Category: Eretz Yisrael

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Vayechi: A Glimpse into What It Will Be Like at the Beginning of the Ingathering of the Exiles, Plus How to Identify with Your Fellow Jews & Ideas for Extra Kavanah in Shemoneh Esrei

10/1/2020

In this week's dvar Torah by Rav Avigdor Miller, Parshat Vayechi: Becoming One People, he discusses how on Yaakov Avinu's deathbed, Yaakov Avinu notes how different each of his 12 sons are from one another.

Then Rav Miller cites Gemara Pesachim 56a, which mentions a man who went around saying, "I want to live along the coast."

He loved the seashore so much, he dreamed of building a home by the sea when he retired.

When they looked into why he loved the sea so much, they discovered this man descended from Zevulun, which was the sea-faring Tribe. Hashem ingrained within Bnei Zevulun a love for the ocean.

Another man went around saying, "Donu dini – Judge my case."

Whenever there was a disagreement between this man and another, he wasn't interested in arbitration or compromise; he wanted the straight-out verdict: Who's right? Who's wrong? And what must be done now?

He said "Donu dini" so often that they checked into his lineage and discovered what you probably already guessed: "Donu dini" descended from the Tribe of Dan.

Rav Miller explains about the inner make-up of Bnei Dan (pg. 4):

Dan was rigid; he liked to follow the strict line of the law.

There are people like that who are very strict with rules; they don’t like to deviate at all.

Even little children sometimes are born that way; it’s their nature to follow rules. Others, not so - they’re more flexible; they’re not such sticklers for din.

I really love reading about the innate character of different Shevatim (Tribes). I don't know exactly why; there's just something so geshmak about it.

Maybe because it validates the different traits we see and soars over petty differences.

Your family, society, or culture may see your individual personality traits as negative. But maybe your innate traits are perfectly fine (as long as they are being channeled positively).

Maybe you, with your particularly traits, are just as valuable as the people who look down on you.

Maybe Hashem WANTS people exactly like you in the world. (But again, there is still the issue of utilizing these traits for a beneficial purpose.)

For example, if you are more laid-back or compromising, you could see a Danite as uptight or rigid, but really, he is behaving exactly as he is programmed. Hashem WANTS him to be this way; that's his role.

Likewise, a Danite could see a more flexible or accommodating person as weak or compromised or less of a truth-seeker...but really, that person is exactly what Hashem wants him to be.

Devorah HaNeviah, who was a Naftalite, arbitrated disagreements under a palm tree in the area between Tiveria and Beit She'an. She engaged in mediation between struggling parties. That's very different than the "Donu dini" approach of Dan.

Yet both types are obviously highly valued by Hashem.

A Glimpse into What It will be Like When Mashiach First Comes

On page 5, Rav Miller offers us a glimpse of how things will look when Mashiach comes.

As we daven in Shemoneh Esrei "Taka b'shofar gadol l'cheruteinu – sound the great shofar for our freedom, our full independence," Rav Miller says there will be some great blast that will proclaim to the nations to liberate Am Yisrael from our subjugation.

We don't know exactly what that will sound like, but we'll all recognize it when it happens:

There’ll be great conferences in countries all over the world and the nations will come together to see what can be done to help facilitate the reestablishment of the Am Yisroel as a nation on its own land.
***
It’s a warning blast to the nations that the truth of Hashem Elokei Yisroel is on the march forward.

No more UN votes on whether to give us our independence in our Holy Land.

No more palavering about whether we belong here or not.

It will be self-evident that Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael absolutely must occur.

Furthermore, Rav Miller notes that entire communities will need to be transplanted within Eretz Yisrael.

And we will need a livelihood for every Jew. (Rav Miller refers to the Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah 9:2).

We'll need homes built for everyone too.

In a nutshell:

There will be a great shofar blast that will somehow proclaim the obvious to the entire world.
The entire world will cooperate in the goal of facilitating the return of the entire Jewish People to Eretz Yisrael.
Entire communities will need to be transplanted.
Parnassah will need to be found for every family.
Homes will need to be built for every family.

Gather Us TOGETHER from the 4 Corners of the Earth

And this is the big challenge for which we pray every day, also in Shemoneh Esrei:
"Kabtzeinu b'yachad – Gather us together..."

We don't just plead to be gathered back to our Land, but we plead that it happen "b'yachad – together."

We are more disparate than ever. In addition to innate Tribal characteristics, just contemplate the difference between an upright Jewish family in Yemen right now and an upright Jewish family in Baltimore.

Maybe they're even both Asherites, but who could be more different?

At this point, you could have more in common with an Ashkenazi Shimonite from your hometown of Los Angeles than you could with your fellow Yissacharite who is a Bucharian from Uzbekistan.

Heck, we even have this today. A Kohen from Brooklyn might feel more comfortable with a Yisrael from Brooklyn than he is with a fellow Kohen from Tunisia.

So it's very important to beg Hashem that this much-anticipated Ingathering occurs with a strong feeling of togetherness.

Rav Miller on page 6:

The Teimanim should be together with the Sefardim.

And the Sefardim with the Ashkenazim, and the Williamsburgers with the Lakewooders.

We want everybody within those communities to get along with each other.

What is the Secret of Our Coming Together?

According to Rav Miller, this unity will not happen automatically; we will need to MAKE it happen.

(Until I read this, I really thought it would happen automatically. Always something new to learn, eh?)

Anyway, this is what Yaakov Avinu was so concerned about as he looked at his very different sons.

So when Yaakov Avinu cried out to Hashem, the brothers answered with Shema Yisrael.

As Rav Miller offers the brothers' solution on page 6:

There’s one Hashem who we’re all serving and that’s going to keep us together despite the differences in our nature.

Whatever differences you see, they are overwhelmed by the yachad, the togetherness that comes from of our serving the One Hashem.

Don't Be a Stranger

And once again (pages 8-9), Rav Miller waxes into his usual beautiful soliloquy of how important it is to identify with ALL Jews who are serving Hashem, regardless of their minhagim or ethnicity or style of clothing.

We must stop getting distracted by externals.

If a Jew is serving Hashem, you must do everything you can NOT to feel like he or she is a stranger.

Are we really so different from each other?

"No," says Rav Miller. "We're not strangers to anybody if they're loyal Jews."

He offers all sorts of advice for awakening that feeling of identification and unity.

A Jew who serves Hashem connects to Hashem in the same way you do.

You're serving Hashem TOGETHER, whether you feel it or not.

A Jew who serves Hashem is also connecting to our greatest spiritual giants throughout the generations, from Avraham & Sara Imeinu to Moshe Rabbeinu to Eliyahu HaNavi to Ezra HaSofer to the Sages of the Gemara to the Rambam and the Chafetz Chaim and the Baba Sali and, well...EVERYONE.

We're don't serve Hashem on their level, but there is a basic connection that bonds us: They kept Shabbat and we keep Shabbat.

Moshe Rabbeinu and Tzipporah had a kosher kitchen and you have a kosher kitchen.

It's a profound & unique connection worth investing in.

Look at the mezuzot, the tsniyut, the children coming out of Jewish schools, the men coming out of study halls, the women buying kosher food and wheeling baby carriages.

Rav Miller says (page 9) that we should walk through a neighborhood of religious Jews and think:

“I’m walking among my people. It’s my people and I love them. I don’t care what hat he wears or what group he belongs to; it’s all my people! These are the people in this world whom I identify with.”

Like Your Jewish Self by Learning More about Judaism

The more we learn about ourselves, the more we can live in that reality.

Rav Miller mentions that at one time, newspapers were a rarity, especially in the small towns.

Stam reading material wasn't so common either, so what did people have to read and talk about?

Parshat hashavua.

Rav Miller recalls a family recently arrived from Europe to Williamsburg. They weren't such learned people, but all they spoke about was Parshat Hashavua. Chumash. That's what they read, that's what they knew, so that's what they always spoke about.

How beautiful.

Actually, I have a friend whose grandmother was born into a wealthy Chassidic family in Poland in 1898. The father hired a private rebbi to teach his sons and her grandmother sat herself in the corner to listen and she learned too.

(And contrary to all the Jewish-feminist propaganda, no one objected. No one felt scandalized or appalled. It wasn't controversial. In fact, sometimes all her brothers ran out when they could sit no longer and the rebbi simply continued teaching her. A fully educated Jewish girl wasn't common, but it wasn't unheard of either.)

And what reading material could be found in a proper Chassidish home at the turn of the century? Not the deplorable Yiddish novels of that time!

They had seferim on halacha, Chassidus, mussar, mefarshim on Tanach, prayer books, and so on.

That's it.

So her mind grew accustomed to literature on that level. Holy literature. And it stayed with her for the rest of her life, enabling her to re-build her family after the agony of Auschwitz. She successfully countered the secular influence that tried to infiltrate her American grandchildren and ended up with admirably frum progeny.

Rav Miller recalls the long Torah lectures people used to listen to willingly.

Yes, people used to be very into this.

In the Ben Ish Chai's time, men, women, and children gathered to hear his long drashot.

In Rav Mutzafi's time, entire families (including the women and children) participated in a family reading of 5-10 chapters of Neviim & Ketuvim every Shabbat.

People LIKED it.

When you learn, you can think about how you are learning what Rav Ashi and the Rambam learned.

We're all connected.

Greatness of Soul Supersedes Even the Greatness of Intellect

Then Rav Miller says some of the radical things he's so loved for, like:

"We have to be proud of our great grandmothers who had more da’as, more emunah, than many gedolim of today. "

That's a very strong statement, which he derives from Rav Yeruchum Levovitz, the Mirrer mashgiach.

And back when Rav Miller said this, Gedolim like Rav Bentzion Abba Shaul and Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and the Lubavitcher Rebbe were still alive.

Then Rav Miller recalls Josephus's description of the Roman torture of the Jews, and how the Jews refused to renounce their Judaism.

He emphasizes how these martyrs weren't the Gedolim; these were the regular Jewish folks.

"Your Rewards in the Next World Depend on Your Loyalty to Klal Yisroel."

Let's end with the following powerful idea on page 15:

It says: ! כל יִשְׂרָאֵל יֵשׁ לָהֶם חֵלֶק לְעוֹלָם הַבָא

["Kol Yisrael yesh lehem chelek l'Olam Haba – All of Israel has a portion in the World to Come."]

It doesn't say we're going to have individual Olam Habo.

It’s only because of Yisroel.

Hakodosh Boruch Hu is not going to give Olam Habo because of your good deeds – it’s only because you’re a member of Yisroel.

Your rewards in the next world depends on your loyalty to the Klal Yisroel, on how much you identify with Hashem’s people.

All credit for all quotes goes to Toras Avigdor.

7 Comments

The Attitudes, Methods, and Impact of Charedim on Israeli Society

6/1/2020

0 Comments

A lot of people don't like charedim.

Some charedim don't even like themselves.

There are flaws within the charedi community; I live in it and I know.

But it's important to look at WHY many people dislike the charedi community.

Yes, those people like to focus on this flaw or that flaw (as if their own community doesn't have the exact same problem or worse). It grants them extra legitimacy when the flaw is actually real.

But what is the underlying motivation for focusing on that flaw, whether real or imagined?

The motivation does not flow from ahavat Yisrael.

