Category: Books

A Welcome Insight into Yotzer Ohr - He Who Creates Light

16/7/2018

Recently, a very interesting article came online called Wellsprings of the Deep - Yotzer Ohr - Who Creates Light at the Daf Yomi Review (which actually contains many more fascinating writings outside of the Daf Yomi).

It's all written by Yosef Sebag who learns full-time in kollel in Yerushalayim and also holds degrees in physics and electrical engineering.

I learned a lot of fascinating aspects of light that I never knew. Yosef Sebag also includes helpful graphs and images to make things clearer for the non-science reader.

This article can really boost your kavanah and awareness when making the Yotzer Ohr bracha preceding Kriyat Shema in Shacharit.

It also adds proof to the fact that only God could have created our Earth and all the life therein (rather than an unrealistically chancey big bang in a multiverse). Just as one example, Yosef Sebag emphasizes that only band of light useful for life is the one emitted by our Sun.

What are the chances of that, big bangers?

Anyway, the whole article is full of such tasty tidbits that make you want to cheer, "Mah rabu ma'asecha, Hashem - How great are your deeds, God!"

To go to the article, please click here:
Wellsprings of the Deep - Yotzer Ohr - Who Creates Light

For more about Yosef Sebag, please click here:
Yosef Sebag

Personally, I'm indebted to his translations of both Chovot Halevavot (Duties of the Heart) and its accompanying commentaries for greater insight into this fundamental mussar classic.

Click here to access the translation and commentaries:
Chovot Halevavot and commentaries - English translation

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A Tzaddik's Example: Listen, Empathize, Encourage

15/7/2018

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Looking to our tzaddikim, we can see how we are really supposed to behave.

We can also find hints for guides and advisers when we compare the behavior of a real tzaddik to that of a regular rabbi or rebbetzin. Not that anyone is perfect, but certain aspects tell us if things are on the right track.

For example, on page 136 of Words of Faith Vol II, we meet Rav Yisrael Karduner, one of the Breslov tzaddikim of the previous generations, who died in Tiveria in 1920.

Rav Karduner was known for his tremendous fire when he prayed or even just made a blessing, and also for his bleak poverty. His home literally lacked even bread and he went out into the fields to talk to Hashem while wearing torn ill-fitting shoes. Yet even then, he simply cried out to Hashem to either give him shoes or give him the mindfulness (daat) to really accept that he doesn’t need shoes.

In fact, his most oft-quoted words are: "There was someone [Rebbe Nachman] who called out 100 years ago, 'Never give up!' And we still hear that voice today."

At that time, Rav Karduner suffered greatly from attacks by those opposed to the Breslov path. Rav Karduner’s disciple, R. Yisrael Ber Odesser, possessed a particularly tender & sensitive soul, and suffered horribly from the opposition.

Once, R. Yisrael Ber Odesser poured out his heart to Rav Karduner. Rav Karduner listened as R. Yisrael Ber Odesser expressed his profound suffering and distress.

After he finished, Rav Karduner empathized, “Indeed, I also suffer and am discouraged like you from the venom of the difficult attacks.”

Then Rav Karduner encouraged him, “But I am able to stand because I used the ‘healing signs’ of the Rebbe. In their power, I am able to hold on…”

Note: Because I've never heard of Rebbe Nachman's "healing signs," I'm thinking the above is maybe an alternative translation of "alim l'trufah -- healing leaves." If someone knows for sure, please feel free to let me know...

Please notice that Rav Karduner did not tell his chassid, “Oh, you think you have it bad? You should see what they do to me.” Or, “Well, just let it roll off your back. After all, I don’t let it get to me.” Or, "Just feel sorry for them. I mean, don't you feel bad for them?"

Nope. No one-up, no competition, no put-downs, no minimizing the very real pain of rejection and verbal abuse.

Nor did Rav Karduner chirp, “Just have emuna! Just daven! Gam zeh l’tovah—it’s all for the best!”

(Even though such phrases are true: A downcast person needs emuna, needs to daven, and everything really is for the best. But Rav Karduner knew that Rav Yisrael Ber already knew all that. Yet like most of us, he's familiar with the concepts, yet the intense abuse got him down anyway. That's totally normal.)

Instead, Rav Karduner listened. Then he empathized. In fact, though he was Rav Yisrael Ber’s mentor, Rav Karduner wasn't above admitting: “I am discouraged like you.”

Like you. And Rav Karduner called the attacks what they were: venom. Difficult.

Then Rav Karduner gave the necessary chizuk and humbly explained that the only way he himself withstood the attacks was not on his own merit, but on the strength of Rebbe Nachman’s teachings.

Rav Karduner’s behavior is a helpful directive for us all:

Listen
Empathize
Encourage; give chizuk.

May Hashem grant us all the wisdom, binah, and daat to say the right thing in every situation.

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From Wise-Cracking Businessman to Soul-Stirring Holy Man

10/7/2018

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In Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender's Words of Faith, we meet Reb Sander of Terevitz, who started out life as a pampered child accustomed to an affluent lifestyle.

As a successful merchant in adulthood, he kept up his affluent lifestyle while his natural gregariousness led to a jovial wheeling 'n' dealing attitude. Known as the wittiest leitzan among all the other leitzanim, Reb Sander once confronted a base character who came into Reb Sander's fabric factory looking to buy salt.

(Salt...in a fabric factory.)

"If you want salt," quipped Reb Sander, "then stand on the table and dance, and the salt will come out..."

[Note: I don't understand why Rav Bender brought this as an example of Reb Sander's previous low level because it doesn't seem that bad to me. Likely, there are nuances in the original Yiddish that go over my head, but this is the example used in the book, this is the example used in this post.]

Anyway, the others described Reb Sander as a flippant comedian (a leitzan, a vertlich zuger) focused on making profitable deals.

