Rav Dessler notes that the "instruments" Hashem allots to each person are fine-tuned according to each individual's exact spiritual level.*

In other words, whatever we have (both practically & spiritually) is exactly what we need to accomplish whatever Hashem expects us to accomplish.

It often doesn't feel that way, but this is the spiritual reality.

Therefore, explains Rav Dessler:

Interestingly, Rav Dessler's states that if a person uses his instruments for spiritual advancement, then that person will find satisfaction in a physical & material sense too.

For example, let's say Hashem allots a person large amounts of money & success in business.

What if that person becomes very tense about all the business & money? Or what if his success goes to his head, making him greedy for more & feeling superior to those less successful than him?

Such people often suffer physical ailments (headaches, stomach problems, high blood pressure, heart issues, etc.). They feel impatient & disdainful toward their employees & close family members.

All this causes them to look for ways to relieve the pressure: drugs (prescription or illegal), smoking, drinking, affairs, overeating, meaningless travel & adventure, unethical behavior, and more.

They aren't happy.

​Despite how they appear on the outside, they actually aren't doing so well spiritually, emotionally, or physically.

The Me'am Lo'ez (Shoftim 6:6) presents a chilling story to illustrate this dynamic taken to an extreme...

Once there was a wealthy man who refused to trust in Hashem.

Instead, he strove to secure his future by amassing treasuries of silver & gold & precious gems on land, combined with fleets of ships on the sea.

This gave him the feeling of a safety net: "If my treasuries are robbed, I still have my ships. If my ships sink, I still have my treasuries. I will never go hungry. I will never lack anything I need."

Yet to his mind, even that security wasn't secure enough.

He ordered an iron door custom-made for his treasury.

It bore a lock only he could open.

Every day, this wealthy man entered his treasury to ensure nothing had been stolen.

At this point, we see how his obsession reached the point of absurdity: With such security measures in place, how could anyone steal from his treasury?
And isn't it enough to inspect it for breaches from the outside—why on earth would he need to go in & inspect everything on a daily basis?
And even if someone somehow found some way to steal, how much could be stolen from the vast amount?
Gold & silver weigh a lot; you can't carry much at a time.
​Even such a detailed inspection of the treasury once a week would be more than unnecessary. A daily inspection goes beyond all rationale.

One day, after he entered inside the treasury, the door unexpectedly closed & locked behind him, trapping him inside.

Despite screaming for help, plus beating on the walls & door, no one outside could hear him because of the thickness of the walls & door.

For all his efforts to secure himself against hunger, he indeed went hungry—surrounded by his treasure-trove of wealth.

At one point, his family & friends started to wonder where he'd gone.

After searching everywhere, they finally realized he might be in his treasury.

Knocking on the thick iron door brought no answering knocks or cries (as far as they could hear, anyway).

In desperation, they brought expert blacksmiths who, after much time & great difficulty, managed to break open the door.

But it was too late.

They found the fantastically wealthy man...lying dead on the floor.

His obsession with safeguarding himself against hunger and lack brought about the exact hunger & lack he strove to avoid.

​On the other hand...what if a rich man donates generous amounts of his money to tzedakah, plus uses his business acumen to help others (either by hiring or advising or whatever)?

This increases his spiritual satisfaction. 

By caring so much about others, he also makes himself a better person.

His generosity toward his fellows also causes Hashem to love him even more.

Yet it's true that even very generous wealthy people often don't achieve this level of contentment.

​This is probably at least partly because they, like most of us, swing back & forth regarding the use of their individual "instruments."

Generous tzedakah is one aspect of using one's "instruments" for spiritual advancement.

However, many successful business magnates still put too much faith in their own efforts & business acumen to both keep & create more money, plus they may also overindulge the material desires of themselves & their family.

So while generosity with wealth garners tremendous merits for wealthy donors, applying Torah values to every aspect of life creates true benefit & happiness, as the following stories illustrate...

A chassidish woman told me how, upon realizing how wealthy her father was, asked him why they didn't live in a larger home.

"We don't need it," replied her father.

The woman emphasized how much they all enjoyed the home in which they lived; it was a pleasant & spacious home.

But it wasn't more than they needed.

And she related this with obvious pride in her father's integrity.

After chatting with her several times, she impressed me as an emotionally healthy young woman who received a healthy upbringing and remained close to & fond of her parents & siblings, in addition to dealing with her own husband & children with a cheerful attitude.

And probably her ability to live cheerfully in a small Israeli apartment while raising small children during the first 5 years of her marriage derived from her father's attitude toward material possessions.

In Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life & Times of Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld (pages 229-231), we meet R' Yitzchak Tzvi Ratzerdorfer, a fabulously wealthy & very frum Jew who invested a tremendous percentage of his wealth in building the Jewish community of Antwerp, both physically & spiritually.

But his generosity wasn't confined to Holland.

In the early 1890s, he bought 10 houses within the Old City of Yerushalayim to enable the impoverished Jews to live within them rent-free, greatly alleviating their oppressive living expenses.

In addition, he bought 12,000 square amot of land outside the Old City to assist Jewish expansion outside the Old City. This allowed for the potential construction of several hundred units, of which R' Ratzerdorfer paid for the first 10 houses (including the first 3 years rent-free), plus a shul.

To this day, this neighborhood is known as Nachalat Tzvi, after its benefactor.

R' Ratzerdorfer also created a fund to support the aliyah of talmidei chachamim to Eretz Yisrael, plus another fund which provided the Shabbat needs for 10 families headed by talmidei chachamim.

During one particularly harsh year, R' Ratzerdorfer sent Rav Sonnenfeld 1000 gold napoleons for distribution among the poor of Yerushalayim (which Rav Sonnenfeld distributed among all groups equally).

Despite his incredible wealth, R' Ratzerdorfer refused to stay in a comfortable hotel when he visited Eretz Yisrael.

Instead, he chose the hospitality of Rav Sonnenfeld's simple home among the poor of Yerushalayim. (This meant inconsistent heating, muddy walks to minyan, outhouses, water pumped from a well, self-service without a household staff, and other serious inconveniences—a far cry from that to which the wealthy Dutch man was accustomed.)  

At one point, to the perplexity of those familiar with his generosity, R' Ratzerdorfer lost his wealth.

When asked how such a financial disaster could happen to such a magnanimous God-fearing Jew, Rav Sonnenfeld explained that the only sin he found in R' Ratzerdorfer was that R' Ratzerdorfer gave more than the 20% of his capital allowed by halacha.

After losing his wealth, R' Ratzerdorfer again visited Yerushalayim, where the kollel administration exerted strenuous efforts to return the amount of money he originally spent to build those first 10 houses in Nachalat Tzvi.

The kollel administration meant for this money to enable R' Ratzerdorfer to rebuild his business.

Initially, R' Ratzerdorfer accepted this money with warmth & gratitude.

Yet before he returned to Holland, R' Ratzerdorfer returned to the kollel administration & handed back the entire amount.

"I am donating the entire sum," he announced joyfully, "to be used to build ANOTHER row of homes in our neighborhood!"

Because R' Ratzerdorfer used his "instruments" for spiritual advancement, he raised himself to the level that he did not need the comforts of a hotel in his preference for the atmosphere of a tzaddik.

And he even remained a happy & content person without wealth, to the point that when the kollel administration attempted to help him rebuild his wealth, his greatest joy was re-donating the money to build more homes for Yerushalayim's expanding Jewish community.

This explains why tzaddikim are so content with their lives (regardless of their lack or abundance of health or wealth):

​They use their allotted "instruments" for spiritual advancement which, as Rav Dessler notes, enables a person to find satisfaction in the physical & material world too.

I'm sure hardly any of us possess fabulous wealth as one of our Divinely allotted "instruments." ​

However, whatever "instruments" we do possess (including the most materialistic "instruments") can be used for our spiritual advancement.

As shown above, the potential is definitely there.

This has probably been discussed elsewhere, but it occurred to me that a lot of what's going on over the past year has to do with the penalty of chenek—strangulation.

We no longer merit a Sanhedrin to conduct capital cases (and even when we did, the Sanhedrin only arrived at the death penalty less than once in 70 years).

So Chazal said that those who deserve a certain type of death penalty may receive it in an unofficial way. 

For example, one who commits the sin of toeva, which earns the penalty of execution by burning, may indeed die in a fire.

Therefore, because so much suffering highlighted in the world this year connects to chenek, it's helpful to look at that.

High-profile cases of death during arrest had to do with the perpetrator suffocating to death (usually from his own health issues & drug addiction, intensified by forcing the perp into awkward positions).

