Toras Avigdor put together an amazing dvar Torah from Rav Avigdor Miller for Parshat Ha'azinu: Parshas Haazinu-Shuva 3 – Ten Tidbits of Advice.

Here is the table of contents to whet your appetite:

Introduction: Life Advice
#1 Get To Work
#2 Safety First!
#3 Keep Quiet
#4 Seek Peace
#5 Smile! 
#6 Pray Constantly
#7 Recognize Your Good Fortune
#8 Choose Your Neighbors
#9 Do Teshuva
#10 Seek Counsel
Afterword

I thought about putting together a post on it. But the truth is, it's such a straightforward, smooth, & enjoyable read, I found I didn't have much to say except to keep repeating: "Wow, Rav Miller really hit the hammer on the nail with this one!" 

Enjoy!

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Netzavim-Vayelech: Career of Speaking, Rav Miller discusses the famous phrase regarding Torah:
​"It's not far away from you; actually it's something very close to you."

​But, says Rav Miller, how can that be?

Any authentic Torah literature we read emphasizes the high ideals & expectations Hashem holds of us.

Most of us who read the classic mussar masters feel that, no matter how lovingly presented, the goals stand far beyond our reach.

How is it not only close, but VERY close?  

The verse itself tells us what to do: "...with your mouth and with your heart to do it." (Devarim 30:14)

Rav Miller divides this up into 3 stages:

1. b'ficha – with your mouth: You need to talk.
2. bilvavecha – with your heart: Your thoughts based on your most authentic feelings.
3. la'asot — You must do it; you need to actualize your talk & your thoughts.

At a glance, the process is:

1. your mouth
2. your thoughts
3. to accomplish

​Rav Miller discusses with your mouth.

Say it out loud!

That's the first step.

Verbalize your goals & aspirations.

Rav Miller notes that today they call such an idea "autosuggestion," but the foundation of the idea is found in Torah.

(Disclaimer: I know that since the advent of modern psychology, frum practitioners make a point of saying that whatever theory is popular at any given time, it's rooted in Torah. But when Rav Miller says it, it's actually true.)

Over time, the way you talk is the way you start to think.

Many converts & baalei teshuvah experience this when they transition from the coarser, foul-mouthed, increasingly hate-filled & condemning secular society to a frum community.

The laws of derech eretz, greeting others with a pleasant face, refraining from lashon hara while giving the benefit of the doubt, saying "baruch Hashem," blessing people & wishing them good things, expressing gratitude — all this spoken goodness influences the personality over time.

​Speech is unique to human beings.

It's part of the Divinely given human soul.

Rav Miller notes a fascinating function of the body: Even without speaking, the very act of thinking activates the larynx, palate, and tongue.

This is why, he says, eating makes thinking more difficult—not impossible, but more difficult.

That's because the speech mechanisms are involved with chewing & swallowing.

Using speech for self-improvement has gone on for ages in Judaism.

In fact, David Hamelech did this via Tehillim.

If you read the Tehillim, it's clear than many verses are him speaking privately: to himself with Hashem as his Exalted Audience.

Many times, I feel discomfited reciting the verses in which David Hamelech affirms his innocence & inner goodness. Being far beneath his level, I hold no such delusions about myself.

​But maybe by repeating his words, we can become the sincerely good & innocent person he became.

Likewise, David Hamelech constantly repeated "Hashem is my refuge, You are my Shelter, I am YOUR servant Hashem, etc." 

Saying it reinforces one's emunah.

On page 7, Rav Miller offers advice on how to say Tehillim.

The greatest Chassidic Rebbes repeated verses & holy thoughts in melody, singing these repeatedly.

Many Sages have advised meditating over a verse or piece of mussar.

In Slabodka yeshivah, they used to repeat until shouting a line from Mesillat Yesharim for a long time.

Rebbe Nachman's advice to speak to Hashem in your own words for an hour is part of this.

We should say, "I love You, Hashem."

Even if we don't feel it, saying it is VERY good.

Saying it can open one's heart to such beautiful & powerful emotions.

Rav Miller advises doing this with a mezuzah too. Look at or touch the mezuzah and say or think, "I love You, Hashem."

As far as teaching your children this concept (a vital part of chinuch, though it's rarely addressed in chinuch classes), Rav Miller says (page 11):

On pages 12-17, Rav Miller elucidates on how to genuinely feel & then express gratitude for sunny days, windy days, rainy days, our homes, our functions, and much more.

There are a lot of people who don't know how to stop talking.

A lot of people display a tendency to monologue.

Others can't refrain from emphasizing insignificant details as they speak.

For example, I knew someone who had great middot & was very likable, but I found her conversational style challenging.

For example, she recalled a childhood memory like this:
"I sat in the right-hand window seat of the car and it was 81 degrees outside—no, wait. It was eighty-THREE degrees outside. I remember the exact temperature because..."

And the entire monologue went on like that.

And while she was extremely pleasant to speak with in a give-and-take conversation or small talk, she related events in the above manner.

This is difficult to listen to...for another person.

However, Hashem is very different.

This desire to verbalize even the smallest details of events & thoughts?

These are great assets when speaking to Hashem!

If such a person can use their innate tendency to monologue, talk a lot, and over-focus on all sorts of particulars to speak to Hashem & to discuss holy verses & statements, or express feelings to Hashem, then THIS is a wonderful asset.

I imagine that's why Hashem gave so many people this tendency; they have the tremendous zechut to elevate themselves (and sweeten din over the world) in this way.

​Years ago, I started going through the Me'am Loez by borrowing volumes from a friend who owned the entire set in English translation.

The Me'am Loez is an astonishing masterpiece of Torah scholarship—written completely in Ladino.

​Initiated by Rav Yaakov Culi & first published in 1730 in Turkey, it sparked a revolution amid the deteriorating spiritual situation of Sephardi Jewry in the Mediterranean countries.

Reportedly, tens of thousands of families who'd neglected religious observance embraced full religious adherence after reading just the first volume of Me'am Lo'ez.

With the heartfelt goal of giving his fellow Jews a positive answer for the Heavenly Court on the day of death, Rav Culi reassured them that as long as they studied the Me'am Lo'ez every day, they could claim before Heaven that they had learned the whole Torah because the Me'am Lo'ez covers all aspects of Torah.

Its English translator, Rav Aryeh Kaplan, likens its restorative influence to that of Chassidus on Ashkenazi Jewry.

What is the Me'am Lo'ez and what was its power?

First of all, Rav Culi decided to write in the vernacular of those times—Ladino (Judeo-Spanish).

Many Sephardi Jews of that time either did not understand Hebrew or did not understand it well, making much of Jewish scholarship inaccessible to them.

The best way to provide them with knowledge was via their spoken language of Ladino.

With a development similar to that of Yiddish, Ladino consists of a strong Spanish base with many Hebrew words mixed in & Hebrew also influences Ladino's syntax. Aramaic, Arabic, Portuguese, Turkish, and Greek loanwords also appear in Ladino.

For centuries, Ladino remained the common language for Jews of Spain, Portugal, Turkey, Greece, the Balkans, the Middle East, and North Africa.

The wife of my husband's brother grew up speaking Ladino because her mother never learned Hebrew well, and Ladino was what she spoke in Spanish Morocco (Tangier). A Moroccan cousin of my husband also attended a school for religious Jewish girls in Tangier, and Ladino was the language of instruction.

Hardly anyone speaks Ladino today and the few who know Ladino or learn it do not use it as their primary language of communication.

However, a Ladino song with a wonderful melody about Avraham Avinu remains popular even today: El Rey Nimrod — King Nimrod. 

