In modern times, most people do not like hearing about punishment or fear of God or anything appearing "negative."

Some people endured throughout childhood a dysfunctional representation of Heavenly chastisement or yirah (fear/reverence of God).

Others experienced punitive punishments by dysfunctional parents and/or teachers, and never having experienced punishment or yirah in a positive context, genuinely struggle to relate to these concepts in the healthy & beneficial way Judaism requires.

And as understandable as that resistance is, it's also a pity to miss out on one of the core fundamentals of Judaism.

Initially, I also felt strong resistance to this concept.

And at the time I was becoming frum, most people teaching about Torah Judaism skirted this issue (much to my relief & self-satisfaction).

My resistance was validated time & again as I heard how our generation cannot hear about Heavenly punishment & din & yirah, and so we should not speak about it; instead, the focus should ONLY be on Hashem's Love & on the feel-good aspects of Judaism.

This is partly true, of course. Love & the feel-good aspects should be the main focus.

But not the ONLY focus.

Why?

First of all, I couldn't help noticing that these supposedly "negative" or "scary" concepts infuse every part of Torah Judaism, whether the halachic works, Torah commentaries, mussar books, or—well, EVERYTHING.

I also encountered teachers & writers who explained these concepts in an authentic & positive way—which helped enormously.

Furthermore, upon encountering serious difficulties & yissurim in life, I discovered the feel-good-only side left me without the tools to gain insight into suffering or otherwise deal with suffering in a meaningful manner.

Finally, by acknowledging the din and yirah and punishment aspects of Hashem, one sees fairness & justice in an otherwise seemingly unfair world. (For some of us, this glimpse of justice is highly gratifying.)

So these seemingly "harsh" or "scary" or "negative" concepts can & SHOULD be used positively.

In fact, these seemingly repellent parts of Hashem actually derive from His Great Love for us.

Yes, these too are expressions of His Love (even when they feel like the direct opposite).

Depending on your personality & past experience, embracing this fact may be easier or excruciatingly harder.

But just because it presents a challenge (and for some people, an understandably mountainous challenge) doesn't mean such a fundamental part of Judaism should be ignored, denied, or disdained.

For some of us, the knowledge that whatever forbidden pleasure we experience in This World will need to be paid back (either by suffering in This World or suffering in the Next World)—this is exactly what stops us from doing the wrong thing at times.

Yes, thinking of the great reward in store for us when we stop ourselves is wonderful.

Knowing the great appreciation in Shamayim our self-restraint or ability to change direction in the middle of a challenging situation—these also help us so much toward doing the right thing.

​Like this:

However, most of us discover that some urges respond better to fear of the negative consequences.

Furthermore, while many people focus on fear of punishment for, say, not saying the right bracha, real-life examples show Hashem concerns Himself with punishing bein adam l'chavero (person-to-person) transgressions—like any kind of extreme ongoing pain caused to another.

It's true that we don't always see that in This World.

Sometimes, Hashem lets an awful person live it up in This World to reward that person now for any miniscule good performed—and then that awful person suffers for all their awfulness in the Next World (without our ability to witness it from here). 

But we do see instances of justice meted out in This World.

​Examples follow...

Rav Miller writes the following:
(torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-hashem-will-wait-but-not-forever/​
torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-persuasions-of-the-yetzer-hora/)​

In a much later lecture, Rav Miller apparently refers again to the same girl & teacher (emphasis mine):

People don't like to hear this.

They like to go on with tons of excuses like:

• tinok sheh nishba
• "teen brain"
• having a difficult home life
• he/she didn't reeeeeally mean it...
• excusing theme with a disorder (for example, people—especially young people—with ADHD sometimes behave with giddy impulsion, insensitivity, and tactlessness)...

Or, if it's the perpetrator:

• imagining him/herself as the victim
• "just kidding!"

...and so on.

The question becomes whether Hashem agrees with these excuses.

Years of observation showed me that many—maybe most?—people who make nasty little barbs or humiliate others tend to consider themselves clever or cute or funny.

They don't consider their behavior truly wicked.

Even if they admit they did something mean, they categorize it as a "cute" kind of mean, or a meanness that's funny or clever.

​And that their victim deserves it in some way. 

Another huge percentage consider themselves a victim in some way.

Similar to the above, they feel their victim has it coming to them—the difference being they may not lighten it up with cute, clever, or funny, but outright anger instead. 

The "I'm the victim here!" types can go either way.

(Note: People with a personality disorder (PD) almost always see themselves as the victim in a situation, regardless of how irrational that self-perception is.

And despite what most PD professionals will tell you, it's generally not consciously manipulative—sometimes it is, but often not. If it's usually consciously manipulative, then it's probably sociopathy, not a conventional personality disorder. But PDs genuinely see themselves as the victim.

That's how they allow themselves to be so abusive. To them, it's noble self-defense.)

Back to Rav Miller's example above: Do you think the mocking student considered herself a bad person?

In my experience, highly unlikely.

She most likely considered herself clever & funny, plus she probably thought the teacher deserved it for being "pathetic" (to the girl's mind) or not up-to-par in some way—which makes the class the victim of the teacher's incompetence (in the eyes of this particular girl, anyway).

The girl also probably thought she could get away with it because she's young, she's a teenager, blah, blah, blah.

​I can't know for certain, of course, but according the situation described here, that's my experience with these types.

(Note: Having been a teen myself with teen peers, plus having raised & dealt with other teens, it's clear teens are aware of the ability to get away with certain behaviors simply because it's excused by society as "typical adolescent." The law also provides tremendous leeway for those under 18. And that attitude is considered normal & acceptable since the 70s-80s.)

So for some of us, it helps us to know that how ever funny, clever, cute, or victimized we may perceive ourselves, Hashem may not agree our humiliating or hurtful behavior is justified.

And that can help us rein it in.

(Please also note the rewarding & loving aspect of yirah: "it will ADD to you years"!)

In another scenario, Rav Miller says the following:

Here's another lecture apparently speaking about the same guy:

I think this guy's behavior showed particular repellence because it looks like he took his bride—a young innocent bat Melech—for test-drive & then decided he didn't like the make.

It's so callous & dehumanizing.

It's very humiliating & devastating for her—a public rejection of the most profoundly personal type.

You can't just do that to people & get away with it.

So yeah, he was likable & good guy and woo-woo, he was a real Torah-learner!

But being knowledgeable in Torah makes you MORE culpable.

Hashem expects more of you because you know better.

So despite everything...yes, being a jerk can get a person killed.

Here's similar one:

This is similar to the one above.

​Many of us influenced by secular Western society may not appreciate the severity of these infractions presented by Rav Miller.

But the more we train our brains to think like Hashem thinks, the more we understand the events around us.​

Some of you may be wondering about forgiving others & the severe result of another Jew being punished because of your grudge.

So Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender addresses this issue in Words of Truth Volume II.

He expounded on the importance of not only remaining silent in the face of verbal attacks (rather than respond with an attack of your own), but to also completely forgive the verbal attacker.

At the same time, he noted that Hashem does not necessarily forgive the initial attacker.

According to Hashem's cheshbon, the person did something very wrong—regardless of how you, the victim, feel about it.

In the above examples, Rav Miller notes the teacher may have forgotten all about the humiliating interactions.

It could be that in the teacher's heart, the teacher even forgave the girl, excusing it as immaturity & not intentional cruelty.

It could also be that the former kallot from the above stories also decided to forgive their former chatan.

I don't know. Maybe not. But maybe yes.

Regardless, it can also be that Hashem refuses to forgive.

And in that case, He doesn't punish on the cheshbon of the victim, but for Hashem's own Sake.

The point here is that keeping the above in mind can help a lot when we feel the irresistible urge to be cute, clever, funny...

...or when we wish to avenge/rectify perceived victimization.

​Regardless of how light or justified our actions seem in our own eyes, if it hurts another person, the above examples show how important it is to think it through more deeply before acting.

Thinking about the positive results for good behavior help so much.

But sometimes, only a fear of the consequences provide us with the self-restraint necessary to overcome our yetzer hara.

And that's why some of us find these anecdotes so helpful.

Why do so many hearts melt over pandas—especially baby pandas?

Why do some people invest so much time & money to travel to China, including a 2-hour ride to the panda center outside Chengdu, plus additional payments for the entrance fee ($9) & actually cuddling a panda ($307)?

