Category: The Lost Princess

How to Achieve Bitachon in 3 Steps

19/6/2018

In his inspiring book, Ahavat Kedumim (A Commentary on The Lost Princess), Rav Ofer Erez, explains how to acquire bitachon -- trust in God.
(Or, as Rav Avigdor Miller summed it up in one sentence: "Bitachon means to say that Hashem knows what's best for us -- that's all." Tape E-216, December 1999.)

(The following applies to the part of this profoundly allegorical story in which the giant appointed over the winds gifts the viceroy a magic vessel that contains unlimited funds; this "magic" vessel symbolizes bitchon.)

Building bitachon is a life-long process, but whatever progress you can manage is really, really good and these 3 steps can give you concrete tools on how to advance in this area.

On pages 244-250, Rav Erez explains how bitachon is built from 3 steps:

Step 1: Accepting that everything is orchestrated by Hashem using precise individual supervision, with this acceptance ideally leading a person to accept even challenging events with humility and submission.

Note: Humility and submission to human beings is negative. It leads to co-dependence and masochism. But with Hashem, it only leads to personal greatness and a sweetening of judgement (even if that personal greatness and sweetening are not yet perceivable).

Step 2: Accepting that everything is for our benefit, with this acceptance ideally leading us to accept events with love and gratitude.

Note: This is very, very difficult when going through an agonizing experience. People who've been through very painful episodes in life may even feel outraged when faced with this concept. That's normal and the only book I know that addresses this issue head-on is Garden of Emuna, with Garden of Gratitude as its follow-up for this topic. Likewise, it's also perfectly normal to have ups and downs, veering between feeling outraged or resentful and feeling accepting & grateful.

Step 3: Accepting events with joy by knowing there is no "bad" in the world; everything is a message from Hashem to come closer to Him.

Note: Obviously, there ARE events we perceive as bad or appalling or tragic. Likewise, Judaism does not have us hold a party when someone dies, but insists on a week of intense mourning, followed by another 3 weeks of mourning, with Tisha B'Av as an entire day of national mourning and grief. At the same time, there is a concept in Chazal that in the World to Come, the blessing we currently make over good things (Baruch Hatov v'Hameitiv), will be made over the bad things too because in the light of Truth, we'll see clearly how even the harsh and heartrending events were really for our benefit.

This is yet another example of paradox in Judaism, and one with which many people understandably struggle.

Rav Erez goes on to say:

"Within the third step, a person doesn't just subdue his will, he starts to accept b'simcha whatever passes over him. When a person accepts scorn and breaks out in dance, when a person receives troubling news and he claps his hands to sweeten the judgements, when things occur beyond his understanding and he breaks out in melody and dance for Hashem and he cries out, 'I don't understand anything. But, Abba, thank You for concerning Yourself with me; this is certainly coming from great love' -- a tremendous light extends over the person, the light of complete bitachon. This is the light of humility and holy joy."

(Naturally, when saying it yourself, you can replace "Abba" with "Daddy" or "Tatty" or "Papa.")

And again, it's perfectly normal to achieve this level for one moment, then feel discouraged or bitter an hour later, and then to reach this level a couple of hours or moments after that.

It can even be a roller-coaster ride of days, weeks, or years.

This is the challenge and spirit of our generation.

The main thing is to at least try at whatever level you're on.

Depending on what each person has suffered in life and depending on individual personalities, some people find this much more difficult than others. That's normal.

The main thing is just to try.
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Related links:
Rav Ofer Erez in English
For more about the phenomena of spiritually and emotionally soaring and plummeting, even several times within a day, please see his series on Spiritual Bipolar Disorder.
Garden of Emuna (for Jews)
The Universal Garden of Emuna (non-denominational for non-Jews)
Note: I have not personally read this book, but recommend it on the strength of Rav Arush's other books, which I have read and found exceptional.
Garden of Gratitude
Note: This book is amazing, but if I hadn't read Garden of Emuna first, I would've found Garden of Gratitude too "strong" and not gotten out of it what I should. But everyone's different, so go with whatever you perceive as best for you.

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Using the 4 Elements for Self-Awareness & Self-Improvement

18/6/2018

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In his wonderful book, Ahavat Kedumim (A Commentary on The Lost Princess), Rav Ofer Erez discusses a concept you've likely heard of: the 4 Elements and how they affect you.

