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Stories of Good Jews: How to Cultivate Authentic Honesty according to the Torah & Utilize the Lion Aspect of Yehudah

20/7/2021

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​One of the fondest memories of my youthful Shabbats in Tzfat consisted of going up the unending staircase (Tzfat is built on a small mountain) and hearing Lecha Dodi sung in a variety of different melodies, depending on what shul I happened pass at that moment.
 
This modern-day coming together of different groups and their customs always creates the feeling of us as different links (or pearls!) within the same precious necklace.

​If one is missing, the whole strand falls apart.
 
And I’m far from being the only one who feels this way.

Enjoying Our Differences

Many, many frum Jews enjoy an opportunity to connect with other frum Jews from a different ethnicities and nationalities.

In fact, I lived near a Yerushalmi chassidish neighbor who loves hanging out with Sephardi neighbors. She also started inviting Russian baalei teshuvah couples for meals.

​She’s very makpid with her own children that they should never denigrate another group. I can tell that it’s all fun for her (and because I’m Sefardi by marriage and American by birth—and therefore another part of the colorful prism of frum Jewry in her eyes—thus I also end up as part of her fun...which greatly benefits me too because she is a wonderful person).
 
After she came back from a trip to different holy graves of Rebbes in Eastern Europe, she enthused about how a Breslov woman on the bus inspired her with a steady stream of Breslov thought throughout the ride to Uman.

​“I said Tikkun Haklali at the grave of Rebbe Nachman!” she bubbled. “And I saw 
orot (lights/spiritual illumination)—yes, really!”
 
And she is part of a chassidus reputed to oppose Breslov (although Rav Levi Yitchak Bender insisted this wasn’t true, as stated by the former Rebbe of that chassidus himself, as recalled by Rav Bender in Words of Faith).

A Minyan in Every Flavor

A Litvish charedi kollel guy from America spent his first month of Shabboses in Eretz Yisrael davening in a different shul for each tefillah.

He experienced different kinds of chassidus and different kinds of Sefardi...and he thoroughly enjoyed himself.

​If you saw him, you’d think he is a very quiet serious-but-nice conventional Litvak.

And he is!

But that doesn’t contradict his healthy appreciation for other frum groups.

Spending Shabbat in a Totally Different Hashkafah

​My son, who learns in a standard Sefardi charedi yeshivah, spent Shabbat in Kiryat Arba-Chevron/Hebron and enjoyed every minute of the warm, vibrant Judaism of his Kahanist hosts.

Everyone treated him with such warmth and no one agonized over why he was in yeshivah as opposed to the army (as sometimes happens outside the charedi community).

He experienced a lot of warmth, acceptance, and good old-fashioned ahavat Yisrael combined with tremendous ahavat Torah—the divrei Torah never stopping flowing from the host and his family.

One family there in particular adores the mitzvah of hosting guests (which quite suits the place, being so near Avraham Avinu, who epitomizes the hosting of guests).
 
My son doesn’t want to join that community; he’s happy where he is.

But he received tremendous enjoyment and inspiration from frum Jews who subscribe to a different hashkafah.

Getting to Know the Hilltop Youth Never Shown by the Media

This same son also spent a Shabbat in Bat Ayin among the much maligned Hilltop Youth, whom every branch of media portrays as drunk, stoned, wayward bums who possess a fanatical Zionist streak.

​And some of them are like that.

But many are not.

Many observe things others (sometimes including their own parents & community leaders) do not wish to see.

Many are thinkers & idealists.

My son ended up in Bat Ayin for Shabbat & he stayed with some Bat Ayin boys in an ancient ruin they'd made habitable. (The boys' families lived in regular homes nearby.)

These boys both knew & cared about all the Shabbat halachot for living in an ancient stone ruin with minimal electricity, including keeping the food warm over Shabbat, etc.

​One of the boys' fathers stopped by before Shabbat to make sure their electric wiring remained in good condition.

It was a very cool experience—the experience of living in ancient Judea as our ancestors did in the same kind of structure constructed of local stones.

Also, my son is obviously a charedi yeshivah bachur and felt total acceptance from these non-charedi-yet-religious Bat Ayin residents because Bat Ayin residents have a solid sense of achdut (unity) with their fellow Jews.

