Category: Society

Parallels between the Generation of Dispersal & the Tower of Babel (Dor HaFlagah & Migdal Bavel): Link to a Fascinating Class, Plus Some Brief Explanation Here

18/1/2022

Ever since discovering (via Rav Itamar Schwartz) the reincarnation of the 3 Awful Ancient Generations in our times, so much of the craziness makes sense:
www.bilvavi.net/english/bein-hamitzarim-028-living-life-pnimiyus-today%E2%80%99s-generation

Apparently, the Generations of the Flood, Dispersion (Tower of Bavel), and Sodom currently exit within the souls of both Jews and non-Jews in our time.

This is in addition to the Erev Rav souls plaguing us.

And just as with the Erev Rav souls, the percentage of soul comprised by the above Generations differs from person to person.

Just like a Jewish soul may possess only a spark of Erev Rav, a Jewish or non-Jewish soul may only possess a spark of the Generation of the Flood, the Dispersion, or Sodom.

And when we're talking about sparks, this means that a person can elevate those dysfunctional sparks via working on character traits, emunah, and bitachon—thereby eliminating these sparks and purifying the soul.

That's the good news.

The bad news is that just like some Jewish souls aren't actually so Jewish and instead comprise mostly or all Erev Rav components...likewise, Jewish and non-Jewish souls can also comprise mostly or completely souls of the 3 Awful Ancient Generations.

This is why we're seeing modern versions of attitudes found in those 3 Awful Ancient Generations.

They're back.

Recently, I discovered a shiur (just under 38 minutes) by a rabbi with whom I'm not familiar, Rabbi Yonoson Roodyn:
Migdal Bavel - The Most Mysterious Building Ever Built
www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?a=34707

He describes the Generation of Dispersion (the Dor HaFlagah of Tower of Babel infamy) and the striking parallels to our time.

He also notes the difference in the all-encompassing emphasis between the first 2 Generations:

Generation of the Flood focused obsessively on the desires of the individual.
Generation of the Dispersion focused obsessively on creating a single-minded collective.

This explains why today's world features both an obsession with me, me, me...AND an obsession with homogenizing society via technology, media, combined with moving toward a socialist-communist structure.

We see the tug-of-war between these conflicting emphases in real-time.

Via this shiur, you'll see how truly NOTHING NEW lies under the sun.

Once you see the parallels, it makes things so much clearer and this clarity provides a path to develop the right attitude & values.

Meaning, instead of buying into to all the peer pressure and media propaganda to embrace values presented as "compassionate" or "liberating" or "open-minded" or "progressive" or "just," you'll see how a lot of that is simply the power-greedy communist Dor HaFlagah up to their old tricks 3786 years later.

(The Tower of Bavel fiasco occurred in the year 1996 from Creation/1764 BCE.)

I believe this knowledge can help us remain independent thinkers who cling more tightly to Torah hashkafah, rather than getting swept into all the feel-good brainwashing which actually derives from the newly arisen sparks of the 3 Awful Generations.

Please also remember Chazal already stated that these Generations have no portion in the World to Come.

They've returned now. But they hold no future in any world.

So if we follow them, chas v'shalom...where will we end up?

For more on this topic, please see:
The Invasion of 3 Ancient Generations://www.myrtlerising.com/blog/july-07th-2020
(Throughout that post, more links are available to understand even more.)

www.myrtlerising.com/blog/communications-from-stars-or-angels-in-todays-ufo-cults-nothing-new-the-generation-of-the-flood-did-that-too

Artist depiction of Migdal Bavel

Link to a Short Class on What the Zohar Says about Scandals before Mashiach

17/1/2022

With both global events & events within our communities (plus very personal events), we probably all feel the rope of emunah shaking very hard by now.

(Unfamiliar with the "shaking rope of emunah"? Then please click here: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/recognizing-the-spastic-rope-of-emunah.)

It's amazing how in just under 4 minutes, Rabbi Daniel Travis explains what's going on here:
Thanking Hashem When Things Look Bad #1063-Exposing Scandals Before Moshiach Pt1
www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=175717

Basically, the Zohar predicts how before Mashiach, the Erev Rav will make the Torah SEEM putrid.

It's not, of course.

The Torah is the clearest, purest, most beautiful part of the Universe.

But the Erev Rav will behave in a way that repels the world AWAY from the Torah.

It's sort of like throwing sewage all over the Hope diamond. You might think the large lump in the middle of the sewage is a particularly large and nasty chunk of manure.

But no...it's the Hope diamond.

No matter how much sewage anyone dumps on it, it remains just as prized & valuable as ever.

Sewage cannot do more than cover the Hope diamond. Sewage cannot actually harm or change the Hope diamond in any way.

Don't let yourself get confused by the vast amounts of revolting sewage dumped all over by the Erev Rav!

Don't be fooled! It's all a cover-up. A particularly flabbergasting and repulsive cover-up to be sure, but only a cover-up nonetheless.

The real diamond is still there...just as precious, unique, and unchanged as ever.

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Vayeshev: Fighting the Jewish Inferiority Complex

25/11/2021

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah Parshas Vayeishev-Chanukah 5 – The Chanukah Battle, we start off by receiving a fully detailed scene of what happened when Yosef HaTzaddik tried to escape the clutches of Potifar's wife.

Based on the Midrash, here's the illustrative description (page 4):

So now this poor innocent woman is standing on the street shouting to everybody,
pointing at this dirty fellow who had tried to violate her...

...Potiphar rushed home from work and when she told him the story, all the details about what this wicked Ivri had tried to do, he became full of rage; he seized Yosef and began pummeling him.

And after a good beating, he grabbed Yosef by the ear and she grabbed him by the other ear, and they dragged him to the police station, to come before the judges to be sentenced...

...She and her husband are dragging Yosef through the streets by his ears.

Potiphar was an important official and his servant was well known so this disturbance certainly drew a crowd.

Women and children were staring from the windows; the men were rushing out of their houses to the streets to see what was going on...

And our sages tell us that as Yosef was being dragged through the streets, Potiphar
and his wife were heaping contumely upon his head.

She was shouting accusations, and Potiphar was gnashing his teeth.

“Look what we did for him. We elevated him. We made him the majordomo, the manager of our house, and that's how he tried to pay us back? By acting so lowly?!”

And the Egyptians who witnessed this spectacle, they were looking on and shaking their heads.

“Well, that’s what you get for taking him as a slave in your house. What else could you expect from a Hebrew? Only a dirty Ivri could be that wicked and do such an uncivilized thing.”

Ivri means a Hebrew but for the Egyptians it meant a hated nation, a corrupt people.

And they were kicking Yosef and spitting at him, insulting him as he was being dragged through the street.

At the same time he endured all this, Yosef HaTzaddik kept repeated the same verse (Tehillim 39:9): "The reproach of low people should not come upon me."

Potiphera's wife had pursued Yosef. The Egyptian people were steeped in immorality.

Yet now all the hypocrites came to fore with appalled, offended, pearl-clutching sensibilities.

As if!

Yet Rav Miller notes this as characteristic of Jew-haters.

Dirty people will call a Jew "dirty Jew."

Greedy, power-hungry people will accuse Jews of loving money over all else.

Cold-hearted, hostile people accuse Jews of being the same.

Rav Miller references a letter Pope Gregory wrote to King Louis of France, declaring that “Jews commit the most terrible crimes that are too horrid to speak about.”

Oho, Catholic Church!

Not sure exactly which King Louis & Pope Gregory corresponded here, but we all know about the Catholic Church.

Yeah, there are some decent and sincere people there. In modern times, some proved instrumental in saving Jews during the Holocaust AND returning Jewish children to the Jewish people.

But historically, the Church has shown itself as a bastion of corruption & immorality & bloodshed.

Talk about pot calling the kettle black.

As noted within the PDF, Protestants complained about Jews trying to kill Christians at every opportunity. That was not true of the Jews, but of the Christians themselves.

Nazis accused the Jews of trying to murder & corrupt society...while the biggest murderers & corrupters of society were the Nazis themselves.

The list goes on.

Here's an interesting note on page 6 from Rav Miller:

There is extensive literature on this subject only that you can't get it.

It's very hard to buy these books that speak about the crimes of the church.

There's a powerful organization that sees to it that this literature is not available and therefore to get books, real works that reveal the deeds of the papacy is almost impossible.

One historical work I wanted to see when I was writing one of my books but it was very hard to get my hands on.

There's one copy in the public library in the main branch and you can't take it out.

That's what an organization can accomplish.