This is a way to understand your nature, what's motivating you, and how to cultivate the positive expressions of some pretty negative roots.

In other words, Rav Erez's description of this system leads to greater self-awareness and shows how you can use this knowledge for self-transformation, to get from Point A to Point B.

The 4 elements are:

fire
air
water
earth

If you can manage the Hebrew (or if the book hopefully gets translated into the language of your choice), the discussion is found on pages 85-86 and is connected to the part of the story in which the hapless viceroy finds himself in the Palace of the "Not Good."

Each element possesses a negative root, which can then be transformed into a force for goodness and holiness.

Rav Ofer Erez also points out that each person possesses different quantities and arrangements of these 4 elements.

For example, one person may be heavy with "fire" and light with the rest. Another person may find themselves heavy with "fire" and "air," light on "water," while "earth" is nearly non-existent. Others may feel they're equally comprised of all 4 elements while another may feel that one or 2 elements stand out, but there is actually a third element setting the foundation for the others.

And so on.

So with that, here they are:

Fire

Root: Arrogance & anger

Positive expression: "Tov l'hodot l'Hashem -- It's good to thank Hashem."

Emuna
Optimism
Humility
Bitachon (trust in God)
Seeing the good in everything
Being happy with what one has
Investing spiritual efforts with enthusiasm
Wisdom combined with healthy logic
Interpreting reality correctly

Air

Root: Corrupted speech

Positive expression: "V'amcha kulam tzaddikim -- And Your Nation is comprised entirely of righteous people."

Giving the benefit of the doubt
Compassion
Loyalty
Listening
Accepting others as they really are
Precision (diyuk; I think this means avoiding statements of exaggeration and melodrama)
Minimizing the amount of talking one engages in
Holy speech for the sake of Am Yisrael
The power of tefillah
The power of private discussions with Hashem (hitbodedut)
Wisdom emanating from a higher awareness that arrives on its own

Water

Root: Earthly pleasures & envy

Positive expression: "Lev basar -- a heart of flesh," "Lev tahor bara li Elokim -- "O Lord, create within me a pure heart."

Love
Caring
Warmth
Protectiveness
Innocence
Giving of oneself
Doing things for others
Being satisfied with little
Spiritual pleasure
Love of learning
The ability to delve deeply into practical knowledge
Taking an interest in all subject matters

Earth

Root: Indolence, laziness, heaviness

Positive expression: "L'hiot b'simcha tamid -- to always be in a state of joy."

Joy
Happiness
Energy
Vitality
Nimbleness
Reassurance
Yielding (vatranut)
The ability to rejoice
The ability to become healed
The ability to recover good health
The ability to cause others to blossom
The ability to revitalize others
Stability
Perseverance
Alacrity in both practical and spiritual matters
Emotional intelligence
A high level of psychological wisdom
Awareness of others' psychological state

You can muse over the above in your head, use it in a freewrite or mind map, or paint it out, and talk it over with Hashem (or all of the above).

Another valuable insight this provides is it demonstrates how hard it is to give advice and find the right kind of adviser. A person working on her "fire" aspect can easily give the wrong advice and direction to someone who desperately needs to focus on her "water" aspect.

As another example, we see that in its highest form, the "earth" aspect is a kind of spiritual coach who facilitates healing and growth in others, while the "air" aspect is very interactive, listening and speaking constructively either with people or with Hashem.

Both the adviser and the one receiving the advice need to be aware of well-meaning yet misleading guidance.

Having said, it's certainly true that everyone needs to work on, say, the trait of humility. But a "fire" personality will face a different and thornier struggle than the "earth" personality.

Conversely, everyone needs to work on the trait of zerizut (doing good things with alacrity and not wasting time), but the zerizut-challenged "earth" personality will face a different and thornier struggle than that of the "fire" personality, who is already zariz, but simply needs to infuse the zerizut with enthusiasm and gratitude rather than self-righteousness and anger.
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May we all succeed in completing our tikkun in this lifetime without trials or humiliations.

Related links:
Rav Ofer Erez in English

The 4 Elements Together in Nature

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How to Find the Voice of Your Neshamah

17/6/2018

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In his wonderful book, Ahavat Kedumim (A Commentary on The Lost Princess), Rav Ofer Erez emphasizes the importance of listening to the voice of the neshamah, the level of soul that is purest and most in touch with God.

To briefly digress, he also discusses other parts of the soul, such as the nefesh and the ruach.