This song (including an English translation) is easily found today, and several modern singers have recorded it. I first encountered it years ago on a cassette of songs by Yehoram Gaon, and immediately fell in love with it.

A deeply religious song, it's one of the last vestiges of Ladino in popular culture.

The Me'am Lo'ez is commonly referred to as a commentary on the Torah.

And it is.

But it's also much more than that.

Though written according to the chronology of the verses of Torah, the Me'am Lo'ez reads much like a novel.

And therein lies part of its great power of influence: The Me'am Lo'ez provides enjoyable & fascinating reading.

Throughout the masterpiece, Rav Culi (and the Sages who continued the Me'am Lo'ez after him; Rav Culi passed away after completing all of Beresheit & two-thirds of Shemot) brings a wealth of Torah scholarship written in a conversational manner.

In fact, reading an English translation of the Me'am Lo'ez, it's astonishing to see the breadth & depth of Rav Culi's knowledge.

Even if one studied copiously for 200 years, how could one know so much, both of well-known & copiously studied works and also little-known midrashim?

Tanach, Talmud, mussar, halacha, midrashim, Zohar — Rav Culi not only knew these works with amazing familiarity, but also knew all the commentaries associated with these works.

And although it's thought of a Sephardi work, only its halacha is specifically Sephardi (although in translation, scholars added the Ashkenazi variations in brackets).

The rest of the Me'am Lo'ez reaps from a wealth of universal scholarship: Talmud, Zohar, Midrash Rabbah, Kli Yakar, Yalkut Shimoni, Rashi, Rambam, Ramban, Ralbag, Magen Avraham, Abarbanel, Pri Chadash, and much more.

If you read the Me'am Lo'ez on any parsha or book (like, say, Shoftim/Judges), you will not only end up knowing that parsha or book well, but you will learn a lot of halacha, mussar, kabbalah, and just plain fascinating information.

In its heyday, a bride's family purchased a set of the Me'am Lo'ez for the groom, much like the bride's side purchases a set of the Talmud for the groom today.

And much like today's Jewish man commits himself the the program of Daf Yomi (a page of Talmud per day), Jewish men were also expected to learn a portion of the Me'am Lo'ez every day.

Those who could not afford a set of their own or who could not read attended public readings in synagogues.

(Readings, both public & private, plus discussions, enabled women to also learn the content of the Me'am Lo'ez.)

And the reading of the original Me'am Lo'ez is where we struggle today.

The Me'am Lo'ez was originally printed using Hebrew letters.

Like Yiddish, Ladino was originally written with Hebrew letters.

And the script used was similar to Rashi-script.

Who knows Rashi-script today?

Only frum people, and not all frum people can read it. And it's not as easy to read as regular Hebrew script.

Furthermore, as noted above, hardly any Ladino-speakers remain to understand, let alone translate the Me'am Lo'ez.

You also need to be a real Torah scholar in order to both understand & explain the concepts elucidated in the Me'am Lo'ez.

​Fortunately, such a person was found in Yerushalayim in the late Sixties: Rav Shmuel Yerushalmi.

Interestingly, it was an Ashkenazi Jew, Rav Chanoch Eliezer Wagshal, who initiated the first Hebrew translation project.

After hearing Sephardi Sages discuss the Me'am Lo'ez & seeing Sephardi shopkeepers learn from it during pauses in sales, Rav Wagshal decided (with the support of another Ashkenazi Jew, Rav Asher Zelig Margolius) to seek its translation into Hebrew.

Actually, even before these Ashkenazi rabbanim sought to produce a Hebrew translation, the greatest Sephardi Sages of that time already spoke with Rav Margolius about a Hebrew translation to prevent the Me'am Lo'ez from being completely lost to the Jewish people.

A decade later, Rav Wagshal approached Rav Aryeh Kaplan with the goal of translating it into English.

Despite Rav Kaplan's Ashkenazi-sounding surname, Rav Kaplan's family originates from the Spanish city of Carmona and Rav Kaplan's grandfather was fluent in Ladino. Though he taught Ladino to Rav Aryeh Kaplan, it happened early in his youth and much had been forgotten.

Not to mention, many Ladino words known among Sephardi Jews of the 18th Century failed to remain in use over the centuries.

​For these reasons, Rav Kaplan reluctantly conceded to utilizing Rav Shmuel Yerushalmi's excellent Hebrew translation (rather than translating exclusively & directly from the original Ladino), though his English translation also follows & utilizes the original Ladino. 

(The above information is found in the Translator's Preface to the English translation of Beresheit-Noach in Volume 1 of the Me'am Lo'ez.)

However...

Neither the Hebrew nor the English translations reflect a complete translation of the Me'am Lo'ez.

Especially in the books following the Chumash, it's questionable how closely the Hebrew translation follows the original Ladino.

Certainly, both translations are fascinating & enriching masterpieces, which retain much of the original content of the Ladino Me'am Lo'ez.

However, the Hebrew translation of Beresheit/Genesis omits several paragraphs dealing with Kabbalistic interpretations.

However, Rav Kaplan restored some of them into the English translation.

On the other hand, the English translation omits some scientific discussion.

​Rav Culi made those scientific interpretations according to the most brilliant knowledge of the 18th Century, but at the time of Rav Kaplan's translation, those same interpretations were outdated and Rav Kaplan feared they might diminish appreciation of the Me'am Lo'ez in full.

(I couldn't help wondering about this, knowing how science ebbs & flows throughout time. I remember reading another translation of a book about Jews in Yemen, with the translator's apologetic disclaimer regarding certain natural medical practices of that time as being what they considered helpful back then — only for such techniques to make a comeback in our times, with evidence to back up their efficacy.)

Note: Like Rav Yaakov Culi, Rav Aryeh Kaplan passed away before completing the English translation, and so the English translation was completed by others.

Reading the above brought me to the sad realization that the best a non-Ladino speaker could do is read both the English & the Hebrew translation, but even then, you still won't get the full original, whether the supposedly outdated science or the deep Kabbalistic interpretations or other deviations.

(Also, I found it intriguing that Rav Culi had no problem including certain Kabbalistic interpretations for the most ignorant of his time, but both Rav Yerushalmi & Rav Kaplan concluded that at least some of them are not appropriate for us, even we frummies. How times have changed...the 18-century am haaretz could apparently handle what the the 20th-century educated frummie could not)

However, with all the Spanish comprising Ladino, couldn't one of the many frum Spanish-Hebrew-speaking rabbis of today produce at least a full Hebrew translation—and really, there are even rabbis who know Spanish, Hebrew, and English too.

Can't we have a complete translation of the original in both Hebrew & English?

Furthermore, how about a transliteration of the original Rashi-script to the Latin-based script used by all Spanish-speakers today? Wouldn't that make the original Me'am Lo'ez accessible to at least Spanish-speaking Jewry today (plus make it a lot easier for non-native-Spanish-speakers to work it out)?

As stated above, you really need a full-fledged Torah scholar to translate the 3 million words of the Me'am Lo'ez. 

While this whittles down quite a bit the number of available candidates for the task, they certainly exist.

The problem is that with Rav Yerushalmi's skillful translation, there isn't much impetus to re-invent the wheel.

Just to figure out the omitted sections—sections which really might not be appropriate for the average reader today—and other deviations from the original?

No, it's an overwhelming task for such minor reasons.

Ditto with an English translation, even though we have rabbis knowledgeable in Spanish & English.

And what about a transliteration? Shouldn't that be easy enough if Ladino is anyway based on Spanish?

Well, actually, no...

Why not?

Because...