Look Who's Talking

Rav Miller notes how a person can feel ashamed if someone speaks publicly in Yiddish—even as Italians & all sorts of other ethnic groups freely speak their language without a care.

Some Jews feel ashamed or uncomfortable with traditional Jewish garb. Even seeing another Jew in Chassidic garb makes them uncomfortable.

Yet scores of non-Jews go about wearing purposely ripped clothes or pants sagging to an extreme, or other extremely undignified or vulgar styles.

Some even feel proud of their ugly, demeaning style.

Many belief systems entered the heads of frum Jews.

At one time, Jews felt attracted to the Egyptian mentality. Later on, many internalized Greek & Roman philosophies—including their music, literature, and attitudes.

Today, many frum people seek to harmonize atheistic & hedonistic ideas with Torah Judaism.

Some do so purposefully while some do so automatically.

Rav Miller elucidates how evolution crept into the Orthodox Jewish community on pages 10-11.

On pages 11-12, Rav Miller mentions books of Jew-hatred from the time of the Greeks until an old edition of Roget's thesaurus.

On pages 13-14, the rav offers examples of Jewish self-hatred.

Fighting the Jewish Inferiority Complex

On pages 14-19, Rav Miller describes the seeds of the Chanukah saga...and it all started out with a massive Jewish Inferiority Complex, which even infected knowledgeable Jews who should've known better.

In a nutshell, everything went into a slide all because of what Yosef HaTzaddik initially experienced at the hands of the despicable hypocritical Egyptians: cherpat naval.

In other words: being despised by lowlife hypocrites.

And here is the main lesson & goal of Chanukah for us today (page 18):

On Chanukah we’re expected to grow great in combating the yetzer hora that caused the trouble of Chanukah.

It means we have to begin falling in love with the Am Yisroel – that’s what Chanukah is trying to teach us.

And if we don’t get busy studying the emes of the Torah, then sooner or later the yetzer hora will win out and we’re going to fall into that error of the ancient Misyavnim [Hellenists].

On pages 19-20, Rav Miller describes his experience with one way to do this: reading Shir HaShirim.

It's true that if you pay attention to the words & understand that it's Hashem speaking to you personally with the uncompromising love expressed within, it's an incredibly powerful experience.

Saying Shir HaShirim for 40 days is also a good segulah to meet your zivug. My husband & I got engaged on Day 39. (He was saying it too, but not sure which day he was up to at that point.)

A synopsis of the real Chanukah story appears on pages 20-25.

Throughout pages 25-31, Rav Miller emphasizes the importance of appreciating the goodness of the frum community.

He acknowledges we are not perfect.

And he goes into detail on those pages.

By the way, thinking of yourself with self-worth helps you act that way. People tend to act to expectation.

Having grown up in a mostly non-Jewish secular society with the Conservative & Reform movements, I always noticed that frum Jews are THE most self-critical.

No other group ever criticizes themselves like frum Jews.

This includes all the frum Jews who constantly say, "We're in denial about this-and-such! Our community refuse to acknowledge/deal with this-and-such!"

No other community does that as far as I've ever seen.

Even the activist frum Jews who ARE doing their best deal with [fill in the blank], still go around decrying themselves by saying "we frum Jews aren't doing enough!"

It may be true they're not doing enough & that so much more needs to be done.

Yes, it's true!

But it drives me crazy when these same frum self-critics refuse to see through the self-propaganda of the non-Jewish/secular society, which portrays itself as having its act together, but really doesn't.

(I think this results from working exclusively with the frum community while studying articles, books, lectures, and podcasts from the non-frum/non-Jewish. You see all the problems in the frum community while the non-Jewish/non-frum community paints a picture of what they want. And let's not pretend their material has nothing to do with making a bestselling book or course, right? Sure, they focus on problems in their society, but with a coat of paint over it. Also, nowadays, many non-Jews lack the values to understand what is a problem & what isn't, and what is a solution & what is not.)

Their supposed resources & solutions are not as effective as they like to claim.

I have personal experience in this with them.

Yes, all their organizations and so forth manage to help some people.

They aren't completely useless.

But the reason why Western society as a whole is plummeting in every area results from a lot of stuff being mostly talk with very little action, or simply ineffective.

They can advertise & promote as much as they want, just like a pig can advertise & promote its kosher sign of a cloven hoof as much as it wants.

But inside, its digestive system acts like that of every other treif beast.

Credit for all material & quotes goes to Toras Avigdor.

Modern Sefardim, Shabbat in Morocco, and the Possible Messages of the Current Attacks on Jews

23/11/2021

In the Morocco of my mother-in-law's days (1940s-1960s), shemirat Shabbat stood as the rule, not the exception.

And Moroccan Jews kept Shabbat happily. It held enjoyment & meaning for them.

Living within a traditional Muslim society also meant belief in one God stood as the norm.

Religious customs, regular sessions of prayer times throughout the day, modest dress & behavior for both men & women, hospitality...this gave the Moroccan Galut a platform to embrace the fundamentals of Jewish tradition.

The moderate climate also enabled abundant harvests of a wide variety of fruits, legumes, and vegetables, which thus enabled a tremendous amount of generosity in feeding the poor.

Even when the secularizing French influence infiltrated both the Jewish & non-Jewish societies of Morocco, it lacked Eastern Europe's rabid craze for the destruction of everything religious.

Making Room for Religion

Even today, you see how less-religious Sefardim tend to give way to the more religious.

For example, during the blessing said during a bris milah, you'll see very secular-looking Sephardi women suddenly cover their hair out of respect for the blessings.

When attending religious weddings—including the not-terribly-religious weddings, even the most secular women make some attempt at tsniyut, whether it's being technically covered up with long pants & long sleeves, or a longer-than-usual skirt.

Normally bare-headed men don a kippah.

In fact, in a wedding with a lot of bare-headed guests, kippahs get passed out to anyone who needs, and everyone dons one. No considers it religious coercion.

In fact, I recently attending a wedding on my husband's side in which the bride's gown showed an appalling lack of tsniyut (as did most of the female guests)...but the initial dancing hosted by the secular-looking DJs featured a mechitzah smack in the middle of the dance floor!

And everyone respected the mechitzah (for as long as it lasted).

BTW, the mechitzah (pleasantly) shocked me because when I first came to Eretz Yisrael around 30 years ago, the solid dati-leumi committed to weddings with separate dancing, but no mechitzah.

So all the more so with this family, a very tepid dati-leumi, I felt sure there would be mixed dancing all the way.

But much to their credit, the first part of the wedding not only featured separate dancing, but also a mechitzah on the dance floor.

When I expressed my joyful shock, one of my older kids told me this has become the norm; most weddings among this crowd feature a mechitzah on the dance floor.

And frum pop songs blared out from the speakers, including chassidish ones.

And everyone loved it, singing along & raising their hands prayerfully to shout, "Hashem Melech, Hashem malach, Hashem yimloch l'olam va'ed!" (Hashem is King, Hashem has always been King, Hashem will remain King forever & ever.)

As another example of mixing: In the slideshow of the new couple projected onto the walls, posed next to his really nice yet extremely immodest kallah stood the chatan...wearing long thick tzitzit.

And a kippah, of course.

(In case you're wondering how the chuppah ceremony is conducted with such a revealing kallah at these secular-religious Sefardi weddings, the kallah usually wears some kind of covering under the chuppah only. Or her veil remains long enough to cover—even if it's a see-thru veil. And the rav acting as mesader kiddushin takes tactful care not to face her.)

Wait a Minute...WHO was Throwing Rocks Again?

At the same time, today's Sefardi communities developed a reputation for patience & acceptance of those seemingly less religious.

I wondered how it all went together back in Morocco's religiously devoted days of yore.

So I very nicely & sensitively asked my mother-in-law whether there were Jews who transgressed Shabbat in Morocco when she lived there.

"Yes," she said. "A few. But only inside their home. Never publicly."

"So there was never public desecration of Shabbat in Moroccan?"

"No," she said firmly.

She also indicated that the minority of Shabbat transgressors didn't want to take their Shabbat transgression to the street.

In other words, they weren't unhappy living amid a shomer Shabbat society, even if they did not believe it for themselves.

Intrigued by this complete (and correct) reversal of today's norm, I said, "What would have happened if they'd violated Shabbat on the street?"

"They'd throw rocks at them."

Oho, I thought. So it's not just those "fanatic charedim"...or so I assumed.

"Really?" I said. "In Morocco, the Jews threw rocks at Sabbath violators?"

