Category: Chagim/Holidays - Myrtle Rising

AMAZING New Video from Rav Miller for Tisha B'Av, Plus Rav Avigdor Miller in Español.

7/8/2019

Toras Avigdor just came out with a special Tisha B'Av video of Rav Avigdor Miller explaining what this week and that day are all about.

And it's...WOW.

Just a couple of tidbits:
Thinking about the Churban means thinking about how we can strive for excellence.

Striving for excellence means loving ALL real talmidei chachamim EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT FROM "YOUR" GROUP.

Rav Miller acknowledges that some people feel a lot of zeal and think they have good reason to scoff at another group's Gadol, but DON'T.

Don't get into machloket with fellow frum Jews.
Stand behind your Rav.
Stand behind your Rebbe.
Stand behind your Rosh Yeshivah.
But DON'T let your loyalty toward your own group turn into disdain for another FRUM group!

He makes the excellent point that widely read non-Jewish newspapers and Jewish assimilationists relish machloket among frum Jews.

We've all seen how quickly a story about machloket between frum Jews makes it into the media.

Why don't we see that about Sikhs? Or Bhuddists? Or Hindus?

Even in Eretz Yisrael, where Yishmaelite machloket gets REALLY out of hand, the secular Israeli either doesn't publish it or they write about in a way that makes you think they're regular Israelis, when it was, say, a Yishmaelite honor killing.

But FRUM machloket? Oh, man...they really rev up for that.

Rav Miller also discusses real ahavat Yisrael in a way I hadn't heard before.

So please click the following to see this powerful video:
https://torasavigdor.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Nine-Days-Video.mp4

Also, for any of you Spanish-speakers, I see that a Toras Avigdor Q&A is available in ESPAÑOL.

Please click here to download the Spanish PDF:
Toras Avigdor Español

I'm not sure exactly how to sign up for the Spanish, but you can contact them and ask (they're very pleasant & get back to you in a timely manner):
https://torasavigdor.org/contact/

Enjoy!

Rav Avigdor Miller on Making Ma'amad Har Sinai Real & Relevant (including tips on how to REALLY utilize da'as Torah, plus some healthy rebuke for writers & podcasters)

6/6/2019

Rav Miller’s dvar Torah on Parshat Bamidbar: Forever at Har Sinai arrived in my inbox this morning.

And even though that’s not the parsha for Eretz Yisrael right now (we’re on Parshat Nasso), it vital reading for Shavuot because it’s all about Shavuot.

(Note: If you're in Eretz Yisrael, you can contact them to receive your weekly parsha: ey@torasavigdor.org. They also have a well-done Junior supplement alongside the dvar Torah. If you work with children and you need the Junior supplement earlier in the week or you need it in Yiddish, you can contact them: info@torasavigdor.org.)

Envisioning Ma'amad Har Sinai

Elishama & Ephraim at Ma'amad Har Sinai!

The Kav Hayashar states that upon waking in the morning, one should envision the Giving of the Torah at Har Sinai in his head, and with that powerful imagery, you should then say, “Modeh ani.”

That’s quite a way to start the morning!

I don’t know about you, but envisioning Ma’amad Har Sinai is difficult for me and so it ends up with the colorful illustrations from the children’s book, Elishama & Ephraim at Ma’amad Har Sinai.

(This is a wonderful book from a wonderful series, by the way.)

Anyway, reading Rav Miller’s dvar Torah for Parshat Bamidbar helps a lot with envisioning Ma’amad Har Sinai.

The Right Way to Elicit Daas Torah

Rav Miller also delves into the importance of asking real da’as Torah, in addition to addressing the confusions people have about daas Torah.

For example, there is a difference between sketching out a whole plan to show a talmid chacham and THEN asking for his approval, in contrast to asking him an open-ended question (“What should I do?”) before you even start.

People like to say they have haskamos from big people, but there is a difference between consulting a talmid chacham beforehand and requesting cursory approval after the fact.

So Rav Miller delves into that a bit, providing helpful clarification to those of us who don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes.

He emphasizes the fact that people don’t ask gedolim regarding, say, what school is best for your child. (And to be forthright, we didn’t think to do that either.)

But I have a friend who did.

Admission Woes with a Happy Ending

My friend was a Sephardi chutznikit who couldn’t get her son into neither the Sephardi schools nor the Ashkenazi schools in her area.

And even though she was downhearted and frustrated about the whole issue, rather than railing about discrimination and religious hypocrisy, she decided to go to one of Israel’s English-speaking Sages, Rav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg ztz"l, instead.

He was sympathetic and pleasantly asked her if she would consider the Chabad school in her area? (Please note that he did not command her to do so, but asked her.)

His answer surprised her. For some reason, she hadn’t considered Chabad, despite the fact that she’d attended Chabad summer camps and shuls as a child and held warm fuzzy feelings toward Chabad.

“Yes, I would,” she answered.

