Category: Rav Itamar Schwartz

A New Book to Help You Understand an Ancient Personality System based on Torah Sources

7/5/2020

I don't remember when I first heard of the 4-Elements theory of personality.

The idea of both nature and the human psyche being rooted in the 4 elements of fire, water, air, and earth is something you hear about from time to time because it was very popular among ancient Greek philosophers.

Later, I realized that ancient Jewish Sages also discussed the 4 elements, but I never paid much attention until reading Ahavat Kedumim (A Commentary on The Lost Princess) by Rav Ofer Erez.

There, Rav Erez presents a brief discussion of the 4 elements as they relate to the human psyche and how to use that knowledge for middot work.

That's when I realized this was a big thing in Judaism.

This realization was strengthened upon encountering Rav Itamar Schwartz's writings. Rav Schwartz leans heavily toward using the 4 elements as a tool to do teshuvah and rectify one's soul at the deepest level.

Also, Rav Schwartz provides a list of where the 4 elements are rooted in Jewish sources: Torah Sources of the 4 Elements (Hebrew Only).

It's important to note that even if a Torah book was only printed later, most of its sources are rooted in even more ancient sources that were either transmitted orally or written down in a book that got lost over the millennia.

(For example, some sources say that Avraham Avinu wrote several books and only one is said to be in existence today, but we no longer have the rest of them. Please see HERE for mention of that.)

Also, in Hebrew, the 4 elements are often referred in various sources as the 4 yesodot — but also the 4 yesodin, the 4 teva'im, or the 4 gufim, and maybe other terms.

If you look on page 3, section bet/2 of the above-linked pamphlet of sources, you'll see that Sefer Yetzirah Perek 3: Mishna 3 mentions the 3 amot (air, water, fire), stating that the heavens were initially created from fire, and the land (earth) was created from water, and that air is the a type of defining buffer between the fire and the water.

It explains other things about it too.

Anyway, I started to realize that the 4 Elements was an authentically Jewish way to understand personality and middot, and I started reading what Rav Schwartz says about it, yet I couldn't pin down my own elements and got lost in it all.

To use the system correctly, it's essential to know your base element and then the main influencing element, and then the next influence after that, and so on.

Recently, Rivka Levy published a new self-help book called People Smarts: The System: Understand yourself, understand others, and crush your stress.

This book gave me all the insight necessary to figure out the 4-Element composition of my psyche because I was really stuck until I read this book.

The book also offers other helpful insights into understanding stress reactions and finding the balance in yourself.

If you wish to explore a personality system rooted in authentic Torah sources, People Smarts is a great place to start.

Please note: The author in no way asked or even hinted to me to recommend her book. She did not offer me a free copy in return for a review; I bought the book myself. She has no clue I'm posting this. I just found her book genuinely helpful and honestly believe that others will benefit too.

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The #1 Way to Protect Yourself from Plague, Disease, and Other Illnesses

2/3/2020

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DISCLAIMER: These types of topics should always be read with the awareness that some illnesses are preordained, like maybe as a rectification for acts committed in a previous life. Or maybe something to do with the parents (which can also be affected by what's discussed below). We sometimes see babies born with disease or disability, for example. They haven't even had a chance to be influenced by the icky stuff in life! Obviously, there are other things going on. So please keep that in mind as you read the following...

Upon re-reading Rav Itamar's Schwartz's booklet on the Erev Rav (a collection of different lectures given on the topic), one section (pages 43-46) jumped out at me: Protection from Illness.

He notes that the impurity of a world without Torah is what makes a Jew sick, pointing out how Yaakov Avinu only got sick once he ventured into the impure environment of Egypt.

(Needless to say, this means specifically the impurity of the non-Jewish world, and not the wonderful non-Jews who strive to follow the 7 Mitzvot of Noach. A truly non-Jewish world rejects Torah, instead of embracing Torah via the 7 Noachide Laws, like a sincere non-Jew does.)

Quoting the Chatam Sofer (Shabbat 86b), Rav Schwartz explains that we cannot bring medical proof from non-Jewish medical healing on how to heal illnesses found in Jews — even when it appears to be the same illness.

Does this mean that, say, studies showing that extra doses of vitamin C & zinc reduce the length of illness don't apply to Jews?

So I'll risk extrapolating that yes, it could mean that vitamin C & zinc will work fine for Jews too, but it doesn't have to mean that. In other words, the studies don't prove that it will be effective for Jews, but yes, it can also be effective for Jews.

(Interestingly, recently, there was an unusually high rate of measles in the frum community, despite frum communities being generally pro-vaccination and therefore comprising a high percentage of people vaccinated against measles. Could the Chatam Sofer's chiddush explain that? I don't know enough about the whole issue to say for sure, but it's intriguing.)

Rav Schwartz says:

Hashem says, “I will separate you from the nations.”

This is the key we need in order to merit the promise that Hashem made to us: “Any illness which I placed upon Egypt, I will not place upon you, for I am Hashem, your healer.”

That is how we are truly healed – when we are separated from the nations.

But when we are influenced by the nations, we are susceptible to their various sicknesses which Hashem brings upon them.

The more a person shows that he is of the seed of Amo Yisrael (His Nation Israel), the more he expresses the Yisrael within him...the more he merits Hashem's Healing.