My mother-in-law's eyes widened & she went speechless as did a double-take. "No!" she said when she'd recovered from the apparently shocking insinuation. She managed to stammer, "Not the Jews—the Arabs."

Now it was my turn for a double-take. "What—the Arabs?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Wait, let me get this straight," I said. "In Morocco, if a Jew would have violated Shabbat publicly, the ARABS would throw rocks at them?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Why?"

"Because they knew the Jews shouldn't be doing that."

If a Jew in Morocco walked out of his house smoking a cigarette or getting into a car on Shabbat, his NON-Jewish society would stone him on the spot.

The connection between obvious transgression & negative consequence back then & there was obvious to all.

In fact, even if you don't personally approve of it, it's hard to label that as Jew-hatred or antisemitism because the goyim in that situation were davka making sure Jews observed Judaism...as opposed to so many other times throughout history when the goyim tried to force Jews to violate Judaism.

And in addition to the basic respect these Shabbat-transgressors had for their Jewish society, the threat of stones zooming their way also kept their desecrations from crossing into the public sphere (a dynamic that ultimately weakens everyone & brings harsher judgement on a populace).

What Might These Nasty, Sometimes Lethal Hits be Hinting?

For millennia, our Neviim & Sages have been telling us that Jew-hatred is merely the stick used to keep us in line with our unique, holy, and unparalleled role in rectifying the world & achieving personal greatness in the This World & the World to Come.

The surrounding nations are a type of polishing-sifting mechanism for Am Yisrael.

Only rarely do the surrounding societies remind us to return to the framework of halacha in such an obviously pro-Torah manner, as the Moroccan Muslims did when they attacked Jews who publicly desecrated their own religion of Judaism.

Usually, it's much less targeted & much more anti-Torah than that.

(For example, throwing rocks at Jews for doing things like living in Eretz Yisrael or going to daven at the Kotel.)

It doesn't mean we cannot defend ourselves.

It doesn't mean the haters are blameless. They're wicked & will face harsh consequences for their Jew-hating actions.

But it does mean we should also look beyond the stick (even as we struggle to dodge or fend off the stick).

As we find ourselves hit once again by a wave of attacks by Yishmael, we can look at what might be going on beneath the surface.

Once again, the attacks come as hits from behind or from the side—unexpected, short & to-the-point, yet lethal (or almost lethal, depending).

One thing that comes to mind is the nasty little barbs people sometimes shoot at others.

While the offender usually minimizes the nasty barb as "cute," "clever," "funny," or "S/He deserved it," the victim often feels slapped in the face, gutted, humiliated, enraged, etc.

With comment sections & social media, nasty little comments have reached an all-time high, spreading faster & farther than ever—before an audience of hundreds, thousands, or even millions—and staying there theoretically forever.

Another message might be about all the seemingly "little" breaches people make in halacha.

The skirts that are just a bit too short, the shirt that's just a tad too tight. (Men shouldn't wear tight pants either: https://dinonline.org/2016/02/26/tight-clothes-for-men/.)

The hair-covering that's not completely appropriate (because, hey, the main thing is covering the hair).

The one little look at something online not completely appropriate or even absolutely forbidden.

How many men glance at something online when they could be glancing at something in limud?

And as sincere & heartfelt as one's simple love of Hashem may be, all the "little" breaches mentioned in the weddings above are as appalling as the sincerely observed mitzvot in those same venues are meritorious.

(Probably, there are also other ideas I'm not thinking of.)

In so many situations, the Yetzer Hara comes through the back door, sneaking up from behind or to the side of a person looking the other way.

Then the Yetzer delivers that stab, that bullet.

Needless to say, I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else. I also struggle with all sorts of stuff.

Of course, as far as practical protection goes, normal security methods should be implemented & strengthened.

But throughout Jewish history, our greatest Sages have always emphasized the need to invest in good soul-searching & teshuvah when faced with Jew-hatred.

The Beautiful Rose Garden that is You

Whenever we speak of self-scrutiny (cheshbon hanefesh), we must emphasize the importance of doing this with love & compassion.

We should feel GOOD about seeking out what we need to strengthen.

And taking baby steps in the right direction is absolutely fabulous. Generally, you don't need to make grand gestures unless you really feel willing & able to do so.

It shouldn't be depressing or "Oh no, not this AGAIN..."

It should be like weeding a beautiful rose garden.

You are the rose garden in all your glorious beauty—and you just need to do your lovely gloriousness a favor by pulling out a few pesky weeds.

If even that's too much (and for some people, based on their personality & traumatic experiences, it really might be too much), people are also free to dance & sing songs of praise to Hashem as a response.

Simply davening or saying Tehillim are also wonderful responses.

And that's it.

How to Utilize Secular Social & Psychological Research for the Frum Community...and How Not To

16/11/2021

At one point early in my years of becoming frum, I loved articles & books showing how a Torah concept exists & receives backup by secular sources.

It gave the Torah path validation.

Later, I felt troubled by these same articles & books.

Why do we need the support of secular sources to validate Torah views?

Especially since secular sources can mislead. Contrary to how they're presented, they're actually not objective.

People think atheism equals objectivity, but without awareness of the human soul, the tzelem Elokim (Divine image) imprinted upon EVERY single human being, and God...it's impossible to arrive at the Truth.

Without God & the Divine aspects of a human being, it's also impossible to fully heal people from trauma & mental illness & all sorts of other dysfunctions. (As we've seen, the rise of all sorts of addictions, dysfunctions, and mental illnesses in Western society parallels the rise of secularism.)

Sometimes Studies Apply to General Society, But Not to the Frum Community

For a long time, I believed that properly conducted studies held a lot of value.

I still believe this to a degree...but not as much as previously.

The studies are usually PRESENTED in a convincing manner and...well, looks can be deceiving.

For instance, the studies conducted on non-Jewish societies do not always apply to the frum community.

Let's take the studies on children of divorce.

As just one example:

Within general American society, studies showed how children of divorce were more likely to get divorced themselves as married adults.

It made sense and I repeatedly heard this applied to the frum community.

Because it made sense, I also believed this applied to the frum community...DESPITE the fact that my personal observation did NOT view this outcome.

Meaning, to my observation (which I paid no attention to because of the secular research results), most of the married children of divorced parents (whether FFB or BT) tended to not only stay married, but even seemed to have better-than-average marriages.

Why is this?

Officially, I don't know.

But my observations showed the following:

On shidduchim, adult children of divorce developed more solid ideas on what to look for & less swayed from their ideals by others, enabling them to find a better spouse.

Once married, they seemed not only more committed to making the marriage work, but held more insight into HOW to do that.

However, because of my unwitting bias in favor of the secular research, I instinctively ignored all that.

(Note: It's very politically incorrect to say this, but nonetheless...most children of divorce experience a lot of long-term pain over the divorce—EVEN when the divorce is necessary. It's not fair & it's not always true, but many times, the children perceive & experience the whole ordeal differently than their parents. As FRUM married adults themselves, they loathe putting their children through that & go to great lengths to avoid it. Their frum lifestyle, value system, and attitude greatly assist them in their marital goals.)

Yet it wasn't until I read the early incoming results of a study on the frum community—which showed that FRUM children of divorce are NOT more likely to get divorced.

Only then did the light bulb flash on, enabling me to see what my eyes & ears had been telling me all along.

(Disclaimer: The link to this study was bookmarked on my old computer, but when I upgraded, my bookmarks got "translated" into 112 pages of confusing computer-language text crammed together in one long 112-page sentence. For the life of me, I cannot remember or find this website run by a couple of frum guys. If I ever figure it out, I will post it here.)

Think about your own observations:

In the FRUM community—of the divorced people you know—how many came from married parents & how many came from divorced parents?

Offhand, I can think of only 2 who came from divorced parents.

One divorced woman was the child of secular parents who repeatedly divorced & remarried all sorts of other people throughout her childhood. She also continued to embrace certain secular attitudes even after she became frum (which I believe contributed to her insistence on getting divorced without a good reason).

Another divorced woman (who, ironically, should've gotten divorced much earlier; a rare situation in which divorce would've definitely benefited both her & her children) was the child of divorced secular parents & held onto the marriage as long as she could BECAUSE she didn't want her children to go through what she went through. She managed to hold out until the youngest hit the mid-teens before getting divorced.

(And despite initially insisting she never wanted to get married again, she is now happily remarried to a good guy, baruch Hashem.)

All the other divorced frum couples I've known grew up with married parents (as far as I know).

In fact, I know some frum families in which more than one child got divorced or in which one child divorced more than once. In one case, one child was married 3 times by the time he was in his early thirties!

