Category: Sukkot

The Netivot Shalom on How to Use the Loving & Joyful Power of Simchat Torah & Shemini Atzeret to Support You Throughout the Darkest Times of Your Life All Year Long

20/10/2019

Since coming to Eretz Yisrael, it took me several years to acclimate to the fact that all the final chagim land on one day at the end of Sukkot. Outside of Eretz Yisrael, they're 2 days.

Anyway, according to the wonderful book, Netivot Shalom, these final days of Simchat Torah & Shemini Atzeret comprise the real holiday of love: the Love of the Creator of the Universe for the Jewish people.

(Note: Everything in this post is taken from Netivot Shalom: Simchat Torah, Ma'amar 5, Ne'ilat HaChag.)

Netivot Shalom stresses that Hashem's Love always exists, but during this final autumn chag, Hashem's Love is revealed at its zenith.

This idea taken from the verse in Shir HaShirim, "the King brought me into His Chamber," describes the intimacy we have with Hashem during Sukkot, an intimacy that culminates in these final days.

Shemini Atzeret (a day unto itself outside of Eretz Yisrael, but the same day as Simchat Torah within Eretz Yisrael) is the day that "locks" up these autumn chagim.

We've made our final plea for rain and other blessings, we've received our final kvittel, the final seal on the upcoming year.

But why all the love & celebration?

Wouldn't it be better to end on the note of teshuvah?

Why, Netivot Shalom asks, do we end this time with such joy & love, rather than the teshuvah & atonement of Yom Kippur?

He explains:

Being that the rest of the year, many instances of material & spiritual darkness pass over a Jew, and the strengthening of many gloomy inclinations — the metaphorical aspect of the long nights of Tevet [the winteriest month-MR], which are so dark — therefore, The Holy One Blessed Be He gave a last day to lock up the Regalim (Pilgrimage Holidays), this holy chag Simchat Torah, which is an intimate time between Hashem and the Jewish people and within it is revealed the Ultimate Love of Hashem for the Jewish people.

This is so that a Jew can go out of these holy days with a clear feeling of the Love of the Blessed One, which is eternal in every situation — and this he should take with him for the rest of the year.

In short, we end this period on the cusp of the darkest & gloomiest days of the year.

While winter literally presents us with our darkest & gloomiest physical days, the above hints at the metaphorical interpretation of the spiritually dark & gloomy days that can occur any time throughout the continuing year.

Netivot Shalom adds:

It happens that even the sins & flaws cause "separating curtains" to appear and obstruct so that one cannot see the Love.

Yet because one believes that The Holy One Blessed Be He is always close to him, even when one doesn't feel it and one doesn't see it, then one believes it is now only "hiding."

Oncee a Jew has fully connected to Hashem in joy & love on Simchat Torah/Shemini Atzeret, this connection sustains him or her even through the times of darkness, both spiritual and physical darkness.

When we can't see or feel Hashem, the love & joy of these final days remind us that Hashem hasn't rejected or abandoned us; He is merely "hidden."

Here's the rest:

Behold, this is the power that illuminates for a Jew throughout all the times of darkness of the year.

And a Jew needs to take this joy with him, that the engraving of Simchat Torah will remain within him all year long, enabling him to always feel HaKadosh Baruch Hu with him throughout all the situations of the material reality and the spiritual reality.

Hold on TIGHT!

In Hallel, which we recite on the chagim, we include the verse from Psalm 118:27 "issru chag ba'avotim ad karnot hamizbeyach" — which basically means taking strong cords to tie the offering to the Altar.

Yet there is a much deeper meaning too.

Netivot Shalom stresses that this time is a most auspicious time to purify one's heart & eyes.

This is a time to focus on shemirat einayim and shemirat halev.

The eyes notice the attractions of the world while the heart feels and ponders them.

This combination leads to sin.

But if we purify our eyes & hearts (especially by asking Hashem to help us with this now), then we save ourselves.

The trait of holiness is the most precious to Hashem.

When a Jew makes himself or herself holy, this grants the Jew special protection and blessings in the face of every kind & any kind of threat.

So Netivot Shalom encourages us to "bind the chag with strong cords, in all the opaque and worldly matters."

There is so much spiritual illumination throughout Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, and Simchat Torah & Shemini Atzeret.

Yet when it's all over, many people return to what they were before.

How can we prevent this?

"issru chag ba'avotim — bind the chag with strong cords!"

DON'T stay the same as you were before — take the spiritual illumination with you!