Then he pleasantly suggested that she try them and see how it goes.

Chabad easily accepted her son and as the family developed over time, I saw that it was best for her children there, rather than in the other schools in the area.

And even though at the outset, it looked like the mainstream Ashkenazi and Sephardi schools were nitpicking at the family (a family which actually had some chashivut in her country of origin), it was actually Hashem’s way of ensuring that her children received the chinuch best for them.

And if you’re wondering how a Mirrer Litvak like Rav Scheinberg could recommend a school of Lubavitcher chassidus to a Sephardi family, I’d just point out that real gedolim genuinely care about Jewish children and their chinuch, and also someone on his level totally lacks sinat chinam. So there you go.

Personal Greatness vs Intellectual Greatness

Also, the dvar Torah ends with a Q&A, where Rav Miller is asked: How are we to determine which talmid chochom has the right Torah attitudes in order to attach ourselves to the right person? And if he has wrong Torah attitudes what should we do about it?

It’s not the first time he has addressed this issue. (Please see Which Rabbi Should I Listen To? and More Tips on How to Recognize a Real Gadol Hador for more.)

And he’s one of the only people I’ve seen do so.

It’s really important because sometimes you can meet a rabbi who, on the surface, seems to fit the description of a talmid chacham—but really, he’s not personally great.

Some people possess brilliant intellect and if they weren’t frum, they’d be esteemed professors of philosophy at some hotshot university, or they’d be part of an elitist think tank, and so on.

So they have the Gemara in their head, but not necessarily their heart.

Internalizing the Jewish concepts you learn is a real avodah incumbent upon every Jew, as Rav Miller frequently emphasizes.

Incompetent Writers, Half-Baked Torah Scholars, and Self-Declared Authorities...Oh, My!

Finally, Rav Miller gives major criticism regarding Jewish media. At the time of his constructive rebuke, there was only print media, no blogs.

But it’s definitely giving me food for thought because I believe his critique applies equally to bloggers.

Here’s Rav Miller:

In the newspapers today, the Jewish newspapers, there are people who are incompetent; writers, half-baked Torah scholars, self-declared authorities, who answer every kind of question.

Some are dangerous questions, things that could not be discussed in public without harm; things that need a great deal of deliberation.

And anybody with a typewriter rushes in where gedolim fear to tread, and they not only offer their opinions, but they publicize them with fanfare, as valid Torah opinions.

Almost every newspaper has a page--sometimes more than one page—for every ploni almoni to give his opinion.

Who cares what he thinks?! Did he learn Mesillas Yesharim many times?! Did he learn the Chovos Halevavos from cover to cover? Sha’arei Teshuva l’Rabeinu Yonah? The Rambam Hilchos Teshuva? Who are you to voice an opinion b’rabim?

It’s only the Voice of Hashem that we care about—the Voice we heard at Har Sinai--the same Voice that Moshe Rabeinu heard in the Mishkan, and the Voice that we continue to hear from the ba’alei hamesorah, the ones who pass down to us the Torah true attitudes and ideals--that’s the only Voice we want to hear.

Even if someone could quote one authority, but there are many others who may differ with that one sefer which he quotes.

If we would rely on an individual opinion, we would be in a sorry state. It’s only the gedolim who are able to collate the different opinions. They’re the ones who are competent to choose.

Many times, even when one opinion is intrinsically correct, but it has to be weighed carefully.

And it’s only those who have the fear of Har Sinai in them who can be trusted to make decisions--even those that do not seem significant—for Klal Yisroel.

“Anybody with a typewriter rushes in where gedolim fear to tread…”

I suppose that nowadays, it could read: “Anybody with a keyboard and an Internet connection…”

Or maybe: "Anybody with recording equipment and a YouTube account..."

May Hashem renew our days (and our souls!) as they were before.

Thank you to Toras Avigdor for all their hafatzah and permission.

2 Helpful Posts for Rosh Chodesh Iyar

5/5/2019

Please click this link to see: A Segulah & Prayer from the Chida for Iyar

And there's this important goodie:

Rav Avigdor Miller on Rosh Chodesh Iyar

Q:
What should I think about on Rosh Chodesh Iyar?

A:
You know, on Rosh Chodesh Nissan you were asking Hakodosh Boruch Hu, “Oy Hashem, please give us chayim and chayim and chayim.” We’re worried every Rosh Chodesh; who knows what’s going to be. The people who passed away last month weren’t all expecting to go away.

Now, suppose someone would tell you, “My friend, I have a secret to tell you. I was listening in to the Beis Din Shel Ma’alah and they said that you’re going to get a whole month of life for the coming month.” Oh, what a happiness it would be! If someone would know for sure he’s going to live the whole month, it’s a happiness. A month of life is a gift. A month of life?! It’s diamonds.

