honors upon them, and even handed them a large sum of money to be distributed among the Jewish poor of Yerushalayim.

​At the same time, Rav Sonnenfeld viewed the actual Land with reverence and saw both the return of religious Jews and the newfound patriotism of the secular Jews as the beginning of the Geula — even as he waged an unwavering battle against all the anti-Torah leaders and their agendas, and against encroaching secularism itself.
 
In fact, Rav Sonnenfeld was not afraid to tell Chaim Weizmann that: 

​Rav Sonnenfeld went on to denigrate the secular concept of Zion as:

​...while considering a Jewish sovereignty as “icing on the cake, which will come by itself.”

​(page 375)

Rav Sonnenfeld lovingly told a grandson (who received an invitation to serve as rav in one of Czechoslovakia’s leading communities): 

His grandson decided to remain in Eretz Yisrael.  
 
After the savage riots & massacres of 1929, Rav Sonnenfeld insisted on performing a bris milah in an area that necessitated his passing through some particularly dangerous Yishmaeli neighborhoods.
 
When a friend literally grabbed Rav Sonnenfeld’s arm and begged him not to proceed, Rav Sonnenfeld declared:

​(pg. 252)

Throughout the book, you repeatedly see displays of Rav Sonnenfeld’s dedication to the poor, the downtrodden, Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael, bringing Torah to all Jews; you see his incredible ahavat Yisrael and his profound sympathy toward even the most errant Jews.

You see his dedication toward peace among fellow Jews, particularly among the different groups of Torah-observant Jews, and also peace with non-Jewish authorities in an effort to prevent wars and bloodshed of both Jews & non-Jews.

The ultimate example of a warrior from love, Rav Sonnenfeld exemplified humility & a total commitment to Hashem.
 
In contrast, the viciousness & power-lust of the anti-Torah Leftists also come through: 

• their willingness to assassinate individuals who interfere with their grab for power
• their willingness to starve entire communities, including children
• You see their impetuousness that threatens Jews far & wide.
• You see exactly how their ego-driven efforts actually shut down the very aliyah they claim they stand for and increase the suffering of the Jews of Eretz Yisrael

​ 
This is also seen through the secular manipulation of the Sephardi communities, which continued long after the establishment of Medinat Yisrael.

​While the Ashkenazi tzaddikim (like Rav Sonnenfeld) displayed great concern for their Sephardi brethren, the secular Leftists would plot against the Ashkenazi religious community and when the religious Ashkenazim resisted, the Leftists would cry, “Racism!” and insist they were acting on behalf of the Sephardim.
 
They never were, as repeatedly shown by their actions since then. 

Looking at everything altogether, it seems inconceivable that the anti-Torah Leftists hated Rav Sonnenfeld so rabidly.

Here was a man who loved Hashem so much, he couldn't help but to love Hashem's Land and also Hashem's people — even the most errant ones.

Looking at just a sampling of what Rav Sonnenfeld achieved:

• He saved Ottoman Jewry from terrible suffering.
• He saved the entire Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael (exactly what the self-proclaimed Zionist claimed to be so gung-ho about).
• He saved Ben-Yehudah from harsh punishment.
• He saved one of his vicious opposers from certain death.
• He refused to allow others to say yemach shemo when mentioning Ben-Yehudah.
• He even found a positive merit in the extremely dysfunctional Ben-Yehudah.

​ — How is it possible to hate such a person as Rav Sonnenfeld?

Not to mention that as far as Jewish assertion over who Eretz Yisrael really belongs to: Rav Sonnenfeld showed far more dedication & courage than the anti-Torah Leftists who made settling the Land into a Nationalist Communist vision, rather than a holy one.

Why did this paragon of love (love of God, love of Torah, love of the Jewish people, love of Eretz Yisrael) engender such hatred, including from the very people who benefited from his efforts?

(Even if they didn't know of his efforts on their behalf at the time, they still should have been able to sense his sincerity, holiness, and caring — ​because it was so palpable.)

And I think it goes back to a chassidish idea: A tzaddik is a mirror.

(Please see the story of The Black Wolf for illustration of this concept.)

These anti-Torah Leftists were full of ego and hunger for power & dominance. They literally hated anyone who got in their way. (You must have a very black heart indeed if you are able to starve small children death.)

I think that they couldn't grasp the concept of love and living your life out of love.

I think they couldn't ever relate to going to battle out of love rather than hate & ego.

And when they saw someone who represented everything they weren't, it looked so wrong that they literally could not tolerate him.

Along these lines, there is the well-known rabid envy that some uneducated people feel toward Torah scholars, as described by Rebbi Akiva in Pesachim, that when he was an illiterate man, he could have bitten the Torah scholars with the bone-shattering gnash of a donkey.

​The above is just a tiny sampling. At around 470 pages, this book contains many more well-documented examples of the truth behind the promoted history of modern Eretz Yisrael.

​Ultimately, I found myself in heartfelt agreement with the man who told Rav Sonnenfeld's grandson (page 135):

​And this insight shows how vital it is to read this book again & again in order to fully grasp Rav Sonnenfeld’s ideals & who he really was, to study and glean from his deeds and his words how to truly follow in his path.

A couple of weeks ago, I came across a couple of stories similar to what appeared in Are We Still Longing for Aspects of Mitzrayim? 

In Lea Fuchs Chayen's book From the Depths I Call (also written about in Feeling the Pain of Another Jew's Sin), a variety of responses to the horrific events are described.

I can't & don't judge them because it's impossible for anyone to know how any of us would respond in the same situation, may we never be tested by such things.

Of course, I would love to think I'd be like Lea or any of her awe-inspiring friends...like the group of 5 sisters who survived the death camps together — and even "adopted" another young teenage girl (simply because they felt bad that she was all alone), making it a group of 6.

​This is particularly jaw-dropping because everyone was starving & freezing, and splitting food and other resources among 5 girls is already heroic, let alone adopt a 6th girl into the group. 

Or the teenage girl who literally saved Lea's life by giving Lea the girl's own crocheted undershirt in the winter, which left the girl with only one layer to withstand the elements — and again, in a terribly emaciated state amid inhuman conditions.

It's all such mind-bogglingly heroic compassion.

So yes, I would love to imagine myself responding as gloriously as those Jewish girls, but I can't deny that I could just as easily respond like the girl Lea describes in the death camp who suddenly fell into the delusion that she was an SS dog, and spent the entire night outside the barracks barking terribly and trying to bite people — until she was "taken away."