It does not flow from a desire to see halacha upheld correctly. This gets particularly blurry when the critics (like several writers & editors in the non-charedi Jewish English-speaking media) are themselves at least minimally shomer Shabbat and shomer kashrut and seem like they care about Judaism from a religious perspective.

But in reality, the dislike of the entire community as a whole flows from a desire to destroy the charedi community.

They refuse to acknowledge the many obvious benefits charedim have brought into society.

The real reason why people dislike charedim is because the charedi community has proven itself to be both uncompromising and demanding.

And these are actually good qualities (as long as you are uncompromising and demanding about the right things) and I'll show you how these qualities have benefited all frum people (and even non-frum people) in both large and small ways, and also support the values that even non-charedim say they care about.

You No Longer Need to See Photoshopped Females Used to Sell Stuff

In Eretz Yisrael, when you sign up for stuff, there is often a little box you can check with something written like: Modest material only.

This means that the credit card company or the mall marketing department will only send you envelopes of bills and announcements that don't contain any images contrary to halacha.

Why do they do that?

It's not because the company itself cares. They might even be sneering at the people who check the box.

It's because the charedi community has stood its ground about issues of tsniyut, and has protested breaches.

It's also because of the unchecked birthrate, which was not even slowed by the withdrawal of the Child Benefits (which did slow the birthrate in the Muslim sector, BTW).

So with the charedi community having become an important chunk of the consumer market with clear standards, companies have responded with accommodation.

This means that any person who wishes to receive material that does NOT exploit fake female attractiveness to sell credit card points, vacations, and merchandise – you now have that option.

Mehadrin Seating Scenarios

Mehadrin buses continue to be controversial and a bit clunky at times even for those who enjoy them, but they are the only form of public transportation in which a nursing mother can feed her baby in relative convenience and comfort (although you still need to be aware of how you appear in the driver's mirror).

Also, whether we're men or women, some of us are more comfortable NOT being squished up against or bumping into the opposite gender.

And finally (and this is admittedly a very discriminatory benefit), if you're the mother of boys, you get some time for yourself while your children go with your husband, leaving you free to daven, nap, chat with another passenger, cuddle and/or nurse the baby if you have one, or just enjoy the scenery flashing by.

But if you're the mother of girls, then that opportunity goes to your husband. (And maybe he deserves a break too.)

And if you're the mother of both boys and girls, then everyone gets to an equal share of the fun 'n' bustle.

(You can also all sit together as a family somewhere in the middle.)

A Shabbat That's Truly Shalom

A big reason why you have stores closed on Shabbat and public transportation shut down, and a general peaceful Shabbat environment is because of the charedim.

It's not the only reason, seeing as there are also non-charedi shomrei Torah & mitzvot who care about these things too.

And it's not in every city or neighborhood, but a big reason why you get to enjoy that at all is because of the charedim.

Ditto with kosher restaurants and the inaccessibility to treif food in many areas.

Spreading Torah & Chessed

A lot of kiruv is charedi or Chabad.

As far as I can tell, most of the organizations are under charedi auspices.

However, in recent years, Garin Torani ("Torah Seed," which is dati) has been increasingly & positively impacting different communities with their family groups, kollels, and yeshivahs.

This is very good and my sister-in-law is grateful for the work Garin Torani has done in her community, as she was also personally influenced by them.

But a massive percentage of kiruv and other chessed organizations are under charedi or Chabad auspices.

The Continuing Baby Boom & Its Wonderful Impact

The maternity wards in the Jerusalem hospitals have been undergoing renovations over the years to make them more pleasant with more rooms available.

Options for both birth and post-partum recovery are vastly different than they were even 20 years ago.

This is mostly because of the booming charedi birthrate. Charedi women made a beeline for hospitals that offered them better births and better accommodations.

And while many charedi women pushed for unmedicated births, I believe there is even a bigger demand for unmedicated births among dati women, who are also having large families.

Either way, the options improved. Hospitals, though far from perfect, are less likely nowadays to impose their own narrow methods on your birth. You now have more choice, regardless of what you're looking for.

This also affected kashrut standards for yoldot who chose not to give birth in hospitals in which the kashrut was not up to their standards.

This in turn created healthy competition between hospitals.

Of course, dati women also have large families, as do some secular women.

But when I was at Bikur Cholim hospital years ago, nearly every yoledet was charedi, except for a handful of Muslim yoldot.

So if you have access to a Jerusalem birth experience that allows you more flexibility, and the option of rooming-in later (if you want it), plus much nicer accommodations for recovery, and proper kashrut, it's mostly because of the charediot.

And because enabling many births with faster recoveries is so important to charedim, you had chief doctors, like Dr. Yaffe at Bikur Cholim, who made it his goal to keep the Cesarean rate down.

In the secular world, some women opt for a Cesarean as their first choice, figuring that it helps them avoid the discomfort and inconvenience of regular birth, and anyway, they'll only need to do it once or twice.

But doctors recommend only a limited amount of Cesarean births due to the strain on the uterus. Plus, the recovery is generally more difficult.

Charedim women don't want to limit their number of births and their lives are too full to tolerate an unnecessarily difficult recovery.

So this propels those who attend to charedi births to find non-surgical options when possible.

Better Access to Health Needs & Cheaper Kosher Supermarkets

One of the pleasant shocks I had upon making aliyah was the easy ability to buy herbal tinctures and homeopathic medicine in a regular pharmacy (in a frum neighborhood).

I had never heard of such a thing in America.

With so many medications either contraindicated for pregnant and lactating women, the frequent pregnancies & nursing within the charedi and dati communities produced a demand for healthy alternatives.

The fast-growing charedi community created a demand for more housing, which include the necessary facilities.

Even if you're a secular building contractor who hates charedim, you're probably building for them, which gives you money and creates jobs, plus supply and demand.

And again, because of the charedi needs with regard to large families, you have health clinics set up to provide the best services for gynecology and pediatrics. Health clinics in charedi neighborhoods remain in healthy competition to provide the most desirable doctors and services – these also include various therapies for children and weight-control services.

It's not uncommon to see secular people shopping in the supermarket in a charedi neighborhood because that's the supermarket with the widest selection and cheapest prices.

Why did the owner build a supermarket there? Because of the obvious supply & demand.

You see secular people coming into charedi neighborhoods to utilize the health services and the baby stores.

Again, why? Because the charedim need these facilities, so supply meets demand, and then everyone else benefits too.

Job Creation with Charedim

Because charedim are so insistent on gender-separation and tsniyut, this creates a demand for female professionals to fill certain occupations.

Doctors, reflexologists, massage therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapists, teachers, acupuncturists, and much more – charedim want female options for these roles.

This demand creates a wider variety of job choices for women (because they'll find work in that field due to the demand), plus a greater opportunity to find employment.

The whole industry behind the batei hachlamah (mother-baby recovery centers) creates jobs for women (in addition to providing much-needed post-partum recovery for mothers).

Actually, there is also job creation for men too in men-only outlets, or in a traditionally female venue that would also like to serve men.

In the cosmetics industry, for example, it's not uncommon for a charedi female cosmetician to advertise that there is a male laser practitioner available weekly to attract male clients.

Furthermore, because charedim prefer to deal with religious people who understand & respect their standards, this leads to companies actively seeking to hire frum people (not necessarily charedi, but religious).

As just one example: When I needed technicians to come during our Great Internet-Telephone Crash, I was surprised to see 2 guys in kippahs and tzitzit show up. That was the first time this company ever sent frum technicians.

Also, it's the first time they sent 2 guys rather than 1. While I believe one guy was there in training, it did make the yichud issue easier, although I usually prevent yichud by placing the upper bolt between the door frame and the door so it can't close all the way.

It's not the first time I've seen companies do this. And it is the charedi insistence and unwillingness to compromise that leads to this.

Frankly, I think it is a good way to support shomrei Shabbat, regardless of which group they belong to.

Anyway, these all are just a few examples.

The Ability to Unify & Organize

Because charedim were well-aware from the get-go that assimilated governance is a problem and because charedi rabbinical leaders were pretty clear about what was really going on with these shiny movements, charedim maintained a healthy suspicion and rejection of what often ended up as movements & organizations led by sociopaths.

With regard to different "Jewish" politicians and self-proclaimed leaders & upstarts in Eretz Yisrael, regardless of whether the actual government was Turkish, British, or Israeli, charedi Jews maintained a healthy attitude of "Don't spit on my head and then tell me it's raining."

Charedim knew better than to glorify the likes of Ben-Gurion, Moshe Dayan, or Golda Meir. They never needed to re-write history and ignore blatant misdeeds in order to justify the above people and their like.

Charedim never needed to call so many of these people Socialists rather than Communists, just to make themselves feel more comfortable.

I grew up in a secular-traditional pro-Zionist Jewish community. Believe me, these people are glorified. A lot of outright garbage (like the whole kibbutz movement) is romanticized.

Also, because charedim are simultaneously uncompromising & actively protesting (and this varies within the charedi community; not everyone agrees on the best response), charedim are considered a force to deal with.

For example, it's hard to imagine an expulsion of charedim. Of course, the government could decide to uproot an entire charedi community; it's not beyond whatever's left of their integrity.

I'm not saying it couldn't happen.

But the charedi push-back can be very fierce.

There is also power in numbers.

Many charedi Rabbanim or Rebbes have the ability to call in thousands of men at the drop of a hat (or shtreimel, as the case may be).

When my son was learning in Geula, he found himself in the middle of a Chassidic group known to be particularly unified and dedicated to their Rebbe's ideals.

As the Rebbe was escorted through, the Chassidim were makpid not to turn their back on him. When my son turned around to get a better look at the group, a chassid behind him promptly turned him back around to face the Rebbe.

It wasn't done aggressively and my son felt both impressed and amused at the sense of brotherhood this chassid obviously felt for him ("We are one & must honor the Rebbe together, whether he's your Rebbe or not!").

Then there was a car in the way. So the chassidim promptly lifted it up and turned it over to allow the Rebbe to pass. (The Rebbe had his eyes down, so it's not clear whether he was aware of this.) Once, the Rebbe passed, they neatly turned the car back over and returned it to its place.

(My son said that no damage was done to the car.)

Now, whether you think that turning people or cars around l'chvod a Rebbe is appropriate or not, the point is that it's hard to argue with that level of dedication.

(Side note: I once worked for a chassidic couple from that group, and I was overwhelmed by their kindness. They really looked out for me and I was so grateful.)

Who Does Everyone Love to Hate, But Reluctant to Mess with Too Much?

Because of charedi push-back (and the famous charedi ability not to care one whit about whether the media or public officials like them), Medinat Yisrael is a more moral society than it would be otherwise.

Abortion, same-gender marriage, female military recruitment, and much more faces robust & unrepentant opposition from the charedi community.

You may not like some of the methods certain groups use and I may not like them either, but they work.

In fact, the lashon hara expert I spoke to before writing the series on my son's military service asked me what I thought of the anti-draft demonstrations.

I wasn't expecting the question, so it took me a minute to answer.

I basically said that I don't personally hold by that shitah and I would much prefer that if you can gather so many frum guys together that they should make a prayer rally rather than annoy traffic, but that I understood their motivation because the government is without conscience and is seeking to actively uproot everything good and impossible to reason with.

