Category: Technology

A Little Bit about Lashon Hara

6/4/2020

Many of our Gadolim already pointed to lashon hara as being one of the causes behind this pandemic and its bizarre consequences.

It's not surprising, especially since modern technology enables lashon hara to get out of hand, spreading around the globe – and to do so immediately.

Prior to modern technology, one simply could not commit lashon hara on the levels possible today.

How much lashon hara could you spread by mouth alone?

And that was already considered really, really awful.

Telephones & radios & newspapers increased the power of lashon hara.

Then with social media & Internet, the impact of one short phrase of even avak lashon hara (the dust of lashon hara) became magnified by thousands of times.

Podcasts & video-sharing sites also magnify lashon hara into the thousands.

Putting aside the blogs & websites (whether Jewish or not) that promote lashon hara, how many otherwise good people unthinkingly participate with a short comment or tweet – or even a thumbs-up "Like!" in response to a slanderous social media post?

Even people who care about lashon hara don't always realize that what they've read is forbidden.

Even if you care about lashon hara and have studied the laws, it's still easy to trip up in this area.

We all have our blind spots and we also sometimes forget the halacha (which is particularly complex in the laws of speech).

Very Common Scenarios that Trip Up even the Best of Us

Though I've been through books on lashon hara, studying a halacha a day over a long period of time, I'm always surprised by what I miss at this point about lashon hara.

Right now, I subscribe to an excellent Q&A about lashon hara that arrives in my Inbox every day.

(You can also subscribe at the Chafetz Chaim Heritage Foundation HERE.)

This way, you can easily learn a halacha each day.

And here are some real-life examples that arrived from this Q&A to my Inbox, examples that trip up even good, well-meaning people:

Bothered by wrongdoing

The town I live in has an overwhelmingly Jewish population. Every day I drive to work during the morning rush in our town, and the aggressive way many people drive really bothers me. They push their way into traffic, giving drivers no choice but to let them in; honk their horns excessively; speed wildly through about-to-turn-red lights, etc.

Q:I feel that if I don’t talk about it, people may not realize how wrong it is! May I tell my coworkers or family members, “People in our town drive so aggressively, it’s appalling!”

A: Talking about a group even without names is lashon hara. Additionally, many people speak like this with a “holier than thou” attitude that does not yield results and reinforces negative speech. This is loshon hora, and there is no excuse for speaking this way. If you are proposing realistic solutions to people who will take you seriously and make changes in the way they drive, that would be a valid to’eles, and speaking would be permitted.

Reviewed by Rabbi Zev Smith. Actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.

How many people know that the above is forbidden?

Unless you are:

Offering practical solutions...
...and offering them to people who will actually listen...

...then you aren't allowed to say it.

I missed this one myself because the person is speaking about such a general group (i.e., he's not targeting a specific individual or named group within the Jewish community; he's not even specifying whether it's a frum community) and because he has a good intention for speaking of it (he wants to stop it).

That's a big lesson for those of who blog (and gave me an "Uh...oh" sinking feeling in my own stomach).

Here's another from the same source on a more personal level. Again, note the good intentions of the person posing the question:

One neighbor on my (primarily Jewish) block is careless about where he parks his car. He blocks people’s mailboxes so the mail can’t be delivered. He obstructs people’s driveways so they can’t park or get out. He even parks in front of the garbage containers so that the garbage can’t get picked up.

It really bothers me, but as a peaceable fellow, I don’t want to confront him about it.

Q: May I tell our shul Rav about it? This way, the Rav can speak to him and he’ll learn his lesson, and I won’t have to give up on my friendly relationship with him, since he won’t know it was I who told.

A: One may not speak loshon hora about another person even l’toeles (for the benefit of preventing people from being harmed) without trying to approach that person first. Your neighbor may change what he’s doing if he hears it from you. Ask advice from a knowledgeable person as far as how to approach your neighbor in a way that is tactful and respectful.

Reviewed by Rabbi Zev Smith. Actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.

Isn't that such a common scenario? Especially since the questioner wishes to speak with a rav, and not just a friend or family member of the offender.

Especially because he wants to involve his rav, many people think that doing this is actually a GOOD idea. (Heck, I did too! And I've been reviewing hilchot lashon hara daily for a couple of years now.)

Surprisingly, it's not okay to even ask his rav to speak to the offender about it until he has spoken personally to the offender.

(This is, of course, in case where he's not sure whether the man will listen to him. If he knows for sure that the offending man won't listen, then it's a different question.)

Here's another common scenario, also from the same source:

My husband’s the best person to intervene
I was at my in-laws’ home for Shabbos, prepping the food with my mother-in-law before the Friday night meal. Suddenly she began criticizing the way I speak to my children. She was agitated and even called my parenting methods “lazy.”

Q:I’m hurt and surprised. My mother-in-law is generally a kind and sensitive woman with a refined nature and positive attitude. I want to tell my husband what happened so he can intervene with his mother and give her a chance to apologize or explain. May I tell my husband what happened even though it’s negative information about his mother?

A: When someone acts out of character, we must try to understand what happened and see it in a positive light. If it’s clear that the person really did speak or act incorrectly, we have to assume that she realized it and immediately regretted it. Speaking to someone else about the incident is usually not considered l’to’eles. (If the hurt person feels she can’t move on, then she should consult rabbinic guidance about venting to another person.)

Reviewed by Rabbi Zev Smith. Actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.

Again, this is another common situation in which many people do not even think twice about before speaking with their spouse.

And again, note how the questioner sees herself as a having a beneficial reason for speaking to her husband, especially since she wants to give her mother-in-the-law the benefit of the doubt and hear her side of it.

Time's Up

The above are all common situations engaged in by good, well-meaning people who care about hilchot lashon hara.

It's so easy to trip up in such situations.

And then what happens when such things are upload to public outlets?

Or even a private email or text between only 2 people?

Many people in the frum community have been complaining about the online lashon hara since the beginning – and good for them.

To their credit, they leave warning comments after posts or articles containing lashon hara.

But it has been going on for a long time and just getting worse.

Hashem was very patient for a long time.

And now we're seeing the consequences of our behavior.

May we all do teshuvah to the point that we don't even WANT to speak lashon hara – not even by accident!

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The Paradox of the Present Pandemic

2/4/2020

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The results of coronavirus contain both positives and some very distressing negatives.

This post addresses the consequences for both Jews (whether religious or not) and non-Jews.

First of all, it first achieved infamy in a place known for its violations of all 7 Mitzvot Bnei Noach.

As one example: Rabbanim in Eretz Yisrael actually forbade receiving organ transplants from China when they realized the likelihood of an innocent person (aka, political prisoner) being murdered to provide the new organ.

(This never became Israeli law, as far as I know, so only people who care about halacha listen. But still.)

And yes, some of the mitzvot violations in China are against the people's will, but not all.

For example, no one is forcing anyone to eat ever min hachai – yet some Chinese people do so happily with the approval of their surrounding society.

And while the Chinese government forced abortions on women about to violate their former one-child policy, no one forced Chinese women to abort their unborn females so that couples could have the son more desirable in Chinese culture.

(This has also given China the unnatural result of more males than females. Naturally, a society should have more females than males. China's ratio of males to females is the highest in the world: around 115 males for every 100 females. And yes, this is causing social problems.)