Though shomer Shabbos himself, Friday afternoons proved to be the best time for business as Reb Sander engaged in wheeling and dealing at this time, rather than preparing for the holy day -- and encouraged the other merchants to do the same.

But then what happened?

Rav Nachman Chazan* of Tultchin showed up in Reb Sander's town. (Okay, he didn't just show up; he was sent there by Rav Naftali, one of the original intimate chassidim of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.)

Anyway, Rav Nachman Chazan started speaking compelling words of Torah that captivated the hearts of the people, including Reb Sander. Though initially scheduled to stay for one week, the people there kept insisting that Rav Nachman Chazan extend his visit until he ended up speaking there for 3 weeks straight.

The people finally asked Rav Nachman Chazan, "From where do you draw all of these treasures?"

And he answered, "All of this wealth is from my great teacher Rebbe Nosson, whose holy writings are resting on the shelf, collecting dust because we don't have the funds to take them out of burial, to print and spread them among Yisrael."

At that point, Reb Sander whipped out 100 rubles and said to Rav Nachman Chazan, "Take a down payment of 100 rubles. When you begin to print, another 100 rubles will follow. When you finish, another 100 rubles will be added."

Then finally, the people allowed Rav Nachman Chazan to return home.

And this was the beginning of an awe-inspiring change in Reb Sander.

Na'afochu -- A Spiritual Somersault

Reb Sander stopped playing the comedian and upended his previous priorities: Avodat Hashem became his main occupation while his fabric business turned into a side-job.

He was able to maintain his new priorities even when his business associates spoke of him behind his back: "What happened to Reb Sander? Where did he go? He was our buddy, just like one of us. What happened to him...?"

When they saw Reb Sander Erev Shabbat afternoon, already dressed for Shabbat and fervently reciting Shir Hashirim in the beis hamidrash, they exclaimed to each other, "Behold, this is the best time for business! He used to be the invigorating spirit by us at this time. What happened to him...?!"

With Hashem still enabling Reb Sander to make money hand over fist, Reb Sander upended his wealth distribution in accordance with his new priorities. Impoverished Jews now received clothes and food and didn't need to worry any longer about lacking their basic necessities. He funded the building of Rebbe Nosson's new Kloiz in 5626/1866.

Despite all his physical exertions (toiveling in freezing mikveh waters & 12 hours of passionate prayer at Rebbe Nachman's graveside) and his formerly sensitive constitution, this same man now made do with just a bit of bread and a cheap Russian beverage called kavus: water flavored with beet juice.

Reb Sander started coming to Uman twice a month to pour out his soul at the kever of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, even spending 12 hours in outpouring at Rebbe Nachman's kever.

The same mouth that used to shoot out barbs and witticisms turned into the source of some of today's classic Breslov melodies, including Breslov's Yedid Nefesh and the prayer for dew.

Renewed spiritual longing so filled Reb Sander that when Rav Avraham Chazan (the son of Rav Nachman Chazan) once walked along Pushkina Street, Rav Avraham heard strange and terrible screams. Thinking that perhaps someone had fallen into the hands of a murderer, Rav Avraham tentatively hurried toward the kever to see if he could help.

But it was only Reb Sander, begging Hashem with all his might for the merit to come even closer to Him.

From Rich Man to Rich Soul

Yes, Reb Sander remained a successful businessman, but he conducted his business in a completely different manner after his 3-week encounter with Rav Nachman Chazan.

He applied his business acumen toward the poor Jews of that time, as attentive to their needs as he used to be of his own.

The barbs Reb Sander once aimed at others were now re-directed to spur himself into the spiritual activities he found particularly challenging: "Clump of dust -- throw yourself in and immerse!" he yelled at himself several times before he managed to dunk himself in the icy waters of the mikveh.

Reb Sander didn't just transfer himself from one world to another.

Using the same keilim he had inside him all along, Reb Sander revolutionized himself from within.

May we all merit a similar transformation l'tovah.

*Rav Nachman Chazan of Tultchin (1813-1884) was a grandson of a devoted follower of the original Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, he first met Rebbe Nosson (the most devoted follower of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov and the main transcriber of Rebbe Nachman's words into Likutei Moharan, Chayai Moharan, and more) around the age of 9 and became Rebbe Nosson's closest disciple. Renowned for his heartfelt chazzanut (hence his family name "Chazan") and his great humility (after davening, he used to go himself to draw water into the water buckets for the shul). He published and edited Rebbe Nosson's Likutei Halachot. Later, Rav Nachman Chazan moved from Tultchin to the city of Breslov, and then to Uman, which shifted the focus of Breslov Chassidus away from the city of Breslov to the city of Uman. Despite being considered a tzaddik and one of the great leaders of Breslov Chassidut, Rav Nachman Chazan's profound humility and modesty lead him to serve as the shamash of Uman's Breslover shul rather than as it's rav.

Related Post:
2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation

Pushkina Street near the kever of Rebbe Nachman today

By Nahoumsabban - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

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2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation

9/7/2018

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A very special aspect of Words of Faith (a translation of the talks given by Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender, a tzaddik from the previous generation) is the way he uses examples of Jews who weren't very refined before they did teshuvah.

If you look over the stories of Jews returning to their roots today, you see people who were stunningly successful in the secular world, then transferred all those skills and much of their success, and that same personality to their newly adapted frum lifestyle.

Sure, there were road bumps along the way as they struggled to fit everything together. And these female BTs often describe their anger issues, in addition. So they're not perfect, but while their success is something I admire and enjoy reading about, it's not something that my personality can necessarily relate to.

Now don't get me wrong; I like hearing about these people. Their stories are interesting and their journeys are inspiring. I buy their books and I think everyone should.