In other words, the more we think & act as if we're saying, "I'm one of Yours, Hashem!"— then the more Hashem treats us like one of His.

You Make Me Sick, Mitzrayim!

When did the deadly plague appear among the Jews in the Midbar?

Only when they allowed their hearts to hanker after the influences of Egypt.

Bamidbar 11:4 - 5:

But the multitude among them began to have strong cravings. Then even the children of Israel once again began to cry, and they said, "Who will feed us meat? We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.

Yes, the main kvetchers were from the Erev Rav, but the Yisraelites allowed themselves to be influenced by all the fracas too.

Yet despite the powerful sway of the Erev Rav, Rav Schwartz reminds us that we also have the power to NOT be influenced.

The proof is that in Egypt, we did not change our Hebrew names, our refined Jewish style of clothing, or our holy Hebrew language.

Apparently, that's all the proof we need.

We Must Trace the Source of Anything We Encounter

So, tachlis, what do we do?

How do we prevent illness?

We prevent illness by distancing ourselves from non-Torah influences.

How do we do that?

First of all, says Rav Schwartz, we must trace the source of anything we encounter.

Is it an authentically Jewish source or a non-Jewish source?

In other words, is it sourced in holiness...or not?

In this lecture, Rav Schwartz specifically discusses the following issues:

The compulsion of some to immediately seek to bring any new non-Jewish product or idea into the frum world (with kosher certification & rabbinic approval, of course).

The enthusiasm to get a hechsher on as many different foods as possible or to create a kosher imitation.

Yet what, for example (says Rav Schwartz), is the root desire of those who seek to either kasher non-kosher foods or to create a kosher imitation?

Giving into physical desires, making money, garnering accolades for this "accomplishment"...

Now, maybe sometimes there is a holy reason for doing the above.

For example, the wide availability of hechsherim means that secular Jews have more of a chance of eating kosher food (even without meaning to).

But generally Rav Schwartz's stated reasons are the real ones. Not always, but mostly.

New styles of clothing are created by some of the most degenerate people in the world.

Miniskirts, high heels, and tight pants are some of the least uncomfortable clothes to wear.

Waist-length loose hair is also a major pain in the neck (and in a shaitel, a massive expense in both the purchase & the upkeep).

Yet look at how some otherwise frum people insist on wearing them.

Their insistence is certainly not out of a dedication to uphold Jewish values because miniskirts, high heels, tight pants (for either men or women), and long loose hair (for either men or women, real hair or wigs) are not tsnius.

So what is the source? We all know it's not holiness.

It's something else.

Going off on a tangent: It is my secret wish to go back to the clothing of our Imahot – long, loose robes. With the right kind of design and fabric, these can look elegant enough for a wedding. And it's not just me. I have a chassidish friend with impressive yichus who secretly wishes the same. Maybe someday, we'll no longer be confined to wearing modern Edom-style shirts & skirts...sigh...

Many books today are authored by frum people borrowing non-Torah ideas.

And yes, Rav Schwartz acknowledges that they get rabbinical approval for these books, even when the entire book is in the spirit of the non-Jewish ideas about life.

(Usually, rabbanim do not read the entire book; they judge by a sampling & their estimation of the author's character, plus their good-hearted desire to help a fellow Jew with his or her parnassah.)

This happens quite often with books on psychology & psychiatry, although we must commend those frum professionals who gradually broke out of the mold of their university indoctrination and started to sift through the sources, in addition to using their own experience, research, and study of Torah sources.

Rav Schwartz says in other lectures that some frum people are writing legitimate stuff and also Rav Avigdor Miller said that some frum psychologists are using genuinely kosher techniques but speaking with psychology-jargon so that other will take them seriously.

The supposedly frum chinuch today is another massive culprit of dressing up non-Jewish ideas in Torah garb, then selling it to unsuspecting new mothers.

(Actually, I was a suspicious young mother myself because a lot of what I came across presented as "authentic Torah chinuch!" reminded me of all the Western child psychology I'd been reading in my teens & twenties. But my peers were uncomfortable with my questioning the methods we were learning, so there was no one to discuss it with, and thus it took me a while to break away from it. Reading Miriam Adahan's Awareness and then a talk with my rebbetzin really helped me cut free from it all.)

It's important to note that the people selling Western child psychology as "authentic Torah chinuch!" are not tricksters, but simply unaware that it's not actually Torah chinuch.

Rav Schwartz himself says that some of the people misguiding others are not bad, but well-intended. For example, those who are, say, trying to get charedim into the army aren't always Erev Rav, but a Yisrael-soul convinced it's doing a good thing. They're not evil, just misguided.

I'm not trying to rip apart these chinuch "experts," especially since they have such good intentions. However, they often hurt as much as they help. The assistance and the damage goes hand-in-hand.

I can't help being concerned that parents be made aware of this so they don't suffer like I and many others have.

Having said that, there are definitely people who ARE offering authentic Torah chinuch and who help much more than they hurt.

May they be blessed.

Our external appearance, our homes, and our actions may seem like pure Torah, but our minds & hearts often yearn for aspects of Mitzrayim (i.e., the non-Jewish influences).

This is a huge challenge. As written in a previous post, the secular world has everything down to a science.

They carefully study & calculate how to attract your very brain.

