Category: Erev Rav

Keeping Our Heads Straight by Getting the Facts Straight

1/3/2022

Just wanted to say some words about the Prime Minister of the Ukraine & what's going on...

(As usual in our times, well-meaning people get excited about the wrong things, and getting the facts straight straightens out our hashkafot too).

First of all:

The guy lacks any meaningful connection with Judaism.

He's not interested.

Yes, he himself blames that on his Communist-influenced secular upbringing.

But free choice exists.

So many Russian Jews with his same upbringing (or even worse!) made the choice to learn more & commit more to their Jewish soul-needs.

In fact, I personally know Ukrainian Jews who became frum.

(One Ukrainian Jewish woman credited the Ukrainian summer camps run by Karliner chassidim for her decision to become frum. Did you know Karlin chassidus was active in Soviet kiruv? I did not. Like most everyone else, I thought only Chabad was doing everything there. But it's nice to know about the Karliners too. Yashar koach to them & their fantastic summer camps for Ukrainian Jewish children!)

In other words, the options existed and Zelensky never took advantage.

Which brings us to our next issue...

The guy is married to a non-Jew.

There are other rumors about the extent of his meshumadness, but I couldn't find verifiable information except about his wife not being Jewish.

Many Jews today, including frum Jews, hold an open mind regarding intermarried Jews. It's so common and so understandable (heck, I'd have married a non-Jew myself had I not turned to Torah)...so nobody wants to condemn an intermarried Jew.

And certainly, we should not be mean to people or insult them over transgressions, especially people who've no inkling of the magnitude of sin they've unwittingly committed.

Warmth, encouragement, patience, education...this is the way to deal with most Jewish transgressors (whether they're frum or not).

On the other hand, the sin of intermarriage is particularly horrible and damaging, whether the intermarried Jew perceives it or not.

And personal observation proves that an intermarried Jew RARELY divorces the non-Jewish spouse to do teshuvah.

In a tiny minority of cases, the non-Jewish spouse converts, but only the truly special ones perform a sincere conversion.

You see by their refusal to conform to even the basic halacha after the conversion, that these conversions deriving from convenience or pressure lack sincerity (including those performed by the type of Orthodox rabbi who, wittingly or unwittingly, is lax himself in holding up the non-Jewish spouse to the correct standards).

In the vast majority of cases, intermarried Jews really are lost to the Jewish people.

You don't always see that right away, but especially with the men and their non-Jewish children...it's all over.

It's one of the big tragedies of our times.

And this is exactly the case with Zelensky.

According to Rav Avigdor Miller, both his lack of shemirat Shabbat and his non-Jewish spouse prevent him from being considered our brother (according to the Gemara, which states "a brother in mitzvot").

A Jewish Prime Minister of the Ukraine is One of the Worst Possibilities for Jews

Apparently, the Chief Rabbi of Dnipier in the Ukraine expressed fear that the election of a Jewish Prime Minister would result in terrible Jew-hatred once Zelensky's popularity dropped (as often happens with politicians).

Even a perceived mistake or plan-gone-wrong could ignite the embers of Ukrainian Jew-hatred—that was my fear too ever since I heard about his election.

Furthermore, it could also ignite Jew-hatred on the Russian side.

However things play out, Jew-hatred can fan out on one side or the other (God forbid!) simply because one of the main players is a Jew.

Basically, it's a no-win situation as far as Jew-hatred goes and I'm upset Zelensky insisted on going for the position of Prime Minister in the first place.

And I find it bizarre that anyone is taking sides because Russia and the Ukraine are mostly just two sides of the same coin.

Does it really matter whether corrupt Ukrainian officials or corrupt Russian officials are running the Ukraine?

And while Ukrainians have generally been pretty cool about religious Jewish & Israeli tourism, that's no indication of how they really feel because, hey, money talks! They're making tons off of Jewish & Israeli tourism.

Jewish blood soaks the pages of both Ukrainian and Russian history.

Having a Jewish Prime Minister in this battle is probably going to turn out very, very badly (Hashem yerachem).

Can We Please Stop Pretending that Non-Jews are Jews with Regard to Soviet Immigration? When Will This Willful Ignorance Finally Stop?

While I very much daven for all the authentic Jews to come and settle safely in Eretz Yisrael, all these numbers proclaimed as representing Ukrainian Jewry are false.

A percentage are not Jewish at all. What percentage? N̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶e̶.

(Update: Only 25%. See here: https://hamodia.com/2022/02/14/israel-has-secret-plan-to-rescue-ukrainian-jews-in-event-of-invasion/—H/T Yaak.)

There are so many non-Jewish spouses and non-Jewish children in the Ukraine. The Jerusalem Pest once did an article on Ukrainian Jews wanting to immigrate and for some reason, the Pest interviewed the non-Jewish wife of a Jew for her thoughts. She said she very much wanted to come to Eretz Yisrael with her non-Jewish children and, oddly, she gave the impression that she deserved to—like it's her right and Israel owes her & her children or something.

And people like her will come and grant more power to Lieberman and his minions.

They will damage & fragment Israeli society even more—not because they're bad people (although some certainly are), but they will simply wish to live their secular or Christian gentile lives in this country without respect or consideration of Jewish Law.

But I'm definitely very concerned about the actual Jews in the Ukraine, especially the elderly Holocaust survivors and the children. I know the Holocaust survivors are especially terrorized by what's going on right now...and that hurts.

Erev Rav Attitude

As stated above, Zelensky's decisions prevent him from being considered & treated like a brother by his fellow Jews.

And it's hard to believe he doesn't realize the potential fallout his rule could eventually have on his fellow Jews in the Ukraine. Or in Russia, depending on how the tide turns.

I think he doesn't care about the consequences. Or maybe it's a form of overconfidence, like "That won't happen to ME!".

Another aspect that misleads Jews regarding Zelensky is his seeming pro-Israel stance, his visit to the Kotel, and his telephone call to the rabbi of Kiev to pray for them.

First of all, like a lot of other mumar Jews, he likes the SECULAR aspects of Medinat Yisrael and he likes knowing the Medinah is there for him as a glorified bug-out location.

Secondly, a classic aspect of Erev Rav is using Jewish ritual as a lucky charm.

This post explains the idea in detail:
Why the Erev Rav CAN'T Change Themselves
http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/the-kli-yakar-parshat-masei:

But the Erev Rav, whose source derives from Egypt, didn’t go out according to the word of Hashem, but according the opinion of Moshe.

See that? From the get-go, the Erev Rav were dependent on a person.

They ignored Hashem and Hashem's Power (and also the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu could not bring them without Hashem allowing it!).

But they never really wanted to join Am Yisrael.

They were always looking back, yearning for their impure origins:

And it’s said about the Erev Rav: “And these are their journeys to their origins”--because they always had a desire and a will to return to Egypt, to their source.

Or this from the Kli Yakar on Parshat Ki Tisa (Shemot 32:1):

The Erev Rav feared that if Moshe won't come, then Hashem will command them to be driven out from the community...

Therefore, they thought up a scheme to request another leader in place of Moshe..."We did not know what he had, for surely he had the image of some star, and he was a leader and performed miracles with its power."

[The Erev Rav speaking to Aharon HaKohen]: "And you, his brother, know without a doubt what that item was. Therefore, we want that you shall make for us some image that will be an intermediary between us and between the stars..."

The Kli Yakar also quotes Sanhedrin 63a:
"They lusted after many gods."

So you can see how confused and contradictory they are while being incredibly smug & confident at the same time.

In a nutshell, they don't disregard the power of Judaism or the existence of God.

They simply do not consider it the only gig in town.

As the Kli Yakar explains, they considered Elokai Yisrael the biggest bully on the block and ran after Moshe Rabbeinu...while looking back toward Egypt the entire time.

Following the biggest bully on the block (in their eyes).

Seeking the most effective "lucky charm." (Initially, they were convinced Moshe Rabbeinu used some kind of star image to accomplish all the miracles; they could not conceive such powerful miracles from holiness and, well...GOD.)

Shifting loyalties.

No real grasp of Who is in charge.

No ability to cultivate an emunah attitude.

They relate to Judaism that way because that is how they honestly perceive even the deepest & most powerful aspects of Torah Judaism: shallow, superficial, a kinda cool yet fake "show," full of more-effective-than-usual lucky charms & superstitions...

I saw this in real-time with a BT psychopath.

I could never understand why the person became frum until I saw that:

(1) This person was not frum on the inside at all. This person did a lot of forbidden stuff with no feelings of contradiction. It's not hard to go through the motions externally when people are looking. (Or to lie to people when spotted.)

(2) Despite lots of lashon hara (and some bad experiences) to the contrary, most frum people are nicer, more readily give you the benefit of the doubt, are more generous, and more forgiving than any other group. Psychopaths can find that pretty comfortable as long as they're willing to wear a frum disguise themselves.

(3) This person believed in Judaism in a superstitious-lucky-charm manner. Tehillim, for example, was more of a lucky charm rather than a way to connect with Hashem or elevate oneself. But when it didn't "work," the person dropped it completely.

It really came to fore when this person experienced a difficulty and responded by calling all friends & acquaintances to insist they forgive this person if they ever imagined this person had wronged them.

Yes. "Imagined."

And this person attributed the difficulty to people holding grudges (for no good reason, of course), which is why this person insisted people offer their forgiveness.

Just like that.

It was so incredibly superficial and superstitious—not at all like how spiritual physics really work.

One person tried to call the psychopath's bluff by saying "What's this 'if' stuff? You KNOW you hurt people."

But the psychopath responded by explaining the yetzer hara is playing tricks and causing one to "imagine" the psychopath had ever done anything wrong.

(This came after this psychopath had knowingly caused widespread financial and emotional damage to many people over the course of several years. "Imagined," eh?)

And then the psychopath continued to pressure the person to "forgive."

I found it bizarre.

I found it bizarre until I realized the psychopath had no concept of these fundamental Jewish concepts & merely viewed Judaism as a "lucky" rabbit's foot.

It's like how squabbling frum children will say, "If you won't be my friend, then you have an aveira! All I need to do is tell you slicha three times, and then the aveira's on you! Slicha, slicha, slicha—still don't forgive me? Aveira's on you! So there!"

Obviously, each request for forgiveness must be sincere and, when necessary, accompanied by appeasement. And the 3 times should be spread out to allow the hurt person time to heal.

But the psychopath simply craved a quick end to the difficulty.

So when the rabbi said to seek out and make amends with people who may have been hurt, the psychopath/Erev Rav could not do so in a real way, but only in the way an immature, petty, ignorant child would.

So an assimilated mumar Jew calling a rabbi for prayers or visiting the Kotel does NOT automatically mean he feels any connection to Judaism or even respects Judaism.

