Category: Chagim/Holidays - Myrtle Rising

Shanah Tovah & Sorry!

20/9/2017

It's always weird to apologize on a blog. You don't even know the vast majority of your readers.
But just the same, I am sorry if anything I wrote here hurt you in some way. My intention is always to build and not to destroy, but sometimes good intentions just aren't enough and hurtful messages come out anyway.
So I hope that you, whoever you are wherever you are, will take this as a personal apology.
And thanks for reading and thanks also to all who've left comments.
I really appreciate your readership and your thoughts.

May we all have a sweet year!
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Some articles that can contribute to having a meaningful Rosh Hashanah:
14 Ways to Sweeten Dinim
Dr. Ballen's Really Helpful SWAP Tool

Little Yael's Rosh Hashanah Coat

19/9/2017

Yael [not her real name] grew up next door to my husband, both in Morocco and in Eretz Yisrael. Several years older than him, she remembered things from Morocco that he couldn’t as a baby.

We spent Shabbat in her villa with her family in a pastoral area of Eretz Yisrael and she’s full of joy and vitality. She and her husband celebrate Saturday night Melaveh Malka with singing, tambourines, and bongo drums.

She described the good relations Jews enjoyed with their Muslim neighbors.
But when the Jews chased out the antisemitic British and established a country of their own, the Arab propaganda machine started up against all Jews everywhere.

Like other Moroccan Jews I've met, Yael emphasized that crimes against Moroccan Jews were committed by Muslim strangers, and not by the Muslims they knew and lived with (unlike in Europe, where pogroms and Nazi collaboration were carried out by non-Jewish "friends" and neighbors). And she also stressed Moroccan Jewry's unwavering belief that Morocco's royal family opposed the antisemitic outbreaks, but couldn't always stop the riled-up masses.

Here, I’ll tell the story in Yael’s own words as best I remember:

I was six years old and it was one of our last Rosh Hashanahs in Morocco. My father was a tailor by trade and a chazzan [cantor] by love, a profession which he upheld free of charge.

That Rosh Hashanah, my father made me a brand new coat in my favorite color—techeilet like the sky, a color I still adore and love to wear!

It was beautiful. Sky-blue velvet trimmed with white fur and beautifully made by my abba—especially for me! I couldn’t wait to wear it!

I just felt that my abba loved me so much!

But that was the time when the Arabs started acting up. Their mosques and radios incited them against us.

Rosh Hashanah arrived and I was dancing with the anticipation of wearing my new coat, wrapped in my father’s love and the beauty of the coat.

But my mother said, “Yael! Don’t you dare go outside in that coat! It’s not safe anymore. You wait until the men come and then you’ll go with them to the beit haknesset [synagogue]. Don’t you go out wearing that coat!”

Yet I couldn’t wait. And you know how six-year-olds are…I told myself, I won’t actually go outside on the street; I’ll just wait on the steps. That’s not really outside the home. The steps are part of the home.

Then I decided that I won’t wear the coat; I won’t be going out in my coat. I’ll just put it over my arm. And that way, I won’t be disobeying my mother.

So very quietly, I snuck out the door with my beloved coat draped over my arm and I waited on the steps for the men to come and take me to the beit haknesset.

And just then—before I could even realize what was happening—an Arab ran up to me and just ripped the coat off my arm!

And as I watched him race off into the darkness, I couldn’t move.

I, a little girl, could not go running after an Arab man to get my coat back.

And I couldn’t leave the doorstep because it was too dangerous to go out in the street.

Yet I couldn't even stay where I was because that was dangerous too! I mean, look at what just happened on my own doorstep!

But I also couldn’t go back inside my home and face my mother...especially when she warned me against doing exactly what I’d done.

And what could I possibly say to my abba?

I couldn't go, but I couldn't stay either.

I’ll never forget being this helpless little girl standing outside on the doorstep of my home, frozen in place with no place at all.

And that’s where she ended it. It was clear from her face and the hand she clutched over her heart as she spoke that even fifty years later, the trauma was still raw.

(I know, I know…it makes you want to storm over to Morocco and shout: GIVE THAT LITTLE JEWISH GIRL HER COAT BACK!)

No one died, no one was even bruised or even cursed, but there’s something about these very human stories that tear at your heart.

But There’s Still a Happy End!

The happy postscript is that Yael remained frum after arriving to the poor, dysfunctional immigrant neighborhood in Eretz Yisrael (a lucky fact she attributes to her father's beautiful singing and the general music in the home, plus her brother’s ability to bring some of the yeshivah atmosphere and enthusiasm home from the yeshivah which he later attended). She earned a college degree and married a cheerful man who also likes music.

But the beginning of the marriage saw no children. After 4 years of infertility, the Lubavitcher Rebbe came to Yael’s husband in a dream and promised them a son within a year.

And so it was. Within a year, their first son was born followed by a daughter three years later, and then no more.

Interestingly, neither Yael nor her husband shared any connection with Lubavitcher Chassidus or the Lubavitcher Rebbe other than the general esteem in which Yael and her husband held all tzaddikim. The Lubavitcher Rebbe's appearance occurred completely out of the blue.

When the dream’s message was fulfilled, Yael and her husband became Chabadnikim.

May all Jews everywhere merit to embrace all our chagim in peace.

Did Av and Elul Switch Places?

6/9/2017

Trying to be happy in a place of constriction!

Of course Elul and Av did not switch places.

But at first, it felt like they did.

Av is always a hard month for me and a time when I really struggle to overcome the inner lion roaring to get out.
(Please see How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz and Savage Av for more about Av's "inner lion.")

But mostly, this Av saw me making some progress without the usual lows. I was thrilled because I thought that if Av was going so well, spiritually speaking, then Elul would be amazing.

Only Rosh Chodesh Elul arrived, and I went numb. It wasn’t depression exactly, but just "blah." I even did a few things in the spiritual realm that called for tremendous time, effort, and a certain amount of self-sacrifice. One of them I’d never done before.

I felt good for two minutes after I’d completed these efforts, then things went right back to blah.

I tried all sorts of things, including writing down 20 things for which I was grateful and Pitum Haketoret among other spiritual efforts, acupressure, the proper vitamins...and still no release.

Then I started thinking things that I knew were false and anti-Torah, like maybe this is Heavenly rejection, maybe Hashem doesn’t like me anymore, chas v’shalom.
And yes, I knew this couldn’t possibly be true, yet I fretted about it anyway.

