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Here's an important message excerpted from a shiur given by Rav Itamar Schwartz about authentic self-confidence & "believing" in oneself (boldface mine): Firstly we need to understand properly what the concept of self-confidence is. This means a self-denigrating person lacks true self-awareness. One can also extrapolate from this that if a person insists on believing he is the hopeless exception, like if he refuses to believe he too possesses certain abilities & capabilities AND if he refuses to believe he possesses the ability to actualize them... ...it's a kind of heresy. The authentic Torah belief is:
Hashem infused these into every person. So if you think you lack those, then what are you saying about Hashem? What are you saying about authentic Torah knowledge? You MUST believe this! It's daat Torah. (Hopefully, you know this in a happy way.) And like many other real talmidei chachamim, Rav Schwartz encourages us to discover this potential by investing in the following: Think about the good abilities which Hashem has implanted within you, and then think about what your most special ability is, which is hidden within you. To sum up:
 For obvious reasons, the handling of the covid phenomenon has fanned increasing distrust & contempt toward doctors & scientists. Yet it's not true that all doctors & researchers lack integrity & are part of a conspiracy. Likewise, not all are driven by greed & fear & kavod (though the kavod aspect is particularly difficult to rise above; after all, these people don't exactly have a regular mussar-learning session). Some doctors & researchers feel genuine concern about the covid virus & its mutating variants. They want to find a solution They want to make meaningful contributions & help people. They do not want harmful substances in a vaccine. Yet even the well-meaning ones seem affected by fear (though they try to act confident), and the confusing nature of covid isn't helping. But at least these scientists are willing to acknowledge their confounded expectations & the phenomenon's lack of conformity to the understood norms of virology. "We Want Something We Cannot Achieve, And We Don't Know Why."For those who aren't familiar, Nature magazine is a highly respected science magazine. It's a prestigious achievement for a scientist to get his or her work published in Nature. Here's a link to a Nature article about covid & herd immunity: Five reasons why COVID herd immunity is probably impossible www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-00728-2 Note: When reading any science article, it's vital to note when something is a FACT and when the material seeks to promote a theory without actual proof. When there is no hard evidence, the article promotes an idea by using words like "indicate" "appear" "might" "perhaps" "assume" "suggests" "intriguing" and so on. ("Intriguing" is a particularly beloved word among scientists when speaking of unproven theories.) For example, in this Nature article, it's clear they seek to push the vaccine. Fortunately, the entire article is also about their lack of clear proof & data regarding their goals. In fact, they're refreshingly honest about their lack of knowledge & the issues involved! (I really appreciate this; it's not the usual among science articles.) Just to be fair, this article was published in February 2021. They probably know even more—or less—by this time. Anyway...the researchers cheerfully admit to being confounded by several issues. One issue is:
Another is:
Yet another confounding issue is:
For example, a resurgence of covid swept through Brazil. 100% of the infected of the Brazilian city of Manaus tested positive for the Gamma P.1 variant. So one scientist now muses the percentage (60%) may have been an overestimate. But why? And how could that happen? If people were tested, with the test results registered in the clinics, then you have solid data to collect. You see clearly the number of positive results compared to the number of the population. So where is the need for estimating? And get a load of this gem from the same article: The COVID-19 vaccines developed by Moderna and Pfizer–BioNTech, for example, are extremely effective at preventing symptomatic disease, but it is still unclear whether they protect people from becoming infected, or from spreading the virus to others. That sounds so weird to me. The vaccine prevents symptoms, but does not prevent the actual disease? Why? How does that even work? Doesn't that make it NOT a vaccine if it cannot prevent you from actually contracting the disease? It sounds more like a glorified cold 'n' fever symptom reliever. (Is that worth free beer & pizza? For me, that would depend on what kind of beer & pizza...just kidding.) Here's the official dictionary definition of the word "vaccine" (boldface mine): vac·cine /vakˈsēn/ So the vaccinated supposedly walk around feeling fine, not even suspecting they are actually infected with a supposedly dangerous disease? Okay...so even though the above-named vaccines don't seem to actually vaccinate ("provide immunity"), they at least prevent symptoms... Where is the proof? Actually, some evidence appears in this article: https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-00450-z So in conclusion, the vaccine might have limited benefits—just not the one it's promoted as having. Also, there