Note: Important links below toward end of post.
_____________

One of the most frustrating aspects of Western Esav society is the oh-so pure and caring persona it loves to project while in actuality, it's committing the worst crimes when no one's looking.

Compared to a pig that extends its cloven hoof as a sign of its kashrut, the Esavite pig hides its lack of any cud-chewing apparatus deep inside itself where no one can see.

Likewise, Esav himself piously inquired as to whether salt must be tithed and always served his father with great dedication...yet ambushed and assaulted young brides in deserted fields and showed no respect for human life and even married women addicted to occult worship.

Yes, Esav was sooooo concerned with tithing salt...yet couldn't be bothered to marry a monotheist or raise Jewish children.

Modern countries offer so many services to assist in every need. And yes, there are definitely sincere people who provide concrete help to those who need it. Yet so much else is broken or inconsistent.

Take the justice system, for example. It can condemn an innocent person to prison and let a guilty person go.

Or the foster care system. It's already a given that people who've been through the foster care system as children were likely to have been abused. Foster children are also much more likely to be given prescription drugs (and several kinds of them) to control their behavior, even as kindergartners.

Sometimes, children really do need to be removed from their biological parents. But sometimes, the decision is left to judges and social workers who aren't morally qualified nor possess the wisdom to make such decisions.

In fact, it's always a disturbing experience to meet a dysfunctional person and then discover that this person is a social worker! How can a person with such poor middot and such a warped value system of their own help children and parents in difficult and complicated situations?

And even if a social worker isn't mamash dysfunctional, I've definitely met social workers who displayed excessive self-absorption and the inability to recognize that the people who consulted with them lacked resources to which the social worker had access.

For example, one social worker with a car and an available cooperative husband would advise mothers as if they too had cars and an available cooperative husband...when they didn't. She insisted that they cultivate morning routines which for them meant shlepping around on several buses for at least on hour with a bunch of small children and a twin stroller during rush hour when the buses are crammed to overflowing...all because they lacked a car and an available cooperative husband.

"After all," boasted the social worker, "I do it!"

If the mother pointed out that she didn't have the resources the social worker had, the social worker implied that the mother simply didn't care about her children enough to sacrifice for them.

See what I mean? No brains. No heart, either.

Within the frum community, sometimes a "frum" person screams "Discrimination!" at the authorities simply because they are remorselessly angry at getting caught.

How dare anyone stop them from behaving deplorably and against halacha!

Yet sometimes, there are genuine incidents of discrimination against frum Jews and even a "par-for-course" miscarriage of justice.

Each situations need to be examined individually without knee-jerk reactions of uninformed onlookers who either scream "Discrimination!" or consider court judges on par with the ancient Sanhedrin.

Recently, I was made aware of a situation in England in which a frum couple had their children removed from their home.

How did this come about?

Basically, the mother turned to different services for help in being the best mother she could be. A couple of the children have special needs, which obviously demands a whole different set of skills from the mother. (And please note this family has more than one child born with special needs, which is obviously a huge challenge.) Such a situation also affects both parents on the individual level, for which additional guidance was also sought voluntarily.

As I understand it, both the parents are good decent sincere people who want to give each other and their children the best of themselves...but they needed guidance in doing so due to the unusual challenge of the situation in which they found themselves.

And then these very services that exist supposedly to assist and support families decided to take these frum Jewish children away and dump them into the foster care system to non-Jewish homes.

This is very disturbing, and not only because anyone familiar with the foster care system knows that abuse runs rampant within and that you are placing a child at risk by placing that child within the system.

Needless to say, children are always traumatized when uprooted from their homes, even genuinely abusive homes (which is not the situation in this case). So removing a child from his or her home is not something to be done lightly.

And obviously, placing Jewish children in a situation where they'll be fed non-kosher food and transgress Shabbat is pretty harmful, not to mention the adjustment whenever they would go back to their family of origin.

People who know the couple and know their situation are appalled at what has happened.
(I don't personally know them, but was informed by those who do.)

One of them started a GoFundMe campaign on their behalf to get the children back.

You can see by the size of the donations, the comments, and the fact that many of the donors are willing to use their full name on the donation that people really believe in the truth of the parents' side of things.
https://www.gofundme.com/help-to-get-my-kids-back-home-sha

Here is the family's Tehillim page if you'd like to say Tehillim for them is here:
http://tehilimyahad.com/mr.jsp?r=sNTu3p6HJV

Please remember that the mother initially turned to the services out of her own accord and sincere intentions in order to receive the help they claim to offer.

Then they turned on her and her family.

P.S. You can see how rotten to the core the British social welfare system is because British social workers routinely abandon British girls to Muslim traffickers and "groomers" (the most infamous being the Rotherham scandal, which involved the appalling abuse of at least 1400 minors and evidenced actual collaboration of social workers with the Muslim perps, and among other horrors, covered up the murder of a 17-year-old girl).
This is obviously not a trustworthy system.

Note: Real names are not used in this post. All names are pseudonyms.
_______________

When I was in 8th grade, my friend Jessica confided 2 things to me:

• She had been touched inappropriately by her stepfather (an elder in the Mormon church) since age 12, only to have him tell her when she was 14: “I won’t touch you anymore because now you’re too old for me.” Sick, I know.
• She was anorexic.

 
I encouraged her to tell someone about her stepfather, but she already had. Yet it never went well. For example, when she initially told her mother, Jessica was slapped across the face. (I discovered later from listening to other victims of stepfather-abuse that being slapped across your face by your mother when you tell her what her husband is doing to you is not uncommon.)

Jessica tried telling others, like a young male guidance counselor and the school nurse, but neither did do anything, although I believe the guidance counselor responded with sympathetic words.

(And it wasn’t due to “lack of awareness.” This was the late Eighties and hotlines, organizations, and advice addressing abuse were literally all over TV, newspapers, talk shows, and magazines.)

I felt like maybe her eating disorder and the abuse might be connected.
(Eating disorders are indeed a common response to this kind of abuse.)

The school nurse cheerfully tackled Jessica’s anorexia by having her come to the nurse’s office weekly to weigh Jessica. Even at age 13, I realized that weekly weigh-ins could not help anorexia. Yet the adult nurse seemed not to realize this.

(I found out later that this same nurse used to take girls to get secret abortions during school hours. She genuinely thought she was being supportive and helpful. It was only later that I realized that this is typical of Liberal cowardice and hypocrisy: sporting girls off to get abortions while ignoring criminal sxual abuse and a dangerous eating disorder.)

Jessica also explained that as the oldest (she was the product of her mother’s first marriage and her half-siblings from this second marriage were much younger than Jessica), she was responsible for a lot of household chores.

Washing dishes became a dreaded task because if she broke a dish or cup, she got hit for it. This made her more nervous when she washed the dishes, and her nerves made her clumsier, which meant she dropped something breakable and got hit again. And so on.

Hunched over with a naturally round face and wearing bulky sweaters even on hot days, Jessica didn’t look anorexic. But really, she was becoming dangerously thin.

At one point, Jessica was finally admitted to the hospital and spent time in the special wing for eating disorders being plied with IVs and therapy.

It helped her with the anorexia and she got up to a healthy weight, at which point the hospital released her back to her mother and stepfather.

Please note that everyone Jessica had turned to had been really nice. The nurse was a cheerful spritely older woman. The male guidance counselor was a friendly personable guy who used to walk down the halls of the junior with a smile and a friendly greeting for everyone. The medical staff treating my friend was mostly really nice.

It’s America in the Eighties. Everyone’s really nice! Bright colors and cheerful music is in!

But even people who chose to be in these helping professions that not only call for being “really nice!” and validating feelings, but also sometimes call for courage and virtue…these people ultimately did not and often still do not come through for Jessica and others like her.

Why? Because American culture has developed into a zombie-brain that only wants to feel good, but cares not a darn for actually being good and doing the right thing—especially when doing the right thing is uncomfortable and scary.

Anyway, Jessica and I enter high school. She starts dating a boy from her church community, and he violates her.

(Okay, so there were a lot of Mormons where I grew up and Mormon males are either really awful and like her stepfather OR they’re really good, sort of like really sincere yeshivah bachur types. I think it’s because their religion was founded by a total sicko, but because the surrounding value system of 19th-Century America was pretty good, so they adapted those values as part of their religion even today. So they either embody Joseph Smith or 19th-Century Americans.)

Anyway, I want her to tell and call the police, and am willing to stand by her through the whole ordeal, but she can’t bring herself to do it. These things are notoriously hard to prove and she is anyway feeling beaten down from her home life.

