Now that we're snugly ensconced in the month of Tevet/Teves, let's look at some links to help us make the most of this seasonally darkest month of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least)—all from Rav Itamar Schwartz of Bilvavi:

Teves | The Goat (The astrological sign of Tevet is the Goat/Capricorn.)

Teves | Dan (The Tribe associated with Tevet is Dan.)

Yearning on the Tenth of Teves (This fast day mourns the ancient Babylonian siege on Yerushalayim; please see HERE to learn more.)

Teves: Overcoming Fear & Trauma

Teves | How To Get Angry


May Hashem please shine the light of the Geula over the entire world.

Recently, I acquired Rav Itamar Schwartz's book in English, Getting to Know Your Soul.

(Yes, his books can be found as free articles on the Bilvavi website, but for such deep & contemplative reading, I prefer print. So I bought the actual book.)

While the initial reason for the book was for its elucidation in the first half on doing inner work according to the four elements of personality (earth, wind, fire, water), the second half on the 13 faculties of the human soul also provides tremendous insight.

While different opinions exist on how to count the faculties of the human soul (the Vilna Gaon addresses 70, much of Chazal describes 10), Getting to Know Your Soul utilizes the system of Rav Chai Gaon, who enumerates 13 faculties.

(As a side point, while the original Tribes of Israel are numbered as 12, they're actually 13 if you count Menashe & Ephraim as 2 separate Tribes.)

The 13 faculties of the human soul are:

1. Havayah—Sense One's Own Existence
2. Emunah—Faith
3. Oneg—Pleasure
4. Ratzon—Will/Desire
5. Chachmah—Wisdom
6. Binah—Contemplation
7. Chessed—Kindness
8. Gevurah—Limitations
9. Rachamim—Compassion
10. Netzach—Victory/Eternity
11. Hodayah—Gratitude/Acknowledgement
12. Hitkashrut—Connection
13. Shiflut—Lowliness

Certain ideas jumped out at me in the section on Oneg—Pleasure.​ 

On page 107, the rav discusses the idea of self-love.

Growing up within the American culture of pop psychology, I heard about the importance of self-love for most of my life.

As written elsewhere on this blog, I basically rejected the pop psychology approach because I didn't see it in Chazal.

(Also, many proponents of self-love aren't particularly loving or generous or connected with others.)

Chazal tends to focus on love of Hashem, rather than love of self.

(Once you love Hashem, you can truly love yourself & others.)

Likewise, the Pele Yoetz discusses love of self. But again, he connects it to love of God and taking care of yourself so you don't die early, unnecessarily suffer ill health, or go to Gehinnom.

In Strive for Truth, Rav Dessler notes the more you maintain the conviction of your own intrinsic value, the less you need the approval & kavod of others (Volume I, Part II, Parable & Meaning).

But again, your intrinsic value is based on the value imbued within you by Hashem, due to your lofty soul & your Tzelem Elokim (Divine Image).

In other words, it's not self-love just to feel good.

Genuine self-love emanates from genuine self-awareness, which in turn leads to ahavat Yisrael.

​Along these lines, Rav Schwartz notes that ahavah (love) equals the numerical value of echad (one).

Thus he states:

Think about that for a moment.

You must be united within your self before you can unite with others.

The more you cultivate inner unity, the more that will naturally spill over and enable you to truly love others.

Very powerful idea.

The rav notes that there are 3 ways of returning to yourself:

1. Return to the Creator
2. Return to the beginning of Torah by focusing on the word Beresheit.
3. Return to the basis of Self.

While affirming that returning to the Creator is the highest level, the rav also acknowledges that most people cannot find their inner calm by focusing on the knowledge of the Creator's Existence because they lack a strong belief (emunah) that our Creator will take care of us.

​This shows a very clear understanding of our generation because so many of us sincerely work on emunah, and even as we make some progress, we still find ourselves falling on our face in this area when coming up against massive humps in the road that we simply cannot manage to overcome.

The truth is, you can work on both.

You can continue to fortify your emunah while also doing the Havayah exercise (in another 2 sections) to return to your self.