is some indication that while the current covid vaccines do not protect against actual infection by the Delta variant, vaccinated people experience lighter viral loads & fewer symptoms & fewer hospitalizations: www.gov.uk/government/news/vaccines-highly-effective-against-hospitalisation-from-delta-variant (Again, no proof. Indications. Regardless of which side you take regarding the covid vaccine debate, we see anything connected to covid becoming increasingly UNPREDICTABLE.) And whether it harms or helps at all seems more dependent on the attitude of the person being vaccinated, rather than the actual composition of the vaccine. (All this also confirms the absurdity of making this non-vaccinating vaccine obligatory.) What's Going On?The reason why scientists are confounded & bewildered is because we have entered the era of Keter d'reisha d'lo ityada (or Keser d'reisha d'lo isyada, if you prefer Ashkenazi pronunciation). The spiritual light of the 50th gate within the 50th gate [both on the sides of good and evil] is referred to by the Kabbalists as the Reisha D’lo Isyada, “The unknowable beginning.” Just try telling them that. Rav Itamar Schwartz sums up what researchers are documenting (boldface mine): The light of the Keser will continue to be manifest on our world in all kinds of different ways, switching between different forms at alternating times, and it will keep being mysterious to those who see it. May we all merit to experience the light of Redemption right now, do teshuvah from love, and merit Mashiach b'rachamim.  UPDATE: Please see this 12-page PDF booklet too: Accessing Your Previous Lifetime https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Accessing.Your.Previous.Lifetime.pdf Within, you'll discover the 5 sources of love in the soul, how to connect to long-gone tzaddikim, in addition to dealing with your previous lifetimes & this lifetime—all transcribed & translated from lectures by Rav Itamar Schwartz. With all the focus on Rosh Hashanah as the beginning of a new year, plus getting ready for Heavenly Judgment by focusing on Hashem's Kingship, it's easy to overlook that fact that Rosh Hashanah is also Rosh Chodesh Tishrei. To help us make the most of Tishrei, Bilvavi published a PDF booklet of Rav Itamar Schwartz's shiurim for Tishrei: https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Rosh.Chodesh.Tishrei.pdf The sense associated with Tishrei is touch. Without a physical sense of touch, we could not enjoy the relief of a cool breeze on a hot summer day, a rejuvenating swim, or test food to see if it's ready (like the texture of cake or kugel changed by baking or other foods during cooking). A spiritual sense of touch also exists, which we experience through our heart. As Rav Schwartz says on page 4: The month of Tishrei are days in which our heart’s sense of touch is more opened. He explains a major difference between the avodah of men & women (as evidenced by the obligation of men in limud Torah—an obligation not cast upon women) is how men serve Hashem more via the mind while women tend to serve Hashem more via the heart. Of course, he acknowledges that women can & do also serve Hashem via the mind (attested to by the many women today who take upon themselves to read mussar & learn many aspects of Torah) & that men also must serve Hashem via the heart. In fact, he notes that in Tishrei—particularly during the 10 Days of Teshuvah—men need to connect to their heart more than ever, even making the heart their main avodah at that time. He also explains the obstacles to avodah via the heart, and why—despite women's innate ability to serve Hashem through the heart—women today struggle to connect with the heart. To remedy this, Rav Schwartz recommends "heart time." During this time, we silence our thoughts to access our soul by tuning in to what's going on in our heart. Basically, you sit with a piece of paper and write out your feelings (page 4): What do you feel all the time? If you're still not sure how to proceed with this exercise, it's explained a lot more there, plus a generous Q&A follows on pages 5-8, providing more guidance. Doing Teshuvah on the Root of All SinAnother aspect of touch is doing teshuvah over the root of all sin: Adam & Chava touching & eating the fruit of the Eitz HaDaat (Tree of Knowledge). Page 11: We all ate from the Eitz HaDaas; we all lost our spiritual sense for touch. The One Time You Can Simply Feel the Reality of HashemRav Schwartz also notes that on Rosh Hashanah, a person can feel Hashem without the exertion usually needed to feel Hashem (page 11): Every day on Rosh HaShanah, this point in time returns, where he can simply feel Hashem. Nice! The Mazal of Tishrei: Moznayim/Scales/LibraOn pages 14-18, Rav Schwartz explains:
The Tribe of Yosef & The Month of TishreiYosef HaTzaddik corresponds to the month of Tishrei. Tishrei contains a spiritually damaged root, much like how Yosef suffered a certain spiritual damage due to his encounter with Potifar's wicked wife. We try to rectify that damage, and the blowing of the shofar plays a powerful role in repairing that damage.  Please note: Rav Itamar Schwartz lovingly opposes all forms of the Internet & has no connection to the Bilvavi site. The Q&As were either recorded during a class given by Rav Schwartz, then transcribed and translated into English, or they are questions people wrote in, and his verbal answer recorded. None of that is FOR the website. It's just something he has done for years (i.e., conduct classes & answer questions). The Bilvavi site was produced by a student of Rav Schwartz (a student who seems to be running it from a Netfree Internet center, and not from his home), and the site is specifically meant to make Rav Schwartz's shiurim & ideas available as kiruv for completely secular people. I do not fit that description, but I obviously use the site anyway. (I can't resist!) The point is that Rav Schwartz has no more connection with the Bilvavi website than Rav Kanievsky does with all the websites that post videos & quotes of him. Please see the Disclaimer here: https://eng.bilvavi.net/opinion/ Last Sukkot (Autumn 2020), it seems like almost every person in my area contracted covid-19. The number reached the thousands. Some people suffered an usually harsh bout of it, frightened by constricted breathing or even needing a ventilator for a couple of days. Out of the thousands, hardly any deaths occurred. I remember 2 for sure, but maybe it was 5? They were all around 80 & in poor health (seemed like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.). One I knew & missed him. Needless to say, every life is precious & we need to take special precautions around vulnerable people. But in my town, this supposedly dangerous epidemic demonstrated a survival rate of close to 100%. Yes, I noticed increased severity in some cases—more hospitalizations than the flu, more severe symptoms—but not MUCH more than any other virus going around. (You can read more about my observations here, along with the comments: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/imagine-theres-no-mediawhat-is-your-personal-reality-of-covid-19) The Most Fearful & Cautious Caught It FirstMy family & I noticed another odd pattern. It seemed that the people most afraid of the virus & sticking closest to the mandated protocols got sick first. Meaning, the people who suffered real anxiety about the virus and were stringent with wearing masks, social distancing, going out only when necessary, learning & davening at home rather than a shul or beit midrash—they ALWAYS caught the virus. And early on too. In contrast, those of us who lacked fear & did not obey the protocols beyond the minimum to keep us out of legal trouble...tended to be fine. One family in our building are Eitznikim. This means they follow Rav Shmuel Auerbach ztz"l. They automatically suspect anything the secular Israeli government does, assuming that even when the government does something good, it's probably for a secretly bad motive. (This is the halachically mandated approach when dealing with confirmed reshaim.) They do their best to act like there is no government (except they do obey normal laws, like speed limits & crossing at the appropriate lights, no stealing or murdering or assaulting or graffiti—which they wouldn't anyway because they are very religious & follow halacha). Their schools were open when everyone else's were closed. They refused to wear masks as much as possible (like only if a cop was around who would penalize them). And so on. They were the last to catch the virus, and I'm not even sure they did. If they did, they experienced a very light case. We also did not fear the virus & did not cling to the mandates, only following what we needed to avoid fines. One son had a confirmed case of covid-19 and simply stayed quarantined in yeshivah with all his friend also diagnosed with covid-19. They had a great time together. Nobody died either. Baruch Hashem. Against All Logic & ExpectationI know a child born with a sensitive respiratory system. (His mother thinks it's because of the meconium he inhaled at birth combined with the choking vacuuming of his lungs immediately upon his birth. In other words, she thinks his lungs were traumatized.) He often coughed through entire nights as a baby and as a toddler, was also prone to colds & coughs & fevers. They tried vitamins, herbal remedies of all kinds, essential oils, a vaporizer, acupressure, the ventilator machine at the doctor's office—nothing helped. This went on and on for the first years of his life, with him missing the equivalent of an entire month of preschool during the winter. When covid-19 made its appearance, his mother wondered whether her son might catch a nasty case of it because he seemed so vulnerable to respiratory viruses. Oddly, the first winter covid hit Israel, her son was LESS sick than he'd ever been. He had one phlegmy cough that lasted a few weeks—and that was it. The next time covid went around, she gave him a couple of doses of Sambucol (a brand of elderberry syrup made with vitamin C, and some with zinc too) for the first time, and he remained healthy throughout the entire season. In fact, she said she's astounded that davka during this covid epidemic, her son has never been healthier! And remember, this is a kid who was born susceptible to respiratory viruses & whose illnesses NEVER responded to ANY treatment. What gives? Did We Have Covid? We'll Never Know.But what about the rest of us in my family? Not sure. We were taking the recommended vitamins, like D3, K2, vitamin C, zinc, etc. During that time, my husband seemed tired, then developed a low fever. This isn't uncommon with him, that periodically he appears mildly ill, then is back to himself within a couple