Furthermore, growing research shows that an increasing number of Chinese babies available for adoption are actually kidnapped from their families of origin. This is a particularly serious violation against the Noachide prohibition against stealing.

And again, very few within Chinese society seem to care about this. Some do (and it's unfortunate that they're suffering along with everyone else), but most don't seem to.

And so on.

A Change in Values

Secondly, many venues reflective of ancient Greek culture are now either banned or limited.

A very happy result of coronavirus is the increasing shut-down of ancient Greek cultural activities, the shut-down of the Olympics being most symbolic.

Increasingly, people can also no longer gather together to watch young men chase leather balls across a wide swathe of green or across a polished court (AKA soccer & American football & basketball).

People can no longer watch the licentious half-time shows performed by young women who have no respect for their own tzelem Elokim.

They no longer have an excuse to brawl and commit other senseless harmful acts in their great enthusiasm for watching guys in funny uniforms assault leather balls with their feet or bats.

Music performances, especially those known for their degenerate lyrics & acts, accompanied by rampant drinking & drugging & violent or lewd behavior, are being cancelled one after the other. (Yay!)

Movie theaters are emptying out.

And bars & dance clubs? These are the scenes of so many crimes (and are, in fact, the main source of college girls being violated — though most liberals refuse to acknowledge this), in addition to drinking & drugging & licentious behavior — and now they're emptying out.

How many lives have been harmed by the whole bar-hopping culture?

That's all coming to an end.

Certainly, if people have stored a supply of alcohol at home or know how to make their own, they can still act like drunken chimpanzees in their own home.

But bar brawls that spill out into the street & prowlers looking for female prey are coming to an end (at least temporarily).

And who knows? Maybe drug addicts & alcoholics will have no choice but to dry out during quarantine.

Also, I heard about one couple with a young child from which the husband walked out and went to live with his brother.

But when the lockdown started, the husband decided he preferred to be with his child and decided to do his best to get along with his wife.

And so he moved back home.

As Per Tanach, Hashem has Distracted Our Enemies from Their Genocidal Plans

Our enemies in Iran are being decimated.

Interestingly, it seems to have hit the leaders first. During the Obama administration, the Iranian people themselves tried to change their government. Also, Iranian Jews repeatedly claim that your average Iranian does not suffer from Jew-hatred & are actually pretty nice in general.

The desire to destroy the Jews of Eretz Yisrael lies with the leaders of Iran, not the average citizen – and that's exactly who got hit first.

Furthermore, with Iranian leaders consumed with the virus now among their general population, they can no longer afford to focus on destroying Israel or funding terrorist groups.

Having said that, I'm still sorry for the suffering of those who wish to live moral & peaceful lives.

Showing One's True Colors

I still think Italy's high death rate (around 10%) is because the hospitals are making unethical selections, as per Rav Moshe Heinemann's Q&A session, in which (using well-known examples from the Gemara) he states that you cannot turn away a patient simply based on age.

Italian hospitals have been turning away people over 60 – just because they're not 59. Or 22.

If a person reaches the point where he or she needs hospital treatment (whether a respirator or a vitamin C infusion or other effective treatments unable to be performed at home), and that person is turned away...well, that naturally increases the chance the person will die.

And by behaving with such a lack of integrity, a nation sours the din against themselves even further, which also increases illness & fatalities.

Italy is also the birthplace of Rome.

Chocolate, wine, opera, fashion, a powerful mafia, and unholy religious practices had and still have their root in Italy.

There's nothing innately wrong with chocolate or wine, of course. By their focused excellence in these areas, it becomes a symbol of indulgence (rather than a criticism of the actual food itself).

Also, while opera is considered a classy activity, have you ever read the opera storylines? They're silly at best & immoral at worst, as are some of the costumes.

And all these activities have drawn to a halt. (Well, mostly anyway.)

And now this center of Rome is singing self-aggrandizing songs (patriotic or sports anthems) from their porches to keep their spirits up while their hospitals turn away desperate people simply due to their lack of youth.

It's all rather Edomite, if you think about it.

I'm sorry for the innocent there who are suffering along with the self-indulgent.

Just Say NO to National & Continental Unions

Countries must be more independent now.

The current situation forces them to enforce their borders.

Even within a country, they are enclosing cities and states.

In America, despite its lack of physical boundaries around each individual state, some states (like Florida) are enforcing its boundaries by placing checkpoints at all incoming roads and the airport.

Because most of Florida is surrounded by ocean, it only has states on its northern boundary. States surrounded by other states (like Wyoming, which has 6 states along its boundaries) will have a harder time doing this.

We learn in Parshat Noach that Hashem does not approve of mass unification.

Along with the plain text of the Torah regarding Migdal Bavel (the Tower of Babel), the commentaries are quite clear on this point.

You can see the Kli Yakar detail all the problems with mass unification in The Kli Yakar on Parshat Noach, in which he explains the despite the nations' proclamations of peace as their objective for mass unification...in reality, mass unification leads to more war.

Remember, prior to World War I, Europe was led by monarchies who were related to each other – some several times over.

For example, Kaiser Willhelm II of Prussia & Germany was a first cousin to the British King George V of England; both were the grandsons of England's Queen Victoria. The monarchies of Sweden, Norway, and Denmark intermarried with each other and siblings ruled bordering countries.

The Queen of Greece had a royal British mother (Princess Victoria) and a royal German father (Frederick III).

Queen Marie of Romania was the daughter of a Russian princess and a British prince.

Even today, European royalty consists of second- and third-cousins.

Yet all those marriages and intertwining sibling & cousins did not prevent WWI.

The only time unification leads to peace is when it consists of tzaddikim.

When Hashem disperses people, it's for their own good.

Likewise, you can peruse An English Translation of the Malbim on Parshat Noach to see that Malbim makes the same points as the Kli Yakar.

Most of the leaders of different countries (maybe all) are not good people. They operate out of self-aggrandizement and the desire to perpetuate anti-God ideas throughout society – just like Dor Haflagah.

All their ideas for mass unification and being "one big happy family!" and creating "a global village" actually lead to destruction, as detailed by the Torah commentaries.

Via coronavirus, Hashem has put a stop to this.

If you think about it, it could easily be that the number deaths from coronavirus is actually less than deaths resulting from mass unification, and this is Hashem's Chessed, even though it doesn't look like a chessed on the surface.

But it is.

Making Room for Compassion

Despite the obvious fairness of the din and the positive results from the lockdowns, there is also a painful & difficult side to the whole situation.

And that shouldn't be ignored.

And while I haven't written so much about my personal experiences within one of the most intense lockdowns in the world (Eretz Yisrael), there are definitely very challenging aspects to it, believe me.

I've had my moments in which I feel seized with fear. Baruch Hashem, they've been moments and not entire days.

And there are other challenges too.

And I also know that people who live alone, or who live in cramped conditions within a large family, people who live with at least one difficult family member who refuses to try to get along and behaves even worse due to the situation, people with existing health problems, people who were dependent on cleaning help, people who naturally possess bundles of energy and are now confined to their apartment, people who find it exceptionally difficult to endure the current grocery-shopping challenge (waiting outside for a long time while maintaining the proper distance from other shoppers) only to enter and discover there are no eggs or pasta or band-aids left, people who need a constant supply of essentials like diapers & baby formula, people who've lost a family member & cannot receive the support they desperately need right now, and all sorts of other situations...

