Blog Posts

Links to Food for Thought on Hurricanes

4/9/2019

One of the craziest hurricanes in the recorded history of the Bahamas hit right at Rosh Chodesh Elul.

Its bizarre & destructive behavior, with its unceasing grind over the Bahamas gives food for thought. I sincerely pray that it will shift far away from America's East Coast.

Prayer really works.

Also, such powerful acts of nature are messages to us.

Here are some posts on the issue:

Hurricane Dorian

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A Review of "Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life & Times of Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld" & Why It Challenged Everything I Thought I Knew about the Modern History of Eretz Yisrael

2/9/2019

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Originally, I wanted to list & review the main books that formed my opinions & knowledge of the modern history within Eretz Yisrael.

Yet what was supposed to be a list & review of several books ended up turning into one long review of what was, for me, the most transformational of the books:
Guardian of Jerusalem: The Life & Times of Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld written by his grandson, Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Sonnenfeld. (Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld ztz"l was born in Eastern Europe in 1848 and passed away in Eretz Yisrael in 1932.)

This is an abridged translation of the 3-volume Hebrew Ha'Ish al HaChomah (The Man on the Wall).

On the other hand, while I and others found this book transformational, I met other people who found the book merely “interesting” or even just so-so.

Yet for me, this pivotal book opened my eyes to so much.

For example, the people I was always taught to respect as the “pioneering heroes” of Turkish- and then British-occupied Palestine were actually dangerous power-hungry rabble-rousers who either cared very little for or outright hated Judaism, and continuously endangered their fellow Jews.

Ironically, these "pioneering heroes" nearly wiped out Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael — which was then rescued by the very ultra-Orthodox rabbis so profoundly despised by these pioneering heroes and their adherents; such adherents also include historians who should know better.

The Hidden Truth: How Eliezer Ben-Yehudah Nearly Caused the Mass Expulsion of the Entire Jewish Population under the Ottoman Empire, & Who were Ultimately Saved by the Wise Intervention of the Sephardi Sage Rav Yaakov Shaul Elyashar & the Ashkenazi Sage Rav Shmuel Salant

For example, throughout the world, non-Orthodox Jewish communities hold up Eliezer Ben-Yehudah as a great hero, mostly for his revival of Hebrew as a modern language.

Yet he created great problems, not only for religious Jews in Eretz Yisrael, but for all Jews living in Eretz Yisrael, and ultimately ended up endangering every single one of the Jews living under the rule of the Turkish Ottoman Empire.

For instance, Ben-Yehudah published an article in 1895 that seemed to encourage a bloody revolution of the Jews against the Turkish rulers.

And while religious Jews have always been coming to Eretz Yisrael over the millennia, it was the new secular nationalist Jewish movement that caused the Turkish rulers to ban Jewish immigration in 1884.

Sometimes, the Ottoman authorities issued decrees prohibiting Jews from outside of Eretz Yisrael to buy land or housing in Eretz Yisrael. When some Jews tried to go around this prohibition, the Turkish authorities expanded the decrees to ban home repairs — like fixing leaky roofs.

Needless to say, this not only impeded Jewish aliyah, but also increased the deprivations of Jews already settled in the Holy Land.

In fact, the famed tzaddik, Rav Shmuel Salant, tried intervening with the Turkish governor to allow Jewish aliyah, but the nationalist revolution-mongering articles repeatedly published in the secular Jewish newspapers of Eastern Europe kept the Turks in a state of wariness. It was only with great effort that Rav Salant was able to convince the Turks to re-open Jewish immigration.

This is only one example of this particular historical deception put out by the secular Left.

So it was actually the “ultra”-Orthodox Jewish Sages who came to (or were born in) Eretz Yisrael, these same pious Sages who lived in Eretz Yisrael and did everything they could to keep the borders open for the aliyah of their fellow Jews.

The secular Leftists in Eastern Europe who called themselves “Zionists” and embraced Communism were the ones who actually provoked the bans on aliyah and stunted Jewish immigration to Eretz Yisrael.

But you’ll never hear that outside the frum community because in the Leftist narrative, the Torah-observant Jews are always the bad guys and the obstacles, and the assimilated “progressive” Jews are always the heroes.

So when the Turkish rulers got wind of this article, it spelled very bad news for ALL Jews throughout the empire.

As a result, Rav Salant convened a meeting of fellow Sages, including Rav Sonnenfeld.

Rav Sonnenfeld advised turning to the local Sephardi Gadol Hador Rav Yaakov Shaul Elyashar for assistance.

Why?

Due to all the nationalist revolution-mongering sentiment coming out of secular Jewish Europe, the Turks lost their trust of Ashkenazi Jews (although Rav Salant himself still had some influence). Because the Sephardi Jews under their reign never agitated against them, they still trusted the Sephardi Jews.

Along these lines, Rav Sonnenfeld recommended that Rav Salant and the Ashkenazi beit din proclaim their support of Rav Elyashar, to which Rav Salant and the other Ashkenazi rabbis immediately agreed.

The Ashkenazi Gadolei Hador sent a rabbinical emissary to this Sephardi Sage Rav Elyashar with a copy of the incriminating article. Upon reading Ben-Yehudah’s inflammatory message, Rav Elyashar became incensed upon realizing the danger his beloved Jewish brethren were suddenly in.

Rav Elyashar immediately contacted the Turkish authorities with a message of unequivocal rejection of the ideas within the article, insisting that such ideas did not reflect the Jewish community at large.