Are we happy? Sure; that’s why we say Hallel. We’re wild with happiness. We lived a month already! We look back at the past month, the month of Nissan - all the hachonos for Pesach, and then the whole Yom Tov, and then after Yom Tov - we were busy all month and now the month came to an end. Boruch Hashem, no big troubles came during the month. So what’s the question?! It’s a happiness, certainly it’s a happiness. It’s the happiness of being alive.

And now we ask Hashem for the next month in ya’aleh v’yavo. I want to tell you something. Hakodosh Boruch Hu says, “You’re asking for another month? It depends on how your attitude was to the past month. Did you appreciate the month of Nissan? Were you thanking Me for the past month? No, you’re coming to Me ungrateful, not thanking Me - ‘I want another month!’ What kind of business is that?!”

First you have to say to Hashem: “Hodu lashem ki tov ki l’olam chasdo,” in Hallel. “We thank You Hashem, how good you were to us this past month. Now please give us another month.” “Oh,” Hashem says. “That’s what I want to hear.” And if that’s the case so He’ll give us another month.

So therefore Rosh Chodesh in itself is the biggest gift; there’s nothing like chayim. Life is the biggest gift. The pashtus of what Rosh Chodesh means is enough for us to spend the day in gratitude to Hashem for having lived another month.

TAPE # E-106

(I got it early because I signed up to receive their emails, but this should appear on the Toras Avigdor site within a day or 2.)

FREE DOWNLOAD! Rav Avigdor Miller's Hagaddah: The Making of a Nation

18/4/2019

I just found out that Rav Miller's Hagaddah: The Making of a Nation, is available as a free PDF for everyone here:
https://torasavigdor.org/free-books/

Thank you very much to Toras Avigdor for their dedication to spreading Rav Avigdor Miller's Torah, and also for letting me know about the free Hagaddah.

Chag kasher v'sameach to everyone!

Looking for a Weekly Dose of Good Sense, Insight, and Torah Hashkafah?

18/4/2019

Recently, someone forwarded a short parsha newsletter to me.

It included some very practical life advice connected to the parsha, then featured a family-oriented Q&A at the end.

You might have heard of its author, Rabbi Shimon Gruen, because he also gives talks on Torahanytime.com. (Actually, I only realized after viewing his website that I'd watched a couple of shiurim of his on Torahanytime.com and found his shiur to be full of good sense, insight, and compassion. Very nice, indeed.)

Anyway, I found the newsletter content very "real" and the advice & mussar displayed uncommon perceptiveness, and I also felt the design and color-scheme of the newsletter very pleasant & readable.

To manually subscribe to his newsletter, send an email to this address:
parshalessons@lehair.org

For what it's worth, I'm unusually happy and impressed with his parsha newsletter. (And I generally avoid subscribing to things. But this newsletter is really well-done & not overwhelming.)

Also, this is Rabbi Gruen's website:
http://www.lehair.org/

(CORRECTION 19/4: Leha'ir mean "to illuminate" in English. As Rabbi Gruen says, his slogan is "to illuminate with clarity and understanding.")

No, I was not asked to blog about Rabbi Gruen or his website, but it's good Torah hashkafah I think others will find refreshing and beneficial.

If you want to check out a sample before you sign up, here's the Pesach issue:

Torah Lessons for the Home by Rabbi Shimon Gruen

What is the #1 Way to Facilitate a Kosher Pesach & Thus, a Kosher Year?

16/4/2019

On page 220 of the first volume of Words of Faith, we encounter Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender’s Talk #17: Pe-sach — Only Tefillah!

Pe: peh—mouth
Sach: sach—to channel in another direction (when spelled with a samech), to converse (when spelled with a sin)

So we see from this that Pesach is about a personal & verbal relationship with Hashem.

This makes sense because in the Torah's whole saga of slavery and redemption, Am Yisrael rouse Divine Mercy whenever they cried out to Hashem.

Rav Bender recalls the Ari’s promise that whoever is careful from a little bit of chametz on Pesach is guaranteed not to sin the whole year.

And Rav Bender stresses that if we really want to achieve this, it can only happen through tefillah.

There are 2 advantages to doing this:

Via tefillah, we are saved from mistakes—unintentional chametz. (For example, after davening to be saved from chametz, you find yourself cleaning something you’d overlooked in years past and seeing chametz or possible chametz.)

You merit to be saved from chametz by attaining it through the highest means possible: tefillah.

Like Elul, Nissan is a month of teshuvah.

Elul is teshuvah from reverence.

Nissan is teshuvah from love.

I’m not the only one to notice that a lot of kaparahs happen during Nissan leading up to Pesach.

Sometimes, it’s hard to see them because it looks like part of Pesach stress, but closer introspection often reveals something similar to what happens to you in Elul.

The Elul-Nissan Connection

Rav Bender quotes Rebbe Baruch of Medzibuz, an uncle of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, by comparing Elul preparations to Nissan preparations.

In Elul & the 10 Days of Repentance, Jews are busy with fasting and repentance.