And again, these multiply divorced children grew up with parents who stayed married to each other.

These are not children of divorce.

And it made me think...

How many frum singles on shidduchim were harmfully stigmatized by this secular statistic?

How many faced automatic rejection simply because people believed they were more likely to get divorced—when that's apparently not even true for frum people, not for FFB nor BT?

(Again, whether they're born frum or not, the basic fact of BEING frum does NOT make children of divorce more likely than anyone else to get divorced themselves—both statistically & observationally.)

Yet each time I encountered adult children of divorce who remained married, I automatically considered each one the exception without even considering the absurdity of there being so many exceptions!

Unfortunately, based on the secular research, I also perpetuated this false presumption within the frum community.

That divorce statistic is just one example of error when we apply the results of a general study to the frum community without further examination.

So yes, the studies can be helpful, however:

one must always look out HOW the study was conducted and...
...IF those results really apply equally to the frum community.

(Note: I'm not saying that frum children of divorce don't have issues. Addressing specifically the issue of marriage, I'm saying that statistically & observationally, when frum children of divorce get married, they don't seem to divorce more than anyone else.)

When Can These Studies Help?

When can these articles & books validating Torah sources be valuable?

Perhaps when they prod us to look at an aspect of Judaism we always dismissed based on cultural or personality attitudes.

For example, reading an email about an idea presented in a book by Michael Easter called The Comfort Crisis (which I've not read) reminded me of a famous Mishnah in Pirkeh Avot 3:1.

The best way to a truly fulfilling & happy life is to think about death!

Here's Pirkeh Avot 3:1:

Akavia the son of Mahalalel would say:

Reflect upon three things and you will not come to the hands of transgression.

Know from where you came, where you are going, and before whom you are destined to give a judgement and accounting.

From where you came—from a putrid drop; where you are going—to a place of dust, maggots and worms; and before whom you are destined to give a judgement and accounting—before the supreme King of Kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.

And an excerpt of Pirkeh Avot 2:10:

Rabbi Eliezer would say:

The honor of your fellow should be as precious to you as your own, and do not be easy to anger.

Repent one day before your death...

(The famous question that follows is: But how can we do that when we don't know the exact day of death? So Rebbi Eliezer said to them: "So being the case, he should repent today, for perhaps tomorrow he will die; hence, all his days are passed in a state of repentance.")

And this Zohar (found on the Level 3 of the understanding of the above Mishneh here www.dafyomi.co.il/general/info/avot/33.html):

And the Zohar says: "fortunate are those who imagine in their hearts as if this day they are leaving the world."

Echoing the above, The Comfort Crisis cites the results of researchers from Kentucky University.

Their study showed how people who contemplate their own death are more likely to:

Show concern for others (via donations of time, money, and blood to blood banks)
Feel more gratitude & appreciation for the life they now experience

In other words, contemplating death makes people nicer, happier, more fulfilled—and overall better people!

In the frum community, some people experience a resistance to delving too deeply into the above mishnayot, perceiving these concepts as too gloomy, negative, or depressing.

Or some people associate death contemplation with groups like the Goths, whose nihilistic attitudes take the whole idea too far.

(For example, I knew a Goth girl who garbed herself with black hair dye, black eyeliner, and black clothes & slept with an empty coffin in her room—in fact, I think she sometimes slept IN the coffin—not to remind herself in a positive way of death to motivate herself to live better, but in a creepy, need-to-be-unique-&-considered-deep nihilistic way. Not good.)

So coming across a scientific study proclaiming the benefits of contemplating death could open the mind of a Jew with a block in this area.

It could also provide a new window into the above mishnayot, rather than automatically avoiding them or dismissing these mishnayot as "for people in previous generations" or "not for our generation because it's too harsh for our modern sensibilities," etc.

Using Social & Psychological Research Wisely

So can we use research about general society? Does it have value for us?

Sure.

But we need to know HOW.

Common sense & our own observations must take priority to these studies.

We also need to know HOW these studies were done, on which populations, how big a population, etc.

Sometimes, the studies either aren't always right OR they aren't true for the frum population.

Furthermore, their proposed solutions might be lacking too, influenced by social agendas or money or prestige (or all three).

This proves difficult to resist because those who promote the results do so via incredibly persuasive methods.

They believe in the results, they believe this knowledge will help others...which is why they are so incredibly persuasive.

And like I mentioned above, I also used to take this stuff very seriously & promote it.

I also believed it!

So I do not demonize or condemn people who swallow this stuff whole & who promote it. Most genuinely intend to help.

But again, though well-intentioned, it's not always correct.

Also, even when the results are correct, the methods created to solve the issues are often not completely correct (and therefore, not completely effective).

Or maybe they're even harmful.

So regarding the solutions: The methods are simply neither correct nor effective OR they're only partially effective...BECAUSE they tend to evolve from an atheist framework.

In short, these studies can be used to:

open a person's mind to an aspect of Judaism formerly dismissed (whether consciously or unconsciously).
offer more accessible language to understand certain ideas within Judaism.
validate certain feelings & dynamics.
provide a springboard or framework to understand a certain area or dynamic.
provide some benefit; even if only partially effective, it's still better for the person than nothing at all.

But we should be careful not to swallow them whole & uncritically.

We should use our own minds & observations, not be afraid to question (at least silently for ourselves), and to recognize that scientists & researchers also hold bias & agendas (this is true even of the minority who truly strive for objectivity).

We should definitely imbibe regular sessions of Torah & mussar/Chassidus to keep our minds working in the right direction.

Torah is what gives the brain a good workout.

2 Personal Stories of the Covid Vaccine & Pregnancy, Plus What Our Real Attitude Should be regarding the Vaccine (and you probably won't like it)

9/11/2021

As demonstrated in a previous post (why-taking-the-position-of-late-adopterskeptic-makes-so-much-sense-regarding-any-new-drugs.html), any person has the right & the evidence to take the position of Late Adopter/Skeptic with regard to ANY new drug or vaccine.

Certainly, pregnant women need to take extra precautions.

Even vaccines considered safe by conventional medicine aren't always considered safe for pregnancy.

See, for example, this Mayo Clinic article which lists vaccines that should NOT be taken during pregnancy:

Chickenpox (varicella) vaccine
Measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine
Shingles vaccine

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/expert-answers/vaccines-during-pregnancy/faq-20057799

(In fact, conventional medicine recommends the measles vaccine not be taken within even 1 month of getting pregnant. That's how risky it is.)

So questioning the risk of a vaccine during pregnancy is a perfectly logical thing to do.

In fact, questioning the risk of any new drug or vaccine makes perfect sense.

ESPECIALLY for pregnant women (and children!).

The Covid Vaccine with Gestational Diabetes & a Possibly Pre-Existing Covid Infection

My youngest sister-in-law suffered gestational diabetes in her recent pregnancy.

It hit her really hard.

Because of her fear over covid & how her & her husband's businesses necessitated them interacting with all different kinds of people from all over, she decided to take the covid vaccine in her third trimester.

It totally knocked her out.

She suffered terrible coughing & fever & weakness.

When I spoke to her after Rosh Hashanah, she sounded terrible with a hoarse voice full of agony.

She is such an emotionally & physically strong & energetic person; it was shocking to hear how knocked-out she was.

She described how she could not even sit for the Rosh Hashanah meals, instead needing to lie down throughout the chag.

With 7 children, everything fell on her husband and oldest daughter.

Eventually, she recovered & insisted her severe reaction stemmed from an pre-existing covid infection, which overloaded her body with covid with the addition of the covid vaccine.

Fortunately, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl a few weeks ago & the whole covid fiasco seems behind them.

It's difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of such a severe reaction to the covid vaccine without proof.

But in addition to the risk of taking a vaccine while pregnant, I would think the diabetes would throw a wrench into things.

And why was she allowed to take such a new & untested vaccine while pregnant & WITH diabetes?

And why was she allowed to take the vaccine when she already had covid? (Unless no one knew she had it; that part isn't clear.)

I don't judge her. I understand her fear.

But I would think it would be, from a purely medical standpoint, contraindicated to take any vaccine—especially such a new & unnecessary vaccine—while pregnant & suffering diabetes.

Why are so many doctors not only allowing this, but even encouraging this?

Not all doctors are, of course. But why would anyone encourage this?

If it's true that she already had a covid infection, then it's the vaccine that knocked her out so badly, not the covid itself.

But again, there's no proof about exactly what happened. And baruch Hashem, she and baby are fine.