I just don't like the regular innocent Jewish citizen being inconvenienced for this.

He then told me in no uncertain terms that the demonstrations were halachically forbidden.

And he named a Gadol who said this, but I can't remember the name, although I think it's already well-known anyway.

However, as one son constantly reminds me, the demonstrators are following their own rabbanim, some of whom are pretty big.

Actually, he is friends with one of the main demonstrators, a guy who has gotten beaten up by the police and thrown in detention for a month. (If you ever see a big-boned carrot-top sitting on the front fender of a bus or blocking the light rail, he is apparently a very nice & approachable guy, plus a good learner.)

And as much as you have people pushing for a stronger government and to stand up to this group or that group (people either want the government to maintain an uncompromising stand against the charedim or against the Arabs), the only Jewish group that people both love to hate AND that even the most sociopathic Leftist leader hesitates to mess with too much...the charedim.

(This is partly why you need constant propaganda against charedim. The core haters are too afraid to attack charedim on their own and there's safety in numbers.)

For example, look at the difference between how the powers-that-be treated charedim in places like Yerushalayim and Mazkeret Batya (even though the term "charedi" didn't even exist back in the time of Mazkeret Batya; however these were very frum & uncompromising Jews struggling to keep Shemitah, and therefore treated the same then as charedim would later be treated), the assimilationists attacking them with everything they had because they knew no one would stop them, no one would care, and that the charedim had no way of defending themselves.

In fact, the only reason I think why they didn't make an outright physical attack is because that would make them look bad. But starving the charedim, denying them access to medical care and employment, and other forms of wicked sabotage – these were all sneaky underhanded tricks with obvious repercussions, yet the assimilationists got away with it.

It would be much harder to do that now. The charedi community is much stronger.

And there you have it.

The point is that if charedim would've compromised in the way many people still wish they would, a lot of the above benefits would have been lost.

And the above doesn't even begin to cover the great benefit of Jews keeping Torah & mitzvot in Eretz Yisrael (including learning Torah), which you don't need to be specifically charedi to do, but it is something that charedim do well and people hate them for it.

Note: I don't mean to exclude any non-charedi religious people, who are very precious yerei Shamayim and have also contributed to all the good things mentioned in this post. This post zones in on the charedi impact specifically, but certainly, all frum people contribute to the good just by being frum. And as mentioned within the post, the dati/chardal also produce large families and contribute to job creation and increased housing production, natural remedies, increased Torah observance, and better birth options, etc.

0 Comments

What is the Authentic Torah Response to Jew-Hatred?

29/12/2019

2 Comments

I guess we've all heard by now about the shocking stabbing attack in Monsey, along with other incidents of Jew-hatred in both New York and London.

Please continue saying Tehillim for the complete refuah of Yehosef ben Perel, Meir Yehosef ben Vittel, Shloime ben Vittel and Naftali Tzvi ben Gila.(Source)

And these are just the latest.

Often, these are followed by calls to make aliyah.

As a Jew who lives in Eretz Yisrael, I obviously think living in Eretz Yisrael is a great idea.

Also, I've grown to both like & admire many of this blog's chutznik readers who've left comments and sent emails, and I would love to have such special, sincere Jews as neighbors in my building or street, so there is a "selfish" reason for my wanting you to make aliyah.

Certainly, the valiant Chassidim who strove to protect their fellow Jews from the machete-wielding attacker by throwing a coat rack, a table, and rocks on him while getting the others out to safety – not to mention, the quick-witted father who locked the doors to the shul just in time while calling for fellow congregants to lock the other entrances too – these are very precious frum individuals whom I would like to have in my community.

And it's particularly odd & disturbing that the first part of the incident occurred in the Rebbe's living room (i.e., not a publicly accessible place) – and on Chanukah.

And yes, there is the famous saying (I think attributed to Rabbi Noach Weinberg z"l) that goes something like: "When they start killing Jews in the street, it's time to leave."

The thing that many of us pro-aliyah people forget is that Jews have been killed in the streets of Eretz Yisrael too, rachmana litzlan.

Hashem is the Only Real "Safe Space"

Something I find very sobering is that there is not one "safe" place in the world today for Jews.

At one point, Jews could escape pogroms, institutional persecution and discrimination, and later, the Shoah, by fleeing to North America.

South America and Great Britain also proved to be places that Jews could live in relative freedom and thrive.

But the world is shrinking in that regard. Even places reputed to host genial & open-minded non-Jews (like Sweden, Norway, and Denmark) are facing serious problems with Jew-hatred.

Even Antarctica isn't an option, due to it being populated by secular liberals from around the world. (Secular liberals aren't exactly into Jewish values or protecting Torah-observant Jews.)

And yes, I have always felt "safe" in Eretz Yisrael – safer than I ever did anywhere else in the world. Even when I feared to ride the buses during Rabin's bulldozering "Piece" Plan, I still felt relatively safe other than that.

If you read any sefer in authentic Torah Judaism or any discussion in Chazal of the proper response to Jew-hatred, it always has to do with our own service of Hashem, particularly avodat halev; Hashem wants our hearts.

Rav Avigdor Miller constantly spoke of this, that performing mitzvot with joy is our main salvation.

Sure, if you can move to a safer geographical location, then that's good hishtadlut (effort-making).

But since the Shoah, there has been an all-consuming focus on geographical location being the remedy for persecution and genocide.

This was Theodore Herzl's propaganda (among others) and it has permeated the frum community too, to an extent.

And so...

You can be a goy in Eretz Yisrael too. People have done it & still do it.

You can be a total rasha in Eretz Yisrael too. People have done it & still do it.

If you feel that Eretz Yisrael in the best place to live to increase you avodat Hashem and be a better Jew, that it's worth giving up a more comfortable gashimiut for a deeper ruchniut...then those are wonderful reasons to make aliyah.

If you feel that the Torah tells you to go to Eretz Yisrael, that you wish to follow the passages in Chazal that encourage making one's permanent home in Eretz Yisrael, then that's a wonderful reason.

Our biggest tzaddikim have done exactly that throughout the ages.

However...will you be physically safer here than anywhere else?

I'm not sure. Maybe. Maybe yes! A couple of the Gedolei Hador are reputed to have said exactly that.

But really, it all goes back to keeping Torah and mitzvot with your heart.

It goes back to separating yourself from non-Jewish culture, to stop admiring all sorts of aspects of the culture of your country.

This includes us in Eretz Yisrael, by the way.

How many Jews here have tried to adapt non-Jewish values to life in Eretz Yisrael?

How many Jews put their trust in politicians? (And who cares if they're "religious" or not? We aren't into politicians or getting too close to the government in general. Big mistake.)

But who cares what I say or think?

I'm not a big talmid chacham and never will be.

So here are the words of others on this topic:

Anti-Semitism Through the Lens of the Torah
Rav Avigdor Miller on Rising Anti-Semitism
Rav Avigdor Miller on Joining the Fight Against Antisemitism
Rav Avigdor Miller on Understanding the Holocaust
Rav Avigdor Miller on Our Response to Antisemitism (Please scroll down to the last video.)
Should We Daven About Antisemitism? (Rav Itamar Schwartz)
To Live in Eretz Yisrael or Not? (Rav Itamar Schwartz)
What is Galus America? (Rav Itamar Schwartz)
Perspective toward the Netanyahu Government? (Includes question regarding Satmar hashkafah & the answer regarding the government is most interesting and one I've never heard before or since – also by Rav Itamar Schwartz)

Our Best Response to Increasing Acts of Jew-Hatred

Tachlis: What are we supposed to be doing?

And this includes me, needless to say, because we are all part of the same "body," so to speak. Meaning that me and the Jews stabbed in Monsey are all fingers on the same hand, so to speak.

So if someone gets whacked by a machete in Monsey, I in Eretz Yisrael need to ask myself what I can do to prevent this from happening again.

Well, here are the words of the Kaliver Rebbe ztz"l, who not only survived the Shoah with his emunah fully intact, but also survived Mengeles's sadistic "experiments":

Solid emunah in Hashem (really knowing that Hashem is running EVERYTHING)
Loving our fellow Jews
Serving Hashem with joy
Keeping Shabbat scrupulously
Saying "Shema Yisrael"

By embracing the above, the Kaliver Rebbe assures us we do not need to fear wars.
(See here: The Kaliver Rebbe: "Each day is its own Yom Hashoah.")

Note especially his final quote:

"When we say Shema Yisrael, and we are unified there is no need to worry about another Holocaust."

Also, Rav Miller explains how the Torah states that the most horrific things can befall us simply for not serving Hashem b'simcha.(!!!) Please see here:

God Just Wants Us to Enjoy Life & Have Fun: Rav Miller on Parshat Ki Tavo

And please see his original dvar Torah here:

Parshas Ki Savo 2 – Serving Hashem with Joy

Finally, some wonderful advice from Shiffy Friedman's H.E.A.R.T. Initiative arrived in my Inbox recently.

The entire article is about how to bring one's heart into the picture, and not go through life as a glazed-eyed observer.

First of all, she takes on the kind of self-criticism that often passes for self-accounting (boldface & underline mine):

Too often, when we delve into our inner world, we end up with yet another layer of self-criticism.

“Oh,” we tell ourselves, “You’re just trying to cop out of life. I know why you’re eating/buying/doing this now/why you just wasted two hours on the computer/phone/why you made this massive Chanukah bash. It’s because you want to numb your emotions/you don’t want to face what you’re really feeling.”

In this way, we’re actually turning our self-exploration against us.

Then she comes up with this gem (underline mine):

While self-exploration can be painful—it often involves looking inside the crevices our heart we’ve been turning a blind eye to for too long, if it only makes us more resentful of ourselves or others, that’s a sign that it’s not only not helpful, but harmful.

If we're becoming angrier or our hatred is increasing, then that's a sign we aren't doing a real cheshbon hanefesh; we're not doing real teshuvah.

Real teshuvah (as opposed to imitation teshuvah) actually makes us better people.

That's its whole point.

She recommends taking the time to contemplate what we've done right and to discover our inner light (which emanates from the pure neshamah).

I think what she's aiming for is getting in touch with the yetzer hatov, and not just focusing on the yetzer hara.

She says she'll be delving deeper into how exactly to do this next week.

This is the sign-up for her newsletter:
emotionalwellnessthroughTorah@gmail.com (Type "subscribe" in the subject line.)

(And just for knowing, I receive nothing for promoting that nor does she even know I'm promoting it. I just find it beneficial & wish to share it with others.)

The Avodah of the Heart

As we've seen, switching countries is not enough. It's legitimate hishtadlut when necessary, but it's not the root solution.

Even fulfilling the mitzvah of yishuv Eretz Yisrael is not enough – we have seen how the actions of Erev Rav Jews and their victims within Eretz Yisrael actually lengthen the Exile and increase our suffering!

Wherever we are, it's avodat halev.

So to really save ourselves from the Jew-haters, we must:

Strengthen our emunah in Hashem.
Do whatever mitzvot we do with more heart, with real simcha.
Separate ourselves from the nations – and this includes a mental separation from their values & behaviors and any other anti-Torah influences

May we all succeed together in bringing the Geula sweetly & speedily.