You keep Shabbat & learn Torah? Hey, you're one of us!

That's their attitude.

Like my son, his youthful hosts never served in the IDF—but for completely different reasons.

My son received an exemption based on his yeshivah attendance.

(Just to prevent confusion between my older sons, who are periodically mentioned in this blog: Son #1 served in the IDF; Son #2 happily remains firmly in the charedi yeshivah world.) 

The IDF refused to let these Bat Ayin boys serve, stating the boys held views that were too far right.

(It stunned me the first few times I heard of the IDF rejecting eligible young men because of views deemed too far to the right. But it's really not uncommon for the IDF to do that. Chew that idea over for a minute...)

Anyway, these boys displayed wonderful character, commitment to Jewish Law, and detachment from materialism.

Here's how I see them:

They crave authentic Judaism. And their living in the original housing & lifestyle of the Judean Hills of Eretz Yisrael, along with their open hospitality, is all part of their desire for authenticity.

With their good middot & knowledgeable commitment to Jewish Law, they clearly are not as portrayed in the media.

Our Satmar Brothers

When I asked my explorer-son about patterns he noticed throughout his hitchhiking travels, he expressed positive experiences with Jews from all different groups, then stated, "But the Satmarers are the friendliest & warmest, hands down. Each and every time I run into a Satmarer, he always acts like I'm his brother."  

Satmar chassidim are another much-maligned group.

My son meets them as they drive around the country here on their business trips.

(Even though a Satmar community exists within Eretz Yisrael, my son always runs into only the American Satmarers here on business.)

My son and his friends clearly look like Sefardi yeshivah bachurs—a very different group than Satmar chassidim.

Yet the Satmar chassidim my son encounters never seem to feel my son is different than them.

Intrigued by their very different outlooks & customs regarding the political situation in Eretz Yisrael, my son nicely asked the Satmar driver about it all as they rode in his car.

In a friendly & casual manner, the Satmarer acknowledged the opposite viewpoint held by nearly everyone else, then briefly explained the Satmar view in the same unimposing & friendly manner.

Another time, my son & his friends spotted a Satmar chassid at a gas station in northern Israel.

They politely inquired whether they could join him. His eyes widened in pleasant surprise as he said, "Of course! If there's room in my car, then why not?"

It's hard to convey the exact tone & facial expression of the Satmarer, but my son described it as if the Satmarer was surprised they felt the need to even ask.

Meaning, it was as if he didn't understand why, upon seeing room in the car, they didn't automatically pile in as he finished paying for the gas.

It's just as if you would have no problem finding your brother—not just any brother, but the brother you REALLY like—suddenly in your car.

You'd be pleasantly surprised, right?

So that's the vibe this Satmar chassid gave off to them.

Tongue-in-Cheek Note: Having exemplified all this Satmar generosity & brotherhood, it should be noted: If you see a Satmarer, you still shouldn't just get into his car without permission. Even if he's as generous-hearted & welcoming as this Satmarer, it could still be he needs to get somewhere urgently, or pick up other people. So you should still ask.

Seeing the Full Picture according to Torah

Yes, I realize dysfunctional frum people also exist.

We also have problems in our communities.

But these are discussed obsessively (and a bit hopelessly)—with great relish & self-righteousness by the secular & non-Jewish media (including blogs), and with a great deal of recrimination & self-flagellation by the frum media/blogs.

The reason why I often focus on good people doing good isn't because my brains consist of half-baked noodle kugel, but rather because all my reading of authentic Torah sources indicate this as the correct & healthiest way to relate to the world.

While the non-Jewish world only considers you honest if you mention the negative aspects among the positive, the study of our Sagely commentaries on Tanach opened my eyes to the fact that Judaism only considers your portrayal honest if you mention the positive among the negative.

You see an aspect of this in how the Great Sanhedrin could only sentence a person to execution as long as the guilty verdict was NOT unanimous.

Meaning, if not one Sage on the Great Sanhedrin could not see a way in which the accused was innocent—in other words, finding some kind of merit—then they assumed they lacked the full story.

Emulating the Lion of Yehudah

Also, dwelling solely on the passive sur m'ra (turn from evil) prevents one from ever achieving the proactive aseh tov (do good).

​As Rav Itamar Schwartz explained in his talk for the month of Av, there are 2 types of "lion."