(I realized later that because I've failed this particular challenge before, Hashem was probably throwing it my way again in a last-ditch attempt for me to tackle it before Rosh Hashanah.)

Heartbreakingly, it also seemed that toddlers injured in Av were succumbing to their injuries in Elul.

I felt a lot of din maybe?

Then I started seeing a lot of spiders, including a very big one. In Perek Shira, the spider (shmamit) says, “HalleluHu b'tziltzalei shema. HalleluHu b'tziltzilei teruah - Praise Him with resounding cymbals. Praise Him with trumpet blasts” (Tehillim 150:5).

According to the Metzudah Tehillim, Rav Shimshon Rafael Hirsch explains this verse as "a call to whole groups for attentive participation."
Metzudat David says tziltzalim (cymbals) produce a sound that travels far.
Malbim says that teruah (trumpeting) represents fear of punishment (yirat onesh), but this fear will be mixed with joy.

(I believe that some interpret shmamit as a small lizard and I saw a couple of geckos along with the spiders. Either way, I got the message: With humility and joy, Praise Hashem LOUD AND CLEAR!)

So all these "singing" spiders and geckos encouraged me to start calling out thanks and praise to Hashem (as per the Sages commentaries on that verse) with myself, with my family members, and on this blog.
(Now you know why you got a big dose of pro-monotheism posts!)

Finally, I decided to say a prayer before randomly opening Volume 1 of Words of Faith by Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender.

It was all about not speaking falsely (even positively) or with any exaggeration of the deceased. I haven’t been speaking about dead people at all recently as far as I could tell, so I did the procedure again with the Volume 2.

Bingo!

It was all about the key to getting past “dry” hitbodedut:
Talk to Hashem like He's your Good, True Friend.

I realized that when I was trying to talk to Hashem, I was being too self-conscious about it. I was being too formulaic and not "real" enough.

I ended up not having any alone-time that day, so I resolved to give it a try the next day.

I also tried to remember that Rav Berland spoke about this, that sometimes you’re not given a good feeling about your spiritual stuff for two reasons:

Having too much blessing too fast really makes people incredibly stuck on themselves. I’ve seen it happen and it’s a very real concern.
Sometimes, Hashem just wants us to serve Him from a place of constriction. It’s a way of serving Hashem l’Shem Shamayim. You don’t have all the enthusiasm and flavor and spiritual uplift. You’re only doing it because Hashem said so.

It feels all wrong, but really, constriction is Hashem’s way of earning you and the rest of Am Yisrael a lot of extra merit. In other words, it’s actually a really good thing, even though it feels bad.

So that made me feel a little better.

But I was still out of sorts until I finally had the private time to speak to Hashem. I still got distracted, but I tried to follow the "Good, True Friend" advice by closing my eyes and settling my mind into the idea that right now, I'm talking to Someone who really cares about me, is totally Trustworthy, and Kind, Gentle, and Warm. And eventually it went pretty well and I felt better.

Now Elul is going better. I’m in basically good spirits even as those year-end “This is your last chance to get it right!” nisayonot are rolling in.

So I hope I’ll keep feeling the spiritual flavor of Elul. But if I don’t, I plan to do my best to keep pushing myself along spiritually and trying to feel good about serving Hashem from a place of constriction.
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How to Serve Hashem from a Place of Constriction by Rav Berland

Tu B'Av - How Dancing Reflects the True You

6/8/2017

Note: This post has been updated, mostly with prettier formatting and additional details added to the stories.
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(Courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti-FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

When I first heard that Jews originally used Tu B’Av as a time to pick a wife based on her dancing, I just couldn’t understand how that could be.

But as time went on, I noticed that the personality of the dancer truly can be reflected in the dancing.

Dancing at Weddings

At a wedding long ago, one of the guests was this adorable young woman sweetly dressed in a pink velvet top and a wide pink satin skirt that reached her ankles. She was petite with a strawberry blonde shaitel full of little curls down to her shoulders. She looked like the perfect doll come to life.

Imagine my shock when we started circle-dancing and she grabbed my hand, immediately yanking on my arm with a force that belied her delicate little stature. I immediately pulled away – but she actually hung on!

Then she let me go and as I stepped away from the dancing, the next woman joined hands unsuspectingly with the The Doll, only to immediately be yanked so hard she almost fell over. She looked at The Doll with the same shock I probably had on my face, and also stepped away, rubbing her shoulder. The pattern repeated itself and someone even said, “Ow! Stop – that hurts!”

The Doll responded by pursing her lips and furrowing her pert little nose.
Wimp! she clearly seemed to be thinking.

It ended with several of us standing there and staring at her in disbelief.

“C’mon! C’mon!” she barked, bouncing on her feet like a boxer up for the next round. “Let’s dance! C’mon!” Her lips rubbed against each other and her eyes lit up like the eyes of those who go to hockey games to see the blood bounce off the ice. Her little fists pounded her satin skirt as she looked at us. “Come on! What’s wrong with you guys? This is a wedding! Let’s dance!”

At that point, as if one, we drifted away to other circles of dancers.

As I looked back, her face was all pinched and glaring in a way that clearly said, Can’t take the heat, eh? What a bunch of wimps!

I wondered who'd had the guts to marry her.

A girl name Miriam loved to attend weddings because she loved to dance for the kallah – something she did with infectious joy and energy. When other girls complimented her dancing, she always answered, “Thanks! B’ezras Hashem, I’ll dance at your wedding, too – may it be soon!”

When I mentioned to a mutual friend how much I admired Miriam’s dancing, the friend said, “Sure! And you should have seen how she used to rip up the clubs with her dancing!”

“Really?” I said (neither of us realizing at the time that now we were entering the realm of lashon hara).

“Sure! She used to go clubbing all the time and dance for hours! She was also really into rap music.”

“But that’s so weird,” I said. “Because her dancing is totally tzanuah. She doesn’t throw in any of those provocative moves. She just seems totally happy for the kallah.”

“Yes,” said the friend. “Because she’s done true teshuvah. She’s a real example to follow.”

A distant cousin of my husband’s whom I’d never met before danced at our wedding non-stop and with a serious sense of purpose and dedication. When I thanked her later and told her how much it meant to me, she looked surprised and said, “Of course! It’s a big mitzvah to dance at a wedding.”

I found out later she was known to be a conscientious, serious, trustworthy type.