...so by focusing on the positive outcomes of coronavirus, I certainly do not mean to tromp all over the very real suffering of people.

It's just that we should realize that this pandemic and its bizarre consequences did not come for no reason.

For example, it's good that all the stupid sports events that lead to pritzus & violence & animalistic behavior have been nullified.

Some couples with poor shalom bayit have actually been treating each other better & helping each other more because they can't afford NOT to get along in the current lockdown. Also, there's more appreciation because of actually being at home & seeing what the other spouse actually does. (The ones I've heard from aren't saying that things are perfect — they still have their snapping-turtle moments — but there has been overall improvement.)

Another benefit is that people who (consciously or unconsciously) built their self-worth on tremulous values (such as the ability to run a pristine home or produce amazing meals or excel in their career or sculpture themselves with gym workouts, etc.) are finding themselves trapped in limiting circumstances that are forcing them to redefine themselves.

In other words, people who (consciously or not) defined and/or esteemed themselves by their outside activities are now having to adjust themselves to their home & immediate family.

This is ultimately a good thing, but understandably very difficult & even painful in the beginning.

Another example: For some people, the sudden opportunity to run their own Seder for the first time this year is the chance they've been waiting for.

For others, it's an overwhelming duty rife with disappointment & stress.

So again, the obvious good & seeming bad run in parallel lines.

What's more, it's very distressing that people are sick & dying, and that the bereft cannot receive the support and comfort they need.

It's also very distressing that people whose livelihoods depend on outside activities (like musicians, caterers, store owners, store clerks, plumbers, electricians, house cleaners) or people whose livelihoods depend on people coming to their home (ganenets, in-home daycare, health & cosmetic practitioners, in-home sellers, etc.) can no longer earn a livelihood.

VERY distressing. (That's somewhat our personal situation right now too, BTW.)

Yet even when we can't physically help people, praying for them helps tons.

The Pandemic Paradox of Seeming Bad & Revealed Good Mixed Together

By seeing the results of coronavirus pandemic (especially the positive results), we get a better idea of what Hashem wants from us (both Jews whether religious or not & non-Jews) – ideas we can take with us for the long term.

He wants us to get along better – especially being nicer to those with whom we make our home.

He want us to enjoy all aspects of life, including chagim & simchas, just for themselves without feeling that extra extravagance is vital. (It might be more fun and more attractive, but we can still be perfectly happy without ice sculptures or crazy music or a limo, and so on.)

He wants us to become more inner-focused.

He wants us to focus on ridding ourselves of actual chametz (and all the spiritual meaning that implies) rather than the non-essential spring-cleaning aspects (which, again, add a nice feeling for Leil HaSeder, but are not essential to Pesach).

He wants us to let go of our taavot. (I suppose I'm not the only one who bought lots of essentials without having the room or the money to stock up on cookies, candy, white flour, and chocolate?)

He wants us to give up our addictions. (With increasing lockdowns, alcohol & drugs are much harder to come by, if not impossible. Online gambling is unfortunately available – though increasingly limited finances discourage it – but casinos are no longer an option. Other unmentionable vices are also unavailable.)

He wants us to pay attention to how we pray.

He wants us to be careful about our speech and what we do when we interact with others.

There's more messages from Him, but you probably have your own good ideas.

Also, we probably all realize that in some ways, people might also behave increasingly worse, despite the obvious messages to behave better.

When isolated or cooped up in stressful environments, people also immerse themselves even more deeply in hi-tech outlets. (How many people are surfing, tweeting, texting, uploading "stories," playing video games, and watching videos even more than they were before?)

People are also sinking into less ideal behaviors, like drinking more, oversleeping more, smoking more, eating more, snarling more, fighting more, depression, paranoia, etc.

So yeah, again, there's the good and the bad together.

However, by conforming ourselves to Hashem's messages, we can avoid a worsening of the situation and hopefully halt the negative consequences in their tracks.

May Hashem eliminate coronavirus from our midst and grant all the cholim a complete & speedy refuah. May He also return us to our schools, yeshivot, and schools. May we experience true "simcha shel mitzvah." And may we always gather together for good reasons!

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Rav Avraham Schorr's 9 Points Regarding the Best Response to Coronavirus

16/3/2020

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A valued reader generously summed up a shiur (which I don't have the opportunity to access right now) on the present situation by Rav Avraham Schorr.

(The recording is available here: 732-400-9003; press 1; then 1; then 41.)

Here are the main points:

Saying Ketoret is very important.

(For more information on how to do that and Ketoret's profound meaning, please see Interesting Facts about the Ketoret Incense Prayer.)

The rav expressed a lot of pain over the sway shmutzy technology holds over so many people.

He used this parable:

Let's say a person comes to a fork in the road with 2 options:

Road #1 has a lion.

Road #2 has a nisayon (a challenge).

Which road should the person take?

The road with the lion.

Why? Because there’s only danger to his body — his physical well-being.

But the path with the nisayon endangers his very soul.

That's not how most of us make our decisions, but this is the true priority.

Rav Schorr saw a similar example of this when he witnessed 2 people in the street who wouldn’t shake hands out of fear of the coronavirus...but they held smartphones in those same hands they refused to shake.

He said that, really, smartphones are so much more dangerous than coronavirus.

Shamelessness has invaded the streets & unfortunately infiltrated the frum community to some extent.

Just like Torah is more severe with men than women (though women don't get a free ride either) regarding their taavot, it is likewise more severe with women regarding tsniyus (dressing & behaving with dignity), even though men also must adhere to tsniyus.

Rav Schorr emphasized the necessity of a husband talking to his wife about her tsniyus. It's not ahavat Yisrael to remain apathetic to how our loved ones dress in the street.

(I'm also going to add that the idea of a "trophy wife" is completely un-Jewish and any man who secretly enjoys showing off what he's got as far as his wife's material attributes are concerned is a bit of a sicko. But don't worry — this can be fixed! Anyone can heal his sicko aspects. Also, the Pele Yoetz speaks a lot about a man's responsibility to guide his household in the ways of Torah, and to do so PLEASANTLY. Men can speak to their wives with love, appreciation, and respect regarding her tsniyus. He can also buy her gifts and do other things to show her how much he appreciates her, which helps her appreciate his POV regarding her tsniyus.)

He advised: “Be ready to give away a taavah (a non-spiritual craving): clothing or books or magazines; take something you want and get rid of it."

As far as prepping goes, the rav advised against panic-hishtadlut (efforts) in favor of mentschlikeit hishtadlut.

(I guess this means no ramming other shoppers with your cart or giving people dirty looks because they are doing the same last-minute shopping that you are...I heard this happening in some areas of the USA.)

And here are 4 final points from the shiur:

Corona is from Hashem, not China. Do teshuvah!
No lashon hara! Quarantine your MOUTH!
Get a flip phone (or the little phones we have with no Internet connection at all).
Real ahavat Yisrael (He said: “Help others now! What are you saving your money for?”)

Thank you again to the wonderful reader who took the time to sum up the shiur, which gave me so much chizuk & guidance. (You know who you are, wonderful person!)

I hope Rav Schorr's ideas offer encouragement, direction, and reassurance to anyone else reading this.