One is the lion of Dan (who also represents the serpent).

If you only focus on the sur m'ra, on repressing your yetzer hara, you will certainly be a very good person, but you will not be able to rise from the dust (just like a serpent cannot raise itself from the dust).

We need to be proactively good — aseh tov! — and leap from the place in which we could remain stuck—like the lion of Yehudah.

The lion of Dan excels in guarding the boundaries & fences.

(This relates to gevurah—the power of restraint.)

The lion of Yehudah excels in leaping over the walls to proactively act before being acted upon.

(This represents the aspect of malchut—royalty; a true king is incredibly powerful. Regarding authentically Jewish malchut, this invincibility comes from Hashem, Who is Truly All-Powerful. It's the power to do good & come out victorious.)

The lion of Yehudah is Mashiach.

In part, this means we need to look at the good in others.

We need to see the people who ARE investing in goodness, who exhibit goodness—and not just the people who make a mess out of their lives and the lives of others.

While we needn't whitewash or deny the negative, we need to look for positive role models at the same time and follow their lead.

Sure, we can look only at the dysfunctional people.

Yet is it fair to ignore all the people who stretch themselves to do good?

Is it fair to ignore the people who DO treat others with compassion?

Is it "honest" to ignore all the people who behave with compassion & respect?

For example, there's a charedi city in Eretz Yisrael where a Lubavitcher chassid prepares a Kiddush table laden with refreshments for all the wayward youth hanging out on the streets (and often making trouble).

He feeds them & engages them.

He does this every Friday night.

Should we close our eyes to this religious Jew who invests so much time, caring, and expense in his fellow Jews?

A lot of charedim treat these kids compassionately.

Is it honest to completely ignore all these good-hearted people, pretending they don't exist?

That's just one example.

Likewise, we also need to view the positive qualities in ourselves.

We need to know that underneath everything, Hashem has gifted each & every one of us with a beautiful, pure neshamah that not only yearns to do good, but knows & loves what is good.

And we need to know that others possess this too.

We need to seek it in both ourselves & others.

It's true that some apparent Jews lack this.

Some contain primarily Erev Rav souls.

And some aren't even Jewish, but their actual status got lost over time (or was hidden or confused—maybe not even so long ago).

But before we dismiss people has lacking an authentic Yisrael neshamah, we should search for their innate holiness & goodness (and our own innate holiness & goodness!) through eyes of real honesty & compassion—eyes that take in the whole picture, and not just part of it.

For the full discussion of the lion aspects of both Dan & Yehudah, plus how we should express these aspects, please see:
https://bilvavi.net/english/rosh-chodesh-mazal-008-av-lion

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Links to Help You Make the Best of the Hebrew Month of Tammuz

10/6/2021

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Here's a link to the list of articles for the Hebrew month of Tammuz by Rav Itamar Schwartz & published by Bilvavi:
https://bilvavi.net/sugya/chodesh.tamuz

Tammuz corresponds to the power of sight (this includes imagination).

It also corresponds to the Tribe of Reuven (or, according to the Vilna Gaon, the Tribe of Naftali). 

The astrological mazal of Tammuz is Crab/Sartan/Cancer.

For other posts on Tammuz, please see:
links-to-help-deal-with-the-mazalastrological-influence-of-tammuz-av.html
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Links to Help Deal with the Mazal/Astrological Influence of Tammuz & Av

13/7/2020

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We're partway through Tammuz, and it's a pretty heavy month.

​It's followed by Av, which is even heavier (at least the first 10 days, anyway).

Unlike astrologers, Judaism knows that the astrological influences are not the deciding factors in our lives.

Hashem created the system & He can easily override it.

Just like Hashem removed 2 stars from the Kimah [
כִּימָה] (Pleiades) constellation & caused it to rise during the day to enable the Mabul/Flood to happen (Rosh Hashanah 11b), He can rearrange any planetary bodies or orbits necessary to bring about the desired result. 

So the astrological influences do not control us.

But just like a change in barometric pressure can cause headaches or a lack of sunlight can cause depression, the position of astronomical bodies also affect us, even as "there is no mazal in Yisrael" — we aren't ruled by the constellations.