Another time, I watched as two newly married women danced for a kallah. One looked unsmiling off to the side, her movements half-hearted and robotic; she seemed not to want to be there and didn't care who knew it - including the kallah. In contrast, her partner gazed warmly into the eyes of the kallah with a quiet smile, her steps gentle and light.

Socializing with them later revealed that the first was very unhappy. (Understandably, she was feeling very lonely as a newlywed far away from her family and old friends.) And the second was warm, kind, and engaging (and trying very hard to help the first newlywed not feel so lonely). So this may not have reflected the first newlywed's true essence, but merely the state she was in at that time.

Dancing at an Old Age Home

And even outside of weddings, a dancer’s personality still peeps out. At an old age home, I watched as one young woman pranced lightly among the residents, singing softly and pleasantly while clapping her hands gently. I didn't realize at the time she was divorced (her shaitel was very realistic) and the light that shone from her soul belied the traumatic year she spent in an emotionally abusive marriage. (As I got to know her, I discovered an exceptionally special young woman who remarried a really wonderful and sweet bachur not long after.)

The old folks mostly slouched in their chairs, staring at nothing, with only a few blessed with enough good health to clap and sway in rhythm. The young woman’s face glowed with gentle joy and caring. Another dancing girl kept stared blankly off to the side as she clapped her hands and bounced around, singing by rote. Then she grabbed the hands of an elderly woman hunched almost face down over a desk and started swinging the woman’s stiff arms back and forth. The elderly lady made a choking sound, then started emitting warbles of pain: “Ahhhahh – ahhahh – aaaaagh!”

But the girl didn't stop.

Shocked, I put my hand on the girl’s arm and whispered, “Wait, I don’t think she likes that much.”

Startled, the girl’s eyes widened as her head jerked around to look at me. Then she gave me a disgruntled frown and shook me off, moving away while looking at me as if I had done something indecent. I was certain it was just a defensive reaction; after all, she must have been embarrassed to be shown how she was accidentally hurting this arthritic old lady. I thought that was the end of it until I saw her back with the same woman, the elderly lady’s stiff body rocking back and forth helplessly as the same girl swung the lady’s arms from side to side, accompanied by the elderly lady’s painful warbles.

Without thinking, I rushed over to the girl and said, “Stop! Can’t you see you’re hurting her?!”

The girl looked at me in startled disgust, raised her chin, and gave a disdainful sniff as she danced as far away from me as possible.

She seemed so sure of herself, I started wondering whether I’d misinterpreted the elderly lady’s sounds. Perhaps the elderly lady was trying to sing along and I mistakenly thought she was in unbearable agony?

I leaned over to see if the lady was okay. She lay with her stiff arms stretched out across her desk, breathing hard, and still gasping and groaning a little. Her eyes were wide and frantic-looking. Biting my lip, I asked her if she was okay. She stared at me a moment as if to say, Do you really need to ask? and rolled her eyes.

Oddly, that same girl appeared very different in class. She sat staring off into space the entire time, leaning to the side in a way that made me wonder if she was drugged. If directly addressed, she looked startled, straightened up for the time it took her to answer, then immediately flopped over and went back to staring at nothing. She seemed quiet and unhappy, and my initial impression of her was of a nice girl for whom I felt sorry. But her dancing persona gave me a totally different insight.

(Although to be fair, popular medications like Prozac can cause its user to become insensitive and even obnoxious to others. Even Tylenol studies recently proved that acetaminophen lowers a person's empathy. So perhaps the disdainful dancer I saw was not the real her, but merely how she was on medication. Maybe.)

Choosing Your Dancer

The explanation behind Tu B’Av opened my eyes to the fact that you certainly can see a lot in a person’s dancing. There are basic middot, like a need to dominate or a sense of purpose or insensitivity or someone who just goes through the motions. And then there are personality types – all good, but still different: lively and bursting with simchat chaim or gentle and sweet or serious and committed.

And that’s just to name a few.

So a boy looking for an energetic girl who embraces a life of mitzvot with gusto might choose a girl like Miriam.
But a boy who prefers a girl who’s gentle and sensitive might choose the second baton-dancer or the young divorcee.
Yet another boy who’s looking for girl who marches through life with heartfelt seriousness and a strong sense of purpose might choose my husband’s distant cousin.

(And in case you were wondering, The Doll and the girl at the old age home were just 2 out of only 3 times I ever saw such aggressive behavior while dancing. Phew!)

(Pretty floral dividers courtesy of Webweaver's Free Clipart.)

Tisha B'Av: What are We REALLY Missing and Mourning?

30/7/2017

I always find it very hard to relate to the times when either Beit Hamikdash was standing.

Meaning, I find it hard to visualize what it must have been like, what exactly it gave to us and what exactly we lack now.

It's hard to know what you've never experienced.

Part of the problem is that you read about how things operated, yet at the same time, people started acting like it wasn’t there and all sorts of crazy things happened, like all the times a fake Kohen Gadol went into the Kodesh Kadoshim (Holy of Holies), he entered with a rope around his ankle so that when he dropped dead (Kodesh Kadoshim doesn’t suffer fakes), the people could pull him out for burial without endangering themselves.

Everything about the Beit Hamikdash was set up to make doing the right thing easier and doing the wrong thing harder. It was also set up to atone for when Jews did do the wrong thing because as Rebbe Levi Yitzchack Bender said in Words of Faith, the rituals in the Beit Hamikdash didn’t allow sin to settle on a Jew overnight because the Jewish soul cannot carry sin. Yet today we are forced to carry our sins overnight and even for years. (Unless we sit with Hashem every day to do a cheshbon nefesh…or at least, we immediately acknowledge our sin and ask forgiveness.)

So here’s my best shot at what it must have been like:

A Look Inside the Beit Hamikdash

First of all, the Beit Hamikdash hit all your senses in the most sublime way:

the air was imbued with the scent of Ketoret and the roasting meat of the korbonot
you heard the melodies of the Leviim singing as they played their flutes, horns, harps, and drums
you saw the tremendous beauty of marble, gold, and copper all around you
the techeilet color worn by the Kohanim was not just a sky blue, but a deep, rich azure
you walked barefoot on smooth marble
the emotional atmosphere consisted of profound spirituality, which included sincere teshuvah and lofty joy.
healing of past traumas came so easily
it was easy to feel unity, Hashem’s Love along with your own love for others, and forgiveness.

(Please see the Kli Yakar on detailed symbolism of the Mishkan and the Kodesh Kadoshim.)