of days. So I didn't think much of it, especially as he wasn't coughing or wheezing or stuffy at all. Then I developed a mild fever and achy legs. But we still managed just fine, each taking turns to make meals or tidy up something or care for our youngest child. (The older kids still at home managed themselves & despite constant exposure to us, remained healthy, as did the youngest—baruch Hashem, bli ayin hara.) I considered getting tested. But because I'm not a completely irresponsible person, I didn't want to take the bus to get to the testing center because I knew the masks are not effective and did not want to infect anyone on the bus. After all, elderly people, babies, and other vulnerable people ride the bus. So I considered calling for a taxi, but again, because I'm not completely irresponsible, I would tell the taxi service upfront that I suspect I'm infected with covid-19. But then I thought, even if they would take me, is it responsible to get my germs in the taxi, knowing the passengers after me would be directly exposed? What if they're vulnerable to complications from the virus? (To emphasize: The mandate to go out for testing when you have symptoms is irresponsible & illogical. Most Israelis do not have cars. It forces people to go out among others DAVKA when they're sick & contagious!) So then I considered walking to the center. But it's uphill and my fever hovered around 99 degrees and my legs were achy, it was hot outside, and the mask mandate was still on. So I didn't think I could make it on foot. My husband didn't want to get tested at all because he didn't feel any different than any other time he got sick. In fact, he felt better than during other illnesses. We were also both of the notion that a mild fever & achy legs didn't NEED to be covid-19. After all, there are many other viruses in life. So we didn't get tested. As I recovered within 4 days, I lost my sense of smell. I didn't notice at first because I never had much sense of smell. I mostly enjoyed this lack of smell, however. A lot of smells in life aren't so pleasant. So it was like having time off from unpleasant smells. To experiment, I opened a bottle of vinegar and inhaled as hard as I could. Only with intense inhaling could I vaguely smell the vinegar. Cool! Cinnamon could also be smelled only with intense effort. On the other hand, I burned a pot of peas because I did not smell the initial scorching. I also sprayed too much insect repellant at mosquitoes because I could not smell it. I also baked chicken into unappetizing dryness because my meat oven lacks a timer and could not smell the baking process (and I forgot to keep track of the time myself). Furthermore, many foods had a bitter taste or bitter aftertaste. But now all my senses are back to normal. ♪ Where, O Where Have My Little Antibodies Gone? Where, O Where Can They Be?♫Around 6 months later, my husband got tested for antibodies. None. (Or so few, the results are considered negative.) A couple of weeks ago (meaning, around 10 months since we think we might have had covid-19), I also got tested for antibodies. None. (Or so few, the results are considered negative.) The receptionist at the clinic, who is also a neighbor, said, "I also don't have antibodies." "What?" I said. "But you had such a harsh case of it!" She nodded. She was one of the people who got hit hard by it, feeling awful & coughing, and then it just wouldn't leave her. I don't remember when exactly she got infected, but I remember her at the Megillah reading on Purim, and was shocked to see her still feeling so poorly. Yet even such a case still left her with no antibodies. "But I got the vaccine," she said with an air of solid assurance. She believes in the vaccine. Look, I don't blame her. She suffered such a harsh bout of covid, it must be frightening to think of ever getting it again. But what I still don't understand (and I tried to research this, but came up with nothing) is how a virus that—most oddly—leaves no antibodies & therefore no immunity...how can there be a vaccine for that? The virus itself does not produce immunity, so how can a vaccine made from the virus produce immunity? Why are Things So Unpredictable?It's all unpredictable. We're seeing such lack of predictability & reliability during this covid era. As mentioned above, we saw people who took precautions get sick while people who took little to no precautions either remained healthy or experienced a very light case of sickness. Some vulnerable people with a low immune system remained healthy while robust people got infected. Weather is going to extremes in many places (the unprecedented heat wave in rainy Seattle, the unseasonal & unexpected flooding in Germany, the bizarre freeze across arid sunny Texas, etc.) People are also changing. The appliance repair man we trusted for 10 years suddenly turned into a cheat & a deceiver. And he was genuinely trustworthy for all these 10 years; it wasn't that we were naïve & only realized it now. He really WAS the perfect appliance repairman who could always be trusted for good work & good advice. Alas, no more. On the other hand, another person I deal with at times has been very difficult for years. Suddenly, this person has become a lot more pleasant with much better character. It's been months and this person has remained a new improved self. (So there is happy unpredictability too, not just