Category: Emuna

Are You Feeling Shortchanged in Life? Lacking in Talent or Self-Discipline or a Loving Torah Upbringing? Do You Fear You're Overwhelmed by Your Own Sins, Flaws, and Disorders? Do You Feel Like a Nobody? Despised? Rejected? Then Read This...

23/6/2022

I never meant to regularly spotlight gems from The Bitachon Magazine.

A friend (thanks, NEJ!) simply started forwarding it to my Inbox & I started perusing it, seriously impressed and inspired by all the gems found within.

I definitely need to receive exactly the type of chizuk found in the magazine. And others let me know they need this kind of chizuk too.

So from The Bitachon Magazine of Parshat Shelach, Volume 1, Issue 10 (and also in Bitachon Weekly for Parshat Shelach 5782 on pages 2-3), here's yet another gem from Rabbi Yehuda Mandel:

Those who were shortchanged in life, for example they weren’t Zoche to go to some top Yeshiva, or to some unusual Adam Gadol, some great Yichus, or a Gevaldige Chinuch where you are all set for Gadlus; can actually come out ahead in certain ways.

You may be lacking in Kishronos, or a healthy Torah and/or warm loving background, or in being pure and consistent.

Or you aren’t organized and M’sudar, and you suffer from being the “nobody” of your family and/or Yeshiva.

By the way, I saw this heartbreaking dynamic repeatedly throughout the years.

In a malfunctioning family, the black sheep "nobody" of the family is often the child with the best middot.

No joke.

If the mother is a narcissist, she often despises the nicest child and favors another—sometimes she even favors the child with the worst middot. This usually continues into the children's adulthood, often forever.

(For some reason, this specific dynamic is less likely to happen via the father.)

When you see it as an outsider, it's confusing and you're left wondering whether you're missing something in your perception of the apparently nice but rejected family member or whether there's some history that you remain ignorant of. (Like maybe this nice-yet-despised person used to behave horribly or something.)

And sure, it could be that...

...but it's just as likely the mother is seriously messed up and cannot find it in herself to appreciate the child who is so much better than the mother herself could ever dream of being.

So sometimes (but not always!) being rejected or despised within one's family paradoxically indicates your superior character and greatness.

(And growing up in such a torturous dynamic is also from Hashem. These wonderful-yet-despised children can work on themselves in ways and achieve inner growth others cannot.)

Rabbi Mandel continues:

You feel like a failure, or simply not capable.

You may unfortunately be loaded with all kinds of sins, Chas V’shalom.

“Problems” In Life Force a Person to Become A First-Rate Baal Bitachon

These and many more are forced to go only to Hashem; and if they persist then they can come out ahead of everyone.

You have a special place by Hashem, even if others are superior to you in Torah, Avoda, Nachas, or talent [Kish'ron] etc.

You learn to rely heavily on Tefila.

You may have to give up some Torah and Chesed, and even some Parnasa, to spend more time with Hashem and Shaar HaBitachon.

R' Dovid Bleicher Zatzal says that the Baal Bitachon gets special service in Shamayim.

He is a favorite of Hashem, and a [mekurav l'Malchut] — a member of the royal palace.

Again, the theme here is not about being perfect.

It's not even about achievement, but being sincere and just doing the work.

From this same issue, here's another gem from Devorah Silberman (emphasis my own addition):

If one experiences times of feeling of distance and low spirituality, instead of believing that they have failed, they should instead recognize that this is the way Hashem has designed us to be.

The Tanya in Chapter 15 writes that our work in this world involves continuous struggle.

As well as the inspiring Mashal that the Maggid of Mezritch gives:

That Hashem hides Himself to give us the opportunity to play a holy and ultimate game of hide and seek with the power of all powers.

The reason He sometimes hides is so that we will have the opportunity to seek Him and become even closer!

Mrs. Bassie Goldman says that our fluctuating relationship is the plan of Hashem.

Just like how a heartbeat goes up and down.

She also says that if we could choose to always have the connection we want to have, obviously we would choose the connection that we want to have!

So this is proof that when we are in a place of disconnection, we did not choose it.

It means Hashem's will is taking place in our life now.

The Steipler Goan ZT"L then adds that although we may not have the choice to have an always 100% static connection to Him at all times, it is in our choice to positive acts of connection-seeking that will help us over time.

We should feel really good about ourselves that we even care about bitachon, emunah, being frum, connecting to Hashem, finding meaning in Torah and mitzvot, and so on.

If we feel disgruntled about a lack in our lives...or our flaws and transgressions get us down...

...we should davka feel GOOD about this as evidence we care about the right things!

That angst makes you special.

And your angst should transform into simcha because it means you're part of a Godly elite.

Case in point:

In the American Regret Project survey of 16,000 people, only 10% expressed regret for morally wrong actions.

Do you think that's because those 16,000 Americans are so perfected, they simply have not committed moral wrongs, so have nothing to regret?

No, of course not.

Morality has gone down throughout society. People suffer warped values and do not even care about morality, except the kind of "morality" offering them comfy definitions.

So those thousands surveyed expressed regret for not having stayed in touch with their high school buddy.

They expressed regret over not working hard enough to get a promotion or not going to bed on time.

They expressed regret over not living their dreams.

But as far as regret over having lied, stolen, cheated, been mean to someone?

Only 1600 out of the 16,000 surveyed expressed regret for those kinds of moral reasons.

(That's really disturbing, if you think about it.)

So your disappointments and struggles with yourself mean that YOU ARE REALLY AWESOME!!!

So please take note of the words of bitachon excerpted above and use them to access your authentic wonderful self b'simcha.

(Or at least, with as much simcha or pleasure as you can muster in any given moment. No pressure...)

For links related to this topic:

Note:

The Bitachon Magazine features other encouraging stories and gems, plus inspiring poetry from different poets, including Nechumelle Jacobs.

The Bitachon Magazine is related to & under the auspices of Rabbi Yehuda Mandel, but not the same as Bitachon Weekly. The Bitachon Magazine consists of only 4 pages and seems geared more for women (though the above excerpts clearly benefit men too).