This showed Heavenly assisted foresight because at that moment, news of the article reached the seat of the empire in Constantinople, which resulted in the Sultan himself summoning the Gadol of Turkey, Rav Moshe HaLevi.

The advisers to the Sultan recommended harsh measures against the Jews. In fact, unbeknownst to any of the Jews (including these great Sages) of that time, the Turkish council decided it wanted to expel ALL Jews from the ENTIRE Ottoman empire!

(According to my estimates, this included around a million Jews — maybe less.)

Needless to say, this would have sparked a terrible catastrophe for Sephardi Jewry, with nowhere to go — and the Jews of Eretz Yisrael included in this expulsion! At that time, the Ottoman Empire compassed Jewish communities throughout the entire Middle East (minus Arabia & Iran).

Fortunately, the Sultan held such a high opinion of Rav Yaakov Shaul Elyashar & Rav Shmuel Salant (the two leading Sephardi & Ashkenazi authorities in Eretz Yisrael at that time), the Sultan first wished to hear from these two great Sages.

A reply to the Sultan was dictated by Rav Elyashar in his name & the name of Rav Shmuel Salant to Rav Yosef Rivlin, who then sent it to Rav Moshe HaLevi in Turkey.

Admirably, the reply was straight-foward & unapologetic about the innate Jewish yearning for the re-establishment of Tzion & Yerushalayim.

Yet it stated this fundamental Torah concept in an appealing & non-threatening manner.

The great Sage emphasized the Jewish yearning to return to Yerushalayim & live under their own king, but emphasized that they are praying for God to bring this about. He also reassured the Sultan that Jews are commanded to pray for the welfare of whatever kingdom they live in and that they certainly pray for the welfare of the Turkish empire.

This communiqué signed by the 2 great Sages of Eretz Yisrael freed the Sultan to refuse to issue a decree of expulsion.

Interestingly, this communiqué also saved Ben-Yehudah, whom the Turks wanted to punish harshly. Instead, he was sentenced to 1 year in prison (which is still pretty bad, considering the Turkish prisons of that time) — but even that sentence was eventually suspended.

Yet how was this tremendous salvation reported by the agitating anti-Torah activists in Europe?

Negatively!

The secular Jewish newspaper HaTzefira condemned this heroic act of the Gedolei Hador as “mesirah”—informing on fellow Jews to the non-Jewish authorities!

It bears emphasizing again: The Turkish authorities already knew about the article. It wasn't the Sages who brought it to their attention. If there was any mesirah here, it was committed by Ben-Yehudah and the irresponsible publishers of such articles. And anyway, this wasn't the only article that worried the Turks; this had been going on for a while.

So we see how a distorted Jewish history is taught to unsuspecting Jews outside the Torah community.

Saved by the "Black Arm" of a Complete Tzaddik

Here's another story that appeared in a previous post, but I'm reposting here for your convenience:

At one point, Rav Sonnenfeld went way out of his way to save the life of a terrible Jew (“one of the leaders of the Zionist Labor Federation, known for his virulent anti-religious attacks”) who needed the superior medical treatment provided only at Shaarei Tzedek hospital...and only Rav Sonnenfeld could make it happen.

To provide some background: The Beit Din of Yerushalayim had placed a ban on anyone who entered the Missionary Hospital, whether for work or for treatment, with dire results for anyone who violated this ban.

Anyway, it was assumed that the legendary Dr. Wallach of Shaarei Tzedek would refuse to admit a person who both intentionally chose treatment at the Missionary Hospital (despite the ban and the poorer medical treatment there) and who operated as a rabid anti-Torah Leftist bent on destroying Yiddishkeit in Eretz Yisrael.

Indeed, upon being brought to Shaarei Tzedek, the Leftist and his family encountered resistance from Dr. Wallach.

Interestingly, the family asked an off-the-derech youth to approach Rav Sonnenfeld.

This youth was the son of a big talmid chacham and well-known to Rav Sonnenfeld. This youth also knew that Rav Sonnenfeld was “quite upset” with this same youth for leaving Torah and befriending this anti-Torah Leftist.

Nonetheless, this same youth approached Rav Sonnenfeld at home, where Rav Sonnenfeld still received this youth with warmth.

Upon hearing of the urgent situation, the rav braved a severe thunderstorm to rush to Shaarei Tzedek, where Rav Sonnenfeld insisted that halacha demanded the admission of this dangerously ill traitor (but promised to discuss the matter with Dr. Wallach later).

Two weeks later, the anti-Torah Leftist experienced a miraculous recovery, then continued his nefarious activities.

Knowing how much the Leftist disliked Rav Sonnenfeld, none of the Leftist's associates informed him of Rav Sonnenfeld’s life-saving intervention & mesirut nefesh.

By the way, this also shows the mentality of such misguided people. Why not tell the Leftist leader? Why not tell this rabid hater that one of the Gadolei Hador saved his life? Maybe it would soften him up a bit. At least, it might stop him from attacking the tzaddikim. Maybe he’d more willingly to hear Rav Sonnenfeld’s side and compromise a bit.

But those who knew davka decided to be careful not to tell him. So once again, we see that Leftists don’t really pursue peace; they have other agendas.

Anyway, a year later, this same Leftist delivered a keynote speech at a groundbreaking ceremony for a new settlement in the North. When he reached the climax of his speech, this Leftist gave a frenzied shout:

“We will build this land by waging a fight to the death against the black arm of Rabbi Sonnenfeld and his cronies!”

(page 137)

Sitting in the audience was the same youth who’d interceded on the Leftist’s behalf.

This frenzied proclamation spurred the youth to jump to his feet and shout his protest against such slander.

