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Poetic Inspiration for the Day of Judgment from Nechumelle Jacobs: "SUPER SENSITIVITY"

13/9/2020

Here's another poem from Nechumelle Jacobs.

You can see her previous poem here:
"WE ARE HERE TO GROW" – An Inspiring Poem by Nechumelle Jacobs

The following poem features Chana, the Mother of Shmuel Hanavi & a Prophetess in her own right, plus an important lesson learned from her struggles:

SUPER SENSITIVITY

On Rosh Hashonah about Chana’s prayer we read
And how Eli Hakohein assumed she was drunk indeed

He apologised for his harsh words and misinterpretation
He consoled her, for he hurt her in her painful situation

Chana’s heartfelt prayers were accepted Above
And Hashem granted her a special child to love

But why did Chana go to the Mishkon in tears,
For her rival Penina tormented her for years

Penina was granted with children galore
And specially hurt Chana at the very core

Penina did this thinking she had a kind heart
To encourage Chana, her davening to start

But Penina was punished severely for her lack of tact
For this is not the way Hashem wants one to act

Elkona saw his wife Chana childless, her pain so raw
And assured her, compared to ten sons, he loved her more

In the end, Chana was granted a special son, Shmuel was his name
He became a Novi who anointed Dovid, all from his mother’s pain

There is a strong lesson to learn from Chana’s painful ordeal
We must be extremely careful with people in pain – so real

Hashem wants people to be sensitive to others’ pain
The more compassionate we are, the greater the gain

©Nechumelle Jacobs – 13th September 2020

(Used with permission)

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The Torah's 3-Step Process of Self-Improvement (and you mostly need to just focus on the first step): Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Netzavim-Vayelech

10/9/2020

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In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Netzavim-Vayelech: Career of Speaking, Rav Miller discusses the famous phrase regarding Torah:
"It's not far away from you; actually it's something very close to you."

But, says Rav Miller, how can that be?

Any authentic Torah literature we read emphasizes the high ideals & expectations Hashem holds of us.

Most of us who read the classic mussar masters feel that, no matter how lovingly presented, the goals stand far beyond our reach.

How is it not only close, but VERY close?

The Torah's 3-Step Process of Self-Improvement

The verse itself tells us what to do: "...with your mouth and with your heart to do it." (Devarim 30:14)

Rav Miller divides this up into 3 stages:

b'ficha – with your mouth: You need to talk.
bilvavecha – with your heart: Your thoughts based on your most authentic feelings.
la'asot — You must do it; you need to actualize your talk & your thoughts.

At a glance, the process is:

your mouth
your thoughts
to accomplish

Rav Miller discusses with your mouth.

Your Mouth is the Key to Everything

Say it out loud!

That's the first step.

Verbalize your goals & aspirations.

Rav Miller notes that today they call such an idea "autosuggestion," but the foundation of the idea is found in Torah.

(Disclaimer: I know that since the advent of modern psychology, frum practitioners make a point of saying that whatever theory is popular at any given time, it's rooted in Torah. But when Rav Miller says it, it's actually true.)

Over time, the way you talk is the way you start to think.

Many converts & baalei teshuvah experience this when they transition from the coarser, foul-mouthed, increasingly hate-filled & condemning secular society to a frum community.

The laws of derech eretz, greeting others with a pleasant face, refraining from lashon hara while giving the benefit of the doubt, saying "baruch Hashem," blessing people & wishing them good things, expressing gratitude — all this spoken goodness influences the personality over time.

Speech is unique to human beings.

It's part of the Divinely given human soul.

Rav Miller notes a fascinating function of the body: Even without speaking, the very act of thinking activates the larynx, palate, and tongue.

This is why, he says, eating makes thinking more difficult—not impossible, but more difficult.

That's because the speech mechanisms are involved with chewing & swallowing.

Using speech for self-improvement has gone on for ages in Judaism.

In fact, David Hamelech did this via Tehillim.

If you read the Tehillim, it's clear than many verses are him speaking privately: to himself with Hashem as his Exalted Audience.

Many times, I feel discomfited reciting the verses in which David Hamelech affirms his innocence & inner goodness. Being far beneath his level, I hold no such delusions about myself.

But maybe by repeating his words, we can become the sincerely good & innocent person he became.

Likewise, David Hamelech constantly repeated "Hashem is my refuge, You are my Shelter, I am YOUR servant Hashem, etc."

Saying it reinforces one's emunah.

On page 7, Rav Miller offers advice on how to say Tehillim.

The greatest Chassidic Rebbes repeated verses & holy thoughts in melody, singing these repeatedly.

Many Sages have advised meditating over a verse or piece of mussar.

In Slabodka yeshivah, they used to repeat until shouting a line from Mesillat Yesharim for a long time.

Rebbe Nachman's advice to speak to Hashem in your own words for an hour is part of this.

We should say, "I love You, Hashem."

Even if we don't feel it, saying it is VERY good.

Saying it can open one's heart to such beautiful & powerful emotions.

Rav Miller advises doing this with a mezuzah too. Look at or touch the mezuzah and say or think, "I love You, Hashem."

As far as teaching your children this concept (a vital part of chinuch, though it's rarely addressed in chinuch classes), Rav Miller says (page 11):

Teach it to your children too.

Say, “Children, altogether let’s say, ‘We love You Hashem.”

They’re embarrassed. They don’t know if their friends’ fathers do such things at the Shabbos table.

But say it anyhow!

All the children in a chorus; boys and girls all chime in and say, “We love you, Hashem.” Oh, you’re planting a seed in their minds forever.

Someday they’ll remember, “We once said that we love Hashem.”

On pages 12-17, Rav Miller elucidates on how to genuinely feel & then express gratitude for sunny days, windy days, rainy days, our homes, our functions, and much more.

Utilizing the Gift (or Curse) of Gab for Holy Purposes

There are a lot of people who don't know how to stop talking.

A lot of people display a tendency to monologue.

Others can't refrain from emphasizing insignificant details as they speak.

For example, I knew someone who had great middot & was very likable, but I found her conversational style challenging.

For example, she recalled a childhood memory like this:
"I sat in the right-hand window seat of the car and it was 81 degrees outside—no, wait. It was eighty-THREE degrees outside. I remember the exact temperature because..."