stressful unpredictability.) Those are just a couple of examples. Why are things getting so unpredictable? Well, it all comes back to the spiritual reasons for this. Rav Itamar Schwartz repeatedly explains how the world changed in 5760 (1999-2000): In that year, the power of Amalek began to dominate the world, and it will be that way until This World ends. (If you want to know what major events happened in the world for that Hebrew year, please see here from September 10, 1999 {Rosh Hashanah 5760} until here September 30, 2000 {Rosh Hashanah 5761}. The Twin Towers attack occurred at the very end of 5761.) We are also in the middle of the war of Gog & Magog: ...it is already going on! There have always been wars taking place in the final years of our world. But all of these wars are just the final outcome of something deeper and more internal. And also that we have entered the era of Keser/Keter d'reisha d'lo ityada—in other words, the height of the unknowable, the height of unpredictability (boldface mine): Now that the light of the Keser has descended onto our world, along with a corresponding level of tumah (the 50th level of holiness versus the 50th level of impurity) to counter it, the world will not go back to way it was before... And: The light of the Keser will continue to be manifest on our world in all kinds of different ways, switching between different forms at alternating times, and it will keep being mysterious to those who see it. This will keep going until Mashiach comes, says Rav Schwartz. Note: I quote Rav Schwartz a lot, which may give a misleading impression about him. So it's worth noting that Rav Itamar Schwartz is against all forms of the Internet & has no connection to the Bilvavi site. The Q&As were either recorded during a class given by Rav Schwartz, then transcribed and translated into English, or they are questions people wrote in, and his verbal answer recorded. None of that is FOR the website. It's just something he has done for years (i.e., give classes & answer questions). The Bilvavi site was produced by a student of Rav Schwartz (a student who seems to be running it from a Netfree Internet center, and not from his home), and the site is specifically meant to make Rav Schwartz's shiurim & ideas available as kiruv for completely secular people. I do not fit that description, but I obviously use the site anyway. I can't resist! The point is that Rav Schwartz has no more connection with the Bilvavi website than Rav Kanievsky does with all the websites that post videos & quotes of him. See the Disclaimer here: https://eng.bilvavi.net/opinion/  This post is a continuation of the previous post: the-message-of-the-yellow-star.html If you haven't already, it's important to read the preface at the beginning of the previous post there before continuing with this post. To Register or Not?Another ordinance within the Holocaust that caused a variety of responses was the order for Jews to register themselves to receive food ration cards. Many Jews did so automatically. After all, an alternative never occurred to them, both because they felt compelled to automatically follow the oppressive Nazi orders & because of the difficulty—or even impossibility—of obtaining food without the ration cards. (Another aspect of the Holocaust many misunderstand is what stress & lack of food—combined with harsh physical labor for many—to do one's physiology by inducing lethargy, which makes it hard to think or function. In other words, if you have a full stomach, you probably don't get it.) Yet some Jews hesitated. They realized registration could mean death. Once on the Nazi list, the Nazis knew to come after them. Also, horrific consequences sometimes followed when the Nazis realized someone was missing. But if the missing person wasn't on the list, then the Nazis would never know. After intense deliberation, some felt they could not obtain food any other way, so they registered. Yet others tried not to register. Some exhorted their friends & relatives to avoid registering, insisting it would bring sure death. Despite that pressure—and the very real danger of being registered—many simply could not afford to pass on the food ration cards. Who was right? For most Jews in that situation, both decisions brought death. Again, as with the yellow star, an objectively "correct" decision did not exist. So much depended on one's individual circumstances and mazal (Divinely orchestrated "luck"). In addition, both the external circumstances & each person's individual circumstances kept changing. Whatever one chose to do, the results were never certain. Story #1: Refused to Register Many who refused to register were religious Jews who strove to depend on Hashem for their needs. As Leichu recalls in her memoir, A Daughter of Two Mothers: "Mama decided nothing good could come of registering. Indeed, because we weren't registered, we didn't receive food ration cards. But Mama claimed that she was registered with our Father in Heaven, and He would take care of our sustenance." In contrast, Leichu's mother insisted on Leichu sewing the yellow star onto her coat even before the official date, refusing to allow Leichu out of the house until she did it. Because the Nazi soldiers were trigger-happy, Leichu's mother feared they might shoot a Jew without a yellow star even before the date of its official legalization. And it seems that