Symptoms of COVID-19 include coughing & difficulty breathing, with more severe cases causing serious breathing problems.

While hurricanes can kill via skilah (stoning), the most common way is by drowning--chenek.

Wildfires can certainly kill via sereifah (burning), but victims tend to die of asphyxiation rather than the actual heat of the fire.

And right now, you have millions of people affected by the smoke of America's Western wildfires.

Symbolically, 40 years of Californian environmentalism ensured that massive amounts of dead, dry trees & underbrush would "strangle" the lush forests—and provide copious fuel for wildfires. (See here for how that works.)

On the lighter side of it, we are forced to wear an oxygen-inhibiting mask. While not leading to actual chenek, it inhibits breathing, a mild form of non-lethal chenek.

So we definitely see a theme here...

What sins earn the penalty of chenek?

These:

• Committing adultery with another man's wife.
• Striking one's own parent hard enough to wound them.
• Kidnapping another Jew (and forcibly bringing him or her to one's property).
• Prophesying falsely (i.e., a "prophecy" that he never heard OR that he heard from another person, rather than from Hashem).
• Prophesying in the name of other deities (EVEN if it supports Jewish Law)
• A Torah elder guilty of insubordination before the Sanhedrin.
• Testifying falsely that someone had adulterous relations with a Kohen's daughter

(Mishnah Sanhedrin 11)

Needless to say, adultery has reached appalling standards of acceptance in society at large.

For decades, it has been both glorified & justified in popular books, movies, and songs.

I still remember in my teens as we waited to hear the results of the #1 Most Popular Song in the World that year. 

To my shock, it was a song that cheerfully glorifies adultery, making adultery seem like a playful pastime rather than the disgusting betrayal it actually is.

My siblings and I looked at each other, mystified.

It wasn't even such a great song!

Yet in addition to our agreement about its aesthetic lack of merit, the lyrics always bothered me. In addition to making adultery seem like a playful, desirable pastime, it implied that everyone engaged in it.

But clearly, its lyrics comprised a big part of the song's popularity—meaning that a large part of the "civilized" world identified with the idea & the attitude expressed in the song.

(UPDATE: Originally, I named the song as I wrote down this memory. Then I kept hearing the song in my head. "Argh!" I thought. "What have I done? And in the 10 Days of Teshuvah too, for crying out loud..." Then I remorsefully realized that if it happened to me, then probably it caused this for others too. I'm sorry. So the name has been deleted.) 

​Another song that hit the pop charts for years was sung by a self-professed believer in the gospels who got her start in gospel music. Her popular croon was an ode to an adulterous relationship, romanticizing the betrayal in the most appealing way.

We even sung it in our high school jazz choir, but needed to change one of the lyrics to make it less inappropriate for teens.

Because of the large church-going population in my school, it caused some discomfort for both the singers & the audience. 

Some people questioned its propriety for high school students.

Some wondered: What could the music teacher have been thinking? 

Well, considering his past, he was probably thinking: I can really relate to this!

After all, he'd been married 4 times; each successive wife had been the woman with whom he'd cheated on the wife before.

Each time, he had an affair with one of his 12th-grade students, divorced the previous wife, then married his student-paramour after graduation. (We met his much younger 4th wife a couple of times...and, boy, was she uncomfortable around us...)

So he probably felt it was his personal theme song.

Okay, my high school music teacher was not exactly the adulterer mentioned in the laws above. Furthermore, different laws apply differently to non-Jews & Jews.

But certainly, adultery runs rampant through modern society, both the glorification & romanticization of it, along with the practice of it.

Anyway, prophesying falsely and convincing others to worship idols because of a dream you had...well, I can think of entire religions which fit that transgression.

The other angle to that sin appears when you switch the English translation "idolatry" or "idol worship" to "occult worship."

The oh-so simple-sounding idolatry of ancient times was a very powerful & dark occult worship still practiced today, albeit in modern form.

And in the USA, children definitely turn on the parents in far greater numbers than ever before.

Even in immoral & violent societies, it was unheard of for a child, especially a teenager or adult, to physically harm a parent—even if that parent physically abused that child.

But it happens now. Maybe not the majority, but it definitely happens more than ever before.

Finally, according to the 7 Laws of Noach, sxual abuse goes under the category of kidnapping, which is an aspect of stealing. As we know, Noachide transgressions elicit the death penalty.

Such crimes are also obviously forbidden among Jews, and as we see above, kidnapping is a transgression which earns the penalty of chenek.

Along these lines, human trafficking in general & child trafficking continues to be a increasing tragedy worldwide. Very little is being done to stop it.

The Rambam and the Gemara have a lot more to say about all the above, but I don't know either of them well enough to extrapolate further.

But suffocation can also be understood metaphorically.

After all, Hashem knows that most people (including Jews) do not know the intricacies of Jewish Law & execution & how they connect to current events.

Let's ponder the following:

• How many times have you, as a religious person, felt that you must put up & shut up around non-religious (or less religious) people, no matter how appalling their behavior or conversation?

 

• How often have you, as a religious person, suffered jibes & tirades in either silence or placation because your nemesis came across some kind of exaggeration or outright falsehood about religious Jews in the media, and refuses to believe otherwise?

 

• How long have people with the true moral high ground felt gagged & unable to express (no matter how gently) their real (and truly more virtuous) thoughts & feelings due to fear of offending someone or being shut down or rejected?

 

• Or maybe you gag yourself because of deep-seated false beliefs?

 

• Maybe you don't allow yourself to feel so much joy & pleasure in life?

 

• Maybe gag yourself regarding your relationship with Hashem?

(Due to upbringing & society, many people fear Hashem in an unhelpful way. Many view Hashem as a punishing parent. Many fear cultivating a relationship with One who seems like He could be brutal & do not take comfort in the idea that "Hashem is behind everything." This understandably inhibits emunah & bitachon, and also inhibits the development of a deeply personal relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu.)

• How many people express the feeling of being suffocated, gagged, boxed in, or shut down due to the inflexible behavior of others?

 

• Don't many people express their distress as "I feel like I'm drowning in..."?

Interestingly, the most oppressive & abusive people often scream the loudest about feeling "gagged" or "censored" or "oppressed" when ANY boundaries are placed on their abusive behavior.

Is it any wonder that the most Leftist regions of America (the West Coast), the ones who feel most oppressed & suffocated by anything religious or conservative or moral or Trump-related, the ones who embrace the most liberal policies regarding drugs, toeva, environmentalism (which is really nature-worship—see above)...are now experiencing REAL air-oppression & confinement? 

Previously, their complaints & fears were imaginary, based on media-hype.

​And now they really ARE being suffocated. Gagged. Confined. Shut down & shut in.​

For years, Rav Avigdor Miller, Rav Itamar Schwartz, and others have been mentioning the tumah (spiritual impurity/blockage) in the very air.

But only the spiritually sensitive could perceive it.

The smoke from America's West Coast wildfires reached the East Coast.

All along the West Coast, people must stay inside their homes with all the windows closed (in summer weather!—and not everyone has air-conditioning) because the smoke is so thick.

Now the air quality isn't only spiritually bad, it's physically bad.

The suffocating spiritual pollution has now manifested itself physically.

A relative who lives in one of America's most toeva-tumah-infested cities (in the thick of the smoke, though not in the path of the fire) is forced by the wildfire smoke to use 5 air-purifiers at one time.

Now if that's not perfect symbolism for that city, then I don't know what is. 

Everyone faces their own unique challenge during the coronavirus era.

For all of us, it means vacillating rules & strictures, which often contradict each other and even contradict plain ol' logic. (Shul gatherings & weddings? No. Mass demonstrations, riots, and looting? Sure!)

Because of medical issues, some people fit into the category of those who are vulnerable.

For some, it means extended periods of unwanted isolation, including for those times they most looked forward to, like the chagim.

For others, it means cramped quarters with family members & homeschooling in a variety of stressful ways.

And so on.
​
Baruch Hashem, my family members are enjoyable people & I only have one small child around, which lightens the homeschooling burden (which, with the return of school, has changed into a game of catch-up; the 5-year-olds never learned to read past kamatz-patach last year and even that's shaky due to all the interference of the lockdowns).

And I'm what they call a "social introvert."

Meaning, I like people, but being around them beyond a certain point tends to drain me, rather than energize—unlike extroverts, who feel energized by social interaction.

It's not anyone's fault and it doesn't matter how likable & enjoyable I find another person; my brain naturally starts to shut down at some point.

With my husband & children, I'm less like this than with anyone else, so that's a big blessing. 