And the entire monologue went on like that.

And while she was extremely pleasant to speak with in a give-and-take conversation or small talk, she related events in the above manner.

This is difficult to listen to...for another person.

However, Hashem is very different.

This desire to verbalize even the smallest details of events & thoughts?

These are great assets when speaking to Hashem!

If such a person can use their innate tendency to monologue, talk a lot, and over-focus on all sorts of particulars to speak to Hashem & to discuss holy verses & statements, or express feelings to Hashem, then THIS is a wonderful asset.

I imagine that's why Hashem gave so many people this tendency; they have the tremendous zechut to elevate themselves (and sweeten din over the world) in this way.

May we all use our inborn traits for good purposes, and may we all experience genuine love, joy, and gratitude with Hashem.

Credit for all quotes & material goes to Toras Avigdor.

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Exploring the Ladino Torah Anthology Known as the Me'am Lo'ez: Its Impact Yesterday & Its Benefit Today, Plus a Bit about Ladino & Why We'll Probably Never Know the Complete Original Content

9/9/2020

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Years ago, I started going through the Me'am Loez by borrowing volumes from a friend who owned the entire set in English translation.

The Me'am Loez is an astonishing masterpiece of Torah scholarship—written completely in Ladino.

Initiated by Rav Yaakov Culi & first published in 1730 in Turkey, it sparked a revolution amid the deteriorating spiritual situation of Sephardi Jewry in the Mediterranean countries.

Reportedly, tens of thousands of families who'd neglected religious observance embraced full religious adherence after reading just the first volume of Me'am Lo'ez.

With the heartfelt goal of giving his fellow Jews a positive answer for the Heavenly Court on the day of death, Rav Culi reassured them that as long as they studied the Me'am Lo'ez every day, they could claim before Heaven that they had learned the whole Torah because the Me'am Lo'ez covers all aspects of Torah.

Its English translator, Rav Aryeh Kaplan, likens its restorative influence to that of Chassidus on Ashkenazi Jewry.

What is the Me'am Lo'ez and what was its power?

Ladino Power

First of all, Rav Culi decided to write in the vernacular of those times—Ladino (Judeo-Spanish).

Many Sephardi Jews of that time either did not understand Hebrew or did not understand it well, making much of Jewish scholarship inaccessible to them.

The best way to provide them with knowledge was via their spoken language of Ladino.

With a development similar to that of Yiddish, Ladino consists of a strong Spanish base with many Hebrew words mixed in & Hebrew also influences Ladino's syntax. Aramaic, Arabic, Portuguese, Turkish, and Greek loanwords also appear in Ladino.

For centuries, Ladino remained the common language for Jews of Spain, Portugal, Turkey, Greece, the Balkans, the Middle East, and North Africa.

The wife of my husband's brother grew up speaking Ladino because her mother never learned Hebrew well, and Ladino was what she spoke in Spanish Morocco (Tangier). A Moroccan cousin of my husband also attended a school for religious Jewish girls in Tangier, and Ladino was the language of instruction.

Hardly anyone speaks Ladino today and the few who know Ladino or learn it do not use it as their primary language of communication.

However, a Ladino song with a wonderful melody about Avraham Avinu remains popular even today: El Rey Nimrod — King Nimrod.

This song (including an English translation) is easily found today, and several modern singers have recorded it. I first encountered it years ago on a cassette of songs by Yehoram Gaon, and immediately fell in love with it.

A deeply religious song, it's one of the last vestiges of Ladino in popular culture.

What is the Me'am Lo'ez Exactly?

The Me'am Lo'ez is commonly referred to as a commentary on the Torah.

And it is.

But it's also much more than that.

Though written according to the chronology of the verses of Torah, the Me'am Lo'ez reads much like a novel.

And therein lies part of its great power of influence: The Me'am Lo'ez provides enjoyable & fascinating reading.

Throughout the masterpiece, Rav Culi (and the Sages who continued the Me'am Lo'ez after him; Rav Culi passed away after completing all of Beresheit & two-thirds of Shemot) brings a wealth of Torah scholarship written in a conversational manner.

In fact, reading an English translation of the Me'am Lo'ez, it's astonishing to see the breadth & depth of Rav Culi's knowledge.

Even if one studied copiously for 200 years, how could one know so much, both of well-known & copiously studied works and also little-known midrashim?

Tanach, Talmud, mussar, halacha, midrashim, Zohar — Rav Culi not only knew these works with amazing familiarity, but also knew all the commentaries associated with these works.

And although it's thought of a Sephardi work, only its halacha is specifically Sephardi (although in translation, scholars added the Ashkenazi variations in brackets).

The rest of the Me'am Lo'ez reaps from a wealth of universal scholarship: Talmud, Zohar, Midrash Rabbah, Kli Yakar, Yalkut Shimoni, Rashi, Rambam, Ramban, Ralbag, Magen Avraham, Abarbanel, Pri Chadash, and much more.

If you read the Me'am Lo'ez on any parsha or book (like, say, Shoftim/Judges), you will not only end up knowing that parsha or book well, but you will learn a lot of halacha, mussar, kabbalah, and just plain fascinating information.

In its heyday, a bride's family purchased a set of the Me'am Lo'ez for the groom, much like the bride's side purchases a set of the Talmud for the groom today.

And much like today's Jewish man commits himself the the program of Daf Yomi (a page of Talmud per day), Jewish men were also expected to learn a portion of the Me'am Lo'ez every day.

Those who could not afford a set of their own or who could not read attended public readings in synagogues.

(Readings, both public & private, plus discussions, enabled women to also learn the content of the Me'am Lo'ez.)

And the reading of the original Me'am Lo'ez is where we struggle today.

The Story of the Hebrew & English Translations

The Me'am Lo'ez was originally printed using Hebrew letters.

Like Yiddish, Ladino was originally written with Hebrew letters.

And the script used was similar to Rashi-script.

Who knows Rashi-script today?

Only frum people, and not all frum people can read it. And it's not as easy to read as regular Hebrew script.

Furthermore, as noted above, hardly any Ladino-speakers remain to understand, let alone translate the Me'am Lo'ez.

You also need to be a real Torah scholar in order to both understand & explain the concepts elucidated in the Me'am Lo'ez.