Sure, it COULD mean that. It could be a pinteleh Yid.

But it doesn't HAVE to mean that.

And here, I really don't see any indication that it does mean anything more than that.

Final Points

To sum up:

I think there is a very disturbing situation going on between Russia and Ukraine—and I think the potential for some very bad fallout is very real.

I think we need to keep our minds clear and focus on our real values (rather than getting caught up in various narratives—including those by some frum websites and articles).

If you're Jewish, Russia is not your buddy.

If you're Jewish, the Ukraine is not your buddy.

We need to focus on helping REAL Jews.

We need to focus on our own personal unique self-improvement.

We need to daven.

To donate to help Ukrainian Jews:
Ukraine Relief Fund - Agudath Israel of America
https://agudah.org/ukraine-relief-fund/

Please say Tehillim 130, 142 and 121.
https://hamodia.com/2022/02/28/moetzes-gedolei-hatorah-releases-kol-korei-on-the-situation-in-ukraine/

Please read this article:
https://aish.com/zhidovka-a-jew-in-ukraine/

Please watch this 10-minute talk by Rabbi Daniel Travis:
Rav Moshe Sternbuch Speaks on The Russian Invasion
www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=178998

Follow-Up Post:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/why-are-people-especially-jews-taking-sides

Why You Need to Acknowledge the Sincerity behind Personality Disorders & the Erev Rav

6/2/2022

Because of the short-cut language we use when speaking about consistently dysfunctional people, whether we identify them as personality disordered or Erev Rav, the terminology implies an awareness on their part, which doesn't usually exist (or doesn't exist to that extreme).

Psychopaths generally mean to do what they do.

But most other people don't.

For example, a narcissist doesn't think, "Oh-ho, I will now engage in my beloved activity of triangulation!"

No, they simply feel victimized in some way, and naturally turn to others in a way that plays one person against the other.

They seek to feel supported & protected.

The fact that an innocent person gets badly hurt along the way doesn't register with them.

After all, the narcissist considers himself the victim and, in the narcissist mind, the person getting hurt either deserves it (if the narcissist feels victimized by that person) or is simply an unavoidable casualty (which again, is not the narcissist's fault in the narcissistic mind because he views it as an unavoidable casualty—and "Hey, what did you expect, that I would sacrifice myself to avoid harming such an insignificant person? Anyway, if you really cared about me, you wouldn't mind sacrificing in yourself for me.").

I used the example of a narcissist, but it applies to any personality disorder.

Same thing when a personality-disordered person slanders another.

Again, they felt victimized in some way.

They believe they are simply protecting themselves, perhaps even protecting others by warning them, or they justify their slander as emanating from irrepressible pain that must find a release.

If they genuinely mean to take you down via slander, it still emanates from the perception of themselves as victim and you as persecutor. So once again, they believe you deserve it; they see it as the best & most effective way to defend themselves.

They believe their slander to be true...or close enough to the truth to be true ("That's how I feel"), or they believe the lies & exaggerations popping out of their mouth because those justifications sound & feel so good...so they must be true, right?

Or, even if they know they twisted the truth, they feel it advances an important agenda, so the ends justifies the means...and that's also a kind of "truth" (to the disordered mind).

Those are just a couple of examples.

And the above is why a PD (personality disorder) can be so shocked, hurt, outraged, and vengeful when confronted with the truth of their motivations, beliefs, and actions—and also how badly they've hurt others, plus the destruction that results from their behaviors.

Most experts addressing personality disorders speak as if the PD knows and plots every step of their behavior.

(I speak/write like this too sometimes. It's a short-cut to describe the behaviors. But really, I think it's a bit misleading, so I'm trying to be more careful. On the other hand, some people really do believe PDs are wholly aware of every step they take. But that's not true.)

For example, they say:
"This narcissist can't handle being wrong, so she engages in twisty arguments to manipulate the discussion."

But the narcissist probably thinks she's right!

And she doesn't consider her arguments twisty nor does she consider her methods manipulative; she thinks she's being clever and self-protective. She believes what she's saying and genuinely thinks YOU are being mean.

Having said that, sometimes they do knowingly engage in hurtful argumentative tactics. And again, they do that because they think YOU deserve it.

They consider you pathetic, bad, or stupid and feel justified in playing mind games during a discussion.

They consider themselves cute, clever, or funny.

So if you get angry or hurt, they consider you oversensitive. (Or manipulative.)

Why?

Because you were the whole problem in the first place! Why are you bothering them by being pathetic, bad or stupid?

YOU are pathetic, bad, or stupid. THEY are cute, clever, funny...and the real victim here.

So why are YOU getting upset?

You have no right!

That's how they honestly see things.

And as long as you don't realize how sincere they are in their disordered thinking, it's hard to deal with them and also to identify them. You can also be used by them to hurt others when they rope you into "helping" them in their pain (which feels very real to them).

So to sum up:

The knowingly evil Voldemorts tend to be psychopaths.

The other dysfunctional people tend to be sincere in their disordered, dysfunctional, unhealthy way of thinking.

And the same is also true for the Erev Rav.

Erev Rav Sincerity

Note: All quotes from Rav Itamar Schwartz are from here:
https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Erev.Rav.Talks.pdf

Since their inception, the Erev Rav lacked a conscious intent to destroy Am Yisrael.

They simply wanted the best of both worlds.

And THAT leads to destruction because, at their intrinsic root, the holy world and the profane world remain at odds with each other.

(The group with the conscious intent to destroy Am Yisrael both physically and at its soul-root is Amalek. And yes, Amalekite Erev Rav exist.)

To oversimplify, the Erev Rav followed Am Yisrael out of Egypt because they viewed Hashem as the biggest bully on the block, and they felt more secure aligning themselves with the most powerful entity.

Yet they were always looking back to see whether maybe the Egyptians would be the winners.

And despite all the palpable pure spirituality around, they constantly longed for their impure spirituality and materialism.

All the damage they committed (like the Golden Calf) resulted from a desire to protect their own interests.

They genuinely felt fear or anxiety or distress. Their motivation wasn't manipulation; that's how they honestly felt.

In other words, they believed in what they were doing.

And real Jews got swept up with them...because of the Erev Rav sincerity.

And it happens nowadays too.

Here's Rav Itamar Schwartz (page 40):

In fact, those people [who are pushing for the draft] might not even be aware that the ‘Sitra Achara’ is controlling them, and they might even be earnest in their intentions.

Some of them actually are earnest, and they aren’t trying to be wicked.

They simply don’t understand what they are doing to us.

But this is only concerning a certain amount of them.

The rest of them simply have wicked intentions.

And even those in the government who have earnest intentions to help us are accomplishing the same purpose as the totally wicked members, in spite of the fact that they don’t realize what they are doing: they are coming to uproot all of the Torah!!

And why are they trying to uproot the Torah?

Because they honestly view it as holding themselves and others back.

But WHY do they feel that way?

The Torah contains such amazing inspiration, guidance, and is the only way for a human being to achieve truly great heights of holiness & morality.

Why is the Erev Rav view SO distorted?

Erev Rav Lack the Ability to Understand. Understand This Well!

Here's the answer on page 35:

They do not understand, and they can never understand, what Torah is.

They cannot understand what mitzvos are.

They cannot understand the nature of the true bond that is between the Jewish people and Hashem.

This is why, by the way, the charedi rabbanim responded with such uncompromising opposition to the Erev Rav when they first invented & utilized the Zionist movement.

To regular Jews, the rabbanim DID explain their positions.

But when dealing with the secular Leftist anti-Torah Communist Erev Rav leaders, the rabbanim went just BAM! Full-speed opposition ahead.

Even nowadays, you can see there's no talking to them or explaining to them why this-and-such is important.

They CANNOT understand. It's simply impossible.

And that's sincere on their part!

They have NO ability to comprehend or relate to:

the essence of Torah
the essence of mitzvot
the bond between Hashem and Am Yisrael

The potential simply is NOT there.

Here's an analogy:

Try and describe countries and their political systems to a toddler.

He can't see it!

What's a country? What's a political party? What's a budget? What's debt?

Yet would you allow the one-year-old to make policies?

If the toddler is screaming for his toy and his lollipop, would you say, "If you stop screaming, I'll let you decide the boundary of France! And you can also decide the fiscal policy for the coming year! Wouldn't you like that, shaifeleh?"

Or would you just ignore the screaming toddler (maybe just stick a lollipop in his mouth) and continue running the country to the best of your ability?

The Erev Rav Leaders of Today

Here's more explanation from Rav Itamar Schwartz (page 34):

The Vilna Gaon writes that in the final generations, the Erev Rav are the “heads of the Jewish people, who are the ‘leaders’, and they have control over the “sons of Leah and Rachel.”

They are also called ‘sapachas’ by Chazal – a kind of leprosy that forms over the skin, embedded into the skin and atop it, but not a part of it.

They came with us when we left Egypt and added themselves onto our nation, but they are not a part of our nation; thus they are called a sapachas\leprosy - a layer added onto the skin, which is not an actual part of the skin.

In the later generations, and especially in our current generation, the Erev Rav are wicked souls who lead the Jewish people towards evil.

Their agenda is to lead the Jewish people astray from Torah, from all holiness, from emunah, and from mitzvos.

It doesn’t matter if he [a member of Erev Rav] wears a kippah or if he doesn’t have a kippah; whether he has a beard or whether he doesn’t have a beard.

This is the exile we are in.

The exile we are currently in is the exile of the Erev Rav - who exercise ‘control’ over the Jewish people.

The ‘heads of the Erev Rav’ are the souls of Amalek; Chazal say that the Erev Rav is made up of five kinds of people, and at the head of all of them is Amalek.

This has been true about our current exile ever since it has begun, but it has particular relevance to today’s times.

We must understand the situation that we are found in.

The exile we are in today is being headed by people who look like Jews - and they look like they are a part of the Jewish people.

So we see from here the actual main leaders of the Erev Rav are the Amalek Erev Rav who actively plot to destroy the Torah and Am Yisrael.

But the other types of Erev Rav (Nefilim, Gibburim, Refaim, Anakim) cause extreme damage because they can NEVER relate to Torah or the relationship between Hashem & His People.

It doesn't mean anything to them; they cannot wrap their head around it.

They have their own agendas & it genuinely bothers them when the Torah interferes.

So what do WE do?

Focus on 2 Aspects

We need to do 2 things:

Sur m'ra—Turn from evil
Aseh tov—Do good.

Learing halacha and mussar help so much with turning from evil and doing good.

How else can you know what is good or bad unless you learn it?

Learning the halachot of how to treat people (giving the benefit of the doubt, acting with compassion, guarding one's tongue, etc.) provide you with the tools to avoid acting like a dysfunctional person.