But physiologically, I still need a break.

And I could never get one throughout all these months.

Then, with the resumption of schools & yeshivahs, I suddenly found my mornings free.

Suddenly, I was luxuriating in the luxury of being the only person at home.

Ahhhhh...

I found I couldn't do much—just sit on the sofa and stare at the wall a lot.

It wasn't depression, despite the lethargy & feeling drained. And it wasn't unpleasant lethargy either.

I realized that it was the sensation that comes after you've been holding up a heavy burden for a very long time.

When you finally release your burden, you fall back in relief.

You don't simply pick up and start running errands & completing chores & projects.

No. Instead, you rest where you dropped. Your now liberated arms still feel weak from holding up the extended burden for so long.

When you regain your strength again, you'll get up again & keep on going.

And that's what I realized was happening to me emotionally.

I spent Day 1 & Day 2 of morning solitude unable to move much, intending that Day 3 or 4 would see me getting back to my feet again.

Then problems with one son's yeshivah and the dorm situation (due to coronavirus) changed everything, and I had a son at home all the time—a very energetic & cheerful person, but a person nonetheless—just when I thought my introverted self could start recuperating.

Another son (quite an easy person to be around) also kept returning home for one reason or another—to recuperate from a spontaneous midnight trip to Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai's tomb in Meron, to recover from dehydration (his oldest brother, who has a car, drove all the way out to rescue him & bring him home), and another time when he fell sick with a virus (not coronavirus as far as we know).

And I started to shut down.

Yes, I still functioned. But I functioned like a car with an empty tank, running on the fumes of the gas rather than the actual fuel itself.

(That is a big reason why blogging has been slow here.)

Feeling frustrated with myself, I tried to push myself, but it just wasn't there. (Whatever "it" is.)

I couldn't do much more than the basic routine (which includes getting my youngest to school on time every morning via a jam-packed bus—very stressful!).

Then a caring reader sent me Rav Itamar Schwartz's new booklet of Q&A on all sorts of questions of spiritual work & inner work (i.e., not coronavirus).

(I'm so sorry, but I cannot find a link to the PDF online right now.)

Basically, the rav explained that within a person's soul exists 2 opposing forces:
hope & despair.

Practically speaking, he says, a person needs to understand that just as the body needs to sleep, the soul also needs occasional "sleep"—meaning that during those "down" times, the soul simply cannot function at its best.

Sometimes, a person's behavior or thought patterns cause "down" or "dismal" periods. But sometimes they are decreed from above; for whatever reason, the person needs this "down" phase.

To avoid excessive acceptance of the despair, Rav Schwartz recommends internalizing the idea: "I will soon return to the way things were."

Emphasis on "I"—regardless of the situation, I will regain my inner vitality at some point.

And after reading this & absorbing its comforting message, I started to feel a bit better, able to function a bit better.

For a variety of reasons, my situation is that I was holding up a platter of bowling balls for so long, then just when I thought I no longer needed to continue with it, the platter was thunked into my arms once more, albeit weighted with basketballs this time.

And there you have it.

Anyway, if you're going through anything like this yourself, perhaps you'll hopefully be able to to take comfort in the fact that it may not be something wrong with you.

Your soul might just need some "rest" to regenerate itself.

Being that it's Elul & right before Rosh Hashanah, it may feel like this simply is not the time for a shluf.*

But who knows cheshbonot Shamayim?

​It is what it is.

*​Shluf is Yiddish for sleep.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Shoftim: The Jewish King, we hear about how originally, other nations always lived under a monarchy.

Because they NEEDED to. Otherwise, their societies would devolve into a "might makes right" situation, like how you see in many Third World nations today.

But Am Yisrael didn't need that.

Am Yisrael dwelled in awareness of Hashem, which gave them a conscience & a desire to be good & do good.

Rav Miller notes that monarchy is actually better than democracy.

Especially if you're American and you grew up with pride about having thrown off the rule of the British monarchy in order to be truly free, the notion of democracy being the lesser option sounds blasphemous.

But not long ago, I read an article about the advantages of monarchy over democracy (along with historical examples), and I had to admit that it made sense.

Certainly, if the king is awful (though Rav Miller notes that you can have an awful President too) or if you end up ruled by foreigners, then that stinks. (England sometimes found itself ruled by foreigners because with foreign marriages and education, they occasionally ended up with a ruler who was more French or German than British — to the point that the ruler of England couldn't even speak English well.)

Yet the benefits of a decent monarchy outweigh those of a democracy.

This quote sums it up:

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what they are going to have for lunch."

We saw this in Kenya, when a pro-democracy candidate ran against a pro-Sharia candidate (before his Presidency, Obama went to Kenya to promote the pro-Sharia candidate), and when the pro-democracy candidate won, the pro-Sharia voters went on the rampage and burned hundreds of pro-democracy voters (men, women, and children) in churches.

​There was no higher authority to stop them.

So much for democracy.

We see that today in the US, when people with loose morals comprise the majority of voters and nearly all the mainstream (and very influential) media.

A candidate with the most excellent record as a governor could not win a US election today if he (or she!) ran on a pro-life, pro-free market, pro-marriage, pro-family, pro-filtered immigration ticket.

Imagine a candidate ran on the platform of encouraging abstinence before marriage.

Waiting for marriage would improve society across the board.

Suicide & depression would go down. A great deal of juvenile delinquency would simply disappear. Abortion clinics would close. The amount of people living under the poverty line would shrink dramatically. 

Drugs, drinking, crime — we would see a tremendous decrease in these activities.

Yet we all know that anyone who ran on such a platform would be laughed out of the running. Despite all the studies, stats, anecdotal evidence, and common sense to back him up, he would never make it.

Even religious conservatives today feel they cannot advocate abstinence, so they advocate contraception instead.

Society has degenerated to where even the religious conservatives feel they cannot promote this issue.

A wolfish majority with a lamby minority wishes to vote on their next meal.

We also see this by how Mitt Romney lost by upholding traditional values and behaving like a decent guy, including both treating & speaking about his competitor (Obama) with courtesy — a courtesy which was not only not returned, but trampled.

We see this with Donald Trump, who is personally very liberal on social issues, but ran on a slightly more conservative ideology than his competitor, and only won by a narrow margin while being raked across the coals by the media throughout his campaign and has continued to be scoured (whether he does right or wrong) ever since.

I'm certain as to who's going to win this next election, and it won't be Donald Trump.

In Hebrew, the word translated as "king" (melech) means the one is the most capable of ruling the people, not just the one who managed to seize & hold power.

(On page 6, Rav Miller provides an amusing summary of the origin of Britain's royal family.)

Back in Judges, Am Yisrael wished to appoint the great Shofet Gidon as their king. They wanted this out of gratitude for all Gidon had done for them.

But Gidon noted they already had a King (Hashem), and with that, he humbly rejected the offer and Am Yisrael continued as they were: a holy Nation led by Hashem with no human king.

But as the bitachon (trust) of the people dimmed, the need for a melech arose.

And so they got one.

But as we know, that didn't end so well down the line, so now we're waiting for Melech HaMashiach to help us accept Hashem's Kingship over the world.

​On pages 11-13, Rav Miller discusses the songs of the wild goose & the domesticated goose in Perek Shirah.

He makes the striking observation that from the time it hatches out of its egg, the domesticated goose sees its owner as a generous & kind-hearted man.

This man makes sure the goose's shelter stays strong & protective. He feeds the goose generously. He often talks to the geese is a cheerful manner.

Little does the goose know that all this exists ONLY for the finale: the slaughter of the goose.

Everything the owner does for the goose exists to make the goose a tasty meal & maybe a nice feather pillow.

If this isn't an excellent parable for what's going on with the Western world today, then I don't know what is.

All those nice government officials giving us free stuff...we will vote for the candidate who promises us the most free stuff!

If an official doles out free stuff so generously & smiles so nicely as he speaks, then he must be a very good-hearted person!

What other reason could he have for being so generous & smiley?​

​Hmmm...

Humble words from a great Jew (Rav Miller on page 14):

On page 14, Rav Miller recalls when she shidduch process got stuck for one of his children.

They invested lots of effort, but nothing happened. Nothing even moved.

Then they received a suggestion from an unexpected corner, that ended up being The One.

(See? These things happen to big & important people too.)

And while we must feel & express gratitude toward people who help us, we must not forget to credit HASHEM overall.

Whether or not they succeed is decided by Hashem.

When we put our trust in people, we make a big mistake.

For example, the mostly forgotten President Calvin Coolidge (1923-1929) was probably one of America's best Presidents.