Fortunately, such a person was found in Yerushalayim in the late Sixties: Rav Shmuel Yerushalmi.

Interestingly, it was an Ashkenazi Jew, Rav Chanoch Eliezer Wagshal, who initiated the first Hebrew translation project.

After hearing Sephardi Sages discuss the Me'am Lo'ez & seeing Sephardi shopkeepers learn from it during pauses in sales, Rav Wagshal decided (with the support of another Ashkenazi Jew, Rav Asher Zelig Margolius) to seek its translation into Hebrew.

Actually, even before these Ashkenazi rabbanim sought to produce a Hebrew translation, the greatest Sephardi Sages of that time already spoke with Rav Margolius about a Hebrew translation to prevent the Me'am Lo'ez from being completely lost to the Jewish people.

A decade later, Rav Wagshal approached Rav Aryeh Kaplan with the goal of translating it into English.

Despite Rav Kaplan's Ashkenazi-sounding surname, Rav Kaplan's family originates from the Spanish city of Carmona and Rav Kaplan's grandfather was fluent in Ladino. Though he taught Ladino to Rav Aryeh Kaplan, it happened early in his youth and much had been forgotten.

Not to mention, many Ladino words known among Sephardi Jews of the 18th Century failed to remain in use over the centuries.

For these reasons, Rav Kaplan reluctantly conceded to utilizing Rav Shmuel Yerushalmi's excellent Hebrew translation (rather than translating exclusively & directly from the original Ladino), though his English translation also follows & utilizes the original Ladino.

(The above information is found in the Translator's Preface to the English translation of Beresheit-Noach in Volume 1 of the Me'am Lo'ez.)

However...

Neither the Hebrew nor the English translations reflect a complete translation of the Me'am Lo'ez.

Especially in the books following the Chumash, it's questionable how closely the Hebrew translation follows the original Ladino.

Certainly, both translations are fascinating & enriching masterpieces, which retain much of the original content of the Ladino Me'am Lo'ez.

However, the Hebrew translation of Beresheit/Genesis omits several paragraphs dealing with Kabbalistic interpretations.

However, Rav Kaplan restored some of them into the English translation.

On the other hand, the English translation omits some scientific discussion.

Rav Culi made those scientific interpretations according to the most brilliant knowledge of the 18th Century, but at the time of Rav Kaplan's translation, those same interpretations were outdated and Rav Kaplan feared they might diminish appreciation of the Me'am Lo'ez in full.

(I couldn't help wondering about this, knowing how science ebbs & flows throughout time. I remember reading another translation of a book about Jews in Yemen, with the translator's apologetic disclaimer regarding certain natural medical practices of that time as being what they considered helpful back then — only for such techniques to make a comeback in our times, with evidence to back up their efficacy.)

Note: Like Rav Yaakov Culi, Rav Aryeh Kaplan passed away before completing the English translation, and so the English translation was completed by others.

Reading the above brought me to the sad realization that the best a non-Ladino speaker could do is read both the English & the Hebrew translation, but even then, you still won't get the full original, whether the supposedly outdated science or the deep Kabbalistic interpretations or other deviations.

(Also, I found it intriguing that Rav Culi had no problem including certain Kabbalistic interpretations for the most ignorant of his time, but both Rav Yerushalmi & Rav Kaplan concluded that at least some of them are not appropriate for us, even we frummies. How times have changed...the 18-century am haaretz could apparently handle what the the 20th-century educated frummie could not)

However, with all the Spanish comprising Ladino, couldn't one of the many frum Spanish-Hebrew-speaking rabbis of today produce at least a full Hebrew translation—and really, there are even rabbis who know Spanish, Hebrew, and English too.

Can't we have a complete translation of the original in both Hebrew & English?

Furthermore, how about a transliteration of the original Rashi-script to the Latin-based script used by all Spanish-speakers today? Wouldn't that make the original Me'am Lo'ez accessible to at least Spanish-speaking Jewry today (plus make it a lot easier for non-native-Spanish-speakers to work it out)?

The Obstacles Standing before Transliteration & New Translations

As stated above, you really need a full-fledged Torah scholar to translate the 3 million words of the Me'am Lo'ez.

While this whittles down quite a bit the number of available candidates for the task, they certainly exist.

The problem is that with Rav Yerushalmi's skillful translation, there isn't much impetus to re-invent the wheel.

Just to figure out the omitted sections—sections which really might not be appropriate for the average reader today—and other deviations from the original?

No, it's an overwhelming task for such minor reasons.

Ditto with an English translation, even though we have rabbis knowledgeable in Spanish & English.

And what about a transliteration? Shouldn't that be easy enough if Ladino is anyway based on Spanish?

Well, actually, no...

Why not?

Because...

Disclaimer: Different regions of Spanish-speakers pronounce the same words differently. I chose one & lack the knowledge to include all the variations. In fact, I never learned Spanish; I only tried to learn some to understand the original Ladino of the Me'am Lo'ez. Anyway, please keep the above in mind if you're used to a different pronunciation.

It seems that Ladino adopted a—let's call it phonetic, maybe?—pronunciation of Spanish words.

For example, the Spanish word for "people" is gente.

Gente is pronounced "hen-teh."

However, in the original Me'am Lo'ez, gente is spelled:

ג'ינטי

In English transliteration, that's probably pronounced "zheenty" — which is how one might pronounce gente without knowing the rules of Spanish.

(Imagine the "zh" pronounced like the "s" in "pleasure." It's a j-z sound not found in English, but common in European languages.)

On the other hand, it depends how the tet-yud ending are voweled. Is there a chirik (ee) under the yud or a tzereh (eh)? It doesn't say.

But even if the Ladino-speakers pronounced it with a tzereh under the yud, making the pronunciation "zheenteh," it still isn't how the Spanish gente is pronounced.

Yet it would make sense to transliterate ג'ינטי as gente.

But in doing so, you would lose the original Ladino pronunciation.

Once you do that (and if you do that throughout), it's not really Ladino anymore.

Likewise, the Spanish que (than, that) is pronounced "keh."

Ladino spells it קי.

Is that pronounced "keh" or "kee"?

I'm not sure, but if it's "kee," then you couldn't spell it que, right?