Nefesh
The nefesh is the source of all cravings and desires -- taavos.
It's split into two parts:

The animal soul (nefesh habeheima), which craves eating, drinking, material gain, and illicit relationships
The Godly soul (nefesh haElokit), which craves the truly good things, like closeness with Hashem, Torah study, and self-improvement

Ruach
The ruach lies between the neshamah and the nefesh. It's all about feelings and emotions. Sometimes these are spiritually elevated feelings and sometimes these are lowly petty emotions.
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Despite the immense pull of the ruach and nefesh, it's vitally important to listen to the quiet, thin voice of the neshamah.

Doing so gives us good ruach and elevates the nefesh habeheima to the nefesh haElokit.

So what are the basic principles for discerning the voice of the neshamah?

Discerning the Voice of the Neshamah

If the advice, thought, or idea you receive does the following:

Fills you with joy
Brings you closer to Hashem

...then it's come from a good place, a place of holiness.

However, if the advice, thought, or idea you receive SOUNDS good, yet does the following:

Fills you with dread or sadness or depression
Ultimately causes you to grow distant from God
Ultimately causes you do refrain from doing good

...then it's a sign that this originates from a klippah (a negative spiritual shell which hides or entraps positive spirituality), which has come to distance you from Hashem via all sorts of chachamot, all sorts rationalizations.

Good or Bad? Feeling & Being

We see from the above the combination of both feeling good AND being good are important.

For example, you may fill up with joy when you receive an entire chocolate cheesecake for yourself, or when you commit an act of revenge, or when you snipe at someone, or when you write a particularly scathing letter to the editor...but do you feel closer to God with these acts?

Likely not. (Unless your god is something else, chas v'shalom).

By the way, it's normal to feel more than one feeling. For example, you might be excited to carry out a good deed, but you might feel anxious too. It depends.

Conversely, you might learn of the importance of a particular mitzvah or custom, but the thought of doing it fills you with dread and heaviness -- or panic and anxiety. You start to feel resentful of the obligations God "yokes" on you.

Also, perhaps you start off well, but then the new direction leads you into doing things that aren't good and leave you feeling far from Hashem (if you think about Hashem at all in such a situation). For example, maybe you start feeling harsh, superior, controlling, enraged, useless, or violent. Or you start cheating, lying, or spending too much time with the opposite gender when you aren't married to him/her, and so forth.

(God forbid.)

It's not that you shouldn't ever push yourself, but maybe you're more excited about hosting hippies for Shabbat than you are about cooking a meal for a woman after birth? Or maybe it's the other way around -- you love cooking for the sick and their families, but hosting people stresses you out and while preparing for guests, you find yourself yelling at your family and hating yourself?

Maybe Hashem wants you to do something else.

Yes, it can be difficult to figure things out when other voices are so strong. There are lots of good ideas. But are they right for YOU?

Again, looking over some of the last few posts:
Was Sara Imeinu supposed to be a Rivka Imeinu?
Was Rivka Imeinu supposed to be a Sara Imeinu?
Was Chana supposed to be Devorah Haneviah or vice versa?

No, no, and no.

They all did good things, very powerfully and resoundingly good things.

But they didn't do the same things.

So to sum up:

The klippah's voice:

Fills you with dread or sadness
Ultimately causes you to grow distant from God
Ultimately causes you do refrain from doing good

The neshamah's voice:

Fills you with joy
Brings you closer to Hashem

What is the thin, quiet voice of your neshamah saying to you?
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Posts mentioned within:
Rav Ofer Erez in English
Why a Leah Imeinu Can't (and Shouldn't) be a Sara Imeinu
The Overlooked Prophetess: Chana
Tanach: The Garden of Role Models

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Knocked Down Off Your Feet Yet Again? What You & Mashiach Have in Common

6/6/2018

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In Rav Ofer Erez's phenomenal book Ahavat Kedumim, a commentary on Rebbe Nachman's story of The Lost Princess, the following appears on page 227:

It is written in the Gemara Sanhedrin that Mashiach is called "Bar Nafli."

What is the meaning of "Bar Nafli"?

The meaning is ben nefilot [a son of repeated falls], one who falls.

That's what they call Mashiach.

The commentators ask: Why do the call him Ben Nefilot [a son of repeated falls]? What kind of a name are they giving Mashiach?