I want him dead, but alas, can’t do a thing about it. It’s very uncomfortable to pass him in the hallway or sit across the room from him in class, knowing what he really is and wishing I could whack him upside the head with a metal pipe. But all I can do is warn other girls with whom I see him flirting not to go out with him or be with him anywhere alone. (L’maaseh, I only needed to this a couple of times.)

Jessica wants to seek out her father. When her parents divorced (when Jessica was age 2), her mother told everyone that she wanted the divorce because she discovered Jessica’s father violated Jessica when Jessica was a baby only a few months old. But Jessica has always felt that this wasn’t true, that such a thing never happened.

Also, by siding so violently with Jessica’s stepfather against Jessica’s accusations, Jessica’s mother made it pretty clear that she doesn’t give a whit about Jessica being abused or violated in any way.

Throughout 9th grade, Jessica is confiding in me and confiding in the high school guidance counselor who is a caring middle-aged woman who is ready to stand by Jessica and encourages Jessica to take legal action against the boy who assaulted her and against her stepfather.

But Jessica isn’t ready yet.

Jessica dates a couple more boys, then stops after they also violate her.

Despite us being close friends, Jessica never said that she’d been asked out or was going out on a date. If I’d known, I’d have tried to intervene.

(This is actually pretty common with survivors of abuse; they have “secret relationships” because that’s what feels normal to them and it doesn’t occur to them to chat with or confide in their friends about these relationships.)

So I would only find out after the fact, with Jessica looking glum and sounding so defeated, and quietly becoming suicidal.

I feel like I’m going crazy from this and am outraged that things like this can just happen with no repercussions. I also talk to the guidance counselor about Jessica and how to help her, but the lady just shakes her head sadly and says no one can do anything until Jessica herself decides to bring charges and testify, and she tells me to just keep on being a supportive friend because that’s what will ultimately help Jessica the most.

Finally, even though I never yell at my friends, I say to Jessica, “Stop dating! Don’t go out with ANYONE! Just stop!” I can see that she’s attracting and being attracted to predators, which again, is a very common result of abuse.

But Jessica just stares at me and I realize that she doesn’t know how to say no. Even to being asked out on a date, she just can’t say no.

So I tell her to just tell everyone she’s not dating right now.  Anyway, Mormons have rules not to date until you sixteen (and then often get married at eighteen), so this should be okay. But she looks like I’m asking her to climb over a wall, so I rehearse with her what she will say next time she’s asked out.

At one point, Jessica thinks she’s pregnant from the violation and I promise to hand over to her whatever money I have in my savings account (which isn’t so much) to have an abortion. I assume that’s what she wants because the thought of carrying a horrible person’s baby to term and going through birth, and then dealing with keeping this baby or giving it up for adoption…the whole scenario horrifies me.

Who would want to go through that?

She stares at me like I’m victimizing her now and I don’t understand why. I’m helping her, I’m being so altruistic! What’s wrong exactly?

What I didn’t understand was that she is against abortion and my pressuring her kill her own baby makes her feel like she was being violated again.

(Much later, I read about women who became pregnant from assault and who did have an abortion and grieve over how they were eventually able to heal from the assault, but not from the abortion. It’s a thorny and heart-rending situation, but I learn from reading and watching interviews with those conceived in abortion and their mothers that abortion is usually not the answer, even though “pro-choice” proponents insist it is the only compassionate response. Women pregnant from assault generally need unending support, compassion, and validation...not abortion. It doesn't matter how you or I imagine we'd feel in that situation, chas v'shalom, it matters how SHE feels. And this is learned from the parsha on Dina too, when the family allows her to make all decisions concerning her aftermath.)

Anyway, Jessica finds out she’s not pregnant and we are both much relieved.

(Now, I feel horrible about having pressured her to do such a thing. According to the Liberal values I’d been indoctrinated with at that time, I thought I was being so compassionate, but I was really being cruel. And I am so grateful to Hashem that He saved me from participating in an abortion.)

Later, Jessica manages to turn down a date and she feels great about overcoming that hurdle.

Throughout all this, Jessica shows a great capacity to be happy and enjoy the moment. She’s on the quieter side, but she’s got the cutest smile (which pops out more often than you’d think in her situation) and she’s always really nice to people.

I confide in her too, and she never puts me down or rebuffs me for having my own problems in contrast to her very dysfunctional life.

It's amazing how normal and sensitive and good-humored she is despite all the abuse.

Jessica invites me and a couple other friends to her fifteenth birthday party.

I’m surprised at how small and run-down her home is. I thought that as a church elder, her stepfather would have a better livelihood. He is a short squarely built man with sandy hair and blue eyes. He looks more like a logger than a church elder. Her mother is a quiet pale brunette.

I feel this weird sense of disassociation being in the same room with such awful people when I know what they’ve done. Especially her stepfather. I wish he would just drop dead, but I have to greet him politely so Jessica doesn’t get into trouble for bringing home rude friends. We all sit on the shaggy carpet in a corner of the living room and quietly give her presents. Somehow, we all sense we need to be quiet, but we don't know why.

Her mother and stepfather coldly ignore us, but I don't know why.

Her younger three siblings sit nearby and watch us. They are scruffy-looking with sad eyes. We try smiling at them, but they don’t smile back.
 
(When I ask Jessica, she insists that her stepfather doesn’t do to his own daughter what he did to her. But the daughter is only five and I wonder. I feel like something needs to be done because I feel like the younger children, especially the girl, are in danger too, but there doesn’t seem to be anything that can legally be done. Anyway, Jessica insists that her half-siblings aren’t abused like how she is.)

At one point, Jessica finds old documents from her parents’ divorce and discovers that her father consistently denied all accusations and that the court psychologist diagnosed her mother with a thought disorder. We don’t know exactly what this is, but it doesn’t sound good and we wonder why custody was given to her mother.

Toward the end of 10th grade Jessica is growing stronger emotionally and she finally decides that with her sixteenth birthday coming up (in our state, children 16 and up can legally choose with which parent they want to live), she wants to seek out her father to live with him and press charges against her stepfather.

Unfortunately, the entire church decides that Jessica is making false accusations against a church elder they all respect. But because they’re Mormons, they’re all really nice about it. They still like Jessica personally, but they are certain she is deluded, poor thing.

Jessica isn’t allowed out of her house or on the phone. She calls me here and there, but speaks quietly and hangs up suddenly because she hears someone coming. Then she contacts me to let me know that they’re having a youth group meeting at a church not far from my home and we agree to meet in the church driveway.

She sneaks out of the youth group meeting and we speak in the shadow of the tall bushes at the bottom of the steep walkway that leads up to the church entrance.

Suddenly, the church door opens and something like 20 Mormons come streaming out looking for Jessica.

Me and Jessica exchange looks and I ask if me being here will get her into trouble, and she says no, I can just say I was passing by and anyway, they probably won’t tell on her because they are trying to “help” her and don’t want to get her into trouble with her parents.

The head of the group is an outgoing confident girl named Allison. She spots Jessica and brings Jessica to the front of the group. She starts to talk to Jessica as if Jessica was an errant but beloved child.

Suddenly, I feel in danger. I sense that they won’t do anything particularly vicious to Jessica, but I’m a Jew and I somehow feel certain that would matter to them. I don’t stop to ponder this, but rationally, it didn’t make sense. I was open about my Jewish identity, but I was very assimilated and didn’t look specifically Jewish. Also, these people were very nice and proud of being open-minded. Furthermore, being a religious minority themselves, I’d always been treating with understanding and sensitivity by Mormons. Mormons are the nicest group of Christians I've encountered as a group.
So I have no idea where this sense of danger came from.

At one point, Allison is wagging her finger in Jessica’s face and looking intently into Jessica’s eyes.

“Now, Jessica,” says Allison firmly yet patiently. “You know your stepfather never did any such thing to you. You know you’re making everything up and you know that it’s all lies. You need to stop this.”

Danger or not, I can’t stand hearing this and seeing Jessica being treated like this.
I step out of the shadows and say, “Allison, Jessica’s not lying.”

Allison looks at me in shock, as do the rest of our peers and I realize they didn’t realize I was there. Allison isn’t sure how to handle my presence and I quietly defend Jessica, pointing out that her history of anorexia says something and also that they all probably have sensed something “off” about her stepfather, but are in denial themselves. Using Allison’s exact same tone of voice, I say, “Allison, you know that Jessica’s not lying. You know her stepfather and you can sense exactly what he is.”
And I can’t remember what else I said.

They all just stare at me for a moment. Then Allison glances at Joanne and as if hearing the same call, they all run off together.