Disclaimer: Different regions of Spanish-speakers pronounce the same words differently. I chose one & lack the knowledge to include all the variations. In fact, I never learned Spanish; I only tried to learn some to understand the original Ladino of the Me'am Lo'ez. Anyway, please keep the above in mind if you're used to a different pronunciation.

It seems that Ladino adopted a—let's call it phonetic, maybe?—pronunciation of Spanish words.

For example, the Spanish word for "people" is gente.

Gente is pronounced "hen-teh."

However, in the original Me'am Lo'ez, gente is spelled:

In English transliteration, that's probably pronounced "zheenty" — which is how one might pronounce gente without knowing the rules of Spanish.

(Imagine the "zh" pronounced like the "s" in "pleasure." It's a j-z sound not found in English, but common in European languages.)

​On the other hand, it depends how the tet-yud ending are voweled. Is there a chirik (ee) under the yud or a tzereh (eh)? It doesn't say.

But even if the Ladino-speakers pronounced it with a tzereh under the yud, making the pronunciation "zheenteh," it still isn't how the Spanish gente is pronounced. 

Yet it would make sense to transliterate ג'ינטי as gente.

But in doing so, you would lose the original Ladino pronunciation.

Once you do that (and if you do that throughout), it's not really Ladino anymore.

Likewise, the Spanish que (than, that) is pronounced "keh."

Ladino spells it קי.

Is that pronounced "keh" or "kee"?

I'm not sure, but if it's "kee," then you couldn't spell it que, right?

Other words like ella (her), which is pronounced "eyah" or "ayah," are spelled phonetically in Hebrew-scripted Ladino: אייא

​Likewise, there are words like:

This was likely pronounced "pro-vee-zho."

It only takes a bit of research & guessing to figure out this is the Spanish provencho — pronounced "pro-beh-cho." (It means "advantage" or "benefit.")

​But again, how would you spell it according to the Spanish alphabet?

So that's a major complication in coming up with a good Spanish transliteration.

And just for kicks, here is a phrase from the original Ladino Me'am Lo'ez:

And here in Spanish-English transliteration:
"...no tienen hatzlacha keh plantan arvolis e no tienen proveezho de eyos..."

In real Spanish, it would go something like this:
"...no tienen hatslaja que plantan arboles y no tienen provencho de ellos..."

If you know Hebrew, you probably caught the insertion of hatzlacha/success.

(I'm not sure how you transliterate hatzlacha in Spanish; thanks to Hava for her suggestion in the comments.)
​
In English translation:
"...they don't have success with planting trees and they don't benefit from them..."

If you know Spanish & Hebrew, plus you can read Rashi-script, then feel free to try reading the original Me'am Lo'ez here:
https://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=22704&st=&pgnum=1&hilite=

Anyway, I came to the heart-sinking realization that the original Me'am Lo'ez will never be realized in complete translation.

As a complete body of work and one of the most brilliant & encompassing works of Torah scholarship since the Talmud, it's lost to us (though in translation, we retain the majority of it).​

I mourned that fact for a bit, then realized that if Hashem wished us to have a complete translation of the Me'am Lo'ez in at least Hebrew, then we would have it.

Ladino-proficient Torah Sages with the skill necessary to translate into Hebrew existed in the centuries since the publication of the Me'am Lo'ez.

Yet it never happened until 1967.

​And whether it was for the English-speaking audience or the Hebrew-speaking audience, knowledgeable rabbis agreed that at least some parts of it must be omitted.

So I took comfort in the fact that we received exactly what Hashem wanted us to receive from the Me'am Lo'ez.

And regardless of any omissions, the translations of the Me'am Lo'ez provide us with a wealth of Torah knowledge & compelling reading for our times—and refreshing sustenance for our souls.

Couldn't stop thinking about this week's parsha (Ki Tetzei) and how much Rav Miller emphasized the all-important idea of tzelem Elokim (God's Divine Image on a person's face) and how taking that idea to heart could transform society (link).

In addition, this parsha mentions kidnapping with the intent to enslave — the Torah calls for the death penalty in response to such a crime.

Human trafficking and especially child trafficking made waves in the media over the past couple of years...despite how trafficking has been going on for a very long time prior to all the publicity.

Trafficking is a form of kidnapping. Sometimes the victims are actually kidnapped, sometimes they are deceived into going with their captors. And the enslavement that follows is horrific.

Yet think of a world in which everyone recognized the tzelem Elokim of the other. 

You wouldn't have human trafficking.

You wouldn't have kidnappings, especially of children, which so often end in the abuse, enslavement, and even murder of the child.

In recognizing the Divine Image imprinted on the other person, which includes the spirit of life breathed into each person by Hashem (with the infinite potential that implies), others wouldn't seek to exploit and harm people.

​You wouldn't have abortion or euthanasia either.

​Recently, I needed to wait in line to buy my 5-year-old his first bus card.

For some reason, it ended up being a looooong wait.

While stifling my increasing irritability and trying to reframe the situation ("Hashem WANTS me waiting here interminably; it's the best thing that could happen to me right now!"), a little Down's syndrome girl suddenly swept into the room with her mother close behind her.

The little girl looked happy & interested to be there. When she turned, she gave me the most beautiful smile.

All in all, the experience was like a beautiful light sweeping into the room.

We know that most mentally disabled people possess lofty souls that do not need regular abilities & mitzvot to complete their soul rectifications, so they are born without such abilities or obligations. 

As children, these people are exceptionally pure & innocent (even as they can also be very difficult to raise).

I've seen a lot of beautiful smiles, but this little girl's smile struck me in the most beautiful way.

I NEEDED that smile.

Who else could have given it?

For a variety of reasons, these people serve a very real purpose in society.

A few years ago, I saw a video of the little boy born without a brain (he just had a brain stem). I think he didn't have much of a skull either.

The light glowing from his face fascinated me.

Without a brain, he wasn't remotely functional. But he looked so beautiful — and he glowed.

This made me realize I was seeing his tzelem Elokim which, due to his purity and inability to see or hear the grossness of This World, was particularly prominent & visible on his face.

Even more surprising, his parents & grandmother loved him so much, despite all the work he made for them — a situation made even more grueling by their obvious lack of finances.

I remember his grandmother with her dyed red hair, sporting a bandanna. She spoke so lovingly of him. She and his parents wanted so much for him to continue living.

His existence, helpless & flawed as it was, enhanced his family's life so much.

We need such people in our world.

Who says they should be aborted?

Or even, as some elite intellectuals suggest, be "euthanized" after their birth?

It's not easy dealing with mental or physical disabilities (and their caretakers deserve our support: practically, emotionally, and financially), but that's part of the reason why WE benefit from them: We need to stretch ourselves to meet their needs.

Disabled people are the real givers.

But without the recognition of tzelem Elokim, it's impossible to see that truth.

Immoral values come disguised as "compassion."

Even the word "liberal" conjures up images of "freedom" & "liberty."

Abortion advocates promote their cause using the language of compassion.

Nowadays, parents who DON'T abort disabled children are called "cruel." 

"Compassionate" liberals feel that killing a flawed baby is a kindness to the child, preventing the child from suffering.

(They often don't suffer anyway. But regardless, avoidance of suffering is not usually a legitimate reason to commit either suicide or homicide.)

​Today, so many people do not receive the compassion & support they need.

People in vulnerable situations (like the elderly or disabled or the disadvantaged) find themselves judged or ignored or exploited or abused.

Racism has become a major topic today, but without tzelem Elokim, it's hardly worth addressing.

Accusations of racism are lobbed by racists themselves in order to browbeat others to bow to their will.

We face the irrational belief that only white people can be considered racist; all non-white racists are simply carrying out justice or taking reparations for slavery.