One of the great mekubalim wrote a book called Pitchei Shaarim. And there he explains that Mashiach is called Bar Nafli because he constantly wants to bring the Redemption, and The Holy One Blessed Be He casts him down and says to him:
"The time has not yet come. There is still a Jew who has not yet merited."

The Holy One Blessed Be He sent Mashiach to the entrance of Rome. And there, Mashich undergoes very great falls. He constantly wants to bring the Redemption, but The Holy One Blessed Be He doesn't let him.

The Holy One Blessed Be He is waiting for every single Jew to return to Him out of love in order to fulfill [Shmuel II 14:14] "he that is banished may not be banished from Him."

The tikkun is to transform the animal soul to a Godly soul via the powers of emotion emanating from the human spirit.

Note #1: "Rome" is an allegorical reference to Western culture today, the societies that originated in Europe -- such as North America, Europe, Scandinavia, and the European-based societies of Africa and Oceania.

Note #2:The Hebrew word used above is mapil (מפיל). It literally means "cause to fall" and is often translated as "casts down" or "pushes down" or "knocks down."
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A lot of people feel rejected by God.

A lot of people feel like no matter how hard they try and no matter how hard they want things that are actually GOOD to want, God not only blocks them; He actively pushes them back or knocks them off their feet.

Yet the Gemara clearly tells us that this forced falling-down is a classic aspect of Mashiach!

Mashiach is going through the exact same experience as you.

I don't know all the reasons why or the deep mystical significance of the whole dynamic (other than that mentioned above: Hashem is braking the Geula process out of His Great Love for each individual Jew, especially the ones who aren't anywhere near teshuvah yet).

But it makes me wonder whether these same people who are feeling so rejected and knocked completely off balance are davka the people with the biggest, brightest spark of Mashiach within them.

After all, another Gemara also tells us that this is an upside-down world:
Those who look great and prominent in This World are quite small in the Next.
And those who seem insignificant and small here are actually quite great and prominent in the Next World.

A candle flame isn't particularly bright or powerful. But in a corner of pure darkness, its light is significant.

Yet from a distance, its light is unnoticeable.

You can only perceive a candle's light when standing nearby.

Note: The above insights apply to the part of the story in which the princess-seeking viceroy meets the giants in the wilderness, and after much struggle and frustration, is finally informed by a latecoming wind that its delay occurred when needing to deposit the sought-after princess in a Pearl Fortress on a Mountain of Gold. And as always, this is my own translation which means that any errors are also mine.

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How to Get Up after You've Fallen Flat on Your Face

21/5/2018

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In his book, Ahavat Kedumim: A Commentary on the Story of the Lost Princess, Rav Ofer Erez writes:

It doesn't matter what happened externally. If in the same moment, we've already glued ourselves to the good and we protest against the bad and cry out to God:
"Abba [Daddy/Tatty]! I want only You!" -- then the bad deeds are canceled out.

***
You fell?

Get up.

How can you get up?

Tell God: "Abba, I am such a good neshamah [soul], how can it be that I have any tendency to get angry?" [Or whatever negative tendency you want to rid yourself of -- MR]

And the Holy One Blessed be He responds: "You're right. That wasn't you at all. Come with Me and I'll bring you to the place that's right for you."

***
Our desires [ratzonot] and yearnings [kisufim] are what truly move the creation, the entire world.

Desire [ratzon] is a very, very great act because desire is the greatest force in the creation of the world, higher than thought.

A thought is an intellectual act. It comes from the mind.

But desire, will, yearning...this is an emotional act. It comes from the heart.

The above is my translation and any errors are also mine.
The above quotations can be found on pages 90,100-101, 103.
Rav Ofer Erez's English site is HERE.

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Our Purpose in This World

18/5/2018

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In his book, Ahavat Kedumim: A Commentary on the Story of the Lost Princess, Rav Ofer Erez writes:

"The Holy Ari writes in Shaar Hagilgulim that every person who comes to the world comes for the sake of a personal and unique tikkun [rectification], and one person does not resemble another. Each person have a personal path and way to rectify and to walk for which he came to the world."

Later, Rav Erez writes:

"Rebbe Natan says: All our spiritual descents are in order to perform a 'redemption of the captives.' This means to redeem the sparks of holiness, which are very lofty spiritual forces that got lost in tumah [spiritual impurity], and in order to bring them back to holiness, we must descend to there. And then, when a person does teshuvah [repents], he brings them back together with himself."

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What is the Main Purpose of Your Existence?