Much has been researched & written about the panda's "cute" factor.

But upon discovering how the panda's existence stumps scientists because it defies evolution, I realized our real affection & fascination for pandas emanates from the panda as living proof of Divine creation—and nature's most adorable argument against evolution.

Evolutionists have most of the world believing that, given enough time, biology can mutate into a whole variety of unfathomably complex & sophisticated creatures.

For evolutionists, no possibility is too far out.

​For example, the panda bear could theoretically continue to evolve within bamboo forests of the mountains of southwestern China until it reaches this stage of evolution (or devolution, as the case may be):

However, that just ain't so.

In fact, the panda's current manifestation could never occur via evolution.

The panda bear is an anti-evolution phenomenon.

Why?

First of all, the panda's entire digestive system (including its teeth) is set up to eat meat.

Yes, biologically speaking, panda bears are absolute carnivores.

In the wild, giant pandas supplement their bamboo diet by hunting small rodents—but even then, meat comprises less than 1% of their diet.

In captivity, a panda will eat meat when given it (and digest it just fine!), but rarely seeks out meat on its own.

Not only that, the panda stomach is not built to digest bamboo.

The panda possesses a classic carnivore stomach.

Experts describe how the high-bamboo diet harms pandas by slowing its metabolism, making the panda bear sluggish, and causing pregnant pandas a harmfully short gestation, which thus produces an underdeveloped cub—even at full-term.

Scientifically speaking, all the challenges pandas suffer stem from its carnivore biology subsisting on a herbivore diet, which evolved over time and for some reason, cannot evolve back to its natural eating habits of meat (of which there is no lack in the bamboo forests in the mountains of China).

So the panda is stuck with a completely unnatural & unhealthy diet because of evolution & cannot "evolve" back into a meat-based diet, even though it is built to digest meat, meat would be healthier for it, and plenty of meat is available for the taking in its immediate environment.

​Instead, the giant panda continues to feast inefficiently on bamboo.

That makes no logical sense.

(BTW, all this alleged regression leaves evolutionists scrambling to reframe it all as the progress of evolutionary adaptation over millions of years. We'll see the truth below.) 

​The giant panda genome lacks the genes for any known enzymes that break down the plant fibers found in bamboo.

However, the giant panda gut holds 20 different bacteria that helps break down the plant fibers. Panda bears share 13 of those bacteria with herbivores (even though, as stated, panda pears are NOT biologically herbivores) while 7 of those bacteria are unique to pandas.

How did pandas "evolve" to create something that exists nowhere else (especially since, as you'll see below, pandas are actually devolving)?

How did it manage to "evolve" 7 of them?

Perhaps genetic adaptation accounts for it (after all, the bacteria already exist).

But even more problematic: Out of the massive amounts of bamboo a panda eats (around 20-40 pounds daily), it digests only 17% percent of any bamboo it consumes.

It takes the panda 14 hours each day to consume that much bamboo.

Furthermore, the bamboo cannot provide the panda with the nutrients it needs.

Even more bizarrely, bamboo contains a toxin that produces cyanide (yes, the deadly poison) in any mammal gut.

​​In other words, it's impossible for a panda to live on a diet of 99% bamboo.

​Yet it does.

Pandas are only fertile for 10 years & only at specific narrow windows during that decade.

Furthermore, pandas only get pregnant around every 2 years.

Six cubs remain the absolute most a panda mother might birth in her lifetime.

But most female pandas produce around 4 cubs throughout her lifetime.

But even those 4-6 cubs don't represent true panda reproduction.

Panda cubs often don't survive.

Why?

In contrast to their lovable cuteness, pandas make really awful mothers.

I know, I know.

It hurts me as much to write this as it does for you to read this.

I'm also fond of pandas.

But the truth must be told.

First of all, half of panda births result in twins.

When that happens, the panda mother abandons the weaker twin & invests all her nurturing in the stronger twin, leaving the weaker twin to die.

(Researchers insist this results from the mommy panda's lack of milk & energy to care for more than one cub at a time—however, as you'll see below, that's not true. So panda mothers are bad guesstimators, in addition to everything else.)

Furthermore, panda newborns are tiny and panda mothers are gargantuan.

In fact, at around 200 pounds, the panda mother weighs around 900 times as much as her 3-5 ounce newborn.

That's a rare outlier as far as mammals go. (A whale weighs 50 times as much her newborn, for example, while a polar bear mother weighs 400 times the weight of her cub.)

So it's pretty common for a panda mother to accidentally crush her cub by sitting or rolling over on it.

In fact, mother pandas have even unintentionally crushed their cubs while nursing.

And why are panda cubs born so small?

They're actually born as preemies.

Meaning, even a full-term panda cub enters the world with the characteristics & deficiencies of a premature cub.

​The very bones of a full-term panda cub are underdeveloped, making them even more vulnerable than previously thought.

One article went so far as to state one reason for the low survival rate of baby pandas is because "they don't have the right habitat."

Wait a minute—baby pandas evolved in a habitat all wrong for them?

Evolutionarily speaking, how on earth could that happen?

Combine the above factors with the threat of predators (snow leopard, jackals, martens) who all live in the same mountains as pandas & prey on panda cubs...you see how it takes a miracle for each individual cub to make it to adulthood.​  

In captivity, panda caretakers make sure to remove the baby pandas from their mothers soon after birth.

Interestingly, caretakers manage twins by alternating them between their mother & their incubator.

In this way, the twins are both fed & protected. (Though not always. There was that 2006 nursing incident mentioned above...)

If necessary, the caretakers supplement the mother's milk with special formulas, but generally, the mothers seem capable of producing enough milk for two.

So panda mothers DO have the energy & milk to care for two—they just FEEL they don't.

Most articles on pandas mention scientists' confusion regarding pandas.

Pandas suffer derogatory labels like "evolutionary cul-de-sac" and "one of evolution's less successful products" and "evolutionary dead-end" and "evolutionary mistake" and so on.

Yet at the same time, scientists focus on research that contradict their personal views on the giant panda's own contradictions.

(If pandas really do prove to be evolutionary dead-ends or mistakes—and they do—then that actually provides evidence against evolution. Scientists do not want that.)

Pandas remain full of contradictions, yet scientists continue to put out seemingly explanatory statements that, when pondered for a whole minute, actually make no sense.

So here we go:

• Pandas as Evidence of Devolution

For example, scientists crown the suicidally small size & weak bone structure of newborn pandas as "a brilliant breeding strategy" and "definitely the result of millions of years of evolution."

​However, between the newborn vulnerabilities & the lethally poor parenting common in mother pandas (not to mention deadly forest predators), baby pandas are barely viable.

As mentioned above, one article explained part of the reason for the low survivability of baby pandas results from not being born in "the right habitat."

So how could they have survived so long?

It helps to understand why scientists deem the incredibly weak panda cub as "a breeding strategy."

​Animal biologists theorize panda cubs experience a shorter gestation & "undercooked" development in order to conserve the mother's energy & resources (because she is undernourished by eating bamboo all day, rather than the meat she is innately designed to eat). 

​But this doesn't even make sense according to their own theories & evidence.

In this case, their evolution produced a weaker being, not a stronger one.

Pandas are less viable.

It's a case of "survival of the most sluggish and least fittest."

Furthermore, scientists postulate that pandas only switched to bamboo LESS than 5000 years ago—so where are the "millions of years of evolution" supposedly resulting in a "breeding strategy"?

(And remember, we don't even know if THAT is accurate because scientists derived evidence from what they claimed were ancient panda fossils dating back 5-7000 years. Are those actual panda fossils—scientists have fudged or erred in these things before—and is that dating remotely accurate?)

Scientists say this bamboo diet slowed the metabolism of pandas—which again, shows devolution.

Scientists claim that the metabolism of pandas slowed down to accommodate their poisonous herbivore intake.

To conserve energy, pandas hardly move in the wild.

(But maybe pandas were always like this. Maybe they were born this contradictory way. How can we know?)

Also, why are giant pandas "giant"? You would think part of their adaptation would lead to pandas the size of poodles. That would conserve a lot more energy AND bamboo.

We see how nutrition affects human beings & mammals; poor nutrition produces a smaller body.

So why does the giant panda simply get stuck with a slow metabolism rather than shrinking like everyone else?

