Category: Kli Yakar

Feeling Battle-Weary & Overwhelmed? Here's Why That Means You are So Amazing

23/6/2019

The Battle for Jill's Soul
(Spoiler Alert: Jill loses the battle; but hopefully, she'll still win the war.)

A woman I knew who’d been one of the more dedicated Jews in the movement for Conservative (which is actually destructively liberal) “Judaism” finally made the leap into real mitzvah observance. In her late thirties, she got married and had a baby.

She’d been one of the adults I’d especially liked as a child and I was very happy about her progress.

As I was young single girl who was also starting to keep mitzvot according to authentic Torah, this woman (we’ll call her “Jill”) called me one night to see if I could come over and babysit her sleeping baby. Her husband was out of town.

It was her birthday and she would be going out with old friends to celebrate. After she finished showing me what I needed to know, her friends showed up.

Two sour-faced childless unmarried women approaching 40, dressed in jeans and windbreakers. Jill looked both happy and nervous as she waved them in and invited them to make themselves at home.

Perched on Jill's sofa, they looked at me unsmilingly.

“Oh, this is the babysitter,” chirped Jill.

Giving me the once-over, their faces soured even more. “Are you Orthodox too?” one asked.

“Yes,” I said as pleasantly as I could under the sour Gaze of Disapproval.

“Oh,” she said.

They made a couple of other low-key comments that I can’t remember, but implied that it was unfortunate that I was throwing my life away so young and did I really want to do that? Oh, I did? So in that case, I'm probably really dumb and not worth another glance.

And as an aside, I've always found these kinds of encounters so odd.

I looked so bad in their eyes; did they have any idea how THEY looked to me?

Their pinched-faced childless unmarried middle-aged judgmental anti-religious personas made me want to run as far as I could from being like them.

I mean, what was I supposed to think, just out of my teens? "Gosh, by the time I'm 37, I sure hope I'll be a sour, judgmental, unmarried, childless, secular career woman just like YOU!" Why on earth would I think that? Why are they the act to follow?

So weird.

Anyway, Jill tried to be pleasant, but she was clearly out of her comfort zone. These were her good friends going all the way back to college, and their disapproval stabbed her like nasty needles.

As they tried to decide where to go out to eat (there were hardly any kosher options in our area), the sourness on their faces tightened into a grim silence.

Apparently, options like an ice cream parlor (where most of the flavors were kosher chalav akum) were beneath their lofty standards.

But Jill tried to keep up her side of things.

Finally, one of the said something like, “You can’t even go out to a good restaurant even on your birthday just because of keeping kosher?”

Ouch! The classic anti-BT guilt trip!

Then the name of a popular treif steakhouse came up.

Jill squirmed under the pinched disapproval of her friends as she struggled with the decision.

Finally, Jill said, “Well, I haven’t eaten anything unkosher for a year. I’ve been really good about keeping kosher for such a long time and it IS my birthday, so I guess I can treat myself to a steak just this once.”

Her sour-faced friends looked only slightly mollified, as if Jill had finally said the only logical thing to say, and they all got up and left.

I was floored.

But the truth is, many of us have a tendency to do that kind of thing.

Just Check Out that Dessert Menu!

Sure, in Jill’s case, it was more extreme. But most people feel that, after intense mitzvah-focus, they can let themselves go a little. “After all, I’ve been so good!”

It’s the Dessert Mentality.

“I force-fed myself all the nutritious food put on my plate, so now I can treat myself to something of absolutely no nutritional value that exists simply to serve my taavah.”

This is why, on vacations, you’ll see otherwise very good boys from good yeshivahs treating themselves to outings with no possibility of a minyan 3 times a day. Or davening at home.

And what do we struggle with after having been soooo good?

Eating things we shouldn’t.

Reading things we shouldn’t.

Watching things we shouldn’t.

Saying things we shouldn’t.

Wearing things we shouldn’t.

Doing things we shouldn't.

Exploding over something with the excuse of “Sorry, but I’ve just been bottling it up until now and I just couldn’t keep a lid on it anymore” - sound familiar?

In other words, I’ve been so good, I deserve to indulge in a temper tantrum “just this once.” (As if it’s really only "once"…)

Even if it's not in the league of absolute treifus like Jill's "treat," the "treat" we choose for ourselves may not be beneficial.

Vanquishing the Yetzer Hara with Its Own Weapons

Yet these things aren't black-and-white.

Can the "treat" or "dessert" be beneficial?

If so, when?

Well, we do need to recharge our batteries.

Sleeping in, an afternoon nap, an outing, a picnic, a barbecue, dinner at a restaurant, relaxing on the sofa with a good book, a refreshing swim, a large mochachino with a good friend—these are all rejuvenating activities (if done without violating basic halacha & without becoming a way of life).

Likewise, satisfying a small taavah can help overcome a big yetzer hara.

For example, if it works when you promise yourself a few chocolate truffles after a week of scrupulously guarding your tongue, including in some very trying situations at work or among a family gathering...then do it!

Similarly, let’s say that losing 7 pounds equals overcoming your food taavot for an entire month. Does the reward of a swim help you achieve that? Or the promise of a new (kosher) book?

Then what’s wrong with that?

Even better, if these rewards encourage you to repeat your positive behavior, ingrain a new & holier habit within you, then that’s excellent.

The problem comes when the encouragement or reward becomes a needed dessert that you must have every chance you get, a feeling of magia li—I deserve it. The Entitlement Mentality.

I don’t think it has ever been as hard to avoid the Dessert-Entitlement Mentality as in our generation.

Availability Awakens Taavah

The Kli Yakar explains that when something takes too much effort to acquire, we lose our taavah for it. (Please scroll down to "Advice for Holy Eating" in Parshat Re'eh.)

In his times (1550-1619), the Kli Yakar didn’t see much taavah for game meat.

The struggle for, say, venison:

braving the wild forest
hunting the deer
capturing it
getting a qualified shochet together with it
then the kashering and roasting of it...

...way, way too much trouble.

So people weren’t craving venison much.

Likewise, based on my reading, people maybe craved a drink of cool well water in the summer, but not ice cream. Ice cream either wasn’t available at all or it meant digging up a block of sawdusted ice stored underground from the winter. Then making custard and so on with the primitive process of making ice cream.