The idea of inner unity explains why Judaism places such a strong emphasis on cheshbon hanefesh and self-awareness.

How can you unify your inner Yisrael if you aren't aware of the different aspects of your inner self?

You can't. You'll be like an incomplete puzzle.

This perhaps explains the inner fragmentation many people experience today.

People describe themselves as feeling "broken" or "lost" or "lonely" or "confused."

Exactly—they're missing pieces of their own self! 

Rav Itamar Schwartz describes our current situation as "a world of individuals who are all strangers to each other."

Strangers aren't necessarily hostile. But even when pleasant, strangers lack emotional connection with each other.

Yet as long as others act nicely, many people feel content with the status quo.

​However, notes Rav Schwartz, if you express too much concern about this lack of emotional connection with others, people criticize you as being too sensitive—as if you're looking for problems.

Ooh, the "you're being too sensitive!" label. It's the scarlet letter of Western society.

And so, on page 106, Rav Schwartz presents one of the best descriptions I've ever heard of the highly sensitive person:

And that's the truth about sensitive people.​

But tachlis, how do we achieve this inner unification?

We start off small.

VERY small.

Remember: In Judaism, baby steps lead to major growth.

First, we start with Havayah—The Sensing of Our Existence.

How do you know you exist?

Descartes was wrong with his whole "I think, therefore, I am" philosophy.

As Rav Schwartz explains, based on the list of 13 above, "think" falls into the category of Chachmah—Wisdom, which only hits number 5 on the list.

We want to start with #1: Havayah.

(This is why you should always stick with authentic Torah philosophy; the other stuff tends to be superficial at best & inaccurate at worst.)

So Rav Schwartz suggests finding a few quiet moments in a quiet place (closed off from the outside world as much as possible) and think simply:

"I exist."

And keep repeating this to yourself.

That's it!

That's the first step.

He advises that relaxing music can be helpful, if you need it. (Kosher music, of course.)

Also, how should you respond to the natural movement of your thoughts during this exercise?

Rav Schwartz recommends simply noting the distraction, allow your thoughts to return, and then repeat to yourself, "I exist."

This imbues you with a centering focus to which you can always return.

Not coincidentally, now is a great time to do this before you sleep.

As the rav said in his class Power of Sleep, this month of Kislev contains the power of sleep.

Paradoxically, sleep is davka the time when you can achieve high spiritual levels.

The rav advises a really geshmak Kriyat Shema as you recite the order of the Bedtime Shema, in which you focus on being mosser nefesh (self-sacrificing) for Hashem.

This can give you very powerful sleep, especially now in the month of Kislev.

So you can do the "I exist" exercise before Bedtime Shema.

Frankly, I've done it after too, if I couldn't fall asleep right away.

In his class on Power of Sleep, the rav notes that going to sleep with a Kriyat Shema of mesirut nefesh can cause you to wake up an entirely new person in the morning.

Very compelling.

​Again, the more you cultivate inner unity (via increased self-awareness), the more that inner unity will naturally spill over and enable you to truly love others.

Again, here are the links for more information:

• Pele Yoetz on Love of Self
• Havayah Exercise (Scroll down to "A Helpful Exercise for Self-Awareness.​")
• Kislev: Power of Sleep
• ​Practice of Hisbodedus (discusses self-love)
• Inner Silence (discusses self-love)

To acquire Rav Itamar Schwartz's books in English:
Eichlers
Seforim Store
Moshe Books/Sifrei Avramovitch (with stores in Yerushalayim & Bnei Brak)

For those in Eretz Yisrael dealing with non-English-speaking bookstores:
I approached my local bookstores and asked for Da et Nafshecha (Getting to Know Your Soul) of Bilvavi in English. It's important to stress the Bilvavi organization of Rav Itamar Schwartz so they know exactly what you mean. The first bookstore had no clue how to do this, but the second one did.

​And there you go.

Baruch Hashem, we have a variety of different guides to coach us on how to develop a relationship with Hashem.

This variety can help us:
​

• get started

 

• get unstuck if we were using one method and are suddenly finding it difficult to continue in that vein

Since time immemorial, our tzaddikim emphasize that Hashem should be our Best Friend and that we should speak with Him with that idea in mind. 