In Nissan, says Rebbe Baruch, Jews are “busy with preparing geese and fat ducks, fish, and eggs for the sake of the festive banquet” (Leil HaSeder).

If only we would switch the order, says Rebbe Baruch, and do in Nissan what we do in Elul, and repent and pray to be saved from a little bit of chametz on Pesach, then we would be sure not to sin the entire year, and THEN we wouldn’t need the fasts and mortification of Elul & the 10 Days of Repentance because we never sinned. (Yay!)

Rav Bender emphasizes the importance of tefillah in Nissan, especially in the days leading up to Pesach when it is hardest to find extra time for prayer.

“All beginnings are difficult,” he acknowledges as he encourages us to do our best.

You can also talk to Hashem while you’re scrubbing or sweeping or making charoset.

You can thank Hashem and force yourself to smile at least for a millisecond even when you’re stressed out.

Let's finish off with Rav Bender's final words on the topic on page 223:

Adar and Nissan are two months that a person has to make a special soul-accounting.
...

There are many types of work to do for Pesach. To get rid of chametz and other important work for the holiday.

But make sure to also give tefillah an honorable spot. Without this, it is not only half of something — if it is lacking tefillah, it is lacking the main thing.

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Metzora

11/4/2019

As usual, Rav Miller's dvar Torah on Parshat Metzora: The Aristocratic Home (which, as always, could not come about without the efforts & permission of Toras Avigdor) is one long & vividly detailed list of gratitude -- this time, gratitude for the chessed of living in a house.

With vivid descriptions and bring-a-smile-to-your-face wit, Rav Miller brings house-appreciation to life: walls, roofs, indoor plumbing...it's all a wonderful gift!

Yet as always, Rav Miller remains balanced even within his gratitude (which is actually also a part of gratitude).

For example, upon caught in falling snow, Rav Miller's walking companion takes a gratitude-attitude toward the snow by declaring "Snow is like ice cream!"

It is. Add sugar and flavoring, and you've got a ready-made sno-cone.

Rav Miller approves of his companion's comment, yet makes the following observation:

“You are correct, that’s a wonderful idea - but ice cream in your ears is not comfortable.”

We appreciate the snow, but we appreciate umbrellas too! So we’ll stand on this side of the wall and we’ll enjoy the rain and snow and cold. Of course, we enjoy it; but we don’t have to dive into it.

Being caught unprepared in falling snow (especially if it's wet) has its positive aspects because everything Hashem does is for the best.

But we needn't lie to ourselves and pretend that something uncomfortable is comfortable.

And we can use that honest observation for even more gratitude:
Thank God we have a home to go to where we can enjoy the snow in a protected environment!

Home, Sweet Home!

And a shiur on the value of a home isn't complete without emphasizing that the home is the place where we should be on our best behavior, not our worst behavior.

(He presents the Telzer Rav's exemplary behavior at home as an example.)

And here's some practical advice to meet this lofty goal:

And therefore in a Jewish home it is of utmost importance to live up to the idea that we are bnei melachim [children of kings].

Before every move made in the home, they consult in their minds the model supplied by the awareness of their royalty; what they think royalty would do in such a case.

A man and woman in the home should always be thinking: “What are the royal manners and the aristocratic ideals that should reign in the Jewish home?”

Of course, we are all human beings and we can’t imagine that we will succeed in one fell swoop, but we have to always be aware of the perfection we are striving for.

And it is those homes where this is kept in mind always that will never have to be plagued by the warning and lessons of tzara’as.

He elaborates on this concept and how to fulfill this ideal at length, which gives me quite a lot of food for thought.

Raising Children to Love Judaism

But Rav Miller is always a realist.

He knows that the internalization of Jewish values doesn't happen in one go.

Chinuch is about a steady drip-drip-drip of Torah hashkafah against our hearts of stone.

Children don't respond as you'd wish.

But the seed of the idea has been planted.

As Rav Miller describes:

Sit down and talk for a couple of minutes about yomtiv [a Jewish holiday]; tell the children, “Let’s sing the song Atah Bichartanu, or a different niggun.”

And then say, suggest to them, “Kids, aren’t we having a good time, kinderlach?”

And they all chime in, “Yes. Now let’s go to the zoo!”

But that’s excellent - you accomplished your mission! Because those few minutes have laid a foundation.

Rav Miller went out of his way to make Jewish holidays and rituals exciting, not just for his own children, but for his grandchildren and even the neighbors' children.

Rav Miller's dvar Torah gives several examples, but my favorite is adding chocolate to the search for chametz Erev Pesach.

Tefillah: A Woman's True Tafkid

Rav Miller emphasizes the importance of women's prayers:

The home should be a place of tefillah and it is the mother who must present herself as the symbol of prayer, the model of tefilah for the Am Yisroel.

Now, she can’t stand and pray long prayers; she’s busy with a lot of things in the house.

But the mother must be a mother of prayer.

