In his masterpiece, Strive for Truth!, Rav Dessler presents an intriguing twist on how to view your trials in life.

He describes a man forced to endure the demeaning work of kneeling before people and removing their shoes to replace them with other shoes while the people just sit there above him, not even bending down to put on their own shoes.

Picture him all day in this lowly position, dealing with the unappealing feet of people too vain to put on their own shoes.

Now...

Watch as the picture changes when the view expands to show this man as the owner of a highly successful shoe store.

Rather than a lowly slave to spoiled bullies, he is a highly regarded professional who utilizes his expertise to provide his eager customers with the shoes most suitable for their needs.

Na'afochu.

It's an upside-down world, as the Gemara says in Pesachim 50a. The people who stand at the top of This World crouch at the bottom in the World of Truth. And those kneeling at the bottom of This World stand at the top of the World of Truth.

​In other words:

​The same person who appears to kneel at the bottom rung actually stands at the apex.

To apply this mashal to real life:

We sometimes encounter situations that make us feel hurt, degraded, or dehumanized.

Maybe we even live this on a daily basis at home or at work, chas v'shalom.

People enduring such situations describe feeling squashed, quashed, battered, whipped, crushed, flattened, dead, and more.

Their oppressor may seem larger than life, impossible, and so on.

Yet who's really on top?

In the World of Truth, we'll see our experiences as they really are: in line Rav Dessler's mashal, and not as they appear here.

We hear a lot about thanking Hashem for our trials & insults.

We hear a lot about how insults atone for our sins, help us both avoid Gehinnom & earn a truly wonderful eternity in Gan Eden.

Rav Avigdor Miller often spoke of how responding with derech eretz & equanimity to aggravating people helps us perfect ourselves (despite how we otherwise feel inside).

And Rav Dessler's mashal (which he attributes to his Rebbe) fits right in with all that.

It's another tool from the toolbox of emunah.

If, in a painful situation, we can visualize ourselves not as the victim, but as the tycoon of a wildly successful & highly lucrative endeavor, this can help us achieve emotional equilibrium.

(Note: This is not meant to deny the reality of victims. Someone who is victimized has every right to acknowledge their feelings of victimization. It's the truth of their situation! Again, this mashal is a tool to utilize, and not meant to deny anyone the empathy & compassion they deserve.)

Ooh, it sounds so nice. Right?

Just perform this simple visualization and...bibbity-bobbity-boo—your suffering disappears!

​Except that...

Those of you who tried to line up the mashal's metaphors probably ran into a stone wall: Your tormentors ain't no customers tryin' on shoes at your deluxe store.

They certainly aren't coming to you for help or service—in fact, they don't seem to need you at all...except as target practice.

The answer is that on the soul level, they really are your customers. THEY are dependent on YOU for your products & services unavailable anywhere else.

They are forking out massive amounts of capital for your "shoes"—maybe even going into your debt to acquire your product.

They don't know it, they don't feel it (and probably you don't feel it either)—but according to the mashal, that's exactly what's going on.

(The Chafetz Chaim states this outright with regard to lashon hara: When someone slanders you, Hashem channels all their merits to your storehouse of merits. [source] Now THAT'S a well-paying "customer"!)

Needless to say, this idea goes deep. It's far more complex than anything that can be written in a regular blog post.

Are these people simply bad seed here to challenge us into exquisite silver refinement?

Are they here to cleanse us of our sins?

Or are they people whom we tormented in a past life & now that the tables have turned, we face a type of spiritual payback to allow us to enter Gan Eden rather than Gehinnom?

Or is it a combination of the above—or perhaps something else entirely?

We can't know everything. (Not right now, anyway...)

But on the soul level & in the upper realms, you are the fabulously prosperous shoe magnate.

IMPORTANT FACT TO REMEMBER:

Like with a lot of spiritual endeavors...

...applying the above mashal to your own situations is EASIER SAID THAN DONE.

In the thick of it, you feel however you feel because that is the reality of your situation in This World.

​It's only natural to feel that way—no need to feel ashamed or like a failure because of it.

The shoe-store mashal is simply another item in your emunah armory.

And just like with the equipment in any armory, you need to learn to fence in order to use a sword.

You need to practice with a gun or rifle or crossbow or slingshot until you can use it in battle and emerge the victor.

So you just keep trying and feel really good about the fact that you even want to try.

Or feel good about the fact that you DON'T even WANT to even try...but YOU TRY ANYWAY!

B'ezrat Hashem, looking forward to seeing you all sitting on a heap of wealth earned from your brilliantly successful "shoe" enterprise!

Before we go into Shabbat Shuvah (the Shabbat before Yom Kippur), it's imperative to read what the author of Netivot Shalom says about it.

Going into Shabbat Shuvah with the appropriate mindset can change everything for you.

For a summary of the basics, please see last year's post:
The Netivot Shalom on Doing Deep-Rooted Teshuvah by Utilizing Shabbat as the Day of Love

​It's vital to both realize AND internalize the idea that on Rosh Hashanah, you became a new creation.

Literally.

In other words, you are LITERALLY NOT the same person you were 6 days ago (or whenever you happen to be reading this post).

In fact, NOTHING in the Universe is what it was—EVERYTHING was renewed on Rosh Hashanah.

This opens up a whole new world for you.

In the above post, the Netivot Shalom also discusses what to do if you "missed out" on Elul, Rosh Hashanah, the 10 Days of Teshuvah, etc.

What if you just didn't get your act together?

It's not too late! Don't despair! 

You can use this Shabbat (which Netivot Shalom also calls "Day of the Neshamah") for spiritual revitalization WITHOUT cheshbon hanefesh.

As part of Hashem's Great Chessed & Compassion, Shabbat is your shortcut to teshuvah.

Just read the above post before Shabbat—or if you have the book, you can read his words directly.

What he writes also applies to every Shabbat, so even if you mess up or miss out on this Shabbat, just pick yourself up again & try to apply it the next Shabbat.

​As the Netivot Shalom states:

​Also, what if you keep doing teshuvah on the same stuff again & again?

What if you feel there's no point in flying up—only to crash & burn...yet again?

And...what if (gulp!) you've even worse than you were before? (It happens.)

Is there any hope? Is there any point?

YES!

Please read this short post on the Netivot Shalom addressing this very issue:
​
What is the Point of Doing Teshuvah Yet Again When You've Already Failed So Many Times – And Maybe Your Sin Really is Too Much This Time?

​May we all merit to do complete teshuvah from love.

Rav Dessler notes that the "instruments" Hashem allots to each person are fine-tuned according to each individual's exact spiritual level.*

In other words, whatever we have (both practically & spiritually) is exactly what we need to accomplish whatever Hashem expects us to accomplish.

It often doesn't feel that way, but this is the spiritual reality.

Therefore, explains Rav Dessler:

Interestingly, Rav Dessler's states that if a person uses his instruments for spiritual advancement, then that person will find satisfaction in a physical & material sense too.

For example, let's say Hashem allots a person large amounts of money & success in business.

What if that person becomes very tense about all the business & money? Or what if his success goes to his head, making him greedy for more & feeling superior to those less successful than him?

Such people often suffer physical ailments (headaches, stomach problems, high blood pressure, heart issues, etc.). They feel impatient & disdainful toward their employees & close family members.

All this causes them to look for ways to relieve the pressure: drugs (prescription or illegal), smoking, drinking, affairs, overeating, meaningless travel & adventure, unethical behavior, and more.

They aren't happy.

​Despite how they appear on the outside, they actually aren't doing so well spiritually, emotionally, or physically.

The Me'am Lo'ez (Shoftim 6:6) presents a chilling story to illustrate this dynamic taken to an extreme...

Once there was a wealthy man who refused to trust in Hashem.

Instead, he strove to secure his future by amassing treasuries of silver & gold & precious gems on land, combined with fleets of ships on the sea.

This gave him the feeling of a safety net: "If my treasuries are robbed, I still have my ships. If my ships sink, I still have my treasuries. I will never go hungry. I will never lack anything I need."

Yet to his mind, even that security wasn't secure enough.

He ordered an iron door custom-made for his treasury.

It bore a lock only he could open.

Every day, this wealthy man entered his treasury to ensure nothing had been stolen.