May Hashem protect us from all harm & may all the ill people enjoy a complete & speedly healing of the nefesh & the guf.

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Some Ideas on a Spiritual Approach to the Coronavirus Challenge

12/3/2020

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Both Rav Itamar Schwartz & Rav Shalom Arush voiced their thoughts on how to respond to coronavirus, based on spiritual "physics":

Along these lines (and based on opinions heard from different rabbanim on previous misfortunes in Jewish history), this post expands on possible connections. Again, these follow the mussar I've learned, plus Jewish perspectives of similar events, however, they're still just my own ideas and not more than that.

Withdrawing the Unparalleled Privilege

Sometimes, when we don't show enough appreciation for a mitzvah, Hashem temporarily withdraws it.

Our halachic obligations are actually privileges, even if they don't always feel that way.

Serving Hashem b'simcha is one of the most vital aspects of Judaism (and sometimes, one of the hardest).

So Hashem might temporarily withdraw the opportunity to learn Torah in yeshivah, to learn in a frum school, to daven in a minyan, and so on, if we haven't been doing so with enough zest.

Likewise, if we go according to Rav Arush's idea, we see that a quarantine is either a way to separate us from others and/or an effective way to make us spend more time with others (if we have family at home), which can also be both a blessing & a challenge to our middot.

Yearning for these sometimes unappreciated opportunities is a good way to earn them back.

Warm or Cold: Which Way will Things Go?

On the other hand, going according to Rav Itamar Schwartz's idea of all the social media connection being "cold" (like Amalek) and back-to-back, when we need more "warm" face-to-face connection:

Imposed quarantines can force us into more face-to-face communication (if we live with others). But for those alone, it forces them into more back-to-back communication (because that's the only way they can communicate in quarantine).

On yet another hand, even people living together can turn toward technological distractions as an escape.

We see this now when a group of people sit in a room together, yet each person is staring into his or her own tablet/laptop/phone.

And on still yet another hand, technology is less available right now (though I don't think we're feeling it so much at this point).

For example, I delayed buying a new printer when my old one crashed. Now the printer best suited for my needs & pocketbook is on-hold in China, even though the store I visited usually carries it. Apple says the quarantines & illnesses are delaying software updates.

The big clincher here is we're all expecting the Internet to remain running.

I don't know how much a working Internet depends on people being out in an office. Other related aspects, like the necessary electricity, does need hands-on people to keep going.

But even with those who escape into their phones or computers at home, we'll still be forced to spend more time with actual people (if we have them around).

Certainly, a downturn in our ability to go out or use other forms of communication opens up more opportunity to spend time in prayer & learning Torah.

Looking into Ourselves for Ideas

Right now, our ability to engage in certain mitzvot is limited.

Why might Hashem do that?

It's connected to the idea above, that if we don't use a spiritual privilege properly, Hashem might temporarily withdraw it.

So if we invest ego gratification in a mitzvah or perform it with a non-Jewish flavor, then that also cheapens the mitzvah.

In the past few parshas, for example, the Kli Yakar has discussed copiously the intent of wealthy people when they give tzedakah. If there is pride involved, it diminishes the mitzvah quite a lot, even if the actual amount given was quite generous.

Likewise, sometimes people get caught up in a well-intended yet misguided perspective regarding mitzvot.

Sometimes, very precious mitzvot like hachnasat orchim or bikur cholim invite lashon hara or other prohibitions if we're not careful.

Bitul Torah (or just plain bitul) can also be a problem in conversation. Even just taking upon oneself to insert at least one Torah thought into an otherwise tiflus chat can make a huge difference, spiritually speaking.

As much as we can, our get-togethers should consist only of mitzvot & real Jewish simcha.

Some communities love to celebrate mitzvah milestones, like weddings, bar mitzvahs, chalakas, brissim, etc., with a massive investment of money & planning.

The core desire is rooted in the neshamah's awareness of the spiritual beauty of the event.

But the mind & heart can get caught up in the material or competitive or insecure aspects that sometimes end up coming to fore.

Yet even a tiny bit of restraint or looking into one's underlying motivations (even if it doesn't feel like extravagance because so many other people are doing the same) can have a resounding effect in Shamayim.

Another example: In the effort to look nice l'chvod Shabbat or attending shul, some people style themselves in a way to knock people's eyes out.

This too can be remedied by using very small steps.

For example, a little less blush "l'shem Shamayim" or a skirt that's a bit longer or a hair-covering that's a bit more refined or going with regular heels (or even flats) rather than 2-inch spindly heels can have a surprisingly powerful impact in Shamayim.

Also, woman habituated to scarlet-nail manicures can choose a more refined color.

Even though long nails are still a problem within tsniyut, and in some communities nail polish is a big no-no regardless of color, the fact that she's refining herself for Hashem even in a small way is still a VERY BIG DEAL IN SHAMAYIM.

If you're doing it for Hashem, these little refinements can resound far more than imaginable.

Seriously.

Just as one example, Malky Feig’s Mountain Climbers 2 tells of how a young frum woman overcame a bleak diagnosis when she resolved to stop using a soft-bristled hairbrush on Shabbat (because it unintentionally pulls out hairs, which is forbidden on Shabbat, even though she’d bought the soft bristles to avoid such a thing—but it unintentionally pulled out some hair anyway).

Many people will scoff if you focus on such small seemingly insignificant acts, but the proof is in that story and many other stories of this type.

Other people might not notice your efforts, but Hashem sure does.

Small Steps CAN Tilt the Heavenly Scales—YES, THEY CAN!

Hashem cares about our heart.

So yes, seemingly insignificant acts reap huge results...as long as we're doing it for Him and His Torah.

Everyone's on a different level and each person excels at one aspect while struggling with another aspect — and these aspects are different for each person.

Deciding what aspect (no matter how small) to focus on is a very individual decision.

Frankly, I think heeding Rav Avigdor Miller's recommendation not to discuss your process with others is very wise.

(He's repeats this recommendation in several lectures. Here's one example: Rav Avigdor Miller on Friends & Cronies.)

Especially regarding small steps, another person can scoff at your contemplation and ruin everything.

That's not okay.

No matter how small, if you're taking a step in the right direction, then that is GREAT.

It really is.

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The #1 Way to Protect Yourself from Plague, Disease, and Other Illnesses

2/3/2020

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DISCLAIMER: These types of topics should always be read with the awareness that some illnesses are preordained, like maybe as a rectification for acts committed in a previous life. Or maybe something to do with the parents (which can also be affected by what's discussed below). We sometimes see babies born with disease or disability, for example. They haven't even had a chance to be influenced by the icky stuff in life! Obviously, there are other things going on. So please keep that in mind as you read the following...

Upon re-reading Rav Itamar's Schwartz's booklet on the Erev Rav (a collection of different lectures given on the topic), one section (pages 43-46) jumped out at me: Protection from Illness.

He notes that the impurity of a world without Torah is what makes a Jew sick, pointing out how Yaakov Avinu only got sick once he ventured into the impure environment of Egypt.

(Needless to say, this means specifically the impurity of the non-Jewish world, and not the wonderful non-Jews who strive to follow the 7 Mitzvot of Noach. A truly non-Jewish world rejects Torah, instead of embracing Torah via the 7 Noachide Laws, like a sincere non-Jew does.)