However, because most black Americans contain so much Native American or white genetics, the question becomes: Should they give reparations to themselves?

​Furthermore, other black Americans are recent immigrants (or the children of) and never enslaved by white people in America.

And the fact that black people in the American South owned black slaves too? Ignored.

Who owes who?

But with the concept of tzelem Elokim, you wouldn't have racism or human rights abuses.

♪ "Imagine all the people embracing the tzelem Elokim..." ♫

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Ki Tetzei: In His Image, we learn that for crimes in which the punishment is stoning, the body must afterwards be hung on a tree as an example to deter potential sinners of this type.

​Yet the Torah immediately warns us not to leave the dead sinner hanging overnight.

Why?

Because although he was guilty beyond any doubt, he is a human being created with tzelem Elokim (Hashem's Divine Image), and it is therefore disrespectful to leave this Divine Image hanging wantonly.

This is a powerful lesson.

Even though this human being sinned to the point that his life was no longer worth living, he still possesses a Divine Image.

This is also why, in the aftermath of even the most savage terror attack, Zaka (Jewish volunteers who work to identify & preserve dead bodies and their parts — along with providing life-saving first aid to the survivors) does not mutilate or abuse the dead body of the terrorist.

Certainly, the body of the evil terrorist deserves no respect or consideration.

Yet they cover his body out of respect for Hashem's Divine Image.

It's all for the honor of Hashem. The beastly terrorist himself isn't taken into consideration at all.

Our faces do not literately resemble Hashem. It's holy alliteration, but stated in such a way that we must take it to heart, both literally & figuratively.

​Rav Miller recalls that the Alter of Slabodka spoke for 40 years about the concept of tzelem Elokim.

​In fact, on page 7, there's an amusing story of how the Alter's last words to his talmidim upon traveling away were about tzelem Elokim.

​That was the final message he wanted to leave for his talmidim.

The idea of tzelem Elokim is a major reason why we wash our face in the morning.

It's out of respect for our Creator.

Rav Miller even recommends pleasantly telling our children in the morning, "Wash your tzelem Elokim" as a way of telling them to wash their face.

This is a natural way to pass on that idea and generate the concept of mitzvah with such a simple act.

​On page 8, Rav Miller offers a beautiful & compelling description of the human face, any human face anywhere in the world.

To go deeper, Rav Miller describes how Hashem blew the nishmat chayim (the breath of life) via the nostrils — an opening in the human face.

Hashem didn't do this for animals; only human beings.

Therefore, this life-giving vitality is also part of our tzelem Elokim.

Because Hashem's Essence is Infinite, His Qualities are also Infinite.

Therefore, we absorbed certain infinite qualities that entered us when Hashem blew His Breath into our face.

​This means, says Rav Miller (page 9):

Being made with tzelem Elokim means that, theoretically, we innately possess the potential for innate nobility, wisdom, glory, and perfection.

Even though it's impossible for most people to achieve such levels in one lifetime, the potential is still there.

The innate ability exists.

Today, so many people feel bad about themselves, described as suffering from "toxic shame."

On the flip side of that coin, many people perceive themselves as a higher form of animal and act accordingly — while encouraging others to act accordingly too.

The popular yet incorrect idea of genetic predeterminism (countered by the real science of epigenics, which states that we activate or deactivate our genes) also joins the human-as-a-higher-animal belief.

But tzelem Elokim shatters the blatant falsehood of these animal-oriented views.

​Far from being mere evolved animals, we possess something of the Divine & Infinite.

Rather than being innately defective or bad, we possess something Godly & Good; we are imbued with infinite Godly potential.

Because this idea is so TRUE, and therefore so motivating & inspiring, NASA, governments, and many scientists (particularly evolutionists) use every weapon available to battle against the idea of tzelem Elokim.

(Rav Miller details this on page 10.)

Just think of how well humanity would behave if everyone internalized the concept of tzelem Elokim.

Life would be beautiful.

​People would feel compelled to treat others with respect.

The psychology of self-improvement would be based on morality and getting in touch with one's innate Godliness (rather than "how I can be richer, more socially & financially successful, physically healthier, enjoy myself more, feel more comfortable, and meet my own needs").

Certainly, we would be physically healthier, but not as the Greek ideal.

We would cultivate healthy eating habits for spiritual reasons, out of respect for our tzelem Elokim, and not to conform to the latest trends of beauty.

Likewise, in the 6 years Rav Miller spent in the Slabodka Yeshivah in Lithuanian in the 1930s, he never heard a member of the Slabodka yeshivah utter the word "shaigetz."

(You can see more about that here: What is a Clean Tongue?)

Most people don't know the root of the word, but it comes from the Hebrew word for sheketz — abomination.

And even though many Lithuanian gentiles behaved abominably (both against each other & against the Jews), those of the Slabodka yeshivah refused to utter shaigetz because (page 11):

But it's human nature (ESPECIALLY today!) to judge others by unimportant aspects.

A person's face, body, smell, clothes, hair — that's not focusing on the tzelem Elokim.

On page 13, Rav Miller offers practical tips for re-orienting your mind toward the Truth.

Look at a person and think: "That face is an image of Hashem."

Repeat this often.

In other lectures, Rav Miller also recommends gazing at your spouse's face & thinking: "I am now looking at the tzelem Elokim."

This is a simple 2-second act that reaps profound results.

You can change your whole way of relating to other people just by doing this.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Shoftim: The Jewish King, we hear about how originally, other nations always lived under a monarchy.

Because they NEEDED to. Otherwise, their societies would devolve into a "might makes right" situation, like how you see in many Third World nations today.

But Am Yisrael didn't need that.

Am Yisrael dwelled in awareness of Hashem, which gave them a conscience & a desire to be good & do good.

Rav Miller notes that monarchy is actually better than democracy.

Especially if you're American and you grew up with pride about having thrown off the rule of the British monarchy in order to be truly free, the notion of democracy being the lesser option sounds blasphemous.

But not long ago, I read an article about the advantages of monarchy over democracy (along with historical examples), and I had to admit that it made sense.

Certainly, if the king is awful (though Rav Miller notes that you can have an awful President too) or if you end up ruled by foreigners, then that stinks. (England sometimes found itself ruled by foreigners because with foreign marriages and education, they occasionally ended up with a ruler who was more French or German than British — to the point that the ruler of England couldn't even speak English well.)

Yet the benefits of a decent monarchy outweigh those of a democracy.

This quote sums it up:

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what they are going to have for lunch."

We saw this in Kenya, when a pro-democracy candidate ran against a pro-Sharia candidate (before his Presidency, Obama went to Kenya to promote the pro-Sharia candidate), and when the pro-democracy candidate won, the pro-Sharia voters went on the rampage and burned hundreds of pro-democracy voters (men, women, and children) in churches.

​There was no higher authority to stop them.

So much for democracy.

We see that today in the US, when people with loose morals comprise the majority of voters and nearly all the mainstream (and very influential) media.

A candidate with the most excellent record as a governor could not win a US election today if he (or she!) ran on a pro-life, pro-free market, pro-marriage, pro-family, pro-filtered immigration ticket.

Imagine a candidate ran on the platform of encouraging abstinence before marriage.

Waiting for marriage would improve society across the board.

Suicide & depression would go down. A great deal of juvenile delinquency would simply disappear. Abortion clinics would close. The amount of people living under the poverty line would shrink dramatically. 

Drugs, drinking, crime — we would see a tremendous decrease in these activities.

Yet we all know that anyone who ran on such a platform would be laughed out of the running. Despite all the studies, stats, anecdotal evidence, and common sense to back him up, he would never make it.

Even religious conservatives today feel they cannot advocate abstinence, so they advocate contraception instead.