I don't know why they keep running like a herd of antelope, rather than walking.

Jessica looks at me. “Thanks,” she says. But she still looks troubled.

We both know that anything I said was for Jessica’s benefit only, just so that she wouldn’t feel completely alone, but that everything else in her life was going to continue exactly the same. In other words, whatever I did was useless and only served to make me feel good. But nothing useful happened.

(Also, there was clearly no foundation for my sudden sense of danger as a Jew. Where did that come from?)

Jessica’s home situation becomes intolerable.

Allison’s family agrees to take her in and Jessica goes to live with them. They feel holier-than-thou because in their eyes, they are taking in this poor delusional girl who is making terrible accusations against one of their elders—yet they are behaving with exemplary Christian compassion toward her anyway.

Also, they can work on "curing" her while she is under their roof.

Jessica is in a crazy-making situation because it’s either her abusive family or Allison’s family or the street. Allison and her parents are really nice to Jessica, but are firm in their belief that Jessica is delusional, yet they love her enough to help her and support her even though she is nuts.

I can’t stand the whole thing.

Jessica calls me and confesses that she got a hold of diet pills and that she is behaving anorexically again. Feeling like I’m obliged to do something, I reassure her that I'm on my way.

Allison and her mother are not so happy to see me and I feel intimidated, but am on a mission, which gives me some courage. Allison and her mother make a big show in the kitchen about working together and humming and generally acting all familial and “apple pie.”

Jessica allows me into her room and then doesn’t want to show me the pills. She says she has regrets about confiding in me because she’s getting fat again (she’s not) and she really needs them. I ask her to show them to me, which she does reluctantly.

I pull on the package, but she doesn’t let go. Finally, she lets go and I throw the package in the waste paper basket next to us. We both look at it doubtfully.

“Is that good enough?” I say.

She looks me in the eye and says, “I’ll just take it out again after you leave.”

“Right,” I say.

So I take it and put it in my purse. Jessica looks very unhappy. I need to go and I try to say something encouraging and reassure that I’m doing this for her own good, even though I feel really bad and condescending for saying it.

I go and throw the diet pills in a dumpster.

I feel like I’ve done something and not just stood idly by, but deep down, I know I didn’t do anything useful at all.

I’m becoming like the surrounding culture: doing things to make myself feel good and proactive, but in reality, my efforts are useless.

Jessica gets in contact with her father, who is happy to hear from her and also open to having her come live him.

He never remarried and has a job and is much relieved that she never believed the false accusations against him. There is more to the story that I can’t really remember, like something about the church ganging up against him and it all being too much for him.

Secretly, I’m upset with him for abandoning her for 14 years. I understand why he couldn’t handle the initial pressure against him, but if he knew what his ex-wife was like, then why did he never try to fight for custody or visitation rights again?
Why wasn’t his only child worth fighting for?
And what kind of man did he think his ex-wife would marry—why wasn’t Jessica’s father more concerned?
Why did he wait until Jessica contacted him?
Why didn’t he care enough about his only child?

But I say nothing about my thoughts to Jessica. I want her out of this community and living with her father too.

Finally, Jessica is sixteen and her case goes to court.

The middle-aged female guidance counselor goes to testify on Jessica’s behalf, but I see her beforehand and she doesn’t look happy. She doesn’t say much, but implies that she doesn’t trust that particular court to do the right thing. But she will try her best.

I am thrilled. Finally! Jessica will be away from all the nuts and abusers! Now she’ll be able to heal. I can’t wait!

Excited, I wait for a call from Jessica.

Finally, she contacts me and she’s just despondent. The female judge declared that a child belongs with her mother and sentenced Jessica to the custody of her mother until she’d turn 18.

I feel like my heart and stomach are caving in. How could this happen? Anyway, without the abuse, Jessica has a legal right at 16 to choose with which parent she wants to live.

Why is this happening?

According to everything I've read and everything I've seen on TV, it’s not supposed to happen like this. Once you tell a trusted adult, then everything gets better. Once you scrounge up the guts to go to court, everything gets better: Justice is served.

Also, the judge was a woman! According to feminism, the entire reason why abuse victims were ever treated unjustly was due to the monopoly of insensitive white males in the system.

Installing FEMALES in traditionally male roles was supposed to fix at all that and right all those wrongs!

So what happened here?

The next day, I talk to the guidance counselor who sadly tells me that this particular court is very “family-oriented.” From my Liberal indoctrination, I already know that anything to do with “family” is bad: It’s code for Conservative positions (like “family values” and phrases like that).

But I don’t understand how this happened and what “family-oriented” has to do with forcing a child back to an abusive family.

“Is the judge Mormon?” I ask, thinking maybe the judge wants to protect her own.

“No,” says the guidance counselor. “Not at all.”

This is even stranger. I know that mainstream Christians tend to consider Mormonism weird, like a type of cult.
So even if the judge is “family-oriented,” why would she side unjustly with Mormons?
Why didn’t she believe Jessica and the guidance counselor and the others who showed up on Jessica’s behalf?
What about Jessica’s lawyer?
What about Jessica’s history of anorexia? 

In an effort to understand, I try asking more questions, but the guidance counselor’s mind seems to be somewhere else. She has other things to do (I found out what later) and I can tell that it's time for me to leave.

The next day, there’s a school assembly in the gym, which I attend along with everyone else, but my mind is elsewhere.

I’m very upset and confused and feeling betrayed on Jessica's behalf.

Spending another 2 years with her mother and stepfather seems impossible and I can’t stand the thought of it. I don’t see Jessica at school and I wonder where she is.

As I trudge out of the gym, everyone is streaming out around me with boisterous, loose energy. Suddenly, someone whomps up against me and arms are thrown around my neck.

I look down and see Jessica’s face beaming up at me.

“I'm going!” she says.

“Where?” I say.

She giggles. “Into hiding! They found a place for me to be until I’m 18 and can go live with my father!”

Into hiding? I start to feel rage boiling up inside of me. Why is Jessica going underground? She’s the victim! The other people should be hiding themselves, not Jessica! Why is the victim being punished?!

But Jessica is so happy, I force myself to smile at her. The truth is, I’m relieved for her too, even though it’s not fair. But of course, it’s better than the current alternative.

“I have to go now before anyone sees me,” says Jessica. “But I couldn’t leave without saying good-bye to you. Thanks for everything, for being such a good friend!” She squeezes her arms around my neck again in a hug and in shock, I hug her back. “See you in 2 years!” she chirps. Then she disappears and I’m left with my empty arms still in a half circle.

I look around, but can’t see her among the crowd.

This is the last blow of injustice. I feel devastated.

I go to see the guidance counselor, who is glowing with pleasure.

It was she who contacted this underground foster care system organized by people who wanted to help the children failed by the official system. She’s very pleased that she managed to save Jessica after all.

Me too, but I’m still outraged that the system and society failed her and that she needs to go underground against the law with a false identity and when she’s the victim.

“But aren’t you happy for Jessica?” says the guidance counselor.

No, I’m not happy. Oh, yay, abused and innocent Jessica is a fugitive and gone to live with God-knows-who! Does that seem like something to be happy about? No, I’m relieved for Jessica, but I’m also very, very angry at almost everyone else.

I can tell that the guidance counselor is a bit hurt that I don’t appreciate more what she did. After all, it’s totally illegal and she’s taking a huge risk.

Realizing I’m too absorbed in my own feelings, I re-focus and thank her for doing all that for Jessica and reassure her that I’m happy for Jessica and that I appreciate everything the guidance counselor has done.

Then I go to English class and sit there, glaring into space while the teacher talks. Then everyone gets to work on the assignment and I’m still sitting there with my arms crossed and glaring at nothing.

The teacher, a middle-aged Catholic woman approaches me and asks me what’s wrong.

She sounds nice, but she often looks at me a bit distrustfully, as if remembering what my Pharisee ancestors did to her godhead, and now is no exception.

I say something like I just lost a good friend because the system fails victims.

Pursing her lips, she lowers her head to contemplate me with eyes radiating rebuke.

It occurs to me that she might have been peripherally involved on Jessica’s behalf and know about Jessica’s escape into hiding. Jessica had mentioned something about this English teacher being sympathetic, but I couldn’t remember what. I think I didn’t pay attention at the time because different Christian groups could be nice to those from other Christian groups in an effort prove themselves as the REAL good guys and get new converts. And I think that’s why I thought the English teacher was being sympathetic toward Jessica.

Anyway, the English teacher fixes me with this look, then says pointedly, “But aren’t you happy for her?”