Other words like ella (her), which is pronounced "eyah" or "ayah," are spelled phonetically in Hebrew-scripted Ladino: אייא

Likewise, there are words like:

פרוב'יג'ו

This was likely pronounced "pro-vee-zho."

It only takes a bit of research & guessing to figure out this is the Spanish provencho — pronounced "pro-beh-cho." (It means "advantage" or "benefit.")

But again, how would you spell it according to the Spanish alphabet?

So that's a major complication in coming up with a good Spanish transliteration.

And just for kicks, here is a phrase from the original Ladino Me'am Lo'ez:

נו טיינין הצלחה קי פלאנטאן ארב'וליס אי נו טיינין פרוב'יג'ו די אייוס

And here in Spanish-English transliteration:
"...no tienen hatzlacha keh plantan arvolis e no tienen proveezho de eyos..."

In real Spanish, it would go something like this:
"...no tienen hatslaja que plantan arboles y no tienen provencho de ellos..."

If you know Hebrew, you probably caught the insertion of hatzlacha/success.

(I'm not sure how you transliterate hatzlacha in Spanish; thanks to Hava for her suggestion in the comments.)

In English translation:
"...they don't have success with planting trees and they don't benefit from them..."

If you know Spanish & Hebrew, plus you can read Rashi-script, then feel free to try reading the original Me'am Lo'ez here:
https://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=22704&st=&pgnum=1&hilite=

From Loss to Acceptance

Anyway, I came to the heart-sinking realization that the original Me'am Lo'ez will never be realized in complete translation.

As a complete body of work and one of the most brilliant & encompassing works of Torah scholarship since the Talmud, it's lost to us (though in translation, we retain the majority of it).

I mourned that fact for a bit, then realized that if Hashem wished us to have a complete translation of the Me'am Lo'ez in at least Hebrew, then we would have it.

Ladino-proficient Torah Sages with the skill necessary to translate into Hebrew existed in the centuries since the publication of the Me'am Lo'ez.

Yet it never happened until 1967.

And whether it was for the English-speaking audience or the Hebrew-speaking audience, knowledgeable rabbis agreed that at least some parts of it must be omitted.

So I took comfort in the fact that we received exactly what Hashem wanted us to receive from the Me'am Lo'ez.

And regardless of any omissions, the translations of the Me'am Lo'ez provide us with a wealth of Torah knowledge & compelling reading for our times—and refreshing sustenance for our souls.

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Torah Hashkafah can Prevent Wildfires

9/9/2020

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Regarding the horrific wildfires raging through California right now...

Due to the impassioned persuasion & propaganda of environmentalists, California has not cleared out deadwood, underbrush, and other wildfire-fuel for 40 years.

While many officials & media outlets choose to blame "climate change," the study of wildfires shows that clearing out dead vegetation is the best prevention of massive wildfires and benefits forests in other ways.

In other words, these overwhelming & fast-traveling wildfires are caused by surplus of dead vegetation.

Also, historical records & tree rings indicate that southern California endures years-long droughts every so often.

And contrary to the attitude of nature-zealots, nature NEEDS human use to survive & thrive.

Not human greed, but healthy use.

That's how Hashem set up the world.

The Kli Yakar gleaned this from the Torah 400 years ago.

For more about the Kli Yakar's view of people & nature, plus some vivid photos & fascinating studies on wildfires, please see here:
The Torah View of Our Planet Earth: Use It or Lose It

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How Hashem Helps Scrub the Slate before the Day of Judgment

8/9/2020

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Around 6 months ago, my teenage sons found a pair of 6-kilo (13-pound) barbells in their old clubhouse.

Apparently quality barbells, they clearly cost a lot of money.

Yet neither they nor their friends had any idea to whom the barbells belonged.

At first, they left them in the clubhouse for the owner's return.

But every day my sons checked, the barbells remained in the same place.

Finally, we took the barbells into our home to preserve them from the elements or possible theft.

We tacked a sign on the clubhouse (which stood next to a popular walkway) stating the presence of the barbells, plus our address & phone number, but no one called or came.

When the wind blew the sign down, we tacked it back on.

The sign remained up for months, but no one came.

We didn't place an ad in the lost-and-found section of our neighborhood publications because it seemed that someone wanted to hide the barbells and the clubhouse seemed a convenient place for them.

Some communities frown on body-building, unless a specific health issue demands it. They consider regular exercise (like walking) a positive habit, but reject the culture of pumping up extra muscle for no reason.

(And I discovered how insightful that attitude is when I saw that frum boys who started muscle-building exercises indeed became obsessed with their muscles & physique.)

So we didn't place an ad because we figured the owner, by discreetly placing them in a corner of the clubhouse, wished to keep the barbells a secret.

Late last night, one of my teenagers happened to glance out the window and saw a couple of young men stealthily entering the clubhouse.

He called out to them, asking them what they were doing.

One answered, "My friend forgot something here...uh, barbells."

His "friend," eh?

My son immediately understood.

"Six kilos?" said my son.

"Yes," said the young man.

"Green?"

"Yes."

"We have them here at our home. Come on up and take them."

With guarded expressions, they came to the door and my son cheerfully handed them the barbells.

As we'd guessed, the pair looked like they came from a community that frowned on body-building.

Then they asked for a bag strong enough to hold the barbells, and we gave them one.

Because I didn't want them to think that we'd stolen the barbells, I explained to them how happy we were they'd come to collect the barbells, and how we put up a sign on the clubhouse to direct the owners to our home.

Then we asked for forgiveness for any inconvenience caused and with smiles, they said it was fine.

And they left.

Hashem is on Our Side

Despite the countless kindnesses & mercies Hashem does for us throughout each day for our entire lives, it was this incident that made me feel like Hashem really cares.

With Rosh Hashanah coming up fast and all the slate-cleaning necessary to prepare for a renewed lease on life, Hashem's orchestration of the return of the barbells prevented us from holding onto something that did not belong to us.

Returning a lost object is a huge mitzvah and one can transgress the prohibition against theft if one is not careful about making sure that the property of others stays with others.

How fortunate that the owner came by not only when we were home, but that in the darkness, Hashem caused my son to notice them at exactly that moment.

It's the kind of situation you can't create on your own and it made me feel like Hashem really cares about us, that He's helping us clean up our act prior to judgment.