Society has degenerated to where even the religious conservatives feel they cannot promote this issue.

A wolfish majority with a lamby minority wishes to vote on their next meal.

We also see this by how Mitt Romney lost by upholding traditional values and behaving like a decent guy, including both treating & speaking about his competitor (Obama) with courtesy — a courtesy which was not only not returned, but trampled.

We see this with Donald Trump, who is personally very liberal on social issues, but ran on a slightly more conservative ideology than his competitor, and only won by a narrow margin while being raked across the coals by the media throughout his campaign and has continued to be scoured (whether he does right or wrong) ever since.

I'm certain as to who's going to win this next election, and it won't be Donald Trump.

In Hebrew, the word translated as "king" (melech) means the one is the most capable of ruling the people, not just the one who managed to seize & hold power.

(On page 6, Rav Miller provides an amusing summary of the origin of Britain's royal family.)

Back in Judges, Am Yisrael wished to appoint the great Shofet Gidon as their king. They wanted this out of gratitude for all Gidon had done for them.

But Gidon noted they already had a King (Hashem), and with that, he humbly rejected the offer and Am Yisrael continued as they were: a holy Nation led by Hashem with no human king.

But as the bitachon (trust) of the people dimmed, the need for a melech arose.

And so they got one.

But as we know, that didn't end so well down the line, so now we're waiting for Melech HaMashiach to help us accept Hashem's Kingship over the world.

​On pages 11-13, Rav Miller discusses the songs of the wild goose & the domesticated goose in Perek Shirah.

He makes the striking observation that from the time it hatches out of its egg, the domesticated goose sees its owner as a generous & kind-hearted man.

This man makes sure the goose's shelter stays strong & protective. He feeds the goose generously. He often talks to the geese is a cheerful manner.

Little does the goose know that all this exists ONLY for the finale: the slaughter of the goose.

Everything the owner does for the goose exists to make the goose a tasty meal & maybe a nice feather pillow.

If this isn't an excellent parable for what's going on with the Western world today, then I don't know what is.

All those nice government officials giving us free stuff...we will vote for the candidate who promises us the most free stuff!

If an official doles out free stuff so generously & smiles so nicely as he speaks, then he must be a very good-hearted person!

What other reason could he have for being so generous & smiley?​

​Hmmm...

Humble words from a great Jew (Rav Miller on page 14):

On page 14, Rav Miller recalls when she shidduch process got stuck for one of his children.

They invested lots of effort, but nothing happened. Nothing even moved.

Then they received a suggestion from an unexpected corner, that ended up being The One.

(See? These things happen to big & important people too.)

And while we must feel & express gratitude toward people who help us, we must not forget to credit HASHEM overall.

Whether or not they succeed is decided by Hashem.

When we put our trust in people, we make a big mistake.

For example, the mostly forgotten President Calvin Coolidge (1923-1929) was probably one of America's best Presidents.

He was also a highly moral person.

He actually cleaned out the swamp (by ousting corrupt officials & installing decent men & refusing to employ any Klansmen); Coolidge improved rights for black people, Native Americans, and working women & children (without BLM or any other group of banshees screaming at him & rioting — just out of his own sense of fairness); he lowered taxes.

He appreciated Jews & Judaism, and was pro-Israel long before the State existed.

Here's a leader we can trust!

Yet he was the President who signed the 1924 Immigration Restriction Act that ended up blocking Europe's Jews from escaping to American during the Holocaust.

He had no idea of that act's ultimate effect, of course. Otherwise, he wouldn't have signed it.

(You can see more about that topic here: How We Should Really be Responding to Our Politicians.)

​But he did.

And that's just one example of why we can't trust people, even if they're good.

Everything comes from Hashem. 

​For our own best interests, we must turn to Him.

Practical tips:

Rav Miller recommends shouting out loud (but not where people will hear & feel unnerved): 

"HASHEM MELECH!!!"

God is King.

He says that as you walk down the street, you can think "Hashem Melech."

That's a tremendously good thing to do.

You can say it, especially if you're wearing a mask and no one can see your mouth moving.

If you're in a very noisy place, like under a city bridge where no one can see or hear you, you can even shout it at the top of your lungs.

And that's a very good 2-second act of self-improvement that can reap a lot of blessing.

In the dvar Torah for Parshat Re'eh: A Nation of Volunteers, Rav Avigdor Miller discusses the politically incorrect scenario of the Ihr Hanidachat — the idol-worshiping city commanded to be destroyed by fellow Jews.

It's just supposed to be left there as a burned & ruined heap.

No one is allowed to salvage anything from this punished city, not even the most innocent item wholly free of idolatry.

​This is because in order to be internally liberated from tumah (spiritual impurity), one must make a total separation from it.

On pages 5-7, Rav Miller illustrates the importance of going beyond the letter of the law by delving into a sugya in Masechet Sukkot on shaking the lulav.

​Then he gives the example of a child who wishes to please his parent.

If the child notices something that the parent desires, and the child has the means & abilities to give or perform it for the parent, then a devoted child will certainly do so.

And that's how we should behave with Hashem.

On pages 9-13, Rav Miller sings the praises of Am Yisrael by detailing how far we go to serve Hashem beyond the letter of the law.

We could settle for the law as described in the basic text. (Rav Miller describes a bit what Judaism would be like without all the rabbinical law, and page 9 was a shocker. We are definitely richer for all the Talmud has to offer.)

Throughout history, we've been ridiculed for this.

Rav Miller mentions the ridicule of the Tzaddokim (Sadducees), the followers of the gospels, and the Reform movement.

Those were the big ones that still affect us today.

And the ancients also felt Am Yisrael took things too far. After all, many felt fine about us serving Hashem. But why couldn't we worship their gods and kings too?

This has been & will continue to be a criticism of us until Mashiach comes and the Truth is revealed.

And where are these groups today?

So many of our critics disappeared over time.

The Saducees & Karaites may exist in spirit to an extent, but these groups no longer exist by those names as a threat to us.

The very powerful empires that spanned the globe no longer exist.

Like David Hamelech said in Tehillim 102:27, the other nations go lost while Hashem endures. They get all ratty & disintegrate like a garment. Sure, you can patch up a garment to a certain extent. But at some point, it is simply no longer viable. And then it is used as a rag while another garment comes to take its place. At some point, it is simply cast out.

(Rashi's interpretation is interesting in that he describes it as a garment being turned inside out as it is removed. Don't we see this happening now? Nations are being turned inside-out on their way out.)

Rav Miller then notes that in order to endure today's storm winds of change, one must push forward into the wind.

​If you try to stand straight or even lean back the tiniest bit, the wind will blow you down.

​This is a major reason why in some ways to some people, certain aspects of Torah Judaism seem more extreme than they were at one time.

(It's definitely not the only reason, but it is a major one.)

While I'll always disagree with anyone who claims that the movies or radio of our grandparents' times were innocent (Rav Miller does NOT say they were innocent, BTW), there was significantly less filth & immoral brainwashing & propaganda than there is today.

Much of radio & all of the silver screen was co-opted from its inception by pervs & losers, and they snuck in a lot of their degenerate values. But society & their sponsors simply did not allow them to wreak the havoc they wreak now.

So while at one time, even seriously frum homes hosted a radio & the main newspaper of their city...but today, they can't.

And that's the real way to "change with the times."

We need to push back against the storm winds.

Perhaps this is one reason why the emphasis on simcha & gratitude has become such a focus in recent years.

In a variety of doublespeak & images & stories, our current cultural climate screams at us: DESPAIR! DESPAIR! DESPAIR!

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! DO WHAT WE WANT YOU TO DO!

