In Rav Itamar Schwartz's 5778/2018 newsletter for the 3 weeks, he writes that the first step in ahavat Yisrael is sur m'ra - turn from evil.

He recalls Mishna Avot's famous statement “What is hated to you, do not to do
your friend.”

Rav Schwartz emphasizes the importance of refraining from any evil toward another Jew, or being inconsiderate toward a fellow Jew.

Only then can you move on to the next step: "V'ahavta l're'echa kamocha - You shall love to you fellow like yourself."

http://www.bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.on.the.Three.Weeks.5778.pdf
(Scroll down to the teal banner inscribed with AHAVAS YISRAEL)

And it got me thinking how wise Judaism is.

Sur m'ra really is the first step.

For example, many people eat kosher food, but they also eat non-kosher food. Some keep kosher at home and abandon kashrut at restaurants.

Are they really keeping kosher?

No. They're ingesting treif food. Even those fool themselves into being makpid to eat only dairy or pareve at non-kosher restaurants still eat food that was cooked right alongside with pepperoni or bacon.

If they want to truly keep kosher, they need to "sur" from all the treif stuff.

Likewise, we all know people who eat the Leil Shabbat seuda, complete with Kiddush and Hamotzi. They light Shabbat candles and may even go to services Shabbat morning.

But they drive. They go out for ice cream. They flick light switches and watch TV. They are totally mechalel Shabbat.

Does their heartfelt Kiddush Friday night mean they are shomer Shabbat? Definitely not. They are mechalel Shabbat.

Same thing with women who cover their hair and wear miniskirts. Is that tsanuah? Yeah, her head is tsanuah, but the rest of her is not.

So sur m'ra really is more than the first step in a mitzvah; it often defines the mitzvah.

And just to be clear: I'm not saying that covering your hair while wearing un-tsnius clothing is meaningless, nor am I saying that keeping positive Shabbat commandments while running roughshod over the prohibitions is meaningless.

It's not.

(Please see If Someone is Eating a Treif Salami, Should He Make a Bracha? for more on that topic.)

But you cannot say that the person is shomer Shabbat, keeping kosher, or overall tsanuah, or whatever, until they start obeying the sur m'ra.

Anyway, sur m'ra is a good aspect to focus on at this time of the 3 Weeks.

Ahavat Yisrael? One step at a time.

​First...refrain. Hold back. 

Refrain from hurting people.

Refrain from inconsiderate behavior.

Refrain. Resist. Sur m'ra.

We've just started Tammuz, and it's a pretty heavy month.

​It's followed by Av, which is even heavier (at least the first 10 days, anyway).

If you'd like some help in understanding & dealing with Tammuz (and Av!), you can check out the following posts:

• How to Fight the "Crabby" Mazal of Tammuz
• How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz and Savage Av
• What's the Message of the Erev Rav for Us on 17 Tammuz?
• Dealing with the Mazal of Tammuz & Av
• The Secret Power of Tammuz

Rabbi Alon Anava has got a great shiur on the power of the month of Tammuz for transformation, and how using that power correctly can extend throughout the rest of the year.

This shiur really helped me because I always find this time of year depressing and scary.

And yes, many depressing and scary things happened between yesterday, the 17th of Tammuz and 3 weeks from now on the 9th of Av.

But judging events and people favorably can change everything.

In this time period, due to the Crab mazal influencing things to move backwards and the Lion mazal of Av providing a more savage "tear it apart" inclination (both according to the Kli Yakar), we can find ourselves becoming harsher with our hearts and minds.

​And this is behind the Destruction of the Beit Hamikdash.

However, seeing the good in people and events, and judging favorably, can utilize the power of Tammuz for greatness.

(This does not mean that we whitewash truly bad acts or truly bad people, or allow them to hurt others, but that we see the good in things and people in addition to the bad, we find some kind of merit or something to be grateful for.)

Rabbi Anava speaks about how the disease is the same word as the Latin and Hebrew name of the month: Cancer/Sartan, and what the root of this disease is and more about the word Sartan and how it relates to the word seret, which is Hebrew for movie.

Being grateful for everything, even if you don't know why, and striving to find some chip of diamond in the mountain of sludge are the keys to utilizing the power of Tammuz.

Please access the audio & video of the shiur here:
The Secrets of Kabbalah behind the Month of Tammuz

The first tragic event to occur on the 17th of Tammuz was Moshe Rabbeinu breaking the first set of Tablets when he saw the Jewish Nation worshiping the Golden Calf.