Rav Avigdor Miller broke this idea into very small steps (such as thinking of Hashem while walking from one utility pole to the next when you're out and about or telling Hashem at least once a day "I love You"). 

Here is more from Rav Miller about it:

• Why Does Hashem Want Us to Talk to Him So Much?
• A 60-Second Exercise to Fulfill Your Main Purpose in Life

And most of us are probably familiar with Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's focus on speaking with Hashem for 1 hour a day — which is simplified even further by Rav Arush's advice to break it up into 20-minute increments of gratitude, confession, and requests.

This hour is the minimum, by the way. Any spare moment we have should be dedicated to some kind of connection with Hashem. Needless to say, I am not on the level where I do this myself with any kind of regularity, but this is excellent advice for the direction in which we should be going, so I'm passing it on.

We're all in this together & we're all learning on whatever level we're at as we go along.

And Rav Arush simplifies this even more by reassuring people of the power of just saying "Thank you."

He even recommended that one unhappy & struggling woman should write down a list of 20 things per day — how long does that take? Not long at all; you could even do it in a minute.

And despite minor differences in methodology (to accommodate the different needs of different soul-roots), it's also important to note where they're similar.

Everyone believes in developing a relationship with Hashem.

Everyone believes in speaking with Hashem as a loving Father or Friend.

For example, the Lubavitcher Tanya cautions against self-denigration for more than an hour a day. I can't remember where exactly — maybe it's in Igeret Hateshuvah: Chapter 7 (see note 17 also) and/or Likutei Amarim: Chapter 31 — and from the Tanya, it seems this hour is derived from the famous Talmudic statement: "One hour of teshuvah with good deeds in this world is better than all the life of the World to Come."

(I love the Tanya, but am not so familiar with it. So if anyone has anything to correct here or to add, please feel free.)

Likewise, one of the late Breslover tzaddikim, Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender, also cautioned against doing a cheshbon hanefesh for more than an hour a day.

(Some people spend much of their day attacked by thoughts of self-hatred and self-condemnation — wrong. According to our Sages, that is not remotely holy.)

And based on ancient sources, Rav Itamar Schwartz also discusses a way of speaking to Hashem:
Talking with Hashem

The first part is the fascinating idea behind talking to Hashem, but if you wish to skip down to the practical application, please scroll down to the section entitled: How to Talk to Hashem.

For further understanding, it's important to read the entire Q&A at the end, and also the last footnote.

Rav Schwartz advises starting with just 30 seconds a day and offers suggestions for what to talk about and how to do it, plus how to shift your mindset to make it all possible.

Yes, we're a very talkative generation (as Rav Schwartz explains that the time of Mashiach connects to siach — conversation — which is what many of us are experiencing).

However, the upcoming generation is increasingly limiting their conversation to the most superficial kind. If you look at a teenager's WhatsApp, for example, you'll see endless rows of "LOL!" and brief sentences of text-spelling ("how ru?" "im gr8!!") and emoticons.

☺♥☼‼

Today's secular teenagers spend more time on their phones than they do at the malls. An increasing number delay getting a drivers license because sitting in their bedroom with their phone is more enticing than anywhere they could go.

However, even these mostly meaningless textspeak emoticon-laden exchanges still demonstrate a need for connection — even if it's a very superficial and kept-at-arm's-length connection.

In fact, their need for connection is so intense that they keep up these unhealthy connections even when it drives them to suicide (which occurs now more than ever before).

Needless to say, the underlying drive for this connection is really for a connection to Hashem, but the goal gets distorted along the way due to all the surrounding tumah.

So when developing a speaking relationship with Hashem, it's important to try different methods to find what works for you.

For many of us, this kind of intimate spoken connection is becoming less and less natural, so anything we do in this direction (including just 30 seconds!!!) is a tremendous accomplishment.

And it places us in an upper 1% in which we can truly take pleasure.

Melodious praise to Hashem is very, very powerful.

It provides spiritual soothing to your own heart and sweetens dinim Above.

Remember, David Hamelech's Tehillim of praise & longing for Hashem were originally accompanied by the music of his harp.