He was also a highly moral person.

He actually cleaned out the swamp (by ousting corrupt officials & installing decent men & refusing to employ any Klansmen); Coolidge improved rights for black people, Native Americans, and working women & children (without BLM or any other group of banshees screaming at him & rioting — just out of his own sense of fairness); he lowered taxes.

He appreciated Jews & Judaism, and was pro-Israel long before the State existed.

Here's a leader we can trust!

Yet he was the President who signed the 1924 Immigration Restriction Act that ended up blocking Europe's Jews from escaping to American during the Holocaust.

He had no idea of that act's ultimate effect, of course. Otherwise, he wouldn't have signed it.

(You can see more about that topic here: How We Should Really be Responding to Our Politicians.)

​But he did.

And that's just one example of why we can't trust people, even if they're good.

Everything comes from Hashem. 

​For our own best interests, we must turn to Him.

Practical tips:

Rav Miller recommends shouting out loud (but not where people will hear & feel unnerved): 

"HASHEM MELECH!!!"

God is King.

He says that as you walk down the street, you can think "Hashem Melech."

That's a tremendously good thing to do.

You can say it, especially if you're wearing a mask and no one can see your mouth moving.

If you're in a very noisy place, like under a city bridge where no one can see or hear you, you can even shout it at the top of your lungs.

And that's a very good 2-second act of self-improvement that can reap a lot of blessing.

One of my older sons loves hiking around Eretz Yisrael, particularly in the North, with his yeshivah friends.

Not far from the border, they met up with another hiker around their age, but no kippah.

As stated before on this blog, when Jews are away from media incitement & Erev Rav personalities, we get along better & like each other more.

Unless clouded by brainwashing, a Jew's gut instinct toward another Jew is to connect.

Along those lines, the kippahless hiker felt perfectly comfortable asking this obviously charedi group of yeshivah boys if he could join them.

They said "Sure!" and he spent the next 2 hours hiking with them.

Along the way, he revealed that he actually grew up in a religious home and despite his external secular appearance, he still kept Shabbat.

In addition, he recently returned from a trip to India and told them what he experienced there.

It was one of those creepy, disturbing experiences that makes you happy you're a Torah-minded monotheist.

If you do a brief search on the Ganges River in India — just a search providing brief summaries, without even entering any websites — you'll discover that the Ganges is considered "holy" and safe to swim in.

You'll learn that India's lowest caste uses that river to conduct traditional cremations and that a "spiritual" group called Aghoris hangs out there for reasons of "transcending the material world."

Aghoris even have their own yoga called "aghora yoga."

​It all sounds so spiritual & uplifting.

Yet this Israeli hiker had a different story to tell.

Seeing as trip advisories reassure tourists that the Ganges is perfectly safe to swim in, the young man (who hiked with my son & his friends) decided to go for it.

Yet when a dead body floated right past him, swimming in the Ganges lost its appeal.

Then he went to see the famous funeral pyres.

He watched as they ceremoniously burned a dead man's body on a heap of wood on the water, then he watched as the dead man's oldest son climbed up and ceremoniously smashed his father's skull. (This is part of the oh-so spiritual tradition. Frankly, I can only imagine the psychological damage incurred by doing this to one's own father.)

He learned that dead men get burned while dead women & children are simply tossed into the water (hence his experience of swimming next to a floating corpse).

And while he didn't see the Aghoris, he was told how they fish out the dead bodies and charred remains...and eat them.

How spiritual! How transcendent!

The Aghoris dwell in that area, surrounded by the decaying & burning dead, in order to recapture that childlike feeling of everything being equal (like how babies & toddlers can play with or eat bugs or their own "outputs" if you don't stop them in time & teach them not to): Nothing is disgusting, nothing is scary — everything is the same.

They believe wholly pluralistic non-individualistic mentality helps one to transcend the material world.

Probably we're all in one mind about this kind of transcendence: YUCK.

(See? We've achieved plurality & non-individualistic thinking right there. We're transcendent!)

If this hiker is like many of the young Israelis who visit India, he probably wanted to seek out spirituality and a non-materialistic society.

Yet he ended up with a lot more than he bargained for.

He saw where that much-lauded mentality of spiritual impurity that seeks to transcend the material leads to: disturbing death rituals & cannibalism.

It reminded me of something Rav Eliyahu Dessler wrote Strive for Truth Vol. II, Light from Darkness.

​He speaks there about using "the yetzer hara to acquire a tremendous drive to holiness."

From Avraham Avinu to Moshe Rabbeinu to Am Yisrael in Egypt to Ruth, Rav Dessler notes that the repulsively tumah-filled environment pushes one toward kedushah in an effort to escape or destroy the tumah.

After seeing where Hindu spirituality leads (although many Hindus reject the specific Aghora practice), this young man felt no desire to extend his stay. He returned to Eretz Yisrael and started trekking around the most beautiful parts of the Holy Land.

And though he doesn't look outwardly religious, he maintains his Shabbat observance, which is a sign of Jewish individualism.

Shabbat is set aside from the week; it's not pluralistic or the same as every other day.

Indeed, the Havdalah ritual on Saturday night is all about separating between the holy and the regular mainstream: hamavdil bein kodesh l'chol.

So when he saw a group of like-minded yeshivah bochurs — who stand NOT for "transcending" the material world, but elevating it — he wanted to join them.

And he felt like he could.

​And the boys also received a deterring glimpse of the ugliness inherent in an opposing spiritual system.

In Bilvavi.Corona.Q.and.A.pdf, Rav Itamar Schwartz addresses why COVID-19 has hit our spiritual leaders & other very good people (i.e., respected talmidei chachamim & other people leading Torah-true lives).

​In particular, we see this happening in America more than anywhere else.

Judaism describes the concept of Hashem taking a very good person as a kaparah for the Nation, rather than killing off, say, 1000s of people, chas v'shalom.

And that explains part of it.

But Rav Schwartz delves even deeper into what lies behind the spate of deaths from coronavirus among our spiritual leaders.

It's rattling, yet hopefully also a spur for positive change.

On page 24, Rav Schwartz addresses the question: Why America?

​There are many wonderful things to say about the frum community in America.

For example:
​

• Chessed, bikur cholim, & tzedakah occur with great generosity, regularity, and attention to detail.

 

• The beloved & heroic Hatzolah emergency medical service is an American innovation.

​

• There are frum American Jews who, despite all the temptations of the outside world, invest so much in keeping their Yiddishkeit alive & intact.

 

• The frum American community fosters many activists who work on behalf of anything troubling Am Yisrael, whether it's shidduchim, abuse, addictions, mental health issues, physical health issues, errant youth, shalom bayis, schools and much more.

However, a vapor of materialism has also infiltrated the community, and affects the community in ways that seem bizarre if you're looking at it from the outside.

Americans who got used to & even enjoy the simpler life in Eretz Yisrael describe a type of culture shock when they return to North America for a visit, expected to adhere to the material dictates inherent to some (though not all) communities there — dictates that honestly do not matter one bit & even cause unnecessary stress & inconvenience.

I don't want to give specific examples, but if you know, then you know. And if you can do something about it (at least within yourself), then you can.

Not everyone is materialistic; as stated above, much good exists.

But according to Rav Schwartz, that infiltration of materialism is a major reason the virus hit America so hard.

Needless to say, secularism & materialism infiltrate Jewish communities around the world (including in Eretz Yisrael). But you see the impact of secularism & materialism in the USA more than anywhere else, so the virus hit there the hardest.

For now, anyway.​

And there's an aspect hinted at in this blog's previous coronavirus posts, but it certainly hovers at the back of my mind and others have also mentioned:

...a feeling of something "waiting in the wings."

I don't know what you're sensing, but to me, there's a powerful sense that Hashem is holding back — yishtabach Shemo, Av HaRachaman.

Because of that, we're not really seeing the whole picture.

It's blurred because in His Great Mercy, Hashem is not unleashing the full force of it upon us.

Yet on page 26, in answer to the question of why Eretz Yisrael is seeing a much lower rate of complications & death, Rav Schwartz states: 

That potential increase in complexity and scope is hinted to in the contradictory & unclear information regarding the virus: 
​

• How far can the virus REALLY travel after being emitted?

 

• How long does it REALLY stay in the air?

 

• How accurate are the tests REALLY?

 

• How infectious is it really? (I personally know people who spent hours in the airspace of, including physically touching, people unknowingly infected with coronavirus...and when tested, these intensely exposed people experienced no symptoms & tested negative for COVID-19. 3 of them had spent a lot of time in the sun, a source of vitamin D, and in addition, one had been supplementing with vitamin D.)