I'm not associated with this wonderful initiative in any way, but just passing on subscription information to whoever's interested:

To have The Bitachon Magazine emailed to you weekly, please send a request to bitachonmagazine@gmail.com

You can also sponsor or donate to the magazine via contacting them by that same email. When you sponsor or donate, any chizuk or positive results from the magazine also go into your Heavenly account, increasing your merits.

And no, I get no percentage if you do it. They don't even know I exist...

What to Do with the Idea of "Hashem Doesn't Give a Person a Test They Cannot Handle" when You Feel You Davka CANNOT Handle It–Some Revolutionary Insights from The Bitachon Magazine

8/6/2022

The following article appeared in The Bitachon Magazine, Parshas Bechukosai, Volume 1, Issue 6.

In discussing a very common Torah idea with which many struggle, the following article contains amazing Torah ideas that aren't well-known...but knowing the following ideas makes all the difference in both understanding & internalizing this common Torah idea.

(Thank you very much to NEJ for forwarding it!)

WHAT IF I CANNOT HANDLE IT?!

By: Devorah Silberman

"Hashem doesn’t give a person a test that they cannot handle.”

It is hard to find someone who truly feels strengthened by this phrase.

It’s discussed in either resentful or curious tones with close friends, rabbis' and in therapists' offices. “How can this phrase be literal and accurate?” It’s a topic that raises much confusion amongst those who have faced enormous hurdles in their lives.

Perhaps they have rock solid Emunah, and resonate with almost everything else that they learn, but are puzzled by how to relate to this pusuk.

Oddly enough, despite all the remarkable and profound explanations for what this pusuk truly means, most people don’t seem to have an awareness that there are multiple explanations to what this phrase truly means Bamidbar Rabbah 13:15-16 explains that there are 70 layers to the Torah.

Every single Pusuk has many levels and layers of meaning. Each of the 70 layers are all true at the same time.

Additionally, The Ramchal writes in Maamar al Haggados, that at times, we feel like certain words of Chazal and other Torah Sources seem opposing only because we ourselves misinterpret them.

This sometimes happens when we do not realize the parameters that limit the specific pusuk.

(In other words: We sometimes take the words we hear or read out of context to what they truly mean.)

Although there are multiple explanations on the phrase “Hashem doesn’t give a test you cannot handle,” in this article, I would like to write three that I think are the most insightful.

1: Does Hashem only send us tests that we can pass and that every person should be able to control themselves and be victorious when such tests are presented?

The answer is Yes and No.

Yes, because every test that Hashem sends us is within our ability to pass, but No because we don’t always know what the test is.

Rabbi Yisroel Reisman quotes R’Tzaadok Hakoen (Rabbi Reisman says this in multiple shuirim – one of those shuirim entitled “Oh, the things people say!”) brings out this point from the story of Yehudah and Tamar.

Despite the fact that Yehudah was involved with Tamar, in a way that is unbecoming from a man of his stature, we find no mention of punishment, rebuke, or even sin for his act.

Yet, when Tamar becomes expecting, she is asked and we see multiple Mefarshim praising Yehudah for admitting to what he caused.

This is due to the fact that Yehudah was placed in a situation where he was not able to overcome his temptation and it was too hard for him to refrain from committing this act; therefore, no sin was ascribed to him.

Yehudah’s test did not lie in the act itself; rather he was tested in his ability to admit it in a later date.

Since we do not know what Hashem is testing us, so we must do our utmost best in every area. Rabbi Golombeck Shlita often speaks about not focusing on the result or outcome but rather on your efforts. As long as we genuinely did our utmost best, the results would not be in our control (of course this would only apply when one knows they sincerely did their actual best).

Similarly, the Steipler Goan ZT”L wrote many letters to people with mental health challenges and in one such letter, he writes on a similar point.

The letter was sent in by a student suffering from obsessive heretical thoughts.

He regularly had serious thoughts that most Jews do not have to the same extent that he did.

Yet, no matter to what he tried, it was to no avail. He could not find the key to getting rid of these thoughts flooding his mind on a daily basis.

The Steipler wrote the following critical message:

“It appears that at the current time, you are not capable of free choice in this area. Rather, which is under your control and your free choice is to do positive things that will help over time.” (In today’s world, for someone suffering from obsessive and uncontrollable thoughts, this would usually mean going for therapy and doing other helpful mind conditioning exercises as well as taking medication if needed.)

(This first explanation is taken from the book Battle of the Mind by Rabbi Avrohom Steier. Book for Torah based inspiration for those with emotional challenges. Book copies can be obtained through aasteier@gmail.com)

2: Another explanation is that we grow into people who can handle them.

We certainly as Yidden, believe that we soar to new spiritual heights through challenges.

If we reach new levels, it would mean that we didn’t start out on the level we reached through the challenge. Which would mean that we grow into people who can handle them.

3: The last but definitely not least interpretation of the phrase that is very close to my heart is the following:

When you hear the phrase “Hashem doesn’t give you a test that you cannot handle” and you feel resentful towards this phrase. The reason you feel resentful is because the person who said the phrase did not finish their sentence. They should add the two words “without Him.”

“Hashem doesn’t give you a test you cannot handle – without Him.”

You need to ask Hashem to give you the strength to handle it in the best way possible.

Bracha Kaila Levin A”H was someone who I was so close to.

Among the myriad of unbelievable inspiring stories I have about all that she did, one that illustrates this idea so well is the last conversation I ever had with her.

She was in the hospital on oxygen and was still so eager to learn with me over the phone.

She was losing her ability to move and know that soon she was expected to lose her ability to talk.

I asked her how she does all that she does with so much strength and loads of Emunah. Out of the many things she told me, she said something that never left my memory.

“I constantly, ask Hashem in my own words give me the strength to handle it in the best way possible.”

We often beg Hashem to take our difficult circumstance away. And we should! But we must also include the tefilla of asking for Him to grant us the ability to handle our situation until our awaited Yeshuah comes.