Additionally, scientists go on about how pandas switched to bamboo as an adaption when faced with a dearth of meat.

But this lacks logic too.

​While evolutionists would have you believe that pandas introduced bamboo into their diets gradually (over millions of years!) until it comprised 99% percent of their intake, the truth is, again, scientists declare that pandas only switched to bamboo a few thousand years ago (or less).

Furthermore, bamboo is both mostly indigestible & cannot meet the panda's nutritional needs.

Even more vexing, bamboo is actually poisonous.

Again, fossil studies reported in the year 2019 indicate pandas switched to a bamboo-only diet LESS than 5000 years ago.

At some point, all pandas should have died of digestion issues, poison, and malnutrition.

Yet somehow, the panda lives on.

• ​The panda's miraculous metabolization of fatal amounts of cyanide-spiked bamboo 

Source from the prestigious Nature magazine (link at end of post): Huang, H. et al. Dietary resources shape the adaptive changes of cyanide detoxification function in giant panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca). Sci. Rep. 6, 34700; doi: 10.1038/srep34700 (2016)

For example, giant pandas possess cyanide-neutralizing powers, which enable them to absorb more than 65% of the cyanide produced by bamboo.

How did that happen?

(The panda excretes the remaining 35%—somehow without harming the panda as it passes through the panda's digestive system.)

Herbivores (like rabbits) naturally possess the rhodanese pathway necessary for cyanide detoxification.
​ 
But pandas, despite their actual diet, remain pure carnivores with regard to their entire biological system.

So how did they develop a cyanide detoxification system found only in herbivores?

Scientists will tell you, "Why, that's because pandas became herbivores over time! Evolutionary processes!"

But pandas NEVER became herbivores. Yes, they eat herbs (primarily bamboo).

But physically & biologically, pandas remain 100% pure unadulterated CARNIVORES.

In fact, out of all the species in the world, panda bears are phylogenetically most closely related to the decidedly carnivorous POLAR bear! 

So where did this herbivore-only rhodanese pathway for cyanide detoxification come from?

​Just to drive home the point:

​Adult pandas weigh about the same as a fully grown male. The amount of cyanide (55-66 mg) they consume in their daily intake of bamboo is nearly enough to kill a human—and should kill a panda bear...especially when consumed DAILY.

​Molecular mechanisms need to jump into play for this cyanide detoxification to work.

So simply increasing their bamboo intake transformed panda bears at the molecular level WITHOUT interfering with anything else? 

Scientists discovered a mutation in the T1R1 gene in pandas. This basically wipes out the umami (savory, meaty) taste in pandas, which they use to explain why pandas stopped eating meat—it simply no longer tastes "umami" to them. 

(Though the tastes of sweet & salty remain.)

This can make sense within what we know of epigenetics, in which behaviors & thoughts can activate or deactivate different genes.

Could it be that eating bamboo almost exclusively blocked the expression of that gene?

Possibly.

But that doesn't explain why pandas conversely DO continue to eat meat.

As stated earlier, pandas hunt & eat rodents in the wild, plus they eat meat given to them by their keepers in captivity.

​They eat meat despite this genetic mutation that supposedly repels them from eating meat.

• The mystery of the panda's thumb

Going through scientific articles with all their unscientific terms (speculate, claim, assume, theorize, etc.) and their contradictory arguments & claims (strangely reminiscent of the "twisters" common among narcissists & other manipulators), along with the need to familiarize myself with unfamiliar terminology (phylogenetic! rhodanese!)...well, it's making my brain sag.

But suffice to say that the panda's thumb—perfect for grasping bamboo stalks—intrigues scientists.

And now that the 2019 study of panda fossils indicates a penchant for bamboo LESS than 5000 years ago, is that enough time for evolution to come up with a handy-dandy thumb?

Genetic adaptation to one's environment is no big deal & famously mentioned in the Gemara as the ever-tranquil Hillel answers questions about egg-headed Babylonians, flat-footed Africans, and narrow-eyed Tadmorians (Shabbat 31a).

​But does that include thumbs? Don't know.

​That's all I have to say about it for now.
​

• Wait a minute—HOW did pandas turn from meat & to bamboo again?

No one knows. 

But as always, scientists are happy to dream up intriguing stories—I mean, develop theories.

(Similar to how the ancient Greek geniuses invented mythologies to explain their scientific quandaries.)

​​So the story goes that human habitation pushed pandas into the mountains, where pandas turned to bamboo so as not to compete with the existing carnivorous population.

(Between its submission to a pushy human population & its reluctance to compete with other carnivores—even to its own detriment—pandas come off as very co-dependent.)

Also, this does not fit with the scientists' own theory of evolution.

According to all the principles of evolution, a panda's instincts should cause it to fight for survival, not just acquiesce and be like, "Well, the bamboo is poisonous, lacking in essential nutrients, and indigestible, plus it causes me to produce underdeveloped not-so-viable offspring, AND it makes me lethargic...but what can you do? C'est la vie."

(Especially since pandas don't even speak English or French, but just Chinese, of course.)

And why did pandas not return to eating meat?

After all, they do eat rodents a bit in the wild.

​The bamboo forests host meat: rodents, insects, squirrels, monkeys, jackals, feral dogs, Asian black bears, martens, red pandas (who are not real panda bears, but more like raccoons, weasels, and skunks), snow leopards...many regular bears also even eat their own young—why would a panda bear pass on eating the weaker twin it abandons?

I'm not saying I'd be happy if panda bears ate red pandas or snow leopards or their own offspring. I don't like the idea at all. 

I mean, just look at THIS gorgeous masterpiece of Hashem!:

But eating meat sure would help the panda!

(Though I prefer pandas stick to less appealing mammals, like rodents, feral dogs, and jackals.)

I also wonder why panda caretakers continue to feed them bamboo? Why not increase their intake of meat to re-activate their umami taste & get their metabolism back on track?

​Let's jumpstart the sluggish, noshing panda bear & its preemie cubs!

Furthermore, all this worry plaguing conservationists about the amount of bamboo in forests needed to sustain pandas?

​If pandas started eating meat (according to their innate biology), that would solve a lot of the bamboo conservation issues.

​As pandas "devolved," don't forget that humans once hunted pandas both for food (though panda meat reportedly does not taste good) and for its coat.

​Also, people once considered pandas monsters and tried to kill them in self-defense (also for their pelt's medicinal & superstitious properties).

All in all, it cannot be emphasized enough:

​According to all science & logic, pandas should not be here.

Pandas are everything evolution isn't.

So now you know the real reason behind the panda's cuteness factor: proof of Hashem's Hand in the world.

Hashem even guides each individual baby panda into adulthood. (How else could its preemie body survive in the wrong habitat with a mother like that?)

Pandas melt our hearts due to their ability to vex evolutionists & reveal Hashem in the world.

​Every panda is a ambling, chewing, roly-poly miracle.

A pretty interesting & descriptive article from 2019 about why pandas vex scientists:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/12/191213142424.htm

For details about the panda's miraculous cyanide metabolation:
https://www.nature.com/articles/srep34700

A 2019 study indicating pandas subsisted on bamboo LESS than 5000 years ago:
https://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/pandas-used-to-eat-meat-then-went-vegetarian-but-now-just-eat-bamboo/

Many posts on this blog already discuss the importance of breaking out of the shackles of toxic shame.

But toxic shame plagues so many people for so long—largely because we live in a society devoid of Torah values.

​We need to break through this.

Constant repetition of the Torah view helps free us from the harmful effects of toxic shame.

Only the Torah system believes in the innate loftiness of the human soul and the very real possibility of picking yourself up to go on, no matter how awful you've been.

Only the Torah system acknowledges the superhuman ability of Hashem to forgive a person who is truly sorry and truly seeks to turn over a new leaf.

So with that in mind, let's look at what we learn from the Me'am Lo'ez interpretation of Melachim/Kings I:15:16-20.
www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/15899/showrashi/true#v16

King Asa, the king of Yehudah & a great-great-grandson of David Hamelech (via Shlomo Hamelech), proved himself a pious king by undoing much of the damage inflicted by his father Aviyah & his grandfather Rechavam (Rechovoam).

During his 41-year reign, King Asa accomplished massive feats in the restoration of Torah-true Judaism in his kingdom.