Scent
Today, we know that some scents can be described as “heady.” Furthermore, inhaling certain substances can even make you high. But it’s a false demonic high.

Scent is incredibly powerful; you probably have known the experience of catching a smell you haven’t smelled in years and being taken back to that original experience (whether for good or for bad).

Yet the scent of the Ketoret was special.

Made with specific ingredients in specific amounts, it enhanced the spiritual experience with total purity. Ketoret was Holy and by inhaling it, you became infused with untainted Holiness and spirituality. This gave you a shortcut of sorts to the very things we fight so hard for today: teshuvah, feeling close to Hashem, davening with a focused mind and a captivated heart…Ketoret also repelled flies, and nullified scorpions and snakes wherever the scent wafted. Ketoret could also stop even the most rabid plague.

Even today, just reading the Ketoret service provides powerful protection against disease, family disharmony, and klippot (forces of spiritual impurity) while opening channels of success (both financial and spiritual).

If that’s true of just its reading, imagine what being infused with its scent must have been like!

(See more at How Ketoret Proctects against Spiritual Tumah.)

The Scent and Sight of the Korbonot Experience
Many modern Jews struggle to relate to the Korbonot (Sacrifices). In short, Korbonot were performed with specific actions in specific amounts on specific animals. Everything was highly symbolic and the Kohanim themselves dedicated themselves out of heartfelt concern for the errant Jews offering the Korbonot and out of their own personal sense of intimacy with Hashem. Living within the Beit Hamikdash as it were, the Kohanim were constantly infused with the entire atmosphere - heart, body, and soul.

The entire physical ritual of the Korbonot reflected a spiritual process which affected the baal teshuvah on the inside by spiritually cremating all that person’s bad thoughts and taavot that led to the sin in the first place!

But as people began to relate to the Korbonot by rote, they clogged the opening for the spiritual effect to penetrate, which also clogged the preventive effect.

In other words, those offering the korbon didn’t want the atonement and prevention enough. Going through the motions was enough for them, tragically speaking.

(See the Kli Yakar on more detailed symbolism of the Kohanim and the Ketoret and here for a short explanation of how the Korbonot worked on an inner spiritual level.)

Music
Ah, music…this is what I’m affected by the most. I could get lost within just the right song.

Today, popular music is calculated and produced to hit a person’s brain in just the right way. Producers have fine-tuned tempo, chord structure, beat, and timing to a science.
Just the “right” song can pull you from a lively mood into one of longing, nostalgia, or tears within minutes. Yet just the “right” upbeat song can imbue renewed energy and cheer to a gloomy person, even igniting him to dance.

Today’s music has been one of the strongest influences in society’s downward spiral. (TV/movies and books/newspapers are its competition for what gets First Place in the promotion of immoral gunk.) I even read a disturbing account of a prisoner in a torture chamber during the Balkan War of the Nineties whose guitar-playing inflamed tired or uninterested torturers back into torture-mode.
(And no, he wasn’t forced to play. Sick, I know.)

But the music of the Beit Hamikdash hit all the right notes—literally. Every note, every instrument, every voice was meant to uplift your heart in the purest and most genuine way.

With today’s heavy bass pounding away in even the frummest venues, it’s hard to imagine the profound and heart-lifting effect of soft drums, flutes, harps, clear horns, and Levite tenors and baritones on the heart of a Jew among the infusion of Ketoret surrounded by marble and rich gleaming metals.

Frum Allure Back Then vs Non-Jewish Allure Now

Back then, occult worship offered an easy-come-easy-go coating of feelings and results. But for all the occult incense, you had the equally compelling Ketoret. For the alluring music of the idolaters, you had the equally compelling symphony of the Leviim. For all the glitter and glory of the temples of Baal, Dagon, and Aphrodite, you had the stunning magnificence of the Beit Hamikdash to surpass them all (as stated in the Talmud Sukkah 51b).

Yet today...
Reading/Learning

People complain that frum books (whether non-fiction or novels) just aren’t as compelling as secular books.
And which article do you turn to first in a frum magazine - the dvar Torah or the newest chapter of the serial novel or news feature?
Does a blog post on a dvar Torah ever get nearly the same number of comments as a post on something more current and "exciting"?

Music
And even the most insulated frum people perceive frum music as so lacking that they need to spice it up by taking the worst of non-Jewish music and applying it to frum lyrics and Torah verses.

Holy niggunim crafted by tzaddikim “need” bass and synthesizer added to make them appealing to a frum audience today.

In fact, one of the hardest things to let go of for those Jewish children (and I mean those who remembered their love of Judaism and had grown up in committed Torah families) hidden in convents and monasteries during the Shoah were the songs and melodies of the idolatrous religious services.

Physical Beauty and Impressiveness
And is there a shul that rivals in physical beauty the Vatican or Eastern temples or the more exquisitely designed mosques?

Look at the Kotel remnant of our Beit Hamikdash: pigeons roosting among moss in its crevices, old lumpy stones speckled with erosion and bird-droppings…it’s still beautiful to me and to so many others, but to the physical eye, can it compare to what the other nations have?

In December, drive through the streets of America and look at a Jewish home with its Chanukiyah in the window next to the light-shows decorating the lawns and houses of the non-Jewish neighbors.
How many Jewish children have begged their parents to put up "Chanukah lights" ("Just blue and white lights, Mom and Dad! Pleeeease?") or begged for a tree?

Scents
And how many people find the smell of cigarettes, marijuana, perfume (with names like Poison or Opium or Obsession or Fantasy), and incense more alluring than the aroma of baking challahs and chocolate yeast cakes, simmering cholent, roses in a vase on the Shabbat table, or the Havdalah spice?
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With the Destruction of the Beit Hamikdash, pure and true spirituality went underground in a sense. Today, you have to dig for it.

Back in the time of the Beit Hamikdash, all you had to do was go there and you had something that was obviously better in every way than anything the nations had to offer.

(Not to mention the mere fact of its existence and operation contributed something to your spiritual efforts even if you were physically far from the Beit Hamikdash.)

Struggling to Grasp on to What Once Came So Easily

Today, we strive to give our hearts a boost by davening at the gravesites of holy tzaddikim, going to holy people for blessings, and going to the Kotel, the last standing remnant of the Beit Hamikdash.

But even with that, so much still depends on us working ourselves up to it.

