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The Main Reason for Hatred & How to Turn It Around

13/1/2020

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The Best Advice on How to Destroy Your Bad Middot without Destroying Yourself

10/1/2020

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The #1 Ultimate Way to Alleviate Suffering in This World (and it sure ain't easy and maybe even seems impossible, but even a little bit still helps)

9/1/2020

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At one point, I was feeling all out of sorts and having a difficult time lifting myself out of the doldrums and despondency.

So I did what a lot of people do, and I decided to open up at random a book written by a tzaddik and use that as a direct message from Hashem about how I should proceed.

People do this with the Chumash, the Lubavitcher Rebbe's letters, Rebbe Nachman's Likutei Moharan – anything written by either Hashem or one of His tzaddikim will work.

I chose Volume I of Words of Faith by Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender because his words always speak to me so meaningfully, and I always feel he's so full of love and understanding.

Page 133 turned up with the sub-heading:
Thinking of Tachlis Alleviates Harsh Devotions

"Tachlis" can be translated as "the Ulitmate Goal" – meaning, completing your own rectifications, sweetening and bringing the Geula, influencing Am Yisrael & the world positively (albeit invisibly), and earning yourself a fabulous portion in the World to Come.

Rav Bender starts off this section by discussing how holy men in his time were able to carry out such harsh devotions, like immersing in a roofless mikveh among chunks of ice. Or doing hitbodedut outside in a forest for hours in searingly cold weather while hopping from foot to foot just to prevent freezing to death. 

​The answer is:
The more a person is bound to Tachlis [Ultimate Goal], the easier it is for him to serve Hashem Yisbarach. Despite all the difficulties and toil, the pain and suffering – thinking of Tachlis turns it all to a good sweet life...

(Full disclaimer: Needless to say, we're discussing an idea that is way, way beyond me right now. So I'm going to quote Rav Bender directly throughout this post so you can get it straight from his pure & holy heart.)

Despite how far we feel from this level, it is still a good goal to keep in mind.

​Rav Avigdor Miller spoke a lot of focusing on all the wonders and pleasures of Hashem's world. Mesillat Yesharim spoke of how we are supposed to take pleasure in This World, even though that is very difficult for many of us, practically speaking.

But it is a beneficial goal.

It's a quintessentially Jewish idea at the root of our whole system of emunah & daas.

And this is the paradox we live in.

Rav Bender goes on to acknowledge that "The world is filled with pain and bitterness."

Correct! Couldn't have said it better.
For indeed there is strong bitterness in this world. It is there whatever you do...

Exactly.

​Then Rav Bender says (pg. 134):
However, when one is bound to the Tachlis, he doesn't experience any bitterness and difficulty... It is possible to jump into a frozen mikveh, to rip raw wounds easily... Because the heart that is attached Above in a strong bond doesn't feel any pain.

Why the Heck is This Uplifting?

Why IS this uplifting?

Many of us might feel like this is yet another level we can never reach.

Like, "Uh, binding myself to the Tachlis and attaching my heart Above in such a strong bond that I no longer feel any pain? Well, gosh. Yet another thing to just plain fail at again...thanks a lot."

​But the truth is that knowing that the joy is out there can bring a glimmer of light to a long, dark, claustrophobic tunnel.

The truth is that people who have worked on connecting to Hashem, finding meaning in yissurim, and focusing on the Tachlis tend to be happier and deal with suffering better than those who don't do this at all.

Yes, they may still find themselves down in the dumps at times.

But they are still better off overall.

Furthermore, people who at least try to fulfill this idea find themselves not only behaving better, but actually feeling better in situations that used to stress them out.

People who at least work on binding themselves to the Tachlis (or whatever words they use to describe it) will tell you that there are situations that used to hurt them or really throw them off balance, and now those same situations either make them laugh or they respond with emotional equanimity.

Not with EVERYTHING, but I personally know people for whom this is true at least some of the time.

I'm not talking about repressing or lying to themselves or faking their outer behavior (although there is also value in the "fake it 'til ya make it" method).

​I'm talking about regular people who affected such a real inner change in a particular area that their heart, their actual emotions truly changed (at least in some situations that previously used to knock them out of the game).

So whether or not we reach the level of "suffering without actually feeling any suffering whatsoever," connecting to this idea still can grant us extra light in our life, extra happiness, and more emotional equilibrium.

Connecting to this idea even a little can still make us better people, even if only in some small way (which is still a million times better than not improving at all).

The main way to do this, says Rav Bender throughout the book, is to talk to Hashem as you would a Best Friend who truly loves and understands you, and is always forgiving.

Why on Earth Do We Beg Hashem to Grant Tzaddikim a Good Reward?