If you'd like some help in understanding & dealing with Tammuz (and Av!), you can check out the following posts:

  • How to Fight the "Crabby" Mazal of Tammuz
  • How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz and Savage Av
  • What's the Message of the Erev Rav for Us on 17 Tammuz?
  • Dealing with the Mazal of Tammuz & Av
  • The Secret Power of Tammuz
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The First Step in Ahavat Yisrael: Resist!

23/7/2019

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In Rav Itamar Schwartz's 5778/2018 newsletter for the 3 weeks, he writes that the first step in ahavat Yisrael is sur m'ra - turn from evil.

He recalls Mishna Avot's famous statement “What is hated to you, do not to do
your friend.”

Rav Schwartz emphasizes the importance of refraining from any evil toward another Jew, or being inconsiderate toward a fellow Jew.

Only then can you move on to the next step: "V'ahavta l're'echa kamocha - You shall love to you fellow like yourself."

http://www.bilvavi.net/files/Bilvavi.on.the.Three.Weeks.5778.pdf
(Scroll down to the teal banner inscribed with AHAVAS YISRAEL)

We're Defined by What We DON'T Do

And it got me thinking how wise Judaism is.

Sur m'ra really is the first step.

For example, many people eat kosher food, but they also eat non-kosher food. Some keep kosher at home and abandon kashrut at restaurants.

Are they really keeping kosher?

No. They're ingesting treif food. Even those fool themselves into being makpid to eat only dairy or pareve at non-kosher restaurants still eat food that was cooked right alongside with pepperoni or bacon.

If they want to truly keep kosher, they need to "sur" from all the treif stuff.

Likewise, we all know people who eat the Leil Shabbat seuda, complete with Kiddush and Hamotzi. They light Shabbat candles and may even go to services Shabbat morning.

But they drive. They go out for ice cream. They flick light switches and watch TV. They are totally mechalel Shabbat.

Does their heartfelt Kiddush Friday night mean they are shomer Shabbat? Definitely not. They are mechalel Shabbat.

Same thing with women who cover their hair and wear miniskirts. Is that tsanuah? Yeah, her head is tsanuah, but the rest of her is not.

So sur m'ra really is more than the first step in a mitzvah; it often defines the mitzvah.

And just to be clear: I'm not saying that covering your hair while wearing un-tsnius clothing is meaningless, nor am I saying that keeping positive Shabbat commandments while running roughshod over the prohibitions is meaningless.

It's not.

(Please see If Someone is Eating a Treif Salami, Should He Make a Bracha? for more on that topic.)

But you cannot say that the person is shomer Shabbat, keeping kosher, or overall tsanuah, or whatever, until they start obeying the sur m'ra.

Anyway, sur m'ra is a good aspect to focus on at this time of the 3 Weeks.

Ahavat Yisrael? One step at a time.

​First...refrain. Hold back. 

Refrain from hurting people.

Refrain from inconsiderate behavior.

Refrain. Resist. Sur m'ra.
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Links to Posts on This Blog Dealing with Tammuz & Av

5/7/2019

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We've just started Tammuz, and it's a pretty heavy month.

​It's followed by Av, which is even heavier (at least the first 10 days, anyway).

If you'd like some help in understanding & dealing with Tammuz (and Av!), you can check out the following posts:

  • How to Fight the "Crabby" Mazal of Tammuz
  • How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz and Savage Av
  • What's the Message of the Erev Rav for Us on 17 Tammuz?
  • Dealing with the Mazal of Tammuz & Av
  • The Secret Power of Tammuz
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The Secret Power of Tammuz

1/7/2018

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Rabbi Alon Anava has got a great shiur on the power of the month of Tammuz for transformation, and how using that power correctly can extend throughout the rest of the year.

This shiur really helped me because I always find this time of year depressing and scary.

And yes, many depressing and scary things happened between yesterday, the 17th of Tammuz and 3 weeks from now on the 9th of Av.

But judging events and people favorably can change everything.

In this time period, due to the Crab mazal influencing things to move backwards and the Lion mazal of Av providing a more savage "tear it apart" inclination (both according to the Kli Yakar), we can find ourselves becoming harsher with our hearts and minds.

​And this is behind the Destruction of the Beit Hamikdash.

However, seeing the good in people and events, and judging favorably, can utilize the power of Tammuz for greatness.