Our mothers always prayed a great deal; a Jewish mother should pray even more than a man prays...A Jewish mother in the home should be turning to Hashem all day long.

The old-time Jewish women had a handbook of prayers - prayers for everything, for every kind of eventuality. She would be praying for help in the home, that her supper should come out tasting delicious. Or for a child who is not well and for a child who is not going exactly on the straight path.

Today too, a mother prays constantly that the washing machine shouldn’t break down, that her husband should earn a livelihood, that he should find favor in the eyes of his boss and get a raise.

So besides the fact that immediately, the first thing in the morning when the children wake up, they hear, “Abba is davening in shul; Abba’s learning.”

The children are always asking, “Did Totty come back from shul yet?”

And the mother tells them, “Totty is in shul talking to Hashem; he’ll be home soon.”

That’s how the Jewish home starts out every day, but besides for that, the mother spends the rest of the day absorbed in speaking to Hashem about everything.

And here's some lost but precious advice:

In the olden days the Jewish mother actually was a symbol of prayer even more than the husband; it’s something that’s forgotten today but that is one of the greatest achievements in a Jewish home.

A Jewish mother should always be praying and the children who grow up with that know that their house is a home where Hashem resides.

The aristocratic Jewish home actually became a Beis Hamikdash.

What is the Worst Thing a Parent or Spouse Can Do?

And here is a key warning:

Complaining is one of the forms of breaking down a home.

Even if there is no quarrel between husband and wife and even if the children are behaving and are loyal, if there is a complaining person in the house – if the mother or father complain frequently – then the morale in the house is broken.

You cannot have a successful home, even a non-Jewish home, if there is complaining.

This really spoke to me because I knew a family that looks wonderful and everyone comments on how aidel and refined the parents are, and the kids all went to respected Yiddish schools that turn out solid chassidish alumni, yet 2 kids seem mostly off-the-derech. The mother is very calm and consistent and lives by emuna.

The parents seem to get along just fine.

Yet one boy goes without his kippah & smokes pot while his sister smokes cigarettes and wears jeans downtown at night.

Everyone was mystified that this couple has 2 children acting out in this manner.

Yet quite by accident, I overheard their father kvetching in such a pathetic whiny way to his wife. His wife tried to respond with pleasant grace, but he insisted on whining and then she just fixed her face into a smile without responding further, except for a pleasant repetition of: "Hmm. Well, I don't know. Mm. I don't know."

I was shocked because what was the father complaining about? An acquaintance had given him a big compliment, a big thank-you and verbal gesture of appreciation and honor. And the father was dissecting it for negativity. "What did he mean by that? But what did he say it like THAT? I mean, was he thinking this-or-this? What was it? But what did he mean exactly? I don't get it."

In addition to verbally pummeling his wife in this manner (she couldn't reassure him enough and the husband irrationally refused to accept her logical and true interpretation of the complimentary words), it's intolerable to live with a person who cannot deal with even the most positive behavior without shredding it apart for negativity.

Such people can suck out any vitality or meaning to life.

Success Needs Planning

This isn't the end of the dvar Torah, but I'll just end the post with a final quote from Rav Miller:

But to be a success, needs planning.

And don’t think it’s not going to repay you.

The happiness, the satisfaction of a successful day in the house is a reward without end.

It’s a reward in this world and it’s a reward forever and ever in Olam Haba.

Shabbat: The Mind-Transforming Gold Mine

28/2/2019

One of the most important things to remember about Shabbat is that it is an undeserved gift of unfathomable worth.

The angels actually protested to Hashem against giving us Shabbat.

They said we wouldn't appreciate it properly.

And for the majority of our people today, the angels have unfortunately been proven right.

But there is still the priceless minority who DO appreciate Shabbat — and want to appreciate it even more!

How to REALLY Appreciate Shabbat

There is a lot of work entailed for Shabbat. Some of it is grunge work. If you can afford it, you can pay someone else to do it for you.

But if you can't?

In Parshat Vayakhel - Building the Shabbos Home, Rav Avigdor Miller emphasizes that it's similar to a diamond merchant who is seen carefully sweeping the dust off the floor under his work table.

Why is he doing such menial work and doing so with such care?

"This is diamond dust!" says the sweeping diamond merchant. “And therefore it’s worth my while to sit on my knees and collect dust that comes from diamonds.”

Here's one of the amazing (yet imperceptible to most people) events that occurs on Shabbat:

When we stand up in Shemoneh Esrei and in Kiddush and say [or hear someone else say], "Vayechulu haShamayim v'ha'aretz v'chol tzeva'am — The heavens and the earth and all their hosts were finished at the end of six days,” to our surprise it’s such an important declaration that the Gemara (Shabbos 119b) says: "B'sha'ah sheh omer 'Vayichulu' — “At that time when a person says Vayichulu, shnei malachei hasharet hamelavin lo l'adam, so two angels come — manichin yadeihem al rosho, and they put their hands on this man’s head. V'omrim lo, and they say to him, V'sar avonecha v'chotecha yechupar, Your iniquity will depart and your sins will be forgiven.”