2 Comments

How to Deal with Getting Slammed by Old Taavot Years after You Thought You Already Did Teshuvah for Them

8/12/2019

2 Comments

There is a common phenomenon that strikes most baalei teshuvah 10-15 (maybe even 20?) years after they become frum, but hardly anyone knows about it until it happens to them.

All of the sudden, they'll become consumed with the desire to do something they'd left behind, something they completely rejected and even forgotten about...until it suddenly hits them again with a vengeance.

It's like you're innocently strolling down the street in a good neighborhood, and all of the sudden you're ambushed by a lunging mugger, chas v'shalom.

I've heard people express all different desires, like yearning to hear old pop music, to smoke illicit substances, watch certain TV programs, go out to the dance club at night, and so on.

So I had this thing where I desperately wanted to go to a movie theater.

(I know. It's so embarrassing, isn't it? What a stupid inane thing.)

Initially, I stopped going to movie theaters without any inner struggle. I simply didn't want to.

I stopped watching movies and did not miss movie theaters or TV.

Then around 15 years later, I suddenly found myself yearning for the experience of picking out my favorite seat, and sitting there with a ginormous bucket of buttery popcorn and root beer, and then that sensation of anticipation when the lights go dim and the ginormous screen comes to life.

And I spent an embarrassing amount of time fantasizing about this. You know, like planning to go to one of those cheap-o sheitel gemachs and get a very realistic-looking sheitel and get clothes that secular people would wear, but that still cover everything that needs to be covered, and so on.

But fortunately, I never did it.

The question is why?

Because I'm sooooo pious and pumped with gevurah!

(No, just kidding. Gosh, I wish that had been the reason. But that wasn't the reason, unfortunately.)

It's Also Okay If Your Yetzer Hara is Stopped By Mere Inconvenience, And Not By Holier Reasons

The obstacle was really one of convenience.

First of all, I was living in Eretz Yisrael when this hankering hit me.

If you've ever been to movie theaters in Eretz Yisrael (may they all turn into batei midrash), then you know you must endure the distasteful experience of assigned seating. In a movie theater.

That right there ruins the entire experience.

That's right: When you go to pay for your tickets, you get tickets with seat numbers on them, just like on an airplane.

So before you even get inside the theater, your delicious experience is already marred by the tension of possibly receiving seats in a location that might at least somewhat diminish your enjoyment for the next 90 minutes.

(I know, I know. This is such an American problem, isn't it? "Slightly diminished pleasure for 90 minutes? – Aack! Help! SOS! I must have the full pleasure-experience or else I feel severely deprived! Aack!")

The next problem is that Israeli movie theaters impose a forced intermission precisely at the mid-point mark. So for a 90-minute movie, everything suddenly disappears and the lights go on at exactly the 45-minute mark, regardless of what's happening on screen.

Seriously.

Who needs intermission after only 45 minutes? In America, if you need to replenish candy bars at any point in the movie, you do it on your own time & cheshbon.

Enforced intermission totally ruins the movie-going experience.

For example, way back in my first year in Eretz Yisrael as a 19-year-old going on 20, I remember watching Last of the Mohicans in a movie theater, and just as the Mohican was straddling the white guy with a mighty rock raised in the Mohican's hands about to come smashing down on the white guy's head, the screen faded and the lights went on.

Intermission!

So the diminished pleasure of the Israeli movie-going experience combined with the difficulty of indulging myself without causing a chilul Hashem or being discovered, plus the fact that if you are a remotely decent person, there are no truly enjoyable movies to enjoy anyway...all that combined stopped me from doing it.

Baruch Hashem!

And the severe yearning eventually dissipated.

Now I don't feel like I need or want to relive the American movie theater experience, and I'm certainly grateful that I couldn't do so when I did feel that yearning.

(This is also yet another example of how material goals are not as easily facilitated in Eretz Yisrael, while spiritual goals are much more within grasp – in fact, you're even even forced into the ruchnius aspect, whether you want it or not and whether you realize it or not.)

The Less Poison, The Better!

Some people feel like if you need barriers or restraints to prevent you from doing the wrong thing, then you're fake and what's the point anyway?

It's true that Jews on the level of Rav Miller or Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus don't even WANT to go to a movie theater. Just the idea is like suggesting that they to go sit in a sewage tank.

No appeal, just revulsion.

But there is still virtue in not doing something, even for the flimsiest of reasons.

There is still benefit.

It's like ingesting more poison or less poison.

Even if you avoid certain poisons for silly reasons, like simply because they taste bad or even because you can't due to lack of availability, you still benefit because the less poison in life, the better!

Yes, self-restraint from the heart is ideal.

But, for example, all the food you didn't eat prevents obesity – even if the only reason you didn't overeat is simply because you could not access the overabundance of food.

All the illicit drugs you didn't take means you never overdosed into an early death.

All the "poison" you didn't ingest – for whatever the reason – means less damage to inner organs & quality of life.

You still benefit, despite your not-terribly-noble-nor-pure reasons for not committing the act.

What Should You Do When Those Old Longings Hit?

A post on non-kosher hankerings wouldn't be complete without the advice received from one of the only rebbetzins who was ever able to really help me to break out of certain culturally ingrained thought patterns.

She said that if these old taavot you thought you'd overcome and even forgotten about come slinging back at you, the solution is:

Just sit down with Hashem and talk about why.

Part of the reason is Hashem making sure you get it all out of your system for the right reasons, and extract it at its root.

But it's also good to look at what these old taavot mean to you and what that's telling you now.

Meaning, if the old songs make you feel a certain way and that's the root of what you're longing for, then there's a spiritual longing under all that, which needs to be addressed and nurtured.

It's the same idea with illicit drugs, illicit relationships, discotheque dancing, or anything else.

What is really going on beneath it all? What is the message?

That's one way of doing it.

You can also do sur m'ra v'aseh tov (Turn from evil and do good): Try not to think about it at all while simultaneously filling your mind and your life with spiritually delicious kosher thoughts & activities.

This is also the classic idea of taking your yetzer hara to the study hall – meaning that Torah is the antidote to your treif hankerings.

Eventually, it passes & you move on to the next level.

Beware the Snooty Yetzer Hara!

So please don't listen to others (including your own yetzer hara) who try to convince you that if you can only control yourself by placing some kind of barrier, or if you are only resisting because there is no outlet anyway, then your abstinence is worthless and fake.

FALSE.

For example, some people (even some frum people) think that if you need a solid filter on your Internet or to live in an entirely frum area to hold yourself together, or any other kind of "fence," then you are a hypocrite. You're not being "real." And so on.

FALSE.

The "purity of intentions" ideal is a particularly snooty holier-than-thou yetzer hara.

Yes, our goal is l'shem Shamayim and to act out purely of love for Hashem.

But avoiding sin for lesser reasons is also beneficial!

If you are being honest about your yetzer hara and what you need to resist it, then YOU ARE BEING REAL.

This also includes not adding more bad to the bad stuff you've already done.

Let's say that you gave in to the yearning to listen to, say, particularly angry rap music. But you still haven't given in to the yearning to smoke.

Don't think that you might as well smoke too just because you've already slid into angry rap music sung by gutter rats who are rolling in millions of dollars and STILL feel angry and resentful about life, and want to encourage everyone else to feel that way too (because that's how they are getting filthy rich).

Nope. Don't give in to that.

Remember: The less the poison the better!

May Hashem help us to succeed in overcoming our yetzer hara at all times.

It's okay if you avoid going here simply because you can't swim, and not for nobler reasons.

2 Comments

Harsh Judgement Generously Laced with Rachamim

13/11/2019

2 Comments

You've probably seen this video already, but it's always good to point out Hashem's Kindnesses:

Miracle: Rocket Slams into Highway near Gan Yavne, Just Missing Vehicles

If you look at the timeline beneath the video, you see that the rocket hits just behind the cars around the 6-7-second mark.

Pausing & moving the little seconds-tracker thing 1 minuscule step at a time shows that the missile missed the nearest cars by LESS than a second.

As one of my teenagers said, "If the drivers had put one less spoonful of sugar in their tea that morning, they would've been hit."

Also, the missile hit behind the cars on that side of the highway and not on the busier side.

The missile missed the cement mixer, the bus, and other cars by mere yards.

Yishtabach Shemo.

It has been clear from the inappropriate rain on Sukkot, followed by the unusually dry yet extremely windy (albeit not unpleasant) weather this winter, that Eretz Yisrael is under din right now.

Combine that with this renewed barrage of rockets & the threat of Iranian intervention, there is definitely some pretty serious din hanging over us right now.

Yet when Hashem times missiles to miss His People by tenths of a second or by only a handful of yards, it shows that He is still very much with us and not in punishment-mode, but wake-you-up-mode.

WAKE UP.

While we certainly share the tzaar of the people who've lost their homes or been injured by these attacks, we can still see that the din is laced with generous amounts of rachamim.

May we all merit to do teshuvah from love and bring the Geula in a sweet way.

2 Comments

Authentic Torah-True Self-Esteem & Self-Love with Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Ha'azinu (Hint: All that "Self" Stuff? It's Not Just about Yourself.)

10/10/2019

0 Comments

In Parshat Ha'azinu, we find that in Moshe Rabbeinu's painful last moments — intensified by his inability to enter his beloved Promised Land with the Nation in which he invested so much -- Hashem rebukes Moshe Rabbeinu.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah Parshas Ha'azinu: Recognizing the Greatness of Am Yisrael, Rav Miller points out that Moshe Rabbeinu is so great & his sin so fine-tuned (in Hashem's Eyes) that Chazal struggle to determine exactly what Moshe Rabbeinu's sin was.

Seeing as Moshe Rabbeinu achieved a closeness with Hashem that no other human being has achieved before or since, how could Hashem rebuke him in his final moments?

Yaaay...US!

In Tanach, it's written that Hashem chastises those whom He loves.

By criticizing Moshe Rabbeinu in his last moments, Hashem ensured that Moshe Rabbeinu would come into the Next World COMPLETELY cleansed of even the most minuscule speck of ego.

Remember, Moshe Rabbeinu was one of the humblest people who ever existed.

By criticizing him in his last moments, Hashem ensured the best Afterlife possible for Moshe Rabbeinu.

"The Bnei Yisroel, despite all the criticism, actually because of all the criticism, will remain His people and His servants till the End of Days. And that is so important to understand."

-Rav Avigdor Miller

This is so different than the ideas behind anyone's uppity "replacement theology."

(Not to mention the dire threats & curses Hashem promises to heap upon anyone who harms His People in any way.)

Rav Miller's next words are so important, I can't help copying & pasting the entire text here [all text in square brackets & boldface my own clarification/emphasis]:

We live in a world that doesn’t accept the greatness of the עם ישראל [Am Yisrael/Nation of Israel].

It’s a world of darkness and sheker [falsehood].

And it has an effect on us. Absolutely it does. And therefore, you will have to put effort into internalizing the truth of the greatness of our people.

And no matter how much you speak about it, it won’t be enough.

Now, I know that you all think that it’s a waste of time for me to talk about this.

You all believe it already. You all believe that the עם ישראל is Hashem’s beloved people.

But it’s not enough to simply believe. That’s almost worthless. You have to know and understand the greatness of our nation more than you know anything else in the world.

There is a certain prevalent attitude of knocking the frumeh, the best that our nation has to offer.