At this point, we see how his obsession reached the point of absurdity: With such security measures in place, how could anyone steal from his treasury?
And isn't it enough to inspect it for breaches from the outside—why on earth would he need to go in & inspect everything on a daily basis?
And even if someone somehow found some way to steal, how much could be stolen from the vast amount?
Gold & silver weigh a lot; you can't carry much at a time.
​Even such a detailed inspection of the treasury once a week would be more than unnecessary. A daily inspection goes beyond all rationale.

One day, after he entered inside the treasury, the door unexpectedly closed & locked behind him, trapping him inside.

Despite screaming for help, plus beating on the walls & door, no one outside could hear him because of the thickness of the walls & door.

For all his efforts to secure himself against hunger, he indeed went hungry—surrounded by his treasure-trove of wealth.

At one point, his family & friends started to wonder where he'd gone.

After searching everywhere, they finally realized he might be in his treasury.

Knocking on the thick iron door brought no answering knocks or cries (as far as they could hear, anyway).

In desperation, they brought expert blacksmiths who, after much time & great difficulty, managed to break open the door.

But it was too late.

They found the fantastically wealthy man...lying dead on the floor.

His obsession with safeguarding himself against hunger and lack brought about the exact hunger & lack he strove to avoid.

​On the other hand...what if a rich man donates generous amounts of his money to tzedakah, plus uses his business acumen to help others (either by hiring or advising or whatever)?

This increases his spiritual satisfaction. 

By caring so much about others, he also makes himself a better person.

His generosity toward his fellows also causes Hashem to love him even more.

Yet it's true that even very generous wealthy people often don't achieve this level of contentment.

​This is probably at least partly because they, like most of us, swing back & forth regarding the use of their individual "instruments."

Generous tzedakah is one aspect of using one's "instruments" for spiritual advancement.

However, many successful business magnates still put too much faith in their own efforts & business acumen to both keep & create more money, plus they may also overindulge the material desires of themselves & their family.

So while generosity with wealth garners tremendous merits for wealthy donors, applying Torah values to every aspect of life creates true benefit & happiness, as the following stories illustrate...

A chassidish woman told me how, upon realizing how wealthy her father was, asked him why they didn't live in a larger home.

"We don't need it," replied her father.

The woman emphasized how much they all enjoyed the home in which they lived; it was a pleasant & spacious home.

But it wasn't more than they needed.

And she related this with obvious pride in her father's integrity.

After chatting with her several times, she impressed me as an emotionally healthy young woman who received a healthy upbringing and remained close to & fond of her parents & siblings, in addition to dealing with her own husband & children with a cheerful attitude.

And probably her ability to live cheerfully in a small Israeli apartment while raising small children during the first 5 years of her marriage derived from her father's attitude toward material possessions.

In Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life & Times of Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld (pages 229-231), we meet R' Yitzchak Tzvi Ratzerdorfer, a fabulously wealthy & very frum Jew who invested a tremendous percentage of his wealth in building the Jewish community of Antwerp, both physically & spiritually.

But his generosity wasn't confined to Holland.

In the early 1890s, he bought 10 houses within the Old City of Yerushalayim to enable the impoverished Jews to live within them rent-free, greatly alleviating their oppressive living expenses.

In addition, he bought 12,000 square amot of land outside the Old City to assist Jewish expansion outside the Old City. This allowed for the potential construction of several hundred units, of which R' Ratzerdorfer paid for the first 10 houses (including the first 3 years rent-free), plus a shul.

To this day, this neighborhood is known as Nachalat Tzvi, after its benefactor.

R' Ratzerdorfer also created a fund to support the aliyah of talmidei chachamim to Eretz Yisrael, plus another fund which provided the Shabbat needs for 10 families headed by talmidei chachamim.

During one particularly harsh year, R' Ratzerdorfer sent Rav Sonnenfeld 1000 gold napoleons for distribution among the poor of Yerushalayim (which Rav Sonnenfeld distributed among all groups equally).

Despite his incredible wealth, R' Ratzerdorfer refused to stay in a comfortable hotel when he visited Eretz Yisrael.

Instead, he chose the hospitality of Rav Sonnenfeld's simple home among the poor of Yerushalayim. (This meant inconsistent heating, muddy walks to minyan, outhouses, water pumped from a well, self-service without a household staff, and other serious inconveniences—a far cry from that to which the wealthy Dutch man was accustomed.)  

At one point, to the perplexity of those familiar with his generosity, R' Ratzerdorfer lost his wealth.

When asked how such a financial disaster could happen to such a magnanimous God-fearing Jew, Rav Sonnenfeld explained that the only sin he found in R' Ratzerdorfer was that R' Ratzerdorfer gave more than the 20% of his capital allowed by halacha.

After losing his wealth, R' Ratzerdorfer again visited Yerushalayim, where the kollel administration exerted strenuous efforts to return the amount of money he originally spent to build those first 10 houses in Nachalat Tzvi.

The kollel administration meant for this money to enable R' Ratzerdorfer to rebuild his business.

Initially, R' Ratzerdorfer accepted this money with warmth & gratitude.

Yet before he returned to Holland, R' Ratzerdorfer returned to the kollel administration & handed back the entire amount.

"I am donating the entire sum," he announced joyfully, "to be used to build ANOTHER row of homes in our neighborhood!"

Because R' Ratzerdorfer used his "instruments" for spiritual advancement, he raised himself to the level that he did not need the comforts of a hotel in his preference for the atmosphere of a tzaddik.

And he even remained a happy & content person without wealth, to the point that when the kollel administration attempted to help him rebuild his wealth, his greatest joy was re-donating the money to build more homes for Yerushalayim's expanding Jewish community.

This explains why tzaddikim are so content with their lives (regardless of their lack or abundance of health or wealth):

​They use their allotted "instruments" for spiritual advancement which, as Rav Dessler notes, enables a person to find satisfaction in the physical & material world too.

I'm sure hardly any of us possess fabulous wealth as one of our Divinely allotted "instruments." ​

However, whatever "instruments" we do possess (including the most materialistic "instruments") can be used for our spiritual advancement.

As shown above, the potential is definitely there.

In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Netzavim-Vayelech: Career of Speaking, Rav Miller discusses the famous phrase regarding Torah:
​"It's not far away from you; actually it's something very close to you."

​But, says Rav Miller, how can that be?

Any authentic Torah literature we read emphasizes the high ideals & expectations Hashem holds of us.

Most of us who read the classic mussar masters feel that, no matter how lovingly presented, the goals stand far beyond our reach.

How is it not only close, but VERY close?  

The verse itself tells us what to do: "...with your mouth and with your heart to do it." (Devarim 30:14)

Rav Miller divides this up into 3 stages:

1. b'ficha – with your mouth: You need to talk.
2. bilvavecha – with your heart: Your thoughts based on your most authentic feelings.
3. la'asot — You must do it; you need to actualize your talk & your thoughts.

At a glance, the process is:

1. your mouth
2. your thoughts
3. to accomplish

​Rav Miller discusses with your mouth.

Say it out loud!

That's the first step.

Verbalize your goals & aspirations.

Rav Miller notes that today they call such an idea "autosuggestion," but the foundation of the idea is found in Torah.

(Disclaimer: I know that since the advent of modern psychology, frum practitioners make a point of saying that whatever theory is popular at any given time, it's rooted in Torah. But when Rav Miller says it, it's actually true.)

Over time, the way you talk is the way you start to think.

Many converts & baalei teshuvah experience this when they transition from the coarser, foul-mouthed, increasingly hate-filled & condemning secular society to a frum community.

The laws of derech eretz, greeting others with a pleasant face, refraining from lashon hara while giving the benefit of the doubt, saying "baruch Hashem," blessing people & wishing them good things, expressing gratitude — all this spoken goodness influences the personality over time.

​Speech is unique to human beings.

It's part of the Divinely given human soul.

Rav Miller notes a fascinating function of the body: Even without speaking, the very act of thinking activates the larynx, palate, and tongue.

This is why, he says, eating makes thinking more difficult—not impossible, but more difficult.

That's because the speech mechanisms are involved with chewing & swallowing.

Using speech for self-improvement has gone on for ages in Judaism.

In fact, David Hamelech did this via Tehillim.

If you read the Tehillim, it's clear than many verses are him speaking privately: to himself with Hashem as his Exalted Audience.

Many times, I feel discomfited reciting the verses in which David Hamelech affirms his innocence & inner goodness. Being far beneath his level, I hold no such delusions about myself.