Early in his reign, the mighty king of Kush attacked the kingdom of Yehudah with the intent to plunder its treasures.

It looked like an easy win because the Kush army vastly outnumber the Yehudi army.

Yet King Asa turned to Hashem, Who made the army of Yehudah victorious against the might Kush.

Part of the miraculous victory included King Asa's pursuit of the fleeing enemy & his success in recovering the treasures & other loot stolen from the royal palace and the Beit Hamikdash by Shishak of Egypt.

This unbelievable victory woke up many in Am Yisrael, who saw Hashem's Hand with obvious clarity in the entire process. Pious & good-hearted members of the other 10 Tribes of Yisrael headed toward Yehudah to live under rule of this king whom Hashem clearly supported.

Other nations of that time also viewed Yehudah with newfound respect.

Yet King Asa soon faced a new nemesis: King Baasha, the king of Yisrael.

Alarmed by King Baasha's intimidation and King Baasha's alliance with the king of Syria, King Asa made an odd about-face.

Instead of relying on his trust-worthy Neviim/Prophets as before, King Asa turned to his regular counselors, who recommended playing politics with the king of Syria.

King Asa did so, rather than trusting in Hashem and tefillah.

King Asa won that particular battle against King Baasha, but that was not good enough.

Chanani the Seer came to King Asa and told him that had King Asa placed his trust in Hashem (rather than relying on the king of Syria) and fought King Baasha all by himself, Hashem would've granted King Asa full victory and the entire Am Yisrael would've been united again under one king—King Asa!

In other words, had King Asa listened to the Neviim and relied solely on Hashem for victory, he would have succeeded in:

• becoming king of the entire Am Yisrael
• re-uniting the split Nation into one powerful kingdom, similar to the kingdom of Shlomo Hamelech.
• fighting & overcoming Syria too (rather than bribing them, as he ended up doing)

Think of the positive ramifications that would echo into our times.

The entire Jewish history from that point would have been different.
​
What a massive blunder!

Not surprisingly, King Asa did not enjoy hearing about this missed opportunity.

​As a messenger of Hashem, Chanani only meant to inspire King Asa to do teshuvah.

Instead, the message angered King Asa & he rebelled against it.

Even though Chanani acted only as Hashem's helpful messenger, King Asa persecuted Chanani.

When people sided with Chanani, King Asa persecuted them too.

​For the rest of King Asa's reign, he suffered harassment & fighting from King Baasha.

Yet had he done teshuvah in response to Chanani's well-intended words, everything could have been different.

That was his worst mistake & ultimate missed opportunity: not doing teshuvah.

Despair overwhelmed King Asa, and that despair warped into anger—anger at an innocent victim.

​(This is exactly what toxic shame does too.)

In contrast, Chazal praises the awful King Rechavam (King Asa's grandfather) for listening to the Navi Shemayah.

When Rechavam lost the 10 Tribes & Shemayah HaNavi warned him not to regain them by force, King Rechavam listened.

For all those years he obeyed Hashem's message from Shemayah HaNavi, King Rechavam's kingdom enjoyed peace & prosperity.

So too King Asa's acceptance of Chanani's Divine message and a response of teshuvah could have turned things around for him, despite the massive lost opportunity.

As the Me'am Lo'ez states (Rabbi Nathan Bushwick's English translation of Melachim I, published by Moznaim, page 365):

Probably, you have not made any blunder as big as King Asa's.

Like, the 10 Tribes do not remain lost because of anything you did or didn't do.

You never possessed the potential to bring Am Yisrael in Eretz Yisrael back to Solomonic peace, piety, power, and prosperity—and the non-existence of a kingdom similar to Shlomo Hamelech's has nothing to do with you personally.

Our current lack of reign over Syria is in no way any fault of yours.

Furthermore, you are probably nowhere near as faulty as King Rechavam, who split the kingdom, allowed the introduction of idol worship, and a whole slew of harmful stuff—yet simply by obeying Hashem word in ONE area (remember, he still had all that idol-worshipping occult stuff going on), he merited peace & prosperity for as long as his renewed obedience to God (in that ONE area) remained.

Have you caused a generations-long split in Am Yisrael or introduced widespread occult worship?

See? You're not so bad!

Your mistakes, failures, and blunders aren't so bad!

So if there was a chance for them, there's definitely a chance for you.

It's a tremendous kal v'chomer.

As the Me'am Lo'ez states, Hashem still loves you and has NOT abandoned you!

The lives of King Asa & King Rechavam show us that no matter how badly you've messed up, THERE IS STILL HOPE.

Pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and keep moving FORWARD.

"Trust Hashem, remain faithful to Hashem...

...and you can still enjoy great blessing."

Follow-up post:
How to Learn from King Shaul's Ultimate Mistake

The following is a helpful exercise from Dr. Miriam Adahan (used with permission—thank you very much!) to release stress & tension and to center yourself:

Each fingertip is connected to a different organ – lungs, heart, liver, kidneys

When you EXHALE twice as long as you INHALE, you lower cortisol and switch from the anxiety-provoking SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM to the calming PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM.

This requires constant practice, especially in today’s tense environment.

FIRST IDEA
Take a short breath in and then touch the thumb to the index finger as you exhale twice as long

Touch thumb to middle finger. Inhale and exhale.

Thumb to ring finger. Inhale and exhale slowly.

Thumb to baby finger. Inhale and exhale slowly and calmly.

SECOND IDEA
State an affirmation as you touch each finger, for example:

INDEX FINGER:
Hashem is pointing the way for me.

It’s safe to feel safe. Hashem is guiding me right now.

It’s OKAY to be me.

MIDDLE FINGER (The tefillin finger, connected to the heart):
Hashem is giving me everything I need ATPI (At This Present Instant) and ATHA (According To His Will).

With each DAYENU, I scrape away the lies that have blinded me to His love.

RING FINGER:
Hashem loves me more than I can possibly imagine.

There is no duality. We are one, like a ring, with no beginning and no end.

BABY FINGER:
I am like a nursing baby, trusting Hashem like a baby, not worrying about the next meal or what will happen in the future.

I give myself permission to feel calm and trusting.

The name of the game is rejection.

The Haftarah for Parshat Chukat is Shoftim/Judges 11:1-33—the saga of Yiftach/Jephteh.

This saga receives most of its attention because of the vow Yiftach made, which was not handled properly & therefore affected his daughter tragically (whether she actually died or spent her remain years in mountain-dwelling solitude; the commentaries say both).

However, the striking aspect of Yiftach's story really lies in why such a person merited the position of Shofet/Judge.

He ranks as one of the 3 lowest-level Judges (Shimshon & Gideon are the other 2).

The Sages consider Yiftach an am ha'aretz. Yiftach also comes from lackluster yichus.

After being chased off his own Tribal land by both his own half-brothers AND his respected elders, Yiftach ended up outside of Eretz Yisrael in the land of Tov as the head of a bunch of empty people & leading a materially good life. (It sort of sounds like the ancient Middle East equivalent of moving to Malibu or Tahiti.)

No one ever came to his aid. His own Tribe, his own family, and all of Am Yisrael basically abandoned him.

Yet when his Tribe needed him, he came back.

Yiftach left behind all his worldly pleasure & kavod to help out the very people who'd hurt him most.

The SAME ones!

Furthermore, as Shofet, he judged them without favoritism or resentment throughout his entire service: pure, unadulterated fairness & justice.

​And if you go through Tanach, you find among the greatest this same dynamic again & again & again. 

It's as if in order to really be great & make it as a true Gadol, you need to undergo one of the most painful & heart-shredding experiences ever: rejection by the very people who should love you the most—by the very people who should support you: your own people.

​Today, so many people suffer rejection of some type for whatever reason:

• Baalei teshuvah & converts may feel rejected for not being FFB.
• Many baalei teshuvah & converts also experience rejection of some sort by their families or cultures of origin.
• Non-white Jews may feel rejection due to their race.
• An immigrant often experiences some kind of rejection or lack of sensitivity in their new culture.
• Widows, divorcees, people with chronic illness, disabled people, etc. tend to experience some form of rejection, discrimination, or insensitivity at some point.
• Sephardi Jews may feel rejected due to their ethnicity (including nusach, dress, & customs)
• Chassidim can feel rejected by non-Chassidim
• Litvaks can feel rejected by Chassidim
• Rejection can occur from one Chassidic group to another.
• A child feels persecuted by a teacher.
• A child is persecuted or rejected by a school or yeshivah.
• A child experienced bullying from his or her peers.
• A child feels rejected by a parent.
• A person feels rejected by a rabbi or rebbetzin.
• One spouse experiences rejection as abuse from the other spouse.
• Siblings sometimes bully or snub one another.