We have a variety of melodious praises to sing to Hashem:

• Piyutim
• Zemirot
• Tehillim
• Verses from Tanach
• Verses from tefillah

You might know popular tunes for these...or even better, melodies composed by holy Rebbes or Rabbanim.

You might also have your own that you sing to Hashem.

So if you can, it's helpful to take some time to sit alone (like in your bedroom or something) and sing these words to Hashem.

Even if you can only manage one stanza of it, it definitely counts. (I know interruptions are more likely if you have dependent family around you.)

Sing from your heart as best you can, and try to visualize what you're singing, even imagining yourself in the words.

Many piyutim & Tehillim contain compelling imagery, which lend themselves to easier visualization.

For example, as you sing Psalm 23 ("Mizmor l'David, Hashem is my Shepherd; I shall not lack..."), you can visualize Hashem (without actually visualizing Hashem Himself) settling you in a pleasant green meadow (bin'ot desheh yarbitzeni) and leading you beside lovely still waters (al mei menuchot yinahaleni).

​Really immersing yourself as much as you can in the imagery (including the emotional environment) of the holy words can give you a break from anything negative you may (but hopefully aren't) experiencing.

​It gives Hashem a lot of nachat when you do things like this, and it also gets you in touch with your own neshamah and with Hashem.

In the post, Advice from the RaMCHaL, Rav Itamar Schwartz quotes a passage from Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto's Derech Eitz Chaim (The Way of the Tree of Life) regarding hitbodedut.

The Ramchal was born in Padua, Italy in 1707 and passed away in Akko, Eretz Yisrael in 1746.

And in his book, Derech Eitz Chaim, the Ramchal advised investing 1 hour every day in hitbodedut, contemplating the following questions:

• Who am I?
• Why did I come into this world?
• What does Hashem want from me?
• What will be with my end?
• What did Avoteinu (Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov) do that made them so desirable to Hashem?
• What did Moshe Rabbeinu do?
• What did David Hamelech do?
• What did all the great leaders before me do?

So those are some things to talk about (or at least ponder in your mind) if you get stuck.

The Ramchal stated that the most important tool to maximize our potential & our connection to Hashem is taking the time for self-introspection.

Cheshbon hanefesh is a crucial component of this, so Rav Schwartz recommends discussing the following questions with Hashem:

• On Rosh Hashanah, I made a resolution to do X. At the peak of the Yomim Tovim I also reached a certain spiritual level.
• Have I succeeded in keeping my resolutions and maintaining an elevated level compared to last year?
• If not, what can I do to make sure I maintain this level and keep my resolutions?

Rav Schwartz acknowledges that while our Sages advised performing an accounting of ourselves every night, many people cannot manage this. So, in the spirit of many other rabbanim who recommend baby steps, Rav Schwartz suggests performing a chesbon hanefesh every 7-10 days.

This is a million times better than not doing it at all, or only doing it every couple of months. (And even doing it every couple of months can still reap you tremendous benefit. Remember: There are people who NEVER do a real cheshbon hanefesh in their entire life.) 

In Nefesh Chaya, Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus offers the best & surest way to improve tsniut:
​

• (1) Cultivate a relationship with Hashem by talking to Him.

​

• (2) Say brachot with kavanah – especially the asher yatzar bracha (which, among other things, thanks Hashem for concealed body parts & processes).

This wonderfully effective advice follows on the heels of a previous post:
An In-Depth Discussion of One of Today's Most Despised Topics: Tsniut/Tsnius/Modest & Dignified Behavior & Dress

In Parshas Vayera 3 – The System of Avraham Avinu, Rav Miller discusses several practical aspects of self-improvement.

For example, one of the difficult aspects of working on middot and making genuine progress is the way it looks in the eyes of others.

Even if they are good & decent people, if you are only a couple of levels above them, you'll look strange.

I've been on both sides of this, having been the person who looked at a person a couple of levels higher than myself and thought they were strange or even that they "just don't understand" (HA!) and then when I got there myself, I realized they weren't strange at all and furthermore, not only did they understand very well, they were absolutely right.

And I've also been the person viewed as strange.