Quoting the Chatam Sofer (Shabbat 86b), Rav Schwartz explains that we cannot bring medical proof from non-Jewish medical healing on how to heal illnesses found in Jews — even when it appears to be the same illness.

Does this mean that, say, studies showing that extra doses of vitamin C & zinc reduce the length of illness don't apply to Jews?

So I'll risk extrapolating that yes, it could mean that vitamin C & zinc will work fine for Jews too, but it doesn't have to mean that. In other words, the studies don't prove that it will be effective for Jews, but yes, it can also be effective for Jews.

(Interestingly, recently, there was an unusually high rate of measles in the frum community, despite frum communities being generally pro-vaccination and therefore comprising a high percentage of people vaccinated against measles. Could the Chatam Sofer's chiddush explain that? I don't know enough about the whole issue to say for sure, but it's intriguing.)

Rav Schwartz says:

Hashem says, “I will separate you from the nations.”

This is the key we need in order to merit the promise that Hashem made to us: “Any illness which I placed upon Egypt, I will not place upon you, for I am Hashem, your healer.”

That is how we are truly healed – when we are separated from the nations.

But when we are influenced by the nations, we are susceptible to their various sicknesses which Hashem brings upon them.

The more a person shows that he is of the seed of Amo Yisrael (His Nation Israel), the more he expresses the Yisrael within him...the more he merits Hashem's Healing.

In other words, the more we think & act as if we're saying, "I'm one of Yours, Hashem!"— then the more Hashem treats us like one of His.

You Make Me Sick, Mitzrayim!

When did the deadly plague appear among the Jews in the Midbar?

Only when they allowed their hearts to hanker after the influences of Egypt.

Bamidbar 11:4 - 5:

But the multitude among them began to have strong cravings. Then even the children of Israel once again began to cry, and they said, "Who will feed us meat? We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.

Yes, the main kvetchers were from the Erev Rav, but the Yisraelites allowed themselves to be influenced by all the fracas too.

Yet despite the powerful sway of the Erev Rav, Rav Schwartz reminds us that we also have the power to NOT be influenced.

The proof is that in Egypt, we did not change our Hebrew names, our refined Jewish style of clothing, or our holy Hebrew language.

Apparently, that's all the proof we need.

We Must Trace the Source of Anything We Encounter

So, tachlis, what do we do?

How do we prevent illness?

We prevent illness by distancing ourselves from non-Torah influences.

How do we do that?

First of all, says Rav Schwartz, we must trace the source of anything we encounter.

Is it an authentically Jewish source or a non-Jewish source?

In other words, is it sourced in holiness...or not?

In this lecture, Rav Schwartz specifically discusses the following issues:

The compulsion of some to immediately seek to bring any new non-Jewish product or idea into the frum world (with kosher certification & rabbinic approval, of course).

The enthusiasm to get a hechsher on as many different foods as possible or to create a kosher imitation.

Yet what, for example (says Rav Schwartz), is the root desire of those who seek to either kasher non-kosher foods or to create a kosher imitation?

Giving into physical desires, making money, garnering accolades for this "accomplishment"...

Now, maybe sometimes there is a holy reason for doing the above.

For example, the wide availability of hechsherim means that secular Jews have more of a chance of eating kosher food (even without meaning to).

But generally Rav Schwartz's stated reasons are the real ones. Not always, but mostly.

New styles of clothing are created by some of the most degenerate people in the world.

Miniskirts, high heels, and tight pants are some of the least uncomfortable clothes to wear.

Waist-length loose hair is also a major pain in the neck (and in a shaitel, a massive expense in both the purchase & the upkeep).

Yet look at how some otherwise frum people insist on wearing them.

Their insistence is certainly not out of a dedication to uphold Jewish values because miniskirts, high heels, tight pants (for either men or women), and long loose hair (for either men or women, real hair or wigs) are not tsnius.

So what is the source? We all know it's not holiness.

It's something else.

Going off on a tangent: It is my secret wish to go back to the clothing of our Imahot – long, loose robes. With the right kind of design and fabric, these can look elegant enough for a wedding. And it's not just me. I have a chassidish friend with impressive yichus who secretly wishes the same. Maybe someday, we'll no longer be confined to wearing modern Edom-style shirts & skirts...sigh...

Many books today are authored by frum people borrowing non-Torah ideas.

And yes, Rav Schwartz acknowledges that they get rabbinical approval for these books, even when the entire book is in the spirit of the non-Jewish ideas about life.

(Usually, rabbanim do not read the entire book; they judge by a sampling & their estimation of the author's character, plus their good-hearted desire to help a fellow Jew with his or her parnassah.)

This happens quite often with books on psychology & psychiatry, although we must commend those frum professionals who gradually broke out of the mold of their university indoctrination and started to sift through the sources, in addition to using their own experience, research, and study of Torah sources.

Rav Schwartz says in other lectures that some frum people are writing legitimate stuff and also Rav Avigdor Miller said that some frum psychologists are using genuinely kosher techniques but speaking with psychology-jargon so that other will take them seriously.

The supposedly frum chinuch today is another massive culprit of dressing up non-Jewish ideas in Torah garb, then selling it to unsuspecting new mothers.

(Actually, I was a suspicious young mother myself because a lot of what I came across presented as "authentic Torah chinuch!" reminded me of all the Western child psychology I'd been reading in my teens & twenties. But my peers were uncomfortable with my questioning the methods we were learning, so there was no one to discuss it with, and thus it took me a while to break away from it. Reading Miriam Adahan's Awareness and then a talk with my rebbetzin really helped me cut free from it all.)

It's important to note that the people selling Western child psychology as "authentic Torah chinuch!" are not tricksters, but simply unaware that it's not actually Torah chinuch.

Rav Schwartz himself says that some of the people misguiding others are not bad, but well-intended. For example, those who are, say, trying to get charedim into the army aren't always Erev Rav, but a Yisrael-soul convinced it's doing a good thing. They're not evil, just misguided.

I'm not trying to rip apart these chinuch "experts," especially since they have such good intentions. However, they often hurt as much as they help. The assistance and the damage goes hand-in-hand.

I can't help being concerned that parents be made aware of this so they don't suffer like I and many others have.

Having said that, there are definitely people who ARE offering authentic Torah chinuch and who help much more than they hurt.

May they be blessed.

Our external appearance, our homes, and our actions may seem like pure Torah, but our minds & hearts often yearn for aspects of Mitzrayim (i.e., the non-Jewish influences).

This is a huge challenge. As written in a previous post, the secular world has everything down to a science.

They carefully study & calculate how to attract your very brain.

Songs are carefully composed so that just hearing a briefest sample of a song tricks your brain into wanting more.

Movies and TV shows are timed exactly to what your brain wants regarding scenes and turning points.

Advertisements spend a fortune on research to cultivate images and words to attack your brain into thinking a certain product or idea is irresistible.

Video games also hit you right in your brain.

Facebook has long been famous for their carefully crafted addictive aspects.

The list goes on and on.

How to Fight the Mitzrayim from Within

The best way to fight the root desire for outside influences is to:

Bring more authentically Jewish influences into your life.