Learning halacha and mussar also helps you to differentiate between the truly dysfunctional people and others who are basically good but flawed and struggling, so you know who to avoid and who to embrace.

Also, there is no need to water down Torah truths.

Darchei noam—ways of pleasantness?

Yes! By all means!

Be pleasant! Try to avoid fights with others! Focus on the Torah's beauty!

But please also realize that if you're dealing with an Erev Rav, he or she CANNOT see the beauty no matter how much you point it out or water it down.

So there's no point.

They're utterly sincere in their attitudes, beliefs, and agendas.

And that sincerity often knocks real Jews off balance.

That's why it's important to know their sincerity makes them neither redeemable nor changeable...and not convincible either.

And so...

Just YOU be strong within yourself.

Part of doing good is davening.

Davening for Erev Rav to do teshuvah (from the Komarna Rebbe) elevates the sparks, getting rid of the Erev Rav.

Davening protects you & others. Davening also enhances the growth of you & others.

Connect to Hashem in a deep & meaningful way for even only 1 minute a day...

May Hashem please bring the Geula swiftly with rachamim.

For more insights into the the workings of the Erev Rav mind & soul, plus the Amalekite influence:

English translation from https://www.sefaria.org.il/Sanhedrin.97a?lang=bi

Link to a Short Class on What the Zohar Says about Scandals before Mashiach

17/1/2022

With both global events & events within our communities (plus very personal events), we probably all feel the rope of emunah shaking very hard by now.

(Unfamiliar with the "shaking rope of emunah"? Then please click here: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/recognizing-the-spastic-rope-of-emunah.)

It's amazing how in just under 4 minutes, Rabbi Daniel Travis explains what's going on here:
Thanking Hashem When Things Look Bad #1063-Exposing Scandals Before Moshiach Pt1
www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=175717

Basically, the Zohar predicts how before Mashiach, the Erev Rav will make the Torah SEEM putrid.

It's not, of course.

The Torah is the clearest, purest, most beautiful part of the Universe.

But the Erev Rav will behave in a way that repels the world AWAY from the Torah.

It's sort of like throwing sewage all over the Hope diamond. You might think the large lump in the middle of the sewage is a particularly large and nasty chunk of manure.

But no...it's the Hope diamond.

No matter how much sewage anyone dumps on it, it remains just as prized & valuable as ever.

Sewage cannot do more than cover the Hope diamond. Sewage cannot actually harm or change the Hope diamond in any way.

Don't let yourself get confused by the vast amounts of revolting sewage dumped all over by the Erev Rav!

Don't be fooled! It's all a cover-up. A particularly flabbergasting and repulsive cover-up to be sure, but only a cover-up nonetheless.

The real diamond is still there...just as precious, unique, and unchanged as ever.

The Ultimate Way to Do Teshuvah & Wipe Out Amalek

18/8/2021

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I subscribe to Nechumelle Jacobs's email list of inspiring messages, and she forwarded an illuminating dvar Torah by Rabbi Yechiel Spero from the Inspirational Daily subscription.

Why does Hashem command us so strongly to remember what Amalek did for us?

And how do we overcome Amalek? How do we carry out Hashem's parallel command to wipe out the memory of Amalek?

What's the Deal with Amalek?

Rabbi Spero quotes Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto, explaining how Amalek wants us to forget the following:

everything Hashem did for us
how special we are
that we are Hashem's Chosen
that Hashem loves us so much

(Come to think of it, this also makes sense in terms of the Amalekite Erev Rav, where you have seeming Jews investing everything in making us forget how much Hashem loves us, how special we are with a unique mission in the world no one else can fulfill, and rallying us to fulfill non-Jewish missions in the world rather than our soul-mission, etc.)

Anyway, Rabbi Spero explains how we can combat this by investing in the following:

Remember how special we are as a Nation.
Remember how special you are as a unique soul.
Remember how much Hashem loves you.
Look for the good in yourself & others.

He emphasizes how the teshuvah of Elul means NOT making yourself feel worthless & sinful.

On the contrary—feel WORTHY.

Feel hopeful & special as a Jew with a uniquely Jewish neshamah & a uniquely VITAL mission to fulfill in life.

Jews who behave as they should end up bringing the entire world to its rectification.

Where is the Media List of "The 10 Most Nurturing, Gentle, and Compassionate Frum Women"?

Due to the overwhelming propaganda swamping us from every side in every form, we sometimes lose sight of our real purpose in this world.

Most Jews today (including some frum Jews) believe our mission should be to fulfill the roles of non-Jews in a non-Jewish manner.

And our society lauds non-Jewish roles while denigrating quintessentially Jewish roles (like Torah-based marriage & parenthood or being a talmid chacham).

Especially for women...

How many times do you read about frum women doing amazing things—always stuff within the secular or non-Jewish community (or a frum imitation of them) in traditionally secular/non-Jewish masculine roles?

Why is a woman only considered really awesome when she fills a traditionally masculine role?

Why can't a woman heroically filling a traditional feminine role be considered really awesome too (as exemplified by the title of this section above)?

For example...

Do you ever read about a frum woman who, say, dealt with colicky twins for 3 months and did not lose her temper or her mind?

SHE should make the front page of the papers!

That's an incredible feat of middot.

I'm being totally serious.

Here's another example:

I have a friend (who was a stay-at-home mother at the time) with a genuinely helpful husband who is also "a real gem" in her own words.

He worked full time, but strove to dedicate time to serious Torah learning.

The problem was waking up very early to learn Torah wasn't working for him. (He also helped with the baby at night.)

Going out to the Beit Midrash in the late-night hours also proved less than ideal; he was too tired to learn properly.

Together, they realized the best time for him to learn Torah was in the evening hours—davka the time she needed him most.

Unlike some husbands, her husband was fantastic at managing the whole pre-bedtime & bedtime routine with the kids.

She didn't know how she could manage without his genuinely valuable help.

And this needed to be a daily commitment.

But as they discussed it, she realized that giving up her husband's help for those essential hours was the best way to fulfill her own Torah role.

So she did it.

He appealed to her, but did not pressure her. It really was her decision.

Yes, she went into it with trepidation & maybe some dread—but also with a gratifying sense of duty.

And it was hard—especially at the beginning (these things are always REALLY hard at the beginning!)—but she did it.

(This is a great example to both their sons & their daughters, by the way. It also brings a lot of bracha & Heavenly reward.)

In a nutshell: This is a huge mesirut nefesh for a normal person.

So why isn't she in the media as a "successful frum woman"?

How come HER story & her achievement aren't publicized?

Because she didn't do it while wearing chic suits & a sleek European-hair shaitel down to her forearms? Because she doesn't need a professional make-up artist to help carry out her task?

Because it didn't take any kind of degree or charisma to accomplish it?

Because that kind of accomplishment isn't valued by the secular non-Jewish world, so we cannot hold her up as a "successful frum woman"?

The truth is, we can't publicize all these unseen yet powerful victories.

But we also don't need to take so much to heart the publicized accomplishments based on non-Jewish values.

Saving the World at the Expense of the Child

I met a young Jewish woman who grew up in a secular-yet-traditional family.

Her mother occupied herself with world organizations meant to save children in Africa while neglecting her own daughter's needs.

(I think she was physically taken care of by hired help.)

Though usually a warm & upbeat person, she once expressed her pain by noting how her mother seemed to care more about the children halfway across the world in Africa than she did her own daughter right there in her own home.

Yet despite all her mother's efforts toward children in Africa since the 1970s—at the expense of her daughter—you probably noticed that much of Africa continues to be one big heartbreaking mess of human suffering & human rights violations.

Meaning—individual situations aside—you can't really tell there was some very intelligent & devoted Jewish lady sacrificing herself for decades to improve the lot of African children.

It's a terrible tragedy this Jewish woman did not channel her idealism, devotion, and energies into the Torah community in a Torah way.

Fortunately, Hashem blessed her daughter with tremendous compassion, idealism, warmth, and simchat chaim, and this daughter made her way to Torah-true Judaism, where she could utilize her wonderful gifts in the best way possible.

The Best Way to Do Teshuvah & Overcome Amalek

So the world makes everything confusing.

And the constant swimming against the current drains a lot of emotional & physical stamina.

(Which is why one should seek out a current going in the correct direction. It won't always flow in your particular direction because you need to build yourself by going against it at times—but at least you're not in constant opposition.)

But really, if a Jew truly cares about the world, desires world peace, true justice, genuine freedom, robust health & long lives for all...then that Jew will do his or her best to be the absolute best Jew he or she can be.

Why?

By Am Yisrael carrying out its tasks (especially b'simcha—one of the most powerful mitzvot), this rectifies the world.

Know you are worthy & special with a unique mission of your unique soul & also a National mission together with Am Yisrael.

That's the best way to do teshuvah.

That's the best way to defeat Amalek.

By conforming exactly to halacha—especially combined with feeling GOOD about being a Jew—a Jew sweetens din (Heaven-sent consequences), hastens Mashiach b'rachamim, and thus brings healing & rectification to the world.

This shiur by Rabbi Yechiel Spero can be listened to here:
https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/recorded_audio?audioRecordingUrl=https%3A%2F%2Frs0000.freeconferencecall.com%2Fstorage%2FsgetFCC2%2FR2yZa%2Fu%2FpfyAB3pmlZ6Tz8E9tvNEJQ.mp3

Or by calling in here:
Direct Dial: 605-475-3273, 875753968#,1567#
(Ref#: 1567)

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Parshat Behar-Bechukotai: Rav Avigdor Miller, Rav Itamar Schwartz, and Powerful Personal Stories

6/5/2021

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In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshas Behar-Bechukosai 4 - Tenants in This World, we learn the extent to which we are tenants in This World.

As Judaism emphasizes so strongly & so often, This World is merely a hallway leading to something much bigger and truer.

The Yovel (Jubilee) Year of ancient times kept Am Yisrael on its toes, even though they lived in their own Land within their rightful Tribal portion.

With homes & other acquisitions needing to be restored to their original state & possession, people still experienced movement & uprooting.

Later on & continuing until today, Galut (Exile) keeps us on our toes.

Even within Eretz Yisrael, we still experience Galut.

Missile strikes & policies of the Erev Rav government officials carried out by their lackeys ensure that we don't feel too settled in our homes.

We still need to turn to Hashem for any real stability.

With recent tragedies, for which the deeper reasons remain concealed, we see the Galut in that 3 yeshivah bachurs can be shot at random. Government policies enable this to happen.

The revolving door of Israeli justice for terrorists embolden terrorism.

We do not yet dwell securely within our own Land.

Likewise, regarding the Meron tragedy, Rav Itamar Schwartz noted (among other profundities):

Additionally, on the one hand, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai ascends to his high place above at his burial place, but at the same time, on the world down below, the “heads of the Erev Rav” take control of this place because of the 50th level of tumah which runs rampant today.