Sometimes, a Jew visits a holy tzaddik and feels…nothing. A nice guy, to be sure, but nothing more than that.

I know of FFB Jews who heard about the holiness of and special experiences at the Kotel only to finally arrive there in person and feel…nothing. I myself would go visit holy gravesites, only to feel disappointed at feeling…nothing.

Now I feel more at gravesites, but nothing nearly as strong as what I feel at the Kotel. Interestingly, even though I still feel something special at the Kotel each time I go, it doesn’t compare to that initial wallop of spirituality and holiness I felt the first several times I went to the Kotel as a secular teenager completely immersed in a non-Jewish lifestyle.

My point is that even with the spiritual boosts we have today, there are no guarantees even if you really, really want that boost.
(Really, you should hear the disappointment saturating the voice of a Jew who really wanted what the Kotel had to offer, but just didn't feel anything. It's heartbreaking.)

Yet in the times of the Beit Hamikdash, all you had to do was want what it had to offer—and you got it. Guaranteed!

Today, you have to struggle SO HARD for every little drop of spiritual inspiration…and even then, your achievement within that exertion varies from moment to moment.

And even when you get it, how long can you maintain it?

And no matter how much you want it, not only can you not necessarily maintain it, you often can’t even get there at all.

(Fortunately, any spiritual effort reaps massive dividends in the Upper Realms even if you don't sense a darn thing down here.)

May our Beit Hamikdash be rebuilt and restored to its former glory speedily in our days.

What's the Message of the Erev Rav for Us on 17 Tammuz?

11/7/2017

The first tragic event to occur on the 17th of Tammuz was Moshe Rabbeinu breaking the first set of Tablets when he saw the Jewish Nation worshiping the Golden Calf.

(For a synopsis of the tragedy, please see What was the Golden Calf?)

How did the Jewish people go from the Divinely gifted exalted spiritual level necessary to receive the Torah in all its glory to worshiping an idol only 40 days later?

The Original Fake News and It's Twin: Fake Fear

Moshe Rabbeinu promised to be up on the mountain with Hashem for 40 days, after which he would return. The people miscalculated, so when Moshe Rabbeinu didn't come back on the 16th of Tammuz, they got worried.

Or did they?

It was actually the Erev Rav who got worried...but not for the reasons you might think.

Well aware that Hashem objected to their presence and that it was Moshe Rabbeinu who allowed them to join along, the Erev Rav feared that without Moshe Rabbeinu, they'd be kicked out by Hashem (as if Hashem couldn't just kick them out if He chose to).

This is why the Erev Rav felt they needed to create a new leader, and to do it on the double.

So they sounded an alarm of sorts that affected the emuna of the Jews. In addition, the satan (a prosecuting angel) adjusted nature to provide a gloomy atmosphere. And rather than taking an emuna-driven "Let's wait and see" approach of yishuv hadaat, the true Jews of Yisrael got sucked into the Erev Rav fear.

Important Note:

The Jews NEVER had anything to fear.
They were beloved to Hashem.
So even if something had happened to Moshe Rabbeinu, Hashem would still take care of Yisrael as a mother cares for her newborn baby.
It was the Erev Rav who stood to lose out if Moshe Rabbeinu didn't return.
The Jews would have been fine all along NO MATTER WHAT.

In other words, the Jews panicked for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
And that was their first mistake.

The Importance of Daat Torah

Before he left, Moshe Rabbeinu told the Elders:
"Wait for us here until we return to you, and here Aharon and Chur are with you; whoever has a case, let him go to them."

So at this point, the Jews consulted with Chur, the son of Miriam Haneviah and Kalev ben Yafuneh.
Apparently, Chur told them in no uncertain terms that they didn't need any new leader and were forbidden from doing so.
So they killed him.

Okay, let's look at this for a minute.

Back then, the Erev Rav was obvious. They even looked different to the point that the Moavites could differentiate between Erev Rav and Yisrael.

Also, these Erev Rav people were NOT descended from the Avot and Imahot. And the Jews KNEW this. So why did they listen to the Erev Rav over their own leader (appointed by Moshe Rabbeinu himself), a leader who had proven himself time and again?
(See here for a brief and impressive bio of Chur.)

Picture the scene for a moment:

You've got these clearly non-Jewish-looking people talking to you in either Egyptian-accented Hebrew or in Egyptian itself,
people whom you know aren't really a part of you
and whom you know aren't even wanted by Hashem

...and you decide to listen to them over the daat Torah approved by the greatest prophet who has ever and would ever live?

What on Earth were the Jews thinking?
(For more details please see the Kli Yakar on Parshat Ki Tisa and scroll down past the chelbana.)

The Original Cult Leader

Okay, remember:
This whole thing started out as a quest to create a leader.
Not an idol and not a cult, but simply a new leader.

And the Erev Rav probably didn't seem so bad.
They probably just seemed pro-active. Take charge!-types. Self-empowering.
Maybe they even seemed caring and inspirational.
Maybe they conducted promotional self-empowerment seminars.

Yet the Erev Rav, being steeped in Egyptian ways, wanted to be led by the stars, which is why a calf representing the Taurus constellation popped out. In fact, they assumed that Moshe Rabbeinu's power derived from some kind of star-image, and not from his own inner work and holiness.

Of course, the Jewish women resisted handing over the jewelry for the dastardly deed, but the men insisted and the calf was made.

Once the idol was created, the Jews should have immediately realized what they were getting into. After all, bovine-shaped idols were all the rage in that part of the world for millennia. It's sort of like if an "Ephraimite" was leading everyone to what he claimed was a Chanukah party and then suddenly whipped out a cross right before the festivities started.

I mean, you know the guy is not Torah-true, and now he's waving this big cross around at the party. And you know that's not just some random giant "T" because Christians have been using that symbol for the past 2000 years.

But what ensued next was a free-for-all that included debauchery, drugs and alcohol, adultery, and blasphemy.

At this point, viewing the scene from above, could you differentiate between the Erev Rav and the Bnei Yisrael?

Not really; they were all acting the same.

Perhaps if you looked carefully, you might notice that only certain people are orchestrating the whole event, and that those people look different than the participants. But overall, you would not be able to specify who was who according to behavior.

And upon seeing this, Moshe Rabbeinu smashed the Tablets.

And this is one of the reasons we mourn today.

Lessons from and about the Erev Rav

So what do we learn from this?