But speaking for myself, I didn't have my act together before keeping Shabbos, and neither was I particularly cool or special or successful, so a part of me longed to read about someone who made the leap of middot instead of the leap of switching careers (which again, IS inspiring, but just doesn't relate to my personal journey.)

For example, a young woman once told me that her husband had been voted "Most Obnoxious" by his 12th-grade high school class. "But I don't find him obnoxious at all!" she said as testimony that middot-teshuvah is actually possible.

But we don't really hear about middot-teshuvah so much.

Understandably, people can't really talk about teshuvah of the personality (rather than teshuvah of action, i.e. "Before I didn't keep Shabbat, but now I do" or "Before I was the top CEO of a successful cheeseburger chain, but now I am the head of a successful kiruv organization") because discussing how bad you were before is so much more negative and invasive.

After all, do you really want people to know about the inane couch potato or the vulgar gamer or the wild crass party girl you were prior to connecting to Torah and mitzvot? And should you reveal that part of your past? (Usually not.)

Yet along comes Rav Bender with his special way of seeing people and his unique way of talking about people and events.

Yes, even people who are initially brazen, crass, insensitive, low-class, and even cold-blooded murderers can do real deep-down teshuvah.

(You'll also see Breslov's method of not pushing people away and allowing spiritual progress to take its course -- even if it's a very slow course. While the original Breslovers didn't go out of their way to interact with or welcome particularly dysfunctional people, neither did they reject them regardless of how distasteful and disturbing their behavior may be.)
___________
Just a quick description of the rabbis mentioned in the following stories:
Rebbe Nosson (Natan) Sternhartz (1780-1844) was the prime disciple of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov and the main transcriber of Rebbe Nachman's words. A very big tzaddik in his own right, Rebbe Nosson succeeded in shaping Breslov into the irrepressible & inspiring force it is today, despite the severe poverty and opposition he suffered in his time.

Rav Avraham ben Rav Nachman Chazan (1849-1917), the son of the humble tzaddik Rav Nachman Chazan of Tultchin, was always known for his devotions, like departing to the woods immediately after Shabbat with a stack of books and a sack of bread to spend the week learning Torah and talking to Hashem. He later became one of the Breslov leaders in Uman and made aliyah to Yerushalayim in 1894. He authored Biur Halikutim, a detailed analysis of the lessons of the original Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. His transcription of his father's stories and divrei Torah form the foundation for Breslov classics like Kochavei Ohr and Sichot V'Sipurim.
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From Shabbos Transgressor to Shabbos Lover

In Rebbe Nosson's time, there was a Jew (known as "the Deitchel -- the German") who worked as city clerk all throughout the week, including Shabbos. Because the religious Ukrainian Jews of that time refused to tolerate the public desecration of Shabbos, they all blocked this the Deitchel from entered their shul.

In Rebbe Nosson's shul, the congregants also tried to throw out the Deitchel, but Rebbe Nosson refused to allow it by saying:

"Please do not disturb him. Pay attention and listen: Even though he is a dreadful Jewish sinner, why did he nonetheless come to us? He did not come for nothing...it appears that something draws him specifically to our shul...please, leave him alone..."
[Vol. II, pg. 306]

The Deitchel was even brazen and callous enough to come to daven Mussaf on Shabbos with his hands still covered in ink from work. At one point, it's the custom for everyone to raise their hands during a particular prayer, and he raised his inky hands with everyone else's clean hands.

Though appalled at raising the symbol of Shabbos-transgression during Shabbos Mussaf itself, the congregants obeyed Rebbe Nosson and did not push the Deitchel away.

Eventually, the Deitchel did astounding teshuvah. He became a devoted Bresolver chassid to the point that Rebbe Nosson commented that they will boast of him before the Kisei Hakavod -- the Throne of Glory.

What would have been with the Deitchel had Rebbe Nosson allowed him to be thrown out?

From Rough to Refined

In Rav Bender's time, there lived a seller who sold meat by the weight. A vulgar and idle fellow, he came to the Breslov shul and usually hung out in the corner.

But during the winter, he set his fixed place right next to the only heater.

Next to this heater, the meat seller indulged in such offensive, vulgar chatter that it prevented decent people like Rav Bender from being anywhere near the heater.

And seeing as the impoverished people of that time didn't always have enough coal to heat their homes (Rav Bender recalls needing to buy hot water for grushim due to such poverty) and seeing as tzaddikim like Rav Bender were immersing themselves in icy mikvehs and talking to Hashem outside in the snow, the shul heater was vital for their physical well-being.

Yet did the callous fellow notice or care? Nope!

Some of the congregants wanted this boor forcibly removed from the shul.

But Rav Avraham (ben Rav Nachman) Chazan pleaded with his well-meaning fellows:

"He came to us -- do not disturb him... In spite of everything, he feels obliged to come to us. Don't do anything to harm him..."

[Vol II, pg 308]

Begrudgingly, the good Jews suffered the callous presence of this meat-seller.

Yet eventually, this meat seller immigrated to America and his children there wrote the following letter to the Breslov community back in Uman:

What has happened to our father in America?
He has turned into a chassid in the full meaning of the word ... He used to challenge the chassidim at his shul:
"This is how you pray? I knew people who REALLY prayed!"
"This is how you behave? I saw how the avdei Hashem in Uman behaved..."

[Vol II, pg 308]

Interestingly, the boorish Jew remained unaffected while among tzaddikim of the stature of Rav Avraham Chazan and Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender.

But when he found himself in a place with chassidim whom he felt weren't up to the standards of the chassidim he knew in the Breslov shul in Uman, he couldn't tolerate it.

And that spurred him to create within himself that which he could no longer find outside himself.

This formerly crass Jew transformed himself so thoroughly that he earned a good reputation among the God-fearing Jews in America.