(This does not mean that we whitewash truly bad acts or truly bad people, or allow them to hurt others, but that we see the good in things and people in addition to the bad, we find some kind of merit or something to be grateful for.)

Rabbi Anava speaks about how the disease is the same word as the Latin and Hebrew name of the month: Cancer/Sartan, and what the root of this disease is and more about the word Sartan and how it relates to the word seret, which is Hebrew for movie.

Being grateful for everything, even if you don't know why, and striving to find some chip of diamond in the mountain of sludge are the keys to utilizing the power of Tammuz.

Please access the audio & video of the shiur here:
The Secrets of Kabbalah behind the Month of Tammuz
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Dealing with the Mazal of Tammuz & Av

15/6/2018

 
Note: English dates are for the year 2018 only.

We've recently entered the month of Tammuz (June 13-July 12), which is followed by the month of Av (July 13-August 10).

Historically, these months contain a lot of tragedy and difficulties.

This is due to the mazal, the astrological influence, of these months.

If you find it harder to work on certain character traits or you find certain flaws getting the best of you, the mazal (Crab/Cancer and Lion/Leo) is the reason.

You also may notice other people acting "off." The mazal is why.

When we know that others are struggling against unseen forces, it helps us to give them the benefit of the doubt and judge them more favorably.

It helps us to judge ourselves more favorably too.

The good thing about the struggle against the mazal of Tammuz and Av is that it gets us into shape for Elul (August 11-September 9), whose mazal is so much more conducive for love and bonding with Hashem, and teshuvah, which in turns prepares us for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

It's all about flexing that teshuvah muscle.

Here are some past posts on the topic:
The Kli Yakar - Parshat Devarim
How to Fight the Crabby Mazal of Tammuz
How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz and Savage Av

May we all succeed in rising above all negative influences.
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What's the Message of the Erev Rav for Us on 17 Tammuz?

11/7/2017

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The first tragic event to occur on the 17th of Tammuz was Moshe Rabbeinu breaking the first set of Tablets when he saw the Jewish Nation worshiping the Golden Calf.

(For a synopsis of the tragedy, please see What was the Golden Calf?)

How did the Jewish people go from the Divinely gifted exalted spiritual level necessary to receive the Torah in all its glory to worshiping an idol only 40 days later?

The Original Fake News & Its Twin: Fake Fear

Moshe Rabbeinu promised to be up on the mountain with Hashem for 40 days, after which he would return. The people miscalculated, so when Moshe Rabbeinu didn't come back on the 16th of Tammuz, they got worried.

Or did they?

It was actually the Erev Rav who got worried...but not for the reasons you might think.

Well aware that Hashem objected to their presence and that it was Moshe Rabbeinu who allowed them to join along, the Erev Rav feared that without Moshe Rabbeinu, they'd be kicked out by Hashem (as if Hashem couldn't just kick them out if He chose to).

This is why the Erev Rav felt they needed to create a new leader, and to do it on the double.

So they sounded an alarm of sorts that affected the emuna of the Jews.

In addition, the satan (a prosecuting angel) adjusted nature to provide a gloomy atmosphere. And rather than taking an emuna-driven "Let's wait and see" approach of yishuv hadaat, the true Jews of Yisrael got sucked into the Erev Rav fear.

Important Note:
  • The Jews NEVER had anything to fear.
  • They were beloved to Hashem.
  • So even if something had happened to Moshe Rabbeinu, Hashem would still take care of Yisrael as a mother cares for her newborn baby.
  • It was the Erev Rav who stood to lose out if Moshe Rabbeinu didn't return.
  • The Jews would have been fine all along NO MATTER WHAT.

In other words, the Jews panicked for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
​
And that was their first mistake.

The Importance of Daat Torah

Before he left, Moshe Rabbeinu told the Elders:
"Wait for us here until we return to you, and here Aharon and Chur are with you; whoever has a case, let him go to them."

So at this point, the Jews consulted with Chur, the son of Miriam Haneviah and Kalev ben Yafuneh.

Apparently, Chur told them in no uncertain terms that they didn't need any new leader and were forbidden from doing so.

So they killed him.

Okay, let's look at this for a minute.

Back then, the Erev Rav was obvious. They even looked different to the point that the Moavites could differentiate between Erev Rav and Yisrael.