We have to be aware of this and realize that there is a certain form of anti-semitism in Jews themselves. When Jews knock the frum community it’s nothing but an echo of the anti-semitism in their own hearts.

You don’t realize how much the environment outside is affecting you.

I know that you don’t want to hear this, but most of you in this room are goyim. Yes, you are covered with a thin layer of Orthodoxy, but under that, if you scratch a little bit of the paint off, you’ll find that you’re thinking like the goyim around you.

It’s affecting you all the time.

The negative comments about frum Jews – whether individuals or different groups – that one hears from Orthodox Jews is simply the infiltration of gentile propaganda into our minds.

Not only gentile influence, but even more insidious is the influence of the non-religious Jews.

The Reformers, the Zionists, and all the Jewish resha’im have nothing but contempt for authentic Torah Judaism, and for those who practice it. We live among the resha’im, we see them, we speak with them, we read their writings, and we therefore think like them.

And therefore, the only way to counter that propaganda is by heaping praises on the Klal Yisroel as often and as much as you can.

Everywhere you go, you can find opportunities to speak the praises of the עם ישראל. And if you can’t find opportunities, then you have to be wise enough and alert enough to make them.

Every day brings you many varied opportunities to propagandize on behalf of Hashem’s people.

(Note: If you are either offended by or can't imagine how Rav Miller could possibly call Zionists "reshaim," then please see A Review of "Guardian of Jerusalem" and What Do the Sephardi Gedolim Say about Tziyonut, the Medinah, and All That? You may still not agree, but it helps to at least understand why someone else thinks the way he does.)

And maybe it's important to acknowledge that yes, people will accuse you of being an apologist.

People will accuse you of having your head buried in the sand or of sporting rose-colored glasses.

People will respond with unpleasant stories of the misdeeds of frum-looking folk (whether true or not).

And from personal experience, it does not matter much if you acknowledge the ugly warts marring the frum community as you extol its virtues and all the wonderful people you've met that you never met or heard of in any other community in the world.

Acknowledging the warts is simply not "honest" enough for some people.

Unless you're trash-talking the frum community, you may be considered a distasteful, stupid, naive, hypocritical, blind apologist.

But you're not.

Unconscious Propaganda-Indoctrinated Hypocrisy

Unfortunately, I was also affected by this at one point, thinking that being negative or focusing on negativity was being "honest."

I see that many, many frum Jews of all different stripes also suffer this mistaken assumption (again, with the very good intention of yearning to display honesty & sensitivity).

It was only after feeling somewhat battered during so many conversations with non-frum Jews (or anti-charedi Orthodox Jews) that I started to wake up.

Whether it was people I'd known and liked my whole life — and felt they'd always liked me too — or getting blindsided after I thought I'd made a completely innocent and inoffensive comment (including all the mental struggle to find just the right words so as not to offend, then the other person getting all offended anyway), or being confronted out of the blue in a way that would NEVER be tolerated by that same person if I (or any other frum person) would dare do that...I started to realize who the real hypocrites were.

(Even though they didn't mean to be hypocrites; it was unintentional hypocrisy resulting from living in a culture in which the views deemed "politically incorrect" are presented in a distorted manner.)

For example, when I visiting my parents in the USA, an old family friend and one of my favorite adults growing up stopped by.

We were all enjoying a friendly conversation that drifted to the state of many "Conservative" (who are actually anti-Torah liberals) Jews in New York (where this man was originally from), and how it differs from "Conservative" Jews in most other parts of America.

Mentally struggling to find just the right word and keep the conversation inoffensive (for them, anyway), I settled on what I felt was a fairly neutral word: "traditional."

So I replied that the "Conservative" Jews in New York seemed more "traditional" than in other areas.

This old family friend smirked, then said, "You mean RIGID!" Then he and some others (not my wonderful parents) chuckled self-indulgently.

I felt punched. And outnumbered.

No, I did NOT mean "RIGID."

"RIGID" is not how I view people who are basically shomer Shabbat and observe more of the authentic halacha. (Halevei these "Conservative" New York Jews would become fully frum!)

And it's odd how he knee-jerk responded to the word "traditional."

"Traditional" really can be viewed positively, negatively, or neutrally. It's interesting that he reacted so defensively to the (accurate) insinuation that the more mitzvah-observant "Conservative" Jews in New York were indeed more, well, traditional.

Turning it around, how do you think this same person would respond had I said that "Conservative" Jews outside of New York tend to be even more compromised and assimilated than their already somewhat compromised and assimilated New York counterparts?

That's actually TRUE, by the way.

"Conservative" Jews ARE compromised and assimilated. Even the ones who don't mean to be and are simply misled by their pompous leadership, even they are still compromised and assimilated.

Do you see what I mean?

Double standard.

(In case you're wondering, I did not respond in any way, nor did I show I was hurt or offended.)

That's just one example.

Where is All That Religious Coercion I Keep Hearing About?

Anyway, I started to realize who really engaged in thought-policing, "religious" (i.e. secular or anti-Torah) coercion, the imposing of their "religious" beliefs on others, and so on.

I couldn't help noticing that the most open-minded people, the people most concerned about the feelings of others (including those with differing opinions) were the more religious Jews -- whether they classified themselves specifically as charedi or whether they were just sincerely frum Jews who strove to uphold every iota of halacha regardless of any label.

As written in previous posts, I've had very positive experiences with the level of openmindedness of the Yerushalmi women I met when I lived in the Geula-Meah Shearim area of Yerushalayim.

I've repeatedly seen how so many frum Jews try to reassure others to feel comfortable around them, try very hard to hold onto their own values without offending others (keeping to the laws of lashon hara, for example, can be very tricky in today's culture of "I-have-a-right-to-express-myself-darn-it-and-if-I-can't-then-there'll-be-heck-to-pay").

Are You Searching for the Key to Self-Love & Self-Esteem? Introducing the REAL Pure Torah-Style Expression of Self-Love & Self-Esteem...

Rav Miller suggests we avoid wasting opportunities to insert Torah positives into conversations at:

weddings
bar mitzvahs
waiting in line
any other social opportunity

Rav Miller suggests we notice (and APPRECIATE) the following:

families with many children
a mother walking with a baby carriage
tsniusly dressed girls
little boys wearing tzitzit & kippahs
fully kosher homes (despite the extra expense and effort involved)
fully kosher mezuzot on every doorpost of every home (not cheap, especially the beautified ones) — and then you need to tend to their upkeep and check them every so often
frummies give 10% (at minimum!) of their earnings to tzedakah (and NOT meaningless art museums, but REAL tzedakah)
all the Jewish parents who send their children to frum schools, despite the expense (especially in America) and sometimes the distance (I met a Chabad family in Long Island who drove their daughters to an excellent frum school that meant driving one hour EACH WAY every day!)

If you live in a frum neighborhood, and especially if you live in Eretz Yisrael, you get to see sukkot everywhere. It's a real joy, especially if you grew up as a Jewish minority in America.

Instead of Halloween decorations hawked everywhere & carols already crooning from the radios and mall loudspeakers in November, you hear frum pop music and see sukkah decorations for sale until all hours. Sukkah boards and lumber stand along sidewalks and stick out of the backs of cars.

During Sukkot, you get to hear everyone singing from their sukkot because you're all outside together.

Baruch Hashem, we have such sounds and sights in our Land once more! May all Jews be redeemed sweetly to Eretz Yisrael and may Hashem erect the fallen Sukkah of David Hamelech.

And again, especially in Eretz Yisrael, the Sukkot weather is usually very pleasant (unless you live in a very humid area or there are thunderstorms & rain once or twice during the week-long holiday).

But heck, even that's part of the fun, everyone needing to escape into the house in the middle of the night. (The children, anyway, have very positive memories of this as fun.)

"A whole nation of people, all types of people, sacrificing and laboring for their ideals, for Torah ideals. And they are a people that are loyal to Hashem. There’s nothing better than the frum community, make no mistake about it."

- Rav Avigdor Miller

Of course, Rav Miller acknowledges that some frum people aren't behaving as they should.

Yes, there is what to criticize.

He says it in the long quote above.

He says it in most divrei Torah.

He says it in his advice for shalom bayit.

But he loves his fellow frummies anyway.

And he emphasizes that there is actually a lot to love!

Having lived in different places and communities throughout my life and having studied anthropology (the study of other cultures) in college, I can definitely attest to the fact that the level of chessed found in the frum community is unparalleled.

It may not always be perfect, but even with its flaws, it's unparalleled.

Recent emergency tzedakah campaigns have demonstrated the profound achvah we feel for each other and our generosity proves our respect for the mitzvah of redeeming captives or aiding the sick.

"There’s no better time than now, as we begin the new year, to make a commitment to yourself. This year is going to be a year of raising the banner of the greatness of our people. This year I’m going to look only at the good of our people – because really there is so much good to see."

- Rav Avigdor Miller

There's an art to finding and focusing on the good points of Am Yisrael, particularly the frum community.

Rav Miller acknowledges that you need to plan for it. You need to make a project out of it.

This is very important as far as sweetening din goes too.

Rav Miller quotes Mesillat Yesharim (Chapter 19) on this:

”אין הקדוש ברוך הוא אוהב אלא למי שאוהב את ישראל — Hashem only loves only those who love the Jewish people”

(Mesillat Yesharim is a sefer with which no one can disagree. If you start quoting the Tanya, the last Lubavitcher Rebbe's sichos, or Rebbe Nachman's Azamra, people think it doesn't apply to them if they aren't in that group. But who is going to dismiss Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto?)

"And therefore, what better way to find favor in the eyes of Hashem, than to praise and love His people. Think of their praises all the time. Speak of their praises all the time. And love them all the time because of their greatness. And the more you do that, the more Hashem loves you. And there is nothing greater in the world than the love of Hashem."

-Rav Avigdor Miller

All credit for all quotes goes to the much appreciated Toras Avigdor.

0 Comments

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Vayeilech: Why is Material Abundance So Incredibly Dangerous? And What the Heck are We Supposed to Do About It?

4/10/2019

0 Comments

In this week's Parshas Vayeilech – Test of Abundance, Rav Avigdor Miller offers some very interesting insights.

First of all, he explains that the Chivi nation (one of the 7 Canaanite nations within Eretz Yisrael before the Jews entered as a Torah Nation) were soil-experts.

Different kinds of vegetation needs different kinds of soil. Some need more alkaline soil, some need more acidic soil.

Chivi comes from the Aramaic word for "snake": chivya. These Chivim would taste the soil (like how snakes lick dust) and based on that, they decided what to plant there.

Rav Avigdor Miller paints a picture of this ancient Eretz Yisrael (pg. 2):

And so, in Cana’an were found the biggest agricultural experts that ever lived.

And because they put everything they had into beautifying the land, the whole land became like one big garden.

They terraced every hill, every mountainside, in Eretz Yisroel.

There wasn’t a span of earth that was uncultivated. And the very best produce grew there.

It was a remarkable thing what they made from that land.

If we could take a look at the land as it was when the Bnei Yisroel entered, we would have gasped in amazement at the remarkable fertility of that land.

The Golan Heights (courtesy of Joe Markiewicz)

And this was precisely the problem for Am Yisrael.

What is an Even Bigger Threat than the & Canaanite Nations?