 

• Can COVID-19 really be transmitted via the eyes?

 

• Is treating the virus at a hospital more or less dangerous than treating it at home?

 

• What are the long-term effects, including of those who tested positive but remained asymptomatic?

 

• Is it really better to allow people to die of loneliness & neglect than risk infecting low-risk family members & staff?

 

• For those who focus on the purely medical aspect, why are so many people ignoring the 3 studies indicating that vitamin D plays a huge part in coronavirus immunity? And that vitamin K2 not only helps vitamin D absorption, but also prevents clotting (which is how coronavirus has killed many people)? 

 

• And the really big question: Can you get COVID-19 AGAIN after the initial infection & recovery?

​Whether you have people putting their faith in masks & 6-foot social distancing or claiming that the whole thing is a hoax, there is a tremendous amount that we really don't know.

While the media-induced hysteria looks over-the-top when compared to the actual number of deaths & complications (MUCH less than epidemics like Ebola, Spanish flu, and so on, though a little more than flu deaths & complications, depending on the area), it could derive from this sense that there could be more to the virus, God forbid, then what we see now.

And maybe that's scarier than believing it is controllable via all sorts of questionable precautions or believing that it is a hoax or the flu.

To extrapolate even more from Rav Schwartz's words: What does all this Wi-Fi contain?

For us, the connection is both instantaneous & imperceptible.

​We see the result, not the process.

But it travels.

For example, to read lashon hara or fake news written in San Francisco, that lashon hara must travel electronically through the air, including space inhabited by holy people.

To look at unwholesome images & watch stupid movies, this garbage must travel through other homes and people in order to arrive to your device.

So all this lashon hara, filth, and frivolousness penetrates the homes & beitei midrash of these holy people.

And because they are so clean & pure, the tumah affects them more.

It's sort of like a population never exposed to certain diseases, so they lack immunity to those diseases.

Yet when suddenly exposed to those diseases, infection & death runs rampant in this formerly healthy population.

Likewise, on a spiritual level.

As Rav Schwartz explains:

In addition, there is the unfathomable way Hashem runs the world, which ALSO lies behind the infection & deaths of such great people.

(Meaning, if you focus on the Wi-Fi alone, that's a mistake; it's not the whole reason.)

On page 29, Rav Schwartz recommends reading the Ramchal's Sefer Daat Tevunot to better understand the spiritual dynamic & how to respond.

So that's some very bitter food for thought.

Intellectually, we know that when we sin, it harms ourselves (even if we don't immediately perceive it) and it collectively harms our Nation (by adding more sins to the National scales, weighing down on the side of Heavenly Judgement rather than Heavenly Compassion).

But did we know that when we invite a non-Torah wave to our device, it passes through the space of very good & spiritually sensitive people, harming them directly?

Those Wi-Fi waves infested with lashon hara, kefirah, time-wasting, and pritzut infiltrate the personal space of these holy people.

​I never considered that.

Spiritually speaking, this may be why quarantines ironically bring about an upswing in infection.

Yes, it LOOKS like all the post-quarantine renewed interaction spreads the virus, but people are tested less in quarantine (because they're not going out for tests).

Once people get out more, they also get tested more.

And this means more positives (if the tests are genuinely accurate, of course).

Though some people utilize the lockdowns to improve themselves spiritually, many turn to their Internet devices to relieve boredom & distract themselves from anxiety.

In other words, a person who might normally walk or drive to work (which prevents him from surfing) and then sits at a cash register or goes around fixing electrical issues in homes, or teaches a class (where he also cannot connect to fake news or videos of the best football moments of 2020)...this person in quarantine now spends all that time on the Internet, which increases the spiritually harmful Wi-Fi traffic. 

And wouldn't it be nice if we were all only learning Toras Avigdor or Torah Anytime or Bilvavi via these devices during the quarantines... 

But many people waste time (or worse) on their devices.

​This means that MORE foolishness, MORE pritzut, MORE lashon hara, etc., are traveling via Wi-Fi through homes during a lockdown.

In other words, quarantine increases spiritual contamination via Wi-Fi even as it lessens spiritual contamination in other venues (because people cannot go to bars, discotheques, football games, and movies).

So tachlis, what can we do?

Rav Schwartz mentions several responses, all interconnected:

• Mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice)
• Self-nullification
• Focus on holy individuality
• Develop "warm" relationships as opposed to "cold" relationships

This is all in addition to increasing prayer, Torah study, tzedakah, and chessed.

I'll be discussing the above (except self-nullification) in future posts, but please remember that Rav Schwartz emphasizes progressing according to your own level.

But just to touch on some of the solutions:

Regarding mesirut nefesh: What's mesirut nefesh for you might not be mesirut nefesh for someone else.

Think about wherever you're holding. Rav Schwartz recommends to start by taking one thing you find difficult & overcome it.

Even just a small amount of mesirut nefesh regarding one thing makes a huge difference.

One aspect of holy individuality means to focus on learning those parts of Torah closest to your heart. What are you really attracted to learning?

If you're a man, it doesn't mean to give up your learning schedule or yeshivah studies completely, but if you've always felt a hankering to delve into Sefer Yeshayahu or Orchot Tzaddikim or Chessed L'Avraham, then now's the time. 

​As Rav Schwartz advises on page 52 (with a special emphasis on learning in quarantine):

As stated at the beginning, it's best if you to read the entire PDF yourself to get whatever you individually can get out of it (which will be different in some respects from what I get out of it, due to the innate variance of "holy individuality").

And future posts will discuss other aspects of the PDF.

In His Great Compassion, may Hashem please bring the Geula sweetly & swiftly.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Devarim: The Pursuit of Happiness, we learn a shocking truth:

The happiest phase for Am Yisrael was our time spent in the Midbar.

But how can that be?

​Right in the main text of the Torah, we read about how Am Yisrael complained about the lack of certain vegetables, Nile perch fish, and quail.

Am Yisrael didn't even have proper homes; they lived in tents because of constantly being on the move.

Also, Hashem even states that he led Am Yisrael in the Midbar for 40 years l'ma'an anotcha — to afflict you.

Yet Hashem also states: "lo chasarta davar — you didn't lack a thing."

How can that be?

With everything that happened, how can it be that Am Yisrael didn't lack a thing and from this, Rav Miller derives this as the happiest time for Am Yisrael?

In a nutshell, the answer on page 5 is:

In the Midbar, Am Yisrael had all the clothing they needed, all the food they needed, a place to live, peace... (Remember, the Cloud Pillar paved the way smooth for them, laundered their clothes, kept out enemy armies, and protected them from vipers & scorpions.)

As far as actual NEED went, Am Yisrael truly lacked nothing.

Rav Miller makes the point that wealthy people tend to commit suicide more than poor people.

I also noticed that when I was a young adult, I learned so much about true generosity from people with less money. The less people had, the more generous they were with what they did have.

Wealthier people tended to be the stingiest and most likely to feel that they didn't have enough. (Not everyone, but it's pretty common.)

I knew someone who had a million dollars CASH in the bank (not just assets, but actual cash), and she always talked as if she were on the brink of financial disaster.

Via an acquaintance of my husband, we ended up spending a couple of Shabbos meals with upper-class people in an expensive neighbor in Israel.

They mostly weren't awful people, but I said to myself that I simply could not tolerate another Shabbos meal full of conversations like, "Organic garlic is soooooo expensive" and, of course, the sporadic charedi-bashing spurred on by what they proudly read in the popular English-language newspapers in Israel (even though my husband & I are obviously charedi & sitting right in front of their faces).

It's rare for working-class people to harp on how much things cost, especially things they can't afford anyway, like organic garlic. It also makes for really boring conversation. 

Like: "Organic garlic is soooo expensive."

"Oh, I know! Really."

"I mean, I looked at the price of the organic garlic and I could not believe it."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"And the organic parsley..."

Snoooooooooorrrrrrre.

​Of course you're going to be unhappy if the price of organic garlic upsets you so much.

​Also, people who don't NEED to work really do get themselves into more trouble.

And it's not just work either.

Rabbi Avraham Twerski told of a young alcoholic man who recalled that his only period of sobriety occurred when he needed to move in with an elderly aunt and take care of her.

​He ran errands and did her shopping and a whole lot more, and because she depended on him, he couldn't allow himself to drink during those months.

Needless to say, some addicts will still allow themselves to use (and abuse) in such a situation.

But for many people, having responsibility influences them positively.