But in our times, every kind of taavah is available and at hand. And if it’s not actually free, it’s probably affordable.

For example, junkfood is much cheaper and more readily available than healthy food. Even an easy fruit or vegetable demands washing or peeling before eating. A simple salad means washing and chopping up lettuce; you can’t just take lettuce out of its wrapper and stick it in your mouth.

Others have said it before, but it deserves repeating:

This lowly generation is also an amazing generation.

Bad is the New Good

With so many temptations literally at our fingertips (the very thing which the Kli Yakar explains actually kindles taavah), then it’s amazing that anyone puts up any kind resistance at all!

Even more impressive for yetzer-tov wannabees, society no longer disdains taavahs:

Being a gossip girl can be a badge of honor.
A foodie, rather than being considered a glutton, is now considered a mumcheh.
Dragging someone’s name through a swamp now parades you as “honest” and “courageous”—no matter if the defamation is true or not; and if true, whether it’s necessary or not.
Foul language shows you’re cool.
Expressions of anger can be considered healthy and assertive.
The continuous inhalation of news, trivia, and other mostly useless information stamps you as “well-informed.”

The opposite of any of the above is considered bad nowadays.

Repression—whether of anger or any other taavah—is the new cardinal sin.

Yet wondrously, there are still many people who at least struggle to do battle against all that.

The Thrill of the Fight

People struggle against the constant arousal of the yetzer hara, the wide & enticing variety of yetzer haras, the ease & social acceptance of submitting to the yetzer hara, the pressure to submit to the yetzer hara, and the social condemnation against NOT submitting to the yetzer hara!

Resistance against the dessert-entitlement mentality takes constant vigilance, self-honesty, and self-discipline.

Plus, you’re not supposed to be a miserable kvetch about it—it should be done b’simcha.

And that's why you might be feeling battle-weary...because you ARE battle-weary.

It's a battle.

So really, you should be thrilled with yourself for even attempting to engage in any kind of battle with this engulfing monster of minions.

You’re one in a million.

For more, please also see Why This Generation is So Astounding.

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How to Identify & Overcome the Amalekite Conspiracy

13/3/2019

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In Shemot 17:8 ("And Amalek came and battled with Yisrael in Refidim"), the Kli Yakar mentions the nefarious plot of Amalek:

And “Amalek came” to add spiritual impurity upon their [Am Yisrael’s] spiritual impurity by means of mishkav zachur as is written [Devarim 25:18] “asher karcha baderech — when they encountered you on the way.”

And all this it did in order to completely remove Hashem from upon them because His Blessed Holiness can only exist in a place where there is a fence against immorality…and they also had no rescue via natural means, like when a man assists his fellow…

According to our Sages, the word “karcha” has several implications:

occurred
happened
became cold
wasted seed

The Kli Yakar doesn’t detail further exactly how Amalek infiltrated male-male relations into Am Yisrael, but he does explain at length how the initial breach — the tumah of strife — created an opening for Amalek’s nefarious plan.

(You can learn more about Amalek exploiting our spiritual breaches in the Kli Yakar on Parshat Vayishlach.)

Unwanted Strife

In today’s Jewish world, the only Jews really striving for peace are Orthodox Jews —though not all of them.

Having been Conservative surrounded by a lot of Reform and very assimilated at times, then Modern Orthodox and Dati-Leumi, then chareidi Litvish BT to Sephardi chareidi (with a thing for Breslov) now, I can tell you that the only Jews who really strive to connect positively with all Jews — including those who are not like them and even reject them — are Orthodox Jews (though not all of them).

Maybe once (in a book) did I ever hear a non-Orthodox Jew describe Orthodox Jews with anywhere near the same understanding and compassion with which many Orthodox Jews describe non-Orthodox Jews. (I’m not saying that such non-Orthodox Jews do not exist. I’m saying that I did not encounter them, whether personally or even in a magazine article — except for a couple of passages in one thick book.)

In fact, many Orthodox Jews can be even more sympathetic & generous-minded toward their non-religious fellows than toward their religious fellows.

And Amalek has seized on this division, even though the connection between interpersonal strife and mishkav zachur is difficult to make.

The Ancient & Dark Roots of Today's Movements

I guess mishkav zachur is a particularly nasty way to cut down Am Yisrael with immorality.

The Kli Yakar emphasizes that the strife removes natural protection from us while the immorality removes spiritual protection from us.

This is why we are seeing such massive push for acceptance of mishkav zachur in our times. Even some frum Jews have adopted an embracing attitude.

Note: I don’t criticize the fact that someone has this taavah. I oppose acceptance of mishkav zachur as a perfectly decent & legitimate lifestyle—it’s like saying that other serious Torah prohibitions, like baseless character assassination or chilul Shabbat or stealing or murder, are totally legitimate lifestyle choices that can find leniency within the Torah.

Please see What of a "Lashon Hara Pride" Movement? for one analogy of that.

It’s no coincidence that as Germany’s Jews made strife against their fellow frum Jews (including outright disdain of ostjuden — their fellow Jews in Poland, etc.) that Berlin became the mishkav zachur capital of the world prior to World War II, with some assimilated anti-Torah Jews falling under that Amalekite influence and fighting for mishkav zachur acceptance in German society & law.

(Please see It's Berlin All Over Again for more.)

Furthermore, the current movement in favor of transitioning gender identity touted as “unprecendented!” actually has roots in ancient Mesopotamia.

Archaeologists discovered a hymn by a Sumerian priestess (circa 2300 BCE) from Avraham Avinu’s hometown of Ur, who boasted of her occult ability to have successfully “changed men into women!”

(Please see Why, This Reminds Me of Ancient Mesopotamia! & If the Torah is So Adamant, Then That Must Mean Something: Why Polytheism Really is So Awful for more on that topic.)

Clearly, all this mishkav zachur and gender identity confusion has roots in ancient dark spiritual systems.

It’s all kochot hatumah & avodah zarah — and it’s not new at all.

And they are trying to push mishkav zachur acceptance into Eretz Yisrael.

This is all an AMALEKITE STRATEGY to DESTROY AM YISRAEL.

Fighting Amalek as a Small, Powerless Person

Because the promoters of toeva orientations whomp everyone over the head with the club of "compassion," those with the correct moral & ethical attitudes are made to feel uncompassionate, cruel, insensitive, and ignorant.