(https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Meron.Tragedy.Lag.B'Omer.5781.pdf)

Eyewitness accounts bear testimony to this point as we repeatedly hear how police did not intervene to prevent the dangerous crowding.

Yet people realized on their own.

Ten minutes before the horrific crush, two 22-year-old friends of my son, concerned by the increasingly oppressive crowding, turned to each other and said, "Let's get out of here before we die."

They deliberated which of the 2 exits to take and Hashem guided them to choose the exit which ended up NOT being the deathtrap.

So they made it out alive.

When many other good people on their own decided to relieve the crowding by leaving, the police responded in a way that first caused then exacerbated crushing & falling (with the exception of a couple of policemen who worked to save people).

Look at who took control of that holy place & those holy people.

And so, this is where we are now.

Galut.

Nothing is stable. Nothing is guaranteed.

This isn't our world.

This isn't the real world.

This is all temporary and merely a path on the journey to reach the real world.

Those killed in the crush came from all types of backgrounds.

Many looked like ordinary people.

Yet so many extraordinary stories of the niftarim have come to light.

One astounding verified story by Daniel Braude came from Daniel Braude's 1-Minute Daily Halocha:

A man who eventually survived the crush found a small passage of air that kept him alive as he remained trapped between those fallen beneath him and those fallen on top of him.

He desperately wanted to move up off those under him, but could not.

From beneath him, this survivor heard a man say Shema Yisrael in the manner of one who realizes he is living out his final moments.

After this Shema, this person's final words were to those unwillingly crushing him:

"Whoever is on top of me—I forgive you completely."

He never spoke again.

This was a person who understood the purpose of This World.

In his last moments, this suffering Jew thought to consider the terrible guilt experienced by his brothers on top of him, fellow Jews who so desperately wanted to save his life, but who themselves could not move at all.

His last breaths consisted of empathy & judging his fellow Jews favorably.

He understood where he was & where he was going.

And he understood Who the Real Master is.

May Mashiach please usher in the Geula quickly and with compassion.

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The Erev Rav Psyche

24/1/2021

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UPDATE: It was brought to my attention by a thoughtful reader that this post possibly gives the impression of singling out baalei teshuvah in a negative way. So I just wish to clarify that the lessons of the post apply to ALL Jews.

The Rabbi Winston post referenced within simply reminded me of this specific couple, who happen to be baalei teshuvah. Also, because the husband described within made the proactive decision to enter into frumkeit (when he could've continued his secular lifestyle, which would've been a lot more convenient for himself and his friends & family), it's all the more striking that not only did he refuse to fully embrace core Torah values, but after forcing himself & his family to unnecessary extremes, he abandoned everything.

After all, he faced no pressure to start up with frumkeit in the first place.

But it goes without saying that EVERY JEW must strive to internalize Torah values & that FFBs face similar challenges (either succeeding or failing as per each person's middot).

Reading Going Home...To Yerushalayim's re-post of Rabbi Winston's dvar Torah reminded me of a couple I once knew.

The initially secular husband found himself attracted to the kiruv he encountered. He then delved into frumkeit via a very knowledgeable & caring rav.

The secular Jewish woman he wished to marry at the beginning of his kiruv refused to follow him on this journey, so they broke up and he married someone else who loved him deeply & was fully willing to follow him on his journey into frumkeit—but with whom he never felt fully satisfied.

The woman he ended up marrying was a pretty girl with good middot & a nurturing personality. She came from a wealthy home with a tennis court & a swimming pool, and she only ever wanted to become a little bit more frum than she'd been raised, but she willingly followed him into ultra-Orthodoxy & a kollel life, which meant living in deprivation.

But though she embraced it all with a good attitude, he never managed to really appreciate her.

Over time, he forced his growing family into a very insulated frum community, including speaking Yiddish at home (which his wife never managed to learn well) and sending them to chassidic Yiddish schools (carefully avoiding telling the school that they weren't FFB—which is never a good sign; if you have to fool the school, you probably don't belong there).

Observing the appalling way he often spoke to & treated her felt very discomfiting. He seemed to resent her for no reason.

But except for the occasional times she reached her limit in patience, she usually accepted his poor behavior with equanimity & even an understanding smile—as was her nature.

Then the rav passed away & things started to really deteriorate.

The problem was that the husband's connection with the rav acted as the glue that held the husband to frumkeit.

Sure, all the learning also felt good; wonderful ideas exist in our holy books. But the main attraction for him was the rav.

In addition to growing up in a cold society, the husband always lacked a father figure in life too, and this wonderful rav provided warmth, love, and direction.

When the rav passed away, that source of warmth, love, and direction disappeared too.

The husband's treatment of his wife & children worsened and his grip of Yiddishkeit also deteriorated.

Via social media, he found the woman he originally wanted to marry (who was still secular and now married to an equally secular Jew) and he ended up spending tons of money (further depriving his own family) to re-establish a connection with her until her husband put a stop to it by threatening to divorce her & deny her all custody of their children.

Gradually, all the formerly frum husband's children went off the derech while his wife took sedatives to deal with the situation.

Chazal speaks about this, that a man's debauchery will deprive his wife & children of their rightful parnassa, and his unsavory behavior influences them to behave badly too, whether they're consciously aware of his transgressions or not.

The couple divorced and he left the children in her custody with barely any financial resources, not paying child support & allowing only the most occasional visitation with his own children (and not even all of them).

The wife (ex-wife by now) mostly drifted out of frumkeit, except she maintained her Shabbat observance. She struggled for several years to get on her feet financially. (Actually, I don't know if she ever did, or if she continued to live off of sympathetic family & government programs).

He took his cushiony new livelihood and went on to marry a financially independent woman and start a new family.

And up to here is all I know.

2 Lessons: Derech Eretz Kadmah l'Torah & The Erev Rav Psyche

Some major lessons can be elicited from this dismaying saga, but one is connected to Rabbi Winston's description of the Erev Rav—well, it's actually Chazal's description of the Erev Rav, and Rabbi Winston focuses on this aspect:

They belonged to Moshe Rabbeinu. The Erev Rav are called his—Moshe Rabbeinu's.

In speaking to Moshe Rabbeinu, Hashem calls them "YOUR people that YOU brought up from the land of Egypt (Shemot 32:7)."

He fought for them (Hashem hadn't wanted them). They followed a leader whom they expected to take care of them.

They never fully connected to Hashem & Torah.

Likewise, in the above example, the man looked like a sincere baal teshuvah on the outside, but his real connection to frumkeit was via this special rav—and only for ego reasons.

Any kiruv, any rav or rebbetzin, any shiur is only ever a MEANS to connect to Hashem & Torah.

It's a way to learn.

Most people use them that way. It's obvious.

But some people don't.

And that's a defect in them.

Secondly, there's also the idea of Derech eretz kadmah l'Torah—that common decency precedes Torah.

Meaning that if you're a total jerk, you're not going to be able to follow Torah properly.

You have to WANT for Torah to influence you positively.

But if you're a jerk, then every time you encounter a situation in which the upper road feels hard & awkward, you simply take the lower road.

That's why the man in the above situation treated his wife & children so badly. Most of the times he needed to hold his tongue, speak nicely, or be considerate, he simply refused and behaved however he felt.

(BTW, people who do this generally feel like they're the victim, which allows them—in their own mind—to abuse others. They honestly think they don't NEED to be nice because they perceive the other person as the one victimizing them!)

His self-indulgence of bad middot led to snarly bouts of depression (being a jerk is pretty depressing) and eventually slid into the terrible sins of disloyalty to his own wife & aishet ish with somebody else's wife, until the final descent into complete secularity.

Because of his lack of derech eretz & his desire to fulfill his emotional needs (rather than his soul needs), he never managed to embrace the essence of Judaism.

So despite his extremely frum-looking external appearance (wearing chassidish clothes) and his external behavior (living a kollel lifestyle & speaking Yiddish), he was always a fake (even though during his phase with the lovely rav, he FELT sincere).

It's heartbreaking that his wife & children got both duped & dumped in the process.

But that's what happens when derech eretz doesn't precede Torah and also when a person pursues Judaism for ego fulfillment without ever transitioning to soul fulfillment.

Just like the Erev Rav.

We also see from the above why the Erev Rav pack such a devastating punch against the mitzvah-observance of Am Yisrael. They suck all the meaning right out of everything, leaving you with a cloudy, painfully false experience of Torah.

Despite the grueling challenge they present, it's up to us to look behind the smoke-and-mirrors of the Erev Rav. They believe in what they're doing, which makes it harder for us to see behind their façade.

Reading the last part (the section entitled "Melave Malka") of the above-mentioned post sheds the necessary light on why they are so hard to perceive.

But that's a big part of our avodah: seeing the Truth.

(Note: It's routine for baalei teshuvah & converts to enter Torah observance with a combination of motives. That's normal & to be expected. But at some point, inner work needs to occur & at least the beginning of a transition needs to be made into internalizing the Torah's essence & values. For converts, the conversion process really needs to do this, the responsibility of which lies on the rabbi involved. But either way, the transition needs to happen at some point for all Jews.)

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Intriguing Ways to Help See Things in the Most Authentic & Fascinating Light: Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Va'era

13/1/2021

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In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshas Vaeira 4 – Seeing His Wonders, the rav takes us in for a much deeper look at the 10 Plagues.

Seeing as so much of our liturgy recalls the Exodus from Egypt—even the blessing after eating bread recalls it—it's vital we understand what went on during that torturous yet miraculous time.

Intriguing Observations about Bnei Yisrael & Erev Rav

On page 4, Rav Miller makes a shocking observation:

There are eirev rav who have become greater than us.

There is no question that we have talmidei chachamim and tzaddikim, famous roshei yeshiva in our history who are descended from them.

He prefaces this by noting that while Am Yisrael today consists of many different races from all the different people who converted to Judaism over the millennia...:

We have among us more Egyptians than we have of any other race.

This seems like unique way of phrasing the old idea from Chazal that at the End of Days, Erev Rav (Mixed Multitude) will outnumber true Jews.

Very interesting, no?

Rav Miller acknowledges that we lack the ability to trace the lineage to see who descended from Egyptians & who descended from the 12 Tribes. But the original Egyptian descendants certainly exist!

Likewise, he notes that many Bnei Yisrael did NOT leave Egypt.

With these 2 observations, he presents an intriguing twist:

Many Egyptians left Egypt with Bnei Yisrael, primarily BECAUSE of the 10 Plagues, and even sincerely said na'aseh v'nishmah (we will do and we will listen) at Har Sinai.

At the same time, many Bnei Yisrael did NOT leave Egypt.