What Came Before "Beresheit"?

We hear about the concept of Beresheit—In the beginning—so much, that we don't think more deeply about the real meaning of it.

"The Universe was created ex nihilo!"

"There was absolutely nothing before Hashem created the Universe!"

How many times have you heard all that?

Yet was does that really mean?

Rav Avigdor Miller explains:

Now this is a startling idea that has no equal; here the Torah tells us a statement which is so revolutionary that it has no equal in all the statements and writings since the beginning of time.

And never again will another statement be made that has the same impact.

And that is that Hashem created from nothing.

***

But when you say Vayichulu, you’re declaring that there were no building blocks in the beginning, that the world was created out of nothing. Before Bereishis, nothing existed. There was no Big Bang, and there was no Little Bang. There were no black holes and no explosions of stars.

There was nothing to explode. There was zero.

Nothing at all existed except for the ruach Elokim, the spirit of Hashem which pervaded all
space — I don’t want to say space because there was no space yet — but Hashem pervaded All.

There was only Hashem and nothing else.

Can You Really Imagine "Nothing"?

The human mind can't really imagine "nothing."

When completely blind people are asked, "What do you see? Do you see darkness? Black?"

"No," they answer. "I see nothing. Not even black."

That's interesting because seeing people often describe blind people as living in darkness, but the truth is, they don't because they don't perceive even darkness.

To a sighted person, blind people live in visual darkness. But that's not how a blind-from-birth person perceives it. They simply do not see.

So could a blind person imagine "nothing"?

Visually, perhaps.

But "nothing" includes an absences of sound, scent, and everything else.

We just cannot imagine.

Table of Contents

This week's dvar Torah is bursting with all sorts of necessary and luscious insights:

how to REALLY keep Shabbat
Hashem's "Imagination" & how it works
how the science of matter has changed
how dvar Hashem can be both energy & material
how anger, anxiety, and excitement can harm one's physical eyes
the effect of the weekday on one's mental & spiritual eyesight and how Shabbat heals this effect
why saying Vayichulu last Shabbat can make the coming erev Shabbat more peaceful
how Vayichulu is like a mini-Yom Kippur every week
why being a frum cow is better than being a wicked cow, but how to avoid being a frum cow anyway

Parshat Vayakhel - Building the Shabbos Home

Enjoy!

(All quotes used with permission from Toras Avigdor.)

How to Use Erev Shabbat as Your Personal Guide to This World

15/1/2019

Most of us are familiar with the idea that Shabbat symbolizes the Word to Come while Erev Shabbat symbolizes This World.

As the children’s song goes:
“Mi sheh lo tarach b’Erev Shabbat—mah yochal? Mah yochal b’Shabbat?”
“He who didn’t toil during the eve of Shabbat—what will he eat? What will he eat on Shabbat?”

Of course, it’s not originally a children’s song.

Talmud Avodah Zarah 3a states: “He who didn’t toil during the eve of Shabbat—from where shall he eat on Shabbat?”

(And the phrase prior to that states: “Mi sheh tarach b’Erev Shabbat yochal b’Shabbat—He who toiled during the eve of Shabbat will eat on Shabbat”—it’s a promise.)

The well-known symbolism is the promise that whoever toils in This World to prepare for the World to Come will enjoy the fruits of that toil in the World to Come.

(Interestingly, it promises this to whomever tarach—toiled—and not to whoever was successful. It sounds as if you struggle as much as you can to do the work, then you’ll reap the rewards. Meaning, you will be rewarded for your efforts and not for your outcome. Nice!)

So is there something we can learn from our Erev Shabbat preparations that can help us live our life better in This World so as to enable a better place in the World to Come?

Yes.

To figure this out, you first need to write up a list of whatever you do (or should be doing) to prepare for Shabbat and then see how it correlates to what you can do to prepare for the Ultimate Time of Rest: Olam Haba.

Make a List

For example, many people make at least 1 list on Erev Shabbat—a shopping list.

Others also keep a check-off list on their fridge to make sure they cover all the tasks necessary before Shabbat (i.e., set the Shabbat timer, turn off the fridge light, plug in the heating plate, etc.).

People may have a list of phone calls to wish family members “a Good Shabbos!”

And still others make up a schedule. Their to-do list includes the times at which they need to carry out all these tasks.

So that could be something you could incorporate into your daily life right now.

Personally, I feel suffocated by schedules, but a general list of what I’d like to accomplish during the day (in whatever order or at whatever time I wish) helps me accomplish more during the day. It also helps me to see where I’m holding. And checking off whatever I’ve already done is gratifying.

It can also show me if I’m overwhelming myself by chomping off more than I can possibly chew and need to scale back or switch things around.