Or the other teenage Kapo girl who'd been at the death camp so long, she lost her humanity. She screamed abuse at her fellow Jewish girls and used her metal stick freely.

(And even though Lea suffered the Kapo's terrible verbal abuse and gets struck in the head by the metal stick, she compassionately refers to this Kapo as "Poor girl, how long has she been here in Birkenau?...She looks totally mad.") 

Early on, Lea notes that the conditions are created specifically to reduce the Jews to animalistic or lunatic behavior, to destroy their souls before destroying their bodies.

In other words, the mental deterioration was clearly part of the Nazi plot and not just a result of the ongoing genocide, but a deliberate part of the whole idea.

Somehow, Lea has the presence of mind to realize this and is able to mentally & spiritually resist this aspect of the Nazi destruction.

So yes, I would LIKE to think that I'd be like Lea and her friends.

But who can really be so confident of themselves?

So we don't judge the less ideal responses & we don't feel superior.

At the same time, we can still glean lessons that apply to us even now.

One of the young women Lea knows from her home town in Hungary was a gymnastics teacher.

Upon first arriving at the death camp, this lovely young gymnastics teacher whispers encouragement to Lea, confident that when their shaved heads grow hair again, their hair will be even nicer & stronger than it was before. Regarding their now-bare feet, the gymnastics teacher whispers that it's actually healthier to walk without shoes and that in a week or two, they will not even notice the lack of footwear.

It's worth noting that Lea and the others are only saved temporarily and "accidentally."

There was not enough room in the gas chambers when they arrived. So they're only being held until there's a lag in the deadly transports for their "turn." 

And Lea was desperate to leave the death camp — but not to avoid death.

At that point, she didn't care about life and was actually disappointed she had not died with her family.

However, Lea could not bear the constant smell of burning Jews, accompanied at night by the sight of flames against the dark sky.

This is in addition to the vile conditions, the crazed Kapos, the demonic female SS commanders and their evilly trained dogs, the constant verbal & physical abuse, and the constant threat of a torturous death.

The girls soon discovered that one could volunteer for slave labor in a German factory.

Volunteering meant getting a number tattooed on the forearm before being sent off for slave labor, but that was not a deterrent for Lea or the other girls — except for one young woman: the former gymnastics instructor.

When she and Lea discussed the option of leaving the camp by volunteering for slave labor (which meant a tattoo on the forearm), the gymnastics instructor refused, telling Lea, "imagine what a tattooed arm would look like in an elegant evening dress."

Now.

We don't judge this young woman. We don't imagine we would be better.

Furthermore, holding onto the hope that she will survive and live again is a very strong aspect of survival.

For example, Lea also spoke of her old home life with her friends in the slave labor at the factories. This helped her retain her authentic self.

​However, Lea remembered learning Tehillim with mefarshim with her father, seudah shlishis meals in the garden in the summer, her parents' chessed, her grandparents' piety, her older sisters' engagements & weddings & visits with their young children — not elegant evening dresses and the occasions that demand such dresses.

Also, Lea sat with her father at one point during the terrible time before they were transported, and received a clear psak about when she was allowed to commit suicide (only if she was about to be violated). Baruch Hashem, things never reached that point and she later wrote that this psak formed a strong foundation for her survival resolve.

Yes, Lea was lucky that her family remained sincerely frum amid the anti-Torah ideologies that infected Europe, so Lea's memories & inner world contained meaningful content that helped her survive, both mentally & spiritually.

What I mean to focus on is the attachment to the idea of an evening gown (and not a long-sleeved garment that would cover the forearm) and all that entails, and latching on to this idea to the point that, even as you smell your own people burning and see the flames against the sky, you are only concerned about how you'll look in an evening gown.

Meaning, I want to survive this horrific genocide of millions of Jews in Europe for...what?

And who brought the culture of evening gatherings with evening gowns?

The Magyar nobility & the cultured German elite.

These are the same people who crammed you into a ghetto in Hungary, tortured your wealthy ones for their hidden treasures, packed you into inhuman cattle cars, and are burning your people — with the intention of you next in line.

Lea doesn't say what the gymnastics instructor's background is, but if the evening gown culture is what she falls back on, then maybe she didn't have anything else in her background to cling to.

And who is to blame for that?

(Not her, in my opinion.) 

Similarly, Lea later meets a thirtysomething Jewish woman in the slave labor factory. 

Lea's impression of the woman is that she led a rather "dissolute" lifestyle prior to the Nazi invasion. (In other words, she was not only not religious at all, but didn't lead such a savory life by social standards either.)

At one point, right before the end of the war, Lea, this thirtysomething woman, and the other girls found themselves being transported in an open boxcar full of snow.

They were all on the verge of death from starvation and overwork. Lea describes them lying there like "zombies."

Suddenly, Lea manages to pull herself together and remember her resolution to keep track of the Jewish calendar. Realizing that she has not announced the Jewish date for the last 2 days, Lea announces the Jewish date and day of the week, including the startling fact that the next day will be Purim.

Then Lea (despite her near-death "zombie" state) gives chizuk to everyone by expressing the hope that in a few years time, they would all be celebrating Purim in their own homes, surrounded by their families, and finding it difficult to believe then what they were going through now.

(Lea admits that she herself did not believe what she was saying, but her desire to give chizuk & hope on the verge of death in such hopeless circumstances was admirable. Furthermore, it ended up being somewhat true for Lea, who married a wonderful religious Jew with whom she had healthy children, and they indeed celebrated many Purims together.)

To this, the thirtysomething woman said, "Who is Purim?"

Lea then told her a Hungarian word: Farsang.

(Evidently, this woman was so far removed from Judaism, she hadn't even heard of Purim. Also, I looked this up and apparently Farsang doesn't even mean "Purim," but it simply refers to a seemingly pagan-based Hungarian carnival. Again, it probably wasn't her fault. If she'd never heard of Purim, then she was probably raised without any Torah.)

The woman then said, "Every one of you is crazy if you have nothing else to think of."

Then she turned to Lea and invited Lea to visit her "after the war" in her "elegant apartment in Budapest" where she would receive Lea in her "most elegant clothes" while sporting her "long platinum blonde hair."

Again, without being judgmental, the contrast here is striking. 