So you have non-Jews who converted because of the 10 Plagues, but Jews who did not do teshuvah despite the 10 Plagues.

Whoa.

And, in contrast to common belief, Rav Miller states that the Bnei Yisrael who remained in Egypt were not actually wicked, but only called reshaim (bad) in contrast to those who left.

If those refusers were around today, they'd be our most respected frum Jews.

So those who did actually leave were quite exceptional.

The Erev Rav Elite

Continuing along this fascinating theme, Rav Miller describes the Erev Rav Egyptians as the crème de la crème of Egyptian society.

That's right.

The original Erev Rav consisted of the "intellectual aristocracy" of Egyptian nobility.

Actually, we see this today with the elite of American society. So many marry Jews! Especially the millennial generation. It's weird. Some even seem to convert (though with many of them, their commitment seems lackluster compared to the many sincere converts we've all encountered & according to what basic halacha requires; many don't even go to a real rabbi for "conversion") But I digress...

Is this partly why so many Erev Rav today (as predicted by Chazal) aim for the highest echelons of Jewish society, both politically & religiously? Are they trying to reclaim their former status?

Anyway, these Erev Rav people gave up lives of luxury & prestige to follow Bnei Yisrael into the Midbar (desert wilderness)...all because of the 10 Plagues' display of Hashem's Mastery.

The Egyptian intelligentsia discussed every plague with incisive analysis.

So why didn't Paroh (Pharaoh) do the same?

He did, actually. He just came to different conclusions.

The Paroh Paradigm

Basically, says Rav Miller, Paroh responded like the academics today: He theorized that reddish microorganisms infested the Nile.

And Paroh assumed that Moshe Rabbeinu predicted it by analyzing the Nile beforehand.

In other words, Paroh concluded that Moshe Rabbeinu (whom Paroh knew to be very intelligent & educated) examined the Nile beforehand, realized what the red-producing bacteria were about to do, then based on that, told everyone the Nile would turn to blood.

Ta-dah!

Likewise with the Plague of Frogs. Frogs already existed in the Nile. So what's the big deal about a sudden infestation of them? It can happen. Also, sometimes a hail of frogs occurs from the sky, right?

So with each Plague, that's how Paroh confronted it, which Rav Miller details further on pages 7-8.

With this, Rav Miller segues into the great contradiction within modern society, which carefully analyzes the great miracles of every human tissue & of nature, yet dismisses all these wonders as happenstance.

And in answer to the question of why Hashem no longer performs Biblical miracles for us today, Rav Miller says: He does!

We simply don't view them as such.

But with our advanced technology (also miraculous, BTW), we can see into so much of the natural workings and truly see Hashem's Hand in it all—just like the Egyptians could see into the Plague of Frogs, etc.

Why Doesn't Hashem Cause a Mass Frog Invasion of Hollywood Studios?

But sure, Rav Miller acknowledges, New York's Hudson River doesn't turn to blood and frogs don't go invading movie theaters & places of ill-repute.

It would be nice if they did, but they don't. (About the frogs, I mean, not the Hudson River.)

Why don't they?

Because (pages 9-10; emphasis mine):

The secret of everything in the world is that it should be a secret!

That’s why Adam Harishon came after creation; the first six days Hakodosh Boruch Hu created all the phenomena by supernatural means.

There were no seeds, and Hashem caused the trees to appear. Grass appeared! Rivers appeared! Frogs appeared!

That’s the teaching of the Torah and you have to get any other pictures of the origin of life out of your head.

Everything came yesh meayin, something out of nothing, and the ‘nothing’ was Hashem's word.

And then, after the six days of Creation, that’s when Adam came.

When Adam first opened his eyes, he saw a ready-made world.

And that, says Rav Miller (quoting the Mesillat Yesharim/Pathway of the Just) is our purpose in life: to pass this test of emunah by seeing Hashem in a world in which Hashem is hidden.

When we insist on seeing Hashem's Hand in a life seemingly devoid of Hashem, we reap tremendous reward for this.

We create for ourselves huge merits!

It's especially challenging today, so we get especial credit.

Yay us!

To help us overcome this momentous challenge, Rav Miller delineates on pages 11-14 the Divine aspects of daisies, rosebushes, apple trees, and dandelions.

Also, make sure to check out the Practical Tip on page 15.

And though this dvar Torah didn't come out and say it, the implication here is that the Yisrael majority who stayed behind did not analyze the 10 Plagues properly (according to the principles outlined in this dvar Torah), but the Erev Rav did.

And that made all the difference.

Very chewy food for thought...

Credit for all quotes & material goes to Toras Avigdor.

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Personality Disorders: What are We Really Seeing? And How Does that Connect to the Generations of the Flood, the Dispersion, Sodom, and the Erev Rav?

2/11/2020

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A couple of years ago, I went through a phase in which I obsessively researched everything I could about personality disorders (particularly narcissistic personality disorder) and also looked into sociopathy/psychopathy.

Like a lot of other people, the researched proved illuminating, explaining certain dynamics like nothing else ever had, offering reassurance & validation.

It felt nice not to feel so off-balance with these emotionally unhealthy people.

And I wasn't the only one suffering these observations & feelings around personality disordered people.

But the secular world went down the fork it usually does, engaging in flawed solutions (offered with bluster & overconfidence), plus splitting the categories into an unending spiral of personality disorder niches: narcissist, covert narcissist, borderline, masochist, passive-aggressive, passive-aggressive masochist, oppositional defiance, avoidant, and so on.

It didn't take long to realize that, rather than a variety of personality disorders, it was the same old inflated sense of importance combined with a lack of empathy—exhibited in various ways according to personality.

Meaning, introverts tend to be covert narcissists while extroverts tend to be regular narcissists.

Borderline reflects the negative aspects of the female personality taken to an extreme while narcissist personality disorder often reflects the negative aspects of the male personality taken to an extreme (which is why women tend to be diagnosed as borderline & men tend to be diagnosed as narcissist—but the root cause is the same).

Naturally bold personalities will manifest as oppositional defiance disorder while more intimidated personalities will manifest as passive-aggressive.

All personality disordered people will at different times display traits of masochism, passive-aggression, narcissism, borderline, and so on.

This is why you see even successful people senselessly shoot themselves in the foot. That bewildering self-destruction is an aspect of personality disorder. However, they often maintain their success...because they lack integrity. In such situations, another person takes the fall or the scoundrel somehow manages to manipulate his or her way out of the mess. (Life is easier without scruples.)

Having said all that, it still occurs at some point that their string of bad decisions finally wreak their vengeance.

It doesn't always happen in their lifetime, but it often happens.

It may be a quiet vengeance, but it's there.

They lose money, family, friends, health, career, power, support...

Anyway, someone sent me the conclusion of a study from the Mayo Clinic stating that narcissists are incapable of truly loving others—even their own children.

And it got me thinking about this whole subject again...

...but with a new insight.

Personality Disorder...or a Sodomite Soul?

Professionals & laypeople already put forth theories explaining why recent generations produce so many people who are so lacking in empathy & so incapable of loving, people who are so immersed in their own ego needs.

And the theories make sense.

However, many people endured a horrible upbringing only to turn out pretty well.

Free choice exists regardless of innate nature or upbringing.

Furthermore, personality disorders seem to develop amid a backdrop of behaviors that don't seem so awful and are even encouraged by modern child-rearing methods, like overindulging a child, overvaluing a child, and offering a child extreme praise & admiration.

In other situations, the roots of personality disorder appear to develop from emotional abuse. (Emotional abuse is notorious for being very hard to spot from the outside, but it wreaks terrible inner havoc on its victim.)

In still other situations, extreme criticism plays a part in the development of a personality disorder.

The light bulb switched on after I couldn't stop thinking about something Rav Itamar Schwartz mentions a few times:

Just before Mashiach, Chazal predicted that the generations of the Flood, the Tower of Babel, and Sodom will be reincarnated.

"Just before Mashiach" is NOW.

It's a weird scenario because Chazal said that the souls of these generations have no portion in the World to Come.

Meaning, when they die, they cease to exist even in the Afterlife.

Perhaps this also sheds light on why Hashem will destroy so much of humanity at the End of Days—most of humanity do not possess souls meant to enjoy the World to Come.

In the ultimate end, we're left with the souls that AREN'T reincarnations of those 3 extremely dysfunctional generations.

I don't know this for sure. It just makes sense to me. But maybe I'm wrong.

Anyway, a lot of what we're seeing now (whether personality disorders or depravity) is merely the replay of old transgressions & dysfunction.

The Generation of the Flood

These original souls remained steeped in their sinfulness until it was too late.

For example, in the Generation of the Flood, Noach publicized the upcoming Flood for years & years.

During that time, the great tzaddik Metushelach was still alive, known & loved by all.

Hashem sent that generation all sorts of natural disasters & obvious hints.

They weren't so far removed from the earlier generations who believed in One God.

Yet even until the moment the water covered their heads, they remained attached to their ugliness: abortion, all sorts of depravity committed with people of the same gender and even animals, wanton liaisons, rampant theft, corrupt courts, an inflated sense of their own importance (superiority complex) & the certainty that they were so smart & so privileged that nothing could harm them.

Like today, they enjoyed a quick transition from tough times to easy times, which imbued them with a false sense of superiority.

In our modern times, people went from kerosene lamps, outhouses, washtubs, wagons, coal or woodstoves, and homespun clothing to electricity, indoor plumbing, washing machines, cars, electric/gas stoves & ovens, and clothing stores—all within one generation.

The progress didn't effect every single person at the same time, and pockets of primitive living still exist in America, but in general, the progress occurred.

In fact, technological progress advanced so quickly that the same man who traveled the Oregon Trail on a horse-drawn wagon as a boy later flew the same journey in an airplane in his older years.

Such progress within one lifespan!

The journey from a horse-drawn wagon to cars to trucks & construction vehicles to airplanes to—for an elite minority—space shuttles all occurred with unprecedented speed.

(Germany produced the world's first car in 1886; the USA put a man on the moon in 1969—mind-boggling advancement within less than 100 years.)

Similar progress occurred among the ancient pre-Flood generations.

Initially, Hashem cursed the world: Animals were untrainable, fields sown with fruits or vegetables produced thorns, and cemeteries suffered distressing flooding.

People were born with their fingers melded together, making it impossible to invent tools to make life easier—such craftsmanship necessitates separated fingers.

Noach was the first baby born with separated fingers.

With Noach's birth, the curse relented.

Later, Noach invented the plowing tools, making life much easier.

With the new convenience of obedient donkeys, cows, and horses, fruitful fields & easy harvesting, a wealth of clean-water wells, a comfortably temperate climate, improved hands & new inventions to make life easier, the Generation of the Flood used their life of ease & pleasure to sink into depravity—rather than thank Hashem for the gifts.