Please note a major idea here:

The nisayon is NOT always what you THINK it is.

And just to emphasize: The above examples do not mean life is a free-for-all and we can indulge ourselves at whim because, hey, "Hashem made me do it!"

No, no, no.

But I think we've all found ourselves in situations in which we know the right way to respond and we genuinely try to respond that way...and instead, we crash and burn.

And this does not speak to the people who justify their prohibited behavior by saying vaguely, "Oh, it's really not so bad"—when it really is." "Everyone loses their temper sometimes..."—when you actually lose your temper regularly. "Oh well, what can I do now? Just try harder, I guess"—when you've never tried that hard and have no strategy for trying harder in the future.

Yehudah did not indulge in any of those vague justifications.

He could have said, "Oh, it really wasn't so bad..." Or "Everyone indulges their taavos sometimes..."—which was certainly true in ancient Mesopotamia, especially for outwardly powerful, handsome, successful, and charismatic men like Yehudah.

But in Yehudah's supreme integrity and humility, he did NOT engage in such justifications.

Nor did he dismiss his behavior as "cute," "clever," or "funny."

He knew the act was strictly forbidden and he tried to control it, but honestly could not.

And that's what this idea addresses.

As the author herself notes above:

As long as we genuinely did our utmost best, the results would not be in our control (of course this would only apply when one knows they sincerely did their actual best).

Side note: Deep reasons exist for Yehudah's detour from conventional halachah. One reason states that such an anti-Torah union fooled the Satan and the forces of evil, who would otherwise prevent Mashiach—who descends from this union—from coming into this world. (Tamar is a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother of David Hamelech.) That's an oversimplification of an issue, which may arouse more questions than it answers. But in a nutshell? There you go.

For more, please see here: Shavuos: The Mysterious Ancestry of David HaMelech–ww.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=60987)

Practical Application of the Concept

So let's look at some of the most inspiring and practical points within the article:

Yehudah’s test did not lie in the act itself; rather he was tested in his ability to admit it in a later date.

In other words, again: Your nisayon isn't always what you (or others) think it is.

And the idea of valuing your efforts regardless of the outcome:

Since we do not know what Hashem is testing us, so we must do our utmost best in every area. Rabbi Golombeck Shlita often speaks about not focusing on the result or outcome but rather on your efforts.

And the Steipler's words (to what possibly seems like a form of OCD):

“It appears that at the current time, you are not capable of free choice in this area. Rather, which is under your control and your free choice is to do positive things that will help over time.”

Unlike most of modern psychology (which considers a person's flaws as all-encompassing & permanent), the Steipler considers this person's mental state as temporary.

Please contrast the Steipler's Torah-true attitude to the mainstream approach toward alcoholism (for example). Mainstream treatment considers alcoholism a permanent state of "disease" (even if the person has been sober for 37 years)—and even if the "disease" aspects can be explained via non-disease concepts.

Or contrast the Steipler's response to how modern mainstream psychology and psychiatry consider any type of mental illness as requiring medication for the rest of one's life.

Maybe a mental illness does require that.

But why is that the automatic assumption?

And why is it presented as the only option (when other options often clearly exist)?

And why is much of the psychiatric community so insistent & forceful about this assumption?

Many times, mental illness is not a lifetime sentence.

And medication is not necessarily the permanent answer either. (Although medication can be a temporary or occasional answer...and maybe in some cases it is the permanent answer.)

Furthermore, many professionals and lay people consider these conditions all-encompassing. Meaning, they don't much acknowledge what the person CAN do, but focus on their dysfunction as the primary (and permanent) part of them.

For instance, many schizophrenics are also highly sensitive, creative, and more intelligent than average.

Why not focus on cultivating their gifts while treating their afflictions?

Not all opinions agree with mainstream pop psychology, of course.

For example, Dr William Glasser considered mental illness curable over time with the right attitude and right behavior modification and motivation.

(Yes, even severe illnesses like schizophrenia. And his patients did indeed overcome their mental illnesses. Oddly, Dr. Glasser's success with mental illness is barely studied in university psychology and almost unknown in the mainstream...)

Another psychiatrist cured a young woman of OCD with a combination of therapy and treating her gut with probiotics.

And other exceptions also exist.

The Torah way of hope and optimism and emunah is the true & most effective route.

Hope for the Tried and Still Trying!

For those who are truly trying yet feel frustrated, emotionally exhausted, and conflicted...I very much hope the above article helps.

It's also a brilliant discussion of the common concept of "Hashem doesn’t give a person a test that they cannot handle.”

I know it helped me a lot & offered new insights.

Hopefully, we can use the above ideas to better help ourselves and others.

Note:
The Bitachon Magazine is related to but not the same as Bitachon Weekly. The Bitachon Magazine consists of only 4 pages and seems geared more for women (though the above article clearly benefits men too).

I'm not associated with this wonderful initiative in any way, but just passing on subscription information to whoever's interested:

To have The Bitachon Magazine emailed to you weekly, please send a request to bitachonmagazine@gmail.com

"The Torah was Not Meant for Angels"—So It's Also Not Meant for the Chronically Elusive "Mr. Perfect." What Does that Mean for the Rest of Us?

1/6/2022

Here's another treat from Bitachon Weekly:

In Novardok they said, “The Pope never sins, but we do.”

This is a gentile mentality; that you have to be perfect.

A Jew derives simcha just by serving Hashem; not by being Mr. Perfect.

We enjoy doing Teshuva.

We are positive about our faults.

We realize that you just have to try your best.

"The Torah was not meant for the angels" (Gemaras Brachot 25:b, Yoma 30:a, Kiddushin 54:a).

— Rabbi Yehuda Mandel
Bitachon Weekly Bamidbar/Shavuos 5782

That's a cleverly satirical quote about the Pope because he was traditionally considered saintly, even though no Pope ever was.

(I still remember coming across a Pope who begat 10 illegitimate children even as he sat on the Papal throne. And that does not even begin to cover the Popes who won their role by assassinating the previous Pope or terrible fake trials, tortures, and slaughters carried out on their orders.)