At the invitation of the shocked Leftist, the youth took over the podium and explained to all assembled “exactly how the ‘black arm’ of R’ Chaim Sonnenfeld had interceded to save the life of one who had vowed to destroy him.”

Not that this revelation of Rav Sonnenfeld's great goodness softened up the haters.

They continued on as they were.

Big Government Agendas Cause Big Problems

Furthermore, Guardian of Jerusalem shows clearly how the secular Leftists keep landing on the wrong side of history.

Because they don’t actually care about their fellow Jews, but only their own political interests, they tend to make concessions when it’s better to be unyielding, and conversely, display aggression when diplomacy would work better.

History has shown again & again that Socialism & Communism demand a complete takeover of the government.

Because these movements necessitate what’s known as “big government,” this inherently means that they must take over all aspects of government. By virtue of their big government policies, Socialism & Communism demand complete domination (for themselves) and complete submission (of their citizens).

(And in the case of the Communists, this domination & submission repeatedly occurs via much cruelty & bloodshed.)

But people like Rav Sonnenfeld & other Gedolei Hador (who actually care about all Jews) knew when to stand tough and when to seek peace. Real talmidei chachamim routinely seek win-win solutions, which benefit the surrounding non-Jews too.

In fact, Rav Sonnenfeld decided to make a kind of peace agreement with the King of Jordan (known at that time as King Hussein ibn-Ali of the Hashemite Kingdom).

Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld Makes True Peace with Jordan - WITHOUT Any Dangerous or Disruptive Concessions

Considered the senior & most influential leader in the Middle East at that time, King Hussein’s newspaper actually lauded the Jewish return to their Homeland & called on the local Arabs to remember the writings & traditions that bade them to be hospitable & tolerant, focusing on the accomplishments of the Jewish and stressing that Eretz Yisrael was the “holy and beloved birthplace of the Jews.”

Once again, we see repeated throughout history that our holy tzaddikim often win the love and respect of the non-Jewish leaders.

As the last Gemara in Brachot says: "Talmidei chachamim increase shalom in the world."

Rav Sonnenfeld sought a meeting with the king to enable unlimited Jewish aliyah, but was thwarted by the secular Leftists who wanted to take over.

Unfortunately, the anti-Torah Leftists discovered this planned charedi delegation and denounced it as “treacherous,” presenting it as undermining the interests of the people of Israel.

(It didn't. It only improved the interests of the people of Israel. However, it did loosen the anti-Torah Leftist stranglehold on Jewish society in Eretz Yisrael.)

The anti-Torah Leftists also resorted to physical threats, which intimidated several of the charedi delegates into withdrawing.

However, 3 delegates managed to reach the king and presented an appealing plea, not only for continued aliyah, but also for an improvement in the conditions of the Jews already living in Eretz Yisrael.

The king received them warmly, bestowed honors upon them, and even handed them a large sum of money to be distributed among the Jewish poor of Yerushalayim.

The Love of a Tzaddik for Eretz Yisrael is Greater than Anyone Else's

At the same time, Rav Sonnenfeld viewed the actual Land with reverence and saw both the return of religious Jews and the newfound patriotism of the secular Jews as the beginning of the Geula — even as he waged an unwavering battle against all the anti-Torah leaders and their agendas, and against encroaching secularism itself.

In fact, Rav Sonnenfeld was not afraid to tell Chaim Weizmann that:

“The right to be called a ‘Zionist’ belongs only to those who pray thrice daily, ‘May our eyes behold Your Return to Zion in mercy.’ The meaning of ‘Zion’ is spiritual, not geographical.”

Rav Sonnenfeld went on to denigrate the secular concept of Zion as:

“merely a geographical, political, physical concept in which you seek to establish theaters and cultural institutions the same as all the nations, while severing ties with our glorious past…There is no greater travesty than this!”

...while considering a Jewish sovereignty as “icing on the cake, which will come by itself.”

(page 375)

Rav Sonnenfeld lovingly told a grandson (who received an invitation to serve as rav in one of Czechoslovakia’s leading communities):

“My son, I feel that being a laborer in Eretz Yisrael is greater than being a Rav in Chutz La’Aretz…”

(page 244)

His grandson decided to remain in Eretz Yisrael.

After the savage riots & massacres of 1929, Rav Sonnenfeld insisted on performing a bris milah in an area that necessitated his passing through some particularly dangerous Yishmaeli neighborhoods.

When a friend literally grabbed Rav Sonnenfeld’s arm and begged him not to proceed, Rav Sonnenfeld declared:

“I will go specifically via the Damascus Gate and thus inform the Arabs that they have not succeeded in frightening Jews out of even one section of the Holy City.”

(pg. 252)

The Reality of Torah-Loving Jews who Invested in the Mitzvah of Yishuv Ha'Aretz vs. The Reality of the Torah-Hating Jews who Called Themselves "Zionists": Compare & Contrast

Throughout the book, you repeatedly see displays of Rav Sonnenfeld’s dedication to the poor, the downtrodden, Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael, bringing Torah to all Jews; you see his incredible ahavat Yisrael and his profound sympathy toward even the most errant Jews.

You see his dedication toward peace among fellow Jews, particularly among the different groups of Torah-observant Jews, and also peace with non-Jewish authorities in an effort to prevent wars and bloodshed of both Jews & non-Jews.

The ultimate example of a warrior from love, Rav Sonnenfeld exemplified humility & a total commitment to Hashem.