The Netivot Shalom quotes an Admor who said:

Thankful am I before You, O Lord My God and God of my Forefathers, for all the loving-kindness you have performed for me during these holy days that have passed. But it is the nature of a human that the day after the Yom Tov, he completely forgets what was.

Where was he the night before? And what was the movement of his thoughts? What were the requests of his heart at the moment he was dancing with the Torah: "Achat shaalti m'eit Hashem otah avakesh shivti b'veit Hashem kol yamei chayai — One thing I asked from Hashem, this I shall ask: that I shall dwell in the House of Hashem all the days of my life" [Tehillim 27:4].

About this, it's stated: "issru chag ba'avotim" — to bind the chag with strong cords so that it won't slip from between his hands, and so that it will remain engraved from the Yom Tov for all the year.

Everyone faces different situations at this time of year.

There can be ups and downs throughout this day (or especially two days).

But whatever joy and closeness to Hashem we can manage, we need to hold onto it as tight as we can because this is what sustains us throughout the rest of the year.

The above translation is mine and therefore any errors are also mine.

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What's Behind the Final Days of Sukkot?

16/10/2019

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According to the Netivot Shalom (which is based on fundamental sources), every single thing in Creation (including YOU) is renewed on Rosh Hashanah.

This renewal gives us the ability to make deep, long-lasting changes.

You literally become a new creation.

Then Yom Kippur cleanses us of sin.

Yet it can be disheartening as Sukkot comes around and you find that the new you is suddenly disintegrating into some old & unwanted patterns.

This is particularly distressing if you had a particularly transformative Elul-Rosh Hashanah-Yom Kippur and you really felt you'd done the work necessary, including the correct emotional internalization (i.e., you really do regret your sins & set out a plan to improve — a plan you genuinely enjoy).

The thing is, there is a Zohar that the end of Sukkot, Hoshana Rabbah, grants you your last chance. It's your final judgement.

This is the time when Jews wish a Piska Taba (Aramaic) or a Gut Kvittel (Yiddish), both of which mean "a good note." Like a final slip of paper, this can be last evidence to save the person in their trial.

I can't help noticing that, with all the delights of Sukkot, there tend to be some real challenges too.

Yes, it's easy to dismiss it all as the kids being on vacation, everyone's off schedule, hosting guests or being guests, plus lots of chag-Shabbat and meal-planning, and so on with all the derech-hateva stuff.

Some people also need to make do with very cramped or hot sukkahs (which can still be very pretty, but just not as comfortable to sit or sleep in).

And some people's jobs force them to work during chol hamoed while other people face the (hopefully worthwhile) chaos of traveling and outings.

Yet I can't help noticing that Sukkot usually brings me certain situations in which I tend to fail.

Sometimes, I face very odd nisayonot that seem so out of character, especially during Sukkot.

Putting 2 & 2 together, I realized that it must be Hashem giving a last chance to get it right.

(Or at least somewhat right.)

Maybe He's also giving me the opportunity to fully express the new me.

So if you're finding yourself in odd or stressful situations, situations that make you ask, "Why is this happening to me? And why davka NOW?" — this could be the reason.

One final point: While it's best to master a nisayon, we all know that it often doesn't work like that in real life with non-tzaddikim.

Sometimes, we feel like we totally failed.

But really, if we handled it just a bit better than we ever did before, that makes a huge impression in Shamayim.

What looks like an imperceptible step in This World shows up as a massive leap in the Upper Worlds.

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Authentic Torah-True Self-Esteem & Self-Love with Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Ha'azinu (Hint: All that "Self" Stuff? It's Not Just about Yourself.)

10/10/2019

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In Parshat Ha'azinu, we find that in Moshe Rabbeinu's painful last moments — intensified by his inability to enter his beloved Promised Land with the Nation in which he invested so much -- Hashem rebukes Moshe Rabbeinu.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah Parshas Ha'azinu: Recognizing the Greatness of Am Yisrael, Rav Miller points out that Moshe Rabbeinu is so great & his sin so fine-tuned (in Hashem's Eyes) that Chazal struggle to determine exactly what Moshe Rabbeinu's sin was.

Seeing as Moshe Rabbeinu achieved a closeness with Hashem that no other human being has achieved before or since, how could Hashem rebuke him in his final moments?

Yaaay...US!

In Tanach, it's written that Hashem chastises those whom He loves.

By criticizing Moshe Rabbeinu in his last moments, Hashem ensured that Moshe Rabbeinu would come into the Next World COMPLETELY cleansed of even the most minuscule speck of ego.

Remember, Moshe Rabbeinu was one of the humblest people who ever existed.

By criticizing him in his last moments, Hashem ensured the best Afterlife possible for Moshe Rabbeinu.