The 2 Main Problems with Toxic Shame

What does toxic shame lead to?

To 2 problematic consequences:

(1) Toxic shame prevents teshuvah.

Because a person refuses to acknowledge his flaw exists OR he acknowledges it, but minimizes it by considering it cute, clever, or funny...then he never works on it.

He never tries to uproot it or fix it in any way because, hey, it's not really there.

(2) It causes a person to live a lie.

You aren't your negative attributes. They aren't even your fault at their root; Hashem placed them there because HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO BE PERFECT; HE WANTS YOU TO WORK ON BEING PERFECT.

(But WITHOUT getting neurotic about achieving perfection or not being perfect. Because actual perfection is NOT the point.)

If you ultimately manage to perfect yourself, then that's because Hashem allowed that to happen.

But that's not the point. The point is the work and the ratzon/desire to improve.

(A lot of people are not destined to actually achieve conventional self-perfection. For many people, their self-perfection is paradoxically their lack of success. Please see here for more explanation: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/what-if-you-lean-more-toward-esav-than-yaakov-avinu-the-perfect-mitzvah-for-imperfect-people)

Your soul is pristine and holy; THAT soul is the REAL YOU.

How to Fight Toxic Shame & Embrace the Real You

So many people suffer from toxic shame.

If people don't feel how society insists they should feel, if we suffer compulsions and desires deemed unwholesome or forbidden...then we feel like, "Ooh, this is the REAL ME. So bad. I better cover it up—even from myself!"

But really, our attitude should be like: "Gosh, I've got some pretty serious faults. Well, what else is new? That's exactly how Hashem designed things! The Torah was created for people just like me! Yippee-yay!"

And also: "My flaws and guilty pleasures do not indicate the real me. The real me is my beautiful and pristine neshamah."

Again, the mere existence of our flaws, desires, guilty pleasures, etc., do NOT reflect on us.

HOW we RESPOND to our negative attributes reflects on us.

And also how we respond to our positive attributes...do we even acknowledge them?

To receive Bitachon Weekly by email, feel free to send a request to:
thenewbitachonweekly@gmail.com

Please note: I've no connection with Bitachon Weekly; just find their material uniquely amazing & wish to spread this wonderful dose of sanity in an increasingly insane world.

Why You are Better & More Successful than an Angel

27/3/2022

Today, we're explaining why you are better than an angel.

Yes...YOU.

You...with all your flaws, frustrations, addictions, taavot, and failures...YOU are more successful than an angel.

And here's the proof:

Many of us are familiar with the teaching from Pirkei D'Rebbi Eliezer 22 regarding the angels sent down to this world in the generation of Kayin (Cain, son of Adam).

It didn't end well for them.

Despite their lofty experiences in Heaven & all the awareness they brought with them to this world...yet once immersed in this world, they sank so deeply into this gross existence, they indulged in every possible abomination.

As a result, they remain chained within the Mountains of Darkness (whatever that means exactly) until today.

Likewise, when Hashem sent His angelic messengers to destroy Sedom, even that brief dip in this earthly world polluted them with enough gross materiality to claim: "We are destroying this place" (Beresheit 19:13)—implying a disconnect from Hashem as their Master & Primary Cause of Everything, as if they were acting on their own at their own discretion.

And that resulted from only a brief sojourn in this world, where the angels retained all their memory and experience of the upper worlds and closeness to Hashem.

And they were ANGELS, for crying out loud! Not human beings, but otherworldly angels! Their entire being & creation consisted of the spiritual!

(Just for knowing: This breach in awareness resulted in Hashem banishing them from His Presence for 138 years—Beresheit Rabbah 50:9.)

Because even a brief immersion in our world—an existence suffused with deceptive earthly materialism, affects angels so negatively—is one of the reasons why Hashem needed to come through Egypt Himself (so to speak) for the final Plague (the Death of the Firstborn).

We know this from Hashem's famous statement as recorded in the Pesach Haggadah: "I—and not an angel, and not a seraph, and not a messenger."

As Rav Yaakov Galinsky stated, "The impurity of Egypt was so great that even angels could be defiled there..."

So what does that mean for us?

What does that say about us?

We, who lack any memory of the Upper Worlds...we, born into this wholly material existence which covers any true spirituality or goodness or morality with a veil of deception...

We, many of whom endured either an upbringing completely devoid of Torah or an upbringing mixed with true Torah & a distortion of Torah...

We, NOT composed of light like the angels, but composed primarily of earth and water, keeping us firmly anchored to the earthly world, and covering up our neshamah (which is the only pure light we hold yet cannot see)...

What chance do WE have?

Some Chizuk for All Us Non-Angels

So it means that...

...we are pretty great!

We don't really stand a chance.

Yet for some reason, so many of us ARE doing things simply because HASHEM told us to!

So many of us struggle against the current.

And today, it really is harder than ever.

In this history of mankind, it has never been this all-encompassing.

Think about it.

Sedom was the materialist pinnacle of ancient Mesopotamia.

It was like the Beverly Hills or Palm Beach or Tahiti of today.

(If you develop a whim to copperplate all your plumbing in the middle of the night in Beverly Hills, plumbers exist to accommodate you—for the right price, of course. The point being that in such places, you can micromanage your life to a ridiculous degree and indulge almost any whim you have as long as you can pay for it.)

But because of today's technology, the modern world has become like Sedom if Dr. Frankenstein had messed with it AND then given it steroids & heroin.

And today's impurity is beyond Mitzrayim/ancient Egypt.

They reached the 49th level, but we've reached the 50th (as noted by Rav Itamar Schwartz and many others).

It's so addictive and all-encompassing.

If the angels sent down in the pre-Flood times became so animalistic...

And if the angels sent by Hashem on a mission to destroy Sedom become corrupted by such a brief dip in our world...

And if the spiritual pollution of ancient Egypt proved so potent that no angel could remain unaffected by it...

...then those of us who make any sincere effort to keep Torah must be pretty AWESOME!

Think about it.

Think about our physical composition, our experiences & influences, and how the encroaching tumah pollutes everything with such convincing deceptions and lies.