Yet one thing is clear: This pregnant diabetic suffered a truly debilitating reaction to the covid vaccine.

Why Some People Dread Another Bout of Covid

When covid swept through my neighborhood last autumn, I remember people who came down with a particularly bad case of it.

For example, we could hear our neighbor coughing outside when our windows were open.

It made us wince to hear such torturous coughing. And it went on for so long...

His wife told me other family members also caught the virus, everyone with different levels of severity from asymptomatic to hospitalization.

The whole family really suffered, whether it was directly from their own illness or taking care of ill family members.

She spoke in favor of the vaccine with a determined look on her face.

She asked me if we would get vaccinated and I gave her a side-winding reply in the effort to avoid any kind of confrontation or unpleasantness.

She didn't look happy about my apparent rejection of the vaccine, but desiring to avoid unpleasantness as much as I did, she didn't press the issue.

A Beautiful Scene of Mommy & Baby: Young, Idealistic, and Accomplished

One Shabbat at that same neighbor's invitation, I went to visit her & found her sitting on the couch with her newest daughter-in-law.

I'd been at the wedding of the young couple (she was 17; he was 19) and now their first baby sat between the mother-in-law & daughter-in-law.

The baby was an auburn-haired 8-month-old with sparkling brown eyes & long black eyelashes.

As my neighbor gave her baby granddaughter an affectionate squeeze, she said, "I don't know why, but this one is so attached to me!"

Seeing the chemistry between them, one would think they were mother & daughter, rather than mother-in-law & daughter-in-law.

The daughter-in-law (who's probably only 19 by now) sat decked out in her glamorous Shabbat finery with skillfully applied makeup.

She looked so confident & satisfied with herself—a state I witnessed often among the frum community's young mothers and one I sometimes experienced myself (even though at 24, I wasn't as young as they are when I had my first).

Due to the much later stage the average American gets married nowadays, plus their very different attitude toward marriage & childbearing, I never saw this exact state in secular society.

But the youthful idealism that accompanies the frum young women who feel that managing a home & a baby is an extremely gratifying achievement imbues these young mothers with a certain glow & sense of accomplishment.

When they manage to get their homes & selves into "perfect" shape for their husbands (and doing it for themselves too), plus taking good care of their new baby, they feel so good about themselves.

In addition, there's an innovation toward problem-solving that goes with young motherhood too, and that sense of innovation in problem-solving also builds their self-confidence.

(Side note: This something intrinsic. Even as far back as 1894, the frum 18-year-old Rachel Calof, married & pregnant on the prairie of North Dakota, reflected this same sense of satisfaction & accomplishment when she reached certain self-made goals in dire circumstances. She writes of this in her memoir: www.amazon.com/Rachel-Calofs-Story-Homesteader-Northern/dp/0253209862)

And sure, this pinnacle often fades as the family grows (making it impossible to maintain those high standards without help—if at all), plus the husband usually isn't aware of how much hard work she invests behind the scenes in making everything look so good & function so well, so she relaxes her standards over time.

But this very early period of marriage & motherhood can be a very gratifying time for the young mother.

And that's what I saw: A young woman who felt wonderful about herself, her baby, and her life.

She had it all.

And then she decided to take the vaccine.

The Covid Vaccine while Pregnant (Unhappy Ending)

First, she took a pregnancy test.

It came out negative.

But no one knew at the time that it was a false negative.

She actually WAS pregnant at that time.

So unwittingly, she got vaccinated while pregnant.

When my neighbor (the mother-in-law) related how her daughter-in-law's pregnancy ended in a stillbirth at 6 months, she lowered her voice & confided, "I'm positive the vaccine caused it. The bleeding started right after she took the vaccine."

Both the medical staff & the family did everything they could to save the baby.

My neighbor arranged for the young couple to move in with them to relieve the young mother of all domestic burdens, allowing the young mother to minimize any physical & emotional stress in order to save her unborn child.

"It was so difficult," my neighbor sighed. "At 6 months, she needed to go through labor & birth, all the while knowing she wouldn't have a baby in the end."

It hurt to hear the story, especially since this young woman wasn't even out of her teens yet & had been feeling so good about her life & doing so well.

The neighbor sighed again.

"My mother-in-law insisted on taking the third shot. Well, it's understandable due to her age & she's so afraid of getting sick with covid. But now I just think that..."

She flapped her hands as if swatting something away and looked me in the eye. "You know what?" she said. "It doesn't matter. Getting vaccinated or not getting vaccinated...it's all from Hashem. We can't know anything. Only Hashem decides."

And I openly validated her with all my heart.

Then I gave her my heartfelt blessings for their good health in the future.

Say No to Vaccination during Pregnancy

I realize that 2 incidents do not prove harm, especially since there's no proof the vaccine affected these two pregnant women so badly.

Yes, there are indications their suffering stemmed from the vaccine.

But no proof.

However, it's clear that vaccines can affect pregnant women negatively.

These aren't the only examples.

Maybe some pregnant women respond well to getting vaccinated while pregnant.

But so many do not. That's cause enough for concern.

And why should a vaccine be pushed or even allowed for pregnant women when it has not undergone rigorous long-term testing?

Why take that risk?

Why are pregnant women not only allowed the vaccine, but even encouraged to take an unproven vaccine that could harm them much more than the virus itself could?

After all, when mumps and then measles ran around the frum community here in Eretz Yisrael (including mumps in those vaccinated against mumps), no one recommended pregnant women get vaccinated against these diseases.

So why recommend it for covid?

Combine this with my observation that almost everyone we know who has come down with the Delta variant was vaccinated at least twice (including my husband's other younger sister who was not pregnant & dealt with a very light case of the Delta covid AFTER she received at least 2 vaccinations.).

Based on the above, along with the whispers of other disasters regarding pregnant women & covid vaccination, my present position stands firmly against any covid vaccination while pregnant.

It's not the only vaccine harmful to pregnant women.

A Most Unpopular Position

Here's another issue I think will make a lot of people angry at me, but I'm following Rav Itamar Schwartz on the vaccine simply because I've found his whole approach to covid so helpful and true.

Rav Itamar Schwartz is not in favor of the vaccine, but nor is he against it either.

He often tells people they need not take it. It seems he himself has not taken it nor does he plan to.

But in some cases, he tells people they can & if so, to do so without fear, but only bitachon in Hashem.

For example, when asked about taking the covid vaccine in order to come to Eretz Yisrael (because people aren't being allowed in without it), he considers this an excellent reason to take it because the merit of coming to Eretz Yisrael will shield a person against any harm.
https://question.bilvavi.net/blog/2021/10/09/going-to-eretz-yisrael-but-i-dont-want-to-vaccinate/

And this one:

VACCINATING-LEARNING IN ERETZ YISRAEL
October 19, 2021

QUESTION:
What should I do if the Israeli government authorities require that I take the corona vaccine in order to learn in yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael?

ANSWER:
There is no need to take the vaccine.

But if they require you to take it, do not worry, Hashem is watching you especially [because], you are involved with a great mitzvah and you will not be harmed, with siyata d’shmaya.

https://question.bilvavi.net/blog/2021/10/19/vaccinating-learning-in-eretz-yisrael/

This is why I'm not actively opposing the vaccine (even though I remain highly suspicious of it and, as described in a previous post food-for-thought-how-avoiding-the-c0id-vaccine-improved-our-health-finances-and-our-torah.html, both my husband & I have been mosser nefesh NOT to take it).

This is why when my neighbor went from being gung-ho in favor of the vaccine to giving it all up to Hashem, I supported her so passionately.

From all the vaccine and covid smoke-and-mirrors, she managed to reach the exact point Hashem wants us to reach: There is only Hashem.

And that's why even though I personally continue to avoid the vaccine, I also do not condemn or try to convince people who do believe in the vaccine's efficacy & wish to take it.

I realize this neither-here-nor-there position is the most unpopular one at this point.

Most people come down firmly either in favor or against.

Both sides consider people like me stupid ("Can't you SEE what all the evidence shows?"), ignorant ("Are you not current with the latest information?"), and uncaring about human life ("Without the vaccine, everyone is gonna die!" "With the vaccine, everyone is gonna die!").

And I admit I don't completely understand Rav Schwartz's views on the covid vaccine.

(Actually, I don't completely understand him on anything. But whatever I do understand always gives me tremendous benefit.)

So I cannot answer questions about his views on the vaccine (though I strongly encourage others to do their own research; maybe YOU will understand more & can explain it all to me).

Struggling to Stay on the Straight Path

I personally know people who suffered a severe reaction to the covid vaccine (including 2nd and/or 3rd jabs)—both pregnant and not.