​Rav Bender brings a chiddush from another Breslov tzaddik, Rav Avraml.

In Shemoneh Esrei, we say, "V'Ten sachar tov l'chol habotchim b'Shimcha b'emet — And grant good reward to all those who trust in Your Name in truth."

Who are the people who trust in Hashem's Name "b'emet" – for real?

They are the people who live every moment with the Tachlis in mind. Their hearts are always connected Above.

And who are they?

Our tzaddikim!


But think about that for a moment.

Why on earth do we need to beg Hashem 3 times a day to grant TZADDIKIM a good reward?

After all, they're tzaddikim. 

Of course they get reward! If they don't, then who does?

The answer is: They live in a state of sweetness.

Suffering doesn't pain them.

​So how can suffering atone for them?

As Rav Bender explains: "not only do they not feel the pain of meaningless worldly suffering, they also experience good life."

What's more, we have further elucidation from Rav Yaakov HaLevi Dov (who attended the shiur from which this page was transcribed & apparently said the following in the middle of this shiur):
The idea here outlined is in line with a statement of the Rebbe: 

The World to Come – we believe in.

But "This World" – those who have it good here – he does not see. Only Gehinnom...

Meaning, the average person goes through so much worldly suffering that it cannot really be said that he "lives it up" in a secular sense.

However, tzaddikim – who merit to live with constant awareness of Tachlis – are able to enjoy life while here too.

Because they are connected to what life is really about and they live on a higher plane...

And that's why we need to beg Hashem to still grant them a good reward: Even though they're experiencing pleasure and not the cleansing pain of yissurim (suffering), their enjoyment still shouldn't detract from their Ultimate Reward. 

So that's where it's at.

And I don't think I'm anywhere near this level, and I still have my falls, but I do see that at least attempting to grasp onto this concept really does help at least a little.

And hopefully, people will take from Rav Bender's words whatever they're able, whatever level they happen to be at right now, b'ezrat Hashem.
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What to Do When It's Just You against the Giant Whirlpool of Mud

3/10/2019

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"I have sunk in a whirlpool & there is no place to stand..."

-Tehillim/Psalm 69:3


The word translated here as "whirlpool" is metzulah in the original text.

Rashi and others translate it as like a muddy mire (more companionable with the previous post).

But Rav Avraham ibn Ezra describes it as in the middle of the sea -- a whirlpool.

Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender acknowledges the simple meaning of the verse:

This person is not only in the terrible quandary of getting stuck in a whirlpool; he can't even stand there — there is additional pain & suffering.

​All hope seems lost.

How to Win the Massively Unfair Fight between You & the Giant Muddy Whirlpool

But the Breslover Sages provided an insightful twist on these words:

"There is no place to stand" can also mean that one is not stuck there.

Do not stand in place.

Rav Bender exhorts (Words of Faith Vol. I, pg. 405):
"Deal with it and wrestle and make all effort to get out."
Rav Bender explains that even if all the person sees is mud and he simply cannot wrench himself free, however hard he tries...nonetheless, if he remains stuck and does not move to free himself, "he will certainly sink deeper with no possibility of being saved, chas v'shalom."

The way of struggling is one foot in, one foot out.

"I give a blow, I take a blow," says Rav Bender.

Taking a blow or getting caught in the mud, getting all wet & dirty — this itself is the nisyon, it's not the final judgement on you.

Too many people condemn us when they see us struggling and muddy.

Heck, we condemn ourselves for our clumsy desperate flailing & our muddily soaked appearance.

But according to Rav Bender and according to David Hamelech, that's not how Hashem sees things at all.

Rav Bender insists that the main thing is to try. We must be strong and ensure that last foot steps out...

As long as we WANT to escape the muddy whirlpool and the mire, as long as we TRY to free ourselves, we're beautiful to Hashem.

And He'll make us win in the end.
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The #1 Thing to Keep Doing When You Find Yourself Sinking in Mud

2/10/2019

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"Know this: Whatever state a person might be in, when he wages constant war — the main thing is who wins in the end, who shoots the last bullet..."

-Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender
Words of Faith Vol. I, pg. 404


One of the most discouraging aspects of self-improvement is the up-and-down aspect of doing teshuvah.

It feels manic-depressive: When you're up, you can feel high as a kite.

When you're down, you can hate both yourself & the world.

Of course, the ups and downs may not always be as extreme as that, but it can still be discouraging if, for example, your Rosh Hashanah davening was full of flavor & inspiration, then the 10 Days of Teshuvah see you waking up on the wrong foot and feeling generally irritable or despondent.