And think about how even an angel remains unable to merely flit through this world unsullied.

Think about how an angel immersed in this world cannot maintain its purity or nobility on any level.

Yet YOU do!

You try, and you struggle, and you DO do good things.

And that means you succeed more than an angel when faced with the same challenges.

Hopefully, this will encourage you to focus on all the good you do (despite the fails & falls we all endure) and to keep on going with that good (even when it doesn't FEEL good—or important).

But just know: You ARE on a MUCH higher level than you realize.

Just because you try. Or even just because you refrain.

The above ideas (including the quote from above) are gleaned from V'Higadeta: Beresheis—Insights, stories, and teachings on the weekly parshah from the treasure-trove of the maggid HaRav Yaakov Galinsky, ztz"l. pages 87-88.

Rav Galinsky (1921-2014) was a tremendous talmid chacham and tzaddik who carried the torch of Novadok mussar throughout the Nazi invasion of Europe, the Siberian labor camps, and the vicissitudes of life in Eretz Yisrael until his passing. His teachings ring with joyful energy & uncompromising devotion to Hashem.

For more on this topic, please see:
why-this-generation-is-so-astounding.html

A Q&A Excerpt from Bitachon Weekly: "With all the Jews in Ukraine that are in danger, what does the Rav suggest we Yidden should be doing and thinking at this time?"

15/3/2022

Not surprisingly, I'm seeing a lot of confusion and distorted good intentions regarding this whole Russia-Ukraine fiasco.

So here is a recent Q&A with Rabbi Yehuda Mandel of Bitachon Weekly (Vayikra-Zachor-Purim 5782), which also features brief yet encouraging observations from one of the recently rescued Ukrainian rabbis & Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen:

Question:
With all the Jews in Ukraine that are in danger, what does the Rav suggest we Yidden should be doing and thinking at this time?

Answer:
First, it is important that every person should feel they are the one who can save the situation...

...The world was created for me. [a quote from Sanhedrin 37a – MR]

MAKE BELIEVE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD.

Be alone with Hashem and watch your Tefilos come true.

I did just that, and the results are incredible. I davened to Hashem that no one should get hurt.

Then I davened that people should do Teshuva, because that’s very important; their spiritual deprivation is worse than their physical danger.

Most Yidden in Ukraine are not Shomer Shabbos or anything and are living out their lives without Torah and Mitzvos. We need to care about them and be M’karev them; at the very least we should cry for them.

I also davened that there should not arise Agunah Shaylos, since they were taking the men away from their families to join the war.

I bumped into Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen Shlita last Shabbos and asked him to tell me about his thoughts on the topic.

He said that the story of Mordechai on Purim teaches us how one man can save the entire world, and that this is how every individual should think.

I felt the same way during the Gulf War; I davened that no one should get hurt, and that’s exactly what happened.

Every person should do the same, and should have in mind their Ruchaniyus as well, because the Geula is around the corner, and when Moshiach comes it will not be so simple for all the irreligious Jews.

So that’s why they must be in our minds all the time. This is what I had in mind.

This past Shabbos I met the Rav of Ukraine himself, R’ Yaakov Bleich, who arrived in Lakewood. I asked him about the plight of the men, and he reported that they are all getting saved; with spectacular Nissim.

Then I asked him about their Yiras Shamayim, if they are doing Teshuva?

He replied that this is exactly what is happening.

Even their president, who is a Jewish M’shumad, called R’ Bleicher and declared: Without G-d, we aren’t making it!

So, I feel that my Tefilos are being heard, and every Yid should take credit for the Yeshua, too.

Each person should feel they are in charge.

You can “remote control” everything with your Tefilos, your Teshuva, and Bitachon.

During the Gulf War, Saddam Hussein was shooting scud missiles into Eretz Yisroel, and people were panicking.

At that time, every Gadol publicized that no one will be harmed, and that’s exactly what happened. The government was giving out gas masks [they were afraid of chemical warfare], and R’ Chaim Kanievsky said they should wear them on Purim [for a costume], and that’s what happened.

See how their positive words had an effect! Everyone should speak positively and watch how exactly that will happen.

Words are alive!

Part of the reason this explanation spoke to me is because Rav Itamar Schwartz repeatedly emphasized how one of the responses to covid-19 is to be alone with Hashem, to find at least 1 minute of quiet to really be with Hashem. (More than 1 minute is better, but even 1 minute contains immeasurable value.)

Hashem really wants each of us to be the unique individual He created us to be—a real avodah in a world that seeks to constantly distract us, keep us "connected" to people we may barely know (2000 Fakebook friends?), and to have us all think & act the same.

(That is a huge part of the reason why Hashem brought the covid-19 phenomenon into the world.)

And here, Rabbi Mandel emphasizes individuality and loneness, including the supreme importance of an individual's tefillot and deeds—and not just those of a tzaddik!—but of regular Jews.

Furthermore, Rabbi Mandel demonstrates real concern and caring for fellow Jews on all levels, noting how the coming of Mashiach—welcome by the sincerely frum (or sincerely TRYING to be frum!) will not be experienced in that vein by the irreligious Jews.

Also, it hadn't occurred to me to think of the agunah situations that often arise in wartime & displacement, but it is of course a serious concern and I really appreciate him bringing it to the forefront.

All in all, rather than taking sides and getting sucked into the false narratives surrounding us, it's best to take the advice presented in the above Q&A.

To receive Bitachon Weekly by email send a request to:

thenewbitachonweekly@gmail.com

(I'm not connected to this at all; just passing on the good information!)

4 Questions from Rav Itamar Schwartz of Bilvavi to Help Us on Our Journey toward Truth

30/1/2022

Our mission in This World is to strive for Truth.

This means living according to Truth (and not just conducting intellectually stimulating discussions or theses on the mere idea of Truth).

In light of this, Rav Itamar Schwartz presents probing questions each person should ask him/herself.

Many of you have already answered at least some of these positively. You've already made certain powerful changes for the sake of Truth. (It's clear from your decisions & actions & yearnings.)