​But maybe by repeating his words, we can become the sincerely good & innocent person he became.

Likewise, David Hamelech constantly repeated "Hashem is my refuge, You are my Shelter, I am YOUR servant Hashem, etc." 

Saying it reinforces one's emunah.

On page 7, Rav Miller offers advice on how to say Tehillim.

The greatest Chassidic Rebbes repeated verses & holy thoughts in melody, singing these repeatedly.

Many Sages have advised meditating over a verse or piece of mussar.

In Slabodka yeshivah, they used to repeat until shouting a line from Mesillat Yesharim for a long time.

Rebbe Nachman's advice to speak to Hashem in your own words for an hour is part of this.

We should say, "I love You, Hashem."

Even if we don't feel it, saying it is VERY good.

Saying it can open one's heart to such beautiful & powerful emotions.

Rav Miller advises doing this with a mezuzah too. Look at or touch the mezuzah and say or think, "I love You, Hashem."

As far as teaching your children this concept (a vital part of chinuch, though it's rarely addressed in chinuch classes), Rav Miller says (page 11):

On pages 12-17, Rav Miller elucidates on how to genuinely feel & then express gratitude for sunny days, windy days, rainy days, our homes, our functions, and much more.

There are a lot of people who don't know how to stop talking.

A lot of people display a tendency to monologue.

Others can't refrain from emphasizing insignificant details as they speak.

For example, I knew someone who had great middot & was very likable, but I found her conversational style challenging.

For example, she recalled a childhood memory like this:
"I sat in the right-hand window seat of the car and it was 81 degrees outside—no, wait. It was eighty-THREE degrees outside. I remember the exact temperature because..."

And the entire monologue went on like that.

And while she was extremely pleasant to speak with in a give-and-take conversation or small talk, she related events in the above manner.

This is difficult to listen to...for another person.

However, Hashem is very different.

This desire to verbalize even the smallest details of events & thoughts?

These are great assets when speaking to Hashem!

If such a person can use their innate tendency to monologue, talk a lot, and over-focus on all sorts of particulars to speak to Hashem & to discuss holy verses & statements, or express feelings to Hashem, then THIS is a wonderful asset.

I imagine that's why Hashem gave so many people this tendency; they have the tremendous zechut to elevate themselves (and sweeten din over the world) in this way.

​Years ago, I started going through the Me'am Loez by borrowing volumes from a friend who owned the entire set in English translation.

The Me'am Loez is an astonishing masterpiece of Torah scholarship—written completely in Ladino.

​Initiated by Rav Yaakov Culi & first published in 1730 in Turkey, it sparked a revolution amid the deteriorating spiritual situation of Sephardi Jewry in the Mediterranean countries.

Reportedly, tens of thousands of families who'd neglected religious observance embraced full religious adherence after reading just the first volume of Me'am Lo'ez.

With the heartfelt goal of giving his fellow Jews a positive answer for the Heavenly Court on the day of death, Rav Culi reassured them that as long as they studied the Me'am Lo'ez every day, they could claim before Heaven that they had learned the whole Torah because the Me'am Lo'ez covers all aspects of Torah.

Its English translator, Rav Aryeh Kaplan, likens its restorative influence to that of Chassidus on Ashkenazi Jewry.

What is the Me'am Lo'ez and what was its power?

First of all, Rav Culi decided to write in the vernacular of those times—Ladino (Judeo-Spanish).

Many Sephardi Jews of that time either did not understand Hebrew or did not understand it well, making much of Jewish scholarship inaccessible to them.

The best way to provide them with knowledge was via their spoken language of Ladino.

With a development similar to that of Yiddish, Ladino consists of a strong Spanish base with many Hebrew words mixed in & Hebrew also influences Ladino's syntax. Aramaic, Arabic, Portuguese, Turkish, and Greek loanwords also appear in Ladino.

For centuries, Ladino remained the common language for Jews of Spain, Portugal, Turkey, Greece, the Balkans, the Middle East, and North Africa.

The wife of my husband's brother grew up speaking Ladino because her mother never learned Hebrew well, and Ladino was what she spoke in Spanish Morocco (Tangier). A Moroccan cousin of my husband also attended a school for religious Jewish girls in Tangier, and Ladino was the language of instruction.

Hardly anyone speaks Ladino today and the few who know Ladino or learn it do not use it as their primary language of communication.

However, a Ladino song with a wonderful melody about Avraham Avinu remains popular even today: El Rey Nimrod — King Nimrod. 

This song (including an English translation) is easily found today, and several modern singers have recorded it. I first encountered it years ago on a cassette of songs by Yehoram Gaon, and immediately fell in love with it.

A deeply religious song, it's one of the last vestiges of Ladino in popular culture.

The Me'am Lo'ez is commonly referred to as a commentary on the Torah.

And it is.

But it's also much more than that.

Though written according to the chronology of the verses of Torah, the Me'am Lo'ez reads much like a novel.

And therein lies part of its great power of influence: The Me'am Lo'ez provides enjoyable & fascinating reading.

Throughout the masterpiece, Rav Culi (and the Sages who continued the Me'am Lo'ez after him; Rav Culi passed away after completing all of Beresheit & two-thirds of Shemot) brings a wealth of Torah scholarship written in a conversational manner.

In fact, reading an English translation of the Me'am Lo'ez, it's astonishing to see the breadth & depth of Rav Culi's knowledge.

Even if one studied copiously for 200 years, how could one know so much, both of well-known & copiously studied works and also little-known midrashim?

Tanach, Talmud, mussar, halacha, midrashim, Zohar — Rav Culi not only knew these works with amazing familiarity, but also knew all the commentaries associated with these works.

And although it's thought of a Sephardi work, only its halacha is specifically Sephardi (although in translation, scholars added the Ashkenazi variations in brackets).

The rest of the Me'am Lo'ez reaps from a wealth of universal scholarship: Talmud, Zohar, Midrash Rabbah, Kli Yakar, Yalkut Shimoni, Rashi, Rambam, Ramban, Ralbag, Magen Avraham, Abarbanel, Pri Chadash, and much more.

If you read the Me'am Lo'ez on any parsha or book (like, say, Shoftim/Judges), you will not only end up knowing that parsha or book well, but you will learn a lot of halacha, mussar, kabbalah, and just plain fascinating information.

In its heyday, a bride's family purchased a set of the Me'am Lo'ez for the groom, much like the bride's side purchases a set of the Talmud for the groom today.

And much like today's Jewish man commits himself the the program of Daf Yomi (a page of Talmud per day), Jewish men were also expected to learn a portion of the Me'am Lo'ez every day.

Those who could not afford a set of their own or who could not read attended public readings in synagogues.

(Readings, both public & private, plus discussions, enabled women to also learn the content of the Me'am Lo'ez.)

And the reading of the original Me'am Lo'ez is where we struggle today.

The Me'am Lo'ez was originally printed using Hebrew letters.

Like Yiddish, Ladino was originally written with Hebrew letters.

And the script used was similar to Rashi-script.

Who knows Rashi-script today?

Only frum people, and not all frum people can read it. And it's not as easy to read as regular Hebrew script.

Furthermore, as noted above, hardly any Ladino-speakers remain to understand, let alone translate the Me'am Lo'ez.

You also need to be a real Torah scholar in order to both understand & explain the concepts elucidated in the Me'am Lo'ez.

​Fortunately, such a person was found in Yerushalayim in the late Sixties: Rav Shmuel Yerushalmi.

Interestingly, it was an Ashkenazi Jew, Rav Chanoch Eliezer Wagshal, who initiated the first Hebrew translation project.

After hearing Sephardi Sages discuss the Me'am Lo'ez & seeing Sephardi shopkeepers learn from it during pauses in sales, Rav Wagshal decided (with the support of another Ashkenazi Jew, Rav Asher Zelig Margolius) to seek its translation into Hebrew.

Actually, even before these Ashkenazi rabbanim sought to produce a Hebrew translation, the greatest Sephardi Sages of that time already spoke with Rav Margolius about a Hebrew translation to prevent the Me'am Lo'ez from being completely lost to the Jewish people.

A decade later, Rav Wagshal approached Rav Aryeh Kaplan with the goal of translating it into English.