In contrast, the viciousness & power-lust of the anti-Torah Leftists also come through:

their willingness to assassinate individuals who interfere with their grab for power
their willingness to starve entire communities, including children
You see their impetuousness that threatens Jews far & wide.
You see exactly how their ego-driven efforts actually shut down the very aliyah they claim they stand for and increase the suffering of the Jews of Eretz Yisrael

This is also seen through the secular manipulation of the Sephardi communities, which continued long after the establishment of Medinat Yisrael.

While the Ashkenazi tzaddikim (like Rav Sonnenfeld) displayed great concern for their Sephardi brethren, the secular Leftists would plot against the Ashkenazi religious community and when the religious Ashkenazim resisted, the Leftists would cry, “Racism!” and insist they were acting on behalf of the Sephardim.

They never were, as repeatedly shown by their actions since then.

From Whence Came Such Wellsprings of Hate toward Such a Paragon of Love?

Looking at everything altogether, it seems inconceivable that the anti-Torah Leftists hated Rav Sonnenfeld so rabidly.

Here was a man who loved Hashem so much, he couldn't help but to love Hashem's Land and also Hashem's people — even the most errant ones.

Looking at just a sampling of what Rav Sonnenfeld achieved:

He saved Ottoman Jewry from terrible suffering.
He saved the entire Jewish settlement in Eretz Yisrael (exactly what the self-proclaimed Zionist claimed to be so gung-ho about).
He saved Ben-Yehudah from harsh punishment.
He saved one of his vicious opposers from certain death.
He refused to allow others to say yemach shemo when mentioning Ben-Yehudah.
He even found a positive merit in the extremely dysfunctional Ben-Yehudah.

— How is it possible to hate such a person as Rav Sonnenfeld?

Not to mention that as far as Jewish assertion over who Eretz Yisrael really belongs to: Rav Sonnenfeld showed far more dedication & courage than the anti-Torah Leftists who made settling the Land into a Nationalist Communist vision, rather than a holy one.

Why did this paragon of love (love of God, love of Torah, love of the Jewish people, love of Eretz Yisrael) engender such hatred, including from the very people who benefited from his efforts?

(Even if they didn't know of his efforts on their behalf at the time, they still should have been able to sense his sincerity, holiness, and caring — because it was so palpable.)

And I think it goes back to a chassidish idea: A tzaddik is a mirror.

(Please see the story of The Black Wolf for illustration of this concept.)

These anti-Torah Leftists were full of ego and hunger for power & dominance. They literally hated anyone who got in their way. (You must have a very black heart indeed if you are able to starve small children death.)

I think that they couldn't grasp the concept of love and living your life out of love.

I think they couldn't ever relate to going to battle out of love rather than hate & ego.

And when they saw someone who represented everything they weren't, it looked so wrong that they literally could not tolerate him.

Along these lines, there is the well-known rabid envy that some uneducated people feel toward Torah scholars, as described by Rebbi Akiva in Pesachim, that when he was an illiterate man, he could have bitten the Torah scholars with the bone-shattering gnash of a donkey.

A Valuable Resource to Read Again & Again

The above is just a tiny sampling. At around 470 pages, this book contains many more well-documented examples of the truth behind the promoted history of modern Eretz Yisrael.

Ultimately, I found myself in heartfelt agreement with the man who told Rav Sonnenfeld's grandson (page 135):

"So many people think that they understand who R' Chaim [Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld] was, but in truth, just as the followers of Mizrachi did not truly appreciate Rav Kook, the followers of Agudah did not truly appreciate R' Chaim."

And this insight shows how vital it is to read this book again & again in order to fully grasp Rav Sonnenfeld’s ideals & who he really was, to study and glean from his deeds and his words how to truly follow in his path.

Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld ztz"l

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Rav Avigdor Miller on the Great Truths & Parallels Revealed Parshat Re'eh

30/8/2019

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In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshas Re’eh 2 – Parallels in the World, the following stands out on pages 2-3 (italics mine - MR):

There’s nothing among the nations of the world that can equate to what the Jewish people stand for.

Because it’s only the Jewish people who stand for Hashem Who gave us the Torah at Sinai.

That’s how we sum it up in one sentence:
We’re the nation that accepts to live by the attitudes that Hashem delivered to us at Har Sinai.

And that means that we, the smallest nation, have to stand up against the whole world – all the falsifiers who stand up against us.

And once again, Rav Miller answers questions that may have been lingering in your subconscious (or conscious):

Does it make sense that a Nation of Hashem's representatives is such a tiny group?

And today, we're an even smaller group within the group, if you look at the Jews who actually serve Hashem.

But instead of being disdained or ignored by much of the world, shouldn't our truly great Sages be installed on thrones as leaders of the world?

These all-important questions are answered with the dvar Torah.

But the short answer is that it gives us tremendous reward to cling to Hashem within a sea of apikorsut and opposition.

Rav Miller explains that all the new "isms," the new fads, the Eastern religions, the missionaries, the new ideologies...they all come to tempt us.

And saying NO! to these temptations earns us TREMENDOUS reward!

The Profound Humility & Insight of Rav Isaac Sher of Slabodka (pg. 7)

We always must remember what the chachomim admonished us: [Da mah sheh tashiv l'apikores] – You should know what to reply to an apikoris.

Now, the Slabodka Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Isaac Sher, zichrono l’vracha, used to say that it means, “Know how to answer up this apikoris right here” (The Rav pointed at himself).

Because inside of everybody there’s a yetzer hara that’s talking.

All the ideas of the outside world are seeping into our minds and therefore you have to answer yourself.