But it's rare that a person has already pondered all these questions.

It's rare that a person has already made all the changes necessary to fulfill the answers to these questions.

So here's an opportunity to do so if you haven't already.

Needless to say, I need to grapple with these questions just as much anyone else. We're in this together—at different levels and stages, but still together.

Note: Please note these questions form around the idea that you actually KNOW of a more truthful place, community, interpretation, etc. and NOT just that someone merely suggested their own "truth" according to their own subjective opinion...or that you kinda-sorta-maybe "think" so, or that you vaguely heard something was considered more truthful, or that you're still trying to figure it out (which is perfectly legit; how else can you know unless you think about it first?)...the questions are: "What if you KNOW"...what if you are in COMPLETE AGREEMENT with them"—what would you do then?

Here are the 4 questions:

1) If you are told a certain interpretation in Torah that is more truthful than your current understanding, would you admit to it and say that the other way of understanding is truer than yours?

Or would you feel bad that you have to give up your previous way of understanding what you learned?

2) If you were told that there is a certain beis midrash in which they learn Torah in a more truthful way, would you leave your current beis midrash and go there?

3) If you discover that there is a group of Jews in the world who live more truthfully than you do, would you give up your current lifestyle and change over to that way of life?

Would you be prepared to leave your way of life in Yiddishkeit if you would find out that it’s not as truthful as a different way of Yiddishkeit?

If you agree that they are closer to the truth than you are, would you be prepared to actually uproot yourself from your community and move to the community where there is a more truthful lifestyle?

Or would you say, “I don’t know. If I move, it won’t work out for my wife and children…” In other words, “I don’t really want to!” (On a deeper note, both the husband and wife both don’t want!)

If someone lives a truthful life, a really truthful life, that means he is not dependent on anything on this world. He is prepared to leave anything for the truth.

He is prepared to let go of this generation, to let go of this world, to let go of this time that we are in, and to exchange it for a more truthful level of existence.

4) If a person is offered the chance to leave behind his current life and instead enter into a different time, in which there will be a Beis HaMikdash and Moshiach, would he do it?

Or would he wish he could stay in his current time?

If he leads a yeshivah for 1000 bochurim and then Mashiach comes, is he ready to give up his position…?

To see the questions within the original transcript AND to hear the class in the original Hebrew, please go here:
https://bilvavi.net/english/tefillah-055-searching-truth

Link to a Short Class on What the Zohar Says about Scandals before Mashiach

17/1/2022

With both global events & events within our communities (plus very personal events), we probably all feel the rope of emunah shaking very hard by now.

(Unfamiliar with the "shaking rope of emunah"? Then please click here: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/recognizing-the-spastic-rope-of-emunah.)

It's amazing how in just under 4 minutes, Rabbi Daniel Travis explains what's going on here:
Thanking Hashem When Things Look Bad #1063-Exposing Scandals Before Moshiach Pt1
www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=175717

Basically, the Zohar predicts how before Mashiach, the Erev Rav will make the Torah SEEM putrid.

It's not, of course.

The Torah is the clearest, purest, most beautiful part of the Universe.

But the Erev Rav will behave in a way that repels the world AWAY from the Torah.

It's sort of like throwing sewage all over the Hope diamond. You might think the large lump in the middle of the sewage is a particularly large and nasty chunk of manure.

But no...it's the Hope diamond.

No matter how much sewage anyone dumps on it, it remains just as prized & valuable as ever.

Sewage cannot do more than cover the Hope diamond. Sewage cannot actually harm or change the Hope diamond in any way.

Don't let yourself get confused by the vast amounts of revolting sewage dumped all over by the Erev Rav!

Don't be fooled! It's all a cover-up. A particularly flabbergasting and repulsive cover-up to be sure, but only a cover-up nonetheless.

The real diamond is still there...just as precious, unique, and unchanged as ever.

The Ultimate Path to Geula

14/1/2022

As Long as You Fight, You Win (Even If It Looks Like You've Lost)

Here is another powerful excerpt from Bitachon Weekly, page 3.

(I've no connection to it, but you can sign up for Bitachon Weekly here: thenewbitachonweekly@gmail.com.)

The “one out of five” Yidden who left Mitzrayim were the Avdei Hashem, who struggled and fought against their Yetzer Hara.

Those who were not fighters, died during the three days of darkness, which is symbolic of a dark world.

Someone who doesn't fight his Yetzer Hara is in a darkness, with no real purpose.

A person who fights his Yetzer Hara is alive and full of chiyut/life even if he may fall often in his struggles against his Yetzer Hara.

Indeed, the Yidden sinned very soon....Yet, he is still considered an Eved Hashem and worthy of receiving the Torah, since he is constantly fighting his Yetzer Hara.

So we see the one-fifth who merited to leave Mitzrayim were NOT pure tzaddikim on the inside.

They felt pulled toward the forbidden.

But they STRUGGLED against that pull.

They had the same yetzer hara as anyone else...but they fought against it.

And that made all the difference.

Why Faith in the Ultimate Geula Makes All the Difference

I recently heard a shiur on how the minority that merited to leave Mitzrayim earned that merit:
Parashat Bo: The Holocaust Survivor's Confession
https://www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=174435
(Starting around minute 2:50.)

After all, some very bad people left with them too.

Datan, Aviram, etc.

What made the difference?

After all, Chazal calls the people left in Mitzrayim "reshaim."

But some of the people who merited to leave Mitzrayim were also reshaim!

What enabled these sinful people to leave while other sinful people died in the Plague of Darkness?

According to the Rosh:

Even though they were reshaim, they didn't despair of the Geula.

That's it.

That made all the difference.

They never lost hope for the Geula.

Is there a contradiction between this idea and the one above?

A little bit.

But please remember the big yetzer hara is despair. Hopelessness. Giving up. "It's never going to happen."

Most of the Jews who left Mitzrayim fought against all their yetzer haras: despair, taava, ka'as, etc.

But even the ones who ONLY fought against their yetzer hara of despair merited redemption from Mitzrayim.