22/2/2018

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Let's address a concept that has been discussed throughout Judaism for millennia.

In a previous post, Rebbe Akiva Rabinovitz was quoted by Rav Ofer Erez in Ahavat Kedumim, page 170:

"Hakadosh Baruch Hu [The Holy One Blessed Be He] holds absolutely no hakpadah [strict judgement, condemnation] against a Jewish person who possess evil traits and lusts. Hakadosh Baruch Hu does not come in accusations about this since He implanted these within him, and He brought us down here for this purpose."
***
"The hakpadah occurs when the Jewish person does not strive to seek out the path and the counsel as to how to get out of [those evil traits and lusts]."

"He brought us down here for this purpose."

In other words, our purpose in life is to possess negative qualities and then strive to rid ourselves of these negative qualities.

Having negative qualities, no matter how awful, does not actually say anything bad about you, the real you at your soul level, although other people and even self-help books may tell you that it does. Sometimes, they will even tell you with great vehemence that it definitely means something bad about you.

But it doesn't!

Why?

Because your entire purpose of existence is to possess ugly stuff within you...

...and then struggle to scrub that ugliness out of you.

Rebbe Akiva Rabinovitz wasn't just saying what he thought (although he does think this). This is found throughout Judaism. It's been written many times. He's quoting earlier Sages, not bringing down his own chiddush.

Whether your negative qualities are a result of your upbringing or environment or whether you were just born that way, Hashem implanted those qualities within you.

You are meant to have bad qualities and taavot! You're supposed to have them.

This means that you need not fear when you encounter these qualities within yourself.

Anything about you that is ugly, filthy, hateful, or mortifying was given to you by Hashem.

This means that you can just ask Hashem to take these things back!

They don't belong to you anyway.

"TAKE IT BACK HASHEM!!! I DON'T WANT IT!!!"

Seriously.

And just by doing that, you are fulfilling your primary purpose in life.

To recap:
How do you fulfill your core purpose in life?

You acknowledge to Hashem the negative qualities implanted within you.
You actively try to rid yourself of them by asking Hashem to help you do so.

We'll be going into this more in future posts, but this is the nitty-gritty of it.

Previous post: How to Get Past Toxic Shame & Apathy

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How to Get Past Toxic Shame & Apathy

18/2/2018

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Toxic shame is when you secretly know you're wrong about something, but the shame is so overwhelming you either deny you're wrong or minimize your wrongness. This process is often instinctive and unconscious.

Toxic shame can also manifest as feeling that you are secretly bad, and that even the most inconsequential mistake is a sign of this hidden badness, so you deny or try to cover up or profusely apologize for even the most insignificant imperfections. (This shame-fueled apologizing for insignificant acts often blocks a person from fixing genuinely problematic behaviors.)

Apathy is when you don't care or don't know that it's wrong. Maybe it even feels really good, maybe it even feels right.

Let's tackle toxic shame first.

Fighting the Fumes of Toxic Shame

Getting past what's colloquially known as "toxic shame" is vital for any kind of self-improvement.

The only way to do so is to realize that any bad stuff found within you was put there by Hashem Himself.

You don't need to feel like your negative qualities and tendencies reflect on the real you.

Your negative qualities and tendencies do NOT reflect on the real you.

Many (maybe even most) people feel like their negative stuff is the real them. This means they think that when they are down, exhausted, overwhelmed, or in any kind of negative situation, then their negative reactions are the real them coming to fore.

Meaning, they feel that they're just sitting on this volcano of bad middot and trying to keep everything undercover, but then it comes exploding and spilling out.

And then they feel frustrated and despairing because no matter how hard they try, they hit turbulence or a pothole, and everything just comes apart as if all their middot work hasn't done a darn thing. (This is for people who are aware they have bad middot AND realize what those bad middot are AND actually try to overcome them -- which is actually a good sign. Some people are so steeped in blinding darkness that they don't even do that much.)

But your emotional lava flows and hot ash clouds are not the real you.

Yet if you think that the negative stuff are the real you, then it's too much to do a cheshbon hanefesh. You'll see something negative that you feel or have done, and immediately try to stuff it back down or run from it or justify it or just pretend it's not there.

But Hashem put it there. It's not your fault.

Confess & Request

I know that in a sincere effort to relieve the obstacle of toxic shame, psychology tries very hard to reassure people that their bad stuff is from their upbringing and their traumas.