I am getting really sick of this word. No, I am not happy.

This isn’t fair, this isn’t right, this isn’t the way things are supposed to work.

Victims should be vindicated, not punished.

This is America, this is 1990, this is a culture of awareness, hotlines, organizations, women's rights, and lots of other propaganda I'd believed in.

I feel like everything has failed Jessica—and by association, failed me too: feminism, democracy, the Constitution, psychology, the justice system, therapists, organizations, treatment centers (like at the hospital), the culture…nothing works.

You can't trust any of it. It all fails in the end. There’s nothing you can really do to help someone being hurt.

“No, I’m not happy," I admit. "I mean, yes, I’m happy that she’s out of harm and in a safer environment." Safer. I know that legal foster homes can be abusive. So this underground foster care system is still risky. "But this still isn’t right. It's not ideal.” I pause. “Also, she’s my good friend. I’m going to really miss her.”

The Catholic English teacher looks at me with disapproval. “You should be happy for her," she said. "If you really care about her, you’ll be happy for her and not just think about yourself.” And with that, she went back to her desk.

I felt slapped.

And for some reason, I felt it was an anti-Jewish thing. Here I am, the uncompassionate Jew—just like the Sanhedrin of Pharisees who sentenced her god to death just because he was a nice, loving little shepherd who only wanted to spread love and compassion throughout the world. [sarc]

And so a Jew like me needs a righteous, compassionate Christian to put me in my place and set me straight. [sarc]

For some reason, I also felt like the strong strain of justice within me was also a Jewish thing. I sensed that the non-religious guidance counselor and the Catholic English teacher were content with just feeling “happy” because they weren’t Jewish. Jews have a “Tzedek, tzedek tirdof—Justice, justice thou shalt pursue” passion in us and others can’t always relate.

But it’s the extra oomph that Jews have which makes us go that extra mile in social justice. Its expression is often distorted among Jews who don’t use Torah as their guide, but it’s definitely there.

Yet at that time, I didn’t know why I felt that me being Jewish had something to do with the difference in our responses and why I felt so certain that the Catholic English teacher was relating to me in a dynamic of Christian vs Jew.

I can't prove any of this, including the Catholic teacher's intentions. It was just my strong feeling at the time for some reason.

I also sensed that feeling personal loss wasn’t as selfish and immoral as the English teacher was making it out to be. Somehow, I understood that having more than one feeling (“Happy!”) about the whole issue was perfectly justified.

It was okay to feel relieved, “happy,” outraged, betrayed, and despondent all at the same time, even if no one else thought it was okay.

I also understood I couldn’t talk about this with anyone and that the guidance counselor couldn’t discuss it either. Good people could get into trouble.

Over the next 2 years, I received birthday and Chanukah cards from within our state, but from 2 other states too. Jessica signed her first name only, but there was never a return address and I understood she was still on the run. She only scrawled a quick sentence (“Just letting you know I’m okay!”), but she sounded cheerful and optimistic.

As cheered as I was to receive each card, they also plunged me back into outrage and despair again. Why was Jessica having to run around 3 different states like a dangerous fugitive? She was the victim!

I noted her 18th birthday and wondered how I would get in touch with her again.

One day, I got a phone call.

“Hi, it’s Jessica! I turned eighteen!”

“Omigosh!” I shrieked.

She was living with her father now and so we met up at a park.

She didn’t say much about where she’d been for the past 2 years.

I guessed she couldn’t for fear of accidentally revealing something.

She mentioned being with an elderly couple in one place. It was boring and they just basically ignored her. I guessed that maybe they were paid, which added to their meager pension, and told to just keep things hush-hush, and that they were helping out a good girl failed by the system.

At first, I was concerned that she endured more abuse in these homes as is common in the legal foster system, but she said no, no one was abusive in any way. It was just more that she was ignored and bored most of the time. 

She was harder and more cynical than I remembered, but it made sense considering what she’d been through. She was also more direct, which I thought was a good sign, even though she was still nice and caring.

At first, things went really well with her father, but friction developed as time went by.

“He’s wants more control over me,” she said at one point. “But he doesn’t understand that I’ve been on my own for most of my life. He can’t just start being my father when I’m eighteen. We don’t have the normal father-daughter dynamic.”

And I understood that she struggled with resentment against his abandonment of her for so long until she, the child, had to reach out and contact him.

Not long after that, I moved to Eretz Yisrael.

At one point when we were around 22, I got a wedding invitation from her, then later a couple of photographs of her standing with her groom and her in a wedding dress looking pregnant.

Then I received a birth announcement declaring the birth of a daughter.

Then a year or so after that, I received another wedding invitation. I surmised she got divorced in the interim and was now getting remarried.

We were both moving around a lot and we lost contact.

Much later, I realized a lot of this was Hashem showing me not to rely on “isms” and all the agendas that come in and out of fashion, no matter how glowingly promoted in society.

Believe me, I know how convincing these agendas can be.
 
Some of it has crept into the frum community and people put their trust in non-Jewish resources and believe their propaganda, with some frum Jews feeling like we need to emulate these non-Jewish resources and systems even though I can tell you from personal experience that, while there are good and effective people within the system, these resources are neither as good nor as effective as they portray themselves to be.

(Jessica is not my only story either. Other people confided in me over the years and I've had my own experiences with social workers, therapists, and other aspects of the system.)

Note: You can certainly utilize non-Jewish resources if they’re effective—I have done so myself—but placing your trust in them as the be-all end-all or attempting to emulate their projected image is neither wise nor correct.

One part in particular stood out, a letter from the Chafetz Chaim regarding the behavior of those still sincerely committed to Torah amidst all the heresy and spiritual rebellion:

The Chafetz Chaim, in his great humility, included himself in that description even though his dedication toward Am Yisrael is legendary:

• He wrote beautiful and compelling books that are still studied and taken to heart almost a century later by the majority of religious Jews.
• He beseeched the Heavens and fasted for days on end—and did so repeatedly—for the sake of Jews whom he barely knew.
• His tenderness and understanding toward individual Jews of any age and status is still spoken of.

 
And the religious people of whom he spoke had their hands tied in so many ways as described in the book. (Really, what can you do as Rosh Yeshivah of Slutsk if one of your boys pulls out a gun and thus forces the entire yeshivah to listen as he blabs on about the joys of socialism?) What could they have done?

Engrossed in their daled amot. Engrossed. Not trapped and not looking out in dismay at the world crumbling around them. Willfully engrossed within their own world.
 
Just like me.

Yes, it hit me like that. He was talking about me.
 
Yes, I daven for other people. I have a list of sick, the captive, and the spiritually distant for whom I daven. I’ve davened many times for the benefit and salvation of Am Yisrael and even for the sincere Noachides. I repeatedly ask Hashem to bring all of Am Yisrael (including myself) to do teshuvah out of love, and not through of any suffering or humiliation.
 
But it’s not enough.
 
Why?
 
Well, what do you think I do almost every time I see:

• mention of the Women of the Wall, led by that glory-seeking atheist hypocrite?
• Or whenever I read about Christian missionizing in Eretz Yisrael?
• Or read about the encroachment of the Conservative/Reform movements, especially with regard to giyur/conversion?
• Or the IDF enlistment of girls, in particular the spike of religious girls who want to serve in combat (which is problematic on so many levels, it deserves a post of its own)?
• Or Charedi-looking Jews (REAL ones and not government provocateurs in disguise) acting like thuggish vandals out of a sense of unearned piety?
• Or anything along those lines?

I flee.

I flee into myself, I turn the page, I find another distraction, I fleetingly muse, “Oh, we just need to daven more and Hashem will take care of it…” (without immediately davening myself!).
 
Why?
 
Because these things cause me so much pain.

But even more, they make me very, very, very ANGRY.

And there’s nowhere to put that anger.
(Actually, there is. I could channel it into passionate prayer. But because the anger is so painful, I don't even do that much.)

And there’s nothing practical to do.

Demonstrations or confrontations? I get depleted in the worst way from the atmosphere and emotional upheaval the comes from such things—and it doesn’t change anything. People just hate you and whatever you stand for even more than they did before…and they can fight back in the worst way. They are capable of doing things that you, as a decent person, will not contemplate.
(Although the hundreds of sincere female religious worshipers who came to the Kotel to pray with sincerity in the face of the Women of the Wall was a nice idea that worked out well.)

Nor is there anyone to talk to.