Or maybe you wake up with a song in your heart, but throughout the day, events get you down and you go to bed feeling like a failure.

It helps a lot to know that this is a NATURAL part of the process, and not necessarily a negative reflection on the innate "you."

The Mud Parable

Rav Bender explains that it's like being stuck in a type of sinking mud-bog.

If you just stand there, you will surely sink deeper and deeper.

But if you try to wrangle one foot out?

Ah, now there's hope!

Yes, you're still in the mud.

But at least you resist getting swallowed whole.

So you end up in this wonky balancing act: You're up to your knees in mud and you've got one foot in and one foot out. And then you switch them. And then you switch them again. And again.

It's exhausting, it's messy...but it's exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

​For many of us, whether we realize it or not, there's actually no other choice.

And the Winner is...The Exhausted Muddy Person Still Sunk in the Bog, But Who at Least has ONE Foot OUT!

Rav Bender explains that as long as a person has one foot out of the mud, there is hope that this last act will be in his favor, that he will win.
"One foot in, one foot out. But the main thing is that the last foot should be outside."
It sounds so strange, but this is the pure unadulterated truth:

Despite the fact that the rest of you is covered with mud and still caught in the bog, that mere one foot out declares you a winner.

But how can you know with all the constant switching, that the last foot will be out in the end?

Rav Bender assures us that it all depends on your desire. Ratzon.

If you really wholeheartedly want to get out of the mud, you will win in the end.

You can't know when — hopefully, it will be soon with a sweet Geula — but as long as you really want it, you WILL win in the end.
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Related post:
Spiritual Bipolar Disorder - Part 1
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How to Become Exceptional in 10 Minutes: Rav Avigdor Miller's Rosh Hashanah Advice

24/9/2019

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In Words of Faith, Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender cautions us against falling into the trap of the "frum" yetzer hara.

The "frum" yetzer hara seems very pious in his negative evaluations of any mitzvah we do.

Nothing is ever good enough.

And while it's true that maybe we didn't daven with so much kavanah, this oh-so pious yetzer hara sucks any joy we feel out of the mitzvah.

Furthermore, he makes us feel like Torah & mitzvot are too hard, that we'll never perform any mitzvah "well enough," and then he convinces us...why bother? It's not worth even trying.

And that's the killer clause of the pious yetzer hara.

When 5+5 equals 1 in 10,000

So we must defeat this oh-so seemingly pious yetzer hara by listening to what our real talmidei chachamim say about baby steps.

They for sure know better than even your frummest yetzer hara.

In a recently transcribed lecture Rav Avigdor Miller on 10 Minutes to Make You Great, Rav Miller tells us to spend 10 minutes in preparation for the New Year, for Rosh Hashanah.

And what do we do in those 10 minutes?

  • Spend 5 minutes thinking about all the good Hashem did for you over this past year.
  • Spend 5 minutes creating resolutions for the coming year.

If you do this, then Rav Miller considers you "great;" you're head and shoulders above the rest.
Those ten minutes will be a great accomplishment.

If after sitting here...you’ll go out and think for five minutes, you should know that you’re an exception. You’re a dagul mei’rivavah – you’re one out of ten thousand. 

There’s nobody like you.

Who thinks for five whole minutes about gratitude for Hashem for the past year?!

And who thinks for five minutes about making resolutions for improving himself in the coming year?! People talk about it. But that’s all.

That’s why I said in the beginning of our talk, that if you do this on a small scale, then you shoot up and your head is way above everybody else.


TAPE #138 (September 1976)
Toras Avigdor

If you've been visiting Toras Avigdor or listening to Rav Miller's shiurim, then you know that here's a Jew who does not mince words.

Especially when it comes to avodat Hashem, Rav Miller is straight as they come.

And while I think the whole frum awakening toward gratitude and thanking Hashem has picked up since 1976, there are, tragically, enough assimilated Jews and enough by-rote Jews that you really stand out with those 10 minutes.

And the more of us who take these 10 minutes to thank Hashem for all the good of the past year while making specific resolutions for the coming year, the more we can sweeten din and reap blessing for ourselves and others.
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From Light-Headed Scoffer to Generous Tzaddik

22/9/2019

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One of the many things I love about Words of Faith (a 2-volume compilation of Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender's talks) is the examples of people who did teshuvah.

I think it's so important to speak about the accomplishments of externally unremarkable people.

Or seemingly hopeless people.

And I mean REALLY hopeless-seeming people.

For example, Rav Bender describes a man who is basically a bum who hogs the heater in the Uman shul all the tefillah. (This is my terminology; Rav Bender's description is far more refined.)