(For a synopsis of the tragedy, please see What was the Golden Calf?)

How did the Jewish people go from the Divinely gifted exalted spiritual level necessary to receive the Torah in all its glory to worshiping an idol only 40 days later?

Moshe Rabbeinu promised to be up on the mountain with Hashem for 40 days, after which he would return. The people miscalculated, so when Moshe Rabbeinu didn't come back on the 16th of Tammuz, they got worried.

Or did they?

It was actually the Erev Rav who got worried...but not for the reasons you might think.

Well aware that Hashem objected to their presence and that it was Moshe Rabbeinu who allowed them to join along, the Erev Rav feared that without Moshe Rabbeinu, they'd be kicked out by Hashem (as if Hashem couldn't just kick them out if He chose to).

This is why the Erev Rav felt they needed to create a new leader, and to do it on the double.

So they sounded an alarm of sorts that affected the emuna of the Jews.

In addition, the satan (a prosecuting angel) adjusted nature to provide a gloomy atmosphere. And rather than taking an emuna-driven "Let's wait and see" approach of yishuv hadaat, the true Jews of Yisrael got sucked into the Erev Rav fear.

Important Note:

• The Jews NEVER had anything to fear.
• They were beloved to Hashem.
• So even if something had happened to Moshe Rabbeinu, Hashem would still take care of Yisrael as a mother cares for her newborn baby.
• It was the Erev Rav who stood to lose out if Moshe Rabbeinu didn't return.
• The Jews would have been fine all along NO MATTER WHAT.

In other words, the Jews panicked for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
​
And that was their first mistake.

Before he left, Moshe Rabbeinu told the Elders:
"Wait for us here until we return to you, and here Aharon and Chur are with you; whoever has a case, let him go to them."

So at this point, the Jews consulted with Chur, the son of Miriam Haneviah and Kalev ben Yafuneh.

Apparently, Chur told them in no uncertain terms that they didn't need any new leader and were forbidden from doing so.

So they killed him.

Okay, let's look at this for a minute.

Back then, the Erev Rav was obvious. They even looked different to the point that the Moavites could differentiate between Erev Rav and Yisrael.

​(Please see the Kli Yakar on Parshat Balak for more about that.)

Also, these Erev Rav people were NOT descended from the Avot and Imahot. And the Jews KNEW this.

So why did they listen to the Erev Rav over their own leader (appointed by Moshe Rabbeinu himself), a leader who had proven himself time and again?

(See here for a brief and impressive bio of Chur.)

Picture the scene for a moment:

• You've got these clearly non-Jewish-looking people talking to you in either Egyptian-accented Hebrew or in Egyptian itself,
• people whom you know aren't really a part of you
• and whom you know aren't even wanted by Hashem

...and you decide to listen to them over the daat Torah approved by the greatest prophet who has ever and would ever live?

What on Earth were the Jews thinking?

(For more details please see the Kli Yakar on Parshat Ki Tisa and scroll down past the chelbana.)

Okay, remember:

This whole thing started out as a quest to create a leader.

Not an idol and not a cult, but simply a new leader.

And the Erev Rav probably didn't seem so bad.

They probably just seemed pro-active. Take charge!-types. Self-empowering.

Maybe they even seemed caring and inspirational.

Maybe they conducted promotional self-empowerment seminars.

Yet the Erev Rav, being steeped in Egyptian ways, wanted to be led by the stars, which is why a calf representing the Taurus constellation popped out.

In fact, they assumed that Moshe Rabbeinu's power derived from some kind of star-image, and not from his own inner work and holiness.

Of course, the Jewish women resisted handing over the jewelry for the dastardly deed, but the men insisted and the calf was made.

Once the idol was created, the Jews should have immediately realized what they were getting into.

After all, bovine-shaped idols were all the rage in that part of the world for millennia. It's sort of like if an "Ephraimite" was leading everyone to what he claimed was a Chanukah party and then suddenly whipped out a cross right before the festivities started.

I mean, you know the guy is not Torah-true, and now he's waving this big cross around at the party. And you know that's not just some random giant "T" because Christians have been using that symbol for the past 2000 years.

But what ensued next was a free-for-all that included debauchery, drugs and alcohol, adultery, and blasphemy.

At this point, viewing the scene from above, could you differentiate between the Erev Rav and the Bnei Yisrael?

Not really; they were all acting the same.

Perhaps if you looked carefully, you might notice that only certain people are orchestrating the whole event, and that those people look different than the participants.

​But overall, you would not be able to specify who was who according to behavior.