Songs are carefully composed so that just hearing a briefest sample of a song tricks your brain into wanting more.

Movies and TV shows are timed exactly to what your brain wants regarding scenes and turning points.

Advertisements spend a fortune on research to cultivate images and words to attack your brain into thinking a certain product or idea is irresistible.

Video games also hit you right in your brain.

Facebook has long been famous for their carefully crafted addictive aspects.

The list goes on and on.

How to Fight the Mitzrayim from Within

The best way to fight the root desire for outside influences is to:

Bring more authentically Jewish influences into your life.

Read material by real talmidei chachamim. (Nefesh Chaya by Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus is a wonderful resource for women. It's also a real page-turner.)
Read well-written books about tzaddikim, like Rebbetzin Kanievsky.
Listen to or read transcripts of Rav Avigdor Miller when he starts describing how the non-Torah lifestyle & values appear through Torah eyes. (It's pretty witty too.)
Listen to Jewish music composed by Jews with pure souls: chassidic niggunim or Sephardi piyutim are a great place to start.
Do mitzvot. Learn Torah. Give tzedakah. Do chessed.
Pay attention to talking like a Jew — what slang do we use? Do we pottymouth? Lashon hara? Any meaningless chatter or unnecessary clowning around?
Talk to Hashem as you would a Best Friend Who truly cares about you and genuinely wants to listen to you.

These are just some suggestions to start. You probably have your own.

Also (and I feel kind of silly saying this), but I'm obviously not any different or better than anyone reading this. All the above are things that I've either had to face with myself or am working on now.

I'm learning new aspects and gaining new insights all the time — sometimes on a daily basis.

Basically, you want to keep adding light to whatever your own personal darkness is.

May we all succeed in meriting a complete healing of both the body & the soul.

To read the sources referenced in this post, please see:

Rav Avigdor Miller on Choosing the Right Psychologist
Erev Rav Talks (a collection of drashos given by Rav Itamar Schwartz)
Erev Rav Talks, pg. 34, It’s Not A Financial Issue of the Government (when he says "In fact, those people [who are pushing for the draft] might not even be aware that the ‘Sitra Achara’ is controlling them, and they might even be earnest in their intentions. Some of them actually are earnest, and they aren’t trying to be wicked. They simply don’t understand what they are doing to us.")
Kosher Novels, Films & Shows, especially when he says toward the end: "Only the books and sefarim which have been written by those who served Hashem through a richly developed internal world of their own – whether the author was a man or a woman – are appropriate for a bas Yisrael (Jewish girl/woman) to read. There aren’t that many of these books/sefarim available, but they do exist."
Why This Generation is So Astounding

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What is the Authentic Torah Response to Jew-Hatred?

29/12/2019

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I guess we've all heard by now about the shocking stabbing attack in Monsey, along with other incidents of Jew-hatred in both New York and London.

Please continue saying Tehillim for the complete refuah of Yehosef ben Perel, Meir Yehosef ben Vittel, Shloime ben Vittel and Naftali Tzvi ben Gila.(Source)

And these are just the latest.

Often, these are followed by calls to make aliyah.

As a Jew who lives in Eretz Yisrael, I obviously think living in Eretz Yisrael is a great idea.

Also, I've grown to both like & admire many of this blog's chutznik readers who've left comments and sent emails, and I would love to have such special, sincere Jews as neighbors in my building or street, so there is a "selfish" reason for my wanting you to make aliyah.

Certainly, the valiant Chassidim who strove to protect their fellow Jews from the machete-wielding attacker by throwing a coat rack, a table, and rocks on him while getting the others out to safety – not to mention, the quick-witted father who locked the doors to the shul just in time while calling for fellow congregants to lock the other entrances too – these are very precious frum individuals whom I would like to have in my community.

And it's particularly odd & disturbing that the first part of the incident occurred in the Rebbe's living room (i.e., not a publicly accessible place) – and on Chanukah.

And yes, there is the famous saying (I think attributed to Rabbi Noach Weinberg z"l) that goes something like: "When they start killing Jews in the street, it's time to leave."

The thing that many of us pro-aliyah people forget is that Jews have been killed in the streets of Eretz Yisrael too, rachmana litzlan.

Hashem is the Only Real "Safe Space"

Something I find very sobering is that there is not one "safe" place in the world today for Jews.

At one point, Jews could escape pogroms, institutional persecution and discrimination, and later, the Shoah, by fleeing to North America.

South America and Great Britain also proved to be places that Jews could live in relative freedom and thrive.

But the world is shrinking in that regard. Even places reputed to host genial & open-minded non-Jews (like Sweden, Norway, and Denmark) are facing serious problems with Jew-hatred.

Even Antarctica isn't an option, due to it being populated by secular liberals from around the world. (Secular liberals aren't exactly into Jewish values or protecting Torah-observant Jews.)

And yes, I have always felt "safe" in Eretz Yisrael – safer than I ever did anywhere else in the world. Even when I feared to ride the buses during Rabin's bulldozering "Piece" Plan, I still felt relatively safe other than that.

If you read any sefer in authentic Torah Judaism or any discussion in Chazal of the proper response to Jew-hatred, it always has to do with our own service of Hashem, particularly avodat halev; Hashem wants our hearts.