For impoverished & cold attendees like Rav Bender, this meant they never had a chance to warm up. Ever. Due to the man's choice of language and topics, Rav Bender and others could not stand near the jerk, even to enjoy the heat.

Yet this same worthless bum later did complete teshuvah, and even made a very good name for himself.

(For the full story, please see: 2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation.)
​
Interestingly, Rav Bender mentions no observation of a certain kind of "spark" or hidden potential during the time he knew the boorish man. Instead, Rav Bender sounds pleasantly surprised that after immigrating to America, the man made a deep & gradual change.

So the point is that you do not need to be some kind of special person to do teshuvah.

You don't even need to be a decent person or even someone with an ounce of EQ (emotional intelligence).

I just love the story of the boorish meat-selling bum because to me, his teshuvah is more inspiring than that of a big rasha (as featured in The True Story of How a Murderer Did Teshuvah).

After all, big reshaim can be a charismatic. They can be intelligent & savvy.

The story of the insensitive boor who is not embarrassed to hog the shul heater right in front of tremendous tzaddikim is the one that gives me the most hope.

The Inspiring Story of Dovid Heisener

And Rav Bender offers us another inspiring story (pg. 178, Vol I).

Originally, Dovid Heisener was "a secular Jew devoid of Torah and mitzvos" who was also "a material person whose entire aspiration was to 'live it up'."

Dovid Heisener fearlessly risked his life to amass great wealth via the illegal transaction of dollars & gold.

Yet despite being a savvy & careful guy, Dovid Heisener was caught in Moscow with dollars on him, which earned him the punishment of banishment for 3 years.

Oddly, the court allowed him to choose where he would spend this banishment.

Even more oddly, he chose Uman in the Ukraine.

After arriving in Uman with his wife & family, Dovid Heisener heard there was a "Breslov theater" in Uman.

So, being a "happy scoffer" (as Rav Bender described him), Dovid Heisener made his way to the Breslov shul to see these "strange people who danced and jumped and practiced bizarre customs not like others..."

And indeed, Dovid Heisener found it all strange and entertaining at first.

It's obvious from Rav Bender's description that Rav Bender and the shul rabbi, Rav Avraham ben Rav Nachman, understood exactly why this "happy scoffer" was sitting in their shul.

You can also imagine how they were made fun of among the townspeople after watching this "Breslov theater," as Dovid Heisener called it.

But as always, they held by Rebbe Nosson's original custom that if someone attends the Breslov shul, there must be a reason for it, and to allow the person to attend in peace.

It doesn't mean you hang out with that person.

It doesn't mean you invite the guy for Shabbos.

But don't push him away, either.

Gradually, Dovid Heisener noticed the "deep seriousness" and "fear of Heaven" resting on the faces of the chassidim.

His attendance became regular, then he started participating in the davening and also attended the Torah classes.

Ultimately, Dovid Heisener did complete teshuvah.

And with the proceeds and materials from his leather business, Dovid Heisener provided warm coats & snow shoes to all those who wished to go out into the fields for hitbobedut during the harsh Russian winters.

In the words of Rav Bender (pg. 180):
"He was transformed from one extreme to the other. Until he actually turned into a tzaddik. ​That light-headed scoffer was transformed into a serious simple servant of Hashem who was a pleasure to gaze at..."

I hope that we can all derive inspiration from the fact that even if you're just a money-loving, adventurous, entertainment-seeking scoffer, you can still do complete teshuvah.

And even more so, if you're NOT starting out on such a low level.

​But either way, there's definitely hope!

Here are the some of Rav Bender's stories of inspiring teshuvah:
  • The True Story of How a Murderer Did Teshuvah
  • From Wise-Cracking Businessman to Soul-Stirring Holy Man
  • ​2 Examples of Unforeseeable Personality Transformation
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How to Save the World One Step at a Time

31/7/2019

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​In general, our biggest tzaddikim don’t shove us toward grand gestures and massive gulps.
 
They tend to advise smaller steps to advance in ruchaniut and middot.
 
Yes, sometimes, grand gestures are needed—like the fashion-addicted woman who saved her own life by plucking out all her immodest clothing and making a happy bonfire in her yard.

She’d been diagnosed with something like a fatal brain tumor.

​Yet after meeting with Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky a”h, the young woman made this grand gesture of commitment to tsniut and the tumor (or whatever it was; can’t remember exactly) disappeared.
 
And sometimes, a massive gesture IS called for, like a prayer gathering or saying the entire Sefer Tehillim/Book of Psalms in one go (which takes some of us 5-6 hours).
 
But day-to-day?

How to Transform Your Life with Rebbetzin Kanievsky's Advice

What did Rebbetzin Kanievsky a"h recommend in order to generate more blessing in life?