"The Bnei Yisroel, despite all the criticism, actually because of all the criticism, will remain His people and His servants till the End of Days. And that is so important to understand."

-Rav Avigdor Miller

This is so different than the ideas behind anyone's uppity "replacement theology."

(Not to mention the dire threats & curses Hashem promises to heap upon anyone who harms His People in any way.)

Rav Miller's next words are so important, I can't help copying & pasting the entire text here [all text in square brackets & boldface my own clarification/emphasis]:

We live in a world that doesn’t accept the greatness of the עם ישראל [Am Yisrael/Nation of Israel].

It’s a world of darkness and sheker [falsehood].

And it has an effect on us. Absolutely it does. And therefore, you will have to put effort into internalizing the truth of the greatness of our people.

And no matter how much you speak about it, it won’t be enough.

Now, I know that you all think that it’s a waste of time for me to talk about this.

You all believe it already. You all believe that the עם ישראל is Hashem’s beloved people.

But it’s not enough to simply believe. That’s almost worthless. You have to know and understand the greatness of our nation more than you know anything else in the world.

There is a certain prevalent attitude of knocking the frumeh, the best that our nation has to offer.

We have to be aware of this and realize that there is a certain form of anti-semitism in Jews themselves. When Jews knock the frum community it’s nothing but an echo of the anti-semitism in their own hearts.

You don’t realize how much the environment outside is affecting you.

I know that you don’t want to hear this, but most of you in this room are goyim. Yes, you are covered with a thin layer of Orthodoxy, but under that, if you scratch a little bit of the paint off, you’ll find that you’re thinking like the goyim around you.

It’s affecting you all the time.

The negative comments about frum Jews – whether individuals or different groups – that one hears from Orthodox Jews is simply the infiltration of gentile propaganda into our minds.

Not only gentile influence, but even more insidious is the influence of the non-religious Jews.

The Reformers, the Zionists, and all the Jewish resha’im have nothing but contempt for authentic Torah Judaism, and for those who practice it. We live among the resha’im, we see them, we speak with them, we read their writings, and we therefore think like them.

And therefore, the only way to counter that propaganda is by heaping praises on the Klal Yisroel as often and as much as you can.

Everywhere you go, you can find opportunities to speak the praises of the עם ישראל. And if you can’t find opportunities, then you have to be wise enough and alert enough to make them.

Every day brings you many varied opportunities to propagandize on behalf of Hashem’s people.

(Note: If you are either offended by or can't imagine how Rav Miller could possibly call Zionists "reshaim," then please see A Review of "Guardian of Jerusalem" and What Do the Sephardi Gedolim Say about Tziyonut, the Medinah, and All That? You may still not agree, but it helps to at least understand why someone else thinks the way he does.)

And maybe it's important to acknowledge that yes, people will accuse you of being an apologist.

People will accuse you of having your head buried in the sand or of sporting rose-colored glasses.

People will respond with unpleasant stories of the misdeeds of frum-looking folk (whether true or not).

And from personal experience, it does not matter much if you acknowledge the ugly warts marring the frum community as you extol its virtues and all the wonderful people you've met that you never met or heard of in any other community in the world.

Acknowledging the warts is simply not "honest" enough for some people.

Unless you're trash-talking the frum community, you may be considered a distasteful, stupid, naive, hypocritical, blind apologist.

But you're not.

Unconscious Propaganda-Indoctrinated Hypocrisy

Unfortunately, I was also affected by this at one point, thinking that being negative or focusing on negativity was being "honest."

I see that many, many frum Jews of all different stripes also suffer this mistaken assumption (again, with the very good intention of yearning to display honesty & sensitivity).

It was only after feeling somewhat battered during so many conversations with non-frum Jews (or anti-charedi Orthodox Jews) that I started to wake up.

Whether it was people I'd known and liked my whole life — and felt they'd always liked me too — or getting blindsided after I thought I'd made a completely innocent and inoffensive comment (including all the mental struggle to find just the right words so as not to offend, then the other person getting all offended anyway), or being confronted out of the blue in a way that would NEVER be tolerated by that same person if I (or any other frum person) would dare do that...I started to realize who the real hypocrites were.

(Even though they didn't mean to be hypocrites; it was unintentional hypocrisy resulting from living in a culture in which the views deemed "politically incorrect" are presented in a distorted manner.)

For example, when I visiting my parents in the USA, an old family friend and one of my favorite adults growing up stopped by.