I also personally know people who received the vaccine and felt just fine. And they still feel fine.

And no one KNOWS the long-term consequences...because enough time simply has not gone by to be considered "long term."

By "no one," I mean no one on either side of the issue.

We can't KNOW something for sure until it happens. We can make very educated—even accurate—predictions. But we can't KNOW.

Certainly, people can make educated guesses based on current studies & observations.

For example, I personally will continue to avoid the vaccine.

I will personally continue to consider the vaccine not a real vaccine because it does not seem to actually vaccinate. (Again, nearly everyone we know infected with the Delta variant received the covid "vaccination." How is it considered a vaccination when it does not seem to vaccinate?)

Or maybe it does actually vaccinate some people?

And my family's hishtadlut for covid-prevention continues to be taking vitamin D, vitamin K2, and zinc. (We forget to take it every day, however. Also, large amounts of vitamin D deplete magnesium, which can cause muscle aches. So if you're taking a lot of vitamin D & you're suffering aching joints & muscles, magnesium can help tremendously. Magnesium helped me overnight.)

Anyway, things are very up in the air & I very much want to focus on Hashem's Hand in it all rather than focusing so much on the vaccine itself (including the nasty plans of powerful people). This includes both opinions, whether believing the vaccine is the answer for humanity or considering it a deadly weapon of the global elite.

I very much want to focus on Hashem's Power.

And I'm just trying to do this in the best way I can.

(Having said all that...PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD NOT TAKE THE VACCINE!)

Note: To glean any understanding of Rav Itamar Schwartz's views on the covid vaccine, one must comb through all his answers on the topic & be able to understand what he says, including when he goes into deep Kabbalistic explanations.

And thus...any email or comment sent bashing Rav Schwartz in any way will be deleted unread & unanswered.

Even if the bashing is well-intentioned & diplomatically worded, I am not interested in reading it especially since my sensibilities tell me any bashers probably lack the time & intellect to thoroughly comb through everything Rav Schwartz has said, both in Hebrew & in English translation.

After all, I myself lack the intellect to thoroughly comb through & understand everything he says on the topic.

So I don't think a critic or basher would either.

So bashing without fully understanding the person? Pointless.

Why Taking the Position of "Late Adopter/Skeptic" Makes So Much Sense regarding ANY New Drugs

8/11/2021

Many drugs introduced into the market are later found unsafe, ineffective, or simply not doing well what they were intended to do.

Even vaccines considered safe for most cause harm to a minority.

Even vaccines considered safe by conventional medicine aren't always considered safe for pregnancy.

See, for example, this Mayo Clinic list of vaccines that should NOT be taken during pregnancy:

Chickenpox (varicella) vaccine
Measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine
Shingles vaccine

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/expert-answers/vaccines-during-pregnancy/faq-20057799

So questioning the risk of a vaccine during pregnancy is a perfectly logical thing to do.

In fact, questioning the risk of any new drug or vaccine makes perfect sense.

The "Oops!" Side of the Drug Market

A big part of the push for the covid vaccine lies in the presumption of covid as a highly contagious life-threatening disease.

While personal observation & experience shows that the covid epidemic does cause more complications than the average flu season (as described here: imagine-theres-no-mediawhat-is-your-personal-reality-of-covid-19.html), I personally have not observed it to be more lethal than any other cold or flu virus...except for the populations always at risk for any virus or viral complication.

Also, so many people undergo such a light bout of covid, with many not even displaying any symptoms (except for testing positive), it's hard to take the covid vaccine hype seriously.

And finally, it is perfectly reasonable for anyone to say, "I wish to hold off from the vaccine until it develops a proven safety record."

A safety record can only occur over time. Rationally speaking, there is no immediate way to develop a history.

You need time.

Given the fiascos with medical products in modern times, taking the position as a "late adopter" is a respectably logical position.

Xanax
For example, the sedative Xanax was initially promoted as the non-addictive alternative to Valium...until widespread long-term use showed Xanax as MORE addictive than Valium.

Didn't they test Xanax before it went on the market? Yes, of course.

But some things cannot be known until a certain amount of time passes.

Antidepressants
An uncommon yet terrible side effect of anti-depressants is how they cause some people to become MORE depressed. For some people, taking antidepressants incites them to commit suicide—or even homicide.

Because they aren't common, those deadly side effects took a while to discover.

In other words, observers needed long-term observation to discover these uncommon yet dangerous side effects.

These side effects simply could not be seen until enough time went by.

Suprofen
After testing, drug manufacturers pushed the anti-inflammatory pill Suprofen on the market, causing it to be prescribed to a wide number of patients.

Then doctors discovered Suprofen causes kidney damage.

Nearly 25% of Suprofen-users suffering Suprofen-induced flank pain ended up in the hospital, which caused its recall in the 1980s, first in Europe and then in the United States.

So anyone who wishes to wait a year (or five) upon the introduction of a new drug certainly shows good sense.

Trovafloxacin
With FDA approval, Pfizer introduced an antibiotic called trovafloxacin in 1997. But 2 years later, after around 100 cases of liver damage & even death, the FDA recommended limited usage of the drug before Pfizer completely withdrew the drug from the market in 2000.

The 1976 Flu Vaccine
With "experts" predicting a flu epidemic on par with the Spanish flu pandemic, researchers put together a flu vaccine, which President Ford made compulsory. Yet they stopped the vaccine campaign when they discovered a link between the vaccine and a neurological disorder.
https://americasfrontlinedoctors.org/2/frontlinenews/how-can-you-tell-the-difference-between-information-and-propaganda-commentary/

The above are just 4 examples.

More exist.

But we see that taking a wait-and-see attitude regarding medications & vaccines shows healthy caution & good sense.

Even conventional doctors choose to wait a year or more before prescribing a new drug to their patients.

Such doctors are labeled Late Adopters/Skeptics by drug companies.

In other words, being a Late Adopter/Skeptic is a perfectly legitimate position to take.

It's a legitimate category shared by conventional doctors.

Anyone who wishes to adopt that position for ANY drug or vaccine (ESPECIALLY regarding its use on pregnant women or children) clearly has the right to do so.

And, as described above, solid evidence exists to support this position as a logical & responsible one.

What's Wrong with Holding Out for PROVEN Effectiveness & Safety?

Ever since they introduced the idea of a covid vaccine, a lot of talk developed regarding "rights" and the "right" to NOT undergo medical procedures, religious rights, and so on.

Many people question the safety of the covid vaccine, the motivations of those who push it so hard, and even its basic effectiveness.

(Personally, I have a hard time calling it a vaccine at this point. Everyone we know who fell ill with the Delta variant had received 2 or 3 vaccine shots. Is it a vaccine if it doesn't vaccinate?)

On the other side stand people who genuinely fear covid & its continuously mutating variants AND they look to the vaccine as salvation.

This side comprises 3 groups:

People who, due to their medical condition, genuinely face serious risk from a covid infection. That's understandably scary for them & those who care about them.

People who suffered such a bad bout of covid, they understandably fear another infection.

People who crave getting back to normal. They see whole-population vaccination as the way to return to normal. Their desperation leads them to believe anything the mainstream tells them about the vaccine (even if it's obviously not true...like how so many of the vaccinated fall ill with the Delta variant).

(Just for knowing: Rav Itamar Schwartz says covid will never disappear until Mashiach. Yes, there will be periods when we'll feel like we've almost gone back to "normal"—picture the outward ebb & inward flow of a fluctuating tide—but covid is here to stay, vaccine or not.)

You have respected rabbis & doctors on both sides of the equation.

(BTW, "respected rabbi" means NOT every guy with smicha or who heads a shul. Respected rabbis possess genuine da'as, and not just a certificate or a position.)

A person could evaluate his or her personal situation AND all available material on the issue...and decide it is worth taking the vaccine.

A person could also evaluate all those same factors and decide NOT to take the vaccine.

Here's a purely objective & rational point of view:

If a person wishes to take a wait-and-see attitude regarding ANY medicine or vaccine, this is a completely rational & responsible position to take—ESPECIALLY in light of the recent history of drug mishaps & recalls.

Therefore, an intelligent, rational person can logically say regarding any new medicine or vaccine:

"First, I wish to see proven its:

effectiveness (does it even do what it claims to do?)

and

safety

over the long term."

This is especially important with regard to a drug or vaccine's effect on pregnancy or children!

Just as another example regarding children:

It took years to notice how Ritalin stunts growth & development in many children (source).