Lea gives the girls real chizuk by encouraging them to look forward to a time when they'll be living Torah lives among a Jewish family home life.

This is something really live for.

Yet this thirtysomething woman not only derides merely thinking about Torah life as "crazy," but shares her own hope that she will be living a decadent, empty lifestyle once again.

Again, the point of these stories is not to point fingers.

Well, not to point fingers at anyone except ourselves, anyway.

Why?

Because there are lessons here for us, mussar for us.

For our fellow Jews in those times, when everything was stripped away, you had people yearning for Purim & you had other people yearning for evening gowns.

In other words, you had people looking forward to renewing a Jewish life & you had people looking forward to renewing a non-Jewish life.

I'm not talking about people so traumatized that they couldn't believe in God anymore.

I'm not talking about people who became crazy or violent in a crazy & violent hell not of their making.

I'm talking about people who at their very essence (through no fault of their own) had nothing to hold on to except the very culture (Europe/Esav) that created this horror in the first place.

And I've been really thinking a lot about this myself:

• Who am I?

 

• How much Yiddishkeit have I really internalized?

 

• Do I have yearnings for aspects of a non-Torah lifestyle?

 

• Is there any part of me that still yearns for Mitzrayim and its ridiculous cucumbers and meaningless fleshpots even as I am surrounded by Ananei Kavod (Clouds of Glory) and feasting on mann? (so to speak)

Looking around today, how many people would chose to stay in a death camp in the hope of a WiFi connection or to see who wins in their favorite reality show?

How many people's main fantasy would be about regaining their Twitter account or their feel-good drugs (legal or illegal) or their Harry Potter books "after the war"?

You can go on and on with this list because the bombardment of "Mitzrayim" has never been as powerful or as all-encompassing as in our generation (which is melamed zechut on us, but still).

It's always hard to produce a post like this (and thus, I've only done it a few times) because it can so easily be misunderstood as judging people I've no right to judge and feeling holier-than-thou about people who were usually much better than me.

That's not how I feel & that's not what this is about.

Like I said, how do I know that I wouldn't be a violent cursing Kapo or a barking & biting dog-girl or living for the sake of an evening gown?

I don't know that I wouldn't!

Who can believe in their own goodness with so much confidence?

Not me.

The point is to ask myself:

• Who am I REALLY?

 

• How deep & internalized are my Torah values?

 

• How nourished is my neshamah?

​And it's not to prepare ourselves for a similar test — b'ezrat Hashem, we will NEVER be tested in such a way!

On a practical level, we can ask ourselves what we're eager to do when we have some free time to ourselves:

Are we eager to:

• read that novel that's kind of kosher, but anyway, we just skim over the not-so-kosher parts
• check social media
• finish off the all the leftover Shabbos desserts
• fume & obsess (with no practical benefit) over the behavior of a co-worker, boss, family member, or someone I saw on the street

Or do we look to utilize that time to:

• Make some kind of cheshbon hanefesh
• Daven Mincha
• Talk to Hashem as we would our Best Friend
• Write or verbalize a gratitude list
• Listen to a shiur 
• ​Read a dvar Torah or learn halacha
• Spend time with my child
• ​Spend time with anyone else who needs it

Of course, this list can also go on.

​And yes, there are also mundane yet necessary things, like running errands, taking a much-needed nap, exercising, and so on, that are worthy endeavors.

For example, if you skimp on buying your child some much-needed new shoes or let necessary foods run out because you're saying Tehillim, then that does not make you a spiritual person.

The point is one of priorities.
 
Probably many of us wobble between the two sides.

Sometimes we spend our time wisely and meaningfully, and sometimes we indulge our baser nature.

Yet any step we can take in the higher direction can eventually lead to amazing spiritual progress.

The point is that by making ourselves as Torahdik on the inside as the outside (if not even more) and by nourishing our neshamah so much that it will naturally produce illumination in even the harshest times, then we are achieving both personal and National tikkun.

In other words, we'll be accomplishing what Hashem put us here for as individuals and also what Hashem wants to achieve through Am Yisrael.

It also sweetens din, both on the personal level and for the whole world.

​Every once in a while, Hashem enables you to come full circle within certain aspects of life.
 
For example, the biography of Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld ztz"l, Guardian of Jerusalem, changed my life and stamped an everlasting imprint on my hashkafah.
 
It was that book which shined light on the shadow surrounding the stories and scenarios I’d been told as a child in the movement for Conservative (which is actually quite liberal) “Judaism.”
 
I never consciously sensed the lies by omission nor the distortions regarding the modern history of Eretz Yisrael.

​But upon reading Guardian of Jerusalem, so much came pouring back to me and I now saw the distorted history I’d been fed—corrected and displayed in full.
 
The maskilim and Leftist “pioneers” portrayed as heroes—they nearly destroyed the struggling Jewish settlement under Turkish rule. It was always either the Sephardi chachamim or the Ashkenazi chachamim who came to the rescue.
 
Yet I was always told the opposite: The religious Jews were always the bad guys; the “enlightened” liberal anti-religious Socialists were the saviors (although the fact that they were Socialists—or even Communists, really—was swept aside in the Commie-fearing Eighties).

I developed tremendous love and reverence for Rav Sonnenfeld, the father of the stream now known as “charedi.” He possessed an overpowering love for every Jew and for Eretz Yisrael.

​He was also a tremendous warrior against the anti-Torah ideologies—but his zeal came from love.
 
He was a warrior from love.
 
Absolutely fearless, a warrior propelled by love, and a great ohev Hashem, ohev Yisrael, and ohev Eretz Yisrael, Rav Sonnenfeld was exactly what I wanted to be.

​And over 20 years later, he is still the example I embrace, even though I’m still dropping very short of his example—mostly because I can’t figure out how to get there. But as usual, I figure there’s value in the effort.
 
Anyway, after one of my sons first started yeshivah, he came home telling me that one of his teachers was Ashkenazi and the great-grandson of Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld. 
 
Stunned with joy and gratitude, I could not believe the big chessed Hashem had done for me by placing the great-grandson of my role model as my son’s teacher.

And this great-grandson was an excellent teacher for teenage boys.

Extremely energetic, good-humored, yet highly intelligent and very much a product of his family’s hashkafah, he was also very understanding of dealing with all the challenges of being a teenage boy and a frum Jew in today’s world.
 