Holding Back with Your Left & Drawing in with Your Right

Probably you noticed in the above examples that the Breslov greats did not interact much with the problematic people as long as the problematic people remained, well, problematic.

But neither did the Breslovers push them away.

You're not supposed to associate with people who consistently engage in forbidden behavior -- but if something in their neshamah is pulling them toward aspects of kedushah, then who are you to push them away?

These rabbis displayed profound wisdom.

They saw where these people were holding in the here and now -- yet they also understood who these people actually were and could be: Jews with pure holy souls yearning for expression.

So we learn from this that you can see the reality of the situation, but also see the potential.

There is Truly Always Hope

Chazal says, "Derech eretz kadmah l'Torah" -- which basically means that you need to be a decent person in order to keep the Torah and understand how to keep the Torah.

For example, you can be a jerk and keep the mitzvot, but if you're a jerk, you're still going to really mess up with prohibitions like not taking revenge, not answering an insult with an insult, not engaging in leitzanut (mocking & jeering), not speaking lashon hara, not holding a grudge, not giving way to anger, and many other such fundamental commandments.

If you're a jerk, you may not even be able to properly identify forbidden behavior; you might think it's justifiable or even necessary. For example, you may not be able to identify leitznut for what it is or lashon hara for what it is.

So it's inspiring to see the above examples of people who really lacked deretz eretz, who suffered from serious brazenness, coarseness, narcissism, and callousness -- yet still managed to do real teshuvah anyway.

May we all merit to do complete teshuvah from a place of love.
______
Related Stories of Middot-Teshuvah:
The True Story of How a Murderer Did Teshuvah
From Wise-Cracking Businessman to Soul-Stirring Holy Man

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3 Types of Heavenly Decrees & How to Change Your Destiny

8/7/2018

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In the chapter Zivug in Pele Yoetz, Rav Eliezer Papo humbly offers his delineation of 3 different types of decrees and how one should relate to the third type of decree:

1) A good beneficial decree that will come upon a person, even against his will, and no bad will come from it. On the contrary, the Sages explain that such a decree will even uplift a person.

2) A bad decree that has been written and sealed in Heaven; there is no rescuer.

3) A decree that comes according to a person's requests and efforts.

Regarding the above, the Pele Yoetz advises:

"In light of this, a person must take into account that he is from the third category. And everything that is in his power to do, he shall do."

Asking of and praying to Hashem -- inundating him with your requests -- affects decrees from the third category.

And "efforts" include so much. When you express gratitude for 100 different things (or even just 20 different things), you are changing yourself from within and re-making yourself into a vessel for blessing and good decrees.

When you give tzedakah, your are changing your spiritual form.

When you decide to do any good deed, you are changing your destiny.

You can go from being a treif-eater to a Jew who only eats kosher. You become a different person inside, and that affects the Heavenly decrees pertaining to you.

When you remain silent in the face of an insult, when you hold back the lashon hara exploding in your mouth and heart, when you say "thank you!" instead of "how dare you!" -- you are making yourself a receptacle for blessing and sweet decrees.

In the above, the Pele Yoetz placed his delineation of decrees in the section on meriting one's soulmate.

But really, the concept applies to so much more.

May we all merit to become vessels of sweet decrees and blessings.

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Understanding Torah Sages: Overcoming Black-&-White Thinking

6/7/2018

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Another issue I think holds some people back from learning original texts by tzaddikim is the cult-indoctrinated effect of black-and-white thinking.

Black-and-white thinking leads to "either-or" conclusions.

For example, someone hears that she should light Shabbat candles 10 minutes early to facilitate powerful and additional blessing in her life. So let's say she tries and lights only 5 minutes early. Or she lights exactly on time (10 minutes late, in her mind). Or she even lights 7 minutes after the designated time.

"Because I didn't manage the extra 10 minutes," she might say, "then I failed."

Black-and-white thinking: "Either I manage to light 10 minutes early and receive reward, or I don't and so it means nothing."

"Either I succeeded or I failed."

"Either I receive reward or I receive nothing/or I receive punishment."

This prevents the kind of complex, mind-expanding thought necessary to deal with real spirituality and paradox. And paradox is exactly what Judaism addresses all the time. For example, the paradox of the free will to do anything, yet Hashem controls everything and knows everything in advance. Or the paradox of Hashem being All Compassionate yet there is the Holocaust.

In the above candle-lighting example, a black-and-white thinker denies the fact of spiritual physics: Just the bare truth that she MADE A SINCERE EFFORT to light candles 10 minutes early, then that etched a positive imprint on her soul and also enhances her into a vessel for blessing.

Children think in black-and-white, but adults are supposed to be more advanced than that. Yet because Western society has turned into a cult, and many of us have been raised in this cult-like environment, we can find ourselves affected by black-and-white thinking without even realizing it.

(And because black-and-white thinking leads to despair and hopelessness, this is a major reason why so many people in modern society are depressed or snarky or negative or escapist.)

Also, even an Orthodox environment can unintentionally use cult tactics to teach Torah, which can also affect people negatively, despite the genuine Torah encased within the cult tactics.

Anyway, a lot of Chazal's writings assume that you're in a Jewish community with access to normal non-cultish thinking.

Contradictions or Directions?

So for example, in his chapter on Zivug/A Spouse, the Pele Yoetz brings forth all the familiar stuff, like how your zivug is determined in Shamayim before conception, yet also encourages practical efforts and offers advice, like to ignore material assets in favor of character assets.

But he offers seemingly contradictory advice within. This is because if follow one directive and you're not successful, then you have the contrasting directive as Plan B.

This is Hashem's way of getting you where He wants you to go. You start off one path, but then Hashem nudges you to veer off to another path.