We were all enjoying a friendly conversation that drifted to the state of many "Conservative" (who are actually anti-Torah liberals) Jews in New York (where this man was originally from), and how it differs from "Conservative" Jews in most other parts of America.

Mentally struggling to find just the right word and keep the conversation inoffensive (for them, anyway), I settled on what I felt was a fairly neutral word: "traditional."

So I replied that the "Conservative" Jews in New York seemed more "traditional" than in other areas.

This old family friend smirked, then said, "You mean RIGID!" Then he and some others (not my wonderful parents) chuckled self-indulgently.

I felt punched. And outnumbered.

No, I did NOT mean "RIGID."

"RIGID" is not how I view people who are basically shomer Shabbat and observe more of the authentic halacha. (Halevei these "Conservative" New York Jews would become fully frum!)

And it's odd how he knee-jerk responded to the word "traditional."

"Traditional" really can be viewed positively, negatively, or neutrally. It's interesting that he reacted so defensively to the (accurate) insinuation that the more mitzvah-observant "Conservative" Jews in New York were indeed more, well, traditional.

Turning it around, how do you think this same person would respond had I said that "Conservative" Jews outside of New York tend to be even more compromised and assimilated than their already somewhat compromised and assimilated New York counterparts?

That's actually TRUE, by the way.

"Conservative" Jews ARE compromised and assimilated. Even the ones who don't mean to be and are simply misled by their pompous leadership, even they are still compromised and assimilated.

Do you see what I mean?

Double standard.

(In case you're wondering, I did not respond in any way, nor did I show I was hurt or offended.)

That's just one example.

Where is All That Religious Coercion I Keep Hearing About?

Anyway, I started to realize who really engaged in thought-policing, "religious" (i.e. secular or anti-Torah) coercion, the imposing of their "religious" beliefs on others, and so on.

I couldn't help noticing that the most open-minded people, the people most concerned about the feelings of others (including those with differing opinions) were the more religious Jews -- whether they classified themselves specifically as charedi or whether they were just sincerely frum Jews who strove to uphold every iota of halacha regardless of any label.

As written in previous posts, I've had very positive experiences with the level of openmindedness of the Yerushalmi women I met when I lived in the Geula-Meah Shearim area of Yerushalayim.

I've repeatedly seen how so many frum Jews try to reassure others to feel comfortable around them, try very hard to hold onto their own values without offending others (keeping to the laws of lashon hara, for example, can be very tricky in today's culture of "I-have-a-right-to-express-myself-darn-it-and-if-I-can't-then-there'll-be-heck-to-pay").

Are You Searching for the Key to Self-Love & Self-Esteem? Introducing the REAL Pure Torah-Style Expression of Self-Love & Self-Esteem...

Rav Miller suggests we avoid wasting opportunities to insert Torah positives into conversations at:

weddings
bar mitzvahs
waiting in line
any other social opportunity

Rav Miller suggests we notice (and APPRECIATE) the following:

families with many children
a mother walking with a baby carriage
tsniusly dressed girls
little boys wearing tzitzit & kippahs
fully kosher homes (despite the extra expense and effort involved)
fully kosher mezuzot on every doorpost of every home (not cheap, especially the beautified ones) — and then you need to tend to their upkeep and check them every so often
frummies give 10% (at minimum!) of their earnings to tzedakah (and NOT meaningless art museums, but REAL tzedakah)
all the Jewish parents who send their children to frum schools, despite the expense (especially in America) and sometimes the distance (I met a Chabad family in Long Island who drove their daughters to an excellent frum school that meant driving one hour EACH WAY every day!)

If you live in a frum neighborhood, and especially if you live in Eretz Yisrael, you get to see sukkot everywhere. It's a real joy, especially if you grew up as a Jewish minority in America.

Instead of Halloween decorations hawked everywhere & carols already crooning from the radios and mall loudspeakers in November, you hear frum pop music and see sukkah decorations for sale until all hours. Sukkah boards and lumber stand along sidewalks and stick out of the backs of cars.

During Sukkot, you get to hear everyone singing from their sukkot because you're all outside together.

Baruch Hashem, we have such sounds and sights in our Land once more! May all Jews be redeemed sweetly to Eretz Yisrael and may Hashem erect the fallen Sukkah of David Hamelech.

And again, especially in Eretz Yisrael, the Sukkot weather is usually very pleasant (unless you live in a very humid area or there are thunderstorms & rain once or twice during the week-long holiday).

But heck, even that's part of the fun, everyone needing to escape into the house in the middle of the night. (The children, anyway, have very positive memories of this as fun.)