What was the biggest danger Am Yisrael faced upon entering the Land?

The occultist human-sacrificing warrior Canaanite nations?

Nope. Hashem dealt with them.

The biggest danger was being given this botanical Land flowing with milk and honey, this fruitful Land dotted with beautiful homes.

As it says in the parsha to Am Yisrael: You'll eat. You'll even be satiated. And you'll be able to eat so much, you'll get fat.

And then you'll turn to the gods of others.

"Hishamru! Watch out!" says Hashem in the parsha. "Lest your minds will be led astray."

Rav Miller comments (pg. 3)

When there’s plenty to eat, that’s when people have to watch out.

Then Rav Miller enumerates different societies: the Mayans, the Ancient Egyptians, the ancient Greeks, the Romans...they all self-destructed after they got wealthy.

It's true that when Americans needed to work for their food, they were better off, ethically speaking.

Prior to the 20th century, Americans loved Mishlei/Proverbs & Kohelet/Ecclesiastes, naming their children from Tanach or after middot lauded in Mishlei. ("Charity" & "Patience" used to be popular names for girls, while "Reason" & "Truth" were popular for boys.)

Basic manners were prized, as were the embodiment of Mishlei middot like humility, honesty, and integrity.

Women provided a natural barrier to negative social behavior, with men curbing their behavior and speech around females, and the expectation to behave with chivalry meant that men needed to treat women with extra courtesy & selflessness - and sometimes, even with courage in situations which demanded the protection of females.

Women too were expected to behave in a dignified manner with appearance, which encouraged dignified male treatment.

All this is looked down upon in modern society, to the harm of both men & women, though most won't admit this.

And while so many old-fashioned names have come back in style (including Biblical ones like Elijah and truly strange ones like Atticus), the "virtue" names are some of the only old-fashioned names NOT being used.

And while people will name their children any other name, no matter how strange, people just aren't interested in naming their children Patience or Reason. Scarlet? Yes. Chastity? No.

(In fact, one baby-name website discourages people from using the name "Chastity," calling it "so weird, it's cruel," while another insists that it will cause the child deep psychological problems later in life. Yet the first website sees nothing wrong with the "L" name of a well-known demoness, which has become increasingly popular for American girls in recent years. And yes, the origin of the name is clearly stated, yet apparently it's not considered weird or cruel to call your daughter that name.)

It's a sign of the times.

Furthermore, it's ironic that amid the greatest food abundance in history, eating disorders like anorexia & bulimia have become serious threats. You'd expect obesity in a society bursting with easy access to abundant food, but starvation and purging?

Only societies with an overabundance of food can afford such eating disorders in such large percentages.

What is the Big Danger of Material Abundance?

At the same time, Rav Miller cautions us to appreciate America for all it has given the Jewish people: the freedom to build kosher shuls, kosher schools, and walk as a Jew down the street.

(Unfortunately, this is changing in America. But at the time of Rav Miller it was still true and let's face it: The current upswing in hateful acts against Jews is still not what it was in many places in Europe in the 20s & 30s.)

But throughout the dvar Torah, Rav Miller emphasizes that material abundance is a terrible danger.

Material abundance even causes people to forget Hashem.

They rebel against Hashem.

And if you look at the children of billionaires, you see a lot of issues with drugs, eating disorders, petty crime, and wanton behavior.

Even princesses have had children out of wedlock and it's no longer something they need to hide.

And with so much money at their disposal, why don't they make major donations to change lives?

I don't mean show-donations (where the money gets funneled into the pockets of the organizers or stolen by thugs) or creating not-terribly-useful make-me-look-good charities; I mean really changing lives & even societies for the better by channeling their money and their skills in the right way.

But no, they focus on their hobbies and their parties and, for some of them, their celebrity status & their brands.

The Callow Kasha

I admit that when I first became frum, I didn't understand making a shehechiyanu on a new outfit.

"You just go into a store, try it on, pay for it, then take it home and wear it. What's the big deal?" I didn't understand how it was different than buying a bakery cake.

(I'm a bit embarrassed now by my naive lack of understanding & appreciation back then.)

I expressed my puzzlement to a couple hosting me one Shabbos, and they chuckled good-naturedly, then explained that in the not-so-distant past, a new piece of clothing was a big deal. Accessing & choosing fabric, plus all the manual labor than went into it — it was a VERY big deal.

The metaphorical light bulb snapped on, and I immediately understand how callow I was — without even realizing or meaning to be.

My family was "just" suburban middle-class, but even that was too much in the sense that Rav Miller means. Because I didn't appreciate exactly what a new outfit meant, I couldn't understand thanking Hashem for it in a whole special bracha. (Back then. Now I get it.)

And that's just a small example of how material abundance distances you from Hashem if you're not careful.

When "Kosher" Mediocrity isn't Enough

On page 10, Rav Miller explains the main name for the yetzer hara: chatat. (Or chatas, if you're Ashkenazi.)

You come across the word cheit a lot in Torah literature. It's usually translated as "sin."

But these related words (chatat & cheit) actually mean:

“to miss out” — to not utilize the opportunity of life to become something.

Rav Miller stresses that if you're not trying to achieve personal completion in life, if you're not trying to intensify your awareness of Hashem, then you're missing out.

You can really end up sinning when you just settle for "kosher" mediocrity.

Rav Miller explains that experiences like Yom Kippur & teshuvah cleanse you of sin. Gehinnom also cleanses you of sin. It's painful & takes a while, but it cleanses.

Yet being clean isn't enough.

To really make it into Gan Eden, we need to step up our game.

On page 11:

To live in the World to Come you must have accomplishment. And that’s the big test, the most important test in this world — are you making something from yourself? If a person fails to accomplish, for that he can never atone!

He doesn't mean you can't do teshuvah for not living up to your full potential.

You can always change yourself for the better!

He means that at the end of the day, if you were meant to be a big baalat chessed or write sparkling chiddushim, yet you were texting or surfing instead, atonements cannot turn you into a baalas chessed or a talmid chacham. They can only cleanse you of the sin.

But they can't accomplish what you could have had you made the effort.

A List of Meaningful Activities

On page 12, Rav Miller elaborates on the types of meaningful things people could do with their time:

attend shiurim
listen to mussar
increase daat
learn Torah
learn halachot
increase Torah
increase yirat Shamayim
learn Chumash properly
learn Mishnayot properly
learn a little bit of Gemara (at least)

For women specifically, he adds:

read good books
increase knowledge of lessons in Tanach
increase knowledge of lessons in history
increase knowledge of yirat Shamayim

Rav Miller adds:

The Gra told his daughters to learn mussar seforim. Absolutely; it’s very important. A girl, a woman can become very great in acquiring a Torah mentality, a Torah mind, no less than a man.

Following the above, it should be emphasized that Rav Miller was no apologist.

He said whatever he understood was the Torah truth, even if it made people mad, even if they rejected him, left his shul, stopped talking to him, and wrote him angry letters or subjected him to angry phone calls or subjected him to public disagreement carried out in a disrespectful manner or called him names.

He was like a superpower locomotive charging down the iron track of daas Torah; nothing could stop him or derail him.

So when Rav Miller states that, just by virtue of learning whatever she should learn and coming close to Hashem, a woman can become very great in acquiring "a Torah mentality, a Torah mind, no less than a man"...you can certainly take him at his word.

He's not blubbering up to the feminists. He darn well means what he says.

What is a Cheit?

The great sin we need to teshuvah for on Yom Kippur, says Rav Miller, is the tragic cheit of not accomplishing enough spiritually.

Yes, he asserts that forgetting to say ya'aleh v'yaavo in Rosh Chodesh davening or letting grumpy word slip to your spouse are indeed sins for which we must regret and ask forgiveness (also from the spouse).

All the things we did wrong or forgot must be included in Yom Kippur.

But the main thing, the big life-transforming cheit, is that of missed opportunity.

It is all the times we could have done something good, but didn't.

It is all the times we could have spent our time meaningfully, but didn't.

It was all the opportunities we had to increase our closeness to and awareness of Hashem...but didn't.

More Than Just Frum: How to be a Real Success

Then Rav Miller elaborates on the lifestyle of kosher entertainment.

This is the big challenge of our generation.

We have so much. What do we do with it?

For those who can afford it, there are kosher cruises with "kosher" entertainment. There are 5-start hotels glatt l'mehadrin. There are amazing European vacations — all glatt l'mehadrin, no gebruchts, separate swimming, Shabbos locks on the doors, etc. etc.

We have kosher movies, kosher novels, kosher circuses, kosher comedy, kosher designer clothing and accessories, kosher treifus (if you know what I mean).

Women can totally knock your eyes out today (according to the creme de le creme of goyishe standards), while technically covering her knees, elbows, and hair. She may not even look frum or like she's covering her hair.

American have Sundays to fill. Many frum schools make Sunday a half-day of learning for the boys (which comes with its own challenges, BTW), but Sundays can still offer frum families the opportunities for glatt entertainment & other activities.

Boating, fishing, shopping — these aren't evil or sinful, but are these really activities a Torah Jew should be indulging on a regular basis? (I mean as regular lifestyle and not as an occasional rejuvenating activity.)

In the modern Orthodox community from which I initially entered into Orthodoxy, Motzai Shabbos was definitely movie night, either going out to the theater or renting a video at home.

Of course, it stands to reason that a person might occasionally need a kosher venue as a break from a truly stressful life. People struggling with family illness might take advantage of Sukkot in a hotel with all the amenities, for example.

The phenomenally hospitable & unmaterialistic Machlis family spent Pesach in a hotel in order to have true family time together & to really pass on the Pesach mesorah.

But pages 10-14 elaborate on all the ways many precious Jews get caught up materialism. Even when it's combined with spiritual meaning, it doesn't always justify the means or the ends. Sometimes, yes. But not always.

On page 14, Rav Miller states:

In order to make something out of yourself, you need time; you need a mind, you need to be free to work on thinking about Hakodosh Boruch Hu, thinking about all of the great Torah principles we talk about in this place.

And if you’re too busy with the unnecessary luxuries of this world so you become arrogant with satiation and it’s impossible to succeed.

You might be frum, very frum, even very very frum, but a success you won’t be.

Live So You'll Have No Regrets in the Next World

On page 15, Rav Miller describes what Hashem will ask us:

Did you engage in this study?
Did you learn about Me?
Did you use your gift of free-will when you had before you such a wonderful world of lessons, lessons in the sky, lessons on the earth, and lessons in the Torah?
Did you utilize them?

And Rav Miller urges us to think about the consequences of our answers, like if we say, "I was traveling, I was on the phone, I was so busy shopping for a new outfit for Yom Tov!"

If you've ever felt regret in This World, imagine what regret in like in the Next when you have no screen of denial, no unconscious back-of-the-mind in which to bury it, no excuses...

Happily Ever After? Living Without Gets You There.

Rav Miller makes a statement that he admits many will find extremist, but he says that whatever you can accustom yourself to living without, you should live without.

Sure, there are some things you need to make life easier. A big enough washing machine, a dryer when you have several children — all these make a massive difference.

I've lived with a too-small washing machine and no dryer, so I saw that these things aren't luxuries per se. It depends. Sometimes, it makes the difference between a well-run home and a poorly-run home. Same thing with air-conditioning — mothers have personally told me that they speak & behave so much more nicely when the air-conditioning is on during a hot humid day. These aren't ladies who need custom shaitels or cars (in Eretz Israel, of course; cars are a necessity in the USA).