He was very open and honest with the boys about the challenges this generation faces, and he gave over his Torah approach with great passion and conviction.
 
My husband and I met him during a parent-teacher evening and he was very friendly.
 
At one point, I asked my son to do me a big favor. 

​I wanted an answer to a question I’d had about a certain event in the early 1920s, as recorded on pages 135-137 of Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life & Times of Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld.
 
At one point, Rav Sonnenfeld went way out of his way to save the life of a terrible Jew (“one of the leaders of the Zionist Labor Federation, known for his virulent anti-religious attacks”) who needed the superior treatment provided only at Shaarei Tzedek hospital and only Rav Sonnenfeld could make it happen.
 
To provide some background: The Beit Din of Yerushalayim had placed a ban on anyone who entered the Missionary Hospital, whether for work or for treatment, with dire results for anyone who violated this ban.
 
Anyway, it was assumed that the legendary Dr. Wallach of Shaarei Tzedek would refuse to admit a person who both intentionally chose treatment at the Missionary Hospital (despite the ban and the poorer medical treatment there) and was a rabid anti-Torah Leftist bent on destroying Yiddishkeit in Eretz Yisrael.
 
Indeed, upon being brought to Shaarei Tzedek, the Leftist and his family encountered resistance from Dr. Wallach.
 
Interestingly, the family asked an off-the-derech youth to approach Rav Sonnenfeld. This youth was the son of a big talmid chacham and well-known to Rav Sonnenfeld. This youth also knew that Rav Sonnenfeld was “quite upset” with this same youth for leaving Torah and befriending this anti-Torah Leftist.
 
Nonetheless, this youth approached Rav Sonnenfeld at home, where Rav Sonnenfeld still received this youth with warmth.

Upon hearing of the urgent situation, the rav braved a severe thunderstorm to rush to Shaarei Tzedek, where Rav Sonnenfeld insisted that halacha demanded the admission of this dangerously ill traitor (but promised to discuss the matter with Dr. Wallach later).
 
Two weeks later, the anti-Torah Leftist experienced a miraculous recovery, then continued his nefarious activities.
 
Knowing how much the Leftist disliked Rav Sonnenfeld, none of the Leftist's associates informed him of Rav Sonnenfeld’s life-saving intervention & mesirut nefesh.
 
By the way, this also shows the mentality of such people. Why not tell the Leftist leader? Why not tell this rabid hater that one of the Gadolei Hador saved his life? Maybe it would soften him up a bit. At least, it might stop him from attacking the tzaddikim. Maybe he’d more willingly to hear Rav Sonnenfeld’s side and compromise a bit.

​But those who knew davka decided to be careful not to tell him. So once again, we see that Leftists don’t really pursue peace; they have other agendas.
 
Anyway, a year later, this same Leftist delivered a keynote speech at a groundbreaking ceremony for a new settlement in the North. When he reached the climax of his speech, this Leftist gave a frenzied shout:

(page 137)
 
Sitting in the audience was the same youth who’d interceded on the Leftist’s behalf.

This statement spurred the youth to jump to his feet and shout his protest against such slander.

​At the invitation of the shocked Leftist, the youth took over the podium and explained to all assembled “exactly how the ‘black arm’ of R’ Chaim Sonnenfeld had interceded to save the life of one who had vowed to destroy him.”
 
That should make you eat your words, shouldn’t it?

Anyway, I was confused because this Leftist set himself on the warpath to destroy Torah Judaism in Eretz Yisrael.
 
So I didn’t get why Rav Sonnenfeld helped this terrible traitor so much.

​Yes, the book clearly quotes Rav Sonnenfeld’s view that the situation was pikuach nefesh to save a Jewish life. But the halacha isn’t so clear-cut for someone willing to die fighting tzaddikim and shredding Torah Judaism to bits.
 
And before anybody gets lovey-dovey about it, please know that these anti-religious Leftists were killers—sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly—in addition to destroying the Am in a spiritual sense.
 
In fact, these same anti-Torah Leftists later programmed terrible suffering among the religious community of Yerushalayim, causing hundreds of Jews to starve to death.
 
So my son very kindly agreed to ask the great-grandson on my behalf. Why on earth did Rav Sonnenfeld do such a thing?
 
The great-grandson knew exactly to which story my son referred and pondered the question for a moment.
 
Then he said, “I don’t know exactly why he [Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld] did it. It could be that at the time, it wasn’t known that the other guy [the anti-Torah sickie] was so bad.”
 
That could be.

While at the time, the man was a known anti-Torah Leftist leader, it could be that it was only later that the man openly stated his rabid extremism, such as being willing die fighting one of the biggest tzaddikim of that generation.
 
But please note what the great-grandson did NOT say:

• He did not say, “Nebbuch, the anti-religious hack was tinok sheh nishba, of course!”

 

• He did not say, “Ahavas Yisrael, you know.”

 

• He did not say, “Why, alter Zeidy loved EVERYBODY — of course he made every effort to save this hate-filled destroyer of Yiddishkeit!”

​ 
Nope. He didn’t say any of the expected feel-good stuff.
 
Instead, he said he wasn’t sure why his holy great-grandfather went to so much trouble to help this terrible person, then surmised that it wasn’t yet known exactly how bad the terrible person actually was.
 
This sort of fits in with Judaism’s precept of Hashem judging a person ba’asher hu sham—in the place where he is (i.e., in his present state), which is one reason given for Hashem’s Compassion upon Yishmael dying of thirst in the desert (Beresheit 21:17 with Rashi).

​Yishmael would eventually produce a nation of terrorists (along with some very nice people too). But at that moment, he was a 16-year-old boy abandoned by a mother who couldn’t overcome her own pain to comfort him in his suffering.

​(For more on that incident, please also see Salvation is Hashem and scroll down one-third.)

I’d like to make one final point.

(And I'm not going to answer the question posed in the above sub-heading, but leave it to you instead.)
 
It seems to me that Rav Sonnenfeld’s tzidkut was widely known at that time.

Rav Sonnenfeld not only performed tremendous chessed in official capacity, but also as a neighbor and regular passer-by. 

​Rav Sonnenfeld was well-known for his generous tzedakah activities. He was also incredibly humble and a tremendous baal chessed—all in addition to his scholarly brilliance.
 
How is it that the secular Leftists possessed such intense hatred toward Rav Sonnenfeld?
 
Why were they so blind to the rav’s sterling qualities?
 
