How to Achieve Bitachon in 3 Steps

In his inspiring book, Ahavat Kedumim (A Commentary on The Lost Princess), Rav Ofer Erez, explains how to acquire bitachon -- trust in God.
(Or, as Rav Avigdor Miller summed it up in one sentence: "Bitachon means to say that Hashem knows what's best for us -- that's all." Tape E-216, December 1999.)

(The following applies to the part of this profoundly allegorical story in which the giant appointed over the winds gifts the viceroy a magic vessel that contains unlimited funds; this "magic" vessel symbolizes bitchon.)

Building bitachon is a life-long process, but whatever progress you can manage is really, really good and these 3 steps can give you concrete tools on how to advance in this area.

On pages 244-250, Rav Erez explains how bitachon is built from 3 steps:

• Step 1: Accepting that everything is orchestrated by Hashem using precise individual supervision, with this acceptance ideally leading a person to accept even challenging events with humility and submission.

Note: Humility and submission to human beings is negative. It leads to co-dependence and masochism. But with Hashem, it only leads to personal greatness and a sweetening of judgement (even if that personal greatness and sweetening are not yet perceivable).

• Step 2: Accepting that everything is for our benefit, with this acceptance ideally leading us to accept events with love and gratitude.

Note: This is very, very difficult when going through an agonizing experience. People who've been through very painful episodes in life may even feel outraged when faced with this concept. That's normal and the only book I know that addresses this issue head-on is Garden of Emuna, with Garden of Gratitude as its follow-up for this topic. Likewise, it's also perfectly normal to have ups and downs, veering between feeling outraged or resentful and feeling accepting & grateful.

• Step 3: Accepting events with joy by knowing there is no "bad" in the world; everything is a message from Hashem to come closer to Him.

Note: Obviously, there ARE events we perceive as bad or appalling or tragic. Likewise, Judaism does not have us hold a party when someone dies, but insists on a week of intense mourning, followed by another 3 weeks of mourning, with Tisha B'Av as an entire day of national mourning and grief. At the same time, there is a concept in Chazal that in the World to Come, the blessing we currently make over good things (Baruch Hatov v'Hameitiv), will be made over the bad things too because in the light of Truth, we'll see clearly how even the harsh and heartrending events were really for our benefit.

This is yet another example of paradox in Judaism, and one with which many people understandably struggle.

Rav Erez goes on to say:

"Within the third step, a person doesn't just subdue his will, he starts to accept b'simcha whatever passes over him. When a person accepts scorn and breaks out in dance, when a person receives troubling news and he claps his hands to sweeten the judgements, when things occur beyond his understanding and he breaks out in melody and dance for Hashem and he cries out, 'I don't understand anything. But, Abba, thank You  for concerning Yourself with me; this is certainly coming from great love' -- a tremendous light extends over the person, the light of complete bitachon. This is the light of humility and holy joy."

(Naturally, when saying it yourself, you can replace "Abba" with "Daddy" or "Tatty" or "Papa.")

And again, it's perfectly normal to achieve this level for one moment, then feel discouraged or bitter an hour later, and then to reach this level a couple of hours or moments after that.

It can even be a roller-coaster ride of days, weeks, or years.

This is the challenge and spirit of our generation.

The main thing is to at least try at whatever level you're on.

Depending on what each person has suffered in life and depending on individual personalities, some people find this much more difficult than others. That's normal.

The main thing is just to try.
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Related links:
Rav Ofer Erez in English
For more about the phenomena of spiritually and emotionally soaring and plummeting, even several times within a day, please see his series on Spiritual Bipolar Disorder.
Garden of Emuna (for Jews)
The Universal Garden of Emuna (non-denominational for non-Jews)
Note: I have not personally read this book, but recommend it on the strength of Rav Arush's other books, which I have read and found exceptional.
Garden of Gratitude
Note: This book is amazing, but if I hadn't read Garden of Emuna first, I would've found Garden of Gratitude too "strong" and not gotten out of it what I should. But everyone's different, so go with whatever you perceive as best for you.