Once they noticed that 3 years on Ritalin produced shorter, less developed children, they needed to plan a study for another TEN years to see whether that lack of growth translated into shorter adults. (It seems it doesn't...according to a study that took over TWENTY years, source.)

But look at the amount of TIME necessary to discover all that.

(BTW, I witnessed a striking example of this in my friend's identical twins. After commenting to my friend about seeing her twins at age 14, and how one twin had sprouted up & developed broad shoulders and more manly appearance while his identical twin brother remained significantly shorter with a little-boy appearance, she looked at me and said, "Yeah. The smaller one is the one on Ritalin." But now they're 20 and around the same height & build.)

Again, long-term evidence is impossible until enough time passes to create the "long" term.

Why is this position important?

The Most Logical Position

Taking a step back to demand actual PROOF of a drug's LONG-TERM safety & effectiveness is RATIONAL.

It's pure logic.

Some people believe there is a sinister global conspiracy behind covid & the covid vaccine, some people in a partial conspiracy...while others believe anything the mainstream tells them about covid & its vaccine.

People hesitant about the vaccine face demonization, job loss, and more.

Then a lot of talk goes on about conspiracies, or religious objections, or the right to put or not put stuff in your body.

But the basic fact is that taking the position of Late Adopter/Skeptic is completely legitimate on its own.

It doesn't matter what you believe about the motivations of world leaders or your "rights."

Simply saying, "I wish to see the long-term effects" makes so much sense.

And that's it.

No emotion. No conjecture. No theories.

Just a very sensible & responsible position.

Having said that, I know many people protest this position with declarations of how so many doctors consider in perfectly safe and "We've been using mRNA vaccines for years!" and strongly recommend people take the covid vaccine, reassuring them of its safety.

But here's the thing:

Early Adopter Doctors ALWAYS do that with new drugs!

When doctors prescribed Xanax under the impression that it was less addictive, they meant well.

When doctors initially prescribed suprofen or trovafloxacin, do you think they MEANT to damage their patients' vital organs or even kill them?

No! No, no, no.

Those doctors sincerely wished to help their patients.

One doctor, a Late Adopter who held to a policy of never prescribing a new drug until it had been on the market for a year, ended up prescribing suprofen to his own mother after ongoing intense pressure from a pharmaceutical rep convinced him to change his position.

Suprofen killed his mother.

Do you think he WANTED to kill his own mother?

NO. Of course not.

New medications & vaccines are always a risk UNTIL they develop (if they develop) a PROVEN track record.

So anyone who wishes to hold off on the covid vaccine is demonstrating a perfectly rational & responsible position WITHOUT ANY OTHER CONSIDERATIONS in the equation.

Final Thought

While this post takes a scientific, rational stand on the issue...as a religious person, I must emphasize that whether someone takes the vaccine or not, everything is in Hashem's Hands and ONLY HE decides the effects (positive or negative) of a vaccine or disease or the contagiousness of a disease.

This especially applies to covid, which is a direct result of having shifted into the Keter d'Keter d'reisha d'lo ityada dimension & the 50th level of tumah.

(If you want to see why I believe this, you can read this: https://bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.Corona.Talks.pdf )

Note #1: The story of the doctor who prescribed suprofen to his mother with lethal results can be found on pages 45-46 of Confessions of an RX Drug Pusher by Gwen Olsen. Gwen herself was the rep who convinced the doctor to change his position. The book was written in part to make up for her former actions.

Note #2: Rav Itamar Schwartz recommends praying for Hashem to shine the light of Redemption on the world as a way of sweetening & reaching the era of Mashiach.

For more on Keter d'Keter d'reisha d'lo ityada, please see: www.myrtlerising.com/blog/scientists-are-documenting-the-keter-dreisha-dlo-ityada-only-they-dont-know-it, plus the links included within the body of that post.

What Rivka Imeinu Teaches Us about Using Our Flaws & Dysfunctional Backgrounds to Save the World

5/11/2021

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In the Bitachon Weekly for Parshat Toldot, we receive tremendous encouragement & mussar regarding our flaws (both in ourselves & our upbringing.)

While Hashem answered the prayers of Yitzchak Avinu as a tzaddik ben tzaddik, Rivka Imeinu saved Am Yisrael (and the world) by understanding who Esav really was & arranged for Yaakov to receive the blessings of the firstborn.

Rivka Imeinu grew up with an evil, greedy, manipulative father in a society dark with the occult—with her father, Lavan, being one of the leading occultists.

Yet she managed to not only realize the wrongness of her upbringing, but transform herself to turn out completely differently than her family & background.

True, she merited help along the way. She grew up hearing about Avraham Avinu & Sara Imeinu (who merited fame in ancient Mesopotamia), knowing they were her relatives.

It seems her nursemaid, Devorah, also influenced Rivka positively.

But Rivka needed to accomplish the main work herself.

And she achieved the opposite extreme of her father.

Where Lavan was evil, Rivka epitomized pure goodness.

Where Lavan was greedy & manipulative, Rivka excelled in loving-kindness & seeking to fulfill the needs of others in any way imaginable.

Where Lavan relied on the gruesome dark occult, Rivka clung to the Purity & Oneness of Hashem—without elaborate rituals, but only her lips & heart.

And even though Yitzchak Avinu's merit of tzaddik ben tzaddik brought the fulfillment of their prayers for children...Rivka Imeinu's merit as tzaddik ben rasha, a person born into a corrupt society & flawed upbringing—THAT enabled her to identify the real Esav and to take action to rescue the future.

Swimming against the Current Makes You a Stronger Swimmer

The process of building ourselves & overcoming all that drags us down often reveals the best of ourselves.

It doesn't mean we all respond perfectly.

It doesn't mean we don't have down times & failures & times when everything we do feels so dry & lifeless.

That bare fact of us making any effort at all to be different than our society & our upbringing—THAT matters to Hashem more than the visible accomplishments measured by the standards of whatever society we find ourselves in.

That effort matters even more to Hashem than our feelings about the effort.

Just like Esav looked more accomplished & impressive than Yaakov Avinu...

Esav strode out into the fields to hunt the choicest meat for his father. He prepared the food in the most delectable way & always donned his finest clothes before entering the presence of his father. In a sincere desire to feel pious & good, Esav asked his father all sorts of probing questions regarding Torah Law.

Yes, Esav LOOKED like the ideal son.

Esav acted the part to perfection.

Esav also felt great about himself & his actions. He enjoyed giving his father so much honor!

But it was quiet, introspective, non-flashy Yaakov whom Hashem saw & chose.

Could Rivka Imeinu have become who she became & accomplished what she accomplished had she grown up among tzaddikim?

She would've been great, of course...but apparently not as great as she became.

How do we know?

Because Hashem gave her exactly the flaws & dysfunction she needed in order to become one of the most outstanding people who ever lived.

Image courtesy of Toras Avigdor. Used with permission.
https://torasavigdor.org/rav-avigdor-miller-on-adam-harishon-the-heretic/

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A Charedi-Secular Debate in Real Time, Plus Another Little Social Experiment

3/11/2021

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While at work, a 15-year-old secular girl approached my charedi-looking son to challenge him about the uselessness & harm of charedim on society.

Having just finished a school project on the topic, she felt very sure of her position.

May I just interject here to say how harassing this is? If you're charedi, you often encounter this behavior when you leave your home/enclave.

I've started to dread family simchos because of this. My husband even encountered this when he went to be menachem avel his cousins at their mother's shiva, after he bussed himself all the way there in extremely hot weather & missed work & kollel for it.

I personally try to be very considerate & non-judgmental toward others outside my group.

But it doesn't help much because you can never be nice enough. Even if they like you, they're angry at you for being part of a community they view as the bane of humanity. Also, they hold you responsible for the bad behavior of your community's baddies.

(They, of course, do not consider themselves responsible for any corruption & dysfunction in their own communities. Only charedim are held accountable for theirs.)

But can you imagine if I would just go up to a Reform Jew at a wedding and start challenging him on how awful & hypocritical the Reform movement is, and how their intermarriage & fake conversions have caused a spiritual genocide?

Or if a charedi person would confront a secular co-worker about how truly awful his lack of Shabbat observance was, and all the damage that causes his soul & to Am Yisrael?

What if, at a family simcha, I made snide comments to my cousins about their intermarriages and, in the case of my male cousin, his 100% non-Jewish children?

I don't do that. And I wouldn't do that.

The thing is...when charedim do engage in such behavior (or maybe they didn't, but others imagine they did—that also happened to me), the charedim get dragged across the coals, badmouthed behind their backs & on Internet forums & social media.