A high school classmate quit smoking when he discovered that smoking damages one's singing ability (both the quality of voice & the ability to power the voice). He learned that the body's physical craving for tobacco only lasted for 3 days, and any craving after that was purely psychological. So he decided he just needed to pull through the initial 3 days, and from then on, he'd be fine.

And he never smoked again.

People involved in sports also tend to avoid major life mistakes, like addictions and so forth. 

I noticed that anyone with goals (a form of responsibility to oneself, at least) tended to behave better.

It's a generalization, of course, so it's not ALWAYS true. But it's OFTEN true.

But the more you have materialistically, the less you have in a sense.

For example, my husband & I worked for an American community comprising extremely wealthy Jews (mostly secular or traditional at most) and around 10 years later, we discovered that around half the couples had divorced in the meantime.

Going even more extreme: If you've ever known secular/non-Jewish people who grew up with real wealth, it's shocking to see how they degrade themselves.

First of all, they're incredibly promiscuous. They tend not to advertise it, but it's like they have no boundaries or morality in that area.

Secondly, they get so into hard drugs — because they can afford and their wealth softens the consequences for them.

For example, one girl told me about how she and other super-wealthy friends rented a penthouse, which they basically converted into an upper-class heroin den.

They sat around shooting themselves up, then passing out, then doing it all over again.

An expensive pet meandered about, soiling & relieving itself all over the lovely carpet, yet they were all too wasted to care.

So you had these young uppercrust elites passed out on the carpet, their faces not far from animal droppings.

How glamorous! (Not.)

Even stranger & more disturbing, she felt no shame about this. She thought it was funny.

Yet if I'd ever participated in something so disgusting, I'd be embarrassed to tell people.

Why would I want people to know that I'm perfectly fine with injecting illegal hard drugs into my veins and then lying passed out in what amounts to an animal's bathroom?

But these people are so out-of-touch & entrenched in their own elitism, they think that if they do it, then that alone confers legitimacy onto the behavior — for THEM, anyway. Like, the mere fact that THEY do it makes it okay.

Also, in Great Britain, you have young people with actual titles (Lord So-and-So or Lady So-and-So), and quite a few of them indulge in such crass drug-fueled behavior. But it's hidden more because of their spiffy connections. 

​And back to America: You see that increased welfare (which allows recipients to buy bakery cakes, steak, shrimp, etc.) for people who manage to obtain expensive jewelry and cell phones, cable TV, plus whatever clothes are in style.

AND if they're the "right" color or ethnicity, universities lower their academic standards for them. (Meaning, they need not achieve the same scores as white or Far East Asian applicants), plus they get more generous scholarships allowing them to pay less or even nothing for their higher education.

Yet theft & violence run rampant in these same communities, while only a minority of them take advantage of the advancement-assistance offered them.

They've also mostly thrown marriage out the window, with hardly any babies being born to married couples and children hardly knowing their fathers, which keeps these mothers & children in the low-income bracket.

I honestly don't know if it's possible to achieve a better outcome by withdrawing benefits because the work ethic simply no longer exists and we see that many feel entitled to resort to violence & looting to get what they desire when feeling deprived.

But the situation was originally created by rewarding people who aren't working or who aren't living responsibly (like having children out of wedlock with no financial support). 

A friend who grew up on welfare (in a community where welfare was the norm) remembers the dirty looks she got from cashiers when she paid for her Twinkies with a welfare check.

Because she was in her early teens & didn't understand how the welfare system was funded, she was just like, "What? What's your problem?"

Only later did she realize that struggling people working hard for their own income really resent their taxes paying for Twinkies.

​In contrast, you can talk to old-time Yerushalmis who remember when breakfast consisted of ONE piece of bread and ONE piece of cheese — and they felt satisfied!

Shabbos night meal considered of ONE piece of gefilte fish, ONE piece of chicken, ONE piece of kugel, some tomato-cucumber salad...and maybe that was it.

But even if you had more, it wasn't much more.

And they tell you they were satisfied!

My husband (who was born in Morocco and raised in Eretz Yisrael) remembers taking a tomato-margarine sandwich on white bread to school every day.

Everyone did that.

The white spreadable cheese so popular in Eretz Yisrael today was too expensive.

So was butter.

My husband can't remember why mayonnaise, hummus, or techina weren't options, but they weren't.

Just margarine.

He remembers gazing longingly as his teacher snacked on a large red apple — something sold only in "the stores of the rich."

(Yes, a large red apple was a luxury in Eretz Yisrael in the Seventies.)

He was only able to get hold of one himself when he was in his teens.

(It was a big disappointment; he said it didn't taste as amazing as it looked.)

And after all those margarine-tomato sandwiches, you should see how much he enjoys breakfast with white cheese and a cucumber-tomato salad.

When we first got married, I did not understand why he ate what I considered a somewhat pathetic Israeli breakfast while glowing with such pleasure.

​Little did I know...

If you'd grown up with only margarine, you too would enjoy gevinah levanah to the hilt (rather than viewing it as a limp, disappointing version of the luscious, rich American cream cheese — which is how I view Israeli white cheese because I grew up differently).

In his early childhood, my husband's family lacked a washing machine and a stove; they cooked on 2 primus stoves instead.

​(But they did bring their TV with them from Morocco because they thought TVs weren't available here.)

Primus (AKA paraffin) stoves were all the rage in Eretz Yisrael for a time, but I'd never heard of such a thing before.

​Here's a photo:

I really cannot imagine, especially getting Shabbat ready...and especially with all those obligatory Moroccan salads and dips!

But my husband remembers those times as the best (except for the large-red-apple deprivation).

With witty, engaging detail, Rav Miller goes through all the things we should be grateful for:
buttons, pockets, homes, clothing, police with warrants (in Slabodka, Lithuanian, police didn't need warrants to barge into your home), no war, and much more.

On page 12, Rav Miller puts vacation trips and "going out" into perspective:

It's no longer in our mentality to take advantage of quiet or "boring" moments.

And just to be perfectly upfront, I used to take my children out every Sunday in America to a Jewish indoor play area, only a 15-minute drive from our apartment.

Being cooped up an entire day with 2 young active children in my third trimester of my third pregnancy was way too aggravating.

In the indoor play area, I could sit in comfortable air-conditioning without worrying my kids would run off or get lost (like outside in a park). We weren't far from decent restrooms. And it was fun for me to be involved in their play because I could participate or rest as needed.

And they have really good memories of it until today.

But what I think Rav Miller means here is the whole culture of "going out" and engaging in all sorts of activities on a regular basis, which builds up the need to continue doing so.

For example: bowling...

Rav Miller emphasizes how much we must focus on enjoying what we have.

On page 15, he describes the enjoyment of eating an egg.

Rav Miller's son reported that he never heard his father ask Rebbetzin Miller for a certain food or meal.

Whatever she gave him, he ate with appreciation.

On the other hand, I knew a secular man who worked hard in a very prestigious job, and when he came home for dinner, his nose went seriously out of joint if dinner wasn't SUPER hot when served to him.

Meaning, if it was hot, that wasn't good enough. It had to be SUPER hot...

...or else.

(Fortunately, he did teshuvah and became a fairly nice & supportive husband later. See? Sometimes, there's a happy ending.)

But it just goes to show you how entitled some people become.

Yet Torah Judaism opposes any such an attitude of entitlement.

In the Mishkan Shilo magazine for Parshat Mattot-Masei, Rav Reuven Elbaz writes that the tzaddik Rav Ben-Tzion Abba-Shaul taught that when Gemara Ketubot 54b obligates a woman to cook for her husband, it only means:​

Ooh, what a misogynist, paternalistic religion!

​[sarc]

Needless to say, a wife should strive to do more for her husband than feed him boiled potatoes, but the point of Rav Ben-Tzion Abba-Shaul was to encourage profound appreciation & gratitude for any meal a wife serves that consists of anything more than an unsalted potato.

And if you combine the Sephardi talmid chacham's Talmudic interpretation with the Ashkenazi talmid chacham's exquisite descriptions of how good the simplest foods taste, then you have a recipe for enjoying any meal and enhancing shalom bayit.​

It's very worth reading the entire PDF because Rav Miller's descriptions bring these simple pleasures to vibrant life, and truly help with enjoying life more.

He calls this attitude "vitamins of happiness."

It's not easy in our times because we have so many temptations right before our eyes all the time, but the more we work on this, the happier we really are.

Toward the end of his life, the renowned sculptor Jacques Lipchitz started to embrace Torah & mitzvot, including putting on tefillin and keeping Shabbat.

He even donated his Italian villa to Chabad in Italy, where they use it for their invigorating summer camps.