(Note: Much of the above is sourced in Rashi on Beresheit & Midrash Beresheit Rabbah. The following mention Noach as the first born with separated fingers: the Rosh & Baalei Tosafot, Yaarot Devash, and Binayahu on Gemara Sanhedrin.)

The Generation of the Dispersion

Likewise, the Generation of Dispersion (Migdal Bavel/Tower of Babel) used their gifts and lives of ease to congregate together for unholy reasons. (Sort of like leaders today.)

Seeking to create a communist utopia, the Generation of Dispersion included men of science with heady ambitions. (They also wanted to put men on the moon.)

They, too, suffered from an inflated sense of their own superiority.

They gathered together for reasons of power, glory, and material & scientific accomplishment—not for true peace.

They cherished their material & scientific goals far more than they valued their fellow human beings, mourning over a fallen brick rather than over a fallen friend (much like the construction of the Burj Khalifa Tower in Dubai).

The Yeshivah of Shem & Ever existed in their time, as did Avraham Avinu and a pocket of like-minded people.

So it's not as if the Generation of Dispersion lacked the means to know the truth.

They simply didn't want to.

Sodom

Likewise, Sodom enjoyed lush, fruitful plains and wealth.

But cruelly corrupted courts, socially acceptable sadism, and the desire for toeva plagued Sodom.

Like today, much of Sodom's sadism & cruelty were viewed as "funny" or "clever."

And they've all come back.

Erev Rav

Finally, within the Jewish community, we suffer the problem of the Erev Rav, whom Chazal predicted would increase before Mashiach, and also take over leadership positions within the Jewish people.

(This does NOT mean Rav Kanievsky. This DOES mean fake rabbis & political leaders of all stripes.)

A lot has been written about the Erev Rav. It's a fascinating subject.

But how to deal with them practically?

A lot has been written about that too, both in the secular world regarding personality disorders & in the frum world regarding Erev Rav.

Pop psychology recommends going either low-contact or no-contact with personality disordered people.

And that's good advice.

In fact, according to Judaism, we are supposed to separate from all bad influences (including "friends"), we are supposed to live as a nation alone amid the nations of the world (while being courteous & respectful, of course), and we are supposed to also separate from the Erev Rav.

The problem?

Easier said than done.

Sometimes, you simply cannot leave a job with a personality disordered boss or co-worker.

Divorce isn't always an option when married to a personality disordered spouse. And even when one gets divorce, it doesn't always bring relief. For example, once you have children together, you almost never manage to get your nemesis completely out of your life.

And what about parents & siblings?

Or children?

Sometimes cutting all contact with them is worse than maintaining low-contact.

But particularly with personality disordered parents, even the low contact ends up being very painful.

For most people, when the personality disordered person is close family, it's a no-win situation.

Tachlis: What Can We Do?

Having presented all that depressing information, Judaism provides certain options.

(No quick or easy results, however—this is a whole rectification process.)

The Komarna Rebbe explains that when you pray for Erev Rav, it elevates the Erev Rav sparks, which nullify the Erev Rav aspects of a person.

Rav Itamar Schwartz notes that every Jew has some Erev Rav sparks (HERE). Some people possess a handful of these undesirable sparks while others possess so many of these sparks, they are mostly or all Erev Rav (and therefore, the least rectifiable).

Rav Itamar Schwartz recommends separating from Erev Rav, but knowing that it's a massive challenge to determine who is really Erev Rav, he recommends clarifying/sifting through who's Erev Rav via the following (HERE):

learning Torah (clarifying each sugya)
mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice)

It sounds weird because it doesn't directly address the issue of who is & who isn't, but apparently you will either figure it out or elevate sparks by doing the above.

Now, the highest level of mesirut nefesh is dying al kiddush Hashem.

But there are lower levels of mesirut nefesh, like breaking your middot and giving up taavot you might really like but shouldn't indulge, and so on.

The book Shomer Emunim states that because, theoretically, we could all be Erev Rav (or minimally, possess Erev Rav sparks), we must work voraciously on our emunah—that's the remedy.

The Lubavitcher Tanya explains that when Mashiach comes, the Erev Rav will be like how we are now, with a yetzer hara & a yetzer hatov. It's interesting to think that for them, elevation is being like how we are now.

Right now, the Erev Rav don't seem to battle their yetzer hara and don't seem to have much of a yetzer tov, if at all.

Erev Rav is a tremendous subject. If you'd like to know more, please check out Rav Itamar Schwartz's booklet on it HERE.

Why Does Any of This Matter?

So this is what we're up against.

And perhaps this is why we're seeing so much unrelenting, seemingly incurable dysfunction.

Many dysfunctional immoral people around the world are simply souls with no hope & no future.

Since time immemorial, they always proved themselves incapable of doing teshuvah, no matter how hard the obvious stared them in the face.

A major reason why I find this knowledge helpful is because no matter how compassionately they present their immorality (like how abortion is an act of "compassion," and how euthanasia equals "compassion," and how treating criminals with kid gloves is "compassion," and how encouraging same-gender liaisons & marriages is "compassionate," etc.), it's most likely coming from Sodomite souls or souls from the other 2 generations.

In other words, it's not compassion! It all emanates from the inclinations of a depraved, condemned soul.

And I think knowing their roots can help in rejecting their ideas & manipulations.

As far as Erev Rav goes...some are obvious. But many aren't.

So dealing with Erev Rav calls for:

working on our own emunah
mesirut nefesh
Torah learning (really learning Torah & striving to understand it on the TORAH's terms, and not using it for our own ego or power)
davening for the people who hurt us to do teshuvah
avoiding these dysfunctional types when we can

Note: Rav Itamar Schwartz defines Erev Rav by those who act on certain Erev Rav traits (like fomenting controversy or being a mosser/slandering traitor) regularly—as if it's their very nature to do so.

A person doing such things once or twice signifies bad middot, not a hopelessly Erev Rav personality.

Anyway, I think that's what's going on and why we're seeing so much incorrigible dysfunction combined with the promotion of so many harmful, immoral ideas.

And may Hashem protect us all from such influences so we can be our spiritual best.

For more details regarding the Generations of the Flood & Dispersion, please see:

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The Invasion of 3 Ancient Generations: How to Explain the Current Chaos & Corruption of the Modern World

9/7/2020

In Living an Inner Life in Today's Generation, Rav Itamar Schwartz mentions the idea from the Vilna Gaon and others that in later generations, the Generation of the Mabul/Flood, Dor HaPlagah/Generation of Dispersal (i.e., the Tower of Babel fiasco), and Sodom will ALL return in later generations (we are of those later generations).

It sounds truly awful because as Rav Schwartz notes, these three were "only" one-third of previous generations.

But in later generations (like now), they're ALL coming back — together. Simultaneously.

And as we know, three-thirds equals 1 whole.

In other words, our present generation is completely infiltrated by the Floodies, "Babblers," and Sodomites (in addition to the Erev Rav).

And that explains so much of what's going on today.

Let's look at some of the parallels.

Dor HaMabul — The Generation of the Flood

For example, Dor HaMabul (Generation of the Flood) was not Jewish or non-Jewish; there was no Torah or Judaism or Jew in that time. You had Noach and the ancestor of Am Yisrael, Noach's son Shem.

Dor HaMabul was all about corruption in every sense of the word.

Theft ruled the day, although the Pele Yoetz notes that it was also steeped in the same sin that Er & Onan stumbled, along with other sins against chaste behavior, including extramarital sins.

I heard that abortion was also practiced.

They committed idolatry, which basically means that they indulged in occult practices.

The occult has made a massive comeback in today's world. Wicca is considered a cool feminist system, plus the whole goddess aspect has been a prized part of being "progressive."

Eastern religions with all their idols have become popular.

There are many indications of occult even within seemingly secular aspects of society.

I also read somewhere animal cross-breeding went on during Dor HaMabul, which was included in the overall corruption of that time. Hybrids are often sterile and rather than being the best of both kinds, hybrids often display the genetic faults of both.

Finally, according to the Kli Yakar, Dor HaMabul was plagued with moral relativity. Even the tzaddikim reassured non-tzaddikim that "we're all same." (Kamoni, komocha.) "I'm okay, you're okay."

A sinner stood among tzaddikim and said, "I'm a tzaddik like you."

It was the "feel good" generation.

Sort of like now.

(For more on this generation, please see The Kli Yakar on Parshas Noach: Why Did Hashem Destroy the World with Water? And What is the Connection to Hurricanes? & The Hidden Sin of the Flood Generation: What We Can Learn From It Today — AKA The Kli Yakar on Parshat Noach.)

By the way, there is a LOT more to say about that generation. The commentaries, Talmud, and midrashim are full of insights.

Dor HaFlagah — The Generation of Dispersal

During the Dor HaFlagah (Generation of the Dispersal), the vast majority of the world was not Jewish — i.e., not connected to the personalities who later became Am Yisrael.

Meaning, Shem & Ever & Avraham Avinu were around, plus there were people learning from Avraham Avinu even as Hashem was re-orchestrating the language people spoke (source).

Nimrod was ruling then and our forefathers mentioned above found a place to thrive where the long arm of Nimrod's reign didn't reach them.

It also seems like it was a more scientific generation.

People focused on the science of astrology, which explained a lot to them, and they scientifically decided against a Supreme Divinity.

Then they scientifically concluded that a tower was needed to channel the astrological abundance due their way, and so with the science of architecture, they designed a tower for this purpose.

(There is also the fascinating explanation of Rav Yonatan Eibeschutz, who explains the tower as a propulsion system to launch a ship to sail through the atmosphere to find refuge on the Moon, thereby avoiding any future global Flood. They clearly had no idea of the need for terrafirming first — not to mention the hostile environment of space — but the idea of lunar or Martian colonization has enjoyed renewed popularity in our times.)

In As in Heaven, So on Earth, Rav Ezriel Tauber noted that Dor HaFlagah resembled Communism, with its emphasis on the work over the worker (people died building the tower and that was okay). A brick was more important than a person.

Communism is infamous for its atheism, pseudo-equality, its attitude of a human being as an easily replaceable cog in society's greater wheel, and its science (both pseudo-science like Lysenkoism, and real science like its space program).

Dor HaFlagah was also known for its pseudo-unity — gathering together under the auspices of peace. But in reality, the leaders of this great global union only craved power, honor, and fulfillment of their base desires.

(You can read more about what Chazal says of that generation in The Malbim in English on Parshat Noach & The Kli Yakar in English - Parshat Noach.)

Again, this was a predominantly non-Jewish generation. The father of the Jewish people (Avraham Avinu) and his guides (Shem & Ever) were alive & active at that time, but not part of that generation from a philosophical standpoint.

Sodom

Sodom was wholly non-Jewish and known for its warped value system, which extended into its justice system.