And we scream back: MITZVAH GADOLAH L'HIYOT B'SIMCHA TAMID — IT'S A GREAT MITZVAH TO ALWAYS BE HAPPY!

And we shout: HALLELUHU — PRAISE HIM! And we say TODAH — THANK YOU, HASHEM!

And yes, the winds may knock us flat on our faces, leaving us to peel ourselves off all the gravel & schmutz.

But we still try.

​And that's what counts.

Growing up secular, I often heard the backhanded praise of the Torah being "a great history book!"

As I became frum, I heard the opposite refrain from people who actually knew the truth: "The Torah isn't a history book."

They said this to explain why certain things either weren't mentioned or to explain confusing chronology, and so on.

The Torah comes to teach; that is its entire purpose & hinted at in its name: Torah, coming from the root horah — teach.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshas Eikev 3 – One Nation In The World, Rav Miller makes this same point: The Torah isn't about world history (although you can find a lot of interesting anthropological historical insights in it).

As Rav Miller notes, the Torah relates to even the most powerful, influential, and advanced cultures of its time as if they're history's sidebar.

​(And if you really think about, they really are history's sidebar.)

Tremendous art, literature, music, architecture, innovations, and science came out of the cultures, some preserved in a way that allowed them to be discovered millennia afterwards.

Yet you don't hear much about them in the Torah.
​
The Torah starts with Beresheit bara Elokim et hashamayim v'et ha'aretz — and Rashi states the verse's entire purpose is to make it clear that reisheit (the main priority, so to speak) is Yisrael.

In other words, the universe was created with Am Yisrael in mind.

To foster a loyal group of humans dedicated to holiness & elevation:

That's the purpose of Creation.

Then Rav Miller hones in on an excellent point that often gets lost among Edomite culture: Quality holds vastly more importance than quantity.

Throughout the Torah, it's the smallness that merits greatness:

• Har Sinai was the smaller mountain
• David Hamelech was the youngest brother
• Gidon was the youngest brother in the smallest family in the smallest Tribe (Menashe) Moshe Rabbeinu was the youngest brother 

We see people despised or rejected (David Hamelech, Yiftach, Leah Imeinu, etc.) attaining greatness beyond anyone's expectation.

Only one person, Noach, was worth saving his family & continuing humanity.

Am Yisrael really started with a childless couple (Avraham & Sara) living in a tent in the desert.

Even today, Judaism focuses so much on baby-steps and building yourself by one minuscule success at a time. (This is evidenced in what our truly great people advise us regarding self-improvement.)

Our task is to bring Hashem into the physical world & elevate the mundane.

Yet we've always needed to strain against the current to accomplish this because much of the surrounding world opposes everything Yisrael stands for.

​Prophetically, Rav Miller predicted that one day, people would try to remove "In God we trust" from its coins.

In 2006, someone tried to challenge the inscription of "In God we trust," desiring to strike it from US money.

In 2007, the same person tried to eliminate "under God" ("one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty & justice for all") from  the Pledge of Allegiance.

Rav Miller certainly saw which way the wind was blowing.

On pages 8-10, Rav Miller takes us on a shortcut journey through history, literature, and culture to show us how Edom portrays Jews in the worst way.

On page 9, he describes the treatment of the media regarding the chassidic Jews of Williamsburg, who do not stand idly by the blood of their fellow Jew when that Jew is gashed & mugged: Homeless Man Attacked by Chassidish Mob!

Oh yes...this oh-so pitiable homeless man cut a Jew's face with a razor & snatched the Jew's wallet.

It sounds exactly like what the media does regarding Israel: Palestinian Driver Shot by Israeli Soldier! 

(Only they fail to mention that the driver was a rampaging terrorist who turned his car into a weapon against pedestrians.)

And he makes excellent points about the hypocrisy of nations ignoring truly horrific violations of human rights around the world and within modern countries in order to focus on demonizing Jews.

It's also very worthwhile to read what Rav Miller said about self-hating Jews on page 11.

Rav Miller acknowledges that people accuse him all the time of whitewashing the Jewish people.

​Yet Rav Miller insists that the non-Jewish societies aren't any better.

Several posts on this blog have discussed this.

I grew up in non-Jewish/secular Jewish America & there is so much gunk under the surface.

And yes, I'm very well aware of the problems within frum society, but there are so many frum people going above & beyond to heal the problems.

Yes, there are bad people and useless "help" in the frum community.

But in secular society, I never saw the self-criticism and passion to help that I saw in frum society.

And there are a lot of effective frum people who help.

And the same frum people who dedicate their lives to helping fellow Jews, even with the worst & thorniest problems, never give themselves credit for being the power of good that they are.

Furthermore, these same people constantly exhort us to improve ourselves and to be kinder to each other (which is a good thing).

We have such high expectations for ourselves that we focus on our problems & flaws to the point that we feel like we're worse than our surrounding societies.

I've personally heard/read of very frum people exhorting the frum world to look to the non-Jewish world as an example of how to handle our worst issues.

Utilizing their resources is fine; we gratefully support & utilize non-Jewish police services, fire departments, hospitals, etc.

But to use the non-Jewish world as an EXAMPLE of what to do?

No.

No, no, no, no.

A lot of frum people do not know what's actually going on in the non-Jewish/secular world because they, baruch Hashem, were never immersed in it.

And even the stuff frum people read in popular non-fiction or the newspapers, they don't necessarily believe it's as bad or as common as it actually is.

Why?

Because it doesn't LOOK that way on the outside or at work with your non-Jewish/secular co-workers.

Yes, the non-Jewish society promotes itself by showing you all the organizations and hotlines and laws it has to protect/assist people, but then you notice that a lot of it doesn't actually work.

(Please note: I did NOT say it NEVER works EVER. But it does not work as well or as often as the culture would like you to believe.)

Or people still don't feel they can get the help they need. 

Despite all the "freedoms" and therapies and self-help options available, and despite the social acceptance of these, we see that society is actually worsening and even writhing in pain & despair.

​It's not working.

We see this in how self-destructive behavior (eating disorders, drug addiction, gaming addiction, alcoholism, cutting, suicide, etc.) rose along with the rise of secular liberalism.

And the explosion of hatred! Both hatred of others & hatred of self as exemplified through murder & suicide...

It's a hate-filled society. (Peace 'n' love, man!)

Some USA stats (source):

• Suicide in the #1 cause of death for Native American girls ages 10-19.

(Yes, you unfortunately read that correctly. If you hear about the death of a 10-year-old Native American girl, she probably did it to herself. Yet do you EVER hear any exhortations to help them?)

• Murder by another black male is the #1 cause of death for black males ages 15-34.

And for any BLM sympathizers: Out of every 65 black male deaths, 60 are caused by another black male.

Guess how many black deaths out of 65 are caused by a police officer?

One.

• Suicide is the #1 cause of death among Far East Asian males ages 20-24.

This is from a group considered successful by society. So why are they killing themselves more than almost any other? 

• Suicide is the #2 cause of death among so-called privileged white males ages 15-19.

25% of all white male deaths in this age-range are caused by their own hand. Someone had better tell them they're privileged because they don't seem to know!

All this self-destructive behavior clearly shows a society in steep decline.

And where are all the organizations & fanfare?

Did you know that suicide is the leading cause of death among Native American females ages 10-19, Far East Asian males 20-24, and the second leading cause of death among white males 15-19?

Most people do not know this.

If you did know this, did you hear it from a mainstream publication or source?

Or did you hear it from an alternative source or need to do your homework to discover this?

​And if so, how often did you ever hear it discussed?

Tragically, that's a sign that no one really cares about that suffering & those deaths.