His sudden death in 1973 prevented him from completing a massive abstract of a phoenix for Hadassah hospital.

Being a skilled sculptor & artist herself, his wife Berthe wished to complete her husband's project.

However, in an audience with the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Berthe expressed concern over the construction of what many considered a non-Jewish symbol in the holy city of Yerushalayim.

So the Rebbe showed her the mention of the phoenix in Eyov (Job) 29:18 and explained the midrashic description of the phoenix.

Reassured that the phoenix originated as a Jewish symbol, the sculpture was completed in 1978.

Many of us know of the phoenix as an imaginary bird associated with non-Jewish mythology & miraculous powers.

However, the phoenix is well-known among Torah Sages throughout history: Rashi, Gemara Sanhedrin, Malbim, Midrash Rabbah and its commentaries, the Maharal, the Chidah, Chassidus — they all discuss the phoenix, referring to it by its Hebrew name chol or its Aramaic name avarshinah.

Unfortunately, people took the story of the phoenix and minimized the spiritual meaning of the phoenix and its symbolism.

However, the true story of the phoenix is exquisite, both in its events & its powerful lessons. 

The story of the phoenix opens in Gan Eden.

While we know that after eating from the Eitz HaDaat (Tree of Knowledge), Chava gave of its fruit to Adam, she also fed the rest of the animals from this same fruit.

Except the phoenix.

The phoenix refused to eat it.

​Refraining from eating the fruit of the Eitz HaDaat earned the phoenix eternal life, which renewed every 1000 years.
​
Yet a hunter’s arrow could still shoot down the phoenix, or it could come to some other fatal accident.

The phoenix made it onto the Ark with all the other animals — but how many of the phoenix? 

Commentators differ whether the phoenix is one bird or more. After all, Noach brought at least 2 of each kind, male & female, into the Ark.

So some Sages say this includes the phoenix too, meaning that the phoenix is a breed of bird that lives forever, renewing itself every 1000 years.

Yet others say no; the phoenix is a lone bird.

Either way, the Gemara records a telling incident on the Ark with the phoenix and Noach.

Caring for the animals involved a lot of stamina & ceaseless toil for Noach. 

​At one point, Noach noticed the phoenix bird lying in its compartment off to the side of the Ark.

Realizing he hadn't yet fed the phoenix (which probably caused the weakened state of the bird), Noach asked it, "Do you not want food?"

The phoenix answered him, "I saw you were toiling and so I decided I would not trouble you."

​Upon realizing the self-sacrificing thoughtfulness & humility of the phoenix, Noach blessed the bird, "And may it be Hashem's will that you will never die."

And with Noach's blessing, the phoenix no longer needed to fear a hunter's arrow.

So the merit of not eating the fruit of Eitz HaDaat combined with Noach's blessing now made the phoenix immune to any kind of death. 

The exact details of the phoenix's renewal different from commentary to commentary, but the main idea remains the same.

For example, most say it renews itself every 1000 years, but the Tzemach Tzaddik quoting the Chidah says it renews itself every 315 years.

Either way, it renews itself after a very long time, but continuously renews itself to live forever.

Some say as it approaches the end of its cycle, a fire emerges from the phoenix's nest, burning the phoenix down to the size of an egg, then it grows limbs, developing into a full-grown bird and continues to live like that until the end of its next cycle.

Others say that the phoenix's body collapses upon itself and its wings shrivel until it shrivels down to the size of an egg, and then its renewal process begins. (This process sounds like it happens without fire, but I'm not sure.)

The Tzemach Tzaddik as quoted by the Chidah goes into further detail:

In this scenario, the phoenix renews itself every 315 years.

The phoenix feels its strength ebbing as it reaches the old age phase of its cycle.

So it builds a nest of parched aromatic bark (atzei besamim).

After the phoenix completes this special nest, it enters inside, faces the Sun, and starts beating its wings to build heat & friction until it catches on fire with its aromatic nest.

Interestingly, the phoenix feels no fear even as it burns because it senses this is the way for it to experience rebirth.

Anyway, it continues in this fashion until it disintegrates into a heap of ashes.

9 days later, a tiny worm emerges from the ashes and grows until it becomes a full-fledged adult phoenix by the end of 30 days.

At that point, it's youthful & free again, and it flies away.

The genuine beauty of the story of the phoenix gets lost among the cultural mythologies, which fixate on the phoenix's eternal life & recurring renewal of youth — as if physical renewal is all that matters.

Yet the true story of the phoenix — the authentic Jewish narrative — reveals much deeper and more pertinent lessons.

The story of the phoenix proves that nice guys really do finish first.

And that the real gibbur, a person of true might, is the one who conquers his inclination (Pirkei Avot 4:1).

And that yes, the humble really do inherit the earth (Tehillim 37:11).

(I know that scientists always focus on the repulsive cockroach as the hardy survivor of nuclear war, but it's really the beautiful humble phoenix who can survive anything.)

The story of the phoenix starts out in Gan Eden as an ode to the power of staying within your own dalet amot, of not seeking to be part of the elite and not giving into peer pressure.

You really don't need to do what everyone else is doing, even if it's eating from something as cool as the Eitz HaDaat.

It's about thinking for yourself.

And later, on Noach's Ark, it's about bitul atzmi (self-nullification).

It's about saying that my suffering doesn't take precedence over another's suffering — especially when I owe that person my life.

It's knowing with complete emunah & bitachon that Hashem takes care of everything.

Hashem promised the phoenix eternal life, but it originally meant the phoenix won't die of old age; it can renew itself every time death approaches.

But it could get shot down by an arrow. And it could starve to death.

Yet in its great humility and bitul atzmi, the starving phoenix refused to bother Noach simply because it saw that Noach was already overwhelmed.

And by suffering in silence off to the side of a busy zoo during one of the most devastating eras of human history — simply out of consideration for another person — the phoenix earned invincibility in addition to eternal life.

​And now we understand what Iyov really meant when he said (29:18):  

Desiring to be like the phoenix and to merit what the phoenix merited — these are very good attributes to set as your goals.

I wanted to write a follow-up to the post on the incredible Tzachor family in Kiryat Arba: Chaviva & Tzvi Moshe Tzachor: "How is It Possible to Abandon the Blind Baby? Instead, We Decided to Adopt Her."

While the story focuses on Chaviva (even though the father, Tzvi Moshe, played a significant role because he also saw the ad & wanted the baby, plus who else took care of Liat when Chaviva gave birth a month later to their 8th child?), the trial faced by their daughter Mina deserves a deeper look too.​

Initially, 12-year-old Mina's response to the neglected blind baby is disturbing.

Certainly, Chaviva never would have left them alone together had she known the depths of Mina's true feelings.

While it's easy to understand why Mina might find repulsive a baby with eyelids sunken into empty sockets and reeking of bedsores, her seething hatred & resentment seem extreme.

She even jabs the baby hard enough for the baby to flop onto her face.

But upon noticing both how the baby's face presses into the mattress and how the baby makes no effort to save herself, Mina realizes the truth of the situation and the danger of her own action.

She quickly seeks to right the baby back to her side (and literally right her own wrong), which allows the baby to breathe again, and causes the baby to emit a deep sigh like "a 100-year-old man."

This ignites Mina to realize how helpless the baby really is, which releases the compassion trapped beneath layers of hatred and resentment. 

In a quiet voice, Mina reassures her new baby sister that she needn't worry and promises to help her.

​And she does.

Mina ends up being one of Liat's most dedicated champions.

That initial spark of compassion fanned into a fiery idealism to nurture all special-needs children, to bring out their best and reach beyond any & all expectations.

Mina now runs the center her mother founded.

But retracing the steps back to before Liat entered the Tzachors' lives, how would Mina have been without Liat?

Probably a good person.

After all, her parents were clearly special & dedicated people. They were committed Jews, compassionate, and very dedicated to their children long before Liat appeared on the scene.

Being raised in such an environment no doubt produces emotionally healthy personalities.

But would Mina be the exceptional person she is today?

​Unlikely.

In Judaism, there is a concept of "yeridah for the sake of aliyah."

Sometimes, you need to go down before you can go up.

We all have dark parts of self.

Or, as Judaism describes it, we all have klippot (exterior shells) that cover our good parts, shells that need to be broken in order to release the beautiful spark trapped inside.

In order for the shell to be broken, we must access it first.

We can't do it unless we know it's there.

Without Liat, Mina likely never would realize that she possessed such a petty & dark side to herself, that she had the capacity to resent & hate an innocent baby so much simply because the baby wasn't externally appealing — because this wasn't the sister she wanted.