Many of us have had both experiences, whether it's when you really decided to dedicate yourself to avoiding lashon hara, keeping Shabbat, suffering insults in silence, improving your tsnius, giving the benefit of the doubt, or anything else...at least one person thinks you've become odder.

And I don't mean just the phase when you're acting a bit wonky because you're still trying to figure out how to incorporate the new improved behavior into your old self.

No matter how balanced & polished you get, someone somewhere (or a lot of someones) will find you very odd, even eccentric.

Some people even feel offended or threatened by the new you. ("How dare you think I spoke lashon hara!" "Why are you suddenly covering your hair like that? I always wear a waist-length swoopy wavy vampy shaitel that doesn't even look like I'm covering my hair, and I find that perfectly tsnius!" "Yes, but when you don't answer back, do you have any idea what a doormat you're making yourself out to be?")

And maybe you also remember times you found someone strange or offensive...until you matured spiritually and discovered otherwise.

(Just to emphasize: We aren't talking about people who really are strange & offensive, but people who only SEEM strange or offensive by people on a lower level than them.)

​As Rav Miller says on page 4:

And this means Avraham Avinu too.

Avraham Avinu: a man who so loved to do chessed, he sat at the doorway of his tent on the hottest of days recovering from a brit milah, and still yearned for guests in order to perform hospitality.

​How did he get to that level?

Basically, Avraham Avinu looked around the world and noticed all the seemingly little miracles that are actually very big.

A nice breeze, a peach tree, onions growing from the ground – Avraham Avinu took note.

And because Avraham Avinu saw all that Hashem provided the world, so Avraham Avinu yearned to emulate Hashem and also provide.

So Avraham Avinu also planted trees.

And because Avraham Avinu saw that chessed was very important to Hashem, that Hashem was the Ultimate Chessed, so Avraham Avinu became obsessed with being the personification of loving-kindness.

Obsessions are usually bad. They derive from ego.

But in this case, Avraham Avinu's chessed obsession derived from his pure adoration of Hashem Yitbarach.​

In order to truly realize (or even attempt to realize) your genuine spiritual potential, and to become great in Hashem's Eyes, Rav Miller gives us the #1 advice from the Ramchal (Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto) on page 11:

If you are already engaging in regular hitbodedut, the above also makes for a great topic of discussion.

Here are the 2 important questions are again:

1. What was it that made Avraham Avinu so beloved by Hashem?
2. How did he become so great that he was chosen to be the father of the most holy nation?

​Rav Miller says that according to the Ramchal, engaging in the above will cause you to want to be like Avraham Avinu.

But no normal person honestly thinks he or she could ever be like Avraham Avinu, no matter how hard they try.

So won't this exercise lead to despair?

Nope.

​Here's why...

Just the very DESIRE to be like Avraham Avinu is in itself a HUGE achievement!

Baruch Hashem, Rav Avigdor Miller constantly pounds into our heads the importance of our inner world.

Hashem wants your HEART.
​

• Do you ever feel joy when you daven?

 

• Do you ever feel deveikus when you daven?

 

• Are you snorting around in a filthy, disgusting, stench-filled pig sty...yet you DESIRE to get up and wash yourself off, and communicate in refined language rather than snorts?

GOOD.

THAT'S an achievement.

I think we've all seen this so many times, and even experienced it ourselves:

​GOOD DESIRE helps us get better.

People who don't even have the DESIRE to be good ultimately do not make it.

​There is a world of difference between sinning & saying, "Oh, well. That's just how it is today; everyone else is doing it too and even worse stuff" and sinning & saying, "Aack! I HATE it when I do this! Yuck!"

Rav Miller reassures us (pages 11-12) that just the mere thought of choosing what Hashem desires makes Hashem say, "If that's the case, then you're My man already."

Internalizing the importance of intangible silent acts is particularly grueling in our times.

In a world where brushing your teeth is tweeted or posted, and then people actually respond with "likes," AND the tweeter/poster's feelings of self-worth actually depend on this – what a crazy challenge for us nowadays!

Self-promotion & public recognition are NOT what Hashem judges us by.