The list goes on & on.

Unfortunately, the response to this always ends up in the form of exhortations to be nice to others.

Raising awareness.

Raising awareness & calling for sensitivity are good & important actions.

However, they never achieve their intended goal because there will always be people who either don't care (i.e., not very nice or even abusive people) or simply because people aren't perfect.

For example, even normally sensitive kind-hearted people can find themselves in a situation where they mess up, lack sensitivity for that particular situation, or find themselves in a weak moment (due to their own stress, exhaustion, pain, or illness).

Conversely, the elephant in the room tends to be how some people who complain about rejection exhibit extremely difficult behaviors, which prompt even the nicest people to avoid them.

They can be: bitter, cynical, mocking, controlling, manipulative, drama queens, complaining, critical, hypocritical...and yet I've personally heard these types express shock, outrage, and betrayal when others don't give them what they want.

They go into this O-Woe-Is-Me mode & can sound very convincing. 

And no matter how compassionately & sensitively you try, you cannot explain to them their part in the negative dynamics.

They refuse to even entertain the idea that maybe they cause their own rejection via their own insufferable behavior.

However, the points here apply to them too!

Whether the rejection comes from others or from your own not-so-sterling middot, the principles & strategies laid out here remain the same. 

Reading through Tanach struck home the realization that most of us simply MUST go through rejection by our nearest & dearest (whether family or community or religious authorities or all of the above) in order to become great & complete a very important tikkun.

My disclaimer here is that it's very easy to write objectively & theoretically about this most scarring type of rejection when I'm sitting in the comfort of my kitchen & not experiencing or smarting from any horrid rejection at this very moment.

But please realize: When I undergo this kind of rejection (and I have), I feel just as devastated by it as you do.

Rejection by your own causes tremendous anguish.

That cannot be minimized.

The people you care about, the people you respect & crave their approval (and who, if they follow basic halachah, should also care about you—at the very least, they should beware of stumbling in onaat devarim or other person-to-person sins)...

​...their rejection hurts the most.

It's much worse than rejection by a stranger or Jew-hatred from a non-Jew.

Jew-hatred can really hurt (especially if it gets physical or weaponized), but it's not as emotionally excruciating as when it comes from your own.

BECAUSE rejection by your own feels so devastating, THAT is why it either makes you or breaks you.

(It it does break a lot of people.)

Nothing else in the world can challenge you like rejection by your own.

​And that's why Yiftach merited what he merited.

On his own, Yiftach did not deserve to be a Shofet.

But as someone who rose so nobly above the worst kind of rejection?

He became so great, he earned an eternal position in Tanach as a Shofet, with his personal story clearly written out for all time.

Avoiding the personalization of rejection as much as we can helps guide us to our destination.

Many try to convince us that it's solely a social problem that affects all of us EXACTLY THE SAME.

They're sincere, well-meaning people. That's honestly how they see things.

Meaning, they try to convince us that if you are this-and-such, you will go through this-and-such unpleasant experience.

However, a thorough clear-eyed examination of our communities prove that is simply not true as a certainty.

(Meaning, it's true individually, but not as an absolute.)

For example, not every non-white Jew experiences discrimination.

Not every child suffers in school.

Not every spouse suffers in a rejecting marriage.

Not every person who consults with a rabbi or rebbetzin suffers unwarranted harshness, bad advice, and rejection.

I've talked to divorcees who felt they received great support in their community. One expressed appreciation for her community's shemirat halashon to the point that many people did not even know she was divorced!

​And I've seen divorcees receive a lot of support (including one who did not deserve it, but people helped her so her child wouldn't suffer as much).

We see that even in the same situation, one person enjoys a positive experience while the other suffers a negative experience.

For example, one child thrived in a school while another suffered in that same school.

A spouse who acted like a jerk in a first marriage goes on to be good in a second marriage (making it look like the problem must have been with the other spouse—even if that's not true).

One non-FFB feels accepted by their frum community while another feels rejected by that same community.

One divorcee receives support while another faces rejection.

External reasons often exist for the above dichotomies, but the point is that the nisayon of rejection comes from Hashem.

​It does not HAVE to be that way...but for THAT person, for whatever the reason, it IS that way.

And so...it's uncomfortable to say the following, but I cannot help noticing that:

If you have the potential for true greatness, you simply must experience rejection from your own fellows at some point.

Many people who feel rejected (including OTD youth) receive comfort from knowing that David Hamelech & so many others experienced rejection too.

However, it's SO MUCH more than that.

David Hamelech could NEVER have achieved who he was & what he did (including being the progenitor of Mashiach) WITHOUT having experienced rejection by his own brothers, his father, King Shaul, and many more.

Ruth not only stood out as a lone convert in the Tribe of Yehudah, but she looked different too.

The difference between a Moavite & a Yisrael was obvious at first sight.

​We don't know how Moavites looked, but they did not look like Bnei Yisrael.

Not only that, Am Yisrael hated Moav because of Moav's terrible treatment of Am Yisrael.

They were sort of like the Nazis or the Cossacks of that time.

And here comes Ruth, with her obviously Moavite appearance.

How well did she speak Hebrew? What kind of accent did she have?

I don't know.

One midrash says that initially, Boaz needed to protect Ruth from the young men because the young men wanted to throw her off a cliff in their great hatred & rage against anything Moav. (Heard this in a Rabbi Wallerstein shiur).

Yet Ruth persevered.

She is eternally remembered as the paradigm of loyalty—which led to royalty.

Ruth entered into the lineage of Mashiach.

In fact, if you look throughout the lineage of Mashiach, it's riddled with rejection.

Miriam HaNeviah faced humiliating rejection with great bitachon & emunah—and merited to become an ancestor of Mashiach via her marriage to Kalev ben Yafuneh from Shevet Yehudah. (Miriam originally hailed from Shevet Levi.)

This is why it is so important for people to take their experience of rejection to the next level.

Yes, take comfort from stories of our greatest who suffered rejection from their own.

​But realize too that's also part of a vital (albeit excruciating) process.

Even in modern times, we come across stories of modern great people facing rejection:
Rav Avigdor Miller, Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender, the Satmar Rav, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rav Aryeh Levine, Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, and many more dealt with rejection from fellow Jews.

People slandered them with bald-faced lies behind their back.

They experienced insults to their face.

They don't emphasize the abuse much, so you need to infer it from what others say or from the rare occasions they mention it. Sometimes, you need to read between the lines of their humor to perceive the maltreatment they suffered. 

And the rejection came from both frum & non-frum people.

​In the Bitachon Weekly, a story of a very big rav appeared in which someone passing by him while the rav was learning overheard the rav murmuring prayers that his wife would be nice to him (or something like that).

He was known for having a difficult wife, no matter how nicely he treated her.

In pre-WWII & Holocaust memoirs like A Daughter of Two Mothers, Leichu Fruchter recalls the well-intentioned yet cruel & greedy act she and her mother suffered. Her mother especially suffered from this act for years.

Yes, they both noted that seemingly frum Jews carried out this act. And at least one shul rabbi (not a Gadol, just a pulpit rabbi) knew about it, yet did nothing to rectify the terrible misdeed.

But at the same time, this did not detract from the many other wonderful, special frum Jews they knew & loved. 

In fact, neither Leichu nor her mother made this the center of their lives. It provided a monumental nisayon for Leichu's mother—one she astoundingly managed to overcome.

And that catapulted Leichu's mother into true sainthood.

(For more on that story—if you don't mind spoilers—you can read this: http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/scaling-the-steepest-mountain)

Also, Leah Kaufman's heart-wrenching memoir Live! Remember! Tell the World!: The Story of a Hidden Child Survivor of Transnistria includes a couple of disturbing incidents such as when around age 10, Leah was discovered by a couple of secular Jewish traitors while she was posing as a non-Jew during the Holocaust after her entire family was murdered.

They shoved her on a Nazi train full of Jews bound for the inhuman death camp Transnistria. From that train, she watched in shock, rage, and terror as one of the traitors held out his hand to a Nazi to receive his reward of a pack of cigarettes.