both Leichu & her mother shared a Jewish "look," which meant they couldn't get away with not wearing the yellow star. So again, we see the terrible cheshbonot Jews needed to make—life-and-death decisions—each based on one's individual factors and subject to uncertainty regardless of how wisely one analyzed the factors. Neither Leichu nor her mother seemed to suffer from wearing the yellow star (though they also avoided going out much). Did wearing the yellow star save them from being immediately deported or shot? Yes, it seems so. They were obviously Jewish, so not wearing the yellow star would bring them dangerous attention. Did not registering save them? Kind of. The night before the deportation of Vinograd's Jews to a ghetto, a Roma/Gypsy woman knocked on the door to invite Leichu and her mother to escape with the Roma couple into the Carpathian mountains. (The Roma woman, Leichu, and Leichu's mother all knew & liked each other from before.) Leichu's mother, claiming she could not pose as a Roma woman, insisted that Leichu should go with the Roma couple; Leichu could pose as their daughter (especially since Leichu had mastered the Roma language). Due to an infection from a splinter before antibiotics, Leichu's mother suffered an amputation just below her right elbow, something she worried would also interfere with their escape & hiding. So at her mother's insistence, Leichu went with the Roma couple and survived while her mother entered the ghetto, then perished in the terrible conditions of the boxcars on the way to Auschwitz. Because Leichu hadn't registered, did that stop the Nazis from hunting her or from harassing her mother when they came to deport her mother (i.e., if they'd registered, the Nazis could have said, "We have 2 people registered here—where is the other?")? We'll never know, but it's possible. The point is that many decisions needed to be made and while many people went along with the orders (because they had no other choice), others deliberated, and even exhorted, "No, THIS is the right decision! THIS will help; THAT will kill!" And sometimes, they ended up being right. And sometimes not. Either way they decided & regardless of where their fate lay in the end, it wasn't their fault because of the unknown factors affecting each person's mazal. Story #2: Initially Refused to Register; Did Not Register Entire Family In Yaakov Astor's incredible biography of his mother-in-law, Rachel Blum, Nothing Bad Ever Happens: The Incredible True Story of One Young Girl Alone Escaping the Nazis, Rachel's father initially resisted registering because he felt doing so would make them more visible to the Nazis. In other words, his deliberations concluded that registration seemed more dangerous than not. However, as the situation worsened, the ghetto Judenrat convinced him that registering was more helpful than not. Without registration, he could not receive food rations or a place to live. Until that point, they survived mostly on Rachel's begging & obtaining food in other ways. They lived in abandoned cellars. (Rachel was around 12 or 13 at this time.) So her father registered, but this did not save him. In fact, it seems that as things deteriorated, survival was not possible for him either way. For him, not registering did not help. But registering did not help either. His decisions were logical hishtadlut—but never the determining factor. However, it appears that Rachel never registered. She survived by escaping the ghetto and living with a non-Jewish family until the end of the war. Did avoiding registration save Rachel? It seems it contributed to her survival. It kept her name off the Nazi lists, so they weren't looking for her specifically. But she nearly died several times, both before the ghetto and after. So not registering was far from THE reason she survived. So once again, we see how these decisions played a part in survival, but did not determine survival. While Hashem remained hidden during this horrific time, He also remained intimately involved in less revealed ways, which is why—even in the most horrific & heartbreaking accounts—you see miracles in every survivor's story. The Light of Mashiach: Unpredictability Encourages Reliance on Hashem In our times, the world is rushing toward Mashiach. As Rav Itamar Schwartz notes, the light of Keter started being revealed way back in the time of the Baal Shem Tov. More recently we've entered the dimension of reisha d'lo etyada (the Unknowable Beginning/Head—meaning, the height of unpredictability—an idea also from Rav Schwartz). Things will continue to become less reliable. This comprises part of Mashiach because the entire Geula will occur with unpredictability. Despite how stressful it is, this same unpredictability encourages us to rely on Hashem as it becomes increasingly clear we cannot rely on anything else. Just one example: A light will be unsheathed that will burn the undeserving while nurturing the deserving—much the same way how the same sunlight hardens eggs yet softens ice, or how the same sunlight whitens cloth yet darkens skin. People who feel sure they're worthy will discover they aren't, while those unsure of their worthiness might discover they are. It's the same light, but induces a vastly different effect on each one, all depending on the individual characteristics inside. Unpredictable. The unknowable. Because of this, it's vitally