Rav Avigdor Miller constantly spoke of this, that performing mitzvot with joy is our main salvation.

Sure, if you can move to a safer geographical location, then that's good hishtadlut (effort-making).

But since the Shoah, there has been an all-consuming focus on geographical location being the remedy for persecution and genocide.

This was Theodore Herzl's propaganda (among others) and it has permeated the frum community too, to an extent.

And so...

You can be a goy in Eretz Yisrael too. People have done it & still do it.

You can be a total rasha in Eretz Yisrael too. People have done it & still do it.

If you feel that Eretz Yisrael in the best place to live to increase you avodat Hashem and be a better Jew, that it's worth giving up a more comfortable gashimiut for a deeper ruchniut...then those are wonderful reasons to make aliyah.

If you feel that the Torah tells you to go to Eretz Yisrael, that you wish to follow the passages in Chazal that encourage making one's permanent home in Eretz Yisrael, then that's a wonderful reason.

Our biggest tzaddikim have done exactly that throughout the ages.

However...will you be physically safer here than anywhere else?

I'm not sure. Maybe. Maybe yes! A couple of the Gedolei Hador are reputed to have said exactly that.

But really, it all goes back to keeping Torah and mitzvot with your heart.

It goes back to separating yourself from non-Jewish culture, to stop admiring all sorts of aspects of the culture of your country.

This includes us in Eretz Yisrael, by the way.

How many Jews here have tried to adapt non-Jewish values to life in Eretz Yisrael?

How many Jews put their trust in politicians? (And who cares if they're "religious" or not? We aren't into politicians or getting too close to the government in general. Big mistake.)

But who cares what I say or think?

I'm not a big talmid chacham and never will be.

So here are the words of others on this topic:

Anti-Semitism Through the Lens of the Torah
Rav Avigdor Miller on Rising Anti-Semitism
Rav Avigdor Miller on Joining the Fight Against Antisemitism
Rav Avigdor Miller on Understanding the Holocaust
Rav Avigdor Miller on Our Response to Antisemitism (Please scroll down to the last video.)
Should We Daven About Antisemitism? (Rav Itamar Schwartz)
To Live in Eretz Yisrael or Not? (Rav Itamar Schwartz)
What is Galus America? (Rav Itamar Schwartz)
Perspective toward the Netanyahu Government? (Includes question regarding Satmar hashkafah & the answer regarding the government is most interesting and one I've never heard before or since – also by Rav Itamar Schwartz)

Our Best Response to Increasing Acts of Jew-Hatred

Tachlis: What are we supposed to be doing?

And this includes me, needless to say, because we are all part of the same "body," so to speak. Meaning that me and the Jews stabbed in Monsey are all fingers on the same hand, so to speak.

So if someone gets whacked by a machete in Monsey, I in Eretz Yisrael need to ask myself what I can do to prevent this from happening again.

Well, here are the words of the Kaliver Rebbe ztz"l, who not only survived the Shoah with his emunah fully intact, but also survived Mengeles's sadistic "experiments":

Solid emunah in Hashem (really knowing that Hashem is running EVERYTHING)
Loving our fellow Jews
Serving Hashem with joy
Keeping Shabbat scrupulously
Saying "Shema Yisrael"

By embracing the above, the Kaliver Rebbe assures us we do not need to fear wars.
(See here: The Kaliver Rebbe: "Each day is its own Yom Hashoah.")

Note especially his final quote:

"When we say Shema Yisrael, and we are unified there is no need to worry about another Holocaust."

Also, Rav Miller explains how the Torah states that the most horrific things can befall us simply for not serving Hashem b'simcha.(!!!) Please see here:

God Just Wants Us to Enjoy Life & Have Fun: Rav Miller on Parshat Ki Tavo

And please see his original dvar Torah here:

Parshas Ki Savo 2 – Serving Hashem with Joy

Finally, some wonderful advice from Shiffy Friedman's H.E.A.R.T. Initiative arrived in my Inbox recently.

The entire article is about how to bring one's heart into the picture, and not go through life as a glazed-eyed observer.

First of all, she takes on the kind of self-criticism that often passes for self-accounting (boldface & underline mine):

Too often, when we delve into our inner world, we end up with yet another layer of self-criticism.

“Oh,” we tell ourselves, “You’re just trying to cop out of life. I know why you’re eating/buying/doing this now/why you just wasted two hours on the computer/phone/why you made this massive Chanukah bash. It’s because you want to numb your emotions/you don’t want to face what you’re really feeling.”

In this way, we’re actually turning our self-exploration against us.

Then she comes up with this gem (underline mine):

While self-exploration can be painful—it often involves looking inside the crevices our heart we’ve been turning a blind eye to for too long, if it only makes us more resentful of ourselves or others, that’s a sign that it’s not only not helpful, but harmful.

If we're becoming angrier or our hatred is increasing, then that's a sign we aren't doing a real cheshbon hanefesh; we're not doing real teshuvah.

Real teshuvah (as opposed to imitation teshuvah) actually makes us better people.

That's its whole point.

She recommends taking the time to contemplate what we've done right and to discover our inner light (which emanates from the pure neshamah).

I think what she's aiming for is getting in touch with the yetzer hatov, and not just focusing on the yetzer hara.

She says she'll be delving deeper into how exactly to do this next week.