Read material by real talmidei chachamim. (Nefesh Chaya by Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus is a wonderful resource for women. It's also a real page-turner.)
Read well-written books about tzaddikim, like Rebbetzin Kanievsky.
Listen to or read transcripts of Rav Avigdor Miller when he starts describing how the non-Torah lifestyle & values appear through Torah eyes. (It's pretty witty too.)
Listen to Jewish music composed by Jews with pure souls: chassidic niggunim or Sephardi piyutim are a great place to start.
Do mitzvot. Learn Torah. Give tzedakah. Do chessed.
Pay attention to talking like a Jew — what slang do we use? Do we pottymouth? Lashon hara? Any meaningless chatter or unnecessary clowning around?
Talk to Hashem as you would a Best Friend Who truly cares about you and genuinely wants to listen to you.

These are just some suggestions to start. You probably have your own.

Also (and I feel kind of silly saying this), but I'm obviously not any different or better than anyone reading this. All the above are things that I've either had to face with myself or am working on now.

I'm learning new aspects and gaining new insights all the time — sometimes on a daily basis.

Basically, you want to keep adding light to whatever your own personal darkness is.

May we all succeed in meriting a complete healing of both the body & the soul.

To read the sources referenced in this post, please see:

Rav Avigdor Miller on Choosing the Right Psychologist
Erev Rav Talks (a collection of drashos given by Rav Itamar Schwartz)
Erev Rav Talks, pg. 34, It’s Not A Financial Issue of the Government (when he says "In fact, those people [who are pushing for the draft] might not even be aware that the ‘Sitra Achara’ is controlling them, and they might even be earnest in their intentions. Some of them actually are earnest, and they aren’t trying to be wicked. They simply don’t understand what they are doing to us.")
Kosher Novels, Films & Shows, especially when he says toward the end: "Only the books and sefarim which have been written by those who served Hashem through a richly developed internal world of their own – whether the author was a man or a woman – are appropriate for a bas Yisrael (Jewish girl/woman) to read. There aren’t that many of these books/sefarim available, but they do exist."
Why This Generation is So Astounding

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Blog/Personal Update

2/1/2020

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This is just to let you know that I've nearly completed my final techie updates.

I now have Windows 10, Office 2013, and the Nativ filter. (This is why so many different standard things weren't working on my computer. I hadn't realized that Windows 7 is considered so outdated now. For me, it was still modern & new!)

Plus, we've returned all our household technology (the house phoneline, the Internet connection, and the underlying cables) back to Bezeq, rather than having them split between 3 different companies as they were before, which periodically caused us problems all these years.

It was switching all that over than knocked out our phoneline and Internet for 2 weeks.

I really love Nativ. (Netfree is another excellent option and was our first choice, but for our current needs, Nativ suits us better at this point.)

At the same time, I'm still getting used to using it and things get wonky at times.

As described in a previous post, hi-tech hates boundaries. It despises any kind of limitations. So the more you try to limit and curb its undesirable parts, the more difficult & aggravating it becomes to use. Even antivirus programs can make you problems at times.

(But better that inconvenience than suffering a virus or malware attack, right?)

So I might have weird blips here as I get used to using stuff with Nativ. (A really good thing about Nativ is that they go out of their way to accommodate your online needs, both your spiritual needs and your practical/professional needs, and they do so in a friendly & willing manner.)

But before I took on such a powerful filter, I mentally prepared myself that now, anything I do online, no matter how innocent, necessary, or spiritual (like reading Toras Avigdor) is now going to be at least somewhat less convenient & less uncertain than it was before.

And that's just the price you pay sometimes.

It's like no matter how inconvenient or uncertain or uncomfortable the situation becomes, you simply cannot transgress Shabbat unless it's a matter of life and death. You cannot eat treif. You cannot shake hands with the opposite gender.

(Note: I had a chassidish woman friend who, in reward for some work she did, needed to stand in line and shake hands with the USA Vice-President of that time (the 1970s, I believe), and avoided doing so via her own inner determination and outer charm, grace, and good humor. BTW, the Vice-President was totally fine with her respectful head-'n'-shoulders-curtsy in place of a handshake and he chuckled at her witty one-liner excuse for why she wasn't shaking his hand.)

And I'm not going to judge people who feel they aren't yet up to applying such powerful filters to their own Internet.

It took me a while to work up to it myself. And reading Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus's Nefesh Chaya helped enormously with making both the decision & the transition.

I'm really glad not to have to deal nearly as much with all sorts of undesirable images anymore (though no filter is perfect). For example, this wonderful Weebly website-host features a flash-image of a young woman with a particularly inappropriate tattoo every time you log out. You can't avoid it! And I personally did not like seeing this.

Just as bad, I always needed to remember not to log out when my husband or children were around, so they wouldn't see it too. (And this is when I had a filter, albeit one not as good as Nativ or Netfree.)

But with Nativ, it just logs out normally without any images. Yay!

Also I can't surf anymore, which ended up being a huge time-sinkhole, even if I wanted to look up something innocent, like a recipe or the answer to a question on Quora.

Also, it's really not so healthy to read what all sorts of people say when these people do not share your Torah values and perspectives.

So I'm feeling good about this, even as I dislike the transition-phase.

And that's how it goes.

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FYI

29/11/2019

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I'm planning on making a major overhaul to my computer, hopefully in the coming week.

Usually, I don't have great mazal in the techie world, so who knows what will happen?

Also, I have "Post-Traumatic Tech Disorder" (which is a term I totally made up, but I bet you know exactly what I mean), and this makes everything even worse.

Despite all the boasts of how easy, simple, and quick this-or-that technological improvement is supposed to be, I usually run into hair-yanking bugs.

So if I accidentally lock myself out of this site or my email, that's what happened.

If I manage to produce & pre-schedule posts before the overhaul, it may look like I'm here, but really I'm not.

Or things may go swimmingly.

You can never really know in advance...

I don't own a Mac (which I heard are actually the best computers), but the feelings can still be the same.

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Peeling Off Esav's Mask of Deception

5/3/2019

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Ever since I learned of it, the concept of Esav as the blueprint for Edom (the Anglo cultures today) has fascinated me.

Essentially, the pig symbolizes Esav/Edom. Though a pig looks kosher on the outside with its cloven hoof, its non-cud-chewing interior establishes the pig as 100% treif.

And as has been written on this blog already, we see this conflicting Edomite duality in dozens of different ways.

Feminist Fascism

The feminist movement portrays itself as the best thing for women, girls — and thus, for the entire world.

Yet modern feminism perpetuated an assault on everything feminine, pressuring women to act like and dress like men.

No, correction.

Feminism pressures women to act like BAD men, not normal men: love-‘em-‘n’-leave-‘em rogues, bullies, cold-hearted snakes, ambitious climbers, power-obsessed magnates, foul-mouthed aggressors, faithless spouses & absent parents — these are what feminist hate about men, yet idealize when expressed in women.

Rebecca Walker suffered as a biracial child with no support from her black mother. Rebecca's father was Jewish, making her identity issues even thornier. Neither parent ever gave her support or empathy. In addition, Rebecca's world-famous feminist mother was just awful throughout Rebecca's childhood.

Then at one point, Rebecca's mother even publicly proclaimed her daughter’s birth to be “a calamity.”

The personal deprivation and then this public condemnation simply for existing understandably devastated Rebecca Walker.