That's why it is so important to remember that the acceptance of toeva lifestyles is an Amalekite strategy for destruction and not a real movement for compassion or social "progress."

So what is the regular powerless person supposed to do about it?

As a frum person who has worked in kiruv and was even a rebbetzin for a blessedly short while, I realize that I cannot convince Jews committed to anti-Torah ideologies (Reform, socialism, communism, feminism, Leftism, etc.) not to make strife. (Some frum people can — sometimes. But I discovered that I personally cannot.)

However, as a frum person, I can:

work on not making strife with my husband or my neighbors.
foster harmonious sibling relationships among my children
be careful of my attitude toward different yet Torah-true groups of Jews
give tzedakah to precious Jews with whom I don’t share the exact same hashkafah (like Chabad or the Gush Katif kallahs)
strive to judge favorably
see a positive attribute in even the yuckiest Jew
forgive those who hurt me in some way
struggle to overcome a grudge
I can pray positively to Hashem on behalf of all Jews.

I can do my part.

We all can.

It’s the only way to really fight Amalek.

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Your Inalienable Right to Teshuvah - No Matter What Scoffers & Cynics Say

22/1/2019

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One of the most important rights a person has is the right to do teshuvah.

People have a right to change for the better.

Unfortunately, there will always be those who call a changed person “fake” or “hypocrite” and remind that person of his or her former deeds.

There will always be those with the conviction that the sinful, flawed you is the “real” you. (It’s not.)

But you can’t let that stop you.

You Can't Collect Scattered Feathers

Around 20 years ago, in a moment of frustration, I confided lashon hara in a “friend”— lashon hara that I mistakenly assumed was l’to’elet due to my emotional pain.

Then I forgot about it.

But she didn’t.

Around 10 years later, we ran into each other and pretty early on in the conversation, she asked how I was managing with so-and-so.

“Oh, fine,” came my breezy answer.

“Really?” she smirked. “Because you sure weren’t before.”

(“Before” was 10 years prior.)

“Oh,” I said, realizing what the problem was. “Yeah, we had some issues then, and, oh, there were a lot of things I didn’t understand. But I understand them now and we get along fine.”

She sniggered. “Really?” she said. “But don’t you remember how that person said [the appalling & strange thing that person had said]. I mean, that was really weird. You don’t remember that?”

Oh, right! I’d forgotten about it. But fortunately, it no longer appalled or distressed me because I’d moved past it. Now I fumbled for words. And she chuckled again. Then I stammered something like, “That person didn’t mean it that way and I never should have repeated it to others.”

At that point, I think she realized her own impropriety because she sobered up and the conversation ended pretty quickly after that.

Now, I don’t think you really need halacha to tell you NOT to do what she did. I mean, it’s pretty smarmy to remind a person of lashon hara said 10 years ago AND insert it early into a conversation when you’ve only just reconnected. Furthermore, it’s even smarmier to twist their arm about it — not only to remember it, but to get re-offended by it.

I really think that any decent person would realize on his or her own not do such a thing, even without knowing that it’s halachically forbidden.

But it taught me some things.

Lessons Learned

1) First of all, it gave me the chance to atone for what I’d said. I took the blame off the subject of the lashon hara and also admitted that I shouldn’t have said it in the first place. I was able to express regret for the deed.

2) Secondly, it drove home that old parable, that negative speech is like waving a pillowcase full of feathers into the wind — you’ll never be able to re-gather all the feathers. They’ve simply scattered too far and wide. (But it was a lesson I needed to learn a few more times before I really got it. Ultimately, sitting down each day to review these laws really helped.)

3) Thirdly, it showed me how important it was to avoid doing this to others — and to let the other person CHANGE. Really, I don’t understand why she didn’t switch the subject when she saw I initially didn’t remember the incident. Why did she work so hard to conjure it up again and rub it in? I really don’t get it.

4) And finally, I needed to take responsibility for myself. Yeah, she was wrong to do what she did—that was a couple of serious transgressions right there on her part. But she’d never have been able to do that if I hadn’t said what I said in the first place.

I was wrong to have said what I said.

And that’s that.

The Penitent Peddler

Especially if you speak out against your former errant behavior and in favor of correct behavior, certain people will target you.

And the Kli Yakar describes all this well in Vayikra 14:4 (Parshat Metzora).

There is the famous midrash of the rochel, the peddler, who made his way through the area of Tzippori, proclaiming, “Who wants to buy the elixir of life?”

And only Rav Yannai was interested.

What was the elixir of life?

Shemirat halashon — guarding your tongue from speaking slander (whether true or not), rumor-mongering, tale-bearing, and any other negative speech that is of no benefit.

The Kli Yakar delves into the deeper layers of this story. Because rochel is the same word as tale-bearer – a person who spreads rechilut – the Kli Yakar maintains that this peddler was actually a slanderer who’d done teshuvah and was now encouraging others to do teshuvah too.

What happened?

Once upon a time, the rochel went about slandering others and "casting strife between brothers," in the words of the Kli Yakar.

“Yet later, he gave his heart to do teshuvah and requested the ways of healing mentioned by our Sages: Torah learning for a talmid chacham and shever ruach [a broken spirit] for an am ha'aretz.

“And he saw that these ‘medications’ benefited him.

“Therefore, his heart filled with the desire to bring merit to the masses and to bring teshuvah to all the very towns in which he knew there were gossipers.”

So the rochel marched through these towns with his tantalizing proclamation.

“For they were like sick people who need medications for a cure, which needs to be purchased.”

But the people wouldn’t allow it.

Yes, they came out at his call — to harass him.

“Etmol hayitah rochel holech rachil — Yesterday, you were a slanderer who went about slandering!” they said. “V’hayom atah rotzeh l’taken darcheinu? — And today you want to fix our path? Kashot atzmacha tachilah! — Clean up your own backyard first!"

(Loose translation — kashot means “adorn” or “decorate” or “fix up.”)

Yet the rochel DID clean up his own backyard!

That’s why he was there. He’d found the right “medication” (Torah study and a broken spirit of remorse) for the “illness” (fault-finding combined with gossiping about those found faults).

And now he wanted to share the “cure.”

Instead, they humiliated him and insisted he was still the same old fault-finding slanderer who’d gone around fomenting strife between brothers.