The leaders are completely corrupt and consumed with narcissism. And their groupies…well, I know what their groupies are like having grown up with feminism, Conservative/Reform and all the rest, and having dealt with these people after I became frum. I know exactly how sincere, yet exactly how brainwashed and needy they are, and how unwilling they are to really hear the other side of things.

Unless they approach you, or unless they are already on a quest for truth, then there really is no point in addressing the issues because you’ll just come away feeling even worse, they'll despise you, and all for nothing.
 
Having been one myself, I know how self-righteous and determined they are while possessing very little actual knowledge.
 
On the other hand, I’ve spent years increasingly delving into classic Torah sources in the original Hebrew—and not by rote, but really thinking about what these great Torah Sages had to say to us and what they really meant and how to apply it today—because it is applicable today, despite what even some otherwise respectable charedi Orthodox Jews might tell you.
 
So, here is a picture of my world before I discovered Torah-true Judaism:

Ironically, I was consistently indoctrinated that the above is beautiful, colorful ("See? Look at the pretty red rose in the foreground!"), full of light and is the pinnacle of all there is.
 
Then I discovered Torah-true Judaism and it looked like this:

And I was amazed to see what color and light and beauty really looked like, even as it still looked kind of overcast and damp.

But the more I learned, the more I was dismayed and shocked at how much I’d been lied to (all with the best of intentions of course, by people who were just as deluded and deceived as I’d been).
 
And as I delved deeper and deeper, it started looking more like this:

And it’s only getting more expansive and awe-inspiring.

(Of course, I must also disclaim any rose-colored glasses. I see the warts in the frum world. I really do. But the actual Torah, the halacha, the real wisdom from real Sages, the increasing closeness to Hashem? It looks full of expansive color and beauty.)
 
And every time I read about the very disturbing issues listed above, all I can think is that they want to completely demolish everything and revert everything back to this while I’m sitting in the middle of it:

I can’t tell you how horrible the very idea is.

After all this expanse, color, and beauty, I kick and scream against having to ever go back to that dark gray ugly world again.
 
So it’s very easy for me to sit at home with my emuna and mussar books, surrounded by Torah-observant neighbors of whom I’m very fond, in my neighborhood which is designed especially for Jews like me, where Shabbat is a truly beautiful and peaceful place with no cars or stereos and the sound of different melodies of love-songs to Hashem flow out from open windows on Shabbat night, and to blog about emuna and the Kli Yakar and think I’m doing enough, and to blind myself to the ugly muddy tsunami that is rising around the pretty bubble of my own daled amot.

I’m wrong.
 
And the words of the Chafetz Chaim woke me up to that.
 
The people are drowning! And where am I?
Engrossed in my own daled amot, thank you very much.
 
But it’s not right. I’m basically sitting here as if thinking,
I can’t swim out that far. Anyway, there are sharks in the water and those drowning will just lob a spear into or upend my inflatable lifeboat, drowning me along with them. So I’ll just keep on doing my own personal best and hope that will weigh the scales to the side of merit.
 
Wrong! says the Chafetz Chaim. I need to care about all those lost Jews enough to pound the Heavens for their sake. Instead of running away from the disturbing news, I need to shout out to Hashem,
“STOP! I protest this madness! I protest this destruction! You must please turn these precious Jews around right now! You must please wake them up now and with a great deal of gentleness and kindness because they obviously can’t do it on their own! And while You're at it, if You could also gently shake me awake to do COMPLETE teshuvah from love, I'd be very grateful!”
 
If I really loved and cared about the people outside my own daled amot, this is what I would do. And b'ezrat Hashem, I'll already start.

When I was in college in America, there was a girl in our daily seminar whom I'll call “Toni.” She was a petite brunette with a gutsy, exuberant personality that bordered on obnoxious.
But she was so good-natured that everyone liked (or at least tolerated) her anyway.

She was also passionately and fanatically liberal.

Raised by a rabidly feminist single mother, Toni threw herself into battle for the liberal side in every class discussion.

Abortion is obviously the pet cause of every feminist extremist, and Toni’s mother had been no exception.

Except that her mother's abortion history was exceptional, even for the craziest fanatic.

One day in class, we were debating abortion and, as can be expected, the discussion went nuclear. Toni thrashed out all the standard talking points in favor of abortion, including the “right” to abortion for any reason and at any stage of the pregnancy.

Due to Toni’s increasing vehemence, people started quieting out of the debate. While nearly everyone present supported a "right" to abortion, most people also felt that having an abortion for what they considered a weak reason (like gender selection) or past a certain point pushed certain moral boundaries.

I seem to remember Toni up on a chair, shouting, and thrusting her finger at a male classmate who was calmly and somewhat anxiously trying to reason with her, validating her feelings, but just pleading for a fair hearing of the different angles of abortion.

But Toni only grew louder and more forceful about her position.

Finally, Toni shouted something like, “Abortion is a woman’s inalienable right that NO ONE has any right to take away! AND I KNOW ALL ABOUT ABORTION BECAUSE MY MOTHER HAD THIRTY* ABORTIONS AND I TOTALLY DEFEND HER RIGHT TO EACH AND EVERY ONE EVEN THOUGH I—I…”

Her voice cracked.

The room went silent as everyone just stared at Toni, who crumpled back down onto her chair, trying to hold back the tears that started streaming down her face.

Then she said, “Even though I always wondered why I wasn’t aborted too. When I was five or six, I asked my mom why she didn’t abort me, like she had and continued to do with her other pregnancies. ‘Is it because you knew it was me?’ I asked. But of course she didn’t know it was me. I was just lucky. And I don't know why. It was all so random.”

She looked around helplessly at us. “I’ve always gone through life with this feeling like I just missed the knife. But really, I should have been aborted too. I shouldn’t even be here. But I am. And who knows why?” She paused, then forced a smile through her pain. “And I always wondered about my siblings and who they would’ve been?”

“It sounds kinda like you have survivor’s guilt,” someone said gently.

“Yeah,” Toni said with a vigorous nod and a rueful laugh as she rubbed off her tears with the back of her hand. “I’ve always had this major survivor’s guilt. How was I the only one to escape the knife? Or whatever it was…”
 
That same day, two maternal girls named Julie and Nancy took Toni under their wing. They didn’t look like the maternal, nurturing type with their jeans and plaid flannel shirts (and Nancy enjoying a good day at the shooting range), but they both saw that vulnerable little Toni desperately needed some nurturing.

Unfortunately, radical feminists usually make terrible mothers. (Actually, even mainstream feminists often make terrible mothers.) They’re incredibly self-centered, resentful, and demanding. And what happens is that their children must validate their mother’s every action and view—even if it hurts the child—or lose that mother’s love completely.

This is why you have children of non-nurturing career-obsessed materialistic women who proclaim their undying admiration of their mother and insist they loved how she raised them (though she just shunted them out of her way).
 
If the children don’t do this, their mother wholly rejects and despises them.
(This is exactly what happened to Rebecca Walker, daughter of feminist icon Alice Walker, who wrote the celebrated The Color of Purple.)
 
In Toni’s case, Toni even needed to defend the killing of her unborn siblings and the theoretical annihilation of her own existence in utero in order to keep her mother’s love. Especially with no father around, young Toni would have subconsciously realized as a child that she was wholly dependent on this heartless woman for her bare existence.
 
And that’s pretty terrifying.
 
Baruch Hashem, the survival-driven façade of defending her mother’s “right” to commit heart-breaking depravity simply crumbled.
 
That day, Julie and Nancy headed over to Toni’s apartment to spend the night there, making sure Toni was okay.
 
The rest of the year, they made a cute threesome, with Julie and Nancy affectionately calling Toni “Li’l Ton-Ton” and stuff like that. They weren’t overbearing; they were gentle, supportive, and honest and just what Toni needed. And while Toni kept her outgoing, high-spirited nature, she lost the blaring coarse behavior she used to sometimes engage in.

But it was true that in the encroaching Leftist environment of the Nineties, Toni wasn’t allowed to have her say until it just came gushing out by mistake. You really weren’t allowed to have normal feelings or even basic morality. (Sort of like the Nazi era or the Communist era.) A lot of people, especially girls, were in a lot of pain, but they weren't allowed to acknowledge the real reason why because that would've demanded healthy accountability from the adults of either gender.

Despite all the liberal propaganda, you weren't really allowed a choice and there was no real freedom.

You were just a slave to the agenda of the most degenerate, selfish people who were running things, whether it was government, social programs, schools, the media, and all the regular people influenced by them.