important to focus on the deeper messages & our own inner avodah, even as we must practically deal with the very real events going on around us. For the previous post connected to this one: the-message-of-the-yellow-star.html For more about this Keter d'reisha d'lo etyada phase: https://question.bilvavi.net/blog/2021/08/03/radla-the-unknowable-head/ For more about dealing with this phase, please see: https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Faith.and.Trust.In.Uncertain.Times.pdf (It was originally put together several months ago, but the ideas & advice contained within still very much apply now.) With all the well-meaning talk about self-esteem over recent decades, we haven't seen our society become kinder or better as a result of all the talk & efforts at improving self-esteem. Yes, individual exceptions exist. However, as a whole, working toward self-esteem has not been helpful—mostly because the idea developed & exists within the vacuum of atheism (even when promoted by religious people). The popular idea of self-esteem exists without Hashem or the reality of the Divinely given human soul & the Tzelem Elokim/Image of God imprinted within every human being. Here is an authentic Torah view of the topic (geared specifically toward Jews) from a Q&A with Rav Itamar Schwartz (boldface & underline my own addition): February 15, 2018  A goldfinch under the sky of Eretz Yisrael I came across some interesting Q&As with Rav Itamar Schwartz of Bilvavi. First of all, someone asked about the paths of Chabad Chassidus & Breslov Chassidus with relation to the new dimension in which we now find ourselves. This dimension is called Keter—or Keser by Ashkenazim—which means "crown" (and is part of the reason for the shape & name of the corona virus). Another new aspect of our world is known as reisha d'lo etyada (The Unknowable Beginning/Head)—also known by its contraction Radl"a. (Ashkenazi pronunciation: reisha d'lo esyada — רישא דלא אתידע) The Keter d'reisha d'lo etyada (Keter of The Unknowable Beginning/Head) is the path of the light of Mashiach—the path we're careening down right now. This new dimension explains why everything is so contradictory & unpredictable. Even when things fall into routine again, something happens to upend it all the sudden. So what do Chabad & Breslov have to do with this? The Path to the Integration of All Paths TogetherHere's a question regarding Chassidus & Radl"a: The Rav explained that within Chassidus (the revelations of the Baal Shem Tov, which started to reveal Radl”a, the unknowable head), there were two branching revelations: (To make it simpler, I'm going to cut & paste prime statements from different Bilvavi sources, but provide you with the links so you can read them in full in the original.) Rav Schwartz answers with a fascinating & complex answer, only a bit of which appears here: The path of Keser d’Radl”a is the light of Mashiach which is shining increasingly stronger the closer we get to Mashiach. Keter contains 2 sides:
A student of Rav Schwartz further explains: Elsewhere in a response about the different approaches of Chassidus, the Rav explained that Chochmah of Radl”a is explained in the path of Chabad (i.e. Tanya, Torah Ohr, Reshab) whereas Binah of Radl”a is explained in the path of Breslev. And Now We Understand the Growth of Chabad & Breslev TodaySo the general path of Chassidus were necessary to reveal the light of The Unknowable Beginning/Head—which, once we hit the Keter aspect of it (as we have), leads to the light of Mashiach. And that's the tremendous benefit the Baal Shem Tov's Chassidus brought to the world. Furthermore, I find it interesting that out of all the Chassidic paths, davka Chabad & Breslev have expanded more than any other. It wasn't always like this. In the early part of the last century, Breslev was this tiny Chassidus (and seen as frighteningly eccentric or an object of mockery by others) with a shul in Uman & a tiny shul in Meah Shearim. Fellow Breslevers responded in disbelief when the Breslev tzaddikim Rav Rosen & Rav Bender insisted on building a huge Breslev shul—these tzaddikim knew they'd need it. But most of the other Breslevers simply could not imagine such growth. Yet here we are today, with that large Breslev shul put to good use & Breslev schools, shuls, and communities around the world. Prior to World War II, Gerrer Chassidus attracted many Polish chassidim with its dynamism. Especially for young chassidim, it was the "in" Chassidus to join. Happily, Gerrer communities still exist today, but lack the continuously expanding momentum of Chabad & Breslev. There are many wonderful Chassidic groups thriving today. (Satmar, for example, has done amazing things in America.) But only Chabad & Breslev spanned the Jewish people to the extent of comprising such a wide variety & quantity of Jews—beyond families of original Breslevers or Chabadnikim, you have formerly secular Jews, converts, Jews of all different ethnicities & races, and Jews from other Chassidic or Litvish groups. Again, other groups are doing wonderful things for Am Yisrael. As Rav Schwartz says, all the paths are necessary. But the sheer expanse of Chabad & Breslev (including a wealth of books published in several languages to assist one's learning of Chabad or Breslev Chassidus, along with Chabad's globally known mivtzoim & Chabad houses) is unparalleled. Appreciating