But for everyone else, engaging in this harassment is perfectly acceptable.

It's incited by the media, which loves to report on anything perceived negative in the charedi community. (Even some charedi media does this.) Some of it may be true, some true but greatly exaggerated & distorted, and some not true.

But even when the same dysfunction occurs in their own communities, they either refuse to address it or they address it without all the vitriol & venemous condemnation they reserve for their criticism of charedim. In other words, it's only bad when charedim do it.

To end this diatribe on a positive note, secular Jews now also approach charedim with friendliness more than they ever used to.

But back to the original topic...

My son debated with himself whether to ignore her or attack back, but then decided to use plain 'n' simple arguments in a calm manner.

The Debate Begins...

She brought up the classic army service complaint (most charedim don't serve).

He explained how many enlisted soldiers don't do anything militarily useful anyway (this is well-known in Israeli society, but it's taboo to ever mention it) because the IDF is so bloated with people considered unfit for militarily useful position (like combat or military intelligence, etc.).

Then he asked her, "How many kids are in your family?"

"Two," she said.

"How many are planning to do army service?"

"Well," she said, "I'm planning to enlist, but my brother will do sherut le'umi."

(Talk about gender switcheroo! In the dati community, for example, boys do army & girls do sherut le'umi—national service. Also, for the vast majority of females in the IDF, their "service" is useless. But look at the social brainwashing among these secular youth...)

"Okay," said my son. "In your family, one sibling does army service. In my family also, one brother did army service. So why is your family superior to mine with regard to army service? Anyway, tons of charedim do army service. Probably there's at least one from every building in my neighborhood."

So then she countered with complaints about charedim not paying taxes or contributing their fair share the economy.

"Is your home rented or bought?" he asked.

"We rent our apartment."

"Well, my parents bought ours, which means my charedi parents need to pay property taxes & other taxes that your non-charedi parents don't."

"But charedim don't work..."

My son (dressed in a white shirt, black pants, and a black kippah with his tzitziyot out) laughed. "Oh, really? I'm standing here working, and you say to my face that charedim don't work? Anyway, lots of charedim work. In most charedi couples, at least one spouse works—if not both."

Then he said, "Have you heard of Yad Sarah?" (Founded by Rabbi Uri Lupolianski in 1974, Yad Sarah provides free medical equipment & services to all sectors of Israeli society regardless of religion or ethnicity—and including tourists.)

"Sure," she said. "My grandmother's wheelchair comes from Yad Sarah."

"Really," said my son. "Well, the founder of Yad Sarah is charedi."

"I don't believe you," she said.

"Google it," he said.

She did.

Then my son mentioned the charedi-staffed Zaka & Hatzalah.

"How much do you want to bet that if you got into an accident, Hatzalah would be first on the scene?"

"My cousin got into a motorcycle accident recently," she said.

"Call him right now and ask him who showed up to treat him," said my son.

So she called her cousin & asked him, and he replied, "Oh, a couple of really sweet charedi guys showed up, treated me at the scene, then took me to the hospital."

"Was it Hatzalah?" she asked.

"Maybe," he said. "I don't remember what was written on their equipment. But they were real charedim—and real professionals."

The End

I don't remember the rest of their conversation, but it ended with her eyes teary & red as she sank into silence.

And after all her investment in researching her school project...

The truth is, she's not at fault.

She's surrounded by a certain narrative with no encouragement to access anything outside that narrative.

Also, it's appalling that a school in a "Jewish" country enables such a hate-filled project and that her teacher accepted it without challenging its bias & lack of facts.

(Probably the teacher agreed with it.)

Actually, if I was into TV (which I'm not), I would think my son should have his own reality show.

Most reality shows are faked on some level.

But he seems to be really good at the these spontaneous challenges, like the elevator challenge with Mustafa (an-informal-social-experiment-indicates-israeli-society-discriminates-against-charedim-more-than-against-arabs-and-why-that-happens.html) or getting the girl to call her cousin regarding who arrived first to the scene of his accident.

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1 Example of How Jew-Hatred Helps Keeps a Jew Jewish

2/11/2021

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On the topic of anti-Jewish bigotry being a way to keep Jews in Judaism...

I was speaking with a young man from a charedi family who no longer looks frum, but insists on keeping certain mitzvot.

And despite his lack of kippah or tzitzit, he also gets offended if anyone labels him as secular. (The truth is, he'll voluntarily don a kippah for religious ceremonies & it seems he mostly keeps Shabbat—though I don't know how much.)

Anyway, he related a conversation between him & a middle-aged secular Israeli Leftist.

The Leftist tried to convince the young man that showing the Arabs tons of good will ("good" defined as whatever Leftists think Arabs want & would want for themselves) would bring peace to the nation.

As with many Leftists, this Leftist ignored the fact that quite a few Arabs in Israel refuse to vote (not even for Arab or Leftist parties)...or, if they can or would vote, they vote for more right-wing parties.

Some Arabs even vote for the Sephardi or Ashkenazi charedi parties.

So the young man asked the Leftist if he was in favor of same-gender marriage.

"Yes!" said the Leftist.

"Do you believe your daughters have the right to dress and behave however they want? Including all sorts of hanky-panky before marriage?"

"Yes!"

"Do you believe in abortion?"

"Yes!"

"Do you believe in freedom of religion? Like, do you think people have a right to be atheists?"

"Sure!"

"Well, guess what?" said the young man. "The Arabs are against all that. Even the more secular Muslims don't go for any of that."

The Leftist looked surprised.

"They'll never support you," said the young man. "You stand against everything they believe in. They have no respect for secular liberal values. That's why Leftism is doomed in Israel. The Arabs do not want what you want. Because I hold by traditional values, I hold more in common with them and am more respected by them than you—despite my right-wing politics."

At that point, the young man said to me, "A while back, I realized all the conflict with the Arabs is all about religion. It's a religious war. And you cannot fight that war without religion."

Secularism Cannot Win a War of Religion

That was a very astute summary of the situation.

BTW, this same young man gets along well with Arab co-workers, both Christian & Muslim.

And I couldn't helping wondering if that contributes to what keeps him with at least one foot in firmly on the side of Torah.

Since the inception of Am Yisrael, persecution has always been seen as a Heavenly hint for us to cling more deeply to Torah.

Historically, the worst persecutions often follow the worst assimilation.

Most Jews either don't know or ignore the timeless attitude of our Sages toward Jew-hatred.

Most Jews either believe we all need to assimilate MORE & prove ourselves to be good little Jews ("good" as however defined by the current society or era) or many Jews believe in uncompromising physical defense.

Certainly, Jews must behave well in any society as dictated by halachah—but NOT in any way that includes assimilation.

Likewise, we Jews have the right to defend ourselves, whether verbally or physically.

But the overreliance on fighting prowess or eloquent arguments has never been the prime weapon in the battle against Jew-hatred.

Sure, history has shown Am Yisrael to be awesome warriors, orators, and writers.

But even just a glance into Tanach and millennia of Torah scholarship shows having our hearts in the right place ends up being our most powerful protection.

And maybe the example of the young man above isn't the best example because he's not actually so religious.

And his view of the conflict as a religious one is determined more by the Muslim insistence of the religious aspect rather than the Torah view of the religious aspect.

But the point stands: He insists on believing in God & refuses to completely assimilate into secular culture—and a major motivation for his stance stems from his accurate perception of the conflict as based on religious views...and not cultural or political views.

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Look Who's Talking

Fighting the Jewish Inferiority Complex

Making Room for Religion

Wait a Minute...WHO was Throwing Rocks Again?

What Might These Nasty, Sometimes Lethal Hits be Hinting?

The Beautiful Rose Garden that is You

Sometimes Studies Apply to General Society, But Not to the Frum Community

When Can These Studies Help?

Using Social & Psychological Research Wisely

The Covid Vaccine with Gestational Diabetes & a Possibly Pre-Existing Covid Infection

Why Some People Dread Another Bout of Covid

A Beautiful Scene of Mommy & Baby: Young, Idealistic, and Accomplished

The Covid Vaccine while Pregnant (Unhappy Ending)

Say No to Vaccination during Pregnancy

A Most Unpopular Position

Struggling to Stay on the Straight Path

The "Oops!" Side of the Drug Market

What's Wrong with Holding Out for PROVEN Effectiveness & Safety?

The Most Logical Position

Final Thought

Swimming against the Current Makes You a Stronger Swimmer

The Debate Begins...

The End

Secularism Cannot Win a War of Religion

Myrtle Rising

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