Of course, this can be considered an atonement for his previous behavior. Their response to him was very wrong, but as far as he goes, he can take it as a kaparah.

Yet why did they respond the way they did?

Baalei Ra'atan Don't Count

The Kli Yakar describes them as baalei ra’atan — people who choose to seek out the faults in others and then gossip about those faults: “…they'd already chosen for themselves the rotten path and their tongues were used to speaking lashon hara.”

People who haven’t done real teshuvah don’t see the possibility of change. Even if they see a changed person in front of their face, they simply do not believe their eyes.

This is a reflection on them, not on you.

3 Types of Trepidation

Yet to be fair, there are times when another person’s hesitancy to accept the new you is justified (and then you need to be patient and understanding):

You’re very quick to apologize without any change.

This type tends to combine an apology with self-denigration.

If you're doing this, you're not actually doing teshuvah at all.

How so? What's going on with this type?

Subconsciously, this type feels that the self-denigration atones for their mistakes, and in a sense, permits them to repeat the mistake again. There’s no real teshuvah there and they’ll repeat the faulty behavior pretty quickly after they apologize. And they’ll continue this way, often for years, without ever changing.

If this is what you’re doing, people have a right to distrust your apologies and admissions of wrong-doing.

Until you actually change your behavior, people don’t need to take your apologies or breast-beating seriously.

You’re still in the ping-pong phase of teshuvah.

You really intend to stop the behavior and you even succeed to a certain extent – but then you backslide.

So you jump back on the wagon and even stay there for a time...until you fall off again.

This occurs because it takes time & trial-and-error to learn the new improved behavior. You’ve boarded the ship and now you need to gain “sea-legs” as you sail the churning waters.

But until you’ve gained your sea-legs, you lurch around, tripping & falling.

Others are within their rights if they choose to keep their distance from your lurching until you’ve got your sea-legs firmly in place. After all, you’ve sprawled onto these people before; they don’t want to get in your way again.

But don't feel bad. The ping-pong phase is perfectly natural, especially if you're learning a behavior that's very foreign to you.

(This is actually a good sign because it means you are really striving for profound change by aiming for behavior that is so different than your sinful ways, you need to learn it like learning a foreign language.)

You hurt them so much before, they want to make sure you’ve REALLY changed.

These people aren’t unforgiving, just wary. They’re willing to accept you’ve changed; they just want to make SURE you actually have.

Failure Never Erases Success

You also have the right to fall without being considered a failure.

Falling is pretty common.

For example, after a year of total sobriety, an alcoholic can suddenly go on a drinking binge.

After 6 months of measured behavior, a reformed ka'asan can suddenly fly into an outburst.

There are a few reasons for this. One is simple human weakness.

Another major reason is that it drives home how bad the behavior is. For example, an alcoholic may feel so sick on this sudden binge that he doesn’t even want to ever drink again. Throughout the year, he felt pretty good with his sobriety, but still yearned to at least get tipsy again. Yet after the sickening binge, he no longer even yearns for it.

This is known as descent for the sake of ascent. You needed to plummet in order to really rid yourself of the bad middah.

Another reason is to keep yourself connected to Hashem and disconnected from gaavah. In the midst of a fall, you can’t feel like you’re oh-so victorious and better than others. You also realize that your success came from Hashem and not your own willpower.

Regardless, there are people who will point to your fall as “proof” that you really haven’t changed.

How stupid and horrible of them.

All those moments, hours, days, and weeks of struggle…all those excruciating obstacles you faced as you fought your ingrained bad habits and forged new good behaviors…it’s all meaningless.

Really?

It’s nothing? You didn’t do anything at all?

Of course not.

In THEIR eyes, in the eyes of people who’ve never really done teshuvah, your efforts and successes don’t exist.

But your naysayers are wrong, wrong, wrong.

Your efforts and successes DO exist – and they mean a lot!

They’ve already formed an imprint on your soul.

And so you pick yourself up and try again. Hopefully, you’ll last out for longer until the next fall. And then you’ll last longer and longer – until you don’t fall again.

Good is Always Stronger Than Bad

In Judaism, good deeds can never be erased.

Only bad deeds can be erased (via true teshuvah).

Anything good you do stands forever.

Even evil people get rewarded for the good they've done, no matter how minuscule.

(This is one reason why you'll see bad people with lots of success; they're being rewarded in This World for the little good they've done.)

People who try to convince you that a fall invalidates all the progress you made up to that fall are not coming from a Jewish point of view.

The Only Opinion that Really Matters

You have the right to improve yourself.

You have the right to change.

You have the right to turn over a new leaf.

Sure, we all know that we have an obligation to better ourselves.

But we have a right to change too.

And even if others don’t believe you, even if others mock you or reject you or scoff at you, you need to know that Hashem sees your transformation and that it’s registered in Shamayim.

And that’s all that matters.

To see more about the Kli Yakar's interpretation of the above story, please see:
Part II: The Happy Cure for Blabbermouthed Fault-Finders (AKA, The Kli Yakar on Parshat Metzorah)

For more on the problem with self-denigration, please see:
5 Reasons Why Self-Denigration Never Helps

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Inspiring Words for the Darkest & Coldest Times from the Kli Yakar

21/1/2019

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In Shemot 6:1, the Kli Yakar offers a comforting observation for hard times:

For it is one of the known phenomena that this is the quality that exists within each day close to sunrise:

The darkness is at its darkest, even more than the darkness of night.

And after that, the light of morning breaks through and increases.

And so it is with the majority of ill people: Close to their death, they grow strong and sit up on the bed and ask to eat—and after that, death overwhelms them.

And so with the days of winter: Close to the rising of the Sun, the cold increases and overwhelms—until finally, it is conquered by the Sun.

And this is a natural phenomenon.

Because in the natural world, every thing that senses when something opposite it is coming against it—something which desires to abolish its existence—so it fortifies itself to its utmost against that which comes against it and resists submitting before it.

And according to its nature, it draws upon every resource it possesses to action.

Yet in the end, it is conquered because its opposing force overwhelmed it.

So it is with all the things that we mentioned.