Despite Rav Kaplan's Ashkenazi-sounding surname, Rav Kaplan's family originates from the Spanish city of Carmona and Rav Kaplan's grandfather was fluent in Ladino. Though he taught Ladino to Rav Aryeh Kaplan, it happened early in his youth and much had been forgotten.

Not to mention, many Ladino words known among Sephardi Jews of the 18th Century failed to remain in use over the centuries.

​For these reasons, Rav Kaplan reluctantly conceded to utilizing Rav Shmuel Yerushalmi's excellent Hebrew translation (rather than translating exclusively & directly from the original Ladino), though his English translation also follows & utilizes the original Ladino. 

(The above information is found in the Translator's Preface to the English translation of Beresheit-Noach in Volume 1 of the Me'am Lo'ez.)

However...

Neither the Hebrew nor the English translations reflect a complete translation of the Me'am Lo'ez.

Especially in the books following the Chumash, it's questionable how closely the Hebrew translation follows the original Ladino.

Certainly, both translations are fascinating & enriching masterpieces, which retain much of the original content of the Ladino Me'am Lo'ez.

However, the Hebrew translation of Beresheit/Genesis omits several paragraphs dealing with Kabbalistic interpretations.

However, Rav Kaplan restored some of them into the English translation.

On the other hand, the English translation omits some scientific discussion.

​Rav Culi made those scientific interpretations according to the most brilliant knowledge of the 18th Century, but at the time of Rav Kaplan's translation, those same interpretations were outdated and Rav Kaplan feared they might diminish appreciation of the Me'am Lo'ez in full.

(I couldn't help wondering about this, knowing how science ebbs & flows throughout time. I remember reading another translation of a book about Jews in Yemen, with the translator's apologetic disclaimer regarding certain natural medical practices of that time as being what they considered helpful back then — only for such techniques to make a comeback in our times, with evidence to back up their efficacy.)

Note: Like Rav Yaakov Culi, Rav Aryeh Kaplan passed away before completing the English translation, and so the English translation was completed by others.

Reading the above brought me to the sad realization that the best a non-Ladino speaker could do is read both the English & the Hebrew translation, but even then, you still won't get the full original, whether the supposedly outdated science or the deep Kabbalistic interpretations or other deviations.

(Also, I found it intriguing that Rav Culi had no problem including certain Kabbalistic interpretations for the most ignorant of his time, but both Rav Yerushalmi & Rav Kaplan concluded that at least some of them are not appropriate for us, even we frummies. How times have changed...the 18-century am haaretz could apparently handle what the the 20th-century educated frummie could not)

However, with all the Spanish comprising Ladino, couldn't one of the many frum Spanish-Hebrew-speaking rabbis of today produce at least a full Hebrew translation—and really, there are even rabbis who know Spanish, Hebrew, and English too.

Can't we have a complete translation of the original in both Hebrew & English?

Furthermore, how about a transliteration of the original Rashi-script to the Latin-based script used by all Spanish-speakers today? Wouldn't that make the original Me'am Lo'ez accessible to at least Spanish-speaking Jewry today (plus make it a lot easier for non-native-Spanish-speakers to work it out)?

As stated above, you really need a full-fledged Torah scholar to translate the 3 million words of the Me'am Lo'ez. 

While this whittles down quite a bit the number of available candidates for the task, they certainly exist.

The problem is that with Rav Yerushalmi's skillful translation, there isn't much impetus to re-invent the wheel.

Just to figure out the omitted sections—sections which really might not be appropriate for the average reader today—and other deviations from the original?

No, it's an overwhelming task for such minor reasons.

Ditto with an English translation, even though we have rabbis knowledgeable in Spanish & English.

And what about a transliteration? Shouldn't that be easy enough if Ladino is anyway based on Spanish?

Well, actually, no...

Why not?

Because...

Disclaimer: Different regions of Spanish-speakers pronounce the same words differently. I chose one & lack the knowledge to include all the variations. In fact, I never learned Spanish; I only tried to learn some to understand the original Ladino of the Me'am Lo'ez. Anyway, please keep the above in mind if you're used to a different pronunciation.

It seems that Ladino adopted a—let's call it phonetic, maybe?—pronunciation of Spanish words.

For example, the Spanish word for "people" is gente.

Gente is pronounced "hen-teh."

However, in the original Me'am Lo'ez, gente is spelled:

In English transliteration, that's probably pronounced "zheenty" — which is how one might pronounce gente without knowing the rules of Spanish.

(Imagine the "zh" pronounced like the "s" in "pleasure." It's a j-z sound not found in English, but common in European languages.)

​On the other hand, it depends how the tet-yud ending are voweled. Is there a chirik (ee) under the yud or a tzereh (eh)? It doesn't say.

But even if the Ladino-speakers pronounced it with a tzereh under the yud, making the pronunciation "zheenteh," it still isn't how the Spanish gente is pronounced. 

Yet it would make sense to transliterate ג'ינטי as gente.

But in doing so, you would lose the original Ladino pronunciation.

Once you do that (and if you do that throughout), it's not really Ladino anymore.

Likewise, the Spanish que (than, that) is pronounced "keh."

Ladino spells it קי.

Is that pronounced "keh" or "kee"?

I'm not sure, but if it's "kee," then you couldn't spell it que, right?

Other words like ella (her), which is pronounced "eyah" or "ayah," are spelled phonetically in Hebrew-scripted Ladino: אייא

​Likewise, there are words like:

This was likely pronounced "pro-vee-zho."

It only takes a bit of research & guessing to figure out this is the Spanish provencho — pronounced "pro-beh-cho." (It means "advantage" or "benefit.")

​But again, how would you spell it according to the Spanish alphabet?

So that's a major complication in coming up with a good Spanish transliteration.

And just for kicks, here is a phrase from the original Ladino Me'am Lo'ez:

And here in Spanish-English transliteration:
"...no tienen hatzlacha keh plantan arvolis e no tienen proveezho de eyos..."

In real Spanish, it would go something like this:
"...no tienen hatslaja que plantan arboles y no tienen provencho de ellos..."

If you know Hebrew, you probably caught the insertion of hatzlacha/success.

(I'm not sure how you transliterate hatzlacha in Spanish; thanks to Hava for her suggestion in the comments.)
​
In English translation:
"...they don't have success with planting trees and they don't benefit from them..."

If you know Spanish & Hebrew, plus you can read Rashi-script, then feel free to try reading the original Me'am Lo'ez here:
https://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=22704&st=&pgnum=1&hilite=

Anyway, I came to the heart-sinking realization that the original Me'am Lo'ez will never be realized in complete translation.

As a complete body of work and one of the most brilliant & encompassing works of Torah scholarship since the Talmud, it's lost to us (though in translation, we retain the majority of it).​

I mourned that fact for a bit, then realized that if Hashem wished us to have a complete translation of the Me'am Lo'ez in at least Hebrew, then we would have it.

Ladino-proficient Torah Sages with the skill necessary to translate into Hebrew existed in the centuries since the publication of the Me'am Lo'ez.

Yet it never happened until 1967.

​And whether it was for the English-speaking audience or the Hebrew-speaking audience, knowledgeable rabbis agreed that at least some parts of it must be omitted.

So I took comfort in the fact that we received exactly what Hashem wanted us to receive from the Me'am Lo'ez.

And regardless of any omissions, the translations of the Me'am Lo'ez provide us with a wealth of Torah knowledge & compelling reading for our times—and refreshing sustenance for our souls.

Around 6 months ago, my teenage sons found a pair of 6-kilo (13-pound) barbells in their old clubhouse.

Apparently quality barbells, they clearly cost a lot of money.

Yet neither they nor their friends had any idea to whom the barbells belonged.

At first, they left them in the clubhouse for the owner's return.

But every day my sons checked, the barbells remained in the same place.

Finally, we took the barbells into our home to preserve them from the elements or possible theft.

​We tacked a sign on the clubhouse (which stood next to a popular walkway) stating the presence of the barbells, plus our address & phone number, but no one called or came.

When the wind blew the sign down, we tacked it back on.

​The sign remained up for months, but no one came.

We didn't place an ad in the lost-and-found section of our neighborhood publications because it seemed that someone wanted to hide the barbells and the clubhouse seemed a convenient place for them.

Some communities frown on body-building, unless a specific health issue demands it. They consider regular exercise (like walking) a positive habit, but reject the culture of pumping up extra muscle for no reason.