This is sort of like how a Jew does his or her best to keep Shabbat and avoid transgressions, but if Hashem wants a child born on Shabbat, then He sends the signals loud and clear, which cause the parents to transgress Shabbat (calling an ambulance, etc.) -- and such a transgression is actually a mitzvah in this case and ratzon Hashem. So there is no contradiction between keeping the laws of Shabbat and calling an ambulance on Shabbat.

Likewise, the Pele Yoetz refers to earlier Sages who advised a man against marrying a widow because she is likely to recall him fondly, even as she never mentions this to her second husband. "And what if the first was pleasant and the second is a difficult person?" the Pele Yoetz posits. "Then she will despise the second one in her heart." (This seems an obvious hint of advice to the second husband to behave well. See? Rav Papo sprinkles important messages throughout the whole book.)

Then he introduces scarier information, like how the Zohar says that marrying a widow is placing oneself in danger similar to casting oneself to sail in the great ocean.

And then he strongly recommends that avoid marrying a divorcee or widow, and only marry a woman who has never been with a man before.

But then he says:

The exception is if he's gotten along in years and cannot find a betulah to marry; he shall not exempt himself from being fruitful and multiplying. Instead, he should take whoever he can find. And these are the wonders that come from the Perfect Knowing One. And Hashem will not withhold good from those who walk with sincere intentions.

So the above will confuse a black-and-white thinker because the Pele Yoetz so strongly opposes marrying a divorcee or widow, yet seems to capitulate when there's no other choice.

So a black-and-white thinker will say, "Oh, there's no point because look at how bad it is to marry a widow or divorcee." ("Either I need to marry a never-married woman or it's not worth getting married at all!")

And what about the words of the Pele Yoetz, insisting that at the end of the day, a man needs to marry whoever he can?

"Oh, he's just saying that," says the black-and-white thinker. "But we know what he REALLY means -- you're not supposed to marry a widow or divorcee." (See? The black-and-white thinker starts engaging in all sorts of discouraging chachamahs, which lead to despair and inertia.)

And what about the Pele Yoetz's final words on the matter, words which clearly imply that if you can't find a never-married woman, then that's Hashem's way of telling you that the willing divorcee or widow is your real zivug?

"Oh, he's just saying that," dismisses the black-and-white thinker. Or, "Rav Papo was on such a high level, we can't understand what he really meant by that."

And if you try to point out (in the spirit of his words: "And these are the wonders that come from the Perfect Knowing One. And Hashem will not withhold good from those who walk with sincere intentions") that Yehoshua bin Nun married Rachav and things worked out excellently for them (8 prophets descended from them, including Chuldah), or you point out couples you know personally, like say a formerly never-married guy in a very happy marriage with a divorcee and so on, then the black-and-white thinker will wave you off and act like YOU are the one who just doesn't understand.

Hope for the Black-and-White Thinker!

Now, if you feel like you engage in black-and-white thinking like the above, then don't worry. I used to do it too, but baruch Hashem, when you read the words of tzaddikim and make an effort on whatever level you're at to understand what they could possibly mean, then that's exactly what helps you out of your black-and-white tendency.

It doesn't happen overnight, but slowly, your mind starts to heal from all the brainwashing and it opens up like a flower awakening after a long winter.

Side Point: I do think the above chapter is one of the things that relates to Rav Papo's times to a certain extent.

Today, you unfortunately have many people with previous -- even many previous -- relationships prior to marriage. Some of these relationships still linger in the person's mind, yet some are completely forgettable, and the reality of the person's true feelings depends.

And because of the Pele Yoetz's concern for the zivug-seeker's mitzvah of being fruitful, he seems to be addressing a man who has never been married himself. So this is different now, but there are still aspects of this message that apply today.

Don't Judge until You've Read the Whole Book

Also -- and this is a big deal -- it seems to me that they assume that if you're reading their book, then you're reading the whole book (even if it takes you a long time), and not just a chapter or snippet without eventually imbibing the whole thing.

I noticed that whether it's the Kli Yakar commentary on Chumash or the Pele Yoetz mussar guide for life or anyone else, if you don't read the whole thing, then you aren't going to get the whole message or their real attitude about various issues.

For example, even though the Pele Yoetz has a chapter on Women/Nashim and another on Love between Husband & Wife/Ahavat Ish v'Ishah, you are not going to get his full views on women or marriage unless you read the entire work because he sprinkles different or repeated ideas throughout, and there are vital messages in other chapters that aren't where you think they'd be.

May Hashem imbue us all with the knowledge, wisdom, & insight to understand.
__________
Related link:
How to Avoid being a Victim of Mind Control

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Pele Yoetz: Even the Smallest Acts Count beyond Measure!

5/7/2018

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Another major lesson learned from the Pele Yoetz is to avoid pressuring people to bite off more than they can chew.

And many times, we don't know the limits or the capabilities of others.

Sometimes we have a good idea of another's limits or capabilities.

But other times, we just project ourselves onto the other person -- a form of arrogance for us and a discouragement to the other person.

So yeah, sometimes, we pressure others from from our own ego.

Other times, we're so enthused about a certain mitzvah and the way it's working for us, that we forget that the other person may not have the capability to do that mitzvah in the special way that we do.

(And if you find yourself faced with a high-octane enthusiast, I think it's usually best to just go along with them, tell them how great they're doing -- because you get reward for encouraging others & making them feel good about their mitzvot, mezakeh harabim, etc. -- and leave your own personal failings out of it. Just be happy for them as much as you can. Speaking from personal experience on both sides of this scenario... ;)

Anyway, we learn from the Pele Yoetz the importance of encouraging people that even the tiniest act counts for a lot.

For example, regarding Torah study, the Pele Yoetz repeatedly states the following throughout his book:

And they said (Tanna D'vei Eliyahu Zuta, Perek 20) that even if one learns all day the verse "...v'achot Lotan Timna - And sister of Lotan is Timna" -- his reward comes as if he's occupied with Negaim and Ohalot. [Two of the most complex tractates -- MR]

One increases his learning and decreases his learning -- regardless, he should just set his heart toward Shamayim.