That is true, but only partially.

Eventually, you can't help noticing that there are people who have been through whatever you've been through (or worse), yet responded much better...which either inspires you or depresses you or bemuses you, depending.

Hashem gave you your personality traits AND He gave you the experiences that would challenge those traits. Maybe you've even undergone traumas which mashed down your good traits and ballooned up your bad traits.

Well, guess what? That's also from Hashem! You have nothing to hide before Him.

Yes, it's private and you don't need to necessarily share it with others.
But sharing it with Hashem? Go right ahead!

Saying to Hashem: "I'm envious/petty/sadistic/lazy/gluttonous/anything else" is actually a beneficial act. Yes, it's uncomfortable, maybe even torturous. But it's a cleansing pain, like putting an alcohol-based tincture on a cut to prevent infection and get the cut healed faster.

Secondly, when you state your bad middah, you can immediately ask Hashem to take it away from you, i.e.: "Hashem, I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS!!!! I REJECT THIS MIDDAH! I REJECT THIS YETZER HARA! TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THIS!!!"

And you actually get rewarded for doing just this. This sweetens any judgement hanging over you. There's a concept in Judaism that once you've said something "below," meaning that you've admitted a wrong, then in Shamayim, they have no power to punish you for it.

Why?

Because you're dealing with it. You're taking care of it. You don't need a push or a wake-up call. You're doing it already. And no one expects you to jump from wallowing at the bottom of a pit of muck to reaching glorious heights of pristine righteousness in one a day or even within one decade. That's not how Hashem set things up and that's not the expectation of the Beit Din Shel Maalah (the Heavenly Tribunal).

Yet it's important to remember that this isn't black-and-white or bibbity-bobbity-boo wand-waving. Sometimes, you'll do this once and get answered/fixed right away. (And in that case, it is Heaven-sent bibbity-bobbity-boo.) Yet other times, you'll need to do this repeatedly for years before you make a serious leap upwards.

And the process can also be anything between immediate and decades-long.

Yet other times, you'll think Hashem has totally fixed you in one area, but it'll come back much later, leaving you feeling like "What the heck?!"

But as long as you're actually doing it, you're winning (no matter how much it may feel like you're losing).

Plop Your Burden on Hashem

Needless to say, you need to mean it. You can't just say, "I'm a glutton and I really don't care!"

Except that you actually kind of can. Sort of.

I'll tell you from personal experience that you can say, "I'm a (fill-in-the-negative), but I know I'm not supposed to be. The problem is that I really like being/doing (fill-in-the-negative) and I actually don't feel so remorseful about it, even though technically, I know that I should. On the contrary, I really enjoy it! Yet I know that I should feel bad about being this way. Can You help me out here, please?"

Again, Hashem knows you're like this. He knows that you're not particularly remorseful, or don't see what's really so bad about whatever you're doing, or that you simply don't have much of a conscience and even enjoy it. He knows!

This could be anything, BTW. It could be that you are a secular Jew (or a lapsed religious Jew) who has just found out about the importance of keeping Shabbat, but you simply don't enjoy Shabbat as much as you enjoy transgressing Shabbat. Not out of spite, but maybe you just really enjoy jet-skiing, and being out in the water and the sun feels spiritual to you while sitting at a table in someone's small living room feels kind of blah in comparison. Fine! Say that to Hashem and ask Him what to do about it, or just ask Him if He would please take care of it for you.

Again, Hashem made you like that. Whether via your innate nature or upbringing or a combination of both, He made you into a person who prefers jet-skiing to Shabbat.

So what?

Take it to Hashem and plop it down in front of Him, and let Him deal with it, i.e.: "I know I'm supposed to love Shabbat, Hashem. But I just don't. What should I do? Can You please help me to get where I'm supposed to be? Because I'm just not feeling it. I'm just not there."

Anyone on any level with any issue can do this.
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BTW, the above is a big reason why it's so hard to stop certain behaviors. For example:

Some people really like hurting others.
Some people even like beating up others.
For some people, life is never so good as when they are plotting against others.
Some people love lashon hara.
Some people can't stand the thought of never getting a heroin high again because nothing else feels as good to them.
Some people cannot relinquish a feeling of control, even to Hashem.
Some can't let go of self-pity or petulance or the feeling of superiority.

It feels like their lifeline and they don't know what to do without it.