(And I discovered how insightful that attitude is when I saw that frum boys who started muscle-building exercises indeed became obsessed with their muscles & physique.)

So we didn't place an ad because we figured the owner, by discreetly placing them in a corner of the clubhouse, wished to keep the barbells a secret.

Late last night, one of my teenagers happened to glance out the window and saw a couple of young men stealthily entering the clubhouse.

He called out to them, asking them what they were doing.

One answered, "My friend forgot something here...uh, barbells."

His "friend," eh?

My son immediately understood.

"Six kilos?" said my son.

"Yes," said the young man.

"Green?"

"Yes."

"We have them here at our home. Come on up and take them."

With guarded expressions, they came to the door and my son cheerfully handed them the barbells.

​As we'd guessed, the pair looked like they came from a community that frowned on body-building.

Then they asked for a bag strong enough to hold the barbells, and we gave them one.

Because I didn't want them to think that we'd stolen the barbells, I explained to them how happy we were they'd come to collect the barbells, and how we put up a sign on the clubhouse to direct the owners to our home.

Then we asked for forgiveness for any inconvenience caused and with smiles, they said it was fine.

​And they left.

Despite the countless kindnesses & mercies Hashem does for us throughout each day for our entire lives, it was this incident that made me feel like Hashem really cares.

​With Rosh Hashanah coming up fast and all the slate-cleaning necessary to prepare for a renewed lease on life, Hashem's orchestration of the return of the barbells prevented us from holding onto something that did not belong to us.

Returning a lost object is a huge mitzvah and one can transgress the prohibition against theft if one is not careful about making sure that the property of others stays with others.

How fortunate that the owner came by not only when we were home, but that in the darkness, Hashem caused my son to notice them at exactly that moment.

It's the kind of situation you can't create on your own and it made me feel like Hashem really cares about us, that He's helping us clean up our act prior to judgment.

In other words, Hashem Himself WANTS us to come out with a happy verdict.

God is not a petty tyrant looking to punish — He WANTS us to succeed!

​He WANTS to reward us!

Also, the above is a lot like another incident in which I davened for Hashem to help me apologize to & ask forgiveness of a boy I'd inadvertently hurt, but wasn't even in the country.

Hashem brought him right to my door on the first night of Rosh Hashanah.

(You can read that story here: When It's Hard to Say You're Sorry)

​​"One who comes to be purified — they [Hashem's agents] assist him." 

(Shabbat 104b)

Rabbanit Ahuva Arad, a well-known speaker in Eretz Yisrael, published a beautiful siddur for women in nusach edot hamizrach (AKA Sefardi):
​
Tefillah L'Hashem V'Hakol Mitgashem.

At 976 pages, it contains all of Sefer Tehillim too, plus many tefillot & segulot & advice for all kinds of situations.

(UPDATE: For those in Eretz Yisrael, this siddur can be found in the Ohr Hachaim bookstore chain. If they don't have it in stock at your local Ohr Hachaim bookstore, you can probably ask them to order it.)

The section entitled Seder Hitbodedut intrigued me.

How can you put personal prayer (which by nature, is unique to each person & changes each time) on paper?

And didn't Rav Shalom Arush already give us a seder of thirds?

​(Meaning: ⅓ thanking Hashem, ⅓ self-scrutiny & confession, ⅓ requesting stuff from Hashem.)

Turning to that section, I discovered that it literally is a seder (an organization or list) of pre-hitbodedut prep and guidance for the hitbodedut itself.

First of all, it starts off with the benefits of hitbodedut (personal prayer in your own words):

• It's more powerful & effective than fasts or crushing your attachment to physicality by rolling in snow.

 

• A Jew who engages in hitbodedut brings the Geula (Final Redemption) closer.

 

• Hitbodedut nullifies decrees hanging ominously over Am Yisrael.

 

• The act of one Jew engaging in hitbodedut rouses other Jewish souls to do teshuvah (because we are all interconnected as if one person with many facets).

A Jew who engages in hitbodedut and judges himself (or herself!) in This World (via cheshbon hanefesh and confessing one's sins) will not be judged in the Next World (because he or she already underwent a self-scrutiny & found oneself guilty of whatever, so there is no need for the Heavenly Court to do so).

Then there is a prayer to say before hitbodedut.

And finally, this is the seder:

Praise & Gratitude to Hashem

• Thank Hashem for every day that He renews the initial Creation (i.e., we continue to enjoy the Sun, Moon, and stars, etc.)

 

• Thank Hashem for any health you enjoy.

 

• Thank Hashem for any livelihood you receive.

 

• Thank Hashem for family.

 

• Thank Hashem for friends.

 

• Thank Hashem for having taken us out of Mitzrayim (Egypt — and having escaped the 49th level of tumah/spiritual impurity)

 

• Thank Hashem for every Shabbat.

 

• Thank Hashem for the chagim (Jewish holidays).

 

• Thank Hashem for the Holy Torah.

​Praying for Am Yisrael

• Daven (Pray) for Hashem to build the Beit HaMikdash.

 

• Daven for Mashiach to come with rachamim (compassion & mercy).

 

• Daven for the refuah of all sick people, both generally & by name.

 

• Daven over the troubles Am Yisrael experiences.

 

• Daven over the Galut (Exile).

 

• Daven about anything else you can think of.

Confession

• Confess your wrong-doings before Hashem.

 

• Request from Hashem mechilah & slichah (total forgiveness)

 

• Regret your past.

 

• Take upon yourself to, bli neder, be better in the future.

 

• Judge yourself from yesterday until now.

(Meaning, examine yourself & your deeds as if you were a judge examining evidence for a verdict. Don't sink into toxic shame if you find yourself terribly guilty because (a) Any negative qualities were planted there by Hashem, so they don't reflect badly on you personally or your beautiful essence; remember, your core neshamah is completely pure & pristine...and (b) You prevent the Heavenly Court from judging you and thereby delivering negative consequences because you've already judged yourself, so you only gain by self-judgement. Yay!)


Finding Your Good Points

• Give yourself credit for any efforts you make in the right direction (even if you didn't succeed).

 

• Give yourself credit for all the times you overcame your yetzer hara: the times you overcame your anger, refrained from speaking lashon, and so on.

Sha'at Ratzon — A Time of Favor

• Request from Hashem all that is in your heart, both your spiritual desires & your material desires.

 

• Believe that Hashem hears you.

​

• Believe that no prayer is ever turned away empty-handed.

(It may take time for a prayer to be granted. It may be fulfilled differently than you expect. But sincere prayer is never turned away.)​

I found the above helpful because sometimes, we feel stuck regarding what to say to Hashem.

Sometimes, we need help in articulating exactly what to thank Hashem for or what to confess.

Sometimes we don't have time, and the above, though structured, is flexible enough to be completed in 15 minutes. (Or it can be stretched out to 2 hours or even more.)

Or you might forget that cheshbon hanefesh (self-accounting) isn't just your negatives, but your positives too (as noted above).

​Here's a downloadable PDF of the Seder Hitbodedut (specially formatted to fit on 1 page at a glance or to print out):​

Before this blog continues with discussions & insights into Rav Itamar Schwartz's Q&A on Coronavirus, it's important to address what people CAN do to manage the effects of the coronavirus pandemic.

(Otherwise, the whole thing can turn into an overwhelming fear-mongering dynamic, which is pointless. The entire purpose of fear is not crushing despair or paralyzing anxiety, but self-improvement via awareness of Hashem.) 

On pages 32-34 & 44 & 103 of the Q&A, Rav Schwartz discusses the response and the "remedy" for coronavirus.

It has to do with self-nullification, which I stated before I'm not qualified to go into that. However, it's imperative to mention the basic idea of self-nullification: One should strive to internalize the fundamental idea of "Ein od milvado — There is nothing but Him."

And while in today's world of self-promotion and self-esteem, the very idea of self-nullification seems offensive or even frightening, a person who achieves true self-nullification experiences freedom & happiness on a level impossible to otherwise comprehend.

We see this among our tzaddikim who achieved this level, like Rav Aryeh Levin, a person who was wholly selfless and truly happy & content.

Self-nullification occurs when one wholly bonds to & unites with Hashem with no interference of cognitive dissonance or ego.

Self-nullification doesn't cause you to lose yourself.

On the contrary, self-nullification enables you to discover & fulfill the real you — the pristine neshamah residing within you.