  • Learn 2 halachot of lashon hara a day.
  • Take in Shabbat 10 minutes earlier. (Easier said than done, for some of us—Friday morning, ask Hashem for help achieving this! But she promised miracles for those who manage to achieve this.)
  • Add 1 passage from the siddur to your morning davening. (For example, if you don’t say Aleinu L’shabeyach at the end of Shacharit, then start saying it.)
  • Bake your own challot and add your prayers to the powerful mitzvah of hafrashat challah. (Full disclosure: Personally, I do not always manage to make challahs every week, but she said it, so I’m putting it here.)
  • Say "Ein od milvado!" ("There is absolutely nothing else except Him!") with as much conviction and kavanah as you possibly can.
 
Again, please note the small numbers:
  • ONE extra thing from the siddur
  • TWO halachot
  • ten MINUTES 
  • hafrashat challah ONCE a week
  • ONE phrase consisting of THREE words that takes mere SECONDS to say

Climbing Mountains One Step at a Time

​Again: Yes, there is a place for grand gestures.

​Malky Feig’s Mountain Climbers 2 tells of a family that saved the life of a young boy in their family by being ready for Shabbat by the halachic noon of Erev Shabbat.

He was diagnosed with a fatal illness, yet this family, who usually came crashing into Shabbat by the skin of their teeth, got their act together for an early Shabbat and the boy remained alive and healthy.

(Their source was the Chafetz Chaim’s advice to another couple generations earlier, based on the fact that Shabbat is mekor habracha—the source of blessing; so adding more Shabbat into one’s life increases one’s blessing.)
 
But Malky Feig also brings examples of people who reaped blessing from very small gestures—acts that regular people might scoff at if you told them.

​For example, a young frum woman overcame a bleak diagnosis by resolving to stop using a soft-bristled hairbrush on Shabbat (because it unintentionally pulls out hairs, which is forbidden on Shabbat, even though she’d bought the soft bristles to avoid such a thing—but it pulled out some hair anyway).

Rav Avigdor Miller's 10 Steps to Greatness

Rav Avigdor Miller is famous for his 10 Steps to Greatness (Tape #706):

  1. Spend 30 seconds thinking of Olam Haba and how we are in This World ONLY as a preparation for the World to Come.
  2. Say at least once (in private) "I love You, Hashem."
  3. Do one hidden act of chesed that no one (other than Hashem) knows about.
  4. Be like Hashem, Who lifts the humble; say something to encourage someone.
  5. Spend 1 minute thinking about what happened yesterday (cheshbon hanefesh).
  6. Your actions should be l'Shem Shamayim/for the sake of Heaven (say that once during meals).
  7. Look into someone's face and think: "I'm seeing a tzelem Elokim ('Image' of Hashem)."
  8. Just like Hashem's Face shines on us, give someone a big smile.
  9. When saying "malbish arumim" in the morning blessings, think about the great gift of garments, i.e. pockets, buttons, shoelaces, etc.
  10. In private, sit on the floor for 1 second each day & think about the loss of Yerushalayim.
 
After recommending carrying out these steps out for 30 days, Rabbi Miller advised, "If you feel exhausted, take a break and come back slowly. To become great, you have to be extreme."

For a more detailed version of Rav Miller's ten steps, please see: 10 steps to Greatness by Rav Avigdor Miller z''l (tape #706)

Stream-Lined Advice from the Kaliver Rebbe

Likewise, when asked how to prevent another Shoah and protect the Jewish people in general, the late Kaliver Rebbe Menachem Mendel Taub  ztz”l, who survived the horrific human experimentation of evil Mengele yemach shemo in Auschwitz, recommended focusing on the following:

  • Solid emunah in Hashem (“knowing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is running the world”)
  • Loving our fellow Jews
  • Serving Hashem with joy
  • Keeping Shabbat scrupulously (“by studying the laws of Shabbos”)
  • Saying "Shema Yisrael"
  • Say Aleinu L’shabeyach

Granted several of the above are hard to achieve.

Regardless, even the tiniest progress in these particular areas is very, very powerful.

And out of 613 mitzvot (and any feel-good derech-hateva efforts, like politicking), the Rebbe pared it down for us to focus on the above 6 ideals.

​In other words, he didn’t insist on us being perfect in every way and taking on massive chumras or grand gestures.

Instead, a stream-lined focus on solidifying our emuna, loving our fellow Jews, Shabbat observance, saying Shema Yisrael and Aleinu L’Shabayach, and doing it all with joy were his recommendations.
​

“When we say Shema Yisrael and we are unified,
there is no need to worry about another Holocaust.”