Another example: A lot of overweight people hate being overweight, but they really like binging. They want to lose weight, but the actual binging doesn't bother them, despite Chazal saying that overeating is a bad middah even when it doesn't lead to obesity.

This dynamic pretty normal.

So even if you don't want to stop (for whatever your reasons), you can still give that to Hashem.

How to be the Ongoing Winner

In Rav Ofer Erez's commentary on Rebbe Nachman's The Lost Princess, he quotes a great tzaddik named Rebbe Akiva Rabinovitz:

Hakadosh Baruch Hu [The Holy One Blessed Be He] holds absolutely no hakpadah [strict judgement, condemnation] against a Jewish person who possess evil traits and lusts. Hakadosh Baruch Hu does not come in accusations about this since He implanted these within him, and He brought us down here for this purpose.

If so, regarding what is the hakpadah?

The hakpadah occurs when the Jewish person does not strive to seek out the path and the counsel as to how to get out of [those evil traits and lusts].

Therefore, there exists the iron rule:
"As long as a person engages in battle, he is always called 'the winner' [hamenatze'ach]."

(Ahavat Kedumim, p. 170)

Note: The above insight is connected to the part of The Lost Princess in which the viceroy "began to see the letters" written in the tears of the Princess on the scarf, which she left for this same viceroy who was searching for her.

To review:
What's the best thing to do to overcome the toxic shame and apathy that blocks you from your true potential and from fulfilling your soul's mission?

Realize that ANYTHING negative about you, anything that has ever caused you to do anything wrong, has been implanted in you by Hashem. It's not you.
Know that your negative traits are not the real you.
Know that your good points are the real you.
Admit your negative traits/inclinations/actions to Hashem, even if it makes you cringe, or even if you don't feel bad about them.
Ask Hashem to help you with whole mess.

May we all succeed in completing our soul tikkun without trials or tribulations.

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The Powerful Secret of Sincere Conversion

30/11/2017

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In Likutei Moharan I:17, Rebbe Nosson records the great pleasure and satisfaction of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov regarding the unusually large amount of gerim who converted in the year of 1806.

Furthermore, Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender also spoke with great pleasure and satisfaction of the entire village of Sinitsa he and his fellow Breslovers managed to convert at fearsome risk to their lives, with certain Breslovers displaying unbelievable courage and dedication in this endeavor.

But for a long time, this attitude and self-sacrifice puzzled me.

After all, Judaism forbids the proselytization of non-Jews. And not only are we forbidden from seeking out non-Jews to join our ranks, but we even force potential converts to prove their sincerity (both to the beit din and to themselves) by rejecting them several times before accepting them. And even then, the potential converts must undergo a course of study in order to really make sure they know what they're getting into (with the provision that they can back out at any time) and to prepare them to live as upright Jews straight out the gate of the final step of conversion.

Rebbe Nachman and Rav Bender clearly did not seek out converts.

Yet after seeing how sincere these potential converts were, these tzaddikim converted these gerim in great joy and -- in the case of the later Breslover chassidim -- with life-threatening dedication.

Why?

I believe the answer can be found on page 87 of Rav Ofer Erez's book Ahavat Kedumim: A Commentary on the Story of "The Lost Princess.

The Sincere Convert: A Magnet for Hidden Sparks

Rav Ofer Erez describes one of the ways to free and elevate hidden sparks trapped among the Nations:

Kosher conversion.

Using the example of Ruth, Rav Erez explains how back in Biblical times, a nation's ruler embodied the innate qualities that characterized that nation. This means that King Eglon of Moav embodied the tremendous gevurah and brazenness that characterized Moav.

In turn, his daughter Ruth inherited this same embodiment. However, due to Ruth's profound self-sacrifice and lofty spiritual stature, her conversion to Judaism literally sucked out and elevated any and all holy sparks trapped within the Moavite nation.

And so, emptied of its lifeforce, the Moavite nation ended up disappearing from the world stage. Even today, archeologists have managed to find very little left over from Moav.

Leading to Mashiach

In turn, Ruth passed on to her son Oved the now kashered and purified gevurah, with the Moavite brazenness now elevated to Jewish boldness.

It was these qualities inherited in their freed and sanctified form from his great-great- grandmother that enabled David Hamelech to fight so successfully against all enemies -- spiritual and physical, human and animal.

And then I understood.

What Sincere Dedicated Conversion Really Does

A person who converts for the right reasons releases and elevates the sparks imprisoned in whichever nation he or she comes from, and transfers those sparks of holiness to Am Yisrael.