Likewise, so it was with what Paroh was evil toward Yisrael now even more than he was in the past: This is a sharp sign that his end is approaching, and that the time of Redemption is approaching to nullify all the functions of Paroh—therefore, he wants to strengthen his actions…therefore, he wants to rise up against them with a strong arm.

And this is a sign that My Salvation is near to come and My Righteousness to be revealed.

It’s like Rabbi Wallerstein’s parable of the flapping fish dying on the fishing dock.

Fish are never as active and wild as when they’re taking their last breaths. Rabbi Wallerstein said then that lots of craziness and sin is coming to the surface because all the bad is gasping its last breaths.

It’s true now that a lot of loonies and people expressing anti-Torah values regularly work themselves into a frenzy—and it’s only increasing.

Many of us keep saying, “It can’t get worse than this; it can’t get crazier than this”—and then it does exactly that: It gets worse and crazier.

And we’ve been repeating that pattern for years now.

I don’t know when the end of bad is going to come and the good revealed.

But it really does seem close because the insanity is overwhelming—it’s like the Plague of Frogs, with the slimy little varmints getting into every crook and cranny.

And yes, because it’s only natural for one force to fortify itself to the utmost and fight back with everything it’s got against a rising counterforce, things could get even crazier, chas v’shalom.

If we can all just HOLD ON AS BEST WE CAN, I really think we can make it.

B'ezrat Hashem.

The above is mostly my translation, with some help from Elihu Levine's incredible & highly recommended translation of the Kli Yakar, Shemos I. But any errors are still mine. Sigh...

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It's Berlin All Over Again.

25/10/2018

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Destructive notions are rarely presented in their true light.

Or rather, their true darkness.

But they are presented as "light" -- the "new" enlightened positive way to achieve good things.

Communism spread across the world because people truly believed it was the answer to poverty and discrimination. Even many Communist leaders initially displayed great mesirut nefesh for Communism and spoke with passion about the plight of the poor.

But it ended up causing even more poverty and millions of people died, whether from starvation or from persecution or unnecessary wars.

Likewise, humanity first started worshiping the Sun as a token of appreciation to Hashem. They knew the Sun was just a servant of Hashem, so they initially felt that honoring the Sun (and other aspects of nature) was merely a display of honor to Hashem.

But things always went downhill from there, until the insistence on controlling nature and its forces became paramount, diminishing Hashem’s role as just another god, chas v’shalom.

In Parshat Va’era, we see Avraham Avinu’s hospitality to others. But no bleeding-hearted liberal was he. First, he always insisted that his guests wash off their feet.

Why? Because the people of that time worshiped the dust on their feet.

Why?

The Kli Yakar in 18:4 explains that the people believed that because they came from the earth (Adam Harishon was formed from earth) and because Beresheit 3:19 says, “For you are dust and to dust you shall return”—then the dust possesses an aspect of godliness. And they wanted to honor that.

Yet despite their good intentions, it was all wrong.

Berlin or San Francisco?

In society today, a lot of New Agers and green-enthusiasts and animal rights activists emphasize the compassion in their ideology. And most of them sincerely mean it.

Yet so much of the New Age stuff is taken from dark sources and leads to dark places.

Ironically, they often include the word “light” within their organization titles (like the occultist Society of Inner Light) and talk about being enlightened or how their wacky stuff brings them light.

Yes, they sound so caring and in-tune with nature and humanity.

But love of nature and animals does not lead to true compassion.

(True compassion will result in a respect for the environment and compassion toward animals, but it doesn't seem to work the other way around.)

For example, Nazis (nature- and animal-lovers themselves) are considered to be descendants of Amalek.

Amalek was a corrupt nation that wanted to destroy the Jew both in body AND in soul.

In other words, Amalek doesn't always show up with a gun.

They have other corrupt facets in addition to bloodthirst.

Prior to World War II, Berlin was considered the San Francisco of the world. In fact, it started up like that even before World War I. But it flourished in the Wiemar Republic from 1919 throughout the 1920s and even into the 1930s.

During that time, 25-30 weekly or monthly periodicals catering to people attracted to their own gender were published in Berlin.

In contrast, such media was not published anywhere else in the world.

Newspaper ads seeking like-minded partners, bars and formal dances all occurred out in the open (more or less). One such club achieved so much popularity that it was patronized by princes, barons, counts, wealthy nobility, and a young Marlene Dietrich.

Many Germans suffered poverty and class discrimination at that time, but for those attracted to their own gender in Berlin, it was one long party.

You also had German scientists who pushed for social acceptance of same-gender relationships (and all the cross-dressing and gender-reassignment that often accompanies that part of society), including one scientist who stated that a same-gender relationship “was part of the plan of nature and creation just like normal love."

(Sound familiar?)

That leading scientist was also a prominent member of Germany’s left-wing Social Democrat party.

The first male-to-female surgery was performed in Germany in 1930.

(The “gender reassignment” was actually carried out over several operations until the Danish client died of complications in 1931.)

I also found something about a gender reassignment surgery carried out in 1919 in Germany, but the details weren’t clear. It seems it wasn’t completely successful and anyway, the patient decided he wanted to be a man after all and go back to his wife. So the doctors reversed what they’d done and it seems that all was well -- or as well as could be, I suppose.

Then Germany transformed itself into a genocide machine (while still blathering on about equality and nature and organic food) with all the classic Amalekite characteristics we all know and hate.

What does that have to do with anything?

Amalek's Sneaky Strategy

In Beresheit 4:7, the Kli Yakar explains why Amalek is compared to a fly:

[Amalek] was not able to attach itself [l’hizdaveg] to the Jewish people while they were faithful to God, until the people arrived in Refidim, where they became lax in Torah. They created an opening for him and ‘Amalek came’ and defiled them with mishkav zachar [male same-gender relationships].

He doesn’t say anything more about it, but the Kli Yakar derives this understanding from Midrash Tanchuma Ki Tetzei 9 and the Etz Yosef.

Interestingly, Amalek initially came into being because Timna wanted l’hizdaveg to the Jewish people and wasn’t allowed, so she coupled with Eliphaz instead and produced Amalek.

This also mirrors the Nazi obsession with everything Jewish. Top Nazis even collected Jewish ritual objects to make a museum of Judaism to commemorate what they’d destroyed. (B'chasdei Hashem, they lost the war and could not annihilate the entire Jewish people, so the museum never saw the light of day.)