The Pele Yoetz does not mean that you shouldn't learn more than that verse if you're able -- on the contrary, he exhorts men to learn as much as they can, including Zohar!

But when a guy finds himself with even the smallest amount of free time ("even the short time it takes for a swallow of saliva"), he should say "v'achot Lotan Timna" (Beresheit 36:22) and earn overwhelming reward.

(That's pretty positive and encouraging, isn't it?)

The Pele Yoetz also stresses this regarding men who aren't learned or who barely know how to read; he encourages them with the above.

(And just for knowing, the Pele Yoetz also felt very strongly about the need teach women and girls how to both read and write: "And how good it would be if women were to learn the skill of writing, for then they could easily learn everything!" He also exhorts the women of his time to go to the women's section of a synagogue in order to hear the Torah lectures given there, quoting Shir Hashirim 2:9 as proof.)
_________
So this is very important:

Don't overload or overwhelm people.

Don't make people feel like if they can't keep up the pace or perform grand gestures, then their efforts are meaningless or worthless.

Encourage people by reassuring them that even the smallest & briefest mitzvah they carry out can reap unimaginable reward and make a significant difference -- as long as they mean to do it for Hashem.

Start out small -- start out miniscule and weak, if that's where you're holding -- then keep on going throughout your failures and successes, sure in the fact that even the tiniest briefest mitzvah reaps great reward and holds mind-boggling significance.

This is straight from Rav Eliezer Papo, a tremendous self-sacrificing tzaddik.

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Pele Yoetz: Always End on a Note of Hope

4/7/2018

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A big lesson to learn from Rav Eliezer Papo's masterpiece, Pele Yoetz, is the way he ends every chapter.

While he interlaces encouragement and positive words within each chapter, some also contain dire warnings and stern rebuke. Nonetheless, he never leaves us without reassurance, encouragement, and hope.

Rav Papo maintained a firm belief in our power to rise above our addictions, bad habits, false beliefs, and our yetzer hara in any form.

Affirming Our Innate Goodness & Ability

For example, at the end of the chapter on Young Men/Bachur (you can imagine all the dire things he mentions in such a chapter), Rav Papo ends with:

"And behold, God stands over him [as a Protector]; He will be with him in assistance because one who comes to purify himself earns Heavenly assistance."

The chapter called Rebuke/Gaarah concludes as follows:

"The voice of fools in rebuke 'they are a vanity, an act of delusion' [Yirmiyahu 10:15] to those who hear them, confusing them and confounding them. But the words of the wise which are heard in pleasantness are sweet and accepted by their listeners."

He ends the chapter entitled Speech/Dibur, a chapter full of exhortations and prohibitions, with the following:

"To you, gentlemen, I call: Brothers and friends, I'm very pained on your behalf, on behalf of this sin that is to your detriment and the evil that stands before you, chas v'shalom. And even more than that, how great is my pain on behalf of the pain of our Father in Heaven who waits to bestow favor upon us...and please, exchange bad for good! Gather in the place of a Torah scholar or a learned person to hear learning...and acquire paths of life and lofty attributes."

Rav Papo ends the chapter Rising Early/Haskamah with characteristic optimism and holy cheerleading:

"With his heart, he will understand and with his ears, he will hear, and as he shall repent, Hashem will heal him."

Go, team Am Yisrael, go!

Rav Papo ends General Principles: Part I/Klalot Alef with:

"All that is in his power to accomplish, he should do and all that a man desires, he should do. Only the beginning will be difficult. And in doing so, a person will become desirable and Hashem will be for him as a shelter. And a vision of the Almighty he shall see.

And this is enough for whoever possesses a good heart."

The end of Afternoon Prayer/Mincha:

"...only the beginnings are difficult because afterwards, it will be sweet for him and it shall be as a delightful fragrance for him, and worthy of blessing and contentment is he in This World and it's good for him in the World to Come."

So we see that it's important to end on a positive, reassuring, and encouraging note:
Yes, sinning is terrible and Gehinnom is just awful -- but if you just try your best to do the right thing, then God will help you out, He'll stand by your side all the way, and things will ultimately end up wonderfully!

Judging Wonky Jews Favorably

Rav Papo also finds excuses for the errant, a way to judge them favorably and with understanding, even as he rebukes the wonky behavior, like in the chapter on Speech/Dibur:

"Come and see how the enemy [yetzer hara] has overpowered people so much so that when brothers sit together, and they have nothing new to say, one starts saying, 'The cold today is good, the heat today is good, the rain is good, the snow is good,' and such things that are obvious to all -- simply because their yetzer agitates within them and they're embarrassed to sit in silence."

See? Rav Papo blames the inane behavior on the yetzer hara, emphasizing the great strength of the yetzer hara, which implies that these people are good and want to do the right thing, but have simply collapsed under the weight of their yetzer hara. Also, he acknowledges the very real embarrassment people tend to struggle with in such situations.

(Then Rav Papo explains how to get up and fight the yetzer hara.)

You can just imagine what Rav Papo has to say in his chapter on Illicit Acts/Znut, but even after he mentions some pretty reprehensible acts, he never stops judging favorably:

"And this comes from a lack of awareness of the great severity of the act, or due to bad friends who trick them into it..."

In other instances, Rav Papo inserts a plea for Hashem to atone for their sins, as in the chapter entitled Judges & Officers/Shoftim v'Shotrim:

"Woe to it, to a generation that such a thing has risen in its days, that there are large cities in in the cities of Edom [Europe] that host hundreds of thousands of Jews and the Torah is forgotten from among them, and they only conduct cases in the jurisdiction of non-Jews and it's done as if permissible -- May God Who is Good atone for them."