How Drawing Intelligent Parallels Reveals the Truth

Rav Miller emphasizes that essentially, we have only one answer to all the other ideologies: "I'm loyal to Torah & that's it!"

But Hashem also gave us other answers to help us out.

For example, the mention in this parsha of "gods who are nearby & gods who are far-off."

This is an instruction to make intelligent observations, and then draw intelligent parallels.

Rav Miller uses the examples of "Saint" Andrew & "Saint" William to make this point (pages 9-11).

He then reveals the truth behind the myths of the "great" sheriffs & cowboys of the Wild West. (pages 12-14)

And then the truth about many of the sciences & travel books (pages 14-17).

It's all quite revealing & amusing & thought-provoking.

As always, all credit goes to Toras Avigdor.

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The Politically Incorrect Truth: Females Need Protection to Avoid Harm; And in Situations of Harm, Many Find It Hard to Act in the Absence of 3 Crucial Factors (Alternative Title: Yet More Reasons Why the Mandatory Draft of Girls is a Very Bad Idea)

29/8/2019

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Despite all the hype in today’s world about the “new!” bold confident assertive women of today, a glance around immediately shows that the truth is very different.

Especially young woman struggle to stand up for themselves in certain situations. Unfortunately, the brassy sneering females get the spotlight.

(This is despite the ugly situations they can find themselves in, situations that should be avoided for their own benefit.)

And self-absorbed women who have faced aggressive men and overcome them like to hoist themselves up on the pedestal of “If I can do it, ANYONE can!”

This highly narcissistic attitude ignores situational & personality variables. As is characteristic of cults, it holds a black-and-white view that every situation and every person can be molded in exactly the same way.

In many, if not most, situations in which a woman or girl is able to successfully fight off or escape an assault, there is tremendous mazal involved — an important factor ignored by mainstream society and those who promote this Supergirl persona.

But many young woman struggle.

In every co-ed army in the world, reports of harassment and violation occur.

This is true even in the American army, which as a volunteer army, you’d think attracts a more assertive type of women. Furthermore, female recruits undergo basic training, which includes self-defense and hand-to-hand combat.

(Although in the IDF, basic training doesn’t always include that; it depends. But it does always include training in the use of a machine gun.)

So why is it that, in all armies that allow female enlistment, so many women (especially young women) are unable to fend off (either physically or behaviorally) their male colleagues and superiors in the military?

Whether it’s verbal harassment or physical assault, these trained Amazons ultimately cannot control certain situations to their benefit if their male assailant doesn’t allow it.

Mandatory Female Draft is an Anti-Female Agenda

Today’s IDF pushes the agenda of female recruitment.

There is also a ruach of pride that girls can operate within the army, including combat, and all secular journalism portrays female recruitment in a rosy hue.

Even among the dati-leumi, female recruitment (not shirut leumi, but actual IDF service) is admired in some circles.

There are so many problems with this and so much false propaganda to counter. But today, we’ll just focus on harassment, exploitation, and violation.

What are the 3 Factors Often Necessary before Girls & Women will Seek Assistance?

Unfortunately, young woman faced with predatory colleagues (and especially predatory superiors) find themselves in a particularly distressing situation.

In addition to the superior physical strength young men generally possess over young women, a higher-ranking male possesses authority over all soldiers under him.

This obviously does not include the right to harass and assault (which is strictly forbidden in the IDF – officially, anyway).

But rules & resources aside, a young woman can easily find herself psychologically intimidated by both an officer’s physical imposition (even if he's not actively using it) and his authority, even if she’s not consciously aware of what’s she’s intimidated by.

A common yet never-discussed dynamic is that many young women find it difficult to get help UNLESS all the factors line up to their advantage.

Just to ask for help (whether in the middle of a situation or after the fact), many young women need the following:

Someone (often male) with the authority and power to help.
Approachability
The CERTAINTY that this authority will indeed help them.

If any of the 3 factors are lacking, many young women will not seek assistance or protection.

This is why you have young women stuck in situations they could easily get out of or why young women don’t always demand help even in a public setting surrounded by lots of people.

What Happened to the Israeli Superwoman All of the Sudden?

For example, my husband once supervised a café run by 2 frum guys.

The waitresses were all young Jewish women of the secular/traditional type, at least some of whom were after military service. To save money, the managers hired a middle-aged married Yishmaeli.

My husband felt disgruntled with this situation from the outset. He hated the idea of a Yishmaelite holding authority over Jewish girls.

Sure enough, my husband entered the café not longer after hiring and was approached by the young female staff to complain about harassment.

“He makes us give him a kiss and hug before we leave,” they complained. “If we don’t, then he deletes us from the computer and we don’t get paid that day for all the work we did.”

(Note: The above constitutes ACTUAL harassment.)

Some of the girls gave into the Yishmaeli’s demand while some refused and suffered their names deleted from the computer for that day’s work.

But none of them confronted the Yishmaeli on the spot.

Nor did they complain to their bosses.

No, they waited until my husband showed up — an approachable sympathetic male with the power to help and protect them.

Feeling the same as if his little sisters had approached him with the same complaint, my horrified husband instantly contacted the managers and said, “The Arab has to go NOW or else I’m withdrawing your certification on the spot.” Then he ordered them to never hire such a person again.

The Yishmaelite was fired and my husband grumbled about people trying to save money on the cheshbon of Jewish girls.

Stunned & upset by the harmful hiring on part of the frum bosses, I wondered out loud, “Could they have really thought he'd behave decently? I mean, he’s this middle-aged married guy.”

My husband huffed and shook his head.