And upon seeing this, Moshe Rabbeinu smashed the Tablets.

And this is one of the reasons we mourn today.

So what do we learn from this?

• The Erev Rav think only about themselves, which also means they are obsessed with aligning themselves to whoever seems most powerful and they are obsessed with materialism.

• For their own self-interests, they will do whatever they can to get an authentic Yisrael WHO HAS NO REASON TO FEAR all riled up with anxiety and fear over an outcome that affects the Erev Rav ONLY.

• Erev Rav motivations are very different than Jewish motivations, although Erev Rav will speak to Jews in a "Jewish" language, if you get my drift.

​

• This panic discourages authentic Jews from listening to tested-and-true daat Torah.

There are other lessons, but that's all I can think of for now.

So what can we do about it? 

​Here are some question that might have popped up in your mind:

• Are you Erev Rav?
• Are you a Yisrael caught up in an Erev Rav fiesta?
• Are you a Yisrael with Erev Rav sparks pricking about your holy Jewish soul?

You can't really know.

But what you CAN do is take a step back from it all, especially at the following times:

• Are you feeling panicked?

 

• Are you feeling desperate?

 

• Are you feeling like "Move, move, move!" or "Do, do, do!"?

 

• Are you willing to latch on to anyone or anything who seems to promise security and leadership?

 

• Are you listening to the silver-tongued voices of people who obviously aren't the real deal while dismissing authentic daat Torah? (And I mean REAL daat Torah; not every Orthodox rabbi is daat Torah!)

 

• Are you blindly assuming the other cares about the same things you do, when much of what they say or do actually points to a completely different motive?

 

• Do you want to contemplate issues and situations before acting, but you have people around you (or even a voice within yourself), pressuring you to just jump into the frenzy without another thought?

 

• When you want to discuss real issues of emunah and serving Hashem and genuine Torah observance, are you ever waved off, rejected, mocked, or even attacked? (You might even do this to yourself.)

 

• Are you tempted to follow people who couldn't possibly have the answers because they don't possess your Jewish tradition and yichus?

​

• Do you see people insisting that you follow them when you clearly see they're holding up a well-known and forbidden idol...but you're caught up in your fear and peer pressure, and anyway, they've got such convincing reasons for what they're doing?

EREV RAV ALERT!

​The above is the effect of Erev Rav on a Yisrael.

And it's a sign to take a step back from it all and inquire of Hashem.

Our times are different and the Erev Rav no longer look they way they once did.

Remember, at the time they were actually worshiping the Golden Calf, the Erev Rav and Bnei Yisrael were behaving exactly the same.

A Reform rabbi holding up a cross at a Chanukah party can still possess a soul of Yisrael.

They only real way to deal with it is via yishuv hadaat - taking a step back and asking:

• "What's really going on here?"
• "Is this the Torah way? If so, where is it written?"
• "Where is Hashem in all this?"
• "What does He think?"
• "What does He want?"
• "Okay, Hashem...tell me what to do!"

Why couldn't Bnei Yisrael have told the Erev Rav, "Wait a minute, Hashem's in charge. Let's give it another day and see"?

Why couldn't they have listened to Chur?

And even at the point that the calf appeared, could they not have said, "Whoa! Wait just one second here! Hmm...I'm going to step out and do some hitbodedut before I do anything else. At least, I can say a chapter of Tehillim!"

They could have taken a step away from everyone and engaged in conversation with Hashem at any point during the ride.

Even after they'd killed Chur, they still could've stopped the madness. They still could have turned to Hashem.

And THAT would've saved them.

So don't give up.

Even if you find yourself swept up in a crowd led by Erev Rav after your real leader has been murdered and your other true leader has gone undercover...and even when you're faced with a clear symbol of everything that's wrong with the world and you're all hyped up to worship it with the basest human behaviors...

STEP BACK. And talk to Hashem.

It's not too late. Even if the Erev Rav stuff seems to be a part of you, don't give up.

Just turn to Hashem and don't repeat the mistake of the first Seventeenth of Tammuz.

We mourn it in order to rectify it.

​And we can!

Over the years, I've learned to dread Tammuz and Av.

But I'm trying to view them as the opportunities they actually are, and not as the obstacles and frustration they end up feeling like.

A while back, I wrote a post describing my experiences in Tammuz and explaining the astrological effects based on the Kli Yakar:
How to Fight the Crabby Mazal of Tammuz

Later, the Kli Yakar mentions the effect of Av: the Lion.