Yet despite her mother’s psychopathic self-absorption (psychopaths think pain is only bad when it happens to them; they're fine when it happens to others), this feminist icon is still held up as a black feminist role model simply because she writes well, with both a novel & a movie based on that novel considered as some of the greatest in literature and film.

Ariel Leve's feminist-writer mother peaked before my time, so I never heard of her until I heard of Ariel.

But in her time, she was hoisted up on the pedestal of super-feminism simply for her poetry and novel-writing skills, then declared by magazines to be one of the most intelligent women and one of the most beautiful women.

Hosting parties in her elegant Manhattan penthouse for other literary elites, she gushed about Ariel being “my daughter, my best friend, my roommate!” while newspapers and magazines admired the way she filled Ariel's room with "books, stuffed toys" and "little poems her mother wrote to make table manners and other chores more palatable.” [People magazine, 1976]

How peachy!

But again, the truth was very different. Ariel recalls coming out of her bedroom in tears as she begged these artistic geniuses to turn down the music as it was a school night and she needed her sleep.

Not only did these literary social critics and social justice warriors ignore the pleas of the exhausted 12-year-old, they even entered her bedroom as an extension of the party and Ariel’s mother also burst in for spur-of-the-moment poetry readings.

A 2016 Guardian article quotes Ariel: “...works of art excused misconduct. Narcissism flourished. Bad behavior was indulged.”

Another prominent feminist friend of her mother offered Ariel a lit cigarette to smoke — when she was five. You’ve come a long way, baby!

Ariel has since described a childhood of physical and emotional abuse, gaslighting, and “games” invented by Sandra that were so bizarre and depraved, I’m flabbergasted how anyone would think up such a thing.

Moira Greyland's story is most disturbing. It's also corroborated by her brother, Patrick.

Though I was never a fantasy reader (except for Harry Potter and the Oz series, of course), I always saw their mother's name scrawled prominently across her novels in the promotional displays in every book store, in addition to seeing her books in many homes.

One of her fantasy series has remained a best-seller for decades and she created a popular fantasy magazine that gave many successful fantasy writers their start.

She was particularly encouraging of female writers in this formerly male-dominated genre.

She was also a feminist icon, plus attracted to her own gender to boot. Oddly, she married a man attracted to his own gender too.

Yet despite how outstanding she looked on paper, hints to her hidden monstrousness leaked out.

People who dealt with her personally sometimes found themselves on the receiving end of a verbal onslaught — including fans & novice writers who approached her at writing conventions.

Some readers found disturbingly sick elements in her oh-so popular series. "What kind of person would write something like that?" they wondered.

Finally, Moira worked up the courage to speak out. She also called the police on her father, whom she caught abusing another child.

Nauseatingly, both of Moira's parents also preyed on children.

And I won’t go any further than that, but their daughter has a truly heartbreaking story to tell of her upbringing (which included being trafficked by her own mother to other deplorables and a murder attempt by her mother).

Raised by utterly depraved soulless parents, Moira managed to escape her torment and is today a conservative Christian opera singer and harpist who is married and seems happy, though she says she struggles daily with PTSD.

Based on her experiences and those of others raised by depraved parents, Moira speaks out against the social push for toeva couples to raise children, occultism and paganism, and other immorality.

Many people do not know the real persona of their feminist icons, but even those who do often sputter incoherently about “the need to separate the artist from her art.”

Needless to say, despite the #metoo movement and society’s calls for justice and protecting children and exposing abusers, no one wants to hear what Rebecca Walker has to say and Moira Greyland has also met with resistance (despite court testimony and other evidence as corroboration). Ariel Leve's mother is no longer popular or iconic, so her exposé has found quite a charitable reception.

“Works of art excused misconduct.”

Couldn’t have said it better.

Note: What's chilling about the soullessness of literary superstars is that they have had and continue to have such a profound influence on culture and mentality.

Yes, the way we think is also shaped by movies & TV (some of which are based on these books).

But who can remain unaffected by the insidious influence permeating all the compelling articles & books written by volatile depraved narcissists who wish to both validate & promote their own depravity & self-indulgence?

Amish Angst

Who doesn’t adore the Amish?

Wholesome and appealing as shoofly pie and homemade ice cream, the Amish represent the nostalgic America of the 19th Century.

One of my favorite non-fiction books is written by a midwife who worked extensively with the Amish in Pennsylvania. Published in 1983, A Midwife's Story presents a compelling portrayal of her Amish neighbors and clients.

She presents the good and the bad, but she mostly views the Amish in a positive light.

Sure, I did wonder about the seemingly high rate of mentally disabling rare genetic diseases mentioned in the book (“Of the thirty-six children on the roll call, three quarters were named Stoltzfus” was my first clue as to why) and I also wondered why they went off the derech at such a high rate if Amish life was so heavenly. (Over 20% of Amish were leaving the fold at the time of the book’s writing.)

Over time, more ex-Amish started speaking up. For example, what the book described as “Amish women dearly loved news of others families” is described as oppressive gossiping and tale-bearing by those who’ve left.

The Amish tradition of Rumspringa (“running around”) kicks in at the age of sixteen and allows Amish youth to experience non-Amish life to enable them the free choice to decide whether to get baptized and join their church.

In 1983, Rumspringa consisted of Amish teens getting together in gangs with names like “Antiques” and “Luckies” and singing in somebody’s barn.

Girls wore a decorative stitch on the cuffs of their sleeves and the boys “might wear wristwatches, drink beer and — in extreme and serious cases — find musicians with plug-in guitars.”

Some Amish boys even managed to buy cars, which they kept in neighboring non-Amish towns.

Yet today’s Amish Rumspringa often consists of girls in heavy makeup and jeans with boys in rapper clothing and all of them completely inebriated and holding smartphones.

(Also, as a frum Jew, it surprised me to read of the total lack of shomer negiah in what looks like a very religious community.)

And despite the portrayal of the Amish has close to nature and respectful of animals, reports show the Amish working their animals to death and perpetuating puppy mills in miserable conditions.

Despite the impression of deep faith, many Amish orders discourage their constituents from studying the Bible (a superficial reading is okay, but actually studying it is not—although many orders also forbid reading an English translation at all and instead permit only Martin Luther’s 400-year-old High German translation, which lacks accuracy and is not understood by most Amish, who speak Pennsylvania Dutch).

The Amish belief system also discourages a personal relationship with God. The church elders tell them what God wants from them and for them.

Those who know the Amish report that suicide is double that of the general American rate, but the suicides are often reported as accidents — even when a suicide note is left behind.

Needless to say, not all Amish run amok during Rumspringa nor do they all abuse animals or suffer depression or abuse each other.

And even the ex-Amish express fondness over certain aspects of their Amish upbringing.

However, abuse runs rampant in Amish families and churches.

And when the former Amish leave and look for the support and validation so enthusiastically promoted in the secular world, they face rejection.

Accused of being “bitter” and their testimonies nitpicked for inconsistencies, the ex-Amish quickly learn that most people don’t want to hear the truth about a culture idealized in the American mind as gentle, charmingly quaint, and enviously wholesome.

This resistance even extends to the police, social services, shelters, and American justice system, making it even harder for Amish victims to get help and put Amish perps where they belong (in prison).

Handmade furniture, organic food, sweet bonnets, and gentle religiosity…please don’t wake us up from our Amish fantasy!