In other words, Hashem Himself WANTS us to come out with a happy verdict.

God is not a petty tyrant looking to punish — He WANTS us to succeed!

He WANTS to reward us!

Also, the above is a lot like another incident in which I davened for Hashem to help me apologize to & ask forgiveness of a boy I'd inadvertently hurt, but wasn't even in the country.

Hashem brought him right to my door on the first night of Rosh Hashanah.

(You can read that story here: When It's Hard to Say You're Sorry)

"One who comes to be purified — they [Hashem's agents] assist him."

הבא לטהר, מסייעין אותו

(Shabbat 104b)

May we always merit Heavenly assistance in our striving to be better.

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Seder Hitbodedut: Some Added Structure for Talking to Hashem for Those Times You Struggle to Focus & Find the Words

7/9/2020

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Click image to go to her site - Hebrew only.

Rabbanit Ahuva Arad, a well-known speaker in Eretz Yisrael, published a beautiful siddur for women in nusach edot hamizrach (AKA Sefardi):

Tefillah L'Hashem V'Hakol Mitgashem.

At 976 pages, it contains all of Sefer Tehillim too, plus many tefillot & segulot & advice for all kinds of situations.

(UPDATE: For those in Eretz Yisrael, this siddur can be found in the Ohr Hachaim bookstore chain. If they don't have it in stock at your local Ohr Hachaim bookstore, you can probably ask them to order it.)

The section entitled Seder Hitbodedut intrigued me.

How can you put personal prayer (which by nature, is unique to each person & changes each time) on paper?

And didn't Rav Shalom Arush already give us a seder of thirds?

(Meaning: ⅓ thanking Hashem, ⅓ self-scrutiny & confession, ⅓ requesting stuff from Hashem.)

Turning to that section, I discovered that it literally is a seder (an organization or list) of pre-hitbodedut prep and guidance for the hitbodedut itself.

First of all, it starts off with the benefits of hitbodedut (personal prayer in your own words):

It's more powerful & effective than fasts or crushing your attachment to physicality by rolling in snow.

A Jew who engages in hitbodedut brings the Geula (Final Redemption) closer.

Hitbodedut nullifies decrees hanging ominously over Am Yisrael.

The act of one Jew engaging in hitbodedut rouses other Jewish souls to do teshuvah (because we are all interconnected as if one person with many facets).

A Jew who engages in hitbodedut and judges himself (or herself!) in This World (via cheshbon hanefesh and confessing one's sins) will not be judged in the Next World (because he or she already underwent a self-scrutiny & found oneself guilty of whatever, so there is no need for the Heavenly Court to do so).

Then there is a prayer to say before hitbodedut.

And finally, this is the seder:

Seder Hitbodedut

Praise & Gratitude to Hashem

Thank Hashem for every day that He renews the initial Creation (i.e., we continue to enjoy the Sun, Moon, and stars, etc.)

Thank Hashem for any health you enjoy.

Thank Hashem for any livelihood you receive.

Thank Hashem for family.

Thank Hashem for friends.

Thank Hashem for having taken us out of Mitzrayim (Egypt — and having escaped the 49th level of tumah/spiritual impurity)

Thank Hashem for every Shabbat.

Thank Hashem for the chagim (Jewish holidays).

Thank Hashem for the Holy Torah.

Praying for Am Yisrael

Daven (Pray) for Hashem to build the Beit HaMikdash.

Daven for Mashiach to come with rachamim (compassion & mercy).

Daven for the refuah of all sick people, both generally & by name.

Daven over the troubles Am Yisrael experiences.

Daven over the Galut (Exile).

Daven about anything else you can think of.

Confession

Confess your wrong-doings before Hashem.

Request from Hashem mechilah & slichah (total forgiveness)

Regret your past.

Take upon yourself to, bli neder, be better in the future.

Judge yourself from yesterday until now.

(Meaning, examine yourself & your deeds as if you were a judge examining evidence for a verdict. Don't sink into toxic shame if you find yourself terribly guilty because (a) Any negative qualities were planted there by Hashem, so they don't reflect badly on you personally or your beautiful essence; remember, your core neshamah is completely pure & pristine...and (b) You prevent the Heavenly Court from judging you and thereby delivering negative consequences because you've already judged yourself, so you only gain by self-judgement. Yay!)

Finding Your Good Points

Give yourself credit for any efforts you make in the right direction (even if you didn't succeed).

Give yourself credit for all the times you overcame your yetzer hara: the times you overcame your anger, refrained from speaking lashon, and so on.

Sha'at Ratzon — A Time of Favor

Request from Hashem all that is in your heart, both your spiritual desires & your material desires.

Believe that Hashem hears you.

Believe that no prayer is ever turned away empty-handed.

(It may take time for a prayer to be granted. It may be fulfilled differently than you expect. But sincere prayer is never turned away.)

I found the above helpful because sometimes, we feel stuck regarding what to say to Hashem.

Sometimes, we need help in articulating exactly what to thank Hashem for or what to confess.

Sometimes we don't have time, and the above, though structured, is flexible enough to be completed in 15 minutes. (Or it can be stretched out to 2 hours or even more.)

Or you might forget that cheshbon hanefesh (self-accounting) isn't just your negatives, but your positives too (as noted above).

Here's a downloadable PDF of the Seder Hitbodedut (specially formatted to fit on 1 page at a glance or to print out):

SEDER HITBODEDUT

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An Insight to Help with Kavanah for the Blessing of Magen Avraham in Shemoneh Esrei

6/9/2020

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One of of the first blessings in Shemoneh Esrei is "Baruch...Magen Avraham — Blessed is...the Shield of Avraham."

Depending on your gender & obligations, you say it 1-3 times every day of your life.

It's important to say it with kavanah (heartfelt focus).

But what does it mean exactly?

As always, there is a lot to say about such a fundamental blessing.

In Strive for Truth, Volume 2, Part 3, Torah: Inward & Outward, Rav Eliyahu Dessler notes that any attachment to external matters tends to diminish one's inner life.

For example, Rav Simcha Zissel refrained from revealing to others mussar certain insights as long as those insights held the power to affect his own heart.

Telling others releases the "pressure" in one's own heart, whether for better or for worse.

