He also suggested that we daven for the couple as part of our hitbodedut.
Recently, I was at a wedding where I scrounged up the guts to try this.
I NEVER would have thought of this on my own and I certainly wouldn't have the guts to try it without Rav Miller's reassurance that this kind of hitbodedut looks like singing and not holier-than-thou eccentricity.
My personal addition was to sway back and forth while I spoke to Hashem because it doesn't really look like singing if I just sit there while my mouth is moving.
It helped a lot that the woman next to me kept breaking out in rhythmic clapping and chair-dancing in time to the music. (Thanks, Hashem!)
So here's my take on it:
- It's not as satisfying as talking to Hashem without heavy bass and loud warbling in the background, but it's definitely possible.
- Honest to gosh, no one thinks you're doing anything weird (or anything spiritual or meaningful, chas v'shalom! ;-). It really does look like you're just singing along.
- It gets the job done.
- It makes you feel good.
So I just wanted you to know.
...try it! You might like it.