-Rebbe Menachem Mendel Taub  ztz”l


​For more, please see this article: Kaliver Rebbe: “Each day is its own Yom HaShoah.”
​

(His emphasis on saying Aleinu L’Shabayach was in another article, but he did emphasize its importance, so it’s included here in the above list.)

The 4 Guidelines of a Hidden Tzaddik

The hidden tzaddik, Rabbi Yehuda Zev Leibowitz ztz”l, recommended the following 4 major guidelines to focus on as we approach Redemption:

1. Help Others
2. Be Merciful
3. Give In & Let It Go
4. And the main point: Not to Yell


(For a more detailed elucidation of these guidelines, please see Remembering Rabbi Yehuda Zev)

Chabad Path to Salvation

The last Lubavitcher Rebbe is famous for his mivtzo'im (mitzvah campaigns).

​While he of course personally upheld and encouraged solid adherence to halacha down to the last detail, he had Jews shine extra focus on mitzvot like:
​
  • Hadlikat Nerot shel Shabbat (lighting candles on time in honor of Shabbat)
  • Tefillin
  • Mezuzah
  • Torah Study
  • Tzedakah (donating your money to worthy Jewish causes)
  • Furnishing Your Home with Sifrei Kodesh (and even then, he focused on the minimum of a Chumash/5 books of Moses, Tehillim/Psalms, and a siddur/a solidly Orthodox prayer book)
  • Keeping Kosher
  • V’ahavta L’re’echa Kamocha—Loving to Your Fellow Jew like Yourself
  • Children’s education
  • Taharat Hamishpacha (the Laws of Family Purity)
 
And it imbues a really strong focus you can still see today.

For example, I personally know guys who are either secular or somewhat off the derech, but are makpid to at least put on tefillin—even during the most pressured morning—simply because of this emphasis of Chabad.

Yes, they should be upholding all the mitzvot, but this one adherence means they still bring Hashem into their lives on a daily basis and it can be the springboard for them to return to full mitzvah observance.
 
These 10 biggies weren’t the Rebbe's only mivtzo’im.

As is commonly seen, he made a big deal about having lots of children, Chanukah lighting, and a Lag B’Omer Parade.
 
On an individual level, Lubavitcher Chassidim need to learn a portion each day of:
  • Chumash
  • Tehillim
  • Tanya
 
This is excellent because it means that a Jew connects with the parsha on a daily basis, makes a personal davening that sweetens din, and gets a daily dose of mussar and other deep stuff.
 
But even what’s mentioned here weren’t the only mivtzoim. For more, please see Chabad Mitzvah Campaigns.

It sounds like a lot, and it is a lot, but they weren't introduced all at the same time, and there are 613 mitzvot to perfect. So these were a way to focus (which leads to upholding the rest).

Breslover Baby Steps

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov opposed unnecessary chumras and focused on speaking with Hashem in your own language an hour a day, plus maintaining a state of joy and resisting a state of fear.

Of course he himself was dedicated to every mitzvah and encouraged full mitzvah observance for every Jew, but again, the big Sages understood that people need focus.

You can’t swallow everything in one gulp.

One of the Brelovers from generations past, Rav Yankel Zhitomer (spelled "Zatamer" in the English translation of Words of Faith), spring-boarded the complete teshuvah of a hitman-for-hire (!) by suggesting that he start putting on tefillin.

Rav Yankel Zhitomer didn't even request that the lapsed Jew stop killing people or stop stealing! Like, "Hey, Moshe, why don't you start with the 10 Commandments?"

Baby steps: First, tefillin.

And this led to a complete turnaround in which this former hitman ended up regularly risking his life for Torah and mitzvot, and to help other Jews, including bringing life into the world and preserving life (he gave lots of tzedakah).

The Breslovers stated that his repentance was like coming back from the dead.

(Just to give you an idea of how low he'd fallen, the band Moshe joined was so fearsome that when the evil Communists took over, people were relieved that this band had less power — life actually improved! That's how bad this particular gang was — and Moshe was a part of them.)

And his complete teshuvah all started with tefillin.

(Actually, it really started with him coming to shul ONLY for kaddish for his father; he didn't even stay for the whole davening. Then Rav Yankel Zhitomer approached him as he tried to make his dash out.)

For more on this story, please see:
The True Story of How a Murderer did Teshuvah

 
For a woman very discouraged by years of infertility, Rav Shalom Arush recommended that she write down a gratitude list of 20 things—included the nisayon of infertility—with the intention that this would enable her to have children.
 
I was shocked that he didn’t recommend at least 5 minutes of hitbodedut.

​But I guess he knew whom he was dealing with. 