You can see this sometimes, that there are those who want to attach themselves to the Jewish people, but seem to carry secret hatred for this same people at the same time.

Anyway, the point is that Amalek apparently uses same-gender attraction (particularly male-to-male attraction) to entrap the Jewish people.

But first, they present it in a most sympathetic light.

Look what's going on around you. It's nothing new.

And it's not good, either.

May Hashem save us all from falling into Amalek's entrapment.

And may we all succeed in doing complete teshuvah from love & not from nisayon or bizayon.

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A Prayer for Teshuvah from the Kav Hayashar

3/8/2018

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Here's more inspiration and encouragement from the Kav Hayashar, Chapter 5:

שֶׁתּוֹעֶלֶת גָּדוֹל הוּא תְּפִלּוֹת צַדִּיקִים לַנְּשָׁמוֹת הַנִּדָּחוֹת, וְאֵין לְךָ גְּמִילוּת חֶסֶד גָּדוֹל מִזֶּה, וְאַף כִּי אָנוּ אֵינֶנּוּ מֵאַנְשֵׁי הַצַּדִּיקִים הַקּוֹדְמִים, וְהַלְוַאי שֶׁתּוֹעִיל תְּפִלָּתֵנוּ לְתוֹעֶלֶת עַצְמֵנוּ, לְכַפֵּר חַטֹּאתֵינוּ וּפְשָׁעֵינוּ שֶׁהִכְעַסְנוּ לַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּמֶרֶד וּבְמַעַל, אַף עַל פִּי כֵן הַיּוֹדֵעַ מַחֲשָׁבוֹת הַטּוֹבוֹת, לִהְיוֹת זֶה מֵהַמְזַכִּים בִּתְפִלָּתָם גַּם לַנְּשָׁמוֹת הַנִּדָּחוֹת, כִּי רַב חֶסֶד הוּא הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְזֶה יֵאוֹת לְכָל בַּר יִשְׂרָאֵל לִהְיוֹת זוֹכֶה וּמְזַכֶּה לַאֲחֵרִים. וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁצָּרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְהִתְפַּלֵּל עַל רִשְׁעֵי הַדּוֹר שֶׁיַּחְזְרוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה, כִּדְאִיתָא בַּגְּמָרָא דִּבְרָכוֹת (י, א), בִּבְרוּרְיָא דְּבִיתְהוּ דְרַבִּי מֵאִיר שֶׁאָמְרָה: "יִתַּמּוּ חַטָּאִים" כְּתִיב (תְּהִלִּים קד, לה), וְלֹא חוֹטְאִים. עַל כֵּן אֲסַדֵּר אֲנִי לְפָנֶיךָ לְכָל אִישׁ וְאִשָּׁה, לוֹמַר יְהִי רָצוֹן זֶה בְּבִרְכַּת "הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ אָבִינוּ לְתוֹרָתֶךָ, וְקָרְבֵנוּ מַלְכֵּנוּ לַעֲבוֹדָתֶךָ", וְיֹאמַר:

...the prayers of the righteous are of tremendous benefit to the souls of the banished.

There can be no greater act of loving-kindness than this.

Obviously we are not in the same league as the righteous of earlier generations. We would have reason enough to be thankful if our prayers were adequate to benefit ourselves and to atone for the sins and transgressions and the rebelliousness and deceit with which we have angered our Creator.

Nevertheless, one should strive to be among those who benefit these banished souls with their prayers and then the Creator, may He be blessed, will exercise His abundant loving-kindness.

Indeed it is fitting for every Jew to strive to benefit others.

One should pray especially on behalf of the wicked of the generation that they should repent.

Thus we learn in Berachos (10a) that Rabbi Meir’s wife Beruryah said to him, “It is written, ‘let sin come to an end’ (Tehillim 104:35), not the sinners!”

Therefore I will set out here for the use of every man and woman a Yehi ratzon prayer to be added to the blessing, “Return us our Father to Your Torah and draw us near to Your service,” the fifth blessing of the Amidah. The text of the prayer is as follows:

וְאָז יִתְעוֹרֵר גַּם הָאָדָם מֵעַצְמוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה עַל חֲטָאָיו, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יֵאָמֵר לוֹ "קְשֹׁט עַצְמְךָ וְאַחַר כָּךְ קְשֹׁט אֲחֵרִים". רַק שֶׁיֹּאמַר בְּכַוָּנַת הַלֵּב, וְאָז בַּעַל הָרַחֲמִים, בְּרֹב חֲסָדָיו וּבְרֹב רַחֲמָיו, יְקַבֵּל תְּפִלָּתוֹ. וְאַף שֶׁצָּרִיךְ תְּפִלָּה זוֹ כַּוָּנוֹת וְיִחוּדִים, וְאֵין אָנוּ בְּקִיאִים בְּשֵׁמוֹת וּבְצֵרוּפִים, הַמּוֹעִילִים לְתוֹעֶלֶת גָּדוֹל, מִכָּל מָקוֹם יִתְפַּלֵּל בִּקְצָרָה, וִיבַקֵּשׁ בְּהֶגְיוֹן לֵב, כִּי כָּךְ רָאוּי וְנָכוֹן לְכָל הַמִּתְפַּלֵּל, שֶׁלֹּא יַאֲרִיך הַכֹּל בִּשְׂפָתָיו, כִּי יַשְׁאִיר לוֹ בְּהֶגְיוֹן לִבּוֹ.

After reciting this, a person will arouse himself as well to repent for his sins so that they will not chide him, “Adorn yourself and then adorn others!”

If he will only recite this prayer with heartfelt intent surely the Merciful One, in His abundant loving-kindness and mercy, will accept his prayer.

And even though this prayer should really be accompanied by esoteric meditations in which we are not fluent, nevertheless, let him pray briefly and think these requests in his heart. For it is proper for everyone to leave such requests to the meditations of the heart and not speak out everything with his lips.

You might already have this prayer in your siddur in the proper place. If not, you've likely seen it in a siddur.

Either way, this is the source for the prayer and here it is if you don't have it in your siddur.

May we all do teshuvah from love and not from trials or tribulations.

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Dealing with the Mazal of Tammuz & Av

15/6/2018

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Note: English dates are for the year 2018 only.