Emunah is a powerful thing.

You don't have to be perfect.

You can just KNOW the Redemption really IS coming.

"As Long as You are a Fighter, You are a Great Person!"

13/1/2022

Some wonderful chizuk from Bitachon Weekly Beshalach 5782, page 3 (boldface mine).

TAKE IT TO HEART!

If you are one of those who has “problems” [e.g. with Ka’as (anger), Ta’ava (physical & material desires), not learning and davening as well as you should, with difficulties in Bitachon or relationships], as long as you are a fighter, you are a great person and from the “Chamushim” warriors who deserve to leave Mitzrayim.

Even the biggest Tzaddikim fall again and again throughout their lives, yet they remain Tzaddikim, as it says Mishlei/Proverbs 24:17 A Tzaddik falls seven times, and gets up, since they get up and soldier on, and are not Mya’esh (hopeless).

To receive Bitachon Weekly by email, send a request to:
thenewbitachonweekly@gmail.com

The Weekly Vaad can be heard on Kol Halashon:
(718) 906 – 6400
Option 1, 4, 93
www.kolhalashon.com

Bitachon Hotline—“A Life of Bitachon”
(732) 719 – 3898
Rabbi Mandel can also be heard on
Kav Hashgacha Pratis 646-585-2979
Yiddish #122 Hebrew #222 English #322

To hear a clear recording of Rabbi Mandel’s shiurim, call TorahAnytime by dialing:
USA 718 298 2077
UK 0330-1170305
Israel 072-398-2980
Canada 647-797-0056

Please note: I've no connection with Bitachon Weekly; just find their material uniquely amazing & wish to spread this wonderful dose of sanity in an increasingly insane world.

What If You Lean More toward Esav than Yaakov Avinu? The Perfect Mitzvah for Imperfect People

20/12/2021

Note:
All quotes from/about the Tanya within the post can be found here:
www.chabad.org/library/tanya/tanya_cdo/aid/7906/jewish/Chapter-27.htm

All boldface & underline below are my own additions.

What was Really Wrong with Esav?

In response to a question about Esav, Rabbi Y.Y. Jacobson explained how Esav was born into the category of those who forever struggle against their lesser desires.

Esav's big defect lay not in the fact that he felt such desires.

His defect lay in his unwillingness to STRUGGLE against these desires.

For all his abilities toward fighting (hunting, battle, and so forth), Esav remained immersed in his desires rather than fighting them.

Rabbi Jacobson pointed to the Lubavitcher Tanya's Likutei Amarim-Chapter 27 for a deeper explanation of this:
www.chabad.org/library/tanya/tanya_cdo/aid/7906/jewish/Chapter-27.htm

The Yaakov Avinu Category

Basically, 2 categories of people exist:

Those who manage to overcome their lesser desires to the point they no longer experience such desires (Yaakov Avinu)
Those who constantly suffer these desires, yet overcome them—in other words, those in constant battle (Esav...or who Esav was supposed to be, but failed)

The Yaakov Avinu type makes sense.

After all, the more you refine yourself & clean out your brain, the less attractive prohibitions become.

Probably, we've all experienced it on some level; we felt a strong pull toward a certain behavior or desire, but as we matured emotionally & spiritually, we wondered why we ever felt attracted to such a thing.

It's like drinking from a dirty toilet.

That act is so obviously repulsive, no one feels tempted to do it.

No one passes by a grungy outhouse catering to a much-frequented campsite and says, "Oh gosh, Hashem please help me fight my overpowering yetzer hara—how else can I resist taking a slurp?!"

Furthermore, if a person ever confided in you about feeling that way, you'd probably feel so creeped out, you'd avoid that person from then on.

This is because just the idea is so obviously repellent.

So it makes sense that a truly elevated person, a person who truly worked on himself & made enormous progress, a person with genuine self-awareness who underwent a raw cheshbon hanefesh followed by the appropriate repentance...it makes sense that such a person does not even feel attracted to certain acts.

He does not even experience certain desires.

And it's true.

But for some people, it's not true. They never reach that happy state of freedom.

The Esav Category

Why would Hashem make such a category?

Why create such people?

(Note: The truth is...ALL people start off in the category of struggling against lesser desires. With strenuous effort & time, some people graduate to the Yaakov Avinu category where they simply do not feel the desires. But some people never enter that category...or they do not enter it completely.)

Here's Likutei Amarim 27 on the topic:

By averting his mind from sinful thoughts, he fulfills the injunction,

“You shall not follow after your heart and after your eyes, by which you go astray.” [Bamidbar/Numbers 15:39]

(www.chabad.org/library/tanya/tanya_cdo/aid/7906/jewish/Chapter-27.htm)

As the commentary there explains:

Only when sinful thoughts enter one’s mind can he fulfill this command.

In other words, the Torah command is a very big & happy mitzvah.

But if you've nothing to lead your heart or eyes astray, then you cannot fulfill this mitzvah.

Only people with wayward desires can fulfill this mitzvah.

Think about that for a moment...

Born to be Bad

This same Tanya goes on to explain the idea of some born for righteousness & some born for wickedness, which is mentioned in Bava Batra 16a, quoting a conversation between Iyov/Job & God:

"...You created righteous people, You created wicked people..."

Having made that point, this never justifies a Popeye the Sailorman attitude of "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam" based on the faulty assumption that "Heck, I was created wicked! That's just who I am! I can't help myself! I'm genetically programmed this way!"

But rather, some people become tzaddikim released from these desires while others spend a lifetime as benonim ("middlemen"), never freed from their desires & trapped in a constant state of battle.

Whether Hashem created a person to be a tzaddik or a rasha, both MUST work on themselves to overcome their forbidden stuff.

But the person destined to remain a benoni his whole life certainly suffers more.

He always feels the pull of his desires.

The commentary there sums it up:

A tzaddik subjugates his animal soul to such a degree that it is unable to arouse temptation in his heart.

His mind is therefore untroubled by evil thoughts.

Those, however, of whom Job said that they were “created wicked” cannot rise to this level.