A list also helps you keep your eye on your goal. You’re less likely to waste time when you see that you still have a couple more things on your list to complete before bedtime.

And because we are focusing on Olam Haba, this list refers to spiritual accomplishments or avodah you’d like to tackle. (Although you could make a list of everything all together. For example, if you plan to daven Mincha before an early shkiah, it’s important to know that you also need to run the carpool that day, then take Malki to her class Shabbaton—meaning, you need to know that you need to daven Mincha as early as possible on that day if you want to daven it at all.)

Frankly, I don’t make a list every day. But when I do, it’s usually more effective than just cruising along and hoping I’ll get around to doing whatever I need to.

Get a Head Start

Another thing people like to accomplish Erev Shabbat is to START EARLY.

(Those bold-faced caps are for me, not for you, dear reader. ;-)

Whether that means getting up early in the morning, or doing as much as you can on the weekdays leading up to Shabbat, you can’t possibly have a nice relaxed early candle-lighting & a clean home with plenty of delicious food if you only start preparing 2 hours before hadlakat neirot.

A last-minute Erev Shabbat tends to usher in a Shabbat with lots of yelling and panicking, followed by complaints throughout Shabbat:

“Where’s my Shabbat shirt—what do you mean it’s still in the laundry?”
“Oh, I can’t believe I forgot to plug in the blech! Maybe the neighbors have room on theirs for our pots?”
“Hey, the light’s still on in the fridge—we can’t close the door!”
“It’s so depressing to see 2 sinks full of dishes waiting to be washed after Shabbat—and we haven’t even had our first meal yet!”
“I hate going to shul in dusty muddy shoes, but I didn’t have time to polish them before Shabbat.”
“I’m hungry—what do you mean there isn’t anything else to eat?”

The big secret is that most of us have already suffered through a Shabbat like that already, whether due to Erev Shabbat laziness or unavoidable emergencies.

But barring unforeseen wrenches thrown our way, many of us know what a rushed, disorganized Erev Shabbat is like and we definitely DON’T want our Eternal World blemished with the spiritual equivalent of “I can’t believe I forgot to plug in the blech!”

Using Time Wisely

On Erev Shabbat, we don’t have time to laze around or waste time in non-essential activities.

Sure, some very organized or very desperate people make time for a pre-Shabbat nap or an energizing breakfast, and that’s actually a good idea if you can manage it.

Even people who completed all their Shabbat preparations by Thursday should spend Erev Shabbat in spiritual preparation for Shabbat (as will be detailed in a following section).

So Erev Shabbat isn’t the time to stretch out on the couch with a novel or start watching an endless video parade of giggling babies or recipes. And people who do waste their Erev Shabbat on Facebook or other non-essentials often find themselves on edge and rushed in order to make it on time.

Again, this is something many people have done at least once, yet don’t like it revealed to others. But rather than feeling bad about yourself or trying to push it to the back your mind, you can utilize it to learn what you should have done instead and improve your future Fridays.

So that’s something to consider within the Olam Hazeh/Olam Haba paradigm too:

How should I best utilize this time?
Yes, I should rest and eat, but how much & for what purpose?

Anger & Emuna Management

Trying my darnedest to manage my temper with emuna: A self-portrait.

Chazal says that the yetzer hara dances around a Jewish home on Erev Shabbat, making it very challenging to avoid angry exchanges.

Our yetzer hara wants us to damage not only our regular soul, but also to damage also the neshamah yeteirah—the extra soul we receive on Shabbat.

(For more, please see: Preserving Your Soul from Anger Erev Shabbat.)

So it’s important to try as hard as we can to cultivate an atmosphere of emuna on Erev Shabbat.

However, if you have ever gotten snappish or shrieky Erev Shabbat, you probably noticed that you later forgot about whatever it was that upset you so much not long after hadlakat neirot.

Whatever you were so stressed about just disappeared. You might even wonder why you were so freaked out about it in the first place?

Or the opposite happens: You remember it only too well. You go into Shabbat with a crummy feeling, like “Why can’t I ever get this right? Why am I such an awful parent/spouse/Jew?”

Or just feeling generally frustrated or resentful or like a failure.

Likewise, it’s very important to avoid anger in This World. (Yet again, I am speaking to myself.) Everything comes from Hashem and there’s no need for anger because He is running things and everything He does is for our own good—even if it doesn’t feel like that at all.

I can’t help thinking that when we finally make the transition (after 120 years, b’ezrat Hashem) to the Afterlife, we’re also going to either go in forgetting about what was so infuriating in This World and wondering why we were so upset in the first place?

Or we might go in feeling bad that we have so many sins of anger on our account.

“Why didn’t I take the yissurim b’simcha?” we might ask ourselves. “Why didn’t I try harder to respond to my ordeals with joy and gratitude? After all Gemara Taanit 8a promises that every person who rejoices in his yissurim brings salvation to the world. So why couldn’t I have tried a little harder?”