The Erev Rav think only about themselves, which also means they are obsessed with aligning themselves to whoever seems most powerful and they are obsessed with materialism.
For their own self-interests, they will do whatever they can to get an authentic Yisrael WHO HAS NO REASON TO FEAR all riled up with anxiety and fear over an outcome that affects the Erev Rav ONLY.
Erev Rav motivations are very different than Jewish motivations, although Erev Rav will speak to Jews in a "Jewish" language, if you get my drift.
This panic discourages authentic Jews from listening to tested-and-true daat Torah.

There are other lessons, but that's all I can think of for now.

Signs that You May be Suffering under the "Erev Rav Effect"

So what can we do about it?

Are you Erev Rav?
Are you a Yisrael caught up in an Erev Rav fiesta?
Are you a Yisrael with Erev Rav sparks pricking about your holy Jewish soul?

You can't really know.

But what you CAN do is take a step back from it all, especially at the following times:

Are you feeling panicked?
Are you feeling desperate?
Are you feeling like "Move, move, move!" or "Do, do, do!"?
Are you willing to latch on to anyone or anything who seems to promise security and leadership?
Are you listening to the silver-tongued voices of people who obviously aren't the real deal while dismissing authentic daat Torah? (And I mean REAL daat Torah; not every Orthodox rabbi is daat Torah!)
Are you blindly assuming the other cares about the same things you do, when much of what they say or do actually points to a completely different motive?
Do you want to contemplate issues and situations before acting, but you have people around you (or even a voice within yourself), pressuring you to just jump into the frenzy without another thought?
When you want to discuss real issues of emunah and serving Hashem and genuine Torah observance, are you ever waved off, rejected, mocked, or even attacked? (You might even do this to yourself.)
Are you tempted to follow people who couldn't possibly have the answers because they don't possess your Jewish tradition and yichus?
Do you see people insisting that you follow them when you clearly see they're holding up a well-known and forbidden idol...but you're caught up in your fear and peer pressure, and anyway, they've got such convincing reasons for what they're doing?

Erev Rav Alert! The above is the effect of Erev Rav on a Yisrael.

And it's a sign to take a step back from it all and inquire of Hashem.

How to Deal with the "Erev Rav Effect"

Our times are different and the Erev Rav no longer look they way they once did.

Remember, at the time they were actually worshiping the Golden Calf, the Erev Rav and Bnei Yisrael were behaving exactly the same.

A Reform rabbi holding up a cross at a Chanukah party can still possess a soul of Yisrael.

They only real way to deal with it is via yishuv hadaat - taking a step back and asking:

"What's really going on here?"
"Is this the Torah way? If so, where is it written?"
"Where is Hashem in all this?"
"What does He think?"
"What does He want?"
"Okay, Hashem...tell me what to do!"

Why couldn't Bnei Yisrael have told the Erev Rav, "Wait a minute, Hashem's in charge. Let's give it another day and see"?

Why couldn't they have listened to Chur?

And even at the point that the calf appeared, could they not have said, "Whoa! Wait just one second here! Hmm... I'm going to step out and do some hitbodedut before I do anything else."

They could have taken a step away from everyone and engaged in conversation with Hashem at any point during the ride. Even after they'd killed Chur, they still could've stopped the madness. They still could have turned to Hashem.

And THAT would've saved them.

So don't give up.

Even if you find yourself swept up in a crowd led by Erev Rav after your real leader has been murdered and your other true leader has gone undercover...and even when you're faced with a clear symbol of everything that's wrong with the world and you're all hyped up to worship it with the basest human behaviors...

STEP BACK. And talk to Hashem.

It's not too late. Even if the Erev Rav stuff seems to be a part of you, don't give up.

Just turn to Hashem and don't repeat the mistake of the first Seventeenth of Tammuz.

We mourn it in order to rectify it. And we can!

Getting the Right Answer to the Most Pressing Problems

23/5/2017

Listening to a recent Rabbi Wallerstein shiur, It’s Black Friday Every Day, I was struck by what Rav Kanievsky said during Rabbi Wallerstein’s most recent visit to Eretz Yisrael.

(In this same class, Rabbi Wallerstein also taught a profound lesson on commitment from Ruth and Boaz and brought down a fascinating story from the Kav Hayashar regarding the Ramban.)

But first, Rabbi Wallerstein spoke about the tradition of a chatan/groom and kallah/bride to exchange gifts.

Showing How Much You Both Care

When Hashem “married” Am Yisrael on Shavuot, Hashem gave us the Torah.

And He "remarries" us, so to speak, every year again on Shavuot.

But what do we, the kallah, bring?

“The biggest present you can bring to God is to break your nature for Him.”

Then Rabbi Wallerstein offered suggestions, like a man could come to daven ten minutes early or a woman could light candles ten minutes before Shabbat.

(He heard this recommendation straight from Rav Kanievsky’s daughter at 41:45 in the class. She insisted that any female who lit Shabbat candles 10 minutes early would see miracles. You’re anyway supposed to light no later than 18 minutes before sunset, so it’s not clear to me whether she meant 10 minutes before the 18-minute mark, making candle-lighting 28 minutes before sunset.)

Anyone who works should leave work earlier than usual on Fridays (and make it up during the week).
Really, Rabbi Wallerstein said in the name of Chazal, it’s preferable to stop work by the earliest Mincha/Afternoon Prayer.

Of course, these are just suggestions. You can pick something that for you individually would be a very powerful gift to present to Hashem on Shavuot.

The Advice of a Real Gadol

Then Rabbi Wallerstein went to speak with Rav Chaim Kanievsky (43:15) and Rabbi Wallerstein said:

Listen, I work in kiruv with kids. If the gadol hador could tell me one ingredient to use to really be successful in kiruv, Rav Chaim, what would you say?

And he didn’t answer me right away. He sat there for a moment. And he says…"Tefillah."

“Tefillah?”

“Yeah. Get the person’s name—the mother’s name and the person’s name—and daven for them." That will do more than any speech or anything else.

Look, I thought he was going to say, "LOVE! Keep the door open!" You know, everything that’s very hot in kiruv…so I’m asking him…should we go to seminars? Should we go to projects and zachen and meises? Should we become kiruv professionals? You know…should we read books? Should we go to therapy?...What? What is it?

And he blew me away! Because it wasn’t the answer I expected. He’s like, "Get their name…and daven for them."

It wasn’t the answer I wanted either. Right? I wanted some, like, "boutique" answer.