It was there whether Mina or anyone else knew about it or not.

And it would stay there throughout her life, whether she ever realized it or not.

But by Liat's mere presence bringing out such feelings, the situation forced Mina to deal with that part of herself.

Initially, she failed when she jabbed the baby.

But when she righted the baby, Mina righted her own self.

And then she could have just gone to bed after that, with that guilty discomfort of knowing she'd done something she never wanted anyone else to find out about.

But Mina took it one step further.

Not only did she correct her incorrect action, she took upon herself to help Liat.

Not only would Mina refrain from hurting Liat in the future, but she would even strive to both protect & assist Liat.

This ended up being a classic example of turning from evil and doing good, as directed by David Hamelech in Tehillim/Psalm 34:15.

Once that klippah was broken & Mina's innate compassion was released, it took her further than she could ever have traveled without that experience.

The Mina whose heart seethed with rage & hatred as she looked at her externally defective new sister is not the same Mina who now says about special-needs children like Liat:

The same girl who initially felt seething hatred now feels boundless love.

And I think this is a crucial point.

As discussed on this blog before, everything is from Hashem, including your flaws.

Anything bad about you, whether you were born with it or whether you developed it from your upbringing & environment, was designated for you by Hashem.

So there's no need to feel paralyzing shame about those aspects.

Yes, healthy shame is good because it means that you understand the difference between right & wrong.

That grimace-inducing "uh-oh" feeling you get after doing or saying something can be a wonderful indication you need to rectify something.

But if the shame is so intense that you cannot even look at that aspect of self, that you deny or minimize it, then that's not helpful at all.

And it's not correct either because your ugly aspects aren't your fault. In other words, they don't reflect the REAL you.

They were implanted there by Hashem IN ORDER FOR you to deal with & rectify them.

And Mina is a great example of this.

Yes, there are 12-year-olds who would have felt instinctive compassion, even if the baby's physical reality repulsed them.

There are. Those naturally sensitive, compassionate types exist.

But the fact that Mina initially felt so negatively doesn't reflect on Mina's true essence.

Instead, Mina's true self is the compassionate person that she became, the person who developed into a crusader for the same child she initially rejected, and then expanded that heartfelt conviction & dedication to all special-needs children.

Seething hatred flipped into unconditional love.

And I don't think it would've happened without the initial challenge first.

And that's what our challenges are for: rectification.

Even if we initially fail (as Mina did), we can still make the necessary repairs.

Just like in Mina's case.

The compassion was there all along.

​It just needed to be released.

Related posts:

• You are Not Your Flaws
• ​How Self-Hatred Blocks the Real You from Shining Through — and the Secret to Freeing Yourself
• Seeing Ourselves through Hashem's Eyes by Using a Measuring Scale of 0-10
• Learning Spiritual Growth from the Low-Life Butcher who Eventually Achieved a Good Name
  
• When Everything is Against You, Every Little Step Contains Even More Significance
  

A chilling story was told by Rav Eliyahu Keller of Givat Shaul in Yerushalayim in the Yated Hashavua about the kevurah of his father, ztz"l.

Three years ago, Rav Eliyahu’s father, Rav Avraham Moshe Keller, made aliyah from Argentina at age 79, fulfilling a lifelong dream. Rav Keller made his home at the Shomrei Hachamos senior living center where he became known for his love of the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch. He was never seen without the sefer, learning out of it every day and teaching others from it.

A month and a half ago, Rav Keller was niftar from the coronavirus.

Due to the pandemic, his levaya (funeral) – which took place at the Shamgar funeral home on the day he was niftar (passed away) as per Yerushalmi minhag (custom) – was held with very few people present, at 1 a.m. in the morning.

Another Yerushalmi minhag is that the children and grandchildren of the niftar do not go to the bais hakvaros (cemetery) during the kevurah (burial). This fact led to a painful situation of the possibility of less than a minyan of men being present at the kevurah.

Rav Eliyahu, the only son of the niftar, couldn’t go and neither could his two sons-in-law since both are Kohanim. Rav Eliyahu’s sister who lives in Israel and the four members of her family were the only ones who could attend the kevurah.

Suddenly, a man who appeared to be about 70, who was standing on the side during the levaya, approached and said that he was joining in to travel to the kevurah at Har Hazeisim.

The relatives were astounded that an elderly stranger would travel at 1 a.m. in the morning during a pandemic to Har Hazeisim and they politely told him: “You don’t have to trouble yourself.”

However, the man insisted. The family members asked him his name and if he knew the niftar and the man responded that he’s a relative of the niftar.

Now the family members were even more confused.

There were very few family members living in Israel since most of their relatives still lived in Argentina and they were familiar with all of them. They were sure the man must have made a mistake. Since there were many levayos at Shamgar that night, one after the other, they gently explained to him that he must be looking for a different levaya.

However, the man held his ground and without explaining himself further simply entered the car of Rav Eliyahu’s sister’s son-in-law who was driving to the kevurah. Along with some volunteers from the Chevra Kadisha, they now had a minyan for the kevurah.

After the kevurah, the son-in-law, still puzzled by the stranger’s presence, approached him and said: “What’s your name?”

“Gantzfried,” the man answered.

The son-in-law was sure that there were no relatives of the family named Gantzfried and was now even more puzzled.

The mysterious man returned from the beis kevurah in the son-in-law’s car along with another relative.

After they dropped off the man, the son-in-law asked his relative: “Do you know this ‘relative’ of ours named Gantzfried?”

The relative turned white. “That’s the name he told you?” he asked in astonishment.

He quickly turned around, craning his neck to see if he could still spot the man, who had just exited the car a moment ago. But he didn’t see him and even after they quickly drove around the area where they just dropped him off, they saw no glimpse of him.

The relative had immediately remembered that the name of the mechaber (author) of the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch is Harav Shlomo Gantzfried.

Rav Eliyahu said that he has no doubt that the man was a shaliach from Shamayim to accompany his father on his final journey due to his incredible attachment to the Kitzar Shulchan Aruch.

“When my father was young, his parents immigrated from Poland to Argentina,” Rav Eliyahu said. “During that time, in the period before World War II, there were no Torah institutions there. But there was a wonderful Jew named Reb Ze’ev Greenberg who taught Torah and instilled yiras Shamayim in thousands of Jews who had immigrated to Argentina from Europe.”

“When my father reached the age of Bar Mitzvah, Rav Greenberg said to him: ‘How fortunate you are for being zocheh to be mekabel the mitzvos. I’m giving you a sefer kodesh called the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch authored by Rav Shlomo Ben R’ Yosef Gantzfried as a gift and it will accompany you for your whole life. Learn this sefer and you’ll be zochech to be a good Jew and fulfill the halachos…and Hakadosh Baruch Hu will be happy with you.'

“Abba took the sefer and viewed it as a mission for life. He learned the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch every day, not missing even one day from the time he was Bar Mitzvah until the day he died. I asked him once how many times he learned the sefer and he said ‘maybe 30 times’ and this was 25 years ago!

“When my parents decided to make Aliyah my father withdrew all his savings from the bank. That night thieves broke into their home and right in front of their eyes stole their life savings and all their jewelry.

"My mother turned to my father in despair, asking ‘What will we do now?'

"My father answered quietly: 'It says in the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch that everything Hashem does is for the good. Apparently Hashem gave us a gift by making sure that we’ll be zocheh to reach Eretz Yisrael b’shleimus like Yaakov Avinu when all his wealth from other nations remained behind when he went to Eretz Yisrael.'

“My mother told us that over 65 years of marriage, she never once heard my father make a disparaging remark or speak lashon hara. If someone said something negative in his presence he acted as if he didn’t hear it, saying ‘the Kitzur Shulchan Orech doesn’t allow this.'

“My father had incredible yiras Shamayim. Once, in a moment of candor, he told me the secret of his yiras Shamayim: “The first saif (page) of the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch begins with ‘Shavisi Hashem L’Negdi Tamid. It’s a klal gadol (fundamental rule) b’Torah and the maalos (virtues) of Tzaddikim.'

“Abba lived with this saying his entire life and each time he opened the Kitzur, before opening it to the page he left off, he would turn to the first page and read the first sentence.

“Considering the way our father lived his life, we couldn’t be too surprised by the ‘mysterious stranger named Gantzfried’."

Rav Keller concluded the story by saying that he was told by morei halachah that it’s a mitzvah to publicize the story to teach others how many merits a person acquires by learning the sefarim of the Geonei HaDoros (the Torah geniuses of the generations).