​She recalls:

"My life had been traded for a pack of cigarettes...Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine that I would be betrayed by my own people." (page 88)

(If you haven't heard of Transnistria, it's because only 3 Jews survived that hell. Leah Kaufman is the only child survivor.) 

She contrasts their horrific betrayal to the kind treatment & protection she received from the Ukrainian non-Jewish woman who cared for her until that point.

Leah also mentions a few other incidents of insensitivity by otherwise very good-hearted Jews or outright maltreatment, but overall, she recalls her fellow Jews with profound appreciation.

Overall, her fellow Jews are GOOD.

​Though terribly painful when these incidents occurred, Leah somehow managed to overcome whatever pain & rage she initially felt to achieve a state of true ahavat Yisrael.

Leah used the wonderful love & education techniques she received from her home & later from her teachers in Canada, combined with what she learned from her painful experiences, in order to be both the best teacher & best Jew she could possibly be.

(I'm pretty sure I actually met her at one point years ago. Leah Kaufman is definitely a wonderfully sensitive, perceptive, and intelligent Jewish woman. I only had a short encounter with her, but it was memorable due to her caring & feelings of achva/fraternal soul-connection toward others.)

Again, the point is not to spotlight the negative.

Most frum Jews are good people. And many secular Jews possess wonderful potential.

The point is that none of these people would have achieved the greatness they achieved without going through this miserable nisayon of being rejected or betrayed by their fellows.

If you can rise above the anguish & bitterness, you can achieve a level of greatness impossible to achieve otherwise.

​And that's why the nisayon exists.

Of course, when someone weeps or rages to us about the rejection he or she experienced, our immediate response should be one of empathy, sympathy, reassurance, and validation.

​Yet at some point, we need to deliver the deeper & higher message.

When we encourage ourselves & others to focus SOLELY on the perceived source of the problem (community, family, or whichever), then we aren't helping ourselves or others as much as we intend.

Someone people remain stuck in the stage of resentment & determination to fix others.

Having experienced rejection myself, it's easy to understand why a person can remain stuck there, always seeing it as an external problem only.

Emotionally, some of my past experiences (not all, but some) still hurt & infuriate me, even though I intellectually realize their benefit & necessity, as described throughout this post.

So yeah, I struggle with this too. 

Rejection is actually an opportunity for inner greatness & to fulfill a very special & essential mission.

And that's why it needs to feel so awful.

If it wasn't so awful or devastating, overcoming it would not mean much at all.

Note: Names are already mentioned in the links below, but just to emphasize the point of greatness, the following people all experienced terrible personal rejection by their nearest & dearest, and even betrayal & persecution:
​
Avraham Avinu, Yaakov Avinu, Leah Imeinu, Yosef HaTzaddik, Moshe Rabbeinu, Miriam HaNeviah, David Hamelech, Chana HaNeviah, Yiftach, Shimshon, Ruth, Yirmiyahu HaNavi, Rebbe Akiva & his wife Rachel, and many more.

Related posts:
what-yiftachs-challenge-teaches-us-about-our-own-challenges-how-to-respond-in-the-best-way-possible.html

loneliness-rejection-as-aspects-of-mashiach.html
​
what-tanach-teaches-us-about-responding-to-rejection-persecution.html

​the-1-path-to-true-greatness-achieving-your-absolute-best-rejection-isolation-and-being-quashed.html

http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/miriam-as-azuvah-rejected-the-little-known-story-of-how-miriam-haneviah-found-her-shidduch

http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/the-dunce-duckling-who-became-a-sun-stopping-swan

Starting a while back, many of us discovered that previously meaningful geshmak avodat Hashem suddenly became heavy or unpleasant.

It even started feeling impossible.

It became like wading through mire to fulfill actions that we formerly did with happy anticipation.

Have you been feeling that way too?

Well, then—take heart!

There's a positive reason why you feel this way—it actually says something very good about you!

Here's page 20 from the Bitachon Weekly for Bamidbar/Shavuot:

Original source of the Gra:

ביאור הגר"א על מגילת רות עה"פ וַּתֵּ רֶ א כִ י מִ תְּ אַּ מֶ צֶת הִ יא לָלֶכֶת אִ תָ ּה וַּתֶ חְּ דַּ ל לְּ דַּ בֵּר אֵּ לֶיהָ ]א יח[ הענין היצה"ר דומה לזבוב ויושב בין ב' מפתחי הלב , ור"ל כי היצ"ט אינו יועץ אלא למצוה, אבל היצה"ר משיאו לעבירות , ואם יראה שאינו ל לו, מפתהו לעשות מצוה מעוטף כמה עבירות ]ועל דרך זה יצרו של
אדם מתגבר עליו בכל יום ומתחדש כו' מתגבר שיעשה עבירות , ומתחדש היינו אם רואה שלא יפתה אותו לעבירה , מחדש על לפתיהו במצוה , ובזה מעטיף
העבירה כדרך היצר[ והרוצה לבחון עת בא לידו המצוה אם הוא מיצה"ר או לא , יבחין בעת עשיית המצוה, אם אבריו נעים ונדים בעת ההיא ובזריזות לעשות
המצוה מסתמא היא מעצת יצה"ר, כי איך יוכל להיות שאיברי הגוף הכבדים אשר מעפר יסודם וטבעם לילך אחר תאותם הגופני היורד למטה מטה כטבע
העפר, יתלבשו רצון לעשות ]מצוה[? אין זה כי אם עצת יצה"ר בכדי שילכד אח"כ ברשתו. ואם בתשוקת נפש ו הפנימיות להתקרב אל עושהו במעשי המצות,
איברי הגוף כבדים ועצלים, אז נראה שמדרך הטבע הוא, ולכן נלבש היצה"ר באיברי הגוף ורוצה לעכבם מעשות המצוה . ועל זה ג"כ בריש לקיש מתחלה
כשנתכוון לעבירה רצו איברי הגוף עד שאמרו במסכת ב"מ ושוור לירדנא בכחו, וכיון שקיבל עליו עול תורה בעי למיהדר ולא יכול , שכיון שמצד היצ"ט קיבל
עליו עול תורה , לכן התחיל היצר לעכב ונעשו איברי הגוף כבדים. ואף כאן אינה יכולה לילך אחריה אף שהיא היתה בחורה ממנה בלתי אמיץ בגוף ויגיעה
רבה, אז וַּתֶ חְּ דַּ ל כו' למנוע אותה מהמצוות , כי הכוונה מצד הטוב הוא.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshas Behar-Bechukosai 4 - Tenants in This World, we learn the extent to which we are tenants in This World.

As Judaism emphasizes so strongly & so often, This World is merely a hallway leading to something much bigger and truer.

The Yovel (Jubilee) Year of ancient times kept Am Yisrael on its toes, even though they lived in their own Land within their rightful Tribal portion.

With homes & other acquisitions needing to be restored to their original state & possession, people still experienced movement & uprooting.

Later on & continuing until today, Galut (Exile) keeps us on our toes.

Even within Eretz Yisrael, we still experience Galut.

Missile strikes & policies of the Erev Rav government officials carried out by their lackeys ensure that we don't feel too settled in our homes.

We still need to turn to Hashem for any real stability.

With recent tragedies, for which the deeper reasons remain concealed, we see the Galut in that 3 yeshivah bachurs can be shot at random. Government policies enable this to happen. 

The revolving door of Israeli justice for terrorists embolden terrorism.

We do not yet dwell securely within our own Land.

Likewise, regarding the Meron tragedy, Rav Itamar Schwartz noted (among other profundities): 

Eyewitness accounts bear testimony to this point as we repeatedly hear how police did not intervene to prevent the dangerous crowding.

​Yet people realized on their own.

Ten minutes before the horrific crush, two 22-year-old friends of my son, concerned by the increasingly oppressive crowding, turned to each other and said, "Let's get out of here before we die."

They deliberated which of the 2 exits to take and Hashem guided them to choose the exit which ended up NOT being the deathtrap.

So they made it out alive.

When many other good people on their own decided to relieve the crowding by leaving, the police responded in a way that first caused then exacerbated crushing & falling (with the exception of a couple of policemen who worked to save people).

Look at who took control of that holy place & those holy people.

And so, this is where we are now.