​However, Rav Miller reminds us that good intentions still aren't everything.

Rav Miller explains that real desire should incur action at some point.

Standing up to your knees in water while shouting for water?

If you truly desire water, then you should bend down and scoop up some of the water you're drenched in, says Rav Miller.

​If you accidentally break or damage something, even while trying to do something good with it, you can't just say, "Well, it was an accident. Because I didn't mean to do damage & because I meant to do good, so I don't need to pay."

You DO need to pay.

You're attending a Torah shiur?

Great!

But that doesn't mean you can stick your legs out and risk someone tripping over them. It doesn't mean you can spread out to much on the bench or hog the armrest.

Speaking in Torah is very, very important. All of Chazal emphasizes this. But if you speak divrei Torah loudly in a place where others are sleeping, that's very wrong.

(For more on that topic, please see: Rav Avigdor Miller on Conforming To Others.)

Speaking in a way that doesn't hurt others feelings is also part 'n' parcel of Judaism.

Rav Miller quotes Gemara Bava Metzia 58b:
​
Hurting people’s feelings is worse than stealing their money.

That's a very strong statement considering that the prohibition against stealing is part of the 10 Commandments and also one of the 7 Mitzvot of Bnei Noach, which incurs severe penalties.

Consideration of others is part of Avraham Avinu's chessed (pages 13-14).

We'll finish with these final thoughts of Rav Miller regarding what we learn from Avraham Avinu (page 15):

And:

Bonus:
For good guidance in these times of come-and-go war, please also see Rav Miller on Missile Attacks in Eretz Yisrael (1991)

Even when you are firmly embedded within your frum lifestyle, you can still face startling wake-up calls about something you thought was 100% kosher – or even laudable – and discover that it actually isn't.

It could even be something that makes you feel good.

It could be something with pseudo-rabbinic approval.

But then you discover it's all wrong.

​Or at least, partly wrong.

My latest wake-up call came after reading Rav Itamar Schwartz's ideas about concentrating on one's breathing, which he takes from Chazal (as clarified by Rav Abulafia, apparently), and does not borrow from non-Jewish sources.

Then a caring reader sent me a booklet of Rav Schwartz's ideas on breathing & how it specifically relates to the month of Cheshvan:
http://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.On.Breathing.pdf

You can also see a version of it as a blog post:
http://bilvavi.net/english/rosh-chodesh-avodah-008-marchesvan-breathing

Now, I was never one of these people who likes to meditate, but I have done guided meditation with frum rabbinically approved people.

And these are people who care about their methods being 100% kosher.

So imagine my dismay when I read in the Q&A section (emphasis mine):

Uh...oh.

And while I haven't done this a lot nor have I done this since a while ago, I was concerned that something so seemingly innocent & positive is actually "heretical."

Trusting that Rav Schwartz is truly knowledgeable in this area helped me be honest with myself, and convinced me that I must not again try anything that instructs me to inhale "light" or "a power" – ANY kind of "power."

There's just Hashem. 

Having said that, I think that one of the frum methods I tried indeed described it as imagining "the light of Hashem" being inhaled into you, which suits the Torah-approved method of breathing, according to Rav Schwartz.

That felt nice, but I never saw any of the promised effects from it, as far as I remember.

At the same time, I don't think all these things always make sure to mention Hashem as a firmly entrenched part of the exercise – which might explain an odd reaction I had to one given by a frum person, which was not only unhelpful but caused a very unpleasant feeling.

​Rav Schwartz goes on to explain (emphasis mine):​

And in a nutshell, I feel that's the problem with a lot of "kashered" exercises borrowed from Eastern practices.

It's all focused on self.

I remember when I read about Buddhism, for example, to see what all the attraction was about, and when I learned what the whole point was & what the greatest achievement could be, I was like, "That's it?"

Just something like, reaching a state of nothingness for absolutely no reason.

​Whoopdee-doo.

And investing TONS of work and discipline to get there.

​It was so pointless and meaningless, I really didn't & don't understand why intelligent, spiritual people were & are so attracted to it.

So I decided to try breathing Rav Schwartz's way, and immediately saw the difference.