Halevai I was on that level & could actually know what I'm talking about!

But that's the basic definition as written in books & exemplified by tzaddikim who reached that level.

According to Rav Schwartz, one can fight coronavirus via mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice).

Different types & levels of mesirut nefesh exist.

One way is physical death.

But another (and more appealing) way is on the spiritual, nefesh level.

When you break your middot, you kill off your bad middot.

​This is a wonderful thing!

Because we feel attached to our bad middot & taavot (desires), letting go of them causes pain.

Some people even define themselves by their bad middot or taavot.

For example, some people pride themselves on their sharp tongue (they call it "clever") or their insistence on always getting their way ("being assertive," "nobody's doormat," "never a sucker," "I don't take dirt from anyone," "nobody messes with me!").

Some pride themselves on their ability to control others, whether it's a classroom, an office, or their home.

I knew someone who prided himself on being an innate (and successful) businessman. However, he sunk to manipulative & exploitative behavior to maintain his self-image as "Benjy the Businessman!" 

It took me a while to see that he wasn't a bad person, but his commitment to his self-image as "A Businessman" led him to behave with less compassion or integrity in business situations — behavior he took pride in.

Yet in other situations, he could behave with a lot of compassion and fairness.

But think of how hard it is for someone like him to relinquish his commitment to winning in business when his entire self-image depends on that.

It's a kind of death because he needs to let go of his pretend "self," which feels very real to him.

And the transition phase feels like a hermit crab switching from one shell to another: horribly vulnerable & desperate.

But completing the transition phase brings increased emotional maturity, wisdom, and satisfaction.

So it eventually feels good, but yeah, the transition phase is a wringer.

Breaking taavot also demands mesirut nefesh & feels like a type of death.

For people addicted to alcohol or drugs, dealing with problems by facing them head on is torture.

In fact, getting out of bed in the morning or facing the upcoming weekend with no high or drunkenness to look forward to often depresses the addict. (That's why treatment programs encourage them to take it one day at a time.)

Life initially feels blah without the hit people get from watching their favorite show/movie/podcast, smoking a cigarette, eating their comfort foods, reading their favorite non-kosher novels, social media, listening to their favorite non-kosher music, mixed dancing, unwholesome relationships, "juicy" gossip, or whatever is their taavah of choice. 

So for such a person to think they'll never engage in a certain act or have that thing again...it's unbearable.

In fact, they often describe the desire for that which they deny themselves as: "It's killing me."

Mesirut nefesh.

If it helps, the Pele Yoetz recommends relating to the pain of the unfulfilled taavah (specifically alcoholism) as a kaparah (atonement) for all the damage & transgressions caused while indulging in that taavah.

This puts a positive & beneficial spin on the pain of NOT getting what you crave.

In other words, the pain is l'to'elet; it is useful & rectifying. It has meaning & purpose.

Immediately after a shiur to a group of frum women regarding halachically appropriate shaitels, a woman approached the rebbetzin and asked her how she should change her own shaitel.

The shaitel in question comprised 100% human hair & hung down to the wearer's waist.

The rebbetzin thought for a moment, then said, "Cut off 2 inches, then get back to me in a month and tell me how it went."

The woman thanked the rebbetzin, then went on her way.

My friend, a very unmaterialistic person who lives an especially simple life in Eretz Yisrael, witnessed the exchange in astonishment.

She asked the rebbetzin why only 2 inches? To my friend, that seemed insignificant. After all, even at 2 inches shorter, the shaitel remained far from tsniyus.

But the wise rebbetzin explained that a woman willing to invest in such a shaitel obviously felt very attached to that particular shaitel.

The woman also showed tremendous sincerity in that after hearing only a little mussar on the topic, she immediately sought to improve herself in this area. And the woman's question was open-ended. Notice that she did not ask whether she should do this or that, but she simply asked what she should, making herself vulnerable to a big & possibly overwhelming change.

That's sincerity.

If you think about it, the rebbetzin showed excellent judgement.

These types of shaitels cost more than a used car.

Women who invest so much money in such a shaitel also invested their hearts in the length, style, and color.

There is a very real emotional attachment to THAT particular shaitel in all its details.

Furthermore, if the woman made a drastic change in her shaitel, her family & friends will certainly respond and usually the response won't be one of praise & encouragement, but of discouragement. (Particularly if her husband likes her in the untsniyus shaitel and especially if his ego depends on having a trophy wife — which is a VERY un-Jewish attitude in marriage — and a husband's criticism of her appearance is a bitter pill to swallow.)

For most people, it's too much to ask of them to change their identity & self-image to that point (meaning, if the woman would cut her shaitel to above her shoulders, for example) AND the discouraging responses she's likely to receive from others.

It could cause her to give up completely. (Like selling the newly vamped shaitel and buying a new one with the old waist-length again.)

In addition, a human-hair waist-length shaitel has issues other than length. These types of shaitels look way too realistic & alluring from the front too.

Yet the rebbetzin only focused on one aspect of the shaitel: its length.

And she had the woman start with just 2 inches.

So for that woman, this is big-time mesirut nefesh. Hopefully, she continued on her journey toward a more dignified & refined hair-covering.

However...

What of the woman who already wears a shaitel that conforms to all opinions of tsniyus (of those who permit shaitels)?

If she would look at the above situation superficially, she would go out & buy a custom shaitel that comes down to 2 inches above her waist and say, "I'm being mosser nefesh too!"

But for the one already wearing a refined & dignified shaitel, buying a nearly waist-length shaitel would be a HUGE step backwards!

It's a yeridah, not mesirut nefesh at all.

So we see that these things are individual.

We cannot copy the mesirut nefesh of others.

​We must find our own.

On pages 17-21 & 44, Rav Schwartz discusses practical suggestions for teshuvah (a form of mesirut nefesh).

​Intensifying & deepening prayer is one strong recommendation.

As we've seen from Rav Avigdor Miller & others, focusing on one aspect of Shemoneh Esrei (like saying "Baruch...magen Avraham" with total kavanah and/or feeling a pang in your heart when you recite the prayer for the Beit HaMikdash) is an excellent way to start.

Bonding with Hashem even for only a few minutes every day is excellent. (Yes, 30-60 minutes is ideal, he says, but a few minutes is also very good.) Regarding time spent with Hashem: QUALITY is more important than quantity — especially now. (You can see this guidance on page 44.)

Our focus now is getting real.

Refraining from any type of lashon hara takes a lot of self-control. Depending on the situation & your own personal impulses, NOT saying something can feel almost physically painful.

And therefore, you receive FABULOUS reward for this restraint.

The only reason you restrain your mouth is for Hashem.

​And that's such a beautiful thing.

Forgiving someone is also very powerful (both Rav Kanievsky & Rav Gedalyah Edelstein recommended releasing grudges in the coronavirus era).

Our reasons for holding tight to grudges & resentments can go very deep.

Working through this causes pain. (How much depends on the depth of hurt & anger & damage caused by the object of your resentment.)

​Forgiveness makes you into a different person than you were before.

Forgiveness does not mean whitewashing truly bad behavior.

If someone intentionally & intensively hurt you, that is not so forgivable, practically speaking. After all, the person MEANT to hurt you and feels NO remorse. Maybe they're even happy about it.

Forgiveness in that case means connecting to the idea of emunah, that everything comes from Hashem.

That awful person was the agent for something you needed to go through for the rectification of your soul.

You don't pretend the person or the actions were okay. They weren't.

But you let go because you realize Hashem was behind the entire disaster and there is somehow in some unfathomable way a benefit.

I'm the first to admit this is much easier said than done.

But any step forward you can make in this area is a form of mesirut nefesh & very powerful.

Gratitude remains an essential component of mesirut nefesh & teshuvah.

Noting your spiritual progress & also feeling grateful for aspects of your life foster feelings of happiness & contentment.

Even if you can't manage to feel wholly happy & content, saying "thank You" to Hashem still increases happiness & contentment.

Even if you can't achieve a wholly positive state, a smidgen of positive feeling is a million times better than none.

On pages 18-19 & 84, Rav Schwartz emphasizes we must NOT daven for the world to return back to "normal."

That would be worse.

We should daven that coronavirus is uprooted BECAUSE everyone returns to Hashem and develop a warm & genuine connection with Hashem & our fellow human beings.

​So we daven for a global return to Hashem & genuine connection with Him & other people.