This is the sign-up for her newsletter:
emotionalwellnessthroughTorah@gmail.com (Type "subscribe" in the subject line.)

(And just for knowing, I receive nothing for promoting that nor does she even know I'm promoting it. I just find it beneficial & wish to share it with others.)

The Avodah of the Heart

As we've seen, switching countries is not enough. It's legitimate hishtadlut when necessary, but it's not the root solution.

Even fulfilling the mitzvah of yishuv Eretz Yisrael is not enough – we have seen how the actions of Erev Rav Jews and their victims within Eretz Yisrael actually lengthen the Exile and increase our suffering!

Wherever we are, it's avodat halev.

So to really save ourselves from the Jew-haters, we must:

Strengthen our emunah in Hashem.
Do whatever mitzvot we do with more heart, with real simcha.
Separate ourselves from the nations – and this includes a mental separation from their values & behaviors and any other anti-Torah influences

May we all succeed together in bringing the Geula sweetly & speedily.

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Special Kislev Roundup: Rav Itamar Schwartz on Dreams & Women's Avodah, Plus a Special Segulah to See a Huge Miracle from Rav Chaim Palagi

27/11/2019

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Rav Itamar Schwartz on Kislev & Dreams

Just in time for Rosh Chodesh Kislev, it's very worth checking out Rav Itamar Schwartz's transcribed lectures on Kislev.

In particular, Rosh Chodesh Kislev: Dreams & Sleep contains lots of beautiful information.

For example, the famous verse in Shir Hashirim – "I am asleep, but my heart is awake" – contains many deep meanings, one of which refers to the creation of Chava.

A woman is the heart. When Hashem created Chava, He put Adam to sleep.

So Adam was asleep, but his heart – Chava – was awakening & awake.

Rav Schwartz also discusses dream interpretation and it has a lot to do with your own level of self-knowledge.

In a dvar Torah on one of the parshahs (can't remember which one), Rebbetzin Shira Smiles explained that the kavanot of the person who prepared your food can influence your dreams.

She gave the example of a big rav who experience a disturbing dream out of character from his high spiritual level, and discovered later that the person who produced the meal was a person with low-level (or even anti-Torah?) thoughts.

I was so happy to come across this dvar Torah because I never understood why food can impact your dreams so much, and this gave a pretty good explanation for that influence.

I suppose there are other reasons too, but that's a pretty good one.

If I remember correctly, Rav Shalom Arush in Garden of Healing also mentioned that a person's thoughts and attitudes while preparing food can influence the eaters, both physically & spiritually, for better or for worse.

It's a classic tradition for Jewish women to say l'chvod Shabbot when preparing Shabbat meals and to murmur prayers while kneading challah dough.

Once again, it's not so much what you do, but HOW you do it that makes all the difference.

And, as always, Rav Schwartz emphasizes the importance of looking to rabbinical sources for self-help, as opposed to secular sources. In this article, he recommends Michtav M'Eliyahu/Strive for Truth in particular.

His post on dreams is also followed by a really interesting & helpful Q&A.

Rav Chaim Palagi's Kislev Segulah

Last year, I learned (I think on Shirat Devorah) of Rav Chaim Palagi's segulah to see a huge miracle this year.

Rabbi Alon Anava described it as the following 4 aspects:

1) From Rosh Chodesh until the last day of Chanukah, do not complain about anything (including in your thoughts).

2) Praise & thank Hashem a lot. (The 1st is "sur m'ra/turn from evil" and this 2nd step is "aseh tov/do good" – always a winning combination!)

3) Based on Sefer Yetzirah, Kislev is connected to the Hebrew letter samech ס, which hints at l'smoch – to rely, to count on. This is the underlying energy of Kislev. So work on relying on Hashem, and putting your trust in Him, i.e., bitachon.

4) Really put your faith in Hashem (emunah).

As you can see, the 4 steps are all interrelated.

It is also a very tall order. I must admit that I massively messed this up last year, so I'm aiming for more dedication & hoping for more siyata d'Shmaya this time around.

But you know what? Even if you already get all kvetchy, resentful, bitter, and faithless halfway through Rosh Chodesh, at least you still had some very spiritually powerful moments.

And even if you only find out about this segulah the day after Rosh Chodesh, it's still very worth trying.

And don't feel you've lost everything.

Pick yourself up & keep going until the last day of Chanukah.

Even if you fall on your face repeatedly, just keeping doing it.

Whether you'll merit a huge miracle some time this year or not, the above 4 steps contain tremendous positive spiritual power that benefit both you and the entire Am Yisrael.

We're all interconnected. Think of it like a person who tones & lifts weights with one leg while leaving the other by itself. He'll develop a major limp! But if he at least tries working out with the other leg, it'll still get stronger & hold up his body better than if he didn't work it at all.

That's us: one person altogether.

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2 Links to Expand Your Mind & Improve Your Life (with commentary)

5/11/2019

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Here are some links you might really enjoy:

Rav Avigdor Miller on Losing Your Bashert
Rav Miller describes how you can miss out on marrying your Divinely-ordained spouse, both before and even AFTER marriage.

This ties in with Rav Kanievsky's 5 tips for finding your soulmate because the idea of not criticizing nor being makpid with people helps you find what you really need in a spouse prior to marriage & is essential for a successful marriage after the wedding is over.