"A whole nation of people, all types of people, sacrificing and laboring for their ideals, for Torah ideals. And they are a people that are loyal to Hashem. There’s nothing better than the frum community, make no mistake about it."

- Rav Avigdor Miller

Of course, Rav Miller acknowledges that some frum people aren't behaving as they should.

Yes, there is what to criticize.

He says it in the long quote above.

He says it in most divrei Torah.

He says it in his advice for shalom bayit.

But he loves his fellow frummies anyway.

And he emphasizes that there is actually a lot to love!

Having lived in different places and communities throughout my life and having studied anthropology (the study of other cultures) in college, I can definitely attest to the fact that the level of chessed found in the frum community is unparalleled.

It may not always be perfect, but even with its flaws, it's unparalleled.

Recent emergency tzedakah campaigns have demonstrated the profound achvah we feel for each other and our generosity proves our respect for the mitzvah of redeeming captives or aiding the sick.

"There’s no better time than now, as we begin the new year, to make a commitment to yourself. This year is going to be a year of raising the banner of the greatness of our people. This year I’m going to look only at the good of our people – because really there is so much good to see."

- Rav Avigdor Miller

There's an art to finding and focusing on the good points of Am Yisrael, particularly the frum community.

Rav Miller acknowledges that you need to plan for it. You need to make a project out of it.

This is very important as far as sweetening din goes too.

Rav Miller quotes Mesillat Yesharim (Chapter 19) on this:

”אין הקדוש ברוך הוא אוהב אלא למי שאוהב את ישראל — Hashem only loves only those who love the Jewish people”

(Mesillat Yesharim is a sefer with which no one can disagree. If you start quoting the Tanya, the last Lubavitcher Rebbe's sichos, or Rebbe Nachman's Azamra, people think it doesn't apply to them if they aren't in that group. But who is going to dismiss Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto?)

"And therefore, what better way to find favor in the eyes of Hashem, than to praise and love His people. Think of their praises all the time. Speak of their praises all the time. And love them all the time because of their greatness. And the more you do that, the more Hashem loves you. And there is nothing greater in the world than the love of Hashem."

-Rav Avigdor Miller

All credit for all quotes goes to the much appreciated Toras Avigdor.

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Hoshanah Rabbah: Sliding into that Final Verdict

26/9/2018

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The time between Yom Kippur and Hoshanah Rabbah presents the opportunity to get in your last bit of teshuvah to sweeten your verdict for the coming year.

I've found that Hashem throws a couple of trials at people during this time, often a watered-down version of trials they've previously failed.

If you're aware (and I wasn't until the past several years), you can identify a trial during this time period as a repeat of a challenge you've failed before.

So if you can identify it, you can also assume that whatever the trial is, it'll likely end with the end of Sukkot (no promises, though).

Therefore, if your usual response to that particular trial is, for example, an outburst of lashon hara or of raging temper, a drink or a sedative (legal or not), sarcasm, secular music or movies, scarfing down fat-laden carbs, or anything else that indulges subpar behavior, then this is your last chance to get it right.

Or to at least get it less wrong.

I've been going through it myself now and it has been up-and-down.

Sometimes, you don't even know what the better behavior is. How EXACTLY are you supposed to handle it?

Saying, "Thanks, Hashem" or "Gam zu l'tovah -- this too is for the best" is always a good fallback position, even when it feels like that's not enough.

So I've lost some, but also won some.

And that's how it goes.

For tzaddikim, it's different. They've done their work & now they're the Holy Winners.

But for the rest of us, it entails falling to the ground with a thud, then struggle to get back on your feet again.

So as long as you're not letting yourself remain sprawled face-down in the dust, then you're probably doing all right -- even if you feel like you aren't.

May we all merit a sweetening of the final verdict!

Prayer notes stuffed into the cracks of the Kotel

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A Very Nice Sukkah

25/9/2018

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My kids have been building the sukkah by themselves for the past few years now (because my husband both learns full-time & is also the main breadwinner -- way to go, Hubby!).

This year, we replaced last year's plain white cloth (ruined by last year's heavy rains & disintegrated sukkah decorations) with decorated plastic wall covering and we're quite enjoying the pseudo-palace look.

Gosh, look at how nice it all sounds: "My kids built the sukkah all by themselves" -- ooh, sounds like some kind of idyllic barn-raising party, eh?

Well, the truth is that one child in particular is very into it and galvanizes his sibs into helping (which they do partly out of fun and partly out of a sense of duty that the entire task shouldn't fall on just one sibling). Then another child decided to run off with a friend at a critical sukkah-constructing moment, promising to be back in an hour but returned after 2 hours, at which point it was too late to continue. (As is often true with your average happy-go-lucky type, he was shocked that his spontaneous detour into something more exciting caused so much inconvenience.)