We daven for the light of Redemption to illuminate all souls and we daven that a global healing is activated by kedushah (holiness) overcoming tumah (spiritual blockage/impurity).​

Rav Avigdor Miller repeatedly stresses the importance of NOT sharing your baby-steps with others.

Unless the other person is spiritually aware, they often discourage or mock you for your efforts.

This can ruin everything.

This caution contradicts the newest generation, in which every little thing you do needs to be photographed and advertised on Instagram.

​Of course, you can share your baby steps (or your grandest efforts) with another person, but only if that person will recognize your individual need for this particular type of mesirut nefesh, and will validate your efforts.

​Many times, your efforts will be between you & Hashem.

And that's perfectly fine.

​You're making Hashem supremely happy & that's all that matters.

It bears repeating this idea again: One drop matters.

Drop after drop fills a lake.

Drop after drop erodes stone.

On page 32, Rav Schwartz reassures us that person can activate a little bit of mesirut nefesh by working on just one area, as long as it is an area on which one needs to work.

Mesirut nefesh is channeling the power of death in a holy direction.

Rather than destroying your body, you destroy your unhealthy ego and bad middot.

You destroy the tumah blocking you from being your best — the wonderful person you really are underneath all the spiritual blockage.

By taking only 1 thing each day — something you personally find difficult — and working on that, you achieve a form of mesirut nefesh.

That's Rav Schwartz's practical advice.

On the emotional inner level, Rav Schwartz recommends cutting oneself off from everything that's happening in the world. He encourages a feeling of separation from the entire world.

He emphasizes doing this "deeply," which I think means not only that you stop checking the news or social media, but that you make yourself realize how meaningless much of it is so that you don't even WANT to see the podcast of your favorite political commentator or check your social media account every 5 minutes.

It's important not to misunderstand this.

He means the world & all the distractions & fake news.

He does not mean to stop davening for people or to ignore pleas for verified tzedakah campaigns.

We still need to look both ways before we cross the street and cultivate warm, caring connections with others.

We should concern ourselves with the genuine emotional & material needs of those around us.

But many things portrayed as A Very Big Deal do not actually matter. It's sheker.

Ultimately, in comes down to:
​

• Focus on mesirut nefesh & self-nullification
• Start small: Pick ONE thing in ONE area YOU find challenging.
• Make it individual; Hashem created you unique with unique needs.
• Daven for the right things: Redemption, Divine Illumination, the victory of kedushah over tumah, etc.
• Do not daven for things to return to normal. (What we consider "normal" is actually sick & warped.) 
• ​Try to cut off & distance yourself from the world as much as you can.
• Aim for real inner change (though only practical behavioral change is also really good).

May Hashem grant us all tremendous hatzlacha & bracha in our spiritual endeavors!

Related posts:

• ​What's Stopping You from Making Real Change?
• Pele Yoetz: Even the Smallest Acts Count beyond Measure!​
• ​​The Causes and Treatment of Soul-Sickness (AKA The Kli Yakar on Parshat Beshalach – with Advice on Addiction from the Pele Yoetz)

A couple of weeks ago, a delightful reader sent me the latest English translation of Rav Itamar Schwartz's Q&A regarding these Corona Times.

You can read/download it here:
Bilvavi.Corona.Q.and.A.pdf

And WOW — truly amazing & beneficial insights abound. 

It has been simmering in my mind since I read it.

There's a lot to say about it, but it was Rav Schwartz's discussion of masks that hit me between the eyes.

As regular readers know, I've been rather cynical about the whole effectiveness of face masks.

Why? Because:

• People aren't wearing effective masks (my understanding is that only the N95 masks really protect others from your germs).

 

• People do not wear the masks effectively (i.e., there are all sorts of gaps around the mask, the pores are bigger than the coronavirus, etc.).

 

• People are not using the masks hygienically with regard to themselves or others. (More on that later below.)

 

• People receive no instruction on removing the masks sterilely and therefore, do not remove them without the risk of infecting themselves & others.

 

• In general, you cannot trust people to follow hygiene properly. Even hospitals unintentionally infect & sometimes kill their patients via laxness in hygienic practices.

Yes, it's true: Even hospitals accidentally infect & even kill their patients via laxness by hospital staff in hygienic practices.

1 in 31 hospital patients suffer at least one healthcare related infection (CDC).

In Europe, it's 1 in 20 (source).

Another study found that staff at the University of Arizona Medical Center washed their hands 90% of the time.

Even with the problems carrying out that study (people perform better when they know they're watched), I really don't understand why it's not 100%. I soap-wash my hands automatically at home after touching just raw meat or fish, and all sorts of other reasons (without being OCD about it, BTW) — all the more so, if I worked with sick & vulnerable people.

Also, when I volunteered at an American hospital, they emphasized exactly how long to wash hands (for the time it takes to sing Yankee Doodle), exactly how to do so, and emphasizing that wiping hands with clean paper towels removes even more germs after the hand-washing.

And they emphasized how important hand-washing is overall.

So why only 90%, especially after such training & explanation?

Also, as stated above, the data collection is iffy because when people know they're being observed, they perform better.

A study from the Greenville Healthcare System in South Carolina used secret cameras & discovered hand-washing compliance as low as 54%.

​Worldwide, only 40% of doctors & nurses wash their hands as they should. (source)

In Australia, 64-84.7% of doctors & nurses wash their hands as they should. (source)

This is despite the availability of hand-cleaning equipment, posted reminders, their training, and their knowledge.

And these are your trained medical professionals.

All the more so, your average non-medical professional will be lax.

Likewise, with masks.

​You cannot trust people to wear masks properly.

And if you look around to see what masks people are wearing, whether they're wearing them effectively, and if you have any idea how much people are reusing masks WITHOUT washing or sunning them to kill germs, then you know that many people are NOT wearing their masks effectively.

And just for knowing, I came across studies in which a minority of surgeons refuse to wear masks during surgery because they felt it endangered the procedure due to feeling faint & not being able to see well (source). 

(This study clearly contradicts what many doctors in the media, including the frum media, say.)

So...yeah.

Furthermore, I sometimes experience severe breathing shortage & MUST remove the mask, especially after climbing stairs outside.

If I have the wire closed properly over the bridge of my nose, I absolutely cannot breathe enough.

So I don't close the wire. Instead, my vision is impaired.

And that's my major & unexpected problem with the masks: the inability to see properly.

The mask hampers my lower visual perception, which affects crossing the street & other aspects of daily life.

For example, I take my 5-year-old on the bus to school.

To keep track of him, I need to bend my neck all the way down to see him over the mask, which then hampers my peripheral vision of other things or people around me.

You can pooh-pooh it if you want, but managing on a crowded bus with my child, other people's children & strollers (which demand both lower visual perception & side visual perception) has become very stressful because looking straight down at a 90-degree angle prevents me from seeing properly anything to the side (and makes it even harder to breathe, incidentally).

At one point, I even sat down right on the leg of a 7-year-old (who had his leg on the seat to save it for his big brother) because I did not see his leg.

Yes, of course I saw the child and I DID look to see if anyone was sitting next to him!

​I did!

However, I did not bend my head so that my chin was touching my collarbone, which is what I needed to do to see the actual seat upon which lay the child's leg.

(Fortunately, he was more startled than hurt and very nicely forgave me.)
​
Mask-free, you can see all around you just by tipping & swiveling your head slightly. 

But with a mask covering your nose, you need to make exaggerated motions, which allow you to see only a limited area at a time.

Furthermore, studies involving surgeons & other healthcare professionals show that wearing masks for prolonged periods cause:

• "significantly different temperatures and humidity in the microclimates of facemasks, which have profound influences on heart rate and thermal stress and subjective perception of discomfort." (source)

​

• headaches (source)

 

• rash (ibid)

 

• impaired cognition (ibid)

In Israel, bus drivers must wear masks, but I noticed that many do not cover their nose, which is smart because bus drivers certainly need their lower visual perception!

So why do I wear a mask?

I wear a mask because:

• I don't enjoy confrontations with police & the resulting fines.

 

• Several very big rabbis said to follow these guidelines, and some even used very strong language against those who feel differently. (More on that in a minute.)

 

• ​I know a lot of people feel distressed around someone who isn't wearing a mask.