Galut.

Nothing is stable. Nothing is guaranteed.

This isn't our world.

This isn't the real world.

This is all temporary and merely a path on the journey to reach the real world.

Those killed in the crush came from all types of backgrounds.

Many looked like ordinary people.

Yet so many extraordinary stories of the niftarim have come to light.

One astounding verified story by Daniel Braude came from Daniel Braude's 1-Minute Daily Halocha:

A man who eventually survived the crush found a small passage of air that kept him alive as he remained trapped between those fallen beneath him and those fallen on top of him.

He desperately wanted to move up off those under him, but could not.

​From beneath him, this survivor heard a man say Shema Yisrael in the manner of one who realizes he is living out his final moments.

After this Shema, this person's final words were to those unwillingly crushing him:

"Whoever is on top of me—I forgive you completely."

He never spoke again.

​This was a person who understood the purpose of This World.

In his last moments, this suffering Jew thought to consider the terrible guilt experienced by his brothers on top of him, fellow Jews who so desperately wanted to save his life, but who themselves could not move at all.

His last breaths consisted of empathy & judging his fellow Jews favorably.

He understood where he was & where he was going.

And he understood Who the Real Master is.

May Mashiach please usher in the Geula quickly and with compassion.

Jews with a deeply ingrained authentic Torah outlook behave much differently than regular people.

For example, the Bitachon Weekly for Parshat Shemini related an anecdote about a tzaddik named Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kohn who lived in Yerushalayim.

When Rav Kohn faced different routes to get from one place to another, he chose the route that led him past his antagonists, who then yelled at & made fun of him.

Ironically, Rav Kohn took pleasure in this public humiliation & degradation.

He knew that the searing trial of bizayonot (humiliations; degradations) rescues a person from terrible suffering, both in This World and the Next.

The people who heap scorn & humiliation on others are absolutely not right.

But if it does happen, then Rav Kohn's example is one to take heart from.  

Rav Aharon Leib Shteinman exemplified another approach.

As Rav Shteinman passed by a place where some boisterous young fellows standing outside started screaming at and ridiculing him, the men accompanying the rav wanted to disperse the obnoxious group.

But Rav Shteinman stopped them.

"Let the boys enjoy themselves," he said. "They appear to have pleasure in making fun of me; let them continue."

Let's take deeper look into this intriguing response.

Certainly, Rav Shteinman knows Jewish Law soundly condemns such disrespectful behavior.

If anyone would have asked Rav Shteinman if such behavior is allowed, he would have condemned it in the strongest terms.

But for himself, being a genuine talmid chacham, he realized the value of bizayonot.

And he decided to focus on the pleasure of his fellow Jews.

Now, the kind of person who behaves like the obnoxious fellows above generally acts out of a rowdy & uppity enjoyment of such behavior.

Again, it's severely wrong for them to act this way.

Just the fact that they derive so much pleasure from ganging up against an elderly man to verbally abuse him shows how degraded they are on the inside.

They evidence a disturbing lack of shame, not only to behave with such obnoxious disrespect, but to do so publicly, exhibiting to all exactly how deplorable they really are.

Yet Rav Shteinman focused on the pleasure (however twisted) they received from their despicable behavior.   

Clearly, facing bizayon with equanimity—or even as an act of submitting to the twisted pleasure of one's bullies—proves very challenging.

Bizayon HURTS.

That's why the Torah outright forbids onaat devarim (verbal abuse) or causing others any kind of pain—emotionally or mentally or physically (unless it's somehow truly beneficial to the other person, like medical treatment or to stop someone from harming himself with a bad decision or action).

That's why Judaism views humiliation as a form of murder.

Again, the Torah views mocking or degrading or abusing another person as absolutely awful.

In other words: God Himself condemns such behavior.

However...

...if you find yourself on the receiving end of bizayon, the above examples offer helpful ways to handle it.

And no, the above are not just for "very great people."

After reading the above, I found myself in a mildly embarrassing incident during which I felt others were smirking at me.

Despite the mildness of it (and even the lack of certainty regarding whether anyone was actually smirking at me), it really stung.

But Hashem made me remember Rav Shteinman's example, and I did my best to mentally re-orient myself to focus on the idea that I was giving them enjoyment (if indeed the were smirking at me)—even if it's a very debased level of enjoyment.

And it really did take the sting away. Also, it amused me to do it. (Responding like this to bizayon is an act of absurdity, if you think about it. You could see something like this happening in a comedy scene.) 

The feeling of amusement also helped dilute the feelings of emotional discomfort.

So yeah, even if you can't emulate this wholeheartedly (like I couldn't), it is still definitely helpful.

Other times, I struggled to respond to obvious bizayon with appreciation & simcha, but found that very challenging.

Despite knowing what our Sages say about the value of bizayon, I still find myself doing what I can to avoid it!

Just being honest about where I'm really holding (i.e., a fairly mediocre level).

Nonetheless, it helps to know you definitely receive reward for responding to bizayon with silent joy, appreciation, humor, or altruism.

Remember, that searing sting of bizayon prevents all kinds of terrible suffering.

While I personally am not on the level to actively seek out bizayon (because despite my intellectual understanding of its value, experiencing bizayon still makes me cringe), we definitely benefit from just the act of trying to shift our perspective to that of Chazal—as exemplified by Rav Kohn & Rav Shteinman.

The Arizal and the Ramak (Rav Moshe Cordovero) stated:

In Shaarei Kedushah/Gates of Holiness (Chelek I, Shaar 6), Rav Chaim Vital wrote:

Again, the whole idea is a bit of a paradox because on one hand, causing bizayon to others is HORRIBLE.

Seriously. You can plunge yourself straight to Gehinnom just for that.

On the other hand, we should strive to respond to bizayon according the principles laid out above.

(Bizayon's power of atonement & salvation derives davka from the fact that it really is so dreadfully painful.) 

​May we all please receive the siyata d'Shmaya we need to succeed!

Relating to the concept of bitachon (trust in Hashem) gets confusing sometimes.

On one hand, it's often presented as a way to get what you want.

Like, if you trust in Hashem that a disease or another unpleasant issue will pass, then it will—that's one message we often receive.

And it's often true.

We hear both stories about that happening and even experience it ourselves.

But it's not always true.

Bitachon also means accepting the worst as the very best thing that could happen; it's all from a loving God.

So it's a paradox that you can & should expect the best—yes, according to your definition of best.

But also to accept that when your definition of best doesn't happen, then that's also very good.

​(I'm not on this level personally. Just laying it out and trying to work it out myself...)

This blog already described the mind-boggling bitachon of Rav Gershon Leibman here:
​http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/an-extraordinary-example-of-bitchon-plus-4-ways-regular-people-can-seek-to-emulate-this-level

But the Bitachon Weekly for Parshat Tazria-Metzora revealed further details of this extraordinary Jew.

A person involved in preparing Rav Gershon's body for burial noted that his body exhibited such severe physical trauma, he shouldn't have been able to exist: "...and how he existed, nobody knows."

And this revealed the paradox of bitachon that existed within Rav Gershon himself.

For example, when the Nazis invaded the town where Rav Gershon lived, Rav Gershon only stood behind the door to the beit midrash—and the Nazis never found him.

So his bitachon saved him.

Yet the Nazis captured him in the end and Rav Gershon spent time in a ghetto, plus several concentration camps.

Eyewitnesses testify that the Nazis beat Rav Gershon to death 3-4 times—yet he not only survived each lethal beating, but thrived for decades afterward in a body unsuitable for survival.

​So on one hand, Rav Gershon's incredible level of bitachon did not rescue him from torturous physical suffering...but on the other hand, it allowed him to not only survive each lethal beating, but enabled him to thrive on miracles until the end of his life.

For decades, Rav Gershon maintained a youthful & energetic demeanor—in a body that wasn't even viable.

​To me, his most extraordinary quality was his level of inner joy despite all the suffering & trauma he endured.

And I think that's the lesson right there:

Maintaining bitachon definitely reaps blessing and even miracles.

But not always in the way we want or expect.

Sometimes yes...but not always.

However, someone who truly internalizes a state of bitachon will maintain a state of simcha no matter what.

May we all merit to achieve complete bitachon in Hashem.

For Parshat Vayakhel/Pikudei, two wonderful people made sure I saw that Bitachon Weekly because of the story of the amazing person featured within.