On pages 17-18, Rav Miller describes what was considered wealthy back when he was in Lithuania pre-WWII. (Lots of challah in milk — a sure sign of abundance!) And poor meant that a child could not have a second slice of bread. And that's how it was.

As an aside, I remember it took me years to get out of the habit & mentality of "going out" Motzai Shabbos. Not movies or anything unkosher at all, just going out.

Again, there's nothing innately wrong with it, and it can even be a good refreshing activity when necessary, but it's like Rav Miller said: If you don't need it, try to wean yourself off it.

Ultimately, it wasn't my choice.

I was in a place in which nothing was open Motzai Shabbos, and sometimes I felt like I would jump out of my skin or scream if I couldn't go out somewhere.

Sometimes, I went walking Motzai Shabbos, either by myself or with my husband or a friend. And that was really good exercise, plus air after being in the house most of the day.

And now, I rarely have the urge to "go somewhere" Motzai Shabbos.

Frankly, I don't think it would have been so bad if I would've gone out somewhere during those times I was jumping out of my skin, but it just wasn't an option.

And now it's fine.

On pages 18-19, Rav Miller explains the symbolism of bowing in Shemoneh Esrei.

It's very worth reading the entire dvar Torah. If you don't get a chance to read it before Shabbat, at least read it before Yom Kippur.

It's very, very helpful.

As always, all credit for all quotes goes to Toras Avigdor.

Even the biggest jar of honey can't sweeten this apple. Try to do without as much as you can.

0 Comments

Rav Avigdor Miller Discusses the Truth behind the Good Stuff of This World in Parshat Netzavim

25/9/2019

0 Comments

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah Parshas Netzavim – The purpose of worldly reward, we get a powerful lesson in avodat halev — service of the heart.

The parsha opens up by talking about someone who is technically frum (looks frum, acts frum)...but inside, this Jew's "heart turns today from being with Hashem to go and serve the gods of other nations" (Devarim 29:17).

And despite hearing the frightening curses, this Jew will quietly bless himself (or herself!) and say, "Peace will be with me though I go with however my heart sees fit" (Devarim 29:18).

Despite this Jew's outer service and mitzvah observance, just this inner turn off the good path causes Hashem to label him (or her!) as "a root flourishing with gall and wormwood."

Pretty heavy stuff.

Eretz Yisrael: The Pipeline to Olam Haba, Not Olam Hazeh

In part, the above contains a very stern warning not to misuse tuv ha'Aretz — the goodness of the Land.

While we need to attend to our physical and material needs, Eretz Yisrael is for our spiritual benefit.

We cannot become materialists in Eretz Yisrael.

The material abundance is only here to enable us to greater spiritual heights.

I believe this one of the reasons why material accomplishments now come so much harder in Eretz Yisrael — or don't come at all, despite all the material abundance lurking just beneath the surface.

Look at what happened and is happening to those who use Eretz Yisrael's gifts for material pursuits.

Yet spiritual accomplishments are so much easier to reach in Eretz Yisrael. For example, it's so much easier to daven in Eretz Yisrael than anywhere else.

And to facilitate our davening we have the place of the Shechinah, the Kotel. And we also have some of the most powerful gravesites in the world as a conduit for fruitful prayers.

As a British friend of mine once declared in a fit of angst prior to a visit outside of Eretz Yisrael: "I can't PRAY in England!"

And I know exactly what she means.

(Disclaimer: I realize that many people pray very well in chutz l'Aretz and have developed tremendous spiritual greatness there. I'm just not one of them and neither is my British acquaintance, that's all.)

However, there are many people today who try to utilize tuv ha'Aretz for material goals only.

Again, that's NOT what this Land is for.

"The Most Perfect Land!"

Here, Rav Miller gives a luxuriant description of the abundance found in Eretz Yisrael (pg. 4):

Luscious and productive fields, beautiful orchards of various fruit, flowing streams of fresh water, and actual rivers of sweet date honey, mixed with fresh goat milk dotted the beautiful land. [Eretz zevat chalav u'devash], a land flowing with milk and honey, was not only a literal description of the land, but a symbol for a land that was filled with all forms of good.

The Jews in the Midbar were promised a Land bountiful in also sorts of fruits and the most desirable grain crops.

Fresh-water springs and high-quality water-wells, the choicest of oils, bread without poverty, plus quality metals like iron & copper — these were the promises of Hashem regarding Eretz Yisrael.

And we see Eretz Yisrael coming alive again in our days.

In this small strip of Land, we have impressive deserts with their awe-inspiring night skies, beautiful forests, lovely beaches with azure water, snow-capped mountains, rolling hills in muted rainbow colors, the Dead Sea, beautiful flowers, and so much more.

Yet among all that goodness lay the devastated cities of Sedom.

I have a book, The Stones Cry Out, in which the archaeologists note that the remains of Sedom's houses are burnt in a way that clearly shows the fire came from above — exactly as described in the Torah. (That's just one example; the book has a whole section on what they discovered at Sedom.)

Hashem promised this Land to the Avot because of their tremendous service & dedication to Hashem.

Eretz Yisrael is superior not only spiritually, but materially too.

"The most perfect land for the most perfect people!" Rav Miller proclaims.

What is the Whole Point of Luxury?

But this all begs a question.

If we are meant to be and actually are such a spiritual people so concerned with serving Hashem, then why all the material abundance?

Well, first of all: We are meant to elevate this world.

Furthermore, the more material abundance we enjoy, the more we can dedicate our hearts to serving Hashem & fulfilling the mitzvot — IF we make such avodah our focus.

As we all know, problems of disease, poor finances, war, or any other stresses distracts us from our service of Hashem.

How many times have we davened an entire Shacharit without even noticing a word we said because our minds couldn't let go of certain worries?

This is a big part of the reason why Hashem sends us problems when we don't serve Him properly.

We aren't using His Bounty as we should.

So He takes it away, chas v'shalom.

The Parable of the Office Water Cooler

Rav Miller compares it to a boss buying a nice water cooler for his employees.

He's not just doing it to be nice. Ditto when your boss doles out holiday gifts & bonuses.

He's trying to encourage your work quality.

People who feel good in their office environment want to stay. People work better with a cool refreshing drink by their side.

What would happen to the employees who chose to hang out by the water cooler all day and exchange useless banter & gossip, and even bad-mouth the boss?

You know what would happen.

And that's a big mashal for us.

What Makes You Get Fat Can Also Make You Kick If You Don't Watch Your Use of All the God-Given Bounty

The 7 Canaanite nations exploited the bounty of Eretz Yisrael to cultivate a culture of decadence, degeneracy, and cruelty.

This is like a bum who sees the quality & abundance of the wheat & barley of Eretz Yisrael and decides to invest in producing tons of beer & vodka for alcoholic consumption.

Rav Miller notes that many people today hunger after trouble and vices because they have too much to eat. They don't need focus on basic survival needs.

You see this throughout America and Europe.

Even though America's welfare system is nowhere near as generous as any of the European countries, America's poorest still get so much. Hardly anyone wants to admit that, but I've read accounts of grocery carts stocked with meat, seafood, and expensive bakery cakes — all paid for with government-given welfare.

So many Americans living in low-income areas and subsisting on welfare are obese.

Yes, I know that Twinkies are cheaper & more fun to eat than a package of frozen broccoli, but the point is that these people definitely have more than enough to eat.

Teens from welfare families all have "dumbphones."

The high school I attended comprised mostly working class students. The homecoming queen & head cheerleader worked after school to afford her clothes and the nice pick-up truck she drove to school. (It was a very pretty gray truck with a mauve interior & mauve lettering — very feminine for a truck.)

She was also a very decent person.

Despite being poor, a lot of the kids were fairly clean-cut. Not all of them, but many.

Their families either weren't poor enough to go on welfare or they were too proud to go on welfare. So people needed to work in order to acquire things. Oldest children couldn't go out partying or indulge in irresponsible behavior when they needed to care for younger siblings.

Many were also religious to some extent, and morality always helps whether you're rich or poor.

But the open secret is that in America, it's easy to have too much. People never feel like they have enough, but that's usually not true.

Rav Miller notes that people start ruminating over unnatural taavot "because they just have too much." (pg. 11)

And it's deceptively simple as that.

How to REALLY Drink that Fine "Wine"

Rav Miller states a big lesson:

The abundance of This World is meant as encouragement, not reward.

When we are down, we can have a drink.

A drink, not the whole vomit-inducing bottle.

Rav Miller recommended one despondent man to take a walk outside and enjoy the weather.

"Don't think about anything," Rav Miller advised. "Just enjoy it."

Then the rav prescribed the man eat a lot of ice cream and go to bed early for a good night's sleep. And to thoroughly enjoy himself!

Needless to say, a person should not do this every day or even every week.

That's taavah. That's gluttony. That's idleness.

But as an occasional pick-me-up when other methods don't work?

How is that different than taking medication for the occasional pain?

Also, if you really let yourself in enjoy the one-time indulgence, it gets you back to appreciating the world, which allows you to re-connect with Hashem.

Rav Miller sums up the balance here (pg. 13):

The function of good times in this world is to cheer up mourners. And that’s all of us!

Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants to give people strength and encouragement.

We want people to accomplish here in this world, and for that, life can’t be morose and morbid. You need good times to be a successful eved Hashem.

Only that some people, those who are wise,have sense enough to get along with a little sip of wine. A little bit of happiness is enough; they cheer up and get back to work, back to avodas Hashem.

And they live a happy life that way.

There are a lot of kosher ways to enjoy life; you just have to know how and when.

Hashem Never Lets a Good Deed Go Unrewarded. NEVER.

Another reason for the pleasures of this world is to grant reward to the wicked people. (This is in the Gemara.)

In His Infinite Compassion, Hashem grants even the worst people reward for the minuscule good they've done.

This should encourage the rest of us who aren't actually evil and have done a lot more than a teaspoon of good in the world.

If those really awful people get their reward, then all the more so with the rest of us!

The Massive Challenge in Our Times: Avoid Slurping Up All Your Merits!

Rav Miller stresses the importance of not "eating up" your merits in This World.

It's a massive challenge today.

What do you really need to give up in the MATERIAL world to become frum?

Not much. (The sacrifice today tends to pertain more to the nefesh than the physical.)

We have a "kosher" version of almost everything. Okay, sometimes the kosher version isn't as good as the original, but even the poorer imitations are still good enough.

Even the catchy song that took Israel by storm, Shevet Achim V'Achayot, got recorded immediately after the original release by 2 frum guys, who also changed one of the lyrics "from the parties of Tel Aviv" to "the sunsets (shkiyot) of Tel Aviv."

(Initially, I thought it was "the nonsense/shtuyot of Tel Aviv" until I was corrected.)

So you can even enjoy a hit song cleansed from kol ishah and unwholesome references.

That's just one example.

So that's what we need to focus on during Rosh Hashanah:

Give us good stuff, Hashem, so that we can serve you better; so that we can serve You in real joy with a peaceful & happy heart!

Beautiful flowers of Eretz Yisrael

0 Comments

Voting on Election Day - What Do the Big Rabbis Say?