And that’s why I left it all behind.
_____________________________
*While I’m writing this to the best of my memory, it still happened over 20 years ago, so maybe some details are off. Even if Toni's mother didn’t have 30 abortions, it was still some shockingly high number that left even the most degenerate Leftist wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

When I was in college and just becoming frum, I was surprised to see a fat lady in a shaitel and fur coat strutting around outside the classroom one day.

As the only obviously frum Jew (I was wearing long skirts and long-sleeved shirts) in the college, her demeanor embarrassed me; I looked around, hoping that no one would associate her strutting and her nose stuck up in the air (literally!) as anything to do with me.

I felt even more anxious after I entered the classroom and I saw her stride in too, constantly swishing her fur coat and swiveling her head around in a very show-offy way.

But after we were all settled in, our professors introduced this guest as a “former” man who was one of the pioneers of transgender surgery.

Boy, was I relieved!

Not only wasn’t this person frum, but he wasn’t even really a lady!

I was also happy for the opportunity to ask questions that I’d always had about these people—and here it was!

First of all, he spoke in a fairly male voice (the operation can’t adjust everything) and he said everything in this commanding tone of voice while strutting back and forth all the time.

Not terribly feminine, I'm sure you'll agree.

We asked him to what gender he was attracted before the operation, and also how feeling like he was actually female in the body of a male was different than same-gender-attraction. I can’t remember exactly what he said because he refused to answer the question and spouted off a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, which left me feeling confused and as I looked around, I saw the same confusion on the faces of my classmates.

Basically, he refused to say whether he had been attracted to men or women before the operation, which is weird.  

However, it would have been rude and politically incorrect to push the point too much, so we didn’t.

But his basic conclusion was that we “regular people” couldn’t understand people like him.

(Of course! Because the answer to "Were you attracted to men or women?" is waaay too complicated. Oh, sure.)

Then he told us his story. Mostly, it was about the pre-op and operation itself, rather than his family background, experiences, and self-discovery (which if he'd really been female, would've been considered the most important).

As he related his experiences prior to surgery, he suddenly said, “And I needed to prepare myself psychologically to be a woman!”

I frowned at that. After all, he apparently already was a woman! I mean, that’s why he was so big on the operation, right?
He simply needed to change his body to fit his mind and inner self.
So why and what exactly did he need to “prepare”?

He declared, “I knew that the minute I would get up off that operating table, I would need to compete! I needed to be ready at all times! Every time I’d leave the house, I’d need to be ready for that competition every moment!”

Hmm…constant vigilance and competition? Sounds like stereotypical male qualities to me!

After looking around to see whether my fellow female classmates were as mystified by this idea as I was (yes they were), I raised my hand and said nicely, “Excuse me—I’m sorry—but I’m just trying to understand what you mean by ‘compete’?”

He laughed at me. (It was a full-belly, chuckley masculine laugh—the same kind of condescending male laugh that sparked the feminist movement.)

I waited for an answer, but there was none. Just that incredibly annoying laugh. So I continued, “It’s just that…well, I’m a woman and…I don’t feel like I’m competing with other women. I mean, certainly, I don’t think about competition every time I leave the house.”

The other young women present (which was most of the class) nodded in agreement and murmured things like, “Yeah, I also don’t feel that way. I don’t feel like I’m competing, I don’t think about competition every time I walk out the door.”

He laughed again. “Oh, yes, you are! You’re definitely in a competition! You’re just not aware of it. Women compete all the time. You may not think you’re competing, but you are!”

Well, I was a bit rattled by him telling me what I secretly think and I feel. Very condescending. And yet again, it was one of those stereotypical masculine behaviors that drove a generation of women into feminism.

Also, I found his tone and manner of speaking rather aggressive.

“I don’t deny there times that women do get competitive with each other,” I explained, “but I really don’t feel competitive every minute of the day. And I’ve never heard any other women express that. I’m sorry, but I really don’t understand what you mean.”

And I was also thinking that feeling competitive like that all day long sounded very unpleasant. Why would he have an operation that would put him in that kind of situation?

Unless, of course, he liked competition—just like those Alpha male types!

But he smirked and just repeated that I wasn’t aware of my real feelings. Still smirking, he added, “You compete for men.”

Now I was really offended. (Yes—offended! And with no campus “safe space” available for me to cower in!) To my mind, only icky girls competed with each other for men. How dare he imply that I was an icky girl!

“No, I don’t compete for men,” I said, aghast. “I would never play those kinds of games. And I’ve never had a friend who does. You’re right that some women do, but they’re usually not so emotionally healthy.”

He responded by tossing his auburn-clad head, flapped his hand at me dismissively, and went on with his saga.

Well, in addition to getting all ready for all that imaginary competition, the other thing he did after getting up from the operating table was to physically engage with as many male partners as possible - if you get my drift. Like hundreds of partners over the few months following the operation.

Needless to say, this is not normal female behavior. Even very licentious women don’t go to that degree.

Once again, such trampy behavior is much more typical of men (even though this is definitely not typical of your average man). But it is most common in men attracted to other men.

Suddenly, he made an outrageous statement (paraphrased to avoid censorship by my filter): There is no difference between forcibly violating a woman and engaging a woman in a casual consensual encounter!

He continued to proclaim that they were exactly the same and that there was no difference between them.

I think all we females did a double-take as one. Even the female professors did a double-take and looked around uncomfortably.

The guys in the room looked shocked and uncomfortable.

Of course, this was too much and we females protested this highly offensive statement.

(The guys looked relieved. Phew! So we're not criminals after all!)

He loudly disagreed and changed the subject by continuing with his story.
(Just like a man!)

It occurred to me that only a man could equate the two situations. And even so, most men wouldn’t.

At one point, I asked him why trans males needed to be female. Why couldn’t they do stereotypically female things while being a man? And why did they dress so differently from normal women? If you’ve ever seen them, they dress like the male objectification of women. Real women dress casually most of the time. (And yes, I realize that this trans guy didn't dress as provocatively as many trans do, but maybe that was because he was obese.) After all, we’ve all known women who refuse to wear skirts and women who seem naturally attracted to stereotypically male roles. How was this different?

He was thrown off by the questions and just blustered about.

And that's all I can remember at this point.
___________________________
Anyway, I'm concerned about Western culture's attitude and support of this obviously problematic mindset because it affects the Jewish community too. Even some Orthodox Jews end up swallowing the Leftist pseudo-science talking points regarding abortion and same-gender attraction.

These men are obviously very messed up and rather than actually identify with femininity, they seem to have a very stupid and stereotypically male (not ALL males, but the shallow beastly kind) idea of the female personality. Rather than showing themselves to be women, they encapsulate the kind of shallow unrealistic image of women held by only the most piggish kind of men.

Yet there is a powerful movement to impose validation of this onto society.

And that is pretty scary.
___________________
Continue on to Part II.

More and more, I've come to realize that being a Jew who keeps Torah and mitzvot is like living in another dimension within a dimension.

If you've been making a real effort to come close to Hashem (however clumsily) and to internalize Torah values, it colors everything you see.

It colors it with Truth.

You end up living in a dimension rich with the most beautiful colors, but this multi-hued dimension exists within a dimension comprised of varying shades of gray blah.

And you increasingly see things (including yourself) as they really are.

Mostly, it's a beautiful and enriching experience that calls for a lot of gratitude.

But when someone from the outer gray dimension makes contact and does so with the desire to invade your dimension with their depressing gray tints, accompanied by resistance to your pouring some of your colorful stuff back into their blah dimension, it just becomes an unwanted and irritating experience.

For example, I recently got an email from someone who is not Jewish, but thinks they are. The email mourned the fact that a local and identifiably Jewish institution, along with many other such institutions around the country, has now received a terrorist threat.

And I knew what was coming and what the mournful tone disguised.

So guess who my contact blamed? Trump and Pence.

(Yeah, Pence, who recently cleaned up a Jewish cemetery after an antisemitic hit.)

Never mind the facts, like how antisemitism saw its upswing during Obama's years.

Never mind that it was Obama's administration that allowed so many Jew-haters into the country.

Never mind the spiritual message that, as the End approaches, Hashem would like some more teshuvah from His beloved Nation (and for certain non-Jews, including fake converts - however innocent and well-intentioned - and smarmy evangelicals, to stop mucking around).

I would have liked to explain that it's not Trump's policies that lead to antisemitism, it is the psychotically knee-jerk opposition to Trump's policies that emboldens Jew-haters.

But I didn't bother.

There are different kinds of Jew-haters.

White supremacists, for example, see the anti-white racism and anti-male bigotry in the wake of anything Trump does or says, and they conclude that the anti-white racism, the politically correct censorship, and "reverse" chauvinism built up under Obama won't go away without their nasty "help."