For example, relating your troubles to a sympathetic person can relieve the pressure of these worries.

People who write poetry or do some form of journaling discover this same relief.

But relating certain Torah insights or mystical truths sometimes dims the spiritual light for the one speaking of it.

Many writers discover than when they speak or write to others about what they want to write , they no longer feel the same "oomph" to write about it.

Other writers note that if an idea faces severe criticism, they lose the passion to write about it, no matter how good the idea & how wrong the criticism.

Speaking about a new spiritual practice you wish to take on sometimes has the counter-effect of diminishing your passion for it — especially if your listener is dismissive, discouraging, scornful, or mocking regarding the practice.

Yet Avraham Avinu received a special chessed from Hashem.

Hashem enabled Avraham Avinu to maintain constant contact with people far below his level, in order to bestow upon them acts of kindness, without them influencing Avraham in any way.

Avraham Avinu never lost even a millimeter of his lofty level.

Likewise, Hashem enabled Avraham Avinu to teach others, to reveal all sorts of insights, without ever diminishing his own passion or dimming his own spiritual light.

In other words, sharing his innerness with others never released the "pressure" or diminished his rich inner life one iota.

May Hashem be such a shield for us too.

*This idea about "Magen Avraham" originated with the Chatam Sofer. Rav Dessler heard it from Rav Naftali Amsterdam, a leading talmid of Rav Yisrael Salanter.

An artist's representation of Avraham Avinu's birthplace of Ur in ancient Mesopotamia

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Lots of Delicious Food for Thought to Help You Laugh at the Crazy World around You: Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Ki Tavo

3/9/2020

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In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshat Ki Tavo: A Stubborn Nation, we learn a bit about why, if Am Yisrael is God's Chosen, is Am Yisrael so small?

We've always been so vulnerable, both at risk for physical attacks (as numerous genocides, massacres, and pogroms have shown through history) and for assimilation.

We can (and have) easily get swallowed into the surrounding nations at worst.

At the very least, we've often been influenced by our surrounding environment even as we maintain our Torah observance.

And that's the whole point of our minority status: It's a test.

Our emunah & commitment to Hashem & His Torah are like a muscle that needs to be worked in order to be strengthened.

By being forced to push back against alien values & external influences strengthens us & brings out our true spiritual grit.

Delving into what Torah says about different situations & ideas endows us with the luxury of independent thinking and enables us to rise above the mass collective and see things with more clarity.

A real connection to Torah enables us to see things as they really are, for better or for worse, and liberates us from relying on others to tell us what to think.

Idolatry, Both Modern & Ancient

The modern Western mind wonders at the lure of ancient idolatry.

Rav Miller explains in vibrant detail what it was really like on pages 5-6.

While our Sages long ago uprooted (via prayer) the general pull toward idolatry, we still see vestiges of this in our attitudes & attractions today.

People obsessively follow certain celebrities (both self-made & media-made), yearning to see their makeup application, what they eat for breakfast, who they're dating, what kind of pets they have, and many other meaningless or invasive details.

They may plaster their room with posters of their favorite celebrities, own a mug or a journal decorated with the celebrity image, and pride themselves on knowing endless & meaningless trivia regarding this completely useless person.

They create or join fan clubs dedicated to their "idol."

In some cases, they even try to dress like the person. (This gets particularly weird when it's a male idolater of a female celebrity.)

They take it personally if anyone criticizes the object of their adoration.

All the above applies to popular theories in the secular world which claim to answer our questions (and promote atheism) or solve our problems.

Some people ARE actually helped in these ways, but most aren't.

This is very similar to how occult solutions helped a minority of members and today in some churches, "faith healing" goes on, with astonishing results. (Rav Miller also mentions this on page 6.) If it actually works, it's either psychosomatic or kochot hatumah.

But whether it's based on faith or science, it fails the majority, yet the minority success gets all the publicity.

And all the above are more accessible now than ever.

Why does Hashem do this to us?

Rav Miler explains (pages 6-7):

Avodah zarah was put into this world for no other purpose than we should gain reward by means of resisting it (Sanhedrin 64a).

That’s what the sages of the Anshei Knesses Hagedolah said.

We have to study those words!

It’s a significant statement made by a group of the wisest men.

The allure of idolatry was given to the world by Hashem as an opportunity for the Am Yisroel to gain reward.

The ability to combat the opinions of the world is one of the great strengths of our people. If you didn’t have any difficulty in being a Jew, you wouldn't get much credit.

"When a lie is adopted by very many people, it becomes extremely difficult, almost impossible to withstand it." (page 6)

Rav Miller mentions that in a poll, researchers discovered that out of all the groups, Orthodox Jews are more resistant to pressure than others.

It's true; this really struck me in my much younger modern Orthodox days in my late teens.

I'd never seen anyone question & discuss politics like the young modern Orthodox men who so clearly knew how to analyze & weren't afraid to examine issues & politicians honestly.

They also lacked that "This leader will save us!" attitude (along with the "This leader will destroy everything!" attitude) so common among secular or non-Jewish Americans.

This may have changed somewhat due to outside influences, but that's what I remember from over 25 years ago.

And certainly many frum people, especially the charedim, look at politics and even their own politicians with caution.

Also to see how the church-going Americans no longer speak about abstinence before marriage, but only encourage contraception.

Most of these prominent conservative right-wing female leaders dress like they're going out for a night at the discotheque, showing no respect for their personal dignity & tzelem Elokim, while their male counterparts must still wear long pants & button-down collared shirts (often with a jacket & tie) if they want to be taken seriously in the professional world.

But committed Orthodox Jews haven't changed values. Okay, yes, women dressing with dignity & nobility has recently gone down the hill in many communities, but many still adhere to tsniyut with great devotion and those that do not still don't lower themselves to the depths of the non-Jewish world.

On pages 8-9, Rav Miller describes the spread of Christianity & Islam.

It's very interesting to see how throughout history, entire nations simply took on whatever religion was either most popular or most forcefully imposed upon them.

On page 10, Rav Miller relates an anecdote of a yeshivah bachur who felt faint from both the idea of church theology & evolution.

Not because they rejected them, but because he worried they might be true.

Yet Rav Miller pointed out that they contradict each other.

It's true that today, you can feel yanked from one side to another.