Each OtherOnce again, we see why the need exists for different groups with different emphases. (All based purely on authentic Torah sources, of course.) Keter needs both its masculine side AND its feminine side. A masculine-only Keter remains unbalanced; it lacks the feminine Binah Breslev brings. Likewise, a feminine-only Keter remains unbalanced; it lacks the masculine Chochmah brought by Chabad. So even as we each follow our own soul-path connecting to our own individual soul-root, we can also appreciate the necessity of the other legitimate paths. And if anyone would like to read Rav Schwartz's powerful statement regarding the Yemenite path, please read this: https://question.bilvavi.net/blog/2021/08/11/the-path-of-teimanim-yemenites/  Flowers near a Netanya beach in Eretz Yisrael (Image by Rachel Klein) UPDATE: Please note that Rav Itamar Schwartz strongly & lovingly opposes Internet use. He has no connection to the Bilvavi website, which was established by one of his students (probably via a charedi Internet center using Netfree) solely for the purpose of kiruv for secular Jews. See here for more: https://eng.bilvavi.net/opinion/ Here are links to transcripts of talks by Rav Itamar Schwartz of Bilvavi: The mazal of Elul is Betulah/Virgo: rosh-chodesh-mazal-009-elul The essence of Elul is Ma'aseh/Action https://bilvavi.net/english/essence-month-007-elul-action Its essence is also Ani L'Dodi v'Dodi Li: https://bilvavi.net/english/essence-month-008-elul-ani-l-dodi-v-dodi-li The above are also discussed in the Elul PDF of Rav Itamar Schwartz's shiurim: https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Elul.Talks.pdf Elul corresponds to the Tribe of Gad: https://bilvavi.net/english/rosh-chodesh-tribe-006-elul-gad Rosh Chodesh Elul starts Saturday night, so this is a good time to look at getting into the Elul mindset. One valuable aspect of the Elul PDF is how Rav Schwartz discusses his own struggle in his late teens (pages 2-6). He was an FFB top learner in Ponevezh yeshivah, but felt empty inside. He tried different things, like a hotel vacation, plus new & supposedly exciting food, but immediately realized the fleetingness of such things. (And also, such alternatives aren't always as enjoyable as promoted.) But the young Rav Schwartz turned to Hashem, realizing that rather than looking outward for fulfillment, the solution lay in delving deeper into Judaism—deeper into one's heart. The importance of reading this story lies in its commonality (many people encounter this challenge) and also how he eventually overcame this emptiness. In popular reading, the challenged young man or woman finds "fulfillment" by secularizing life—sometimes minimally & sometimes by going completely off the derech. Negativity & anti-spirituality win the headlines & space in so many publications & websites, so it's easy to assume one's emptiness derives from too much religiosity rather than superficial religiosity. Yet for those who respond to empty mitzvot by taking the plunge into a deeper & richer Yiddishkeit (including those who left & then came back to take the plunge), it's a deeply personal journey...so it's not discussed as much as the secular option. Add to that the reality of when such people discuss their journey of deepening enrichment, they often face hostility & rejection by those who either don't wish to try it or who rejected the deeper option and chose the wider world instead. It's clear that Rav Schwartz was a deeply sensitive young man. I'm grateful for his courage and sincere desire to encourage us by sharing a deeply personal part of his own journey.  A FIELD OF FLOWERS IN ERETZ YISRAEL (Image by Yael Orrelle) With Rosh Chodesh Av on the threshold, Bilvavi provides us with extra insights from Rav Itamar Schwartz. Here is a link to a PDF of his insights into Av: https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Rosh.Chodesh.Av.pdf The basics of Av:
Interestingly, the Torah pinpoints 2 different Tribes as representing a lion. Most of us know that Yehudah is associated with the lion, but even though Dan is generally associated with a serpent (from the side of holiness), Moshe Rabbeinu's blessing associates Dan with the lion. Within the PDF, Rav Schwartz explains how Mashiach will a represent a holy union between Yehudah (on Mashiach's father's side) and Dan (on his mother's side). Yehudah is the son of Leah Imeinu while Dan is the son of Bilha, under the auspices of Rachel Imeinu. 5 Minutes to Utilize the Power of Rosh ChodeshIt's also a good idea to take 5 minutes & ponder the questions Rav Avigdor Miller advises us to ask ourselves on Rosh Chodesh (originally appearing on pages 3-4 in Parshas Pinchos 4: The Light of Renewal):
Bein Adam LaMakom (interpersonal interactions):
Shabbat:
(If you miss out doing it on Rosh Chodesh itself, the day after is also excellent. It's teshuvah, so any time you do it is absolutely fabulous.) And if you didn't see them already, here are past posts about the influence of Av: How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz & Savage Av Dealing with the Mazal of Tammuz & Av http://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/category/tisha-bav  |
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Myrtle Rising
I'm a middle-aged housewife and mother in Eretz Yisrael who likes to read and write a lot. 
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