Furthermore, based on the above story and many others like it, then rav was clearly approachable. People just came to his house or joined him on his walks to davening.

Why didn't his opponents approach him themselves? They could have.
 
So what was going on here?
 
Why did they describe Rav Sonnenfeld as having a “black arm”? Why were they willing to “wage war” against him and even fight him “to the death”?
 
What was so terrifyingly awful about this wise, loving, compassionate, and generous tzaddik?
 
It seems to me the only reason was that these anti-Torah Leftists were rabidly insane.
 
What else explains their all-consuming hatred? Why else were they willing to starve impoverished charedi children in Yerushalayim and elsewhere?
 
Yet people followed them! People listened to what they had to say!
 
How could they?
 
Yet if you look around, it seems we have the same problem today.

UPDATE at end of post...

(pg. 39)
 
Awe-inspiring.

​And indeed, those very aspects are exactly what made her (and us, if we adhere to them too) superior to any kind of Amalekite barbarians, no matter how polished & cultured they otherwise seem.

It also should comfort parents of vibrant children that, much to the distress of Lea’s parents, Lea would pitch back the stones that the non-Jewish Hungarian children pitched at her when she was a child walking home from school.
 
This strong-willed girl grew into a wonderfully strong Jewish woman.
 
Her ability to remain so mindful throughout her torturous enslavement attests to her extraordinary soul.
 
At one point, she stated a tremendous zechut for Am Yisrael, telling Hashem that no other people would remain as loyal as the Jews throughout such suffering.

When Lea joined 40 other girls for Chanukah candle-lighting in the death camp, Lea told them that this light—a potato that held some oil and threads ripped out of their own clothing—represented the spirit of freedom and Netzach Yisrael—the Eternity of Israel.
 
And she was absolutely right.
 
Lea also describes the different types of mental & character deterioration she witnessed, and also the heroic acts of compassion and support she both witnessed and personally experienced.

​The second half of the book deals with her rehabilitation and what came after liberation, all described with her characteristic candor.
 
At one point, Lea was faced with the opportunity to travel on Shabbos (not for pikuach nefesh) and at that tipping point, she chose to refrain from unnecessarily transgressing Shabbat.
 
“Had I done so,” she recalled of the opportunity to be mechalel Shabbos, “I should have missed meeting my future husband and would probably never have known what true happiness is.”
​
Captain Mark Chayen was a frum British medical officer who met Lea in the Displaced Persons camp and immediately started courting her in a gentle and respectable manner.
 
When at a couple of points, Lea despaired of ever being “normal” again and begged Mark to not make the “mistake” of marrying her ("I can't get used to living again"), Mark cared for her enough to promise that if she still felt she could not lead a normal life after a year, then he would let her go.
 
They remained blissfully married for 56 years until Mark’s death. 3 children blossomed from this union, along with many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
 
The Chayens married in England, and then moved to Eretz Yisrael, where Lea braved the role of an Israeli housewife (a massive challenge in 1951!) and her husband found work as an anesthesiologist at Hadassah hospital.
 
There’s a lot to learn from Lea Fuchs Chayen, but one thing that stands out is her compassion and her profound ability to judge a fellow Jew favorably in an honest way.

(pg. 230)​

And she refers to them in such a refined way (unlike me).

Shame. Pain. Pain is different than pity—and far superior.

She smarts with shame on their behalf.

​She doesn't hate them. She doesn't excuse them. She's pained--on their behalf.

Not long after Liberation, Lea heard a rumor that her father was still alive. (He wasn’t.)

​In the chaos of post-war Germany, Lea made her way to the hospital where her father was rumored to be.

​Coming face to face with the fact that not only wasn’t her father there and never had been, it finally brought to surface the loss of all her other family members.

Until then, she hadn't had the opportunity to mourn over them.
 
For the first time, Lea was able to grieve over her profound loss.
 
She wandered around crying & crying in the pouring rain, forced to suffer the sight & sound of the German language she now hated and being trapped among the nation that caused such loss and trauma.
 
Suddenly, Lea chanced upon a branch of the Jewish Brigade sporting an Israeli flag.

It was “one of the most moving and beautiful things I have ever seen in my life.”

​Seeing it as the first step in getting to Eretz Yisrael, Lea stepped inside, embarrassed and apologetic about her soaking coat making a puddle on the floor.
 
The Hebrew- and German-speaking “lovely dark-haired girl in uniform” behind the desk simply told Lea that the puddle didn’t matter and that Lea could come back in an hour when a German non-Jewish sergeant would be there.
 
Lea was shattered.
 
How could this girl sit in a heated room with a glass of steaming tea before her & look right at a cold, hungry, drenched death camp survivor, a fellow Jew, and not even offer this suffering lone survivor a cup of tea or a seat or a chance to dry off? How could this girl just send Lea back outside?
 
How could this uniformed Jewish brigade girl be so incredibly unfeeling?
 
The truth is, modern Israel was taken over by secular Leftists—who do not represent the average Jew in Eretz Yisrael and never did. While I can't know this uniformed girl's political affiliation, her behavior unfortunately recalls other incidents of callous behavior on the part of young secular Socialists sent to “help” their fellow Jews.
 
To add salt to Lea’s gaping wounds, when Lea indeed returned in another hour, the German non-Jewish sergeant looked at Lea with “compassion in his eyes” and offered her to take off her coat (“Look, you are so wet”), warm herself near the fire, and allow him to bring her a glass of tea.
 
“Please,” she begged Hashem, “leave me my self-respect and just let me reach Palestine.”

​Then she added, “The most difficult thing to bear was the behavior of the Jewish Brigade girl compared with that of the German sergeant…”
 
 Yet what did Lea say about this Jewish brigade girl?
 
“I was certain that she was a very nice and decent girl, who simply did not think. Today she is probably a highly respected grandmother somewhere in Israel and would be horrified to know what she did.”
 
That’s not pity.
 
That’s real compassion. That’s feeling pain over a fellow Jew’s misbehavior and genuinely finding a zechut and a way to judge favorably.
 
Honestly, no one can expect a profoundly grieving death camp survivor dragging around in the pouring rain to say, “Hmm...that girl was so insensitive. Well, gosh, I just feel sooo soooooooooorry for her!”

Nor is there any way to justify the behavior as okay, cute, or funny.

As said above, yes, sometimes feeling soooo soooooorry for someone is the most appropriate response.
 