Rav Itamar Schwartz on Erev Rav: Amalek Exposed
Amalek seems a totally separate nation from the Erev Rav, who came from Mitzrayim and are now part of the Jewish people – at least in body.

So why is it that the Vilna Gaon typifies one of the Erev Rav types as "Amalek"?

There's a real connection, which is described in the above article.

Also, Rav Schwartz explains the connection between Erev Rav, Amalek, and the twin Exiles of Esav & Yishmael.

Just to give you a taste: Rav Schwartz explains that Amalek cannot stand Hashem's Oneness.

Amalek's all-consuming goal is to prevent Hashem's Oneness from being revealed.

This might explain why there is such a resistance to pure monotheism throughout the world, including self-proclaimed monotheists who are actually polytheists in belief & practice.

So Amalek strives to destroy Am Yisrael's oneness so that Hashem's Oneness cannot be revealed in This World.

Pretty nasty stuff, Amalek.

In line with that idea, please note that the Nazis were either nature-worshipers or atheists (both of which deny Hashem's Oneness), the Jew-persecuting Communists were atheists, and the Catholic Church, which instigated terrible persecution against the Jewish people over the centuries, has been polytheistic or pagan, depending on who you follow.

Why did they care so much about Jews secretly keeping Shabbat during the Inquisition?

Why did the Church feel the need to so horrifically torture Jews for keeping Shabbat?

Shabbat is a massive revelation of Hashem's Oneness in the world, if you read all that Chazal has to say about it.

(Note: I am not talking about the praiseworthy individual Catholics who risked torture & death to save Jews, but the powers-that-be behind the Catholic Church.)

Likewise, the holy & pure tzaddik Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender was one of the Ministry of State Security's most wanted "criminals" in the Ukraine in his time.

Why? Because he was so committed to Torah.

(Russia's Ministry of State Security was the forerunner to the KGB. Didn't they have bigger fish to fry than a couple of gentle, kind, saintly chassidim? I mean, it's the Ukraine after all...a matter of "state security," eh?)

Rav Bender & his fellow tzaddikim were forced to convert gerim in secret for fear of the Ministry of State Security. He was nearly executed for davening at the gravesite of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.

Yes, saying Tikkun Haklali by the grave of a tzaddik is DANGEROUS to your nation's survival...if you're Amalek.

However, we can overcome Amalek by connecting to the point that came before Creation.

Why?

Because Am Yisrael came before Creation; we were b'machshavah techilah - we already existed in Hashem's Thoughts before Creation.

Only Am Yisrael possesses the power to connect to that pre-Creation point.

How to do that?

It's in the article, but just as a hint:
The Torah was the blueprint for Creation. It also preceded Creation.

Anyway, the whole post is really fascinating.

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The Lessons Found Deep Within

3/11/2019

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Even when you are firmly embedded within your frum lifestyle, you can still face startling wake-up calls about something you thought was 100% kosher – or even laudable – and discover that it actually isn't.

It could even be something that makes you feel good.

It could be something with pseudo-rabbinic approval.

But then you discover it's all wrong.

Or at least, partly wrong.

My latest wake-up call came after reading Rav Itamar Schwartz's ideas about concentrating on one's breathing, which he takes from Chazal (as clarified by Rav Abulafia, apparently), and does not borrow from non-Jewish sources.

Then a caring reader sent me a booklet of Rav Schwartz's ideas on breathing & how it specifically relates to the month of Cheshvan:
http://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.On.Breathing.pdf

You can also see a version of it as a blog post:
http://bilvavi.net/english/rosh-chodesh-avodah-008-marchesvan-breathing

Now, I was never one of these people who likes to meditate, but I have done guided meditation with frum rabbinically approved people.

And these are people who care about their methods being 100% kosher.

So imagine my dismay when I read in the Q&A section (emphasis mine):

The Torah’s approach to the power of using breathing is not so that we should expel negative energy contained in the body and bring in positive energy.

A Torah-approved method that is being somewhat mirrored in the gentile practices of breathing is that a person can bring positive energy into his system; however, this is not being accomplished through the gentile methods.

A Torah-approved method would be to imagine a thought about something holy and to imagine that it is entering him, or that it is his enveloping his body, or something similar to this.

The gentile approach of breathing exercises, however, involves imagining a “light” that enters the body which purges it from all evil or negativity found in the body.

This approach is heretical to our Torah.

Uh...oh.

And while I haven't done this a lot nor have I done this since a while ago, I was concerned that something so seemingly innocent & positive is actually "heretical."

Trusting that Rav Schwartz is truly knowledgeable in this area helped me be honest with myself, and convinced me that I must not again try anything that instructs me to inhale "light" or "a power" – ANY kind of "power."

There's just Hashem.

Having said that, I think that one of the frum methods I tried indeed described it as imagining "the light of Hashem" being inhaled into you, which suits the Torah-approved method of breathing, according to Rav Schwartz.

That felt nice, but I never saw any of the promised effects from it, as far as I remember.

At the same time, I don't think all these things always make sure to mention Hashem as a firmly entrenched part of the exercise – which might explain an odd reaction I had to one given by a frum person, which was not only unhelpful but caused a very unpleasant feeling.