Anyway, this is clearly not a society to emulate, so let's just get to work on ourselves using our own tools.

Here's an important idea from Rav Miller on page 12:

That's good mussar.

It doesn't matter how frum someone looks.

It doesn't matter how full of "good intentions" a non-frum person may appear.

If the Torah attitude isn't there, then phfftt.

​Rav Miller then details (pages 13-14) all the norms in frum society that we take for granted.

Deviants make the news, unfortunately.

So we need to look at our neighbors and inner circles to get renewed enthusiasm about ourselves. 

It's really not about whitewashing things.

Chanifah (labeling something is good when it most certainly is NOT) is strictly forbidden by the Torah.

It's about seeking the light in other people.

It's about healing problems & trauma by looking to what is RIGHT to do, and not obsessing only about what is wrong.

It's well-known that when people raised dysfunctionally ONLY say, "I'll never do what my parents did; that was bad," they don't succeed as well in overcoming their negative programming.

It's the ones who say, "I won't do the bad things my parents did; I'll do this-and-such good thing instead! I want to emulate the good parents I see!" — those are the ones who often end up overcoming a lot of dysfunction. 

Focusing so intently on what's wrong & how bad it is doesn't help to unmire people.

Focusing on what CAN be done & how we SHOULD behave reaps much juicier fruits.

It's about being our best according to Hashem's standards & value system.

You can also see Rav Avigdor Miller's great Tisha B'Av hitorerut here:
Tisha B'Av: Mourning for Our Perfection

Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat V'Etchanan: Honor Thy Parents contains a wealth of information on how to honor your parents, and inspiration for feeling the necessary gratitude.

But what jumped out at me was a brief comment Rav Miller made regarding the shift he made over the years of giving the class.

On page 8, Rav Miller notes that initially, his lecture's attendees consisted of the adult children of non-frum parents.

Therefore, he couldn't do more than mention the mitzvah of honoring parents because "who knows what their parent will tell them to do?"

Honoring non-frum parents is a thorny task and sincere baalei teshuvah find themselves with many questions to maneuver this minefield.

Sure, some secular parents go out of their way to accommodate their frum children and grandchildren, making it much easier to honor them.

But others are more of a challenge.

Anyway, despite the enormous importance of this mitzvah and Rav Miller's vast knowledge of it, he decided it was too much of a stumbling block for that particular group, so he focused on other aspects of Torah.

This is the sign of a real chacham (wise man) & someone who really cares.

Rav Miller made himself aware of the composition of this particular audience & tailored his message to best suit their needs.​

In today's world, Rav Miller notes that many people delete their filial gratitude with ideas like, "I didn't ask to be born!"

In recent years, abortion is increasingly portrayed as an act of compassion upon the unborn child who may be born into a difficult situation.

In the Eighties, syndicated advice columns published letters from people who described a traumatic childhood and concluded with the heartfelt wish that their parents had aborted them.

Unfortunately, those testimonies were compelling propaganda for my generation. 

Rav Miller notes that many parents also capitulate to that idea ("I didn't ask to be born!"), as if they owe their children.

It's true that parents should bring up their children well — and this means raising them in a way that gains them the best Olam Haba possible.

Also, every soul comes into the world with certain tikkun (rectifications) to complete.

As the Pele Yoetz advises, training children to focus on what makes Hashem happy must be a major part of chinuch.

​So if a parent "owes" a child something, it's guiding them on the path of being a joyful Jew.

​("Jew" meaning someone fully committed to Torah & mitzvot, not just a slap-happy assimilationist.)​ 

In line with his approach of greatness via baby-steps, Rav Miller recommends saying the 3 verses at the end of Shemoneh Esrei with feeling. (See page 13.)

These verses plead with Hashem to bring back the Beit Hamikdash so we can serve him like days of old.

Try your best to say it with a pang in your heart.

On pages 14-15, Rav Miller brings the times of the Beit Hamikdash to life in colorful detail — essential reading before Tisha B'Av!

​On the very last page, Rav Miller offers food for thought regarding whether one should make aliyah to Eretz Yisrael.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Devarim: The Pursuit of Happiness, we learn a shocking truth:

The happiest phase for Am Yisrael was our time spent in the Midbar.

But how can that be?

​Right in the main text of the Torah, we read about how Am Yisrael complained about the lack of certain vegetables, Nile perch fish, and quail.

Am Yisrael didn't even have proper homes; they lived in tents because of constantly being on the move.

Also, Hashem even states that he led Am Yisrael in the Midbar for 40 years l'ma'an anotcha — to afflict you.

Yet Hashem also states: "lo chasarta davar — you didn't lack a thing."

How can that be?

With everything that happened, how can it be that Am Yisrael didn't lack a thing and from this, Rav Miller derives this as the happiest time for Am Yisrael?

In a nutshell, the answer on page 5 is:

In the Midbar, Am Yisrael had all the clothing they needed, all the food they needed, a place to live, peace... (Remember, the Cloud Pillar paved the way smooth for them, laundered their clothes, kept out enemy armies, and protected them from vipers & scorpions.)

As far as actual NEED went, Am Yisrael truly lacked nothing.

Rav Miller makes the point that wealthy people tend to commit suicide more than poor people.

I also noticed that when I was a young adult, I learned so much about true generosity from people with less money. The less people had, the more generous they were with what they did have.

Wealthier people tended to be the stingiest and most likely to feel that they didn't have enough. (Not everyone, but it's pretty common.)

I knew someone who had a million dollars CASH in the bank (not just assets, but actual cash), and she always talked as if she were on the brink of financial disaster.

Via an acquaintance of my husband, we ended up spending a couple of Shabbos meals with upper-class people in an expensive neighbor in Israel.

They mostly weren't awful people, but I said to myself that I simply could not tolerate another Shabbos meal full of conversations like, "Organic garlic is soooooo expensive" and, of course, the sporadic charedi-bashing spurred on by what they proudly read in the popular English-language newspapers in Israel (even though my husband & I are obviously charedi & sitting right in front of their faces).

It's rare for working-class people to harp on how much things cost, especially things they can't afford anyway, like organic garlic. It also makes for really boring conversation. 

Like: "Organic garlic is soooo expensive."

"Oh, I know! Really."

"I mean, I looked at the price of the organic garlic and I could not believe it."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"And the organic parsley..."

Snoooooooooorrrrrrre.

​Of course you're going to be unhappy if the price of organic garlic upsets you so much.

​Also, people who don't NEED to work really do get themselves into more trouble.

And it's not just work either.

Rabbi Avraham Twerski told of a young alcoholic man who recalled that his only period of sobriety occurred when he needed to move in with an elderly aunt and take care of her.

​He ran errands and did her shopping and a whole lot more, and because she depended on him, he couldn't allow himself to drink during those months.

Needless to say, some addicts will still allow themselves to use (and abuse) in such a situation.

But for many people, having responsibility influences them positively.

A high school classmate quit smoking when he discovered that smoking damages one's singing ability (both the quality of voice & the ability to power the voice). He learned that the body's physical craving for tobacco only lasted for 3 days, and any craving after that was purely psychological. So he decided he just needed to pull through the initial 3 days, and from then on, he'd be fine.

And he never smoked again.

People involved in sports also tend to avoid major life mistakes, like addictions and so forth. 

I noticed that anyone with goals (a form of responsibility to oneself, at least) tended to behave better.

It's a generalization, of course, so it's not ALWAYS true. But it's OFTEN true.

But the more you have materialistically, the less you have in a sense.

For example, my husband & I worked for an American community comprising extremely wealthy Jews (mostly secular or traditional at most) and around 10 years later, we discovered that around half the couples had divorced in the meantime.