It was an externally beautiful & advanced society that condoned terrible cruelty under a system of terribly distorted morals.

Toeva was also fine with them.

Also, I do not know if this was part of Sodom, but the hymn of a Sumerian priestess from Avraham Avinu's hometown of Ur survived until today. (If the dating is correct — and accurate dating is much harder to pinpoint than scientists like to admit — the hymn predates Avraham Avinu.)

The self-lauding priestess is under the delusion that she is the wife of a moon "god" and she boasts of her ability to have "changed men into women!"

Meaning, she successfully accomplished this.

And she is mighty proud of it. She views it as a good thing.

Experts in that time like to debate exactly what she meant, but with all the meshugas of today, it's becoming clearer that she likely meant what a lot of people mean today:

Even if one is clearly of a particular gender, one has the right to define themselves & be treated as the opposite gender — with the truly bizarre results promoted today, including completely irrational consequences within the medical field.

(Like when a woman who insists she is a man comes in complaining of abdominal pain, some say the doctor must pretend she doesn't have a uterus or ovaries and instead focus on something else, like her appendix. And vice-versa. I don't know if this has happened yet, but this is what they're promoting.)

Is this connected specifically to Sodom? Or to the surrounding occult systems?

I'm not sure.

But such a similar re-awakening cannot be incidental in an era in which 3 ancient corrupt generations return.

Also, speaking of Sodom justice...

When we were 16, a friend of mine went to court in order to be transferred into the custody of her divorced father, who'd been banished from her life due to false accusations.

She'd recently found him & discovered what she'd sensed all along: He wasn't the pervy monster her abusive mother always insisted he was.

After enduring years of physical abuse by her mother and 2 years of pervy abuse by her stepfather (who was an elder in their Mormon church & told her at age 14 he would no longer abuse her because she was now "too old for him"), my friend decided to utilize the law that allows 16-year-old children to decide with which parent they want to live.

The judge deciding the case fulfilled the great feminist ideal: She was female.

According to feminists, all the inequalities in society are due to there not being enough females in charge.

Men are misogynists and incapable of providing fair & equal treatment...or so goes the feminist claim.

Anyway, the oh-so exalted female judge ruled it's best for children to be with their mother, especially in a nuclear family situation (as opposed to living with a single father) and so my friend needed to stay in her profoundly toxic environment.

Ooh, it's best for the child! It's in the child's best interests to remain in a family with a stable marriage and a mother and a (step) father!

It doesn't matter they're abusive creeps! Family first! It's best for the child!

And so much for the supposedly wiser & more compassionate authority of a female...

(And no, the judge didn't have a bias, like being a Mormon herself. She was apparently able to be stupid & immoral all on her own.)

I admit that knocked a pretty deep chink in my own ideal as a self-proclaimed feminist at that time, plus crushed my perception of the American justice system as "fair." (Although certainly, it is much fairer than almost any other justice system in the world and in human history.)

It also proved to me the meaninglessness of promoting females to such positions.

From that time on, I maintained the position of focusing ONLY on a person's actual qualifications. I refused to care how many women populated such a position. Only decent, sensible people need apply.

Anyway, it was a ruling truly worthy of Sodom.

(In case you're wondering what happened in the end: Our high school guidance counselor discovered an underground foster care system that operated beneath the law. So one day at school, my friend hugged me good-bye and then literally raced off to be smuggled out of state to an unofficial foster home. She kept on the move, shifting between 3 states until she could re-emerge on her 18th birthday & finally go live with her father.)

I was left seething: THE WORLD CANNOT WORK THIS WAY! THIS IS ALL WRONG!

I felt like my friend, the victim, shouldn't be the one who needs to go into hiding.

And that's Sodom: Welcome to Sodom — where we punish the victim!

All Mixed Up

In addition to the return of the above 3 generation, we also have the re-emergence of Erev Rav and according to Chazal, they take the position of authority within Am Yisrael.

And all this explains why things are increasingly & intensively crazier than ever.

People don't seem to know what is right or wrong, and there is tremendous pressure to empathize with people who do bad things or who are extremely misguided & trying to drag society down with them.

As far as I can tell, Europe has lost its conservative religious faction. Yes, there may be conservative religious people in Europe, but they've lost their voice.

Let's face it: When your big hero of conservatism is a toeva atheist, the game is over. (I'm looking at you, England.)

When the leader of one of your most conservative parties must apologize on behalf of a representative who merely states that he opposes toeva "marriage," the game is over. (England again.)

Yet in American where the religious conservatives still wield influence, those conservatives are still a far cry from the norm that existed (among both the conservative AND liberal) only 2 generations ago.

American conservatives — even the religious ones — have basically given up promoting abstinence before marriage. Instead, they focus on avoiding abortion via contraception or adoption.

Many conservative women pundits dress in an undignified immodest manner, and nearly all of the American religious conservative pundits, whether men or women, use foul language.

They formulate excuses for why they allow themselves to watch movies that trash their self-proclaimed values, read books that trash their self-proclaimed values, and watch TV that trashes their self-proclaimed values. (So they end up immersed in all the things they claim to fight.)

It's increasingly confusing, especially when you see frum people (including VERY frum-looking people) involve themselves in aspects of the non-Jewish world that aren't so appropriate for them (or for any frum Jew, actually).

And they receive enormous accolades for this, including the impression that they are creating a big kiddush Hashem.

It's very, very confusing.

So what's a person to do?

The Great Spiritual Chaos

Basically, we need to realize what's going on:

Sodom is back.

Dor HaFlagah is back.

Dor HaMabul is back.

The Erev Rav are back & mighty powerful.

In the non-Jewish world, it's easy enough to figure that almost anything promoted probably reflects an agenda of those 3 ancient generations, whether it's a value system promoted in mainstream science or media, novels, social science bestsellers, political movements, movies, TV, and so on.

In the Jewish world, it's easy enough to see when a secular Jew fighting Torah is Erev Rav, but much harder when the Jew looks frum and seems to be on the side of Torah.

For example, in Surviving Spiritually Today, Rav Itamar Schwartz relates the story of the daughter of an avreich who attends a charedi seminary where she learns that she must get a job to support her husband in Torah.

Rav Schwartz notes that the seminary taught a lot of good Torah & hashkafah from well-known speakers, but one of the "charedi" teachers also encouraged this girl to find a job working in the Israeli government because those jobs are the steadiest and bring the best pension — all for the sake of supporting the husband in Torah, of course.

Rav Itamar Schwartz responds:

Anyone who can say such a thing to another Jew has a soul from ‘Erev Rav’!!

Nobody else would be able to say such a thing; only someone who wishes to take away the purity of a Jew’s soul can say such a thing!

Rav Schwartz is generally against receiving any financial support from the Israeli government because of their Erev Rav souls, all the more so, sending a precious bat Yisrael to go work for them.

Rav Schwartz strongly opposes working in "impure" places because it affects one's Torah.

As he mentions regarding the famous Chazal, "If there is no flour, there's no Torah," if the flour is wormy, then the Torah learned will also be wormy.

So it's genuinely confusing.

As Rav Schwartz notes:

Things that used to be simple to a Jew as unthinkable are no longer so simple anymore; nowadays, a person freely pursues things without stopping to think.

The Great Disconnect

The post was sparked by 2 posts I came across on the same day, which I saw as a message from Hashem:

They both contained the same message: Disconnect.

That is so, so hard to do nowadays.

Even if you've physically isolated yourself into a frum neighborhood, you still have your gadgets.

In many places throughout the world, you can no longer carry out certain necessary functions without Internet access.

So in some areas, even very sincerely frum people have some sort of Internet gadget (with the best filter available, of course).

And even if you've got a strong filter and read only "frum" sites, a lot of mixed hashkafah still gets through.

Also, a lot of frum people work in spiritually difficult environments. The environment might be non-Jewish, secular Jewish, or frum with secular hashkafot.

And something else that isn't spoken of much is family members who aren't on the level.

The most obvious is a secular family who does teshuvah later, but one of the spouses or kids never makes the switch, yet lives in the frum home.

However, there are frum people who got married in the frum way, but are stuck with a spouse who lacks integrity or looks for loopholes and finds the outside world alluring.

Also, a lot of teens who teeter still live at home and they bring in their cell phone, their clothing styles, their secular music, and new attitudes into the home.

(Sure, the parents can tell them not to...and watch how that doesn't work either.)

In some cases, they even bring secular-style dating into the picture (but it's usually temporary & secretive, so the family doesn't know about it).

Parents often try to find another living situation for them, but it often either doesn't work out, the child refuses to go, or the child still comes back for vacations and the like.

Pop psychology, which infiltrated the frum community, places the blame squarely on the parents.

I used to buy into that too. (And it IS sometimes true.)

But over the years, I couldn't help noticing families in which the mother strove with everything she had (even if it wasn't much) to be a good parent while her husband was dysfunctional in some way.

Despite the motto "A child needs only one good parent!", I soon realized that often wasn't true.

Children need fathers. They need GOOD fathers. They just do. That's how Hashem set things up.

So the mother, who was actually killing herself to parent healthily in an unhealthy situation, still suffered at least one child going off the derech (at least temporarily) while also being shoved into the same "problematic parent" box as her truly problematic husband.

Not fair.

Furthermore, even two very good parents often cannot overcome an overall poor school experience.

That's just one example.

And I even know couples who get along very well and attended chinuch classes (which they took very seriously), strove to find the school to best fit their kids, kept an Internet-free home, and still ended up with problems with a couple of their kids.

So a lot of stuff gets into the home regardless of what you do.

How to Protect Yourself from the Onslaught

So with being attacked from within & without, plus our own yetzer hara, what's a Jew to do?

So...you disconnect as much as you can from Dor HaMabul, Dor HaFlagah, Sodom, and Erev Rav.

And you do so not just by sur me'ra (turning from evil), but also aseh tov (doing good).

You make up a schedule to learn some authentic Torah everyday, whether that's Rashi on Mishlei or Pele Yoetz or Mesillat Yesharim — and even if it's only 5 minutes or 1 paragraph a day.

Spending time reading or listening to Rav Avigdor Miller's shiurim can also have a profound effect.

Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus's books also provide tremendous influence in an enjoyable way.

If you have more time, you can even make a whole project out of it — yes, even if you're limited to English only.

For example, let's say you wish to really imbibe the Pele Yoetz. So you go to the first chapter (Love of God) and read it in English HERE.

Then you go to the page where all the chapters are arranged (HERE), and you click on the arrow on the left side of the shiur by Rabbi Eli Mansour to listen on the spot or you click on the right download it.

Then you mosey on over to Torahanytime.com, where you find Rabbi Noach Oelbaum's shiur on that same chapter (HERE) and you listen to that.