Ken yehi ratzon!

Bringing It All Home

So I learned 2 important lessons from the entire Pele Yoetz:

It's essential it is to find merits and judge favorably even as you're discussing what's wrong with society or as you're attempting to correct someone's behavior.

It's important to always end on a note of hope and sincere belief in the person's innate goodness and ability to improve and do teshuvah.

I think it's also a guide for when hearing rebuke from others, to know what level the critic is really on and where their criticism is really coming from. If they can't see the good in you, if they can't see that you're not evil or stupid but just stuck or uninformed, if they don't believe that you have the ability to change for the better, well, then...you sure aren't hearing rebuke from a tzaddik.

Rav Eliezer Papo willing underwent a prolonged and agonizing death for his community, then left a legacy to assist and encourage us forevermore.

We can trust that his attitude and approach are the real deal.

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Why We Need to Let the Pele Yoetz (and Any Old-Time Mussar) Penetrate Our Modern Life & How to Do It

2/7/2018

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Rav Papo's Saintly Life & Heroic Death

Rabbi Eliezer Papo, author of the Pele Yoetz (published in 1824), was a saintly sage born in Sarajevo, Bosnia in 1785 and passed away during Sukkot in Silistra, Bulgaria in 1827 (20 Tishrei 5588) after having served as their rabbi for around 14 years.

Both in his actions and his writings, Rav Papo invested all he could in helping the Jews of the Balkans achieve both their material and their spiritual needs.

Reading his book the Pele Yoetz or reading the prayers he composed (some of which are included in the Pele Yoetz and all of which appear in his book of prayers called Beit Tefillah), one gets the impression of a very wise and caring father, a father full of passion, concern, and hope for even his most errant child.

He yearned for his fellow Jews to fill themselves with Torah wisdom and in this way, achieve true happiness and contentment, both in This World and the Next.

The Pele Yoetz displays Rav Papo's passion to make the Jewish world a wiser, happier, kinder, and more serene world filled with emuna. To these means, he encouraged the education of both men and women, and encouraged everyone to learn Torah with whatever abilities they possessed.

Yet prior to the Sukkot of 1827, he received a devastating message from Heaven:
His community had been sentenced to suffer a horrible plague.

Many would fall ill and many would die.

Needless to say, as the plague would take its toll on the lives, finances, and well-being of the community, the initial suffering would extend on for years.

However, there was a way to cancel out this plague.

If Rav Papo would agree to take on the plague himself -- including the resulting death -- then the entire community would be spared.

Rav Papo agreed.

He suffered the plague for several weeks, knowing he'd never survive it. But Rav Papo never stopped praying to Hashem and expressing his yearning for Hashem that entire time. He kept up a stream of confessionals and supplications, although one wonders what sins could such a tzaddik possibly have to confess? (That right there is a tip for all of us.)

It was an incredible act.

Presumably, Heaven decreed the plague due to the sins of the people. And in Pele Yoetz, you discover the stumbling blocks of that generation at that time. Of course there were many good people (Sarajevo was a Torah center that produced many great Torah sages at that time) and many good deeds, but the encouragement, rebuke, and advice he gives in the Pele Yoetz also spotlights problems that are still familiar.

Some people were envious, contentious, indolent, pompous, bad-tempered, miserly, gossipy, indulged their taavot as much as their situation allowed, wasted their time in eating & drinking & hanging out, and all the rest.

Yet Rav Papo still felt they were worth dying for.

And not only did Rav Papo literally die for the sins of the people (yet no one made a god out of him), but he even sought to provide for us forevermore after his death with the promise that whoever would immerse in a mikveh and pray at his grave with a broken heart, then their prayers would be accepted before the Creator of the Universe.

Even today, Jews still make their way to the place near the Danube where Rav Papo is buried and have apparently seen miracles as a result.

Expanding the Real You

I'm writing this because Rav Papo left us a book of advice.

And unfortunately, many people today prefer to dismiss Sagely advice that doesn't suit their emotional level or doesn't make sense to them with ideas like "this doesn't apply to our generation" or "that's for the people who follow him, not my group" or "that's only for tzaddikim" or "you have to be on a very high level to really understand what he's saying" or "but it doesn't tell you HOW to do what it advises" and so on.

And though I'm not proud to admit it, I used to say this stuff too.

But it's mostly not true.

Rav Papo was clearly writing for everybody. He was clearly aware of the different levels on which people stood (whether a tzaddik or a Jew at the 49th gate of tumah) and he also knew what he was talking about.

Yes, it's true that some of the specifics of his advice applied only to his time, a time without electricity or indoor plumbing, a time in which some homes possessed a dirt floor. And some are culturally specific (i.e., Jews living in the 19th-Century Balkans under Muslim rule).

But the general lessons are still valid.

And yes, it's true that this generation needs to grind its mental gears to understand what he means. Even in the English translation (which I recommend), Rav Papo does not use the language or nuance we're used to. So yes, you do need to work harder to understand what he's saying, especially if you hit something that rubs you the wrong way.

(And yes, I'm speaking from personal experience.)

But who says that's bad? Why should that be an insurmountable obstacle?

If you need to ruminate over the advice of a tzaddik, if you need to turn it over in your head a million times, if you need to wrangle with it, then what's wrong with that?

On the contrary, that's exactly what both sharpens your mind and leads to increased emotional maturity.

Furthermore, the very idea that rubs you wrong or seems incomprehensible now often because helpful and clear later on as you grow.

But if you're never exposed to the idea in the first place, how will you know?

And this idea also applies to mussar works by all our tzaddikim.

Having said that, you'll also find many statements in the Pele Yoetz that are appealing and easy to understand. It depends who you are and where you're coming from.