For some people trapped in a certain mindset, even the minute it takes to list 20 things can seem overwhelming.

Are You Crushed Under a Load of Rocks or Dancing with a Sack of Diamonds?

​In order to give GOOD advice, it’s necessary to understand what level a person is at and what step they need to take to bump themselves up a bit.
 
People get discouraged by too heavy a burden.
 
"Mentors" who insist that you jump very high through very convoluted hoops while juggling bowling balls—and to do this consistently—are probably not Gadolim.
 
They might be very well-intended and they might perform a lot of great acts themselves.

​But the question is whether you should listen to them.
 
If their advice and proclamations contradict the above recommendations of real Gadolim (or if their advice goes far out beyond what the above focused on), then you should find out what the real Gadolim advise and emphasize.
 
Why?
 
Because Judaism is a sack of diamonds, not a sack of stones.
 
And a sack of diamonds is much easier to carry with a happy heart than a sack of stones.
 
Focus and take baby steps.
 
That’s the way to save both yourself and the world.

May we all succeed in completing our tikkun in this gilgul in a sweet way without nisayon or bizayon.

For a related post, please see:
Judaism's Secret: Achieve the Glorious Maximum by Doing the Bare Minimum
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Keep it up one baby step at a time! (In other words, be like the baby and not like the teddy bear of leisure.)
2 Comments

Essential Advice on How to REALLY Live in This World - from Rav Avigdor Miller

23/5/2019

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Rav Miller’s dvar Torah on Parshat Behar is a very pleasant whomp right between the eyes.
 
One of my favorite aspects of Rav Miller on the parsha is his description of the true-to-life experience of Jews millennia ago in the Tanach.

​Using plain & simple language, he brings it all to life.

Yovel, Plus You as a Ger in This World

  • In Rav Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Behar (pages 1-3), you get to experience what the Yovel year was really like at the close of the 50-year cycle in which property reverts to its original owners.

  • Then (pgs. 3-7), using both stories of modern times & the Chafetz Chaim, Rav Miller details our temporary dwelling in This World and what that really means for us.
 
  • Pages 7-11 introduce the concept of geirus/geirut—usually understood to mean “convert,” it also means a temporary dweller in This World. (Also like how Moshe Rabbeinu said, “I am a ger in a foreign land.” He was born Jewish, but a ger, a temporary dweller in This World.)

In the Pele Yoetz chapter entitled Ger, Rav Eliezer Papo also discusses ger/geirut according to this interpretation. With Rav Miller, you get a glimpse into what Duties of the Heart/Chovot Levavot says about this idea, plus a modern-day analogy to make things clearer, what a mezuzah should inspire within us, and then the following amazing yet true story of a connected Jew with his heart & mind in exactly the right place:
 I once knew a Mr. Herman zichrono l’vracha from the Lower East Side.

Now, Mr. Herman was one of the very few devoted frum Jews in the olden days of America.

B’leiv v’nefesh [Heart & soul] he was devoted to Hakodosh Boruch Hu.

And he told me once that when he saw that all his money was going lost, that his business was quickly failing - it was at the time of the Great Depression.

So he right away took a thousand dollars - in those days a thousand dollars was a small fortune - and he gave it away to tzedakah on the spot.

He said, “Why should I lose that too? Why should I lose my chance at exporting more goods into the Next World?”

​And so Mr. Herman was a smart businessman…

Gadlus. And that was a so-called “regular” Jew no one has ever heard of!
 
Everyone can be great. It’s not at all a matter of renown or charisma.

Just quietly live for the Next World.

No one will write a book or even newspaper obituary about you (may you live in good health until 120), but you’ll be written in Hashem’s Book, and that’s all anyone really needs.
 
This section also helps you figure out how much you should invest in your material world here on Earth.

​It goes according to individuals and their different situations, so Rav Miller doesn’t offer hard ‘n’ fast rules, but pages 7-11 can help you figure out how to clarify things for yourself. 

God's Truth is Even Better than Science Fiction

  • Then (pgs. 11-14) you get some insights into David Hamelech and certain popular verses of Tehillim, insights you may never have considered before. (I hadn’t.) And you get to delve into the fascinating idea of how you and everyone you know are just figments of Hashem’s Supreme Imagination.

(This is not depressing, like how it is in sci-fi novels, but actually very comforting and inspiring.)

  • Pages 14-17 offer more insights into popular Tehillim, plus helpful hints on how best to utilize your alone-time and how to do hitbodedut in the most crowded, noisy circumstances.