Note: It’s interesting that frum Jews are castigated for exactly what the Amish are romanticized: being ruled by their religious leaders, cleaving to traditions, rejecting the modern world, rejecting aspects of technology, wary of secular education (Amish schooling only lasts until 8th grade) and isolating their communities from outsiders.

That's all totally awesome when you're Amish, but inexcusable if you're Jewish?

Hmm...

The Secret Darkness of Facebook

The more layers you peel away from Facebook, the worse it gets.

Most people know that there are human moderators behind Facebook’s moderation policies.

What most people don’t know is that these human moderators must look at some truly disturbing stuff in order to block it.

Hour by hour & day by day, they read posts full of hatred and venom, along with watching murders and other horrors.

Not surprisingly, these moderators have a high turnover rate. Most people can’t last long in the job and those who leave often suffer severe PTSD afterwards.

Those who stick it out find themselves negatively influenced by their viewing material.

Some moderators have become Holocaust-deniers while racist “humor” becomes popular at work. Some moderators smoke marijuana on their breaks (it’s legal in Arizona now) and then moderate the posts while stoned.

For reasons I wasn’t able to understand, many current moderators fear their ex-colleagues, claiming that these former moderators could return and harm or even kill the current moderators. Why? I'm really not sure. But one moderator even carries a gun to work to protect himself from this possibility.

Facebook offers little support or counseling to protect their moderators’ mental health. (Although I’m not sure how any kind of counseling can help a person who consistently watches someone screaming as they are murdered on a video uploaded by a drug cartel.)

Moderators receive low salaries with few perks. There’s also a definite “Big Brother” environment, with their every move tracked and moderators asked not to use the bathroom (outside of designated bathroom breaks) or pray on their breaks.

It's not so social, this social media, is it?

No Such Thing as a Kosher Pig

So there you have it.

"I'm sooooo kosher," says the pig. "I mean, FABULOUSLY kosher. Just look at my perfectly split hoof! And I've got lots of meat at a great price! What do you need beef or lamb for?"

But inside? Treif, treif, treif. (Not to mention all the garbage they eat.)

"Be connected. Be discovered. Be on Facebook."

Be traumatized. Be suicidal. Become a psychopath!

*

And a lifestyle romanticized as pure, wholesome, innocent, gentle, and healthy actually isn't.

And that which promised females rights & freedoms has done more to violate, abuse, and even kill females.

Oink, oink.

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The Easiest & Most Attractive Way to Copy & Save or Print Your Favorite Web Pages & Blog Posts

7/11/2018

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A newsletter suggestion led me to a website that converts a web page to PDF to save in a computer, or to print out, or to send in an email.

If you like to print out posts to read on Shabbat or you wish to save articles in your computer or send them in emails, this site works really well for that.

I didn't even download the plugin.

Just copy the address link of the article you want to save/print/email, then go here:
https://www.printfriendly.com/

Paste the link address in the white box and press the black box that says PREVIEW.

After a few seconds, it'll take you to another page that gives you options for PDF, Print, or Email.

You also have options for page size and stuff.

*If you click on an image within your page preview, it gets deleted (which can be good or bad, depending).

*There's also a yellow band with a garbage can that allows you to delete any text covered by the yellow band with just one click. (So don't click it if you don't want that text to disappear.)

I didn't try the Print or Email options, but the PDF option worked great. I clicked that, a dialogue box opened to ask if I wanted to Save or Open, and it got saved into the correct folder.

It's really quick and easy.

Okay, hope that helps!

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Learning to be Happy without the "Hit"

30/10/2018

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Previous posts (both on this blog and others) discussed how social media and viral posts and more affect you.

Because nearly all viral posts or videos cause a high-intensity emotion (like awe, anxiety, or anger) in the reader/viewer, the more you view this stuff, the more your emotional state stays within the high-intensity range.

The other problem is that this constant state of emotional intensity is hard to resist.

It's also hard to re-adjust to lower states of intensity when you've accustomed your mind to the constant flow of anger, anxiety, or awe.

Other High-Intensity Addiction

To use a non-Internet example:
If you've ever met people from high-intensity dysfunctional families -- like with lots of yelling and even throwing things -- they have a hard time enjoying feelings of calm or being unrushed or unharassed.

I've met types like this who don't even have "calm environment" as a goal for their own home as adults. They can't imagine such a thing and even find it very uncomfortable when they do experience it.

It's not that they try to imitate the same dysfunction of their home.

For example, one woman like this enjoyed expressing extremes of emotion, whether laughing uproariously or erupting into hysterics, but she never threw anything or hit her kids -- things that had occurred in her childhood home.

She resolved never to hit her children or throw chairs and bowls of soup (not at the kids) like her own mother, but she didn't realize she also needed to let go of the high-intensity emoting too. After ingesting calcium tablets, which unexpectedly induced calm, she complained & didn't want to take them anymore.

But it's important to note that not everyone who grows up in a high-intensity dysfunctional home retains an addiction to high-intensity. Some grow up to abhor any emotional extremes. On the contrary, they crave calm, balanced environments and create very calm homes.

So it depends.

Even from the same family, one sibling grows up addicted to high intensity and the other grows up to abhor it.

Day-Glo Brains

Anyway, the point is that all this viral stuff is exactly what keeps people on edge.

And now we have children growing up with this, never knowing anything but the viral brain-hits.

And I wonder if that's why so many people seem to enjoy being easily offended and even seek out offense.

(In addition to the victim entitlement mentality, which gives its user the feeling of justification to indulge in any behavior they choose.)

I also wonder if this ties into the rising drug and alcohol addiction, extreme "sports," and many other aspects of modern life that keep people "up" in a high-intensity emotional state.

Anyway, that's what I'm trying to work on now: the EMOTIONAL appreciation of truly beneficial things, even if they don't give me that "hit."

Growing up in the Eighties, MTV, VCRs, & 3-D movies had just come out, electronic music with heavy base, rap, media of all types aimed at teens with the goal of delving into intense emotions while promoting a high-energy lifestyle (lots of models running & jumping as they modeled clothes), increasingly thrilling amusement parks...

Even the fashion ran toward bright colors and accessories: Neon was in style for a bit as were frosty blue eye shadow and blue mascara.

"Horror" for children (i.e. the Goosebumps line of books) and similar genres were also introduced for the first time. (Talk about anxiety!)

The Mickey Mouse Club changed from being a quiet staid amiable performance to trashy pop.

And then the emphasis on "being happy!" all the time as a sign of healthy self-esteem.

The sensory overload was on and you had no clue it wasn't normal. It wasn't even beneficial, though most voices insisted it was.

Some people get overstimulated easily, so if they dropped out of it or needed less, that's because maybe they had a "highly sensitive personality" or were "an introvert" or "low-key" or something like that.

But they were never considered "normal."

Low-Intensity Contentment = True Happiness

Anyway, that's one of the things I've been working on for a couple of years now. And yeah, I've made some progress, baruch Hashem, which gives me hope for my future.

It's a mitzvah to always be happy.

But maintaining the emotional state of a hyperactive poodle isn't the goal.

We need to be happy without the "hit."

Related links:
Did You Get Your Regular Dosage of Awe, Anxiety, and Anger Today?

Why This Generation is So Astounding (see in particular "Your Brain Under Attack")

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