But Lea’s response resonated with me. HER response is the goal, I think.
 
We should feel pain on behalf of our errant brothers and sisters. (And hopefully, they will also feel pained, and not pitying or hating when we are the ones who flub up.)
 
Pain enables us to feel and respond with compassion. Pain enables us to educate others.

Sometimes, just seeing a pained face is rebuke enough.

There are many stories of someone expressing pain (rather than condescension or anger) toward an errant adult or child, which inspired the errant person to shape up. 

In fact, I remember that as a teenager, I behaved immaturely with a group of girls. We all should have known better and I don't know why we behaved that way.

​Anyway, a very nice gentle middle-aged geriatric nurse I'd seen around walked by at that very moment, and when she saw our behavior, an expression of pain swept over her face. 

She watched us, clearly deliberating whether to say something and what to say. Somehow, I could see on her face that she knew we weren't being bad, but silly and unthinking.

The pain and deliberation on her face was like cold water on a drunkard. And I felt appropriately (i.e., not toxically) ashamed.

We sobered up right away, I think all of us realizing how we were really behaving.

She never said anything and I never did anything like that again.

So feeling pained over another's errant behavior can be so much more effective (and honest) than seething hatred or snooty pity.
 
Pity brings about condescension and despair. There’s not much hope for someone who is to be pitied.
 
And this is the big lesson to learn in ahavat Yisrael from Lea Fuchs Chayen, a survivor with a tremendous neshamah. 

UPDATE: I just came across Lea Fuch Chayen's philosophy in her own words on pages 241-242:

The Sassover Rebbetzin’s 2015 memoir, Forever in Faith: The Sassover Rebbetzin Reflects, was one of the harder Shoah memoirs for me to get through.
 
They’re always difficult to read, but this one was even more so.
 
The Sassover Rebbetzin Bluma Teitelbaum a"h was just 17 when the Nazis invaded. And she ended up losing her entire God-fearing illustrious family in the Shoah.

Enduring harrowing experience after harrowing experience, the horrors didn’t cease with the end of the war.
 
While many survivors recall difficult conditions after the war, whether rehabilitating themselves in Displaced Person camps or trying to track down surviving relatives and making a quick (and often risky) trip back to their original home, Forever in Faith records a particularly frightening period upon liberation in which Bluma was still on the run for her life — and still starving.
 
Young Bluma and the smattering of other girls who survived the Death March found themselves in a German village still smoldering with Jew-hatred.

The “liberators” were Russian Mongols whose behavior was so bestial that a German village woman who’d initially expressed vicious Jew-hatred toward Bluma ended up taking Bluma and another girl into her home — for her own protection more than theirs, but it still gives you a picture of how bad the Russian soldiers were.

​(Rebbetzin Teitelbaum, being a very refined person, did not go into much detail.)

When Bluma finally made it back to her people (albeit still in Europe), she noted that many Jews left the fold due to the horrors they’d endured.

​Yet she also noted several remarkable girls from assimilated families who, upon fathoming the miracles that had saved them, decided to explore what Judaism was all about and strengthened their mitzvot observance. (They received support from other young female frum survivors, intent on rebuilding Am Yisrael.)
 
At this point, Bluma made a shocking resolve that shows the depth of her personal greatness: Upon realizing she was the only survivor of her family, she decided that she owed Hashem something in return for His Great Grace in enabling her to survive impossible conditions.
 
This boggles the mind because she could have so easily (and understandably) decided to resent Hashem for killing off her entire family, which consisted of such wonderful & dedicated Jews.
 
But no. The now twentysomething Bluma decided to face her devastating situation with gratitude (!).
​
After pondering how she could best serve Hashem, she decided she would marry a genuine talmid chacham and dedicate her life to Torah.

So, while most other survivors were getting married and starting new lives, Bluma held out for her dream.

After several years, she met a tzaddik who’d also survived the Shoah — and who was 20 years her senior — and they married.
 
Happily, she dedicated herself to her tzaddik husband and his Torah. But not long after they married, he took ill and then passed away, leaving no children.
 
Still committed to her initial decision, Bluma held out again for marriage to another genuine talmid chacham. She ended up married to the Sassover Rebbe Lipa Teitelbaum, and they had several children in quick succession.
 
Tragically, the Rebbe also died early, leaving the Sassover Rebbetzin to raise their children and manage his institutions on her own.

​Due to her own spiritual greatness, Rebbetzin Bluma Teitelbaum was accorded honors by Gadolei Hador generally reserved for other Gedolei Hador and genuine talmidei chachamim.

The Gerrer Rebbe of that time (the Beis Yisroel) used to give her priority whenever he heard she was in his waiting room.

​The Chazon Ish, who met with people as little as possible and kept visits short with those he did meet, used to accord her honor by going out to receive Rebbetzin Bluma whenever she needed him and spent as much time with her as she needed.
 
Time and again, the greatest Gadolim of Am Yisrael accorded Rebbetzin Bluma honor and deference they reserved only for other Gadolei Hador.
 
Why?

​When asked, these Gadolei Hador expressed reverence for Rebbetzin Bluma’s solid emuna and the fact that she wholeheartedly dedicated herself to tzarchei hatzibbur—the needs of the community.
 
And I think this gets lost in today’s world of self-promotion, impressive degrees, and nifty titles.
 
Rebbetzin Bluma was not accorded honor due to her illustrious husband (although that would’ve been appropriate too) nor because of her great intelligence and scholarship (although she also possessed a brilliant mind that enabled her to assist her sons with learning Gemara).
 
It had to do with Rebbetzin Bluma’s middot and other mind-boggling inner qualities, like her emuna and dedication to Torah & the Jewish community — especially in the face of the extreme horror she suffered, in addition to the heartbreak of being widowed twice and other challenges.

​Likewise, Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky a"h merited the power to give brachas on the basis of her commitment to dedicate herself to tzarchei hatzibbur.
 
In fact, when her husband Rav Chaim Kanievsky went to Rav Elyashiv for a bracha in success with a particular issue, Rav Elyashiv asked Rav Kanievsky why he didn’t go to Rav Elyashiv’s daughter (Rav Kanievsky’s wife) Batsheva for a bracha? She has the power, Rav Elyashiv affirmed.
 
Though Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky was Rav Elyashiv’s daughter, Rav Elyashiv wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true. He was a very loving father, but not a blindly sentimental one.