“How could they not know that he can’t control himself?” he said. “Of course they knew! It’s literally putting a fox in charge of the henhouse. What did they think would happen? He suddenly finds himself with all these young Jewish girls under him and he just couldn’t control himself.”

Then he had some more choice words against the Yishmaelite mentality in general and toward females, especially Jewish females.

(Note: When my husband mentioned “their” lack of self-control, he did NOT mean that as an excuse for appalling behavior, but as a directive to protect ourselves and AVOID creating such situations in which girls suffer.)

Yes, my husband handled this situation excellently.

But what perplexed me was how the girls didn’t stand up for themselves.

After all, this is Israeli society and Israelis—including the females—tend to be more assertive.

According to logic, the following needs to be answered:

At least some of these girls were after or in the middle of military service. They’d shot rifles and been conditioned to behave assertively & with dedication to the welfare of their colleagues — why couldn’t they stand up to Achmed?

Also, they were a group united in their resentment and certainty that this was unjust. So why were they unable to stand up for themselves as a unit?

Furthermore, these girls represented the majority in power in the country (Jewish) while their harasser was in the less advantaged sector (Muslim-Arab). So why didn’t they just stand up to Achmed?

Also, some of the girls did have the guts to refuse his demands -- and got deleted from the system. So why didn't they take it one step further and protest to either Achmed or their Jewish bosses?

Why didn’t they immediately complain to their bosses?

Why didn’t they complain to their parents — their parents would’ve for sure intervened, right?

Why did these girls feel they needed to wait for the appearance of a definitely sympathetic & approachable male with the authority to help them?

Why?

Because that just seems to be the way many young women intuitively handle such situations. (Please see the 3 factors listed above.)

The "Freeze" Response Cannot Always be Overcome

Back to the army:

It’s unrealistic and naïve to expect all men to relate with decency and respect to their female colleagues and subordinates in the army, especially when you have a majority secular crowd that lacks knowledge or respect for the Jewish Laws of purity and the hands-off directives, and all other relevant halachot.

Furthermore, all the messages in secular society confuse both males & females.

And some people are just bad people.

I once read the heart-breaking report of a 14-year-old babysitter who’d been violated by the father of the sleeping child she was babysitting, which needless to say with a physically excruciating and emotionally traumatic experience for her. He went back upstairs for something, leaving her sitting downstairs of the sofa right near the front door.

A police station sat merely 1 block away.

Yet the girl made no dash for rescue.

She ended up sitting there for 45 minutes until the scoundrel came back to abuse her further.

Later, she recalled feeling frozen, like she couldn’t move. She could hardly think.

Hearing about this type of reaction often confounds people. She had ample opportunity to escape; why didn’t she go?

So the answer is: Based on how young women tend to respond and what they subconsciously sense they need, running to the police can be too much of a risk.

She needed to KNOW without a doubt that there would be a sympathetic approachable authority who would for sure help her.

And without knowing the officers on duty there, it was too much to ask of her to just run over there after she’d been so traumatized.

Some girls still would for sure have made it out to the police down the street.

Some girls are able to do whatever they need to do to help themselves.

But expecting all girls to help or defend themselves just because a minority manage to do so, and so it’s fine ‘n’ dandy to place girls in problematic situations l’chatchila?

What a callous attitude.

Furthermore, with the babysitter: She’d already been abused by men before, although not violated in the way she was that night. I feel this had a lot to do with her helpless response.

Apparently, the previous abuse conditioned her to feel helpless in such a situation, so she could not find it within her to make it to the police station just 1 block away.

Prevention is the Real Key to Fighting Abuse

This is yet another factor against placing young women in any military.

Any girl already traumatized by abuse can experience the same shut-down response when faced with abuse by male colleagues and superiors in the army.

But again, under the influence of Edomite culture which is the pig that extends its cloven hoof to deceptively display its claimed kashrut while hiding the totally treif lack of cud-chewing inside, the army simply posts and proclaims regulations and procedures for dealing with harassment and abuse of females even as it CREATES the very situation that leads to such exploitation in the first place.

This kind of thing is popular in Anglo cultures throughout the world.

People focus on after-the-fact measures rather than preventative measures.

Esav loves to build a hospital at the bottom of the cliff rather than erecting a barrier to prevent cars from driving off the cliff.

It's interesting to note that at least one group has dedicated itself to teaching women & girls to AVOID potentially dangerous situations, rather than rely on self-defense techniques. They were driven to do this out of concern for female well-being & after noticing that the techniques often don't help & that females are better served by AVOIDANCE measures.

(No Nonsense Self-Defense - Disclaimer: Some of the content is disturbing.)

Another top female self-defense instructor in America incorporates situational awareness and AVOIDANCE techniques into her self-defense course for females. Again, she was driven to do so upon seeing that self-defense is often not helpful for females.

And yes, I personally know girls and women who’ve fought off abusers or attackers. Baruch Hashem they were able to do so!

But using that minority to justify putting the majority of young women in a potentially harmful situation?

How very wrong, how very callous, and how very blind such people must be.

For a related post, please see:
A Brief Look at Why All the Gedolei Hador Always So Strongly Opposed Giyus Banot

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A Brief Look at Why All the Gedolei Hador Always So Strongly Opposed Giyus Banot

28/8/2019

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The main reason given by Gedolei Hador worldwide for their strenuous opposition to giyus banot (recruiting girls into the army) has to do with arayot — illicit & licentious behavior.

In addition to the fact that there is no practical reason for women to serve in battle, their participation in non-physical aspects of the military is of questionable worth.