​(Please see the Kli Yakar on Parshat Balak for more about that.)

Also, these Erev Rav people were NOT descended from the Avot and Imahot. And the Jews KNEW this.

So why did they listen to the Erev Rav over their own leader (appointed by Moshe Rabbeinu himself), a leader who had proven himself time and again?

(See here for a brief and impressive bio of Chur.)

Picture the scene for a moment:
  • You've got these clearly non-Jewish-looking people talking to you in either Egyptian-accented Hebrew or in Egyptian itself,
  • people whom you know aren't really a part of you
  • and whom you know aren't even wanted by Hashem

...and you decide to listen to them over the daat Torah approved by the greatest prophet who has ever and would ever live?

What on Earth were the Jews thinking?

(For more details please see the Kli Yakar on Parshat Ki Tisa and scroll down past the chelbana.)

The Original Cult Leader

Okay, remember:

This whole thing started out as a quest to create a leader.

Not an idol and not a cult, but simply a new leader.

And the Erev Rav probably didn't seem so bad.

They probably just seemed pro-active. Take charge!-types. Self-empowering.

Maybe they even seemed caring and inspirational.

Maybe they conducted promotional self-empowerment seminars.

Yet the Erev Rav, being steeped in Egyptian ways, wanted to be led by the stars, which is why a calf representing the Taurus constellation popped out.

In fact, they assumed that Moshe Rabbeinu's power derived from some kind of star-image, and not from his own inner work and holiness.

Of course, the Jewish women resisted handing over the jewelry for the dastardly deed, but the men insisted and the calf was made.

Once the idol was created, the Jews should have immediately realized what they were getting into.

After all, bovine-shaped idols were all the rage in that part of the world for millennia. It's sort of like if an "Ephraimite" was leading everyone to what he claimed was a Chanukah party and then suddenly whipped out a cross right before the festivities started.

I mean, you know the guy is not Torah-true, and now he's waving this big cross around at the party. And you know that's not just some random giant "T" because Christians have been using that symbol for the past 2000 years.

So it seems like they should've known.

But what ensued next was a free-for-all that included debauchery, drugs and alcohol, adultery, and blasphemy.

At this point, viewing the scene from above & putting aside their physical differences, could you differentiate between the Erev Rav and the Bnei Yisrael?

Not really; they were all acting the same.

Perhaps if you looked carefully, you might notice that only certain people are orchestrating the whole event, and those people look kind of different than the participants.

​But overall, you would not be able to specify who was who according to behavior.

And upon seeing this, Moshe Rabbeinu smashed the Tablets.

And this is one of the reasons we mourn today.

Lessons from & about the Erev Rav

So what do we learn from this?
  • The Erev Rav think only about themselves, which also means they are obsessed with aligning themselves to whoever seems most powerful & they are obsessed with materialism.
 
  • For their own self-interests, they will do whatever they can to get an authentic Yisrael WHO HAS NO REASON TO FEAR all riled up with anxiety and fear over an outcome that affects the Erev Rav ONLY.
 
  • Erev Rav motivations are very different than Jewish motivations, although Erev Rav will speak to Jews in a "Jewish" language, if you get my drift.
​
  • This panic discourages authentic Jews from listening to tested-and-true daat Torah.

There are other lessons, but that's all I can think of for now.

Signs that You May be Suffering under the "Erev Rav Effect"

So what can we do about it? 

​Here are some question that might have popped up in your mind:
  • Are you Erev Rav?
  • Are you a Yisrael caught up in an Erev Rav fiesta?
  • Are you a Yisrael with Erev Rav sparks pricking about your holy Jewish soul?

You can't really know.

But what you CAN do is take a step back from it all, especially at the following times:
​
  • Are you feeling panicked?
 
  • Are you feeling desperate?
 
  • Are you feeling like "Move, move, move!" or "Do, do, do!"?
 
  • Are you willing to latch on to anyone or anything who seems to promise security & leadership?
 
  • Are you listening to the silver-tongued voices of people who obviously aren't the real deal while dismissing authentic daat Torah? (And I mean REAL daat Torah; not every Orthodox rabbi is daat Torah!)
 
  • Are you blindly assuming the other cares about the same things you do, when much of what they say or do actually points to a completely different motive?
 