And then Rabbi Wallerstein spoke in favor of the real power of prayer, displaying this power via some compelling true stories.

How to Stop Juggling Bowling Balls

Anyway, I could totally relate to his initial desire for a "boutique" answer. In some ways, pouring out your heart to Hashem for even only 5 minutes can seem more difficult, repetitive, and boring than acting upon a “boutique” recommendation.

It seems that way…until you actually do it.

Okay, sure, if you think (like how I used to think) that davening is mouthing words (with or without kavanah) or just saying, “Please bring my daughter back to Torah and mitzvos” 100 times, then yes, that feels like nothing.

(Although even such tepid prayer still adds up at the end of the day.)

But when you really just sit down with God and start talking to Him, thanking Him for this opportunity, gushing to Him about how grateful you are that He’s so Available because for human officials, you need an appointment and the right appearance and certain courtesies…but with God, you can just sit down in your pajamas and start talking - well, that comes out in your own words from your heart.

And He really listens! He doesn’t just pretend like human officials often do.

And then you can talk about about how pained you are about the spiritual state of your child or yourself or your family member or your friend or that of the Nation as a whole.

And once you’ve gotten yourself worked up into that state, you can really beg from your heart for positive change and mercy.

And going back to what Rabbi Wallerstein mentioned before about the importance of breaking your nature, which is a way to do teshuvah and improve yourself, you can ask Hashem about what message He wants to give you or what you think you need to work on.

It’s not boring or repetitive or by rote.

Is it difficult? Kind of, yes—but kind of not.

It’s often very fulfilling. It's often cathartic in the healthiest way.

But most of all, it’s effective.

I have the same yetzer hara as anyone else in that I’ll feel like physically doing something or going somewhere is more effective and more “real” than sitting on a bed and emoting.

I call this kind of physical hishtadlut “juggling bowling balls.”

You exhaust yourself to keep all those big heavy balls in the air and feel like you’re doing something. People may even praise you for your strength and coordination, and you may secretly pride yourself on your accomplished juggling—such mesirut nefesh!

But the second you glance away or your arm weakens a tad, the balls come crashing down, causing injury to yourself and others.

Because those hard, giant balls came crashing down on me so hard so many times, it’s generally easy for me to shove the "boutique" answers aside and focus on prayer.

I mean, Hashem really slammed me with those bowling balls until I finally—finally!—got the message loud and clear.

And thank God. Because I see people who don’t get the message and who not only keep juggling, but also keep adding more and more bowling balls to the act (which is what I did too).

And their lives are a mess and just keep getting messier. (Just like mine did.)

Okay, my life isn’t so neat now either. But it used to be MUCH worse.

And even more wondrous, I'm often even happy.

And this is what Rav Kanievsky said. Not learning 2 halachot a day or a daf (although these are very important and necessary), not making sure you give 3 positives for every negative, not any specific "shitah"...

...just good old-fashioned bare-bones tefillah.

******************
Because words taken out of context, especially in transcript, can come off very differently than when you actually hear them directly from the speaker within the context of the entire class, I strongly recommend you go to Torah Anytime and listen to the shiur yourself:
https://www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=42722

Pesach Insights and Divrei Torah from the Kli Yakar

5/4/2017

If you're looking for Kli Yakar insights for Pesach, here are two posts:

Winning the Battles against Ourselves and the Stars

Insights into The Son Who Does Not Know to Ask of the Passover Haggadah

Chag Pesach kasher v'sameach! Have a kosher and happy Passover!

Authentic Moroccan Pesach Seder Soup

15/3/2017

When you grow up Ashkenazi lite and marry a religious Moroccan, there are many tradition-based surprises in store. For example, I was disappointed that Moroccans are one of the only Sephardi groups who DON'T eat most kiniot (legumes) on Pesach (Passover).

No rice, no corn, no garbanzo beans, no soy oil, and so on. However, they do eat certain kinds of fresh legumes like:

Green beans
Yellow beans
String beans
Peas
Fava beans

—as long as they’re fresh and not dried.

Fava beans, also known as broad beans, and called fulim (FOOL-eem) in Hebrew, play a starring role in Moroccan Pesach meals. (For example, Moroccan Pesach cholent includes fulim that have only been shelled once, which is what you get when you buy a bag of frozen fulim in the freezer section in Israel.)

This isn't the Moroccan Pesach soup, but it looks very similar to how the soup turns out.

After discovering that I really never will eat rice on Pesach, I then discovered that Moroccans have a traditional soup served at the Seder (the first night of Pesach in Eretz Yisrael, the first 2 nights of Pesach everywhere else) that has absolutely nothing to do with chicken (or matzah balls, for that matter).

My initial reaction to the thought of eating boiled cabbage instead of chicken soup with lots of fluffy matzah balls was “Yuck!”

But upon tasting this traditional Moroccan soup of fulim and cabbage, my reaction immediately transformed into “YUM!”

I also fell in love with fulim.

Fresh fulim pods

The ful bean is an absolutely delicious bean that doesn’t provoke any embarrassing digestive reactions later. Now, every time I read an article on fulim, it always mentions how some people are allergic to this bean. I have never personally encountered someone with a fulim sensitivity, but I guess you’re supposed to warn people anyway.

So there you go.

This is an incredibly healthy soup, as you’ll soon see.
It’s also low-gluten (or possibly gluten-free?) and low-carb.
Feel free to make this during the year if your custom forbids you to eat fulim on Pesach.

My mother-in-law (who grew up in Tafilalt and moved to Meknes to marry and birth her first 3 children—including my husband) taught me how to make it.

The exact amounts depend on the size of your pot and your personal taste. We always use a huge pot for this because everyone loves it so much.

The time-consuming part is preparing the fulim. Initially, I thought it was impractical to shell mounds of fulim Erev Pesach. Who has time or energy for that? But believe me, it really is worth it. Originally, Moroccan women finished their Pesech cleaning in a timely fashion and then sat down together the morning of Erev Pesach to shell out all the fulim. (Remember, you had large homes and several guests and/or multi-generational families back in Morocco, so you had a bunch of sisters, grandmothers, mothers, and daughters available for copious social fulim-shelling.) My sons help me, but they don't have the same dedication and patience for it that my mother-in-law and I have. So when I don’t have Moroccan females on hand, I start preparing the fulim the night before.
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This is an open fulim pod. As you can see, the fulim inside are inconveniently small. You need to look for pods with robust swollen-looking bumps, hopefully indicating large fulim inside.