(Just as one example: The male-female dynamics that often accompany mixed offices are always a problem in regular work-settings, but can lead to disaster within a military setting, with so much security and lives at stake.)

It has been pointed out many times that the only other country to enforce the female draft is North Korea.

Israel's mandatory draft of girls is a big chilul Hashem. Furthermore, girls who do teshuvah sometime between high school and IDF service aren't always considered religious and therefore aren't always exempt from this ridiculous draft of teenage girls — much to the distress of these girls.

Even fully charedi Beit Yaakov girls who aren't yet registered for seminary following high school graduation have been caught in the draft.

But let's get back to arayot.

Army-Training for WHAT?!

It's always a challenge to know exactly how much to say in a public forum that can be read (and misunderstood) by absolutely anyone.

So I won't say everything, but I will say this:

When I was already frum and living in Eretz Yisrael, I got to know a young woman who was just starting out in Torah & mitzvot. She'd been living in Israeli society for a while and was more familiar with regular Israeli society.

I was chewing over the idea of giyus banot with her, saying that while I agreed that women are not effective in battle, I honestly did not understand why girls couldn't serve in non-combat areas of the IDF. (I no longer think like this.)

To my surprise (after all, she wasn't so frum at that point), she wrinkled her nose and curled her upper lip at the idea.

"The army is really a bad influence on girls," she said with distaste. "Girls really shouldn't be there."

I was surprised at the chill in her attitude toward the idea. Secular (or even some modernish religious people) are not generally so opposed to female enlistment.

"Why?" I asked. "What's wrong with non-combat positions for girls?"

She looked like she was deliberating what to say. "Well," she finally said. "I'll give you just one example that happened with 2 friends of mine."

Her 2 girl friends went through the standard (approximately 2 years) of IDF service. Upon being discharged, these same 2 girls decided to go and become pritzot in a elite beis znus in Japan that caters to wealthy clientele.

I was shocked.

"And you think that their army service had something to do with that?" I said.

Still looking like she had a bad smell in her nose, she said, "Yeah."

But she didn't want to go into anymore detail about what had happened with these 2 girls during their army service.

Now, I know that 2 don't prove a rule and that most girls do not completely lose their dignity in that way in the army. But the fact that there is something in the IDF that can lead to this is a problem.

In this situation, my friend was convinced that the girls' decision to enter into such a deplorable lifestyle was a direct result of their IDF service. Meaning, they'd shown no inclination toward that before.

And certainly, you don't hear that happening as a result of entering into other institutions.

Some Very Real (& Very Tragic) Results of Female Enlistment in the IDF

Sadly, another friend of mine went with her formerly secular Israeli husband to an Israeli hospital for a D&C after a miscarriage.

While she was there, she noticed that the waiting room was full of very young women - like on either side of 20.

My friend's heart went out to them. She was also really shocked. How is it that so many girls who are so young are having miscarriages, and then needing a D&C? "I couldn't believe all these young girls were having miscarriages!" she said to me. "I just felt like, 'Oh, these poor girls!' "

When she confided her concerns to her husband (who'd served in the IDF), he said, "What are you thinking? How can you be so naive? These girls are here for abortions. They're chayalot and the army pays for their abortions."

In 2014, 1000 chayalot underwent abortions.

In 2015, it was 839 (730 of which were "taken care of" by the IDF).

This is obviously appalling on so many levels, it's hard to know where to begin.

The physical & emotional trauma & aftereffects of abortion have been extensively documented (and repressed by pro-abortion groups). That these young women are being put through this is such an unconcerned manner is appalling.

Not to mention the circumstances that led up to this, especially since the methods to avoid pregnancy are so acceptable in Israeli society (and free to any IDF soldier) and there is still the idea to marry if a couple discovers a pregnancy.

Another reason for this situation is the atmosphere in the army. It's sort of like an American college dorm in its hefkerut between males & females, some areas worse than others.

This doesn't even begin to touch on the very real issues of harassment & coercion & seduction & grooming that not only occur, but are greatly exacerbated by the enforced obedience endemic to any army.

And finally, yet most importantly, all of the above (whether by consent or coercion) are halachically forbidden — not that the powers-that-be care.

Countering the Propaganda

Also, from what I see, the girls themselves are the least to blame.

There's so much propaganda & social pressure regarding female enlistment, it's very hard for a teenage girl to resist the bombardment.

The propaganda is also done in such a skilled and alluring way.

I've even seen "charedi" media feature photos of chayalot who've completed their completely meaningless and gross tank service.

Charedi girls going off the derech even express interest in enlisting.

It's promoted in such a way that's hard to resist.

Furthermore, not all girls lose their tsniut in the army, but the individual cases don't justify the general problem.

And it CERTAINLY does not counter the very reason WHY the IDF insists on a mandatory draft for teenage girls.

(And no, it's not because girls are better at passive observation of monitors. That claim is part of the propaganda machine.)

Here's what Rav Avigdor Miller said about giyus banot, quoting a book by an army general he doesn't name (but can probably be double-checked by seeing which Israeli generals wrote books in the 70s):

Now we want to save העם היושב בציון, we want to help them out. We want to stop the wars; and therefore if we’re going to fight against the adverse influences there; if we’re going to exert pressure on the government that they have to remedy these evils, maybe we can have a hand in protecting the Jews in Eretz Yisroel...We want them to stop drafting girls in the army.

Because girls in the army means only one thing. Like that Israeli general who wrote a book about the Israeli army. We can trust what he tells us. And he states openly that for most girls, the induction into the army is their first experience in znus.