  • Do you want to contemplate issues and situations before acting, but you have people around you (or even a voice within yourself), pressuring you to just jump into the frenzy without another thought?
 
  • When you want to discuss real issues of emunah and serving Hashem and genuine Torah observance, are you ever waved off, rejected, mocked, or even attacked? (You might even do this to yourself.)
 
  • Are you tempted to follow people who couldn't possibly have the answers since they don't possess Jewish tradition or yichus?
​
  • Do you see people insisting that you follow them when you clearly see they're holding up a well-known and forbidden idol...but you're caught up in your fear and peer pressure, and anyway, they've got such convincing reasons for what they're doing?

EREV RAV ALERT!

​The above is the effect of Erev Rav on a Yisrael.

And it's a sign to take a step back from it all and inquire of Hashem.

How to Deal with the "Erev Rav Effect"

Our times are different and the Erev Rav no longer look they way they once did.

Remember, at the time they were actually worshiping the Golden Calf, the Erev Rav and Bnei Yisrael were behaving exactly the same.

A Reform rabbi holding up a cross at a Chanukah party can still possess a soul of Yisrael.

They only real way to deal with it is via yishuv hadaat — taking a step back and asking:
​
  • "What's really going on here?"
  • "Is this the Torah way? If so, where is it written?"
  • "Where is Hashem in all this?"
  • "What does He think?"
  • "What does He want?"
  • "Okay, Hashem...tell me what to do!"

Why couldn't Bnei Yisrael have told the Erev Rav, "Wait a minute, Hashem's in charge. Let's give it another day and see"?

Why couldn't they have listened to Chur?

And even at the point that the calf appeared, could they not have said, "Whoa! Wait just one second here! Hmm...I'm going to step out and do some hitbodedut before I do anything else. At the very least, I can say a chapter of Tehillim before acting!"

They could have taken a step away from everyone and engaged in conversation with Hashem at any point during the ride.

Even after they'd killed Chur, they still could've stopped the madness. They still could have turned to Hashem.

And THAT would've saved them.

So don't give up.

Even if you find yourself swept up in a crowd led by Erev Rav after your real leader has been murdered and your other true leader has gone undercover...and even when you're faced with a clear symbol of everything that's wrong with the world and you're all hyped up to worship it with the basest human behaviors...

STEP BACK. And talk to Hashem.

It's not too late. Even if the Erev Rav stuff seems to be a part of you, don't give up.

Just turn to Hashem and don't repeat the mistake of the first Seventeenth of Tammuz.

We mourn it in order to rectify it.

​And we can!
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How to Deal with the Mazal of Crabby Tammuz & Savage Av

27/6/2017

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Over the years, I've learned to dread Tammuz and Av.

But I'm trying to view them as the opportunities they actually are, and not as the obstacles and frustration they end up feeling like.

A while back, I wrote a post describing my experiences in Tammuz and explaining the astrological effects based on the Kli Yakar:
How to Fight the Crabby Mazal of Tammuz

Later, the Kli Yakar mentions the effect of Av: the Lion.

Lions tend to savage their prey, which is why hatred and other person-to-person sins came to a head with the Destructions of both Temples on the 9th of Av.

And while we don't justify or excuse bad behavior, we can at least find a merit for people if they start acting wonky in Tammuz and Av:
"Oh, they're not innately awful. It's just that they're having a hard time warding off the influence of Tammuz and Av."

And even though the Gemara tells us that astrological effects do not decide a Jew's destiny, the effects are clearly there.

So what's going on?

And what are we supposed to do?

(Hint: The answer to this particular question is partly answered in the link above.)

Dealing with Tammuz

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The mazal of Tammuz influences a person to start moving backwards or sideways, just like a crab.

This means that in Tammuz, you need to push yourself harder just to maintain equilibrium.


Picture yourself strolling down a sunlit path with a gentle breeze on your back.

Now picture yourself marching down an overcast path with hurricane-force winds at your face.

You need to brace yourself and push a lot harder to keep going forward, right?

That's Tammuz.

The fun part of it is that when the hurricane-force winds suddenly stop in Elul, all your pushback ends up flinging your forward, spiritually speaking, into the loving arms of Elul.

Elul stands for "Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li - I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine."