If he said it, it was true.
 
This is despite the fact that Rebbetzin Batsheva was highly intelligent. Her former classmates and teachers repeatedly attested to Rebbetzin Batsheva’s brilliant mind. And of course, she was a learned woman.
 
Yet Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky’s power to give brachas and to positively influence people didn’t come from her scholarship.

It came from her internal qualities, her personal holiness and dedication to the Jewish people.

Unfortunately for both men & women today, titles and degrees and IQ levels predominate.
 
And unfortunately, some quasi-Orthodox women wish to take on the negative aspects of men (“I need an impressive title! I need an impressive certificate! I need kavod!”), which has been typical of the feminist movement.
 
Meaning not that all men pursue kavod, but men and women each have certain positive tendencies and negative tendencies.

​For millennia, Chazal has propounded against the male tendencies to covet kavod & titles & position. (You can see this in every mussar sefer and the Gemara, where the Sages are clearly addressing a male audience, although women are certainly invited to and can benefit from these mussar sefarim too.)

​Yet rather than trying to refine men, society has encouraged women to take men’s negative tendencies upon themselves. (So now women can be weighed down with double the negatives—ooh, I feel so liberated!)
 
And the most high-falutin’ “rabbah” will never merit the honor and deference the Sassover Rebbetzin Bluma Teitelbaum merited from the greatest Gadolei Hador.
 
(And neither will the high-falutin’ male rabbis who lack the personal inner qualities needed to merit the kavod of tzaddikim.)
 
Real spiritual giants do not covet titles or honors or impressive degrees.
 
That’s the point: They don’t seek honor at all; not from great people and not from small people.
 
They just do what they need to do and keep their eye on the ball: Hashem’s Ratzon.
 
The honor, the accolades, and the powers they receive are the natural result of their inner development.
 
Those things aren’t the goal and never should be.

​In general, our biggest tzaddikim don’t shove us toward grand gestures and massive gulps.
 
They tend to advise smaller steps to advance in ruchaniut and middot.
 
Yes, sometimes, grand gestures are needed—like the fashion-addicted woman who saved her own life by plucking out all her immodest clothing and making a happy bonfire in her yard.

She’d been diagnosed with something like a fatal brain tumor.

​Yet after meeting with Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky a”h, the young woman made this grand gesture of commitment to tsniut and the tumor (or whatever it was; can’t remember exactly) disappeared.
 
And sometimes, a massive gesture IS called for, like a prayer gathering or saying the entire Sefer Tehillim/Book of Psalms in one go (which takes some of us 5-6 hours).
 
But day-to-day?

What did Rebbetzin Kanievsky a"h recommend in order to generate more blessing in life?

• Learn 2 halachot of lashon hara a day.
• Take in Shabbat 10 minutes earlier. (Easier said than done, for some of us—Friday morning, ask Hashem for help achieving this! But she promised miracles for those who manage to achieve this.)
• Add 1 passage from the siddur to your morning davening. (For example, if you don’t say Aleinu L’shabeyach at the end of Shacharit, then start saying it.)
• Bake your own challot and add your prayers to the powerful mitzvah of hafrashat challah. (Full disclosure: Personally, I do not always manage to make challahs every week, but she said it, so I’m putting it here.)
• Say "Ein od milvado!" ("There is absolutely nothing else except Him!") with as much conviction and kavanah as you possibly can.

 
Again, please note the small numbers:

• ONE extra thing from the siddur
• TWO halachot
• ten MINUTES 
• hafrashat challah ONCE a week
• ONE phrase consisting of THREE words that takes mere SECONDS to say

​Again: Yes, there is a place for grand gestures.

​Malky Feig’s Mountain Climbers 2 tells of a family that saved the life of a young boy in their family by being ready for Shabbat by the halachic noon of Erev Shabbat.

He was diagnosed with a fatal illness, yet this family, who usually came crashing into Shabbat by the skin of their teeth, got their act together for an early Shabbat and the boy remained alive and healthy.

(Their source was the Chafetz Chaim’s advice to another couple generations earlier, based on the fact that Shabbat is mekor habracha—the source of blessing; so adding more Shabbat into one’s life increases one’s blessing.)
 
But Malky Feig also brings examples of people who reaped blessing from very small gestures—acts that regular people might scoff at if you told them.

​For example, a young frum woman overcame a bleak diagnosis by resolving to stop using a soft-bristled hairbrush on Shabbat (because it unintentionally pulls out hairs, which is forbidden on Shabbat, even though she’d bought the soft bristles to avoid such a thing—but it pulled out some hair anyway).

Rav Avigdor Miller is famous for his 10 Steps to Greatness (Tape #706):

1. Spend 30 seconds thinking of Olam Haba and how we are in This World ONLY as a preparation for the World to Come.
2. Say at least once (in private) "I love You, Hashem."
3. Do one hidden act of chesed that no one (other than Hashem) knows about.
4. Be like Hashem, Who lifts the humble; say something to encourage someone.
5. Spend 1 minute thinking about what happened yesterday (cheshbon hanefesh).
6. Your actions should be l'Shem Shamayim/for the sake of Heaven (say that once during meals).
7. Look into someone's face and think: "I'm seeing a tzelem Elokim ('Image' of Hashem)."
8. Just like Hashem's Face shines on us, give someone a big smile.
9. When saying "malbish arumim" in the morning blessings, think about the great gift of garments, i.e. pockets, buttons, shoelaces, etc.
10. In private, sit on the floor for 1 second each day & think about the loss of Yerushalayim.

 
After recommending carrying out these steps out for 30 days, Rabbi Miller advised, "If you feel exhausted, take a break and come back slowly. To become great, you have to be extreme."

For a more detailed version of Rav Miller's ten steps, please see: 10 steps to Greatness by Rav Avigdor Miller z''l (tape #706)

Likewise, when asked how to prevent another Shoah and protect the Jewish people in general, the late Kaliver Rebbe Menachem Mendel Taub  ztz”l, who survived the horrific human experimentation of evil Mengele yemach shemo in Auschwitz, recommended focusing on the following:

• Solid emunah in Hashem (“knowing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is running the world”)
• Loving our fellow Jews
• Serving Hashem with joy
• Keeping Shabbat scrupulously (“by studying the laws of Shabbos”)
• Saying "Shema Yisrael"
• Say Aleinu L’shabeyach

Granted several of the above are hard to achieve.