Rav Schwartz goes on to explain (emphasis mine):

The purpose of the Torah’s approach towards breathing is that breathing enables us to reach HaKadosh Baruch Hu found in the depths of the soul.

Unlike the gentile methods, which are entirely self-focused, the Torah way of breathing exercises is to come to live with Hashem in our life, through the breathing exercises.

And in a nutshell, I feel that's the problem with a lot of "kashered" exercises borrowed from Eastern practices.

It's all focused on self.

I remember when I read about Buddhism, for example, to see what all the attraction was about, and when I learned what the whole point was & what the greatest achievement could be, I was like, "That's it?"

Just something like, reaching a state of nothingness for absolutely no reason.

Whoopdee-doo.

And investing TONS of work and discipline to get there.

It was so pointless and meaningless, I really didn't & don't understand why intelligent, spiritual people were & are so attracted to it.

So I decided to try breathing Rav Schwartz's way, and immediately saw the difference.

Concentrating on my breathing sparked a dim image in my head of the whole breathing apparatus, the diaphragm, everything. My mind automatically thought, "Wow, how great are your deeds, Hashem! Look at how everything works together so well without my even noticing! I'm so grateful to You! You're Amazing!"

This was the spontaneous thought, not that I was trying to make it Gratitude Time. (Remember, I was just focusing on my breathing without using my mind for anything else.)

Needless to say, feeling awash in awe & appreciation of Hashem both relaxed & uplifted my mood.

At this point, I plan to use this periodically, but don't intend to make a daily practice out of it because, like I said, I'm really not a meditative type. Anyway, he said this isn't necessary spiritual work; it's just for people who feel attracted to it and wish to make it part of their avodah.

Not every soul needs this particular method of getting close to Hashem.

But yet again, it showed me the great importance of deriving help from authentic Jewish sources.

We don't need to look so often to the non-Jewish world for help.

And we certainly don't need "kashered" versions of unkosher methods.

Mah rabu ma'asecha, Hashem!

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UPDATED: Using Torah to Think Outside the Box

29/10/2019

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Years ago, I first heard the idea that while everything is in the Torah, you need to be a huge talmid chacham to extract it.

And in a nutshell, this was the heter to glean stuff (particularly psychology & self-help) from the non-Jewish world.

Initially, it was a relief to hear it.

Because I was so far away in my mind (despite being technically observant) from comprehending (let alone internalizing) original sources of mussar, the above concept really appealed to me back then.

Gradually, though, I saw it wasn't really true.

Obviously, we're allowed to glean stuff from the non-Jewish world.

However, when it comes to ideas that affect our inner selves and our ability to do teshuvah, it's actually very hard to discard the chaff (of which there is an ENORMOUS amount in popular psychology) and leave only the legitimate kernels.

That's why I really relished Rav Itamar Schwartz's statement that you actually need to be a big talmid chacham to sift through the secular stuff in order to get to the genuinely helpful stuff.

Here are Rav Schwartz's exact words from Woman's World 018: Avoiding Non-Jewish Influence (please scroll halfway to the section called "Who can learn psychology?") – the boldfaced underlined emphasis is my addition:

A person who is a very big Talmid Chochom, who learned the entire Torah – who finished Shas (Talmud Bavli, as well as Talmud Yerushalmi) and has learned the works of the Gra and the Maharal – he already has his outlook from the Torah, so he can sift through the information and see which non-Jewish literature is kosher and which isn’t.

He is able to obtain permission to learn it, because he can know how to sift out what isn’t true.

As you can see, it's the diametrical opposite to the idea bandied about in frum outlets.

Blind Spots are No Heter

Of course, the original idea presented in favor of secular methodologies derived from the fear of people misinterpreting Torah ideas, and especially distorting them to cater to their own deficiencies.

It's true that people do that. It's a legitimate concern.

Yes, it's true that people can read Torah sources with their blind spots solidly in place, making it difficult for them to extract the lessons they truly need from it.

(Many people especially love distorting the Rambam's or Rav Moshe Feinstein's words & ideas to align with his or her goals & personal flaws.)

But there is also a matter of ratzon (desire, good will).

Without Ratzon, Nothing Helps (well, almost nothing, anyway...please see the next section for what can help when even the ratzon just isn't there)

If you have a sincere ratzon, you'll get what you need from the original sources.

It might take a while and you might experience lots of confusion at the beginning, but eventually, you'll get it. (Kol hahatchalot kashot – All beginnings are difficult.)

Throughout recent decades, we've seen that therapy often doesn't heal people.

Many people feel better with therapy, but they often don't behave better. And even the ones who technically behave better, they aren't actually so much better inside.

For example, I've met former alcoholics and others who've ceased obviously dysfunctional behaviors, but they still aren't emotionally healthy people. They still have a lot of narcissism, for one. Not everyone, of course.

I also know parents (or their abused children) who were physically abusive, yet when compelled by a therapist to stop, the parents simply became emotionally neglectful, sarcastic, mocking, or some other form of rejecting & abusive behavior that much harder to define & legislate.

And I knew one problematic young husband married to a verbally abusive young wife. When she really got going (and let me tell you, she did so with great relish), he would rap her on the mouth with his fingers.

Needless to say, this crossed the line into physical abuse.