After disgruntlement expressed by some and a sincere apology on his part, the sukkah-building continued the next day. The happy-go-lucky child and the galvanizer then eagerly invested time and energy in decorating the sukkah. Then my husband, who has a fondness for interior design, put the final touches on the schach hangings.

And there you have it.

So at their request (particularly the one who invested so much effort in the whole process from humble beginning to glorious end), here is a photo of our sukkah:

One of the best parts about it is that the kids who chose the pictures made sure to choose rabbis representing different groups.

So you have the late Lubavitcher Rebbe with the Baba Sali and with Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv and Rav Ovadia Yosef, and Rav Chaim Shlomo Leibovitch of Ponovezh Yeshivah, plus the Chafetz Chaim (on the other side of the sukkah) and more.

I actually don't think it's so great to show off your family or home too much online or anywhere else, but one kid in particular really wanted me to post his hard work on the blog, so here it is.

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The Power of the Lulav on Sukkot

25/9/2018

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In the Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto's Derech Hashem, he describes the act of shaking the lulav (or "pumping" it, according to Sefardi minhag -- it's all the same in Hebrew: "mina'ane'ah") has the power to inspire fear and dread in the hearts of the haters of Am Yisrael.

(To this, one of my teenagers quipped, "What a good feeling to know that when I was mina'ane'ah the lulav, some ISIS terrorist somewhere started shaking in his boots." Heh-heh. Exactly.)

Combined with hakafot (marching in a circle at shul with the lulav), this has the power to subjugate our enemies to the point that they want to serve Am Yisrael.

(Therefore, I asked my male family members to please engage in some really heartfelt hakafot because I'm overwhelmed by all my responsibilities and could really use a knock on the door from a miraculously reformed Hamas terrorista wishing to help me out.)

Most religious Jews have read Derech Hashem (as have I) and are familiar with this concept, but I'd forgotten about it and enjoyed being reminded.

(Also goes to show the much-lauded importance in the frum world of reviewing the writings of our holy Sages. You get something new each time.)

It's a deceptively simple mitzvah with tremendous beneficial power.

Arba'at Haminim (the Four Species), with the lulav longest in the middle.

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Happy Sukkot!

23/9/2018

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May everyone have a chag sameach and a gut yantiv!

May this Sukkot see revealed protection and joy for Am Yisrael.

(BTW, if you haven't tried it yourself, but always wondered...the bark of an etrog tree really does taste like an etrog minus the juiciness.)

Here's a sukkah gallery:

Painted sukkah with a view of Jerusalem, late 19th century, Austria or South Germany - Musée d'Art et d'Histoire du Judaïsme

By Musée d'art et d'histoire du Judaïsme - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

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Some Post-Yom Kippur, Sukkot & Shemini Atzeret Inspiration

21/9/2018

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By the way, the Pele Yoetz states the following in the chapter called Atonement/Kippur:

"We must conclude that Yom Kippur is efficacious and effects some degree of purity even for people who do not repent -- the special quality of the day itself causes it to happen."

So if you feel you missed out on Yom Kippur this year for whatever or reason, or you feel like you just didn't make it what it could have been, please know that you still benefited and you should definitely keep on going with any teshuvah you can manage because as the Pele Yoetz continues:

"However, it achieves only a lesser degree of purity, and when a person resumes his depravity after Yom Kippur, everything returns to its prior state."

But you don't need to let that happen.

Whatever degree of purity you achieved without even realizing it -- simply by virtue of it being Yom Kippur -- can be utilized now to forge a new path.

Therefore, regardless of how you feel Yom Kippur went, you still benefited.

So don't give up.

Just take that increased degree of purity & forge onward.

In case you missed them, here are some past posts for Sukkot inspiration:

Judaism: The REAL Religion of Love
Special Sukkot Yahrtzeits
Parshat Emor - The Kli Yakar
(Delves into the beautiful symbolism of the 4 Minim, plus other powerful aspects of Sukkot that impact the rest of the year, including other chagim.)

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The Sukkah Stone

20/9/2018

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One of my great-grandfathers became a maskil in Eastern Europe.

But he never lost his passion for Aggadah and used to entertain his grandchildren with stories from Aggadata.

He typed out a memoir of his life, then destroyed it and typed up another memoir. I've read it and possibly his last experience in a sukkah occurred as a young man when he obtained a pork sausage and wanted to eat treifus for the first time in his life -- without getting caught.

So he decided to hide out in the sukkah his father built.