Lions tend to savage their prey, which is why hatred and other person-to-person sins came to a head with the Destructions of both Temples on the 9th of Av.

And while we don't justify or excuse bad behavior, we can at least find a merit for people if they start acting wonky in Tammuz and Av:
"Oh, they're not innately awful. It's just that they're having a hard time warding off the influence of Tammuz and Av."

And even though the Gemara tells us that astrological effects do not decide a Jew's destiny, the effects are clearly there.

So what's going on?

And what are we supposed to do?

(Hint: The answer to this particular question is partly answered in the link above.)

The mazal of Tammuz influences a person to start moving backwards or sideways, just like a crab.

This means that in Tammuz, you need to push yourself harder just to maintain equilibrium.


Picture yourself strolling down a sunlit path with a gentle breeze on your back.

Now picture yourself marching down an overcast path with hurricane-force winds at your face.

You need to brace yourself and push a lot harder to keep going forward, right?

That's Tammuz.

The fun part of it is that when the hurricane-force winds suddenly stop in Elul, all your pushback ends up flinging your forward, spiritually speaking, into the loving arms of Elul.

Elul stands for "Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li - I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine."

​(The acronym is clearer in Hebrew: אלול - אני לדודי ודודי לי )

Anyway, the same idea holds true for Av.

As the Kli Yakar explains in Parshat Devarim:

If in Av you feel like ripping someone apart, give yourself the benefit of the doubt and recognize that it's likely the influence of Av working on you (and not that you are an Godless raging bull of a person) and then do something to counteract those lion-esque tendencies:

• Talk to Hashem about your feelings
• Search for a good point in that person and mention it to Hashem
• Pray for that person to do teshuvah from love
• Pray for yourself
• Actively do chessed
• Go out of your way to help others (doesn't matter how small the help is; even letting a car in front of you or not careening toward that ideal parking spot while cursing under your breath when you see another car going for the same spot makes a huge difference, spiritually speaking)
• Go out of your way to speak pleasantly or at least courteously in even the most trying situations.
• Thank God for the situation, knowing that it's from Him and somehow good.
• Whatever else you can think of

By the time Av ends and Elul begins, you'll automatically be in a higher place than you would be otherwise.

Elul is a time that is very welcoming toward and conducive for teshuvah and self-improvement, and sweetening judgements and decrees.

So the very frustrations and challenges of Tammuz and Av are actually the perfect preparation for Elul.

Wishing us all a lot of bracha (blessing) and hatzlacha (success)!

One incident (trying prevent a potential accident as I intervened with a fairly chutzpadik kid to stop him from throwing passionfruits at passing buses) is the type of interaction hasn't happened to me for years.

​The other (a car zooming by me anyway as I stood in the middle of the street on a crosswalk and clearly motioning them to STOP so that I could help 3 little boys waiting to cross the street) has NEVER happened to me before.
​
(It's much more common to witness drivers who see kids waiting to cross often stop of their own accord. Buses here sometimes even swing around to block both lanes of traffic until the kids are safely across the street.)
 
And these 2 incidents happened within 15 minutes of each other.
 
What is going on?
 
How can that kid be such a knucklehead?

And how can two middle-aged ladies in sheitels be so callous?
 
And why was I responding like an atheist?

(By "atheist," I mean, as far as the intensity and duration of my inner rage - as if the events happened on their own without Hashem intending them to happen that way. I certainly don't regret telling the kid to stop nor do I regret my rebuking hand gestures and facial expression to the ladies as they sped by - even if maybe the sun was in their eyes or their brakes weren't working or whatever.)
 
Hours later, I remembered the Kli Yakar on Parshat Devarim 1:1.
 
Astrologically speaking, Tammuz is "the month whose sign is Sartan [the Crab] in that his nature is to go backwards. And so they [the Jews] went backwards...."
 
Historically, Jews end up committing some pretty big sins in Tammuz, like the Sin of the Golden Calf.
 
So I'm not really turning into a crazed avenger and those people aren't necessarily bad seed, per se; we're all just regressing under Tammuz's "crabby" mazal. (Ha!)
 
Yet the Gemara tells us Ein mazal l'Yisrael: Astrological forces cannot overpower a Jew.
 
Therefore, in Parshat Bo, the Kli Yakar reassures us that for those who:

• fear Hashem
• think about His Name
• and keep the mitzvot,

...then the constellations will be orchestrated by Hashem to channel the bad stuff in a way that prevents harm toward those of us who strive to keep the above 3 conditions.
 
And that is the way to keep going straight ahead despite the disorienting forces of this month's mazal.