In the World of Truth, everything is so clear. We’re finally shown the reason for everything.

And we might feel there like how we feel here in the transition from Erev Shabbat to Shabbat—depending on how our Erev Shabbat went.

But we don’t want to arrive at Olam Haba full of regret or wondering why we were so upset in the first place.

Do Teshuvah

I think this next one isn’t as well known, but it’s important to do teshuvah Erev Shabbat.

Yeah, it’s important to go into Shabbat as sin-free as possible.

In his chapter called Teshuvah, the Pele Yoetz explains that if a person does not repent of his sins the day he committed them, then he should at least do so on the Friday of that week “because it is also a time of teshuvah.”

The Pele Yoetz stresses that thoughts of teshuvah on Erev Shabbat enable one to say Kiddush on Leil Shabbat. Why? The Kiddush is a form of testimony (eidut) and a wicked man is disqualified from testifying.

On a more positive note, doing teshuvah on Erev Shabbat enables a Jew to merit the addition of nefesh-ruach-neshamah (the 3 levels of soul) and the illumination of holiness on Shabbat (he’arat kedushat Shabbat). He continues:

And from the splendor of the abundance of its holiness, it will flow over him to the days of the week to return in repentance and to serve his Creator with complete service.

Umiziv shifat kedushato yashpia alav limot hachol lashuv biteshuvah v’la’avod et bor’o avodah shleimah.

If you think about it, this is actually a thrilling opportunity.

The Pele Yoetz means that by doing teshuvah (admitting your sins, regretting/making amends for them, and then accepting upon yourself to distance yourself from them), you will merit an especially enhanced soul for Shabbat, in addition to an especially enhanced light of holiness on Shabbat itself.

(As far as I know, all Jews receive an extra neshamah for Shabbat, but apparently, the quality and loftiness of your particular neshamah yeteirah depends on your behavior prior to its entry.)

In turn, the splendor (ziv) derived from the especially enhanced light (he’arah) will gush forth into the following week, enabling you to do even more teshuvah and perfect your avodah to Hashem, thereby making you even more fabulous than you already are.

So the spiritual quality and success of your week actually depends a lot on what you did Erev Shabbat of the week before.

Sure, this might sound a bit discouraging if you usually fall on your face Erev Shabbat.

On the other hand, if you’ve been stuck emotionally or spiritually during the week, you can try your best to use this coming Erev Shabbat as a time of teshuvah and anger-management to catapult you into a different state for that Shabbat and the following week.

As always, we don’t seek perfection because only Hashem is Perfect.

If you only manage teshuvah on 1 thing Erev Shabbat, then that’s still really good.

Much, much better than nothing at all.

In addition, the Pele Yoetz advises:

It’s good for a man to turn from his tasks before Kabbalat Shabbat and pour out his conversation [to Hashem]; he shall seek forgiveness, and afterward he shall go to the mikveh.

And he shall find a benefit for his soul, and purify it, and make it holy.

Women don’t go to the mikveh Erev Shabbat, but if a woman can manage to talk to Hashem at all and seek any forgiveness, then that is very good.

Furthermore, as is well-known, the preparations women invest in Erev Shabbat in honor of Shabbat--likhvod Shabbat—provide wonderful merit for her and for all of Am Yisrael.

Refraining from anger during these preparations is also a wonderful atonement.

Getting Started

Also, it’s perfectly normal that the first time you try something, you stumble & bumble around in it simply because you don’t quite know what you’re doing (yet).

Kol hahatchalot kashot—all the beginnings are difficult; that’s the spiritual reality. Just get up and try again. Really, that’s how it goes. It’s so normal.

So these are just a few examples of what you can learn from your Erev Shabbat to apply to your Olam Hazeh. And we share many similar aspects of Erev Shabbat (i.e. the need to start early, prepare food, etc.), individual situations vary.

For example, the Erev Shabbat of a single person is different than the Erev Shabbat of a person with 4 kids under the age of 3, which is different than the Erev Shabbat of a widow who spends a different Shabbat every week with one of her 10 married children.

And so on.

So you can make your personal list of what you do (or should be doing) on Erev Shabbat, then see how you can apply those lessons and insights to your life in This World.

May we all merit a World sheh kulo tov—that is entirely good.

A Special Deal from Kinyan Eretz Yisrael

13/1/2019

For anyone who's interested in the Kinyan Eretz Yisrael project that enables you to fulfill 28 mitzvot connected to Eretz Yisrael (even if you live outside of Eretz Yisrael), they have a 1+1 TuB'Shvat Special going until 15 Shevat/January 21:

Everyone who leases a plot of wheat and grapes for only US$260 (for 1 year) will get another plot entirely for FREE to give away.

For more information, please click this link:
Kinyan Eretz Yisrael 1+1 TuB'Shvat Special

(And yes, that's an affiliate link at no extra cost to you.)

May we all merit a smooth and fulfilling journey toward yishuv Eretz Yisrael.