(You can sign up for Bitachon Weekly here: thenewbitachonweekly@gmail.com)

R' Gershon Leibman personified bitachon in Hashem.

Meaning, he knew that Hashem not only orchestrated every event in the world, but also did so for one's benefit.

This meant that R' Leibman lived in a different dimension than most other people.

His only thought was what Hashem wanted, what was the correct thing to do spiritually.

​For example, though R' Leibman encountered the opportunity to flee Nazi territory for Russia, he chose to remain within the Nazi occupation because he understood that Communist Russia aimed to uproot Judaism at its soul level, and not just destroy the Jews physically.

This is an incomprehensible way of living that even other tzaddikim rarely chose.

​How did R' Leibman arrive at such a decision?

Having chosen one of the more intriguing paths of Torah Judaism—the Novardok mussar movement—R' Leibman was already well-entrenched within the lifestyle of "breaking" one's middot.

In other words, the Novardok style sought to build a person's positive traits by "breaking" one's negative traits.

To do this, one must go against one's innate nature.

While universal lower aspects of human nature exist (i.e., fear of anything but Hashem or a desire for honor & admiration or physical desires, etc.), individual inclinations also play a role.

So Novardokers worked on both the universal aspects of human nature, plus their own individual aspects.  

This meant, for example, that if a Novardoker wished to work on his tendency toward anger, he either sought out or created situations that generally incited anger in order to remain calm.

Breaking the middah of kavod (desiring honor & admiration) proved one of the most beloved goals of the Novardokers.

If a Novardoker strove to work on his tendency to fear of anything but Hashem, he purposefully placed himself in frightening situations. 

In its heyday, the Novardoker method led to all sorts of behaviors considered bizarre by others (and created amusing anecdotes), but produced a group of Jews who were truly humble, happy, helpful, and courageous.

​So R' Leibman took this method, which was already well-ingrained within him, and pushed it to its limits with astonishing results.

R' Leibman spoke publicly about not being afraid of the Nazis and insisted on learning in a beit midrash (study hall) while the Nazis went about terrorizing people & blowing up buildings.

(He could not actively help anyone at that moment, so he turned to learning Torah instead.)

When a fellow frum Jew spoke to R' Leibman about R' Leibman's apparent recklessness & the obligation to save oneself in a time of danger, R' Leibman explained that he invested in the minimum effort required:

When the Nazis passed by his beis midrash, R' Leibman rose and hid himself behind the door.

That's it.

Upon later finding himself in the local ghetto, R' Leibman created a yeshivah.

He regularly davened Shacharit with loud musical passion.

He always managed to acquire a book of Torah learning. When the evil-doers would confiscate one book, he managed to get another.

He endangered his life to smuggle in a pair of tefillin.

He refused to work on Shabbat.

​And yes, his uncompromising commitment to enthusiastic Yiddishkeit led to horrific beatings. 

Yet nothing ever broke his spirit or even caused him to waver.

​Despite the suffering in both the ghetto and concentration camps, R' Leibman never lost his sense of joy.

Astoundingly, he thrived on the challenge of serving Hashem b'simcha in the most dehumanizing conditions.

While many naturally optimistic & cheerful people tend to maintain their happy-go-lucky attitude not only by skimming over their own discomforts & suffering, but also by skimming over the discomforts & suffering of others, R' Leibman involved himself in the suffering of his fellow Jews.

​Throughout his ordeals in both the ghetto and concentration camps, R' Leibman constantly gave away his own food by allowing other Jews to stand in line to receive his portion.

He saved lives at every opportunity.

​Other remember him as selfless, a person who only cared for others.

​While still in the miserable prison clothes of Bergen-Belson after liberation, R' Leibman immediately sought to build yeshivot.

He wanted to re-build Torah for the Jewish people—to rebuild the Jewish Nation at its soul-root.

​Despite being surrounded by the suffering of his fellow Jews & giving his all to help them while enduring terrible conditions himself, R' Leibman always maintained a state of joy due to his solid connection to Hashem.

R' Leibman enjoyed sacrificing his own needs to help others in the same boat.

​And he continued to serve Hashem by working on behalf of the Jewish people for the rest of his life.

Later on, when he created a seminary for girls and the girls were ready to get married, he lined up eligible yeshivah students on one side of a large room with the girls on the other side, and made random matches.

All his marriage matches succeeded with great blessing.

In fact, one son of one of these matches remarked that he still does not understand his parents' shidduch...

​His mother & father are vastly different from one another, yet they get along beautifully.

Despite our expectations that bitachon & a state of joy will erase our suffering & troubles, it ain't necessarily so.

Yes, it often happens that thanking Hashem & accepting yissurim (suffering) with joy cause our problems to disappear...but not always!

As we see from above, R' Leibman's extraordinary bitachon and level of simcha did NOT prevent him from experiencing Nazi captivity, physical deprivations & assaults, or torturous slave labor.

Physically, R' Leibman suffered for the rest of his life (until miraculous old age) from issues with his shoulders, heel, nose, and other areas—all resulting from merciless beatings & other torment during the Holocaust.

Yet he remained one of the only Holocaust survivors to not experience nightmares or any other signs of emotional trauma.

​Those who knew him remember him as "unusually warm & loving," and youthful, energetic, good-humored, and full of laughter.

Despite his self-effacing humility, he carried himself with dignity, "like the general of an army."

Though we admire R' Leibman and wish to emulate him, his level of bitachon appears unattainable.

​So what can we learn from such a person?

Here are things R' Leibman did that anyone can do:

• He reviewed Shaar HaBitachon in Chovot HaLevavot (Gate of Trust in Duties of the Heart) over a thousand times. (Too much to even think about? No problem; even a one-time reading still packs a powerful impact on one's personality.)

 

• He gleaned deeply from Madreigos Ha'adam (The Levels of a Person by Rav Yosef Yoizel Hurwitz the Alter of Novardok). I personally have not yet read it, but it's certainly possible to do so.

 

• His favorite verse of Tehillim was 73:28: "My best thing is closeness to Hashem"—something he sang all the time. (You can also sing this verse, or chose another that speaks to your heart.)

 

• He viewed challenges as opportunities to beneficially break his middot.

One of the ways you can tell if a person is truly working on themselves is whether he or she makes an effort to break out of one's personal comfort zone.

For example, Rav Steinman enjoyed a naturally serene personality that didn't look too deeply into stressful situations. Such people prefer living life in a pleasant blur.

But he didn't settle for indulging his nature—i.e., remaining in his comfort zone.

Rav Shteinman sought to probe from where his serenity emanated: from his inborn nature or the REAL development of emunah & bitachon?

​(You can read more about that here: http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/february-13th-2018)

Likewise, R' Leibman did not maintain his level of joy by skipping through life with only peripheral involvement in the suffering of others.

​(Naturally cheerful people can & do a lot of valuable practical chessed for others, but often need to be told about it or what to do—i.e., they won't necessarily notice or know what to do themselves—yet resist getting involved emotionally or with others' emotional needs because that brings them down & causes serious emotional discomfort).

In contrast, Rav Leibman remained very aware of & involved in the suffering & misery surrounding him.

He maintained his level of joy while being emotionally involved in caring for others—including their terrible suffering.

And all the while, he sought ways to help them.

This is something a person can do on his or her own level, one baby-step at a time.

For example, I knew a married man with a naturally controlled personality.

​Though he displayed unwavering composure & sterling middot in every situation, it came with a certain stiff & formal demeanor.

Yet when professionals told him that for the good of his autistic son, he needed to engage in a lot of warmth, physical affection, and playfulness with this son...he did so!

Passing through his dining room one day while visiting his wife, I was surprised to see him with his arms wrapped around his young son, holding him on his lap, rocking him and speaking to him whimsically.

(FYI: I didn't know they were there or I wouldn't have just burst through like that because the father was obviously a little embarrassed.)

But this made me realize what a truly good person he was, that he was able to access that part of him for the well-being of his son, even though it lay out of the normal parameters of his personal comfort zone (though he clearly also enjoyed the interaction along with his son).​

​So by reading the right chapters and by taking steps toward breaking our own middot via edging ourselves even a tiny bit out of our own personal comfort zone, we can at least follow in the path of a truly great baal bitachon like R' Gershon Leibman of blessed memory.