​(The acronym is clearer in Hebrew: אלול - אני לדודי ודודי לי )

Anyway, the same idea holds true for Av.


Dealing with Av

As the Kli Yakar explains in Parshat Devarim:
That was in the month of Av whose sign is Aryeh (the Lion) because each person became like a lion who longs to attack his fellow
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If in Av you feel like ripping someone apart, give yourself the benefit of the doubt and recognize that it's likely the influence of Av working on you (and not that you are an Godless raging bull of a person) and then do something to counteract those lion-esque tendencies:
  • Talk to Hashem about your feelings
  • Search for a good point in that person and mention it to Hashem
  • Pray for that person to do teshuvah from love
  • Pray for yourself
  • Actively do chessed
  • Go out of your way to help others (doesn't matter how small the help is; even letting a car in front of you or not careening toward that ideal parking spot while cursing under your breath when you see another car going for the same spot makes a huge difference, spiritually speaking)
  • Go out of your way to speak pleasantly or at least courteously in even the most trying situations.
  • Thank God for the situation, knowing that it's from Him and somehow good.
  • Whatever else you can think of

By the time Av ends and Elul begins, you'll automatically be in a higher place than you would be otherwise.

Elul is a time that is very welcoming toward and conducive for teshuvah and self-improvement, and sweetening judgements and decrees.

So the very frustrations and challenges of Tammuz and Av are actually the perfect preparation for Elul.

Wishing us all a lot of bracha (blessing) and hatzlacha (success)!

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Keeping pushing forward!
2 Comments

How to Fight the "Crabby" Mazal of Tammuz

14/7/2016

0 Comments

 
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Don't start moving in the direction of this guy.......
Picture
........unless you want to end up like THIS guy.
Yesterday (written in 2016), I underwent two experiences which brought out an unusually heated response in me.

I was literally seething inside.

It was also unusually difficult to get a hold of myself and remind myself that hey, everything is from Hashem and to give the benefit of the doubt or daven for the offenders to do teshuvah, etc.
PicturePassionfruit: Good for eating, not for throwing at buses.
One incident (trying prevent a potential accident as I intervened with a fairly chutzpadik kid to stop him from throwing passionfruits at passing buses) is the type of interaction hasn't happened to me for years.

​The other (a car zooming by me anyway as I stood in the middle of the street on a crosswalk and clearly motioning them to STOP so that I could help 3 little boys waiting to cross the street) has NEVER happened to me before.
​
(It's much more common to witness drivers who see kids waiting to cross often stop of their own accord. Buses here sometimes even swing around to block both lanes of traffic until the kids are safely across the street.)
 
And these 2 incidents happened within 15 minutes of each other.
 
What is going on?
 
How can that kid be such a knucklehead?

And how can two middle-aged ladies in sheitels be so callous?
 
And why was I responding like an atheist?

(By "atheist," I mean, as far as the intensity and duration of my inner rage - as if the events happened on their own without Hashem intending them to happen that way. I certainly don't regret telling the kid to stop nor do I regret my rebuking hand gestures and facial expression to the ladies as they sped by - even if maybe the sun was in their eyes or their brakes weren't working or whatever.)
 
Hours later, I remembered the Kli Yakar on Parshat Devarim 1:1.
 
Astrologically speaking, Tammuz is "the month whose sign is Sartan [the Crab] in that his nature is to go backwards. And so they [the Jews] went backwards...."
 
Historically, Jews end up committing some pretty big sins in Tammuz, like the Sin of the Golden Calf.
 
So I'm not really turning into a crazed avenger and those people aren't necessarily bad seed, per se; we're all just regressing under Tammuz's "crabby" mazal. (Ha!)
 
Yet the Gemara tells us Ein mazal l'Yisrael: Astrological forces cannot overpower a Jew.
 
Therefore, in Parshat Bo, the Kli Yakar reassures us that for those who:
  • fear Hashem
  • think about His Name
  • and keep the mitzvot,
...then the constellations will be orchestrated by Hashem to channel the bad stuff in a way that prevents harm toward those of us who strive to keep the above 3 conditions.
 
And that is the way to keep going straight ahead despite the disorienting forces of this month's mazal.

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May we all merit to just keep marching forward straight on through the very narrow bridge of life.
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