And then there are the Jew-haters in the Arab world. Over the years, I learned the hard way that it is impossible to explain Arab mentality to American liberals. They don't want to hear that different value systems genuinely exist, or that someone of the opposite perception may honestly believe in their perception as the emesdikker emes (the truest Truth) as much as the liberal believes in his or her perception as the emesdikker emes. 

And the truth is that if American society (or at least its media) presented a united front with their President while coming down hard on ANYBODY (regardless of race, gender, citizenship, etc.) who don't toe the line of law in America, terrorists would leave Americans alone. (It would have been better, however, if Obama's people hadn't let them and their nasty preachers in the first place.) With years of clan violence under their belts, Islamofacists are experts at spotting a breach and then exploiting it.

And in part, that's what's happening.

Of course, you can (and should) criticize a President's policies if they're bad. But as far as a big part of the Arab world goes, this media-driven free-for-all against the President (even when he's right) is the same as waving a fresh juicy carcass in front of a ravenous panther.

And I'm saying this as someone who is not pro-Trump (although I'm enjoying his presidency so far) and thinks that he ultimately will not do the right thing by Eretz Israel.

When I hear of Jews being hurt, I think I need to daven more and take on more mitzvot.

In other words, I need to do some soul-searching.

But I also think that the person who emailed me needs to do some soul-searching.

• Being a Noachide is fine.
• Being a Torah-observant Jew is fine.

But being a fake Jew who marries a real Jew and then raises their children as fake Jews who might marry real Jews? In other words, increasing intermarriage under false pretenses and totally misrepresenting Torah Truth?
Not okay.
Really, horribly, tragically not okay.

But I can't say anything, neither politically nor spiritually.

Liberals tend to be political evangelicals. They tell you what you need to think. They aren't interested in hearing the other side. To deceive you, they approach you in an amicable manner and open a dialogue with you by asking questions.
But it's all in order to convert you to their distorted theology.

Conservatives can do this, too, of course. The difference is that:
A) The conservative position is usually the correct one and can be proven so.
B) Because everything in society and the media is vociferously against conservative values, conservatives are usually well-informed of the opposing opinions and not speaking from a place of total and complete ignorance.

Anyway, I know that anything I say in reply will simply not be heard.

I know I'll just be knocked with kindergarten-level talking points that show no real knowledge or understanding of the subject and have nothing to do with whatever I just said.

And so I just press "Delete."

And I also find myself speechless in gratitude and amazement that Hashem plucked me out of all that mind-altering Leftist muck and put me in a place where my soul has at least a fighting chance.

(And thank you very much to all of you fine frum Jews - whether FFB or BT or converts - who've used your hearts, homes, words, and deeds - whether big or small - so that people like me could make this journey in the first place.)

Originally appeared in the Hebrew-language Kol Hayehudi online newspaper HERE.
(Thank you very much to Neshama at Going Home...to Yerushalayim, both for posting this herself and for taking the thought and effort to make sure I saw it.)

Here the Kol Hayehudi article in English:
(Since it's my translation, any errors are also mine.)

*Farbrengen is a Chabad/Lubavitch tradition in which like-minded people gather together to inspire each other toward spiritual advancement.
(In Hebrew, a farbrengen is called a hitva’adut.)
Chassidic melodies are sung, Torah and Chassidus are discussed within in the context of personal character development. Participants are supposed to discuss and pinpoint character flaws along with suggestions for improvement.
Apparently, people improving their character and working on their middot are of great concern to Israel’s security.
ISIS enthusiasts working on their Jihad are, of course, far less threatening. ;)

One of the things that liberal Jews and everyone else likes to have conniptions about is how Jewish immigrants were also discriminated against and later banned from coming just as they were being genocided in Europe.

So as Jews, we are supposed to understand and empathize with all immigrants.


Furthermore, because Jews have done well in America (proving discrimination and bans against Jewish immigrants to have been very wrong), many Jews feel this means that all immigrants should be given a chance.

Well, the one HUGE difference between Jews and everyone else is that fundamental American stuff, like the Constitution and many Western laws and cultural values, are based on Judaism. In other words, Jews are the source for American culture. This is why, for example, there is exists the term “Judeo-Christian values.” Notice how you’ve never heard terms like “Islamo-Christian values” or “Animist-Christian values” or “Hindu-Christian values.”

(FYI: "Judeo-Christian" is not an accurate term. Yeah, we all know what people mean when they say it, but just to be nitpicky: Any Jewish values found in Christianity are still just that: Jewish. And any Christian values are not.)

Anyway, there was no problem letting Jews in because Jews upheld—heck, invented—the very values America held dear. (Well, not "invented," per se, but transmitted directly from God...)

Jews also lacked the crime and alcoholism rate to which other groups—like the Irish and Italians—were prone.
(Although we love your accents, Irish people! And we love your food, Italian people!)

And for better or for worse, Jews wanted to assimilate.

(This is actually a bad trait in Jewish immigrants, but it tends to be a good trait for everyone else coming to America.)

In general, Jews wanted to be American and speak English and get educated and rich, move into nice neighborhoods, and get along with everyone.

(And even the minority of Jewish immigrants that did sequester themselves do not display the terrible socio-economic problems that other immigrant neighborhoods in America and Europe show. Yes, I know there are problems. But it is not the same as Mexican, African, or Muslim immigrant neighborhoods. It's just not.)

Do Papuans and Syrians and Mexicans want to wholly assimilate into America? Likely some really do. But as things look right now, a large percentage of them don’t.
(And if you don't believe me, then please read The Immigration Dilemma: Part of the Geula Process and Refusing the Wretched Refuse.)

Another big difference was that Jews helped—and still help—their fellow Jewish immigrants in America.

Even the very early Jewish immigration (late 1800s-early 1900s) from Europe received help.

From whom, you might ask?

Sephardim were the first Jews to settle America. They were a bit embarrassed by their impoverished and not-as-snazzy brethren arriving from Eastern Europe, so they were surreptitious about the aid they provided, but the early Jewish aid organizations were largely funded by Sephardim. (You just didn’t see them much in the actual flesh.)

Likewise, the massive Jewish immigration from Russia received enormous help from the present Jewish communities in the USA. Jewish communities generously helped with subsidizing housing, school placement and tuition to Jewish schools, food, furniture, and job placement.

For some reason, people (including many Jews themselves) hate to acknowledge this, but Jews as immigrants are and have always been in a class of their own.

And again, our value system provided America with its value system. We are the source.

Jews need to stop projecting their image onto immigrants from primitive and brutal cultures.

It’s simply not accurate or helpful.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the little news announcement that President Trump will allow the 1250 “refugees” from Papua New Guinea that Obama agreed to take from Australia.

(Australia is pretty big and not crowded. Why couldn't it take them all? Maybe it doesn't want to? Why not? We'll soon see...)

Also my blog provider, Weebly, which provides a wonderful service, recently sent an email requesting donations for an organization which helps relocate refugees and helps refugees “get their slice of the American dream.”

The problem is, many refugees today aren’t interested in the American dream.

(It's also disturbing because there are so many American children and elderly suffering in bad situations. Why does everybody ignore them and insist on donations for carbon footprints and refugees who might be sociopaths?)

I already wrote about immigration here, but I thought I’d write about it again.

Why?

Well, this week's Haftarah in Yirmeyahu/Jeremiah linked to other chapters of Yirmeyahu which discuss nations being punished by being invaded from other nations. And I think we're seeing this now. But it's being done slowly because Hashem is infinitely Compassionate and Merciful and gives us loads of time to shape up.

Anyway, growing up in America’s Eighties, I saw a lot of immigrants, mostly Pacific Asian and Russian. And they did really well in America.

They wanted to do well.

Then, on a visit to London, I saw a lot of wealthy Hindus from India in Rolls Royces.

British friends of mine told me of the high-quality treatment they received from Pakistani doctors.

Immigrants of that time also wanted to adapt to American (or British) culture, and not just enjoy the goodies the West has to offer while hanging on to all their old cultural baggage that ruined their country of origin in the first place.

In fact, that was the truth about a lot of immigrants.

Sure, the desire to acclimate depended on age. Younger immigrants more strongly desired and found it easier to take on the new culture and its language. It also depended on where they lived to some extent. A wholly immigrant neighborhood made and still makes it harder for its residents to acclimate to the new culture.

But Third World immigration is a whole new ballgame today.

Not only is the technological difference vaster than ever (I remember hearing last year that part of acclimating immigrants from South America is teaching them to use an indoor flushing toilet), but the cultural differences are also vast.