(FYI, I knew them both, and I knew her well enough before she got married. They both had middot problems that needed serious attention. She might have been a bit worse than him, to be honest, but he also needed to whip himself into shape.)

So a frum therapist, the young husband's mother (who was a very frum lady), and the young wife's mother (who was also a very frum lady) sat him down and made it abundantly clear that he was never, ever, ever to raise his hand against his wife in any way whatsoever, and that doing so was completely forbidden.

And he never did it again.

Instead, he also unleashed a verbal diatribe whenever his wife unleashed hers.

As the young wife's mother lamented, "Now he's striking her with his voice instead of his fingers." (And yes, she admitted that her daughter was doing the same.)

This obviously did not solve the real problem for either one of them.

Now they both behaved in an EQUALLY appalling manner.

Equality achieved!

Neither spouse worked on the core middot that led to halachically forbidden behavior, in which all abuse is forbidden by halacha, whether it is physical, verbal, mental, or emotional.

Yet in the above example, everyone involved simply responded according to the values & methods of secular psychology.

No Ratzon? So Just Keep Pouring It On

Likewise, a great many people in therapy simply become more narcissistic.

Why?

Narcissism is actually encouraged by popular psychology (though they use appealing words to get around that fact, so it doesn't look like conventional narcissist personality disorder).

But even if you end up with a genuinely wise therapist, you may not get much out of it unless you have a sincere ratzon.

So an insincere messed-up person might as well read Mishlei/Proverbs or make a daily study of Duties of Heart's Shaar Habechinah.

It's sort of like Rebbe Nachman of Breslov's parable of the sick prince who couldn't swallow, and therefore couldn't ingest any medicine to get better. So instead, a wise Sage advised the doctors to simply pour gallons of medicine over his mouth, with the understanding that at least a few drops would drip their way in, even as the vast majority of medicine would be lost.

Deal with Negative Feels via Mussar, Not Therapy

When I saw a young woman on the bus behaving inconsiderately (as featured in The #1 Way to Deal with Anger & Other Intense Negative Emotions), what would a therapist have advised me?

Ultimately, the scene was a hint from Hashem. It was a message that even if we take a lackadaisical attitude toward our own Olam Haba, we need to know that behaving beneath the Torah's standards hurts our fellow Jews.

We are literally all in the same boat; we are literally part of the same body.

This is great chizuk to keep on going even if we've given up on ourselves.

(Or even when we've convinced ourselves that something is okay "just this once...")

What therapist would've guided me toward the right kind of thinking?

True, a frum therapist here or there may have done so, but most would not.

How would secular methods have helped?

Secular methods would focus on me dealing with my anger toward the girl, on letting go or being more assertive, etc.

They (and therefore, I) would completely miss the very important mussar intended by Hashem.

(And no, I really haven't seen her since I got the message. Maybe she doesn't even really exist, and was just a pelephone-addicted golem created for mussar.)

What If You're Allergic to Conventional Psychiatry?

Finally, Rav Itamar Schwartz mentions a very important fact unconsidered by many people: What's good for one isn't necessarily good for another.

You can recommend strawberries as wonderful sources of vitamin C along with other benefits...but what if a person is allergic to strawberries?

Peanuts & fulim (fava beans) contain wonderful vitamins & minerals...but they are a death sentence to those allergic to their properties.

Likewise, in the Q&A If a person has problems with rage and he wants to calm down, should he take pills?, Rav Schwartz reveals that the conventional "prescription" method of treating the physical body for building one's spiritual state comes from people who aren't Jewish and it only works for people who aren't Jewish.

In another post (Protection from Illness of Erev Rav), Rav Schwartz quotes Chiddushei Chatam Sofer, Shabbat 86b:

The Chasam Sofer[1] stated that we cannot bring any medical proof from a non-Jew’s body to how we heal a Jew’s body, because since a Jew has a higher soul than a non-Jew, the healing is not the same.

The Chasam Sofer revealed to us a very novel concept – not only is a Jew’s soul vastly different than a non-Jew’s soul, but even their physical bodies are different.

This was a real whomp between the eyes because, to me, it also implies that all the studies of the effects of these medications don't apply to Jews – unless they were performed on Jewish subjects...which also reminds me of a rav (I heard it attributed to Dayan Fischer ztz"l, but I don't really know) who said that this is also included in the meaning of ein mazal b'Yisrael, i.e., conventional mazal doesn't apply to Jews because Hashem set Jews above the natural influences of things.

Physics applies to Jews (so don't drive too recklessly & don't do anything else dangerous), but "mazal" doesn't apply to Jews.

Back to medication: When, in Rav Schwartz's opinion, does a psychotropic medication play a part for Jews?

His answer:

In certain extreme situations, it may be used by a Jew who has fallen very low that for the time being, his life right now resembles a level that is very close to a gentile’s way of living.”

Really scrumptious food for thought.

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The Lessons Found Deep Within

UPDATED: Using Torah to Think Outside the Box

Blind Spots are No Heter

Without Ratzon, Nothing Helps (well, almost nothing, anyway...please see the next section for what can help when even the ratzon just isn't there)

No Ratzon? So Just Keep Pouring It On

Deal with Negative Feels via Mussar, Not Therapy

What If You're Allergic to Conventional Psychiatry?

Myrtle Rising

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