Going even more extreme: If you've ever known secular/non-Jewish people who grew up with real wealth, it's shocking to see how they degrade themselves.

First of all, they're incredibly promiscuous. They tend not to advertise it, but it's like they have no boundaries or morality in that area.

Secondly, they get so into hard drugs — because they can afford and their wealth softens the consequences for them.

For example, one girl told me about how she and other super-wealthy friends rented a penthouse, which they basically converted into an upper-class heroin den.

They sat around shooting themselves up, then passing out, then doing it all over again.

An expensive pet meandered about, soiling & relieving itself all over the lovely carpet, yet they were all too wasted to care.

So you had these young uppercrust elites passed out on the carpet, their faces not far from animal droppings.

How glamorous! (Not.)

Even stranger & more disturbing, she felt no shame about this. She thought it was funny.

Yet if I'd ever participated in something so disgusting, I'd be embarrassed to tell people.

Why would I want people to know that I'm perfectly fine with injecting illegal hard drugs into my veins and then lying passed out in what amounts to an animal's bathroom?

But these people are so out-of-touch & entrenched in their own elitism, they think that if they do it, then that alone confers legitimacy onto the behavior — for THEM, anyway. Like, the mere fact that THEY do it makes it okay.

Also, in Great Britain, you have young people with actual titles (Lord So-and-So or Lady So-and-So), and quite a few of them indulge in such crass drug-fueled behavior. But it's hidden more because of their spiffy connections. 

​And back to America: You see that increased welfare (which allows recipients to buy bakery cakes, steak, shrimp, etc.) for people who manage to obtain expensive jewelry and cell phones, cable TV, plus whatever clothes are in style.

AND if they're the "right" color or ethnicity, universities lower their academic standards for them. (Meaning, they need not achieve the same scores as white or Far East Asian applicants), plus they get more generous scholarships allowing them to pay less or even nothing for their higher education.

Yet theft & violence run rampant in these same communities, while only a minority of them take advantage of the advancement-assistance offered them.

They've also mostly thrown marriage out the window, with hardly any babies being born to married couples and children hardly knowing their fathers, which keeps these mothers & children in the low-income bracket.

I honestly don't know if it's possible to achieve a better outcome by withdrawing benefits because the work ethic simply no longer exists and we see that many feel entitled to resort to violence & looting to get what they desire when feeling deprived.

But the situation was originally created by rewarding people who aren't working or who aren't living responsibly (like having children out of wedlock with no financial support). 

A friend who grew up on welfare (in a community where welfare was the norm) remembers the dirty looks she got from cashiers when she paid for her Twinkies with a welfare check.

Because she was in her early teens & didn't understand how the welfare system was funded, she was just like, "What? What's your problem?"

Only later did she realize that struggling people working hard for their own income really resent their taxes paying for Twinkies.

​In contrast, you can talk to old-time Yerushalmis who remember when breakfast consisted of ONE piece of bread and ONE piece of cheese — and they felt satisfied!

Shabbos night meal considered of ONE piece of gefilte fish, ONE piece of chicken, ONE piece of kugel, some tomato-cucumber salad...and maybe that was it.

But even if you had more, it wasn't much more.

And they tell you they were satisfied!

My husband (who was born in Morocco and raised in Eretz Yisrael) remembers taking a tomato-margarine sandwich on white bread to school every day.

Everyone did that.

The white spreadable cheese so popular in Eretz Yisrael today was too expensive.

So was butter.

My husband can't remember why mayonnaise, hummus, or techina weren't options, but they weren't.

Just margarine.

He remembers gazing longingly as his teacher snacked on a large red apple — something sold only in "the stores of the rich."

(Yes, a large red apple was a luxury in Eretz Yisrael in the Seventies.)

He was only able to get hold of one himself when he was in his teens.

(It was a big disappointment; he said it didn't taste as amazing as it looked.)

And after all those margarine-tomato sandwiches, you should see how much he enjoys breakfast with white cheese and a cucumber-tomato salad.

When we first got married, I did not understand why he ate what I considered a somewhat pathetic Israeli breakfast while glowing with such pleasure.

​Little did I know...

If you'd grown up with only margarine, you too would enjoy gevinah levanah to the hilt (rather than viewing it as a limp, disappointing version of the luscious, rich American cream cheese — which is how I view Israeli white cheese because I grew up differently).

In his early childhood, my husband's family lacked a washing machine and a stove; they cooked on 2 primus stoves instead.

​(But they did bring their TV with them from Morocco because they thought TVs weren't available here.)

Primus (AKA paraffin) stoves were all the rage in Eretz Yisrael for a time, but I'd never heard of such a thing before.

​Here's a photo:

I really cannot imagine, especially getting Shabbat ready...and especially with all those obligatory Moroccan salads and dips!

But my husband remembers those times as the best (except for the large-red-apple deprivation).

With witty, engaging detail, Rav Miller goes through all the things we should be grateful for:
buttons, pockets, homes, clothing, police with warrants (in Slabodka, Lithuanian, police didn't need warrants to barge into your home), no war, and much more.

On page 12, Rav Miller puts vacation trips and "going out" into perspective:

It's no longer in our mentality to take advantage of quiet or "boring" moments.

And just to be perfectly upfront, I used to take my children out every Sunday in America to a Jewish indoor play area, only a 15-minute drive from our apartment.

Being cooped up an entire day with 2 young active children in my third trimester of my third pregnancy was way too aggravating.

In the indoor play area, I could sit in comfortable air-conditioning without worrying my kids would run off or get lost (like outside in a park). We weren't far from decent restrooms. And it was fun for me to be involved in their play because I could participate or rest as needed.

And they have really good memories of it until today.

But what I think Rav Miller means here is the whole culture of "going out" and engaging in all sorts of activities on a regular basis, which builds up the need to continue doing so.

For example: bowling...

Rav Miller emphasizes how much we must focus on enjoying what we have.

On page 15, he describes the enjoyment of eating an egg.

Rav Miller's son reported that he never heard his father ask Rebbetzin Miller for a certain food or meal.

Whatever she gave him, he ate with appreciation.

On the other hand, I knew a secular man who worked hard in a very prestigious job, and when he came home for dinner, his nose went seriously out of joint if dinner wasn't SUPER hot when served to him.

Meaning, if it was hot, that wasn't good enough. It had to be SUPER hot...

...or else.

(Fortunately, he did teshuvah and became a fairly nice & supportive husband later. See? Sometimes, there's a happy ending.)

But it just goes to show you how entitled some people become.

Yet Torah Judaism opposes any such an attitude of entitlement.

In the Mishkan Shilo magazine for Parshat Mattot-Masei, Rav Reuven Elbaz writes that the tzaddik Rav Ben-Tzion Abba-Shaul taught that when Gemara Ketubot 54b obligates a woman to cook for her husband, it only means:​

Ooh, what a misogynist, paternalistic religion!

​[sarc]

Needless to say, a wife should strive to do more for her husband than feed him boiled potatoes, but the point of Rav Ben-Tzion Abba-Shaul was to encourage profound appreciation & gratitude for any meal a wife serves that consists of anything more than an unsalted potato.

And if you combine the Sephardi talmid chacham's Talmudic interpretation with the Ashkenazi talmid chacham's exquisite descriptions of how good the simplest foods taste, then you have a recipe for enjoying any meal and enhancing shalom bayit.​

It's very worth reading the entire PDF because Rav Miller's descriptions bring these simple pleasures to vibrant life, and truly help with enjoying life more.

He calls this attitude "vitamins of happiness."

It's not easy in our times because we have so many temptations right before our eyes all the time, but the more we work on this, the happier we really are.