We've recently entered the month of Tammuz (June 13-July 12), which is followed by the month of Av (July 13-August 10).

Historically, these months contain a lot of tragedy and difficulties.

This is due to the mazal, the astrological influence, of these months.

If you find it harder to work on certain character traits or you find certain flaws getting the best of you, the mazal (Crab/Cancer and Lion/Leo) is the reason.

You also may notice other people acting "off." The mazal is why.

When we know that others are struggling against unseen forces, it helps us to give them the benefit of the doubt and judge them more favorably.

It helps us to judge ourselves more favorably too.

The good thing about the struggle against the mazal of Tammuz and Av is that it gets us into shape for Elul (August 11-September 9), whose mazal is so much more conducive for love and bonding with Hashem, and teshuvah, which in turns prepares us for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

It's all about flexing that teshuvah muscle.

Here are some past posts on the topic:
The Kli Yakar - Parshat Devarim
How to Fight the Crabby Mazal of Tammuz
How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz and Savage Av

May we all succeed in rising above all negative influences.

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Past Purim Posts to Produce a Purim State of Mind

28/2/2018

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Purim for Everyone Else: Wednesday, February 28, 2018 (starts Wednesday night & ends Thursday night)
Purim for Jerusalem: Thursday, March 1, 2018 (starts Thursday night & ends Friday night just in time for Shabbat!)
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NEW!
Here is an amazing & inspiring post from Shuvu Banim:
The Correct Mindset Going into Purim
The section called "Purim Reveals the Real You" is particularly enlightening. It's a great idea on how to make the most of Purim, which seems like a minor holiday, but in reality, Purim possesses tremendous light and spiritual power. May we all receive its benefit!

A Lesson of the Kli Yakar from Megillat Esther
The Kli Yakar on Parshat Titzaveh goes into a whole thing about what we can learn regarding the angels' reaction to King Achashverosh's appalling blasphemy of eating and drinking from the vessels of the Beit Hamikdash while wearing the garments of the High Priest.
Please see How to Avoid being a Pathological Pollyanna. Then scroll down a little over halfway until you get to The Mountain of Sludge and start reading from there.

Joy and Light: A Purim Dictionary
On Purim, we especially emphasize joy and light.
One popular Purim melody (sung also in the weekly Havdalah) and taken from Megillat Esther 16:8 is:
לַיְּהוּדִים הָיְתָה אוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה וְשָׂשׂן וִיקָר
"Layehudim hayta ora v'simcha v'sasson viy'kar."
"For the Jews, there was light and joy, gladness and honor."
(Hebrew courtesy of Chabad's wonderful online source: The Complete Jewish Bible)

Throughout his commentary on Tanach, the Malbim provides definitions for all different types of words.

Ever wondered about the difference between "sasson" and "simcha"?
Or the difference between "ohr" and "noga"?
Or maybe you have a name that has always been defined as "joy" (like Aliza or Rina or Asher) or "light" (like Ora or Hila), and you'd like to know exactly what kind of joy or light it means?

Take a look at the Purim Dictionary to find out!
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*Purim is an auspicious day for bonding with Hashem and asking for whatever you wish. So don't forget to inundate God with your requests!

Wishing everyone a Purim full of tremendous light and joy!

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True Greatness Hides Itself before God Makes It Known

8/1/2018

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There's an interesting couple of posts over at Emunaroma (links below) that fit right into what's going in the current parshas (Shemot & Va'era).

Throughout his commentary on the Torah, the Kli Yakar emphasizes that Hashem chooses the "מעט /m'at" -- the lesser, the minor, the small one, the insignificant.

Whether it was the more diminutive Har Sinai or the younger sibling (Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe Rabbeinu, etc.), God chooses the m'at.

I'm mean, look at Yehudah, the progenitor of Mashiach: a middle child.

And Tamar? She comes out of nowhere, has been married twice without ever producing a child (not ideal shidduch material), and is pretty quiet. In fact, our Sages note that the whole reason why Yehudah didn't recognize her on the road (despite her having been his daughter-in-law twice) was because of her great modesty and refinement when at the home of her father-in-law...she even covered her face, so he really didn't know what she looked like.

(You're not obligated to cover your face when visiting your in-laws. The Sages just note that Tamar chose to of her own accord, which later proved advantageous.)

Further down the line, you have Ruth. Again, her refined modesty and reluctance to stand out are what actually make her stand out. Her refinement and concern for modesty is even more startling considering that she comes from a particularly brazen nation. Furthermore, she's a convert from a nation despised (with good reason) by the Jews. To make things even more complicated, she looked different. Apparently, the Moavites had a distinctive look, making Ruth identifiable at first glance.

In other words, she was an ethnic minority of one from a most unpopular ethnic group.

(Note: I looked up Moavite archeology to get an idea of what the Moavites might have looked like, but found very little. Almost nothing remains of that once-powerful nation.)

Yet very quietly and unassumingly, Ruth swept up all the Moavite sparks of vitality with her when she left and elevated them with her conversion to Judaism.

And that was the beginning of the end for Moav.

Later, she married the great Boaz and their great-grandson ended up being King David...again, the direct line of Mashiach. Ruth also merited to have her story written out and an entire megillah named after her.

The Reluctant Leaders of Israel

In Shemot and Va'era, we have Moshe Rabbeinu, the baby of the family and a stutterer. He actually spends significant parts of his life undercover:

He's born in secrecy within a closed home to hide his light.
He's hidden in a floating box in the Nile (while his sister hides herself to watch over him).
He's locked up in an underground prison for several years.

Moshe Rabbeinu actually tries to get out of the leadership position Hashem has chosen for him. After his first official meeting with Pharoah leads to increased suffering for his beloved people, Moshe Rabbeinu tells Hashem: "Perhaps I was the cause, since You sent a stutterer like me to him?"

Moshe Rabbeinu is definitely not engaging in any self-promotion here. In fact, he thinks he's the wrong man for the job and is not afraid to tell this to God Himself.

Also, it's worth noting that Aharon Hacohen shows absolutely no jealousy over the fact that his younger and less silver-tongued brother is chosen as the great redeemer. Due to Aharon's profound humility and willingness to play second fiddle his entire life, his descendents are rewarded with the eternal priesthood.

Devorah Haneviah led the nation to military victory, but first she tried to avoid doing so.