On pages 10-11, Rav Miller discusses evolution & NASA.

Growing up democrat & liberal, I certainly believed in evolution & scoffed at those who didn't.

When becoming frum, I gobbled up those frum books & articles that explained their theories of Divinely guided evolution.

But at one point, when I turned to reading Chazal, like the mefarshim on Tanach and mussar books, and so on, I realized that even a smidgen of evolution doesn't exist in Chazal.

All the "Divinely guided evolution" books I'd read simply engaged in mental gymnastics to arrive at the conclusions they did, seeing correlations where there really weren't.

(Rav Miller discusses this dynamic on pages 12-13.)

These authors were sincere & smart, but ultimately not correct.

Since then, I've learned that scientists & researchers in the non-Jewish world have started denying evolution and bring compelling proofs against evolution.

It's not easy because of the zealous commitment to evolution in the science world, but intelligent & compelling rebuttals exist.

And even though feelings are no proof in matters of science, I still want to say that ever since I dropped the need to harmonize Judaism with evolution (because evolution doesn't exist), I've enjoyed a feeling like dusty fly-mangling cobwebs have been swept out of my brain.

It's a nice feeling.

Real Science Lies beyond the Mainstream Promotions

By the way, I think the following quote from page is very important. It's similar to what I did too, except that Rav Miller's starting point (anti-evolution) was much higher than mine.

Anybody can study this and see that the world is crazy. The world is poshut crazy.

Of course we have no time to study their books and to find answers to their arguments.

Maybe some specialists could do that – I did it to a big extent, by the way.

But life is too short and it takes a long time to explain all the lies but if a Jew wants he can study it and he’ll discover in the books of the scientists themselves that it’s a fraud.

The above also describes my process with astronomy (not astrology, but the actual science & study of planets, etc.) when I realized that much of what is written in textbooks & articles as fact are actually extrapolations from extrapolations from extrapolations with very little science at its base.

To my astonishment, I discovered that the "scientific" process of astronomy was very similar to Greek & Roman mythology, except that astrophysicists use geology as the basis for their stories, rather than gods.

(You can read more about the correlations between scientific theories of astronomy & ancient mythology here: The Venus Effect: Lots of Fun Insanity)

For example, they invent unproven forces like "mantle plums," which feature in textbooks alongside descriptive illustrations — only for the reader to discover that no one has ever detected a mantle plume; geologists simply invented the idea to explain events they don't understand.

(In fact, The Geological Society of London organized The Great Plumes Debate in 2003, in which they debated the existence of mantle plumes.)

The point is that if you look beyond the popular science magazines (written to both fascinate & brainwash laypeople) and read the peer-reviewed literature & books (while paying careful attention when they use non-scientific terms like "feel" "assume" "believe" "indicate" and so on) that address all sides and not just the popular side, you'll arrive at the right conclusions.

(You can read more about that here: The Zealous Religion of Modern Science)

Laughter & Joy are the Best Antidotes

Ultimately, Rav Miller encourages us to laugh at the outside world.

Yes, we should relate to people with courtesy & derech eretz.

But to ourselves, we should laugh.

He also emphasizes that we must feel good about being different, even when people mock or despise us.

We're not different just to be different.

The Torah way is RIGHT.

And every insult or jeer earns us immeasurable reward as long as we stick to our guns.

Credit for all quotes & material goes to Toras Avigdor.

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Discover True Beauty & Life's Real Achievements, Plus Learn What's Really Necessary in Life: The Profound Importance of Jewish Children & Their Diverse Natures

2/9/2020

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Toras Avigdor has put together a powerful PDF of Rav Avigdor Miller's transcripted lectures on motherhood:

https://torasavigdor.org/building-worlds/

Rav Miller speaks from the heart and it's clear he possessed profound appreciation for the role of the Jewish mother.

And he doesn't focus only on the ones society admires (i.e., the Stunning Do-It-All Superwoman).

He speaks so compellingly about ALL frum Jewish mothers; every frum Jewish mother is a heroine.

For what it's worth, I feel that reading Rav Miller's words on the topic can inspire you to appreciate not only yourself (if you are a mother), but also inspire fondness & appreciation for all our fellow frum Jewish mothers.

I think men can also benefit from Rav Miller's point of view because it helps to appreciate the roles of one's own wife or mother (and grandmothers!), plus enables a father to provide his daughter with the best hashkafah regarding her role as a frum Jewish mother, whether it's in her future or whether she's up to her ears in it now.

But to digress a bit, several paragraphs jumped out at me (pages 10-12, boldface emphasis my own addition):

Every child is an achievement for the Am Yisroel.

If you’re a Jewish mother, you made our people a better people and the Am Yisroel is grateful to you for bringing so much beauty into our people.

Because what are parents doing?

They are planting various kinds of trees and plants in the world.

The world can’t have just one kind of tree and plant. Roses are beautiful but it’s not enough. To have only violets? It’s not enough.

You need various flowers; roses and violets and lilies, everything else – all kinds of plants.

The variety adds beauty and pleasure to this world; every different plant is a different benefit for the world.

Fruit too; you need apples and oranges and bananas and dates and figs. You eat everything and each one has its own sweetness.

The sweetness of apricots is not like the sweetness of an apple. And the sweetness of an apple is not like the sweetness of an orange. And grapes are different and pears are different.

*
And therefore, when parents have children, they’re putting into the world people of different natures and that means they’re walking in the ways of Hakodosh Boruch Hu.

*
And it’s a pleasure to see all of them – we need all of them!

What a great achievement it is!

Let’s say a man comes here to the lecture and brings all of his sons. Let’s say he brings five or six sons. It’s remarkable how different they are. It’s a remarkable thing; from the same parents the children are so entirely different.

This one is fat and jolly. This one is skinny and serious. That’s a true case I’m talking about – a family I know. One of the little boys has a face like a businessman – like an adult already.

Everybody is different! From the same parents! It’s a neis [miracle]!

It’s a pleasure to have skinny serious people, skinny serious Jews – it’s very important to have them.

Fat jolly Jews – it’s a pleasure to have them.

Business-like Jews – it’s a pleasure to have them.

Each one is a pleasure, no question about it.

The freiliche [cheerful] Jews and the serious Jews and the business-like Jews, all of them are necessary.