Regardless, even the tiniest progress in these particular areas is very, very powerful.

And out of 613 mitzvot (and any feel-good derech-hateva efforts, like politicking), the Rebbe pared it down for us to focus on the above 6 ideals.

​In other words, he didn’t insist on us being perfect in every way and taking on massive chumras or grand gestures.

Instead, a stream-lined focus on solidifying our emuna, loving our fellow Jews, Shabbat observance, saying Shema Yisrael and Aleinu L’Shabayach, and doing it all with joy were his recommendations.
​

​For more, please see this article: Kaliver Rebbe: “Each day is its own Yom HaShoah.”
​
(His emphasis on saying Aleinu L’Shabayach was in another article, but he did emphasize its importance, so it’s included here in the above list.)

The hidden tzaddik, Rabbi Yehuda Zev Leibowitz ztz”l, recommended the following 4 major guidelines to focus on as we approach Redemption:

1. Help Others
2. Be Merciful
3. Give In & Let It Go
4. And the main point: Not to Yell

(For a more detailed elucidation of these guidelines, please see Remembering Rabbi Yehuda Zev)

The last Lubavitcher Rebbe is famous for his mivtzo'im (mitzvah campaigns).

​While he of course personally upheld and encouraged solid adherence to halacha down to the last detail, he had Jews shine extra focus on mitzvot like:
​

• Hadlikat Nerot shel Shabbat (lighting candles on time in honor of Shabbat)
• Tefillin
• Mezuzah
• Torah Study
• Tzedakah (donating your money to worthy Jewish causes)
• Furnishing Your Home with Sifrei Kodesh (and even then, he focused on the minimum of a Chumash/5 books of Moses, Tehillim/Psalms, and a siddur/a solidly Orthodox prayer book)
• Keeping Kosher
• V’ahavta L’re’echa Kamocha—Loving to Your Fellow Jew like Yourself
• Children’s education
• Taharat Hamishpacha (the Laws of Family Purity)

 
And it imbues a really strong focus you can still see today.

For example, I personally know guys who are either secular or somewhat off the derech, but are makpid to at least put on tefillin—even during the most pressured morning—simply because of this emphasis of Chabad.

Yes, they should be upholding all the mitzvot, but this one adherence means they still bring Hashem into their lives on a daily basis and it can be the springboard for them to return to full mitzvah observance.
 
These 10 biggies weren’t the Rebbe's only mivtzo’im.

As is commonly seen, he made a big deal about having lots of children, Chanukah lighting, and a Lag B’Omer Parade.
 
On an individual level, Lubavitcher Chassidim need to learn a portion each day of:

• Chumash
• Tehillim
• Tanya

 
This is excellent because it means that a Jew connects with the parsha on a daily basis, makes a personal davening that sweetens din, and gets a daily dose of mussar and other deep stuff.
 
But even what’s mentioned here weren’t the only mivtzoim. For more, please see Chabad Mitzvah Campaigns.

It sounds like a lot, and it is a lot, but they weren't introduced all at the same time, and there are 613 mitzvot to perfect. So these were a way to focus (which leads to upholding the rest).

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov opposed unnecessary chumras and focused on speaking with Hashem in your own language an hour a day, plus maintaining a state of joy and resisting a state of fear.

Of course he himself was dedicated to every mitzvah and encouraged full mitzvah observance for every Jew, but again, the big Sages understood that people need focus.

You can’t swallow everything in one gulp.

One of the Brelovers from generations past, Rav Yankel Zhitomer (spelled "Zatamer" in the English translation of Words of Faith), spring-boarded the complete teshuvah of a hitman-for-hire (!) by suggesting that he start putting on tefillin.

Rav Yankel Zhitomer didn't even request that the lapsed Jew stop killing people or stop stealing! Like, "Hey, Moshe, why don't you start with the 10 Commandments?"

Baby steps: First, tefillin.

And this led to a complete turnaround in which this former hitman ended up regularly risking his life for Torah and mitzvot, and to help other Jews, including bringing life into the world and preserving life (he gave lots of tzedakah).

The Breslovers stated that his repentance was like coming back from the dead.

(Just to give you an idea of how low he'd fallen, the band Moshe joined was so fearsome that when the evil Communists took over, people were relieved that this band had less power — life actually improved! That's how bad this particular gang was — and Moshe was a part of them.)

And his complete teshuvah all started with tefillin.

(Actually, it really started with him coming to shul ONLY for kaddish for his father; he didn't even stay for the whole davening. Then Rav Yankel Zhitomer approached him as he tried to make his dash out.)

For more on this story, please see:
The True Story of How a Murderer did Teshuvah
 
For a woman very discouraged by years of infertility, Rav Shalom Arush recommended that she write down a gratitude list of 20 things—included the nisayon of infertility—with the intention that this would enable her to have children.
 
I was shocked that he didn’t recommend at least 5 minutes of hitbodedut.

​But I guess he knew whom he was dealing with. 

For some people trapped in a certain mindset, even the minute it takes to list 20 things can seem overwhelming.

​In order to give GOOD advice, it’s necessary to understand what level a person is at and what step they need to take to bump themselves up a bit.
 
People get discouraged by too heavy a burden.
 
"Mentors" who insist that you jump very high through very convoluted hoops while juggling bowling balls—and to do this consistently—are probably not Gadolim.
 
They might be very well-intended and they might perform a lot of great acts themselves.

​But the question is whether you should listen to them.
 
If their advice and proclamations contradict the above recommendations of real Gadolim (or if their advice goes far out beyond what the above focused on), then you should find out what the real Gadolim advise and emphasize.
 
Why?
 
Because Judaism is a sack of diamonds, not a sack of stones.
 
And a sack of diamonds is much easier to carry with a happy heart than a sack of stones.
 
Focus and take baby steps.
 
That’s the way to save both yourself and the world.

May we all succeed in completing our tikkun in this gilgul in a sweet way without nisayon or bizayon.

For a related post, please see:
Judaism's Secret: Achieve the Glorious Maximum by Doing the Bare Minimum

For those interested in the truth behind the complex saga of Rav Berland, the entire book is available for free download today, Tuesday through Thursday, on Amazon here:
www.amazon.com/One-Generation-Rabbi-Eliezer-Berland-ebook/dp/B07QVY6PBY/