There are many, many examples throughout Tanach of the lesser person, the one trodden upon or ignored, being chosen by Hashem for an exalted role.

Here's one of my favorites: Gidon.

The Small-Tribe Boy Achieves Greatness

The story of Gidon in Judges has always been one of my favorites. When I finally studied it with the commentaries, I found even more to love.

We come across Gidon during a downturn in Jewish history. Gidon is born to the Jewish nation as it's oppressed by the camel-riding crescent-bearing Midyanites (the precursors of today's Arabs).

Initially, Gidon is a member of the smallest tribe, Menashe. Furthermore, his family is one of the smallest and least significant of the Menashi families. And within his immediate family, Gidon is one of the younger brothers.

In other words, in terms of external status, Gidon is about as unimportant as you could be within the trodden-upon Jewish people at that time.

Gidon is working away in the threshing house.

Unbeknownst to Gidon and his father, an angel is invisibly waiting outside in the courtyard under a tree.

Knowing that discovery means death, Gidon tells his father, "Abba, you are old. And if the the Midyanim will come, you will not be able to flee. You go, and I will thresh."

That's according to Rashi. According to Radak, Gidon tells his father, "My father, you are old. Enter into your home and I will thresh because if the Midyanim will come, you don't have within you the strength to flee."

That's when the angel said in the name of God, "You have upheld the mitzvah of honor [honoring your father] and you are suited to that all of my children shall immediately be redeemed by your hand."

The angel became visible and declared, "God is with you, mighty one of valor."

(Please note that Gidon did not tweet, "Dude! Angel just appeared to me and declared me 'mighty one of valor'! Please follow me!" Nor did he upload a selfie of himself and the angel to Instagram. Nor did he update his Facebook page with the new twist of events along with a request to "like" the "angel 'n' me" post. In fact, he was rather hesitant about his newfound status. Okay, I'm kidding about the social media. I know there was no such technology back then.)

Both Radak and Malbim state that Gidon's mesirut nefesh for kivud av (putting his father's safety and well-being above his own) ignited the merit which caused the angel to make itself known and everything else that followed.

But there was one other reason why Gidon was chosen.

Radak explains that the night before was Leil Haseder of Pesach. Gidon said (in addition to the text of the book of Shoftim), "Last night, we read the Hallel and my father read me, 'When Yisrael went out of Egypt' -- If our forefathers were tzaddikim, then perform a miracle for us in their merit. And if they were reshaim, then just as you performed for them, perform a miracle for us too."

(Again, Gidon said this privately to God and the angel. He spoke quietly from the heart; he did not pass it on to the town crier.)

And Hashem said, "By your life! Because you acted as a defender [sanigor] for my children, you are worth Me speaking with you immediately."

VERY powerful stuff, as you can see.

Just the quiet self-sacrifice for his father and then arguing with God to perform a miracle not just for himself, but for the ENTIRE Jewish people...Gidon was suddenly catapulted from oppressed insignificant little Jew to prophet and national redeemer.

Not bad for a boy from a small tribe, eh?

There was no audience for Gidon initial actions. Just his father and an angel.

But Gidon's vocalized care and concern for everyone else apparently went viral in Shamayim.

The sparks Ruth's conversion swept out of Moav:
The Powerful Secret of Sincere Conversion

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Pesach Insights and Divrei Torah from the Kli Yakar

5/4/2017

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If you're looking for Kli Yakar insights for Pesach, here are two posts:

Winning the Battles against Ourselves and the Stars

Insights into The Son Who Does Not Know to Ask of the Passover Haggadah

Chag Pesach kasher v'sameach! Have a kosher and happy Passover!

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<<Previous

Feeling Battle-Weary & Overwhelmed? Here's Why That Means You are So Amazing

The Battle for Jill's Soul
(Spoiler Alert: Jill loses the battle; but hopefully, she'll still win the war.)

Just Check Out that Dessert Menu!

Vanquishing the Yetzer Hara with Its Own Weapons

Availability Awakens Taavah

Bad is the New Good

The Thrill of the Fight

How to Identify & Overcome the Amalekite Conspiracy

Unwanted Strife

The Ancient & Dark Roots of Today's Movements

Fighting Amalek as a Small, Powerless Person

Your Inalienable Right to Teshuvah - No Matter What Scoffers & Cynics Say

You Can't Collect Scattered Feathers

Lessons Learned

The Penitent Peddler

Baalei Ra'atan Don't Count

3 Types of Trepidation

Failure Never Erases Success

Good is Always Stronger Than Bad

The Only Opinion that Really Matters

Inspiring Words for the Darkest & Coldest Times from the Kli Yakar

It's Berlin All Over Again.

Berlin or San Francisco?

Amalek's Sneaky Strategy

A Prayer for Teshuvah from the Kav Hayashar

Dealing with the Mazal of Tammuz & Av

Past Purim Posts to Produce a Purim State of Mind

True Greatness Hides Itself before God Makes It Known

The Reluctant Leaders of Israel

The Small-Tribe Boy Achieves Greatness

Pesach Insights and Divrei Torah from the Kli Yakar

Myrtle Rising

Categories

Jewish Blogs

Jewish Current Events

Jewish Health

Archives

Copyright Notice

The Battle for Jill's Soul(Spoiler Alert: Jill loses the battle; but hopefully, she'll still win the war.)

Just Check Out that Dessert Menu!

Vanquishing the Yetzer Hara with Its Own Weapons

Availability Awakens Taavah

Bad is the New Good

The Thrill of the Fight

Unwanted Strife

The Ancient & Dark Roots of Today's Movements

Fighting Amalek as a Small, Powerless Person

You Can't Collect Scattered Feathers

Lessons Learned

The Penitent Peddler

Baalei Ra'atan Don't Count

3 Types of Trepidation

Failure Never Erases Success

Good is Always Stronger Than Bad

The Only Opinion that Really Matters

Berlin or San Francisco?

Amalek's Sneaky Strategy

The Reluctant Leaders of Israel

The Small-Tribe Boy Achieves Greatness

Myrtle Rising

Categories

Jewish Blogs

Jewish Current Events

Jewish Health

Archives

Copyright Notice

The Battle for Jill's Soul
(Spoiler Alert: Jill loses the battle; but hopefully, she'll still win the war.)