*
Also the women. One daughter is like this, another daughter is like this.

One daughter is quiet and obedient. Another daughter is a little freilach and mischievous, a lebideger [lively one].

Another daughter is stubborn.

They’re not robots that you program – each one is a world unto herself.

But you’d be surprised; you need them all.

They’re so different one from each other but each one uses her middos in a way that serves Hakodosh Boruch Hu.

The idea running through these paragraphs is so important, particularly in light of Rav Itamar Schwartz's emphasis on how Hashem sent covid-19 into the world partly because we lost our grasp on what he calls "holy individuality." (source)

Despite its reputation to the contrary, Judaism is the anti-robot religion.

And yet...

When our children behave according to their God-given natures...

...and when that particular God-given nature doesn't fit into cultural or social ideals...

...we parents can feel very, very bad about that.

Yes, we need to mechanech (train & educate) our children. Unbridled freilichkeit turns into insensitivity & driving others crazy with irresponsible behavior. Unrefined seriousness turns also turns into insensitivity via snubs & general disregard for the needs of others.

But here, one of the biggest talmidei chachamim to ever grace the American continent (and a man who does not hesitate to tell us the truth, regardless of how palatable or unpalatable) states that our children's individuality — including the more challenging or socially unappreciated aspects of their individuality — is NECESSARY.

An ACHIEVEMENT, states Rav Miller.

We tend to think of achievements as actions that earn wild applause & golden trophies & headlines. Or impressive certificates & accolades.

Conventionally speaking, achievements garner big salaries & major recognition, plus honors, magazine interviews, appearances on popular talk shows, and lots of followers on social media.

But no, says Rav Miller.

A mischievous child, a hyper child, an introverted child — THESE are achievements.

Forget the trophies, the applause, the certificates with pretty calligraphy, the big money, and the spotlight.

Those aren't real achievements, according to the Torah.

Most tellingly, Rav Miller listed traits that many parents find challenging.

(And yes, serious children also challenge adults because these serious ones can take life annoyingly seriously, not smile when adults expect them to, and in general not respond in the way adults & other children consider polite & proper.)

So according to this exceptionally knowledgeable Torah scholar, the very children who embarrass their parents by acting up, blurting out all sorts of nonsense or tactlessness, or not smiling engagingly or not responding as expected out of shyness or insecurity — THEY are necessary! We need them!

The fact that they need chinuch does NOT imply a fault within their innate nature.

They add beauty to the world.

Not just the obviously charming, well-spoken, well-groomed & well-behaved children, but ALL children.

Your child that drives you the craziest & garners the most phone calls from exasperated teachers — THIS child is equally an achievement & a necessity & a thing of beauty.

And YOU were also once a child...a necessary, needed neshamah — an achievement who adds beauty to the world.

And you still are.

A metaphorical portrait of our children.

Quotes & material used with the generous permission of Toras Avigdor.

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"WE ARE HERE TO GROW" – An Inspiring Poem by Nechumelle Jacobs

1/9/2020

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Probably some of you are familiar with Mrs. Nechumelle Jacobs (née Berger), a lovely frum poet who is wheelchair-bound due to cerebral palsy, and lives with her husband in England. (He also uses a wheelchair and they got married around 5 years ago.)

Mrs. Nechumelle Jacobs has been interviewed in frum magazines & she also offers an email list where you can receive her poems.

I got hooked right away on the honesty & emunah expressed in her poetry. She offers inspiring ideas & chizkuk too, along with a glimpse into her life as an intelligent adult & dedicated Jew who also struggles with demanding physical limitations.

Here's one for encouragement in interpersonal growth:

WE ARE HERE TO GROW

With each baby born, we celebrate
As we wish, they grow to become great

Our parents and teachers give us education
For life they enhance for us a Torah preparation

We are here to grow and perfect our soul
In truth we all share the same success goal

No one is without any flaws, not by a long shot
But we have to refine ourselves with all we have got

When with people, in the correct way, we interact
Then with the Torah, we will have joined a pact

If we turn our lives around with interpersonal growth
We will be rewarded by Hashem; that is His Oath

We must try to uplift others, so that our middos expand
By encouraging them, with lending a helping hand

Then we will have grown to our fullest potential
For middos toivos in Yiddishkeit is very central

When we grow in this manner, to Hashem nachas we give
Then of our inadequacies, with love, He will surely forgive

©Nechumelle Jacobs – 20th July 2020

(Used with permission)

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Forward>>

Poetic Inspiration for the Day of Judgment from Nechumelle Jacobs: "SUPER SENSITIVITY"

The Torah's 3-Step Process of Self-Improvement (and you mostly need to just focus on the first step): Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Netzavim-Vayelech

The Torah's 3-Step Process of Self-Improvement

Your Mouth is the Key to Everything

Utilizing the Gift (or Curse) of Gab for Holy Purposes

Exploring the Ladino Torah Anthology Known as the Me'am Lo'ez: Its Impact Yesterday & Its Benefit Today, Plus a Bit about Ladino & Why We'll Probably Never Know the Complete Original Content

Ladino Power

What is the Me'am Lo'ez Exactly?

The Story of the Hebrew & English Translations

The Obstacles Standing before Transliteration & New Translations

From Loss to Acceptance

Torah Hashkafah can Prevent Wildfires

How Hashem Helps Scrub the Slate before the Day of Judgment

Hashem is on Our Side

Seder Hitbodedut: Some Added Structure for Talking to Hashem for Those Times You Struggle to Focus & Find the Words

Seder Hitbodedut

An Insight to Help with Kavanah for the Blessing of Magen Avraham in Shemoneh Esrei

Lots of Delicious Food for Thought to Help You Laugh at the Crazy World around You: Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Ki Tavo

Idolatry, Both Modern & Ancient

"When a lie is adopted by very many people, it becomes extremely difficult, almost impossible to withstand it." (page 6)

Real Science Lies beyond the Mainstream Promotions

Laughter & Joy are the Best Antidotes

Discover True Beauty & Life's Real Achievements, Plus Learn What's Really Necessary in Life: The Profound Importance of Jewish Children & Their Diverse Natures

"WE ARE HERE TO GROW" – An Inspiring Poem by Nechumelle Jacobs

Myrtle Rising

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