With all that, you are well on your way to being positively & profoundly influenced by the authentic Torah of the Pele Yoetz.

Personally, I'm very into filling up our minds & hearts with good and pushing out the not-good that way. It's much more natural and more effective.

Things work best when you simply DON'T WANT the bad stuff.

(I wrote about my personal experience with that here: What is the Most Painless Path to True Teshuvah?)

Needless to say, I'm still working on this all myself.

Many posts result from my own struggles in these areas.

And finally yet most importantly: real tefillah from your heart in your own words.

Even a few minutes a day can reap rewards.

The #1 Way to Protect Yourself from Plague, Disease, and Other Illnesses

2/3/2020

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DISCLAIMER: These types of topics should always be read with the awareness that some illnesses are preordained, like maybe as a rectification for acts committed in a previous life. Or maybe something to do with the parents (which can also be affected by what's discussed below). We sometimes see babies born with disease or disability, for example. They haven't even had a chance to be influenced by the icky stuff in life! Obviously, there are other things going on. So please keep that in mind as you read the following...

Upon re-reading Rav Itamar's Schwartz's booklet on the Erev Rav (a collection of different lectures given on the topic), one section (pages 43-46) jumped out at me: Protection from Illness.

He notes that the impurity of a world without Torah is what makes a Jew sick, pointing out how Yaakov Avinu only got sick once he ventured into the impure environment of Egypt.

(Needless to say, this means specifically the impurity of the non-Jewish world, and not the wonderful non-Jews who strive to follow the 7 Mitzvot of Noach. A truly non-Jewish world rejects Torah, instead of embracing Torah via the 7 Noachide Laws, like a sincere non-Jew does.)

Quoting the Chatam Sofer (Shabbat 86b), Rav Schwartz explains that we cannot bring medical proof from non-Jewish medical healing on how to heal illnesses found in Jews — even when it appears to be the same illness.

Does this mean that, say, studies showing that extra doses of vitamin C & zinc reduce the length of illness don't apply to Jews?

So I'll risk extrapolating that yes, it could mean that vitamin C & zinc will work fine for Jews too, but it doesn't have to mean that. In other words, the studies don't prove that it will be effective for Jews, but yes, it can also be effective for Jews.

(Interestingly, recently, there was an unusually high rate of measles in the frum community, despite frum communities being generally pro-vaccination and therefore comprising a high percentage of people vaccinated against measles. Could the Chatam Sofer's chiddush explain that? I don't know enough about the whole issue to say for sure, but it's intriguing.)

Rav Schwartz says:

Hashem says, “I will separate you from the nations.”

This is the key we need in order to merit the promise that Hashem made to us: “Any illness which I placed upon Egypt, I will not place upon you, for I am Hashem, your healer.”

That is how we are truly healed – when we are separated from the nations.

But when we are influenced by the nations, we are susceptible to their various sicknesses which Hashem brings upon them.

The more a person shows that he is of the seed of Amo Yisrael (His Nation Israel), the more he expresses the Yisrael within him...the more he merits Hashem's Healing.

In other words, the more we think & act as if we're saying, "I'm one of Yours, Hashem!"— then the more Hashem treats us like one of His.

You Make Me Sick, Mitzrayim!

When did the deadly plague appear among the Jews in the Midbar?

Only when they allowed their hearts to hanker after the influences of Egypt.

Bamidbar 11:4 - 5:

But the multitude among them began to have strong cravings. Then even the children of Israel once again began to cry, and they said, "Who will feed us meat? We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.

Yes, the main kvetchers were from the Erev Rav, but the Yisraelites allowed themselves to be influenced by all the fracas too.

Yet despite the powerful sway of the Erev Rav, Rav Schwartz reminds us that we also have the power to NOT be influenced.

The proof is that in Egypt, we did not change our Hebrew names, our refined Jewish style of clothing, or our holy Hebrew language.

Apparently, that's all the proof we need.

We Must Trace the Source of Anything We Encounter

So, tachlis, what do we do?

How do we prevent illness?

We prevent illness by distancing ourselves from non-Torah influences.

How do we do that?

First of all, says Rav Schwartz, we must trace the source of anything we encounter.

Is it an authentically Jewish source or a non-Jewish source?

In other words, is it sourced in holiness...or not?

In this lecture, Rav Schwartz specifically discusses the following issues:

The compulsion of some to immediately seek to bring any new non-Jewish product or idea into the frum world (with kosher certification & rabbinic approval, of course).

The enthusiasm to get a hechsher on as many different foods as possible or to create a kosher imitation.

Yet what, for example (says Rav Schwartz), is the root desire of those who seek to either kasher non-kosher foods or to create a kosher imitation?

Giving into physical desires, making money, garnering accolades for this "accomplishment"...

Now, maybe sometimes there is a holy reason for doing the above.

For example, the wide availability of hechsherim means that secular Jews have more of a chance of eating kosher food (even without meaning to).

But generally Rav Schwartz's stated reasons are the real ones. Not always, but mostly.

New styles of clothing are created by some of the most degenerate people in the world.

Miniskirts, high heels, and tight pants are some of the least uncomfortable clothes to wear.

Waist-length loose hair is also a major pain in the neck (and in a shaitel, a massive expense in both the purchase & the upkeep).

Yet look at how some otherwise frum people insist on wearing them.

Their insistence is certainly not out of a dedication to uphold Jewish values because miniskirts, high heels, tight pants (for either men or women), and long loose hair (for either men or women, real hair or wigs) are not tsnius.

So what is the source? We all know it's not holiness.

It's something else.

Going off on a tangent: It is my secret wish to go back to the clothing of our Imahot – long, loose robes. With the right kind of design and fabric, these can look elegant enough for a wedding. And it's not just me. I have a chassidish friend with impressive yichus who secretly wishes the same. Maybe someday, we'll no longer be confined to wearing modern Edom-style shirts & skirts...sigh...

Many books today are authored by frum people borrowing non-Torah ideas.

And yes, Rav Schwartz acknowledges that they get rabbinical approval for these books, even when the entire book is in the spirit of the non-Jewish ideas about life.

(Usually, rabbanim do not read the entire book; they judge by a sampling & their estimation of the author's character, plus their good-hearted desire to help a fellow Jew with his or her parnassah.)

This happens quite often with books on psychology & psychiatry, although we must commend those frum professionals who gradually broke out of the mold of their university indoctrination and started to sift through the sources, in addition to using their own experience, research, and study of Torah sources.

Rav Schwartz says in other lectures that some frum people are writing legitimate stuff and also Rav Avigdor Miller said that some frum psychologists are using genuinely kosher techniques but speaking with psychology-jargon so that other will take them seriously.

The supposedly frum chinuch today is another massive culprit of dressing up non-Jewish ideas in Torah garb, then selling it to unsuspecting new mothers.

(Actually, I was a suspicious young mother myself because a lot of what I came across presented as "authentic Torah chinuch!" reminded me of all the Western child psychology I'd been reading in my teens & twenties. But my peers were uncomfortable with my questioning the methods we were learning, so there was no one to discuss it with, and thus it took me a while to break away from it. Reading Miriam Adahan's Awareness and then a talk with my rebbetzin really helped me cut free from it all.)

It's important to note that the people selling Western child psychology as "authentic Torah chinuch!" are not tricksters, but simply unaware that it's not actually Torah chinuch.

Rav Schwartz himself says that some of the people misguiding others are not bad, but well-intended. For example, those who are, say, trying to get charedim into the army aren't always Erev Rav, but a Yisrael-soul convinced it's doing a good thing. They're not evil, just misguided.

I'm not trying to rip apart these chinuch "experts," especially since they have such good intentions. However, they often hurt as much as they help. The assistance and the damage goes hand-in-hand.

I can't help being concerned that parents be made aware of this so they don't suffer like I and many others have.

Having said that, there are definitely people who ARE offering authentic Torah chinuch and who help much more than they hurt.

May they be blessed.

Our external appearance, our homes, and our actions may seem like pure Torah, but our minds & hearts often yearn for aspects of Mitzrayim (i.e., the non-Jewish influences).

This is a huge challenge. As written in a previous post, the secular world has everything down to a science.

They carefully study & calculate how to attract your very brain.

Songs are carefully composed so that just hearing a briefest sample of a song tricks your brain into wanting more.

Movies and TV shows are timed exactly to what your brain wants regarding scenes and turning points.

Advertisements spend a fortune on research to cultivate images and words to attack your brain into thinking a certain product or idea is irresistible.

Video games also hit you right in your brain.

Facebook has long been famous for their carefully crafted addictive aspects.

The list goes on and on.

How to Fight the Mitzrayim from Within

The best way to fight the root desire for outside influences is to:

Bring more authentically Jewish influences into your life.

Read material by real talmidei chachamim. (Nefesh Chaya by Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus is a wonderful resource for women. It's also a real page-turner.)
Read well-written books about tzaddikim, like Rebbetzin Kanievsky.
Listen to or read transcripts of Rav Avigdor Miller when he starts describing how the non-Torah lifestyle & values appear through Torah eyes. (It's pretty witty too.)
Listen to Jewish music composed by Jews with pure souls: chassidic niggunim or Sephardi piyutim are a great place to start.
Do mitzvot. Learn Torah. Give tzedakah. Do chessed.
Pay attention to talking like a Jew — what slang do we use? Do we pottymouth? Lashon hara? Any meaningless chatter or unnecessary clowning around?
Talk to Hashem as you would a Best Friend Who truly cares about you and genuinely wants to listen to you.

These are just some suggestions to start. You probably have your own.

Also (and I feel kind of silly saying this), but I'm obviously not any different or better than anyone reading this. All the above are things that I've either had to face with myself or am working on now.

I'm learning new aspects and gaining new insights all the time — sometimes on a daily basis.

Basically, you want to keep adding light to whatever your own personal darkness is.

May we all succeed in meriting a complete healing of both the body & the soul.

To read the sources referenced in this post, please see:

Rav Avigdor Miller on Choosing the Right Psychologist
Erev Rav Talks (a collection of drashos given by Rav Itamar Schwartz)
Erev Rav Talks, pg. 34, It’s Not A Financial Issue of the Government (when he says "In fact, those people [who are pushing for the draft] might not even be aware that the ‘Sitra Achara’ is controlling them, and they might even be earnest in their intentions. Some of them actually are earnest, and they aren’t trying to be wicked. They simply don’t understand what they are doing to us.")
Kosher Novels, Films & Shows, especially when he says toward the end: "Only the books and sefarim which have been written by those who served Hashem through a richly developed internal world of their own – whether the author was a man or a woman – are appropriate for a bas Yisrael (Jewish girl/woman) to read. There aren’t that many of these books/sefarim available, but they do exist."
Why This Generation is So Astounding

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