The Pre-Mashiach Jewish Reality: Stuck between a Rock & Hard Place

​Do you ever find yourself irked by the following, as described by Rav Miller?:
"… a Jew is always hounded in this world; the Jew walks on the street in Europe and the goyim cast slurs on him; they tell him, 'Get out of our country you dirty Jew. Go to Israel!' And if he does, so the Arabs tell him to get out, the U.N. tells him to get out."

​Jew-haters are simply impossible to please! (So why bother trying? Hint, hint…)
 
  • Anyway, Rav Miller explains on page 17 why this dynamic exists and what it means for us.

One Torah, One People

Despite differences in custom, dress, culture, time, and language, real talmidei chachim keep coming up with the same themes and lessons from Torah.

  • Here (pgs. 17-18) Rav Miller speaks of Hashem as your Best Friend and what that means. And he sounds exactly like Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender.
 
Why?
 
Because all the real talmidei chachamim glean from the same sources and come to the same conclusions.
 
It ends on the heart-warming note of what you should remember about Olam Hazeh / This World whenever you look at a mezuzah:

"It’s the place where we spend our fleeting lives preparing to enter our permanent home in the Next World, where we will meet the Hashem Echad who was our One and Only True Friend in This World."


Note: After the dedications at the end of this dvar Torah booklet, there is a brand-new section for children: Toras Avigdor Junior, a 2-page large-print supplement accompanied by a pleasant drawing of Rav Miller with a child in the woods. After that, there is a Q&A regarding how to break the habit of losing one’s temper.
 
So even if you’re in Eretz Yisrael and already past this parsha, it’s very worth reading Rav Miller’s dvar Torah on it for the wealth of soul-nourishing Torah hashkafah it contains:
Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Behar: We Live in You
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2 Comments

What is the #1 Way to Facilitate a Kosher Pesach & Thus, a Kosher Year?

16/4/2019

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On page 220 of the first volume of Words of Faith, we encounter Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender’s Talk #17: Pe-sach — Only Tefillah!
 
Pe: peh—mouth
Sach: sach—to channel in another direction (when spelled with a samech), to converse (when spelled with a sin)
​
So we see from this that Pesach is about a personal & verbal relationship with Hashem.
 
This makes sense because in the Torah's whole saga of slavery and redemption, Am Yisrael rouse Divine Mercy whenever they cried out to Hashem.
 
Rav Bender recalls the Ari’s promise that whoever is careful from a little bit of chametz on Pesach is guaranteed not to sin the whole year.
 
And Rav Bender stresses that if we really want to achieve this, it can only happen through tefillah.
 
There are 2 advantages to doing this:
  • Via tefillah, we are saved from mistakes—unintentional chametz. (For example, after davening to be saved from chametz, you find yourself cleaning something you’d overlooked in years past and seeing chametz or possible chametz.)
 
  • You merit to be saved from chametz by attaining it through the highest means possible: tefillah.
 
Like Elul, Nissan is a month of teshuvah.

  • Elul is teshuvah from reverence. 
 
  • Nissan is teshuvah from love.
 
I’m not the only one to notice that a lot of kaparahs happen during Nissan leading up to Pesach.
 
Sometimes, it’s hard to see them because it looks like part of Pesach stress, but closer introspection often reveals something similar to what happens to you in Elul. 

The Elul-Nissan Connection

Rav Bender quotes Rebbe Baruch of Medzibuz, an uncle of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, by comparing Elul preparations to Nissan preparations.
 
In Elul & the 10 Days of Repentance, Jews are busy with fasting and repentance.
 
In Nissan, says Rebbe Baruch, Jews are “busy with preparing geese and fat ducks, fish, and eggs for the sake of the festive banquet” (Leil HaSeder).
 
If only we would switch the order, says Rebbe Baruch, and do in Nissan what we do in Elul, and repent and pray to be saved from a little bit of chametz on Pesach, then we would be sure not to sin the entire year, and THEN we wouldn’t need the fasts and mortification of Elul & the 10 Days of Repentance because we never sinned. (Yay!)
 
Rav Bender emphasizes the importance of tefillah in Nissan, especially in the days leading up to Pesach when it is hardest to find extra time for prayer.
 
“All beginnings are difficult,” he acknowledges as he encourages us to do our best.
 
You can also talk to Hashem while you’re scrubbing or sweeping or making charoset.
 
You can thank Hashem and force yourself to smile at least for a millisecond even when you’re stressed out.

Let's finish off with Rav Bender's final words on the topic on page 223:
Adar and Nissan are two months that a person has to make a special soul-accounting.
...

There are many types of work to do for Pesach. To get rid of chametz and other important work for the holiday.

​But make sure to also give tefillah an honorable spot. Without this, it is not only half of something — if it is lacking tefillah, it is lacking the main thing.
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