This weakens the impure lifeforce of that nation while strengthening the holy lifeforce of the Jewish people.

In turn, every lost and trapped spark gathered back to its source in the Jewish people brings the entire world even closer to the Final Redemption.

And that's what Rebbe Nachman was so happy about and for what Rav Bender felt was worth risking a slow torturous death in the searing cold of Siberia.

Anything to hasten the Final Redemption, may it come speedily in our days.

Note: If I understand things correctly, sincere spiritually striving non-Jews needn't fear the downfall of their nation's negative power. Torah sources tell us that non-Jews will also live amid the Final Redemption, so we know that non-Jews do survive this process; may all decent God-fearing non-Jews merit this salvation.

Todd Cravens

For related posts, please see:
Converts in the Breslov Community
The Secret Saga of a Righteous Convert
How to Conquer Toxic Shame
(some fundamentals of releasing & elevating hidden & trapped sparks)

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Sticking to Your Own Path in Life

29/11/2017

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In Ahavat Kedumim: A Commentary on the Story of "The Lost Princess," Rav Ofer Erez quotes the Arizal in Shaar Hagilgulim:

"Each person who comes to the world comes for a personal and unique rectification, and no person resembles another [regarding each one's individual rectification--MR].
Each person has an individual path and way to rectify and trod, for which he has come to the world."

Each person has a deficiency (chesaron) that needs to be filled and made whole.

It's like you're walking around mostly whole, but you have a gap or a hole in you somewhere. (When people speak of "feeling empty" or "missing something" or having "a hole in their heart," this is likely what they mean without realizing it.)

Yet as long as a person resists filling and completing what he lacks, he's incomplete, says Rav Erez.

So what do people do instead of filling that very real "hole"?

They seek vitality and pleasure from the material world.

This is the real root of all addictions and bad habits.

As Rav Erez says:

"As a rule, a person cannot live in a vacuum (chesaron); he must have vitality and pleasure."
["Ki yesh klal, sheh ha'adam lo yechol l'chiyot b'chesaron; hu chayav chiyut v'taanug."]

Interestingly, the Mesilat Yesharim also asserts that one of the purposes of existence in This World is to experience pleasure...not forbidden pleasure, but soul-pleasure.

Rav Erez notes that even if a man learns Torah and merits to come close to the Truth, and even if a person is okay from every aspect and truly strives to do the right thing, nonetheless Rebbe Nosson explains that even such a person still needs to merit finding his personal individual path in the world.

He goes on to say that this is the deeper meaning of the verse "Rachel weeps over her children...for they are not..." [Yirmeyahu/Jeremiah 31:14-16]:

"She weeps over the fact that not every person goes on his own individual way and path."

There are so many voices out there (including the voice of your own yetzer hara) proclaiming the path you must take.

And yes, some of these voices are hints from Hashem as to your personal path in life.

But some are simply well-meaning people (or sometimes truly awful people) who are mistakenly projecting their rectification onto you (or simply trying to crush you), and trying to pull you off your path and onto theirs (either because their own path is working out so well for them and they feel it's the Ultimate Truth or because they can't appreciate yours).

However, it's very important and tremendously more gratifying to stick to your own path.

Most importantly, it's the way Hashem wants you to go.

HernÃ¡n Sartorio

(For more on Mesilat Yesharim and experiencing pleasure, please see HERE.)
The above translations are mine; therefore any errors are also mine.

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How to Achieve Bitachon in 3 Steps

Using the 4 Elements for Self-Awareness & Self-Improvement

Fire

Air

Water

Earth

How to Find the Voice of Your Neshamah

Discerning the Voice of the Neshamah

Good or Bad? Feeling & Being

Knocked Down Off Your Feet Yet Again? What You & Mashiach Have in Common

How to Get Up after You've Fallen Flat on Your Face

Our Purpose in This World

What is the Main Purpose of Your Existence?

How to Get Past Toxic Shame & Apathy

Fighting the Fumes of Toxic Shame

Confess & Request

Plop Your Burden on Hashem

How to be the Ongoing Winner

The Powerful Secret of Sincere Conversion

The Sincere Convert: A Magnet for Hidden Sparks

Leading to Mashiach

What Sincere Dedicated Conversion Really Does

Sticking to Your Own Path in Life

Myrtle Rising

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