Just as he was about to chomp down on the revolting treif sausage, a rock suddenly fell through the schach and hit him smack on the head.

This rattled him, but he emphatically stated something like: "I in NO WAY believe this was min haShamayim! It was JUST a COINCIDENCE!"

Of course, it's a very unlikely "coincidence."

Where did the rock come from?

Since sukkahs can't be built under anything, where could the rock have fallen from?

And how did it manage to get through all the schach and land right on Alter Zeide's head at the exact moment he opened his mouth to chomp treifus for the first time?

Anyway, he determinedly continued to eat the sausage in a great demonstration of his commitment to the haskalah.

Then he suffered terrible stomach cramps all night long, which was also supposedly a coincidence and solely due to being unused to pork sausage -- or perhaps the poor quality of this particular sausage.

His rejection of Judaism and embrace of haskalah left him with relatively few descendants.

Of those descendants, nearly all are either assimilated Jews or not Jewish at all (except us).

From reading his memoir, I think I would have liked him had I known him.

But he should have listened to the rock.

May we all merit doing true teshuvah from love & not from yissurim.

By Gilabrand - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

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What is the Heart's Nusach?

16/5/2018

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*If you'd like to know what "nusach" means, please see HERE. This post simplified it to 2 basic nusachs, but there are several more.
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At a Tehillim/Psalms gathering for women I attended in the US, the woman leading the Tehillim-recital was a Yemenite-Israeli woman who taught at an Ashkenazi school (that accepted all Jews as long as they were frum) and was married to a yeshivish Askenazi.

This meant that she was competent in both ways of Hebrew pronunciation.

She lead the Tehillim in a pleasant sing-song and most charmingly of all, she was so into the davening that the words flowed out in whatever pronunciation naturally flowed forth.

This means that she said: "Shir Hama'alois" -- with the second "a" pronounced as the classic Yemenite guttural "ayin," followed by "ois" instead of "ot."

It was obvious that she had no idea she was mixing nusachs.

It was delicious. Here was Am Echad in one person.

Communicating in the "Right" Nusach

Now, I realize that sticklers for nusach will bristle about the importance of staying within one nusach for davening.

And that is important for formal davening.

But if you're equally comfortable in both, then when immersing yourself in the uplifting heart of Tehillim, both might flow forth naturally. And really, it's better to just immerse yourself in your love of Hashem than to hold yourself back and get caught up in the technicalities of consistent pronunciation.

For me, sometimes "Shabbos" is easier to say than "Shabbat." Especially if I want to describe something as "Shabbosy." "Shabbaty" just doesn't feel the same.

I still find "tsnius" (modesty) more comfortable to say than "tsnee-OOT" because "tsnius" is how I first learned the word.

But all that depends who I'm talking to because it's important to say things in the way most comfortable for the other person.

Likewise, when speaking with a Chassidish Yerushalmi friend, I try to greet her with "Gut Shabbos," even if she's greeting me with "Shabbat Shalom."

In fact, my Chassidish neighbors always use Sefardi pronunciation when speaking to me and other Sefardi neighbors. They also smoothly turn the conversation from Yiddish to Hebrew if a non-Yiddish-speaker arrives, including when they address each other (which they normally would in Yiddish) in front of the non-Yiddish-speaker.

It's all just a friendly way of respecting one's fellow.

When my children first started attending a Sefardi school, the Moroccan ganenet used to wave to me out the window of the van, calling out, "Gut Shabbos!" as they sped by on Friday afternoons.

She didn't need to do that because despite my Ashkenazi ethnicity and American nationality, I'm not frum from birth (i.e., I didn't grow up with "Gut Shabbos!") and I'm married to a Moroccan who davens in a Sefardi synagogue, and we happily send our children to a Sefardi school and I am quite comfortable with "Shabbat Shalom!" and general Sefardi pronunciation.

But in her experience, Ashkenazi Americans say "Gut Shabbos!" and she wanted me to feel comfortable and accepted.

Very nice!

As always, it's the heart that counts.

Language Foibles from the Heart

When my husband and I are were temporarily rabbi and rebbetzin (or is it rabbanit?), one of our congregants was this lovely 90-year-old lady named Shayna. (She attended our Sefardi synagogue because it was within walking distance and I'm not sure that she was aware of the differences. To her, it was a kosher synagogue with a mechitza and an Orthodox rabbi, and that's all that mattered.)

During Sukkot, she would come up to me to wish me a good year among other good things, and she did so in Yiddish. I only got the gist of her exact words ("a gut yahr!"), but I remember the feeling of warmth and pleasure that soaked through me as she leaned her smiling wizened face toward me with her wrinkled hand on my arm and spoke to me from her heart.