17/9/2019

4 Comments

Like for a lot of Jews in Eretz Yisrael, the deplorable forced exile of the Jews from Gush Katif was a game-changer.

I became disillusioned by both charedi parties, yet the other religious parties didn't really do it for me either.

Eli Yishai's short-lived Yachad party (with the backing of Rav Mazuz) brought renewed hope...and renewed disappointment when it didn't cross the threshold (and seemed manipulated not to cross the threshold).

And the more I read about Eretz Yisrael's real behind-the-scenes modern history, the more I realize how important it is to listen to the real talmidei chachamim about voting and other issues.

Their vision is incredibly far-reaching, and history has shown that despite how things look at the present and despite problems within the frum community, the real talmidei chachamim truly are able to differentiate between the lesser of the two evils.

So as far as major rabbis go regarding today's Israeli elections, the breakdown is like this:

All Ashkenazi charedi rabbinical leaders have called to vote for Gimmel (Agudas Yisrael). (And maybe there are other Sephardi rabbanim who also vote Gimmel of whom I'm not aware.)

The vast majority of Sephardi charedi rabbinical leaders have called to vote for Shas.

Interestingly, Lubavitcher rabbinical leaders historically divide themselves between voting for Gimmel and voting for something like Otzma Yehudit — yet this election sees them taking a new and uncompromising stand:

"The stalemate between the Right bloc and the Left bloc and Lieberman does not allow anyone to take a gamble on the fate of Eretz Yisrael, Torat Yisrael, and Am Yisrael."

The Rabbinical Beis Din of Chabad proclaimed: "One should not vote for a candidate over which there is a doubt as to whether it will pass the threshold...Don't lose any vote, don't vote for Otzma Yehudit or Noam." (Noam suddenly dropped out anyway.)

Apparently, the late Lubavitcher Rebbe's concern was not to throw away votes by voting for chancy candidates and to vote for the most charedi party. (Source)

Then there is the Eideh Hacharedis which consists of talmidei chachamim calling on people NOT to vote at all, and not to participate in this anti-Torah government at all. (Source)

(This all shines light on the long-standing split among charedi groups, who agree that the government is corrupt, but then diverge on how to deal with it.)

So where does that leave me?

And the Winner is...

Based on my research (including, surprisingly enough, reading material by authors who certainly do NOT hold with the Eideh Hacharedis views), I'm most emotionally pulled toward NOT voting and NOT participating in this government.

That is my emotional response at this stage of my life.

However, we follow the mainstream charedi rabbis, especially the Sephardi ones (because my husband is wholly Sephardi).

So...

To make a good example to my children who attend Sephardi yeshivot and benefit from programs funded by Shas, I have reluctantly voted Shas.

But the big push by rabbis I respect for Gimmel has been niggling at me. Rabbis I really respect are pushing very hard for Gimmel.

Particularly the venerable Rav Kanievsky has come out with some very strong statements, such as telling people with voting rights who are planning to visit Eretz Yisrael anyway, and could come for either Sukkot or the elections...to come to vote in the elections.

People asked whether they should attend a brit milah first or vote first...and Rav Kanievsky said to vote first — as early as possible on election day.

Furthermore, Rav Kanievsky has made some very desirable and powerful promises of blessing for those who vote Gimmel today.

To be fair, Rav Abuchatzeirah also made some nice promises for sweetened din for those who vote Shas.

But so much of what I've been coming across really makes a big push for Gimmel — even though I DON'T put my faith in politicians.

Then last night, my husband was reading a charedi newspaper and came across Rav Kanievsky's promises of blessed middah k'neged middah (measure for measure) for whoever votes Gimmel.

"What do you say about voting Gimmel?" he asked me suddenly.

I turned to him and poured out my heart about that I really feel that daat Torah is overwhelmingly saying to vote Gimmel.

It's different this time around. There's a stronger push this year — and it's coming from the top rabbanim.

So based on Rav Kanievsky's promise of bracha, my husband decided we should vote Gimmel.

I was so relieved!

My husband and I have actually voted for different parties before, but in order to vote differently than the kids (who see not voting Shas as a lack of hakarat hatov and not listening to their Gadolei Hador), I needed my husband's support.

(My kids don't decide my life for me, but voting can also be an issue of chinuch and setting an example, which could be misinterpreted by them, depending.)

So we voted Gimmel this morning.

May we VERY SOON merit Mashiach as our leader — and may he come in a sweet way.

4 Comments

What I Finally Learned on My Youngest Son's First Day of School

17/9/2019

0 Comments

When I took my son to his first of day school this year, we were caught up in the rush of hundreds of other parents out on the same mission.

And ditto when I came to pick him up and take him home.

Although his first year (which was last year) at this school (where all his brothers also attended) went wonderfully, this time was different. The beginning of this school year was another step that filled me with new nerves.

Last year, the school's gan happened to be in its own building with its own yard, far away from the super-complex of the school, which hosts all the other grades, up to eighth grade.

This year, my son learns in the multi-level building itself.

Of course, there are safety precautions. The 4-6-year-olds sit in classrooms in their own hallway, and there is an assistant in addition to the teacher. They enjoy recess at a separate time, only going out when the older children are back in class and the yard is empty.

I'm also happy that my son's class merited to have the best teacher for that grade, and after seeing for myself what an ideal teacher he is, I'm even happier.

But I'm still ruminating over the what-ifs and concerns.

It was sitting on the bus stop on the way to pick him up from his first day of school that I woke up to the ruach around me.

Other mothers were picking up their children after sending them to cheder for the first time. They were all so excited.

The same kind of call kept ringing out: "Who is your son learning by this year? Oh, Rabbi Rubenstein? That's wonderful!"

There was a cheerful bustle to it all — at the bus stop, on the bus, weaving my way through the throngs of parents and children — that I couldn't quite place.

At first, I thought these mothers were expressing joyous relief that summer vacation was finally over.

But that wasn't it.

When parents express joy and thankfulness that their child has gotten married, it's not because "Oh, we finally got this kid out of the house! Less mess and more room!"

Not at all.

It's a joy and thankfulness of sending them off to really live their life now, to get down to the nitty-gritty of a Torah journey. It's relief at seeing their child finally find their zivug.

And that's when I realized what this cheerful bustle was: These mothers were rejoicing at sending their sons to learn Torah.

This first day in cheder was the first step in their journey to become ehrliche Yidden and fulfill their destinies as bnei Yaakov Avinu.

I don't know why this never hit me before.

After all, this certainly isn't my first child.

How many first days of school have I experienced without ever really seeing the celebration going on around me?

Maybe I was too caught up in all the hectic details and anxieties to notice.

But this new awareness also re-awakened my appreciation for Yerushalmi mothers, who for all their savvy intelligence, still possess a certain temimut in certain areas because they simply don't know to feel any other way.

And bringing their sons to cheder for the first time is one of those areas.

Baruch Hashem, I was able to be affected now by the general ruach.

Yes, I know things aren't going to be perfect and that school always provides challenges for both parents and children.

But I thought that maybe I could just enjoy the bare-bones fact of it: My son had learned Alef-Bet last year and was going to be learning to read Hebrew this year.

And that's the base for a life of Torah-learning.

And he'll be learning all sorts of halachot and stories from the Torah and Midrash — all geared for his age and level of understanding, and all necessary to nourish his neshamah and form the man he'll eventually become, and hopefully create a wonderful Olam Haba for himself, he should live in good health until 120 (and I also wish that also for you and your children).

So I decided to focus on this idea too and let myself get briefly immersed in all the joyous bustle around me. I also decided, despite the distractions & challenges that are sure to pop up along the way, to try my best to carry it with me throughout the rest of his school years.

Because at the core, that's really what it's all about.

Photo by William Ray from FreeImages

0 Comments

<<Previous

A Glimpse into What It will be Like When Mashiach First Comes

Gather Us TOGETHER from the 4 Corners of the Earth

What is the Secret of Our Coming Together?

Don't Be a Stranger

Like Your Jewish Self by Learning More about Judaism

Greatness of Soul Supersedes Even the Greatness of Intellect

"Your Rewards in the Next World Depend on Your Loyalty to Klal Yisroel."

You No Longer Need to See Photoshopped Females Used to Sell Stuff

Mehadrin Seating Scenarios

A Shabbat That's Truly Shalom

Spreading Torah & Chessed

The Continuing Baby Boom & Its Wonderful Impact

Better Access to Health Needs & Cheaper Kosher Supermarkets

Job Creation with Charedim

The Ability to Unify & Organize

Who Does Everyone Love to Hate, But Reluctant to Mess with Too Much?

Hashem is the Only Real "Safe Space"

Our Best Response to Increasing Acts of Jew-Hatred

The Avodah of the Heart

It's Also Okay If Your Yetzer Hara is Stopped By Mere Inconvenience, And Not By Holier Reasons

The Less Poison, The Better!

What Should You Do When Those Old Longings Hit?

Beware the Snooty Yetzer Hara!

Yaaay...US!

"The Bnei Yisroel, despite all the criticism, actually because of all the criticism, will remain His people and His servants till the End of Days. And that is so important to understand."-Rav Avigdor Miller

Unconscious Propaganda-Indoctrinated Hypocrisy

Where is All That Religious Coercion I Keep Hearing About?

Are You Searching for the Key to Self-Love & Self-Esteem? Introducing the REAL Pure Torah-Style Expression of Self-Love & Self-Esteem...

"A whole nation of people, all types of people, sacrificing and laboring for their ideals, for Torah ideals. And they are a people that are loyal to Hashem. There’s nothing better than the frum community, make no mistake about it."​- Rav Avigdor Miller

What is an Even Bigger Threat than the & Canaanite Nations?

What is the Big Danger of Material Abundance?

The Callow Kasha

When "Kosher" Mediocrity isn't Enough

A List of Meaningful Activities

What is a Cheit?

More Than Just Frum: How to be a Real Success

Live So You'll Have No Regrets in the Next World

Happily Ever After? Living Without Gets You There.

Eretz Yisrael: The Pipeline to Olam Haba, Not Olam Hazeh

"The Most Perfect Land!"

What is the Whole Point of Luxury?

The Parable of the Office Water Cooler

What Makes You Get Fat Can Also Make You Kick If You Don't Watch Your Use of All the God-Given Bounty

How to REALLY Drink that Fine "Wine"

Hashem Never Lets a Good Deed Go Unrewarded. NEVER.

The Massive Challenge in Our Times: Avoid Slurping Up All Your Merits!

​Give us good stuff, Hashem, so that we can serve you better; so that we can serve You in real joy with a peaceful & happy heart!

And the Winner is...

Myrtle Rising

Categories

Jewish Blogs

Jewish Current Events

Jewish Health

Archives

Copyright Notice

"The Bnei Yisroel, despite all the criticism, actually because of all the criticism, will remain His people and His servants till the End of Days. And that is so important to understand."

-Rav Avigdor Miller

"A whole nation of people, all types of people, sacrificing and laboring for their ideals, for Torah ideals. And they are a people that are loyal to Hashem. There’s nothing better than the frum community, make no mistake about it."

- Rav Avigdor Miller

Give us good stuff, Hashem, so that we can serve you better; so that we can serve You in real joy with a peaceful & happy heart!