(They are uninformed OR they know people who suffered complications/death from COVID-19, so the threat feels very real OR they suffer understandable anxiety about the whole situation in general.)

• I can talk to Hashem outside in public without anyone knowing because no one can see my mouth moving.

Now let's look at why many rabbis insist on masks, even to the point of using very strong language (as if the masks really do save lives), despite the facts on the ground.

​Most rabbis get their medical information from highly reputed doctors.

​That sounds logical & responsible, right?

Many rabbis do not read medical abstracts (like the ones sourced in this post). Instead, they rely on trusted physicians to inform them.

And this sounds like a very reasonable short-cut to acquiring impeccable information, right?

After all, these doctors are shomrei Torah & mitzvot, have likely displayed their integrity by performing chessed for people in the community, and are top-notch professionals in their area.

Again, it's a very logical & responsible short-cut. 

But doctors are people too & may be out of touch or lack certain facts or lack sensitivity.

For example, I've read a couple of interviews with frum doctors who act like wearing a mask is no big deal.

"I wear one all the time!" is one phrase that pops out. "For years!"

The ones promoted in the media express discomfort regarding masks (except the problem of glasses steaming up) — despite the evidence presented in the study above, which shows that surgeons clearly experience discomfort & physical symptoms while wearing a mask.

And they aren't moving around much in surgery.

Also, doctors are not typically on their feet outside maneuvering streets, stairs, and buses in the summer heat surrounded by small children, strollers, and shopping bags.

They go from air-conditioned homes to air-conditioned cars to air-conditioned work environments and back again.

Inside, they can take elevators instead of stairs while wearing a mask.

And unless they're working the ER at a very busy time, they probably aren't wearing a mask while pressed in a crowd of people (and trying to manage a small child).

Yet according to the above studies, doctors & nurses DO experience discomfort and even problematic HEALTH issues while wearing masks — something these media-promoted doctors either deny or omit.

And even in these controlled environments, a survey of nurses DID complain of breathing & communication difficulties, nausea, and visual challenges (source).

​One nurse even withdrew from the study because she could not tolerate wearing the mask after only 30 minutes — and she wasn't on a crowded bus or climbing stairs in the heat.

That right there should pull the rug out from under all the doctors who boast "IIIIIIIIIIII wear the ask aaaaall the time with nooooo problem — so you should too!"

We're all different with different physiology.

Obviously, one nurse could not tolerate the mask for more than 30 minutes while others could manage (uncomfortably) for hours.

To better understand the "we're all different" theme, let's look at the people who care for the elderly, which also entails changing adult diapers.

They do this all day every day.

Does that mean you or I could do that job?

If elderly care-takers said, "Well, I do it all the time, so that means you can too," would that be an appropriate or convincing argument for all of us to take on the task of changing adult diapers?

(And it distresses me to see 7- or 8-year-olds on the bus wearing these masks. They don't look well & it's obviously unhealthy for them. I really question both the compassion & the seichel of the people who decided that such young children must wear these things for so long.)

Furthermore, do doctors really NOT know that people are NOT wearing the proper masks AND not wearing them properly? 

Oddly, it seems most doctors do not know this.

​Some do know, but many apparently don't.

Do they really not know that the average person is not & will not be hygiene-compliant about masks?

I mean, they know that in their own work environments, the rules of hygiene are not followed nearly as well as they should. So why would they assume than an untrained & less knowledgeable population would do any better?

For example, all those cloth masks (with iffy effectiveness, considering the tiny size of the coronavirus): Do doctors think they are being sanitized properly after EACH use?

They're NOT being sanitized.

They're really not!

Even when told about germs and the whole shebang, a lot of people either refuse or forget to wash or sun their spiffy logo mask after each use. Or even after 20 uses.

(Yuck, I know.)

The same is true for those standard-issue blue-white masks.

People repeatedly re-use them without cleaning them.

Back to the doctors: I do not think these doctors are KNOWINGLY dishonest.

But for whatever reason, they seem completely unaware of the facts on the ground.

And so, with good intentions combined with a serious a lack of awareness, they advise their rabbis in the way that they do.

And if you're wondering why I'm listening to the rabbis who are listening to these doctors whom I consider out of touch, it's because it's min haShamayim that these doctors are saying what they do & that these rabbis are listening to davka these doctors.

​As you'll see below, Hashem could provide them with a different message if He wanted.

And indeed, some rabbanim receive a different message.

For example, a caring reader sent me a link to a psak from the Shaarei Shalom Beit Din in Beit Shemesh signed by Rav Pinchas Shapira and Rav Yisroel Meir Veil. Therein, they mentioned "numerous testimonies" brought before them, which show that wearing a face mask "is not at all necessary from a medical standpoint; it's hevel v'tohu (meaningless)." (source)

And at this point, you are probably legitimately wondering what this all has to do with Rav Schwartz's latest PDF...

If you turn to page 106 in the Bilvavi Corona PDF, you'll see a question with the assumption that people not wearing masks are doing so for spiritual reasons.

Yet Rav Schwartz immediately answers...no.

For most of the non-mask-wearers, it has nothing to do with one's spiritual level.

The non-compliant people are simply aware of OTHER medical opinions.

That's what the rav says.

Also, he acknowledges: "...health experts disagree" — exactly!

Rav Schwartz is one of the very few I've heard acknowledge this.

​(Please also note that this PDF came out before the psak din and some questions were dealt with as much as a month or 2 ago, going on the information available back then.)

​I've no idea how Rav Schwartz knows that health experts disagree, whether he consulted with the right people or acquired the abstracts of key studies.

​Either way, he clearly has access to accurate information.

Then the rav emphasizes the importance of not distressing others. It's true.

Some people who are understandably very distressed when people do not wear masks around them.

(Even though, as described above, people are both not wearing effective masks & not using them hygienically.)

It's important to be considerate of people's feelings. Rav Miller explained this at length in his dvar Torah regarding ona'at devarim.

And as explained above, Rav Schwartz acknowledges that "wearing a mask is both helpful and detrimental."

​He knows! He knows!

He also adds (underline mine): 
"If a person is careful when it comes to hygiene and he makes sure to keep changing the mask for a new one, then wearing a mask is very helpful, especially in a quarantined section."

He further notes that the real issue of a mask is to avoid infecting others (something not understood by many people initially), and that we must not be holy or clever on the cheshbon of others.

It's true that in a group situation, wearing a fresh non-valve N95 mask PROPERLY will make the environment safer for others.

(Most people either won't or can't, but if they would & could, then it's true.)

The emphasis being on OTHERS, since as demonstrated above, wearing a mask harms the wearer, especially while going about daily life.

​(And as shown above, it also harms small children when adults can't see where they're sitting, and plop themselves down on the leg of an innocent child.)

Everything the rav said showed real awareness of facts on the ground (like how people are re-using masks and not being careful with hygiene).

On page 110, Rav Schwartz notes the importance of paying attention to experts' guidelines and following them on a halachic level.

Real experts are people who actually know what they are talking about.

Rav Schwartz also does not advise following government rules blindly.

For example, on page 111, Rav Schwartz replies to such a question by saying, "​We would need to clarify how much of a risk of danger there is, and accordingly we can then know how we should act halachically."

What I really appreciate and benefit so much from Rav Schwartz is his focus on deliberation and consideration.

There is no knee-jerk response here. There's no fear.

Somehow, he has made himself aware of the actual facts.

And halacha is premier.

Furthermore, on page 16, Rav Schwartz provides an intriguing spiritual insight into the decree of wearing masks (which though imposed on us by authorities of questionable character, it originates from Above):
​

• The mask reminds us of the Sin of the Golden Calf (the basis of which still affects us today & needs to be rectified).

 

• By covering the mouth & the nose, the mask hints at the state of This World being covered over in preparation for revelation of the Next World.

B'ezrat Hashem, I'll be discussing other issues mentioned in this PDF.

Also, the PDF shows how the people associated with Rav Schwartz ask such good questions, questions that are on all our minds, and questions that show genuine awareness of "facts on the ground."

And there are so many pertinent points to learn from Rav Schwartz, plus points for doing teshuvah.

A big yashar koach to Bilvavi.

​Here's an amazing video-audio clip with powerful words from Rav Avigdor Miller:
https://torasavigdor.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Nine-Days-Video.mp4

Here are past posts related to Tisha B'Av & the Nine Days (with excerpts of the beginning of each post):