In Shayna's experience, frum people bless each other in Yiddish. So it never occurred to her that she shouldn't speak to me in Yiddish, especially since I was the rebbetzin -- no matter that I came from a secular English-only background (which she didn't know about) and that I was married to a Moroccan-Israeli and that we were standing in a Sefardi synagogue.

And I loved her for it.

Conversely, if you are in Israel and you greet your Sefardi neighbor with "Gut Shabbos", she might get offended. Why? Because then it feels like you're imposing your nusach on her, as if her nusach isn't good enough. Also, there's this implication that Yiddish is the proper language as opposed to Hebrew (or the Jewish-style Arabic common among Moroccans).

And sadly, there are indeed some Ashkenazim with that attitude, which is why your Sefardi neighbor isn't being oversensitive when she gets miffed about your perfectly friendly "Gut Shabbos." (Although she should still give you the benefit of the doubt, that you were just expressing your ahavat Yisrael in the best way you knew how. Or that you just forgot how it might come off to her.)

Then around another Sukkot in Eretz Yisrael, a Chassidish-American acquaintance came up to me and started wishing me all sorts of nice things for the coming year -- in Yiddish.

Ironically, I suddenly felt irritated.

I don't know Yiddish, I fumed silently. Why was she putting me in this uncomfortable position of nodding blankly and not knowing how to respond to her gush of words because I mostly didn't understand? She knows I'm originally from an "out of town" location in America and that I'm firmly in the Sefardi community here in Eretz Yisrael. Why on earth would I understand all the Yiddish coming out of her mouth?

This admittedly insignificant incident left me disgruntled.

But why? What was wrong with me all of the sudden?

Why, when Shayna did EXACTLY the same thing, it imbued me with warm fuzzies, yet when this acquaintance did it, I got all flustered and resentful?

Even stranger, I actually like Yiddish. I enjoy trying to speak it with my friends' children who only know Yiddish.

So why did I all of the sudden have a problem with Yiddish?

I guess it's because it's the heart that counts.

Shayna is brimming with goodness, so when she talks to you in the language of her choice, then all her goodness just gushes forth into you. And Shayna was speaking to me in Yiddish because she thought that was the best way to convey her good wishes; she had no idea I didn't understand. (Ditto with the Sefardi ganenet above.)

Yet this acquaintance tended to be firmly entrenched in her own world and in her way of doing things. She and her husband were used to being leaders of their community and expressing good wishes in Yiddish was the RIGHT way to do things, gosh darn it, whether the listener understood and whether the listener was comfortable or not.

In other words, she wasn't reaching out to me, she was asserting herself over me (and vicariously, over a whole large group of fellow Jews).

Was this intentional? Likely not. Some people are just very self-absorbed and so used to holding on to their own thing (which, if you've lived frum in America, you need to do to resist the pull of secular American culture), that they don't realize when they've overstepped.

The Language of the Heart

So this is what I've learned:

Be like Shayna.
Be like my son's Sefardi ganenet.
Be like my wonderful Chassidish neighbors.
Be like the Yemenite Tehillim leader.

Reach out from the heart and don't overreach.

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Hold on TIGHT!

Yaaay...US!

"The Bnei Yisroel, despite all the criticism, actually because of all the criticism, will remain His people and His servants till the End of Days. And that is so important to understand."-Rav Avigdor Miller

Unconscious Propaganda-Indoctrinated Hypocrisy

Where is All That Religious Coercion I Keep Hearing About?

Are You Searching for the Key to Self-Love & Self-Esteem? Introducing the REAL Pure Torah-Style Expression of Self-Love & Self-Esteem...

"A whole nation of people, all types of people, sacrificing and laboring for their ideals, for Torah ideals. And they are a people that are loyal to Hashem. There’s nothing better than the frum community, make no mistake about it."​- Rav Avigdor Miller

Communicating in the "Right" Nusach

Language Foibles from the Heart

The Language of the Heart

Myrtle Rising

Categories

Jewish Blogs

Jewish Current Events

Jewish Health

Archives

Copyright Notice

"The Bnei Yisroel, despite all the criticism, actually because of all the criticism, will remain His people and His servants till the End of Days. And that is so important to understand."

-Rav Avigdor Miller

"A whole nation of people, all types of people, sacrificing and laboring for their ideals, for Torah ideals. And they are a people that are loyal to Hashem. There’s nothing better than the frum community, make no mistake about it."

- Rav Avigdor Miller