While many of these parts of the world are plagued with gang violence, armed skirmishes, and a horribly corrupt government, their underlying culture is problematic on its own.

Let’s look at Papua New Guinea:
(And why are these people being called “refugees” anyway?)

• 2/3 of all households suffer from domestic violence. (Were the incoming immigrants screened for this?)
• In Bougainville, 80% of all men say that they committed physical violence or worse against a girl friend or wife. (I sure hope that none of the incoming Papuans are males from Bougainville!)
• Polygamy is common among Papuans, with the new wife sometimes joining in with the husband to physically abuse the first wife. (Were the “refugees” screened for this, too?)

Travel advisories also tell us a lot:

• Visitors to Papua New Guinea are advised that making eye contact at all is disrespectful. Speaking loudly and making eye contact is considered very rude.

Why, I’m sure these people will fit right in with American culture, no problem!

• Also, Papuans are apparently so violently impulsive (“temperamental” in Travel Advisory-speak) that if there is an accident (even if you are not at all at fault) in which a person, pig, or chicken is hurt, then you are advised to keep driving until you reach the nearest police station.

This means that you are forced to participate in the act of hit-and-run that is so despised and illegal in American culture - even if a person is hurt and you want to help him.

Also, what if a Papuan is driving recklessly in, say, Miami and hits you, killing his chicken?
Can you imagine getting out of your car to exchange the accepted info (and even accept an apology) only to face an outraged Tok Pisin-speaker brandishing a knife?

(I forgot to mention that in Papua New Guinea, everyone carries a bush knife.)

• The Papuan rate of AIDS/HIV is the highest in Oceania. Studies show that this is due to the high rate of aggression against women and the high rate of drug and alcohol abuse.

Gosh, just the kind of people we’d like to have living next door!
No wonder feminists are leading the crusade to accept immigrants!

• Another thing that irks Papuans is if someone seems to be practicing some kind of sorcery. I do not know what the signs of a sorcerer are in Papua New Guinea, but if they just suspect you of casting spells or whatever, they tend to get extremely “temperamental.” Accusations of sorcery are especially common against women.

 

• Cannibalism is a problem is some areas of Papua New Guinea, but I’m sure none of the new “refugees” are from those tribes.

In "vetting" we trust!

The West has not yet realized that different cultures cling to different values.

Many people coming to America just want free stuff and indoor plumbing.

Many are just fine with the values of their native culture, even to their detriment.


For example, many Muslim women think that husbands have a right to beat their wives. Also, the female “circumcision” so common in Muslim and African cultures is often carried out by women. In cases in which the father is willing to forgo it for his daughters, the mother often insists on it.

Here in Israel, we are very familiar with the fondness primitive people have for their unholy values. The pitiable African refugees allowed in by soft-hearted border guards and black-hearted politicians have wreaked havoc in the Israeli neighborhoods they’ve taken over. And if you ask Muslim men in Israel what they think of wife-beating, you’ll receive very honest and confident answers. In fact, if you ask them what they think of suicide bombings, you’ll also get honest and confident answers.

Israel recently and wrongly accepted 100 Syrian orphans. This is a terrible mistake because history has shown there is no chance these orphans will recall this kindness with any kind of gratitude. In one generation, these orphans will multiply to at least 500 people who want to destroy Israel.

The Arab culture in Israel indoctrinates its children toward hatred and Jihad. And the brainwashing is intense, as MEMRI has proven. And does anyone remember the Pan-Arab popular Iranian TV series, Zahra’s Blue Eyes? The story takes place in Israel's West Bank and is about a little Arab girl named Zahra with eyes so beautiful that the monstrous Israelis wanted to pry her eyes out of her face to transplant them into someone else's. Or something.

(As if we don't have beautiful eyes of our own!)

And anyway, places like Dubai and Saudi Arabia have plenty of room and funds to help not just 100 orphans, but 10,000 orphans.

So why can't they just hate us from over there?

Do you know one of the big differences between sociopaths and normal people?

Sociopaths think that horrific things like torture, dismemberment, assault, and murder are only bad if it happens to them personally.


They have no problem with it happening to other people, and they can even do it themselves to other people.

So just because a Third World person is crying about the suffering in their native land doesn’t mean anyone should take them in.

First, I want to know if torture, dismemberment, theft, and assault only bothers them when it happens to them, or if it bothers them when it happens to other people, too.

I also want to make sure that they won’t do to others the bad things that have been done to them.

Can Weebly promise me that donations will not be used to relocate within America people who are fans of female "circumcision," domestic violence, violence in general, and people who won't become "temperamental" if someone injures their chicken or looks them in the eye while enthusing about some lame tweet against the latest Ben Shapiro speech?

Along these lines of the above-quoted Hillel's famous phrase from Shabbat 31a, people who identify with bad people are showing that they themselves are bad people.

Americans who ignore the suffering of, say, their own children and elderly (who are likely basically decent people) in favor of helping people of whom the majority seem to hold reprehensible values close to their heart, are unconsciously showing with whom they identify and empathize.

And this is very disturbing.

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8|Part 9|Part 10|Part 11|Part 12|

So...what are the take-aways?

• Evil people and societies don’t sit around rubbing their hands together while cackling gleefully, “I’m soooo evil—and I love it!” Nor do they realize they are crazy. They ALWAYS think they are the victimized class and see the real victims as oppressors - which gives them the feeling that they can do ANYTHING they want.

 

• “Nice” people are perfectly capable of going along with and even actively maintaining very evil policies and values. (And I don’t mean pretenders, but people who genuinely value “nice” behavior). As counterintuitive as it sounds, being “nice” doesn’t mean you can’t also be a bad person. Of course, truly good people also behave nicely, but people must be judged on the actual values they uphold AND display, and not on how “nice” they are.

 

• Love of animals, veganism/vegetarianism, appreciation of nature, and a calm and healthy lifestyle cannot make you into a good person and by themselves are not even signs of goodness.
  

 

• Historically, when society demands a savior and then willfully ignores the blatant flaws in their designated savior, this is a precursor to tough times and bloodthirsty movements.

 

• Historically, movements that focused primarily on income equality or general economic prosperity (i.e. materialism) and “sticking it to the other side” led to bloody outcomes. Movements that focused on God and core values and morality (i.e. the Ten Commandments, the Noachide Laws, etc.) have done much better. A society that values morality will also have more freedom and economic prosperity.

______________________________________________

And based on historical events and what I see unfolding now, here is what I think could happen:

• Anti-Israel sentiment will continue to rise. With the exception of the alt-Right (alternative and extreme Right), people cannot allow themselves to target Jews directly (especially seeing as the Left itself is comprised of many secular Jews) and still FEEL like a good person (because feeling good has trumped actually being good in most of society today). But like that former Hitler Youth member mentioned in Part 4, they feel it’s okay to yell “Death to…!” a country.

 

• President Trump will want to go down in history as the leader who made peace in the Middle East (which for some reason, always means "in Israel" and ignores all the wars between countries and clans in every other country in the Middle East). He has already made statements alluding to this. And seeing as the Israeli government is easier to push around than any other government in the Middle East, he will press on Israel to make suicidal and halachically forbidden concessions.

 

• Furthermore, Trump has already chosen as his chief strategist Steve Bannon who, while never personally heard spewing Jew-hatred, has shown himself perfectly willing to cater to the alt-Right Jew-haters. Trump has also chosen General James Mattis as Secretary of Defense. Mattis is sympathetic to the Arab side regarding Israel, even though he is not sympathetic to the Arab side in general, especially when it's Arab vs American. (See HERE.)

 

• The American Left will up its battle against religion because it is religious people who are standing in the way of abortion-on-demand, same-gender marriage, and all the trans hype. (Although they are not standing in the way ENOUGH. Yet to Leftists, any limits are bad.) But again, because attacking Jews would harm their self-image as good people, Leftists will attack the Jewish religion (along with other religions, except for Islam) along with whatever they consider “Orthodox interpretation” while saying that the Reform movement and secular Jews are okay. (Sort of like in Rav Schach’s story in Part 2.)

Following these points, Jew-hatred will be increasingly expressed as Israel-hatred.

But maybe I’m wrong. Hopefully, I’m wrong.

Regardless, the main thing is to cultivate a close and personal relationship with Hashem, invest in deep self-introspection to scrub out bad traits and polish up good traits, and keep on doing mitzvot.

As is a well-known Jewish truth, bad omens and bad prophecies need never come true.

Teshuvah has the power to change everything.

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8|Part 9|Part 10|Part 11|Part 12|