Anyway, I just think it's good to give the old-time original mussar literature a chance as much as you can at whatever pace you can manage at whatever level you're at.

I started out very slow at a very low level, and I still feel that I benefited over time.

And I wish the same for everyone else (including myself because I still have a long ways to go and it hasn't been easy).

May Hashem open our minds & hearts to receive His Truth & Wisdom.
_________
The Pele Yoetz in English online
The printed 2-volume set of the Pele Yoetz in English

The gravesite of Rav Eliezer Papo today. By אלבום משפחתי (אלבום משפחתי) [GFDL or CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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How to Achieve Bitachon in 3 Steps

19/6/2018

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In his inspiring book, Ahavat Kedumim (A Commentary on The Lost Princess), Rav Ofer Erez, explains how to acquire bitachon -- trust in God.
(Or, as Rav Avigdor Miller summed it up in one sentence: "Bitachon means to say that Hashem knows what's best for us -- that's all." Tape E-216, December 1999.)

(The following applies to the part of this profoundly allegorical story in which the giant appointed over the winds gifts the viceroy a magic vessel that contains unlimited funds; this "magic" vessel symbolizes bitchon.)

Building bitachon is a life-long process, but whatever progress you can manage is really, really good and these 3 steps can give you concrete tools on how to advance in this area.

On pages 244-250, Rav Erez explains how bitachon is built from 3 steps:

Step 1: Accepting that everything is orchestrated by Hashem using precise individual supervision, with this acceptance ideally leading a person to accept even challenging events with humility and submission.

Note: Humility and submission to human beings is negative. It leads to co-dependence and masochism. But with Hashem, it only leads to personal greatness and a sweetening of judgement (even if that personal greatness and sweetening are not yet perceivable).

Step 2: Accepting that everything is for our benefit, with this acceptance ideally leading us to accept events with love and gratitude.

Note: This is very, very difficult when going through an agonizing experience. People who've been through very painful episodes in life may even feel outraged when faced with this concept. That's normal and the only book I know that addresses this issue head-on is Garden of Emuna, with Garden of Gratitude as its follow-up for this topic. Likewise, it's also perfectly normal to have ups and downs, veering between feeling outraged or resentful and feeling accepting & grateful.

Step 3: Accepting events with joy by knowing there is no "bad" in the world; everything is a message from Hashem to come closer to Him.

Note: Obviously, there ARE events we perceive as bad or appalling or tragic. Likewise, Judaism does not have us hold a party when someone dies, but insists on a week of intense mourning, followed by another 3 weeks of mourning, with Tisha B'Av as an entire day of national mourning and grief. At the same time, there is a concept in Chazal that in the World to Come, the blessing we currently make over good things (Baruch Hatov v'Hameitiv), will be made over the bad things too because in the light of Truth, we'll see clearly how even the harsh and heartrending events were really for our benefit.

This is yet another example of paradox in Judaism, and one with which many people understandably struggle.

Rav Erez goes on to say:

"Within the third step, a person doesn't just subdue his will, he starts to accept b'simcha whatever passes over him. When a person accepts scorn and breaks out in dance, when a person receives troubling news and he claps his hands to sweeten the judgements, when things occur beyond his understanding and he breaks out in melody and dance for Hashem and he cries out, 'I don't understand anything. But, Abba, thank You for concerning Yourself with me; this is certainly coming from great love' -- a tremendous light extends over the person, the light of complete bitachon. This is the light of humility and holy joy."

(Naturally, when saying it yourself, you can replace "Abba" with "Daddy" or "Tatty" or "Papa.")

And again, it's perfectly normal to achieve this level for one moment, then feel discouraged or bitter an hour later, and then to reach this level a couple of hours or moments after that.

It can even be a roller-coaster ride of days, weeks, or years.

This is the challenge and spirit of our generation.

The main thing is to at least try at whatever level you're on.

Depending on what each person has suffered in life and depending on individual personalities, some people find this much more difficult than others. That's normal.

The main thing is just to try.
___________

Related links:
Rav Ofer Erez in English
For more about the phenomena of spiritually and emotionally soaring and plummeting, even several times within a day, please see his series on Spiritual Bipolar Disorder.
Garden of Emuna (for Jews)
The Universal Garden of Emuna (non-denominational for non-Jews)
Note: I have not personally read this book, but recommend it on the strength of Rav Arush's other books, which I have read and found exceptional.
Garden of Gratitude
Note: This book is amazing, but if I hadn't read Garden of Emuna first, I would've found Garden of Gratitude too "strong" and not gotten out of it what I should. But everyone's different, so go with whatever you perceive as best for you.

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<<Previous

A Welcome Insight into Yotzer Ohr - He Who Creates Light

A Tzaddik's Example: Listen, Empathize, Encourage

From Wise-Cracking Businessman to Soul-Stirring Holy Man

Na'afochu -- A Spiritual Somersault

From Rich Man to Rich Soul

2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation

From Shabbos Transgressor to Shabbos Lover

From Rough to Refined

Holding Back with Your Left & Drawing in with Your Right

There is Truly Always Hope

3 Types of Heavenly Decrees & How to Change Your Destiny

Understanding Torah Sages: Overcoming Black-&-White Thinking

Contradictions or Directions?

Hope for the Black-and-White Thinker!

Don't Judge until You've Read the Whole Book

Pele Yoetz: Even the Smallest Acts Count beyond Measure!

Pele Yoetz: Always End on a Note of Hope

Affirming Our Innate Goodness & Ability

Judging Wonky Jews Favorably

Bringing It All Home

Why We Need to Let the Pele Yoetz (and Any Old-Time Mussar) Penetrate Our Modern Life & How to Do It

Rav Papo's Saintly Life & Heroic Death

Expanding the Real You

How to Achieve Bitachon in 3 Steps

Myrtle Rising

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