Concentrating on my breathing sparked a dim image in my head of the whole breathing apparatus, the diaphragm, everything. My mind automatically thought, "Wow, how great are your deeds, Hashem! Look at how everything works together so well without my even noticing! I'm so grateful to You! You're Amazing!"

This was the spontaneous thought, not that I was trying to make it Gratitude Time. (Remember, I was just focusing on my breathing without using my mind for anything else.)

Needless to say, feeling awash in awe & appreciation of Hashem both relaxed & uplifted my mood.

At this point, I plan to use this periodically, but don't intend to make a daily practice out of it because, like I said, I'm really not a meditative type. Anyway, he said this isn't necessary spiritual work; it's just for people who feel attracted to it and wish to make it part of their avodah.

Not every soul needs this particular method of getting close to Hashem.

But yet again, it showed me the great importance of deriving help from authentic Jewish sources.

We don't need to look so often to the non-Jewish world for help.

And we certainly don't need "kashered" versions of unkosher methods.

Looking at what's going on in the world, I find myself growing increasingly concerned for the future.

And I'm far from being the first to come to this conclusion.

Right now, I don't want to go into the nitty-gritty of what we're all seeing and what I think it portends, but I do want to talk about the best response.

And it's not about prepping or making aliyah (which most Jews either won't or can't do right now anyway — and who even says that the Erev Rav leaders would allow millions of Jews, especially if they're frum, to enter?) or writing letters to representatives or newspapers, or signing petitions, and so forth.

(Although if those things will help, then it's good to do them. But they shouldn't be your sole focus.)

There's a lot we can't control and I think this creeping inability to positively affect opinions & situations is only going to increase.

So it's time to re-focus on an age-old authentically Jewish response:

Looking back at the classic parable by Rebbe Elimelech of Lizhensk (author of the classic Noam Elimelech):

He said that the End of Days will feel like a rope being jerked around.

Only the people who can hold on tight will make it.

This means that you already need to be holding on to the rope when it starts jerking & shaking.

Sure, if you're not already holding on, you can always make a lunge for the rope, hoping to grab onto it as it wildly whips around.

And maybe you'll find a place to grasp. Some people will, I'm sure.

But that's pretty risky.

Better to grab on to the rope NOW.

And to take the metaphor even further: 

Who has a better chance of hanging on:
​

• the person with only their index finger curled around the rope?

or

• the person who has wrapped their arms and legs around the rope and clings to it for dear life?

Or even better:

• the person who coiled that part of the rope around them, so even if their hands slip, they still can't fall off?

I don't know Hashem's Secrets & Cheshbonot, nor do I know the soul-tikkun of others, but it seems to me that part of the reason why so many people are having such a hard time, not just with obvious nisayonot, but with inner trials too. 

Their moods, their perceptions, their feelings...

So many people struggle with depression, despair, disappointment, anger, lethargy, apathy, feelings of rejection, loneliness, and distance from Hashem, and so on.

But those of you who fight your way out of these pits (even when you fall in again for the umpteenth time) are actually forging your connection to Hashem.

In other words, you are securing your grip on the rope.

It may not feel like it, but you are.

And that's exactly what we all need to strengthen ourselves to continue doing.

I'm not trying to be the Voice of Doom.

But if Mashiach doesn't come already, I think things are going to get increasingly more bizarre & difficult in the not-so-distant future.

And I think that focusing on strengthening our relationship with Hashem is a positive way of facing that future.

​In Parshat Emor: Count the Days (page 13), Rav Avigdor Miller asks rhetorically:
 
What if you only had 60 seconds left to live, chas v’shalom?
 
How could you best utilize those 60 seconds?
 
Then he encourages us to apply this lesson at least once a day, making that day entirely different—with only 60 seconds.
 
So here’s the exercise on how to make 60 seconds the most meaningful moments of your life:

​Rav Miller then concludes with the following sunny thoughts:

​Rav Miller reminds us that we needn’t only do this exercise during quiet moments alone. We can also do this while hanging onto a subway handle, walking down the street, or while stirring a pot.

​Now that Rav Miller has taught us how to do it, he sends us off with fond wishes: