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UPDATED: When The Only Person You Can Really Confide in Happens to be Your "Enemy"

9/3/2023

 
On Purim, my husband ended up going through a predominantly secular area with our almost 8-year-old, who was dressed up as military commando.

A secular woman with young children approached him and started to ask him questions.

"What did you dress up as?" — even though it's obvious. But kids always like to explain the obvious, and I think she knew that. Also, I think she wanted to know if he understood what his costume represented.

She asked him how his school (charedi) responded to his choice of costume, what activities they organized for the children, and so on.

Then she turned to my husband and said, "You know, I'm in favor of all these demonstrations." 

She meant the pro-Left, anti-Torah demonstrations roiling around the country now.

We need to make peace with the Arabs, she continued. (The demonstrations aren't just about that. But like a Rorschach blotch, people are projecting their own interpretations onto events.)

Not all Arabs are bad, she said.

My husband agreed with her, but said you still can't trust them with agreements and treaties and the like. Some will never do anything to harm another. But some will act like your bosom buddy, then turn on you.

​How can you know who will respond how?

Furthermore, their leadership is always corrupt and greedy, so it's certainly impossible to trust the leadership, even when individual Muslim-Arabs are trustworthy & willing.

At that point, the woman told him about her personal experience with a Muslim-Arab employee. She delivered hot meals to schools and employed this Muslim-Arab, who always acted like a total sweetie pie. 

As she got to know him, she said to herself and others, "This Arab breaks the stereotype! He would NEVER do anything to harm anyone else — of this, I'm absolutely certain!"

Then she discovered he carried out a terror attack.

Can you imagine?

Your beloved, trustworthy sweetie-pie employee doesn't show up to work one day, and then you see his name and photo publicized as the terrorist who carried out a terror attack against your fellow Jews.

"You see?" said my husband.

​She just looked at him pensively, then said, "Because of this, I voted for Ben Gvir in the last election."

Reading between the Lines

Having lived in Israel over half my life and having learned Hebrew and become familiar with all different kinds of mentalities, I'd like to explain what was going on beneath the surface in the above exchange.

First of all, the woman felt intrigued seeing a little charedi kid dressed up as a soldier when charedim are supposed to be against serving in the army and so on.

Yet despite everything, little charedi boys love to dress up as soldiers and policemen — anything with a gun, as little boys are wont to do.

Also, she felt curious about how the other side lived. That's why she wanted to hear about Purim parties at a charedi school.

Finally, she holds a secular Leftist position because of the brainwashing of her environment.

However, her personal experiences tell her something completely different than her environment.

That's why she lives a contradiction of voicing support of the pro-Left secular demonstrations while voting for their exact opposite: Itamar Ben Gvir's right-wing religious-Zionist party.

In her heart, she knows the truth. But she's still mid-journey and can't quite make the leap yet.

Furthermore, she may have come across nice frum people, whether at work or in the neighborhood or baalei teshuvah within her family.

​Maybe she saw something appealing or inspiring on Hidabroot.

But she has no one with whom to share her conflicting feelings. Her secular Leftist environment won't allow open & honest discussion.

So she approaches obviously frum people, presents her position according to how her society tells her to feel, experiences how the frum person both listens AND stands his or her ground in a very nice way...and then she indicates her true feelings and experiences by telling a personal story.

And clearly, she cannot tell her peers for whom she voted, so she tells a frum stranger because she's sure he'll understand.

This isn't uncommon in Eretz Yisrael.

Israelis tend to approach frum people, quasi-challenge them, and upon seeing the frum person willing to engage with them in a friendly manner, the secular Israeli starts to open up.

This happens to me more regarding their religious feelings, but as shown above, they also do it regarding their political feelings.

Simply put, secular Israeli Leftists live a confused, conflicted, repressed society.

And as odd as it sounds, the approachable frum person is the only one with whom they feel they can discuss their true feelings.

And they do.

I think it's a good sign.

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Rav Itamar Schwartz on Why Hashem Saved Am Yisrael on Purim, But Queen Esther Needed to Stay with a Jew-Hating Idol-Worshipping Menuval

5/3/2023

 
A lot of people rightfully feel disturbed by the fate of Queen Esther.

The rest of Am Yisrael experiences joy, unity, salvation, triumph, and celebration — but Queen Esther does not seem to. 

We want the happy ending in which Mordechai HaYehudi rescues his wife from the Zoroastrian harem and the horrible king who had her kidnapped and forcibly married to him.

But that desired ending never arrives.

Why not?

What really happened with Queen Esther after that first glorious Purim?

As usual, the answer is complex and deep...and not all is as it seems.

Here's Rav Itamar Schwartz of Bilvavi on the topic:
The Geulah on Purim was a preparation for the Geulah shelaimah (complete Redemption), but it was not yet the Geulah shelaimah itself.

The Gemara says that “We are still the slaves of Achashveirosh” (Talmud Bavli Megillah 14a).

Mordechai was only favored by “most” of Klal Yisrael, but not to all of them, and the Gemara says that this was because he had to be involved with the government, so he was not accepted by everyone after that.

And, similarly, Esther remained as Achashveirosh’s queen.

However, the Zohar says that Esther took control of Achashveirosh’s power and of his entire kingdom.

Esther represents the spiritual point of malchus d’Atzilus, and Achashverosh was the Zeir Anpin on the side of impurity.

According to the Zohar, she sent a demon in her stead to be with Achashveirosh, and this is unlike the view of the Talmud Bavli, which states that Esther was forced to be with Achashveirosh.

The sefer Magid Meisharim writes that because the Jewish people sinned by marrying gentile women, they were punished with Esther being forced to be married a rasha.

The sefer Chemdas Yomim says that Esther represents the Malchus D’Atzilus, the Shechinah, which was placed into exile, for she was forced to be married to a wicked person, like a rose among the thorns.

The Ramchal also writes that Esther being forced to be with Achashveirosh represents how the Shechinah is currently exiled to the Sitra Achra, to the side of evil.

Achashveirosh wanted to control Esther – the Shechinah – but Mordechai made the demon swear that it would take Esther’s stead and go to Achashverosh instead.

So even when she had to go willingly to Achashverosh, she never actually was with him, because she sent a demon to be with him instead, so she never actually stayed with Achashverosh for the rest of her life.

It was only in the beginning when she was first taken as queen, that she had to be with Achashverosh – but she did not actually remain with him.

https://question.bilvavi.net/blog/2021/02/25/deep-insights-into-megillas-esther/

What's the Underlying Message of Shoshanat Yaakov regarding Zeresh? A Quote from Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender (Free Downloadable Graphic)

17/3/2022

 
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Please see here for a bit more on the topic:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/how-to-overcome-the-terrorist-klippah-of-zeresh


Kiddush Hashem Reminders for Purim & Purim Links

16/3/2022

 
Thank you so much to N.E.J, who forwarded to me the following:
Kiddush Hashem Reminders for Purim:
​

Please help publicize these important messages from the Agudah and Torah Umesorah. 

Kiddush Hashem and chillul Hashem sensitivities are fully applicable on Purim:
​
  • One cannot become drunk on Purim if doing so will cause one to make a chillul Hashem by alcohol-induced inappropriate behavior.  
  • Be fully aware of your surroundings - whether you are driving, playing music at night, or drinking. Remember that there are neighbors watching.
  • Perhaps place some mishloach manos at your non-Jewish neighbors’ doors with a note. This generous gesture goes a long way to minimize any hard feelings and enhance darchei shalom.
  • Know where your children are. Ensure that a Rebbe/adult joins them in their car if they are collecting.
  • Participate in the incredible learning programs such as Yeshivas Mordechai Hatzadik.
  • Be sensitive in your choice of costumes. Exercise great care to avoid any take off on other cultures, because they may be considered mockery and lead to a reaction of open hostility. 
  • Remember that all of our actions can easily be publicized in mere seconds to thousands around the world.
Let's assure that this year's simchas purim will be a true Kiddush Hashem!

Have a freilichin Purim!
Rabbi Shraga Freedman

Just in the interest of not being a holier-than-thou hypocrite regarding costumes of other cultures: I confess that in the past, my children have dressed up as indianim and British soldiers in the style of the Queen's Guard.

I admit I bought those costumes without any further consideration than my child's own enjoyment.

Also, I think the Japanese-lady costumes for little girls are adorable.

But I live in Eretz Yisrael.

If I lived in the USA, I probably would avoid those costumes for the reasons stated above. (Sadly, hostile reactions are a very real concern nowadays.)

(Although I suspect that no Brits, including the Queen's Guard themselves, would be offended by the sight of a little Jewish kid prancing around in a polyester imitation. So probably "British soldier" is an okay extra-cultural choice.)

And I think the Yemenite-Jewess costume for little girls are absolutely lovely.

Yet I have personally seen Moroccan Jewish girls dressed in the Yemenite-Jewess costumes.

Hopefully, no Yemenites were offended by non-Yemenite little girls dressing like them. In fact, I'm sure they weren't offended one bit. I hope.

And yes, in all seriousness...WATCH OVER YOUR CHILDREN!!!

B'ezrat Hashem, may we all have a safe & joyous Purim full of light & daat.

Links to Enhance Your Purim Experience

Here are Purim links to lectures from Rav Itamar Schwartz in English, Hebrew, and Spanish:
https://bilvavi.net/sugya/purim.droshos

Purim Q&A from Rav Itamar Schwartz:
http://www.bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Purim.QandA.pdf

Rav Avigdor Miller on Purim:
http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/purim-with-rav-miller-fun-reading

Here is a post on the segulah for the fast of Ta'anit Esther:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/a-special-segulah-for-the-fast-of-esther

Here are past Purim posts of this blog:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/category/purim
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◄Previous post:
​A Q&A Excerpt from Bitachon Weekly: "With all the Jews in Ukraine that are in danger, what does the Rav suggest we Yidden should be doing and thinking at this time?"


Insights & Advice for Women on Purim from Rav Itamar Schwartz

13/3/2022

 
Before we get to women on Purim...do you ever suffer from niggling Purim questions to which you never found the answer?

(Like, if Purim exemplified salvation, then why did Queen Esther need to stay intermarried to such a repulsive menuval? How much & what should I drink on Purim? And what's the deal with Haman's grandchildren learning Torah in Bnei Brak—how did THAT happen? And more...)

Then please see this Purim Q&A:
https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Purim.QandA.pdf
(It includes the following for women too.)
​
Here are some practically & spiritually helpful advice & insights from Rav Itamar Schwartz, as published on the Bilvavi website (with which Rav Schwartz holds no connection), as excerpted from a lecture by Rav Schwartz (much of the following apply & benefit men too):
There are a lot of aspects to Purim. The halachah of intoxication applies only to men, and the parameters of this halachah is explained by the Poskim.

But there are many other aspects of Purim as well which apply to both men and women.

Here are some of those points to think about, and each person should try to do them on his or her own level, according to his or her personal capabilities – and not based on any reasons influenced by factors that are either social, or emotional, or family-based, because there are many times where people act based solely on “what’s normal”, and this uproots any serenity and joy that they could have on Purim.

1) Consider the aspect of reading the Megillah on Purim.

Both men and women are obligated to hear the Megillah on Purim.

And on a more inner level, both men and women can reflect on the events in the Megillah and see how there was Divine Providence laced throughout this story, because the word “Megillas Esther” means to “reveal” the “hidden”, to turn the concealment (hester) into giluy (revelation of Hashem’s Divine Providence).

A person can go through all of the details in the Purim story, from beginning until end, and he can see how it was all an unfolding process of Hashem’s Divine Providence - as opposed to a bunch of random details that have no connection to each other.

On an even deeper level, each person, whether man or woman, on his or her own level, can see Hashem’s inner mode of conduct hidden in the Creation, as explained in sefer Daas Tevunos, and how every event in the world can be seen through the lens of Hashem’s carefully planned Divine Providence, His goodness, and the revelation of His Oneness.

2) Consider the mitzvah of sending Mishloach Manos on Purim.

The purpose of this mitzvah is to increase love and friendship.

On the obligatory level, everyone is obligated to send two portions of food to someone. On an inner level, one should also think about whom he will make happy by giving Mishloach Manos to.

Then one should think, “What can I put into this Mishloach Manos package which will make the other person happy? What would that person really enjoy?”

One should put thought into how much Mishloach Manos to send, what the quality of it should be like, how nice it should look, and what kind of nice messages he can send with it.

Everyone should do this only according to her personal capabilities, and not to over-do it.

Even more so, when giving the Mishloach Manos, it should not just be an act of giving motivated by logic alone, but it should be given from the depth of one’s heart, with love and joy, to make the other person happy.

Included in this aspect (gladdening other people on Purim) is to make the children happy, with costumes and the like.

But again, one should do this only within her actual capabilities, and only if she can do it with joy.

3) Consider also the mitzvah to give Matanos L’Evyonim (gifts to the poor) on Purim.

One should look for a person who needs it the most, and who would be the happiest to receive it – and one should strive to give Matanos L’Evyonim specifically to this kind of person.

A woman usually needs to ask her husband about whom she may give Matanos L’Evyonim to, mainly so that her husband should agree with her decision.
​
4) Regarding the seudah of Purim, try to serve good food to each person who is dining by you, fitted to each person’s particular tastes.

The main point of the seudah on Purim is to think about and discuss Purim-related matters and what Purim is all about, and to stay away from words that disparage people, which only awaken the most impure forces in one’s soul.

5) The purpose of the day of Purim is to reach a deep place in one’s soul that is above one’s daas (logical reasoning and understanding).

For men, whose main mitzvah is to learn Torah, their main work on this world is to develop the power of their logic throughout the year, by studying Torah.

That is why men need the intoxicating effects of wine (or the dulling effect of sleep) in order to “nullify” their logical understanding and reach a place that goes beyond logical understanding.

However, women, who are exempt from Torah study, are therefore closer to the concept of nullifying their understanding and to more easily reach a place that goes beyond logical understanding. This is the point known as temimus (non-intellectual simplicity or earnestness).

Thus the main avodah of the day of Purim is, “Be wholesome with Hashem your G-d”, to walk with Him in temimus (simplicity), without any intellectual thinking.

It is about sensing His unlimited love for us, just as the people in the time of Achashveirosh re-accepted the Torah out of their great love of Hashem that they saw through the miracles of Purim.

It is about feeling how He always give to us, out of His great love for us, by saving us from trouble, and by bestowing good upon us.

From this understanding, we can come to feel the sweetness and pleasantness of being close to Him.

This is the root of true simchah on Purim, because by feeling close to Hashem a person feels physically lighter, in the body in general and specifically in the feet, and that is why one can easily sing and dance on Purim – just as by the song of Miriam.

And that is why the miracles on Purim happened precisely through women [Esther].

It is because women are closer to this temimus (simplicity and earnestness).

Men need to drink as a means to reach this place of temimus, whereas women are closer to reaching it, without the means of drinking.

​It only requires a little bit of reflecting and calm silence, and to enter into the deepest place of one’s soul – each person on her own level.

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Segulot & Insights for Purim Katan

15/2/2022

 
I received the following from a couple of different sources, apparently from Rabbi Avitan.

I never knew any of this about Purim Katan, which is today Tuesday until sunset
​:
Tsadikim say that the light of Purim Katan (the small Purim) is brought upon all those who feel small in the sense that they need a yeshua (salvation); those who feel little because they are lacking in something.

Purim itself is the biggest day of the year to have our prayers answered.

Purim Katan is a big and auspicious day as well.

Rabbi Tsadok of Lublin writes that on the day of Purim Katan, a person can merit to get ‘a new heart’. Meaning that his heart can be purified on this day.

Someone who is not able to see the good in situations, in others…can be granted ‘a good heart’ on the day of Purim Katan.

To receive the light of Purim Katan, we must prepare the proper vessel.

There are some minhagim (customs) that Tsadikim have suggested we do on this special day.

​These customs make it so we are blessed with an abundance of blessings.

Seudat Purim Katan
One should make a seuda (meal) in honour of Purim Katan, just as we would do on Purim. It is a mitzvah to make a meal anytime on Tuesday before sunset. 
​
One should also make it a point to drink some wine during the meal.

​It should be a meal filled with joy. This meal holds a lot of yeshua (salvation). 

Chazal say that Moshe Rabbenu was born on the 7th of Adar Aleph (the first Adar in a leap year) and therefore his Brit Milah was on the 14th of Adar Aleph, which is the day of Purim Katan.

Given that at that time, the Jews in Egypt were forbidden to have children (Pharoah ordered that the newborn Jewish boys be killed) and Moshe was hidden in order to keep him alive, they were not able to celebrate the Brit Milah and make a proper meal – Seudat Brit Milah (a holy meal that holds a lot of yeshua (salvation)).

The Beit Israel of Gur/Ger explains that in a leap year, we make a big seuda on Purim Katan, the 14th of Adar Aleph, in honour of Moshe Rabbenu’s Seudat Brit that he didn’t have.

On this day, Moshe Rabbenu is honour and comes down to be with us.

At this holy time, in the presence of Moshe Rabenu’s holiness, we can ask Hashem for all the things we need and want, and we are bound to see yeshuot (salvations).

Tsadikim also say it is good to say the following chapters in Tehillim during the meal:
22, 39, 62, 77, 100
כ׳ב, ל׳ט, ס׳ב, ע׳ז, ק׳

Then, open our hearts and pray for all our needs.

Rav Mordechai of Nadvorna ztz’l says Purim Katan is a wonderful day and it has a tremendous influence in Shamayim (Heaven).

The Baal HaMaagale Tsedek ztz’l, a student of the Ba’al Shem Tov, states that Purim Katan is also a Yom Tov (a holiday), and it has a great influence in Shamayim.

This day is remembered, and prayers are answered.

All one must do is pray and Yeshuot will come.

Sometimes, the Yeshua takes time, but it will come b’H!

It would be a shame to miss out on such a holy and promising day.

Thank you very much to the wonderful women who made sure I saw this & encouraged it to be shared!
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Why Today, the 23rd of Sivan, is Such an Auspicious Day for Prayer (so let's use it!)

3/6/2021

5 Comments

 
Reposted from previous years:
A wonderful reader just sent me the following information, indicating that today, the 23rd of Sivan (June 26 this year) is an auspicious day for tefillah. 

Why?

Indicated by the following:
  • In Megillas Esther (8:9), the verse states:
ויקראו סופרי המלך בעת ההיא בחודש השלישי הוא חודש סיון בשלושה ועשרים בו... ויכתוב ככל אשר ציווה מרדכי אל היהודים... והעיר שושן צהלה ושמחה

On the 23rd day of the 3rd month--“Hu Chodesh Sivan” -the king’s scribes wrote all that Mordechai had dictated to them.
   
  • Achashveirosh had permitted them to write in the letters--”Katov Be’eynechem--whatever is favorable in your eyes, in the name of the King...”
 
  • On 23 Sivan, 355 BCE, Hashem overturned Haman's decree to destroy the Jewish people.
 
  • The Luach Davar B’Ito writes that one should recite the relevant verses in Megillat Esther (Esther 8:3-17)
 
  • The Lubavitcher Rebbe said, that this is a most auspicious day - as it says in the Megilla that on Chof Gimmel Sivan, "the scribes of the king wrote everything Mordechai commanded".
 
  • The King also refers to the Melech Malchei Ha’malachim. 
 
  • Every Yid can decree whatever he wants, and the scribes of the King will assure that everything is done according to his/her will.
 
  • And from In the Days of Mashiach: 23rd of Sivan - Muchan L'Tovah:
In the name of the Makover Rebbe, Zt’l, the day is Mesugal [auspicious] for nisim v’niflaos [miracles & wonders], as implied by the Pasuk referred to above--“Now, write [on this day] about the Jews what is favorable in your eyes in the name of the King”--which also refers to the King of the World. Thus, just as Mordechai subsequently left the King with many royal garments (ibid., 8:15)…so can we!

(It's very worth reading the whole article.)

May we all find the opportunity to use this special day and may all our tefillot be answered l'tovah.

(And thank you, wonderful reader, who alerted us to this special opportunity.)
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5 Comments

Purim with Rav Miller: Fun Reading!

25/2/2021

0 Comments

 
torasavigdor.org/purim-with-rav-avigdor-miller-full-book/
(A 189-page extravaganza!)

https://torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-pur-purim-and-the-holocaust/

torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-purim-yom-kippur-and-drinking/

torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-esthers-silence/

torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-how-to-be-a-purim-drunk/

torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-the-real-takeaway-of-purim/

https://torasavigdor.org/purim-mesibah-1981-2/

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0 Comments

4 Links to Imbue You with the Purim Spirit (including for Ta'anit Esther)

21/2/2021

2 Comments

 
Here are Purim Q&As from Rav Itamar Schwartz:
http://www.bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi_178_Purim_Living%20with%20Purim%20P'nimius_5781.pdf​

More Purim Q&A from Rav Itamar Schwartz:
http://www.bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Purim.QandA.pdf

Here is a post on the segulah for the fast of Ta'anit Esther:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/a-special-segulah-for-the-fast-of-esther

Here are past Purim posts of this blog:
www.myrtlerising.com/blog/category/purim
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Eretz Yisrael in the North (Photo courtesy of Leonid Radashkovsy @ Pixabay)
2 Comments

Selected Posts to Get You in a Purim State of Mind

8/3/2020

0 Comments

 
You can see past Purim posts by clicking "Purim" in the Archives list on the sidebar, or simply click this link: http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/category/purim

If you don't feel like scrolling through it all, here are the most essential:
  • A Spiritual Remedy Guaranteed to Work on the Fast of Esther (Hidabroot)
  • UPDATED: A Special Segulah for the Fast of Esther!
  • How to Overcome the Terrorist-Klippah of Zeresh
  • How to Drink on Purim: Rav Avigdor Miller
  • Powerful New Video Clip: The Most Effective Response to Jew-Hatred
  • How to Avoid being a Pathological Pollyanna
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