These are fulim shelled out of their pod, but with the skin still on ("once-shelled fulim" as my mother-in-law would call them.) This is what goes into Moroccan Pesach cholent.

These are fulim with the skin peeled off ("twice-shelled fulim" as my mother-in-law would call them). This is what goes into the soup.

So here’s the recipe and variations will follow…
Note: Depending on your geographical location and what brand of cabbage you buy, you may need to rinse off each leaf and check for bugs. Ditto with using cilantro/coriander/kusbara.

Ingredients

A head or two of white (i.e. light green) cabbage
1 generous handful of cilantro/coriander/kusbara
1.5 kilos/3 lbs. of fresh fulim pods, as plump as you can find—indicating that the beans inside are extremely plump and large. (You should be able to get them at any shuk in Eretz Yisrael at this time of year.)

Note #1: You can buy fulim frozen and shelled out of their pods in your local Israeli supermarket, but they are smaller, making it harder to peel off that second shell. Plus, you’ll need to thaw them completely before you start shelling them, or else you’ll end up with frozen fingers.
Note #2: Also, sometimes it happens that you buy pods with massively swollen bumps that hint at gargantuan fulim inside only to discover tiny fulim. This usually doesn't happen, but you may run into a couple of deceptive pods like this. Forewarned is forearmed! Just remember that this, too, is for the best!

Garlic cloves (as many as you like)
A couple of chunks or slices of red meat (or more if you like)
Your favorite Pesach oil (coconut is not recommended unless you like coconut-flavored cabbage)
Turmeric (as much as you need to get your desired taste and color)
Black or white pepper
Salt

Directions:

Using a sharp and large enough knife, slice the cabbage thinly.

(While you can use a food processor or shredder for this, I find that it makes them too thin and wispy, giving the soup a web-like texture in your mouth. But if you like that, then go for it.)

Toss all that cabbage in your pot.
Fill the pot with water to cover and then turn on the high heat.
When it will boils, turn the heat down to a merry simmer. (The cabbage needs to cook forever, so just start it cooking right away while you prepare everything else.)
Peel the garlic and then do whatever you like to do with garlic (i.e. leave it whole, slice it, mince it, halve it, or whatever) and toss that into the pot with the cabbage.
Mince the kusbara and toss that in.
Add the oil (however much or little you want)
Add the pieces of meat.
Add the spices.

Now get to work on the fulim:

Break open the pods and pop out the ful beans.

(My mother-in-law calls this “once-shelled fulim.”)
Now comes the patchky part.

You need to peel this soft “shell” off of them, too.

(My mother-in-law calls these “twice-shelled fulim.”)
How?
Dig in your fingernail and just scrape or peel the soft shell off. Sometimes, you can even pop the fulim out of this second shell, depending.
The plumper and larger the fulim are, the easier this will be. (That’s why when you were shopping for fulim pods, you went after the plumpest looking ones.)

Once you have all your fulim peeled twice, then you can add them to the soup.

(You will be shocked and maybe even dismayed at how few fulim there are compared to the massive amount of pods you bought. That's okay. It's all part of the process.)

Let the soup simmer forever (2-3 hours or more?), periodically checking to make sure there is enough water so it won’t burn.

The cabbage should be pretty soft. Yeah, cabbage never seems to get so soft, but it should be nice and limp.

And there you have it: your very own authentic Moroccan Pesach Seder Soup.

Variations:

You don't need to add the ingredients in the order given. For example, nothing bad will happen if you add the meat before the garlic or kusbara, or if you add the spices before the veggies and meat.
Add potatoes, either with or instead of the fulim. (In fact, if you can’t eat fulim on Pesach, just use this recipe with potatoes instead.)
Use parsley or dill instead of kusbara.
Go ahead and buy a bag of frozen fulim and use the fulim as is without shelling them a second time.
Use a different kind of meat (meatballs, chicken, etc.)
Omit the meat altogether to make a pareve vegetarian soup.
You can omit the oil.
You don’t have to use such a large amount of fresh kusbara.
You can use dried or powdered versions of the garlic and kusbara.
I suppose you could use saffron in place of turmeric. (Maybe that was even in the original recipe way back when!)
You don't need to start boiling the cabbage while you prepare everything else. You can also prepare everything first with the cabbage, then add the water and start cooking.
You can prepare the fulim in advance, either partly (by shelling them out of their pods) or completely (shelling them out of their pods, then peeling off the skin).
Fulim freeze nicely in both states of shelled-ness.
If you don't manage to use all the fulim you bought, you can freeze them (shelled or shelled and peeled) for later or to add to your Pesach cholent.

Enjoy!

Past Purim Posts to Get You into a Purim State of Mind

9/3/2017

Purim for Everyone Else: Sunday, March 12, 2017 (starts Saturday night after Shabbat)
Purim for Jerusalem: Monday, March 13, 2017 (starts Sunday night)
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A Lesson of the Kli Yakar from Megillat Esther
The Kli Yakar on Parshat Titzaveh goes into a whole thing about what we can learn regarding the angels' reaction to King Achashverosh's appalling blasphemy of eating and drinking from the vessels of the Beit Hamikdash while wearing the garments of the High Priest.
Please see How to Avoid being a Pathological Pollyanna. Then scroll down a little over halfway until you get to The Mountain of Sludge and start reading from there.

Joy and Light: A Purim Dictionary
On Purim, we especially emphasize joy and light.
One popular Purim melody (sung also in the weekly Havdalah) and taken from Megillat Esther 16:8 is:
לַיְּהוּדִים הָיְתָה אוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה וְשָׂשׂן וִיקָר
"Layehudim hayita ora v'simcha v'sasson viy'kar."
"For the Jews, there was light and joy, gladness and honor."
(Hebrew courtesy of Chabad's wonderful online source: The Complete Jewish Bible)

Throughout his commentary on Tanach, the Malbim provides definitions for all different types of words.

Ever wondered about the difference between "sasson" and "simcha"?
Or the difference between "ohr" and "noga"?
Or maybe you have a name that has always been defined as "joy" (like Aliza or Rina or Asher) or "light" (like Ora or Hila), and you'd like to know exactly what kind of joy or light it means?

Take a look at the Purim Dictionary to find out!
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*Purim is an auspicious day for bonding with Hashem and asking for whatever you wish. So don't forget to inundate God with your requests!

Wishing everyone a Purim full of tremendous light and joy!

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