It is always possible for evil thoughts to enter their minds; their task is not to give them free rein.

It sounds aggravating & depressing.

Yet the Tanya (based on the Zohar) finds wonderful things to say about this.

The Wonderful Reason for being Born to be Bad

The person afflicted with wayward desires should feel happy about the opportunity to deflect them.

Yes—happy!

Yay! Whee! Woo-hoo! ♫"If you're flawed and you know it, clap your hands! If you're sinful and you know it clap your hands!..."♪

Yes. Like that.

Why?

Here's Tanya Chapter 27 to explain:

Our Sages have said: “When one passively refrains from sin, he is rewarded as though he had actively performed a mitzvah." [Kiddushin 39b]

Consequently, he should rejoice in his compliance with the injunction just as he does when performing an actual positive precept.

***

Behold, this is the trait of the beinonim and their task:

to subdue the evil impulse and the thought that rises from the heart to the mind and to completely avert his mind from it, repulsing it as it were with both hands, as explained above in ch. 12.

The commentary there clarifies:

The Alter Rebbe explained there that the evil in the soul of the beinoni remains vigorous; his task is to prevent it from expressing itself in thought, speech, and action.

Thus, he has no control over the occurrence of evil thoughts in his mind, but only over his acceptance or rejection of these thoughts.

As Rebbi Akiva Rabinovitz says (Rav Ofer Erez in Ahavat Kedumim, page 170):

Hakadosh Baruch Hu holds absolutely no hakpadah [strict judgement, condemnation] against a Jewish person who possess evil traits and lusts.

Hakadosh Baruch Hu does not come in accusations about this since He implanted these within him, and He brought us down here for this purpose.

***
The hakpadah occurs when the Jewish person does not strive to seek out the path and the counsel as to how to get out of [those evil traits and lusts].

Therefore, the ONLY problem lies in one's RESPONSE to these thoughts & desires.

Not IF he feels the pull of the yetzer hara, but HOW he responds.

Based on the Zohar, the Tanya there goes on to describe how the mere act of pushing away a thought, of refraining from sin, subdues the Sitra Achra (the Dark Side) in both This World and the Upper Worlds!

That explains why Hashem created people to struggle like this.

Whether you want to call them benonim, reshaim (as defined by their urges, not necessarily their actual behavior), or the Esav type, the all-important purpose they serve in the world comes from their ability to beat down the Sitra Achra by virtue of their silent & unseen mental abilities.

Without their sinful desires, there is no repelling or refraining, and without that repelling or refraining, there is no suppression of the Sitra Achra at its very root.

When Lifelong "Failure" is Actually Massive Success on All Levels

Here's the big whammy:

Therefore, one should not feel depressed or very troubled at heart, even if he be engaged all his days in this conflict with the thoughts which will always enter his mind.

For perhaps this is what he was created for, and this is the service demanded of him--to subdue the sitra achara constantly.

This remains a recurrent theme in Judaism, which as far as I know, does not exist in any other belief system.

Your EFFORT decides everything.

Not the result. Not your innate nature.

But the mere effort determines your status.

Why?

Because your lesser aspects come from Hashem.

Whether you developed these unwanted traits & tendencies from your background, upbringing, culture OR you were born with them...they come from HASHEM.

The question is why?

Why did He implant these unwanted traits & tendencies within you?

Again, as we see above, the very act of repelling these tendencies & desires reaps powerful results.

Someone needs to weaken the Sitra Achra in both This World and the Upper Worlds.

Someone needs to fight the Sitra Achra at its root.

Someone needs to cut off the head of the snake.

And if you suffer from any kind of sinful thoughts or desires...then that heroic someone must be YOU.

the-1-idea-you-must-tell-yourself-about-your-flaws-mistakes-weaknesses-and-sins.html
why-your-nasty-bad-habits-weaknesses-are-actually-your-best-friends.html
why-failures-are-not-really-failures-the-ultimate-way-to-relate-to-down-times.html
The Ultimate Meaning behind Pain and Frustration (explains the theme of The Lost Princess)

<<Previous

Are You Feeling Shortchanged in Life? Lacking in Talent or Self-Discipline or a Loving Torah Upbringing? Do You Fear You're Overwhelmed by Your Own Sins, Flaws, and Disorders? Do You Feel Like a Nobody? Despised? Rejected? Then Read This...

What to Do with the Idea of "Hashem Doesn't Give a Person a Test They Cannot Handle" when You Feel You Davka CANNOT Handle It–Some Revolutionary Insights from The Bitachon Magazine

Practical Application of the Concept

Hope for the Tried and Still Trying!

"The Torah was Not Meant for Angels"—So It's Also Not Meant for the Chronically Elusive "Mr. Perfect." What Does that Mean for the Rest of Us?

The 2 Main Problems with Toxic Shame

How to Fight Toxic Shame & Embrace the Real You

Why You are Better & More Successful than an Angel

Some Chizuk for All Us Non-Angels

A Q&A Excerpt from Bitachon Weekly: "With all the Jews in Ukraine that are in danger, what does the Rav suggest we Yidden should be doing and thinking at this time?"

4 Questions from Rav Itamar Schwartz of Bilvavi to Help Us on Our Journey toward Truth

Link to a Short Class on What the Zohar Says about Scandals before Mashiach

The Ultimate Path to Geula

As Long as You Fight, You Win (Even If It Looks Like You've Lost)

Why Faith in the Ultimate Geula Makes All the Difference

"As Long as You are a Fighter, You are a Great Person!"

What If You Lean More toward Esav than Yaakov Avinu? The Perfect Mitzvah for Imperfect People

What was Really Wrong with Esav?

The Yaakov Avinu Category

The Esav Category

Born to be Bad

The Wonderful Reason for being Born to be Bad

When Lifelong "Failure" is Actually Massive Success on All Levels

Myrtle Rising

Categories

Jewish Blogs

Jewish Current Events

Jewish Health

Archives

Copyright Notice

Home/Blog

Most Popular

Kli Yakar in English

Aliyah

Contact