For most Israeli girls the army is a beis zonos. So now you have an institution, the Israeli army, which is one big house of prostitution and the girls are forced into it. Now that’s not my statement. It’s a statement by a general who wrote a history of the Israel Defense Forces and he makes that statement openly. He doesn’t make it in a clandestine secret way that you have to read between the lines.

He says it openly. They’re not ashamed.

TAPE # 204 (February 1978)
How to Protect the Jews of Eretz Yisroel

For a post on how deeply the propaganda can affect young women, please see:

The Aspect of Israeli Mentality You Need to Know in Order to Understand the Issues
Then please scroll down to Story #3: Armored Corps Avoidance Anxiety Disorder (ACAAD)

And also this related new post:
The Politically Incorrect Truth: Females Need Protection to Avoid Harm; And in Situations of Harm, Many Find It Hard to Act in the Absence of 3 Crucial Factors (Alternative Title: Yet More Reasons Why the Mandatory Draft of Girls is a Very Bad Idea)

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A Tribute to Rav Yoel Teitelbaum of Satmar ztz"l on His Yahrtzeit

27/8/2019

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I just discovered that today (Tuesday, 26 Av) is the yahrtzeit of the Satmarer Rebbe, Rav Yoel Teitelbaum ztz"l.

It seems to me that outside of Satmar & some of the charedi community, most people don't know much about him or they've only heard things twisted around negatively by people who cannot see past the fact that he opposed not individual or small-group yishuv ha'Aretz (there is, after all, a Satmar community in Eretz Yisrael that does not accept money from the government), but he strongly opposed Tziyonut.

(And those who know the true history of the secular Leftists regarding Israel tend to at least understand where the Satmarer Rav was coming from, even if they personally follow a different hashkafah.)

The Satmarer Rav was a tremendous ohev Yisrael, who also earned the respect of other great talmidei chachamim for his Torah scholarship & unswerving dedication to Torah & mitzvot — including those with him he disagreed.

Here are 2 articles in his honor:

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Why Some People Prefer the Bitter Antidote to Sweet Poison

27/8/2019

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As touched on in a previous post, Why are an Increasing Number of Us Looking to be Whacked Upside the Head?, we're seeing an increase in the attraction to a more say-it-like-it-is approach.

Speakers and writers who tell us things we don't necessarily want to hear have risen in popularity. Some even have quite a large & passionate following.

The question is why?

Liar, Liar, Facts on Fire

Let's start by looking at those who came from a non-Jewish background.

How many of those people feel lied to?

How many of those people sensed something missing from their life (either early on or later), but feel lied to about what that was?

How many feel betrayed on some level by their former not-frum or not-Jewish society?

Here are some lies (both spoken & unspoken) people were brainwashed to believe:

Killing unborn babies is not only completely permissible, but even compassionate.
People who are pro-life are heartless fanatics who care nothing about babies or women.
The Tanach is not true.
Jewish Law is optional; feel free to pick and choose!
God is optional.
God is three.
The movement for Conservative (which is actual very liberal) Judaism is a completely legitimate form of Judaism; in fact, they follow Hillel while those Orthodox Jews follow Shammai.
The Reform movement is a completely legitimate form of Judaism.
What God? What Judaism?
There's no din and no Dayan; the most important thing is that you're happy.
Premarital relations are perfectly fine and even ideal as long as contraception is used. There are no emotional or spiritual repercussions.
Marriage & children are so undesirable and put such a damper on your life, they should be pushed off for as long as possible, and you should do everything else first.
If you ever feel down or bad about yourself, it's only because you lack self-esteem.
Feminism is only good and has only improved life for females; there is no downside to it.
Vegetarians & vegans are morally superior to others. They are better people overall.
Having a physical relationship with someone of your own gender is perfectly normal and should be sanctioned by society, including marriage, and any one who thinks otherwise is an ignorant phobic bigot who should be shunned.
Republicans = Bad.
Democrats = Good.
Liberalism is The Moral Path.
All you need is love.
[Fill in the blank.]

People feel betrayed by the society that didn't care enough to give them basic morality.

People resent things they did, not realizing at the time how bad it was for them.

People resent things that were done to them because there was nothing in society that validated their quashed feeling that those things actually weren't okay after all.

For example, it took me a while to realize that the movement for Conservative (which is actual very liberal) Judaism is actually a form of spiritual abuse.

They teach you a lot of stories from Tanach, which for a child especially touches the soul. The soul senses that these stories are true in a profound way. Then they yank the rug out from under you by telling you that these events either aren't really true or that the heroes of these events are just regular Joes — or maybe even less.

(For example, people from this movement who do separate meat & dairy love to tell you that Avraham Avinu did not actually keep kosher due to the way a verse is phrased. Telling them how the mefarshim explain this does no good. Why? Because they have a great ego need to feel frummer. It justifies all their aveirot.)

So your soul knows it's true, but you're being quashed and repressed into this lie.

It's spiritual agony, but there's not outlet for the pain.

Searching for Answers

Once you're frum (or if you're frum from birth), you might run into the following:

Rabbis, rebbetzins, teachers, or advisers who misrepresent Torah.

An "I'm okay, you're okay" approach to very serious aspects of Judaism that are not at all represented in any mussar sefer — and seem to even be against halacha.

Religious hypocrisy

Kosher-certified classes that claim to be derived from Torah and promise to be The Best Way to whatever you desperately need, yet not only don't work (no matter how hard you try) but you also discover that most of it is taken from Western psychology (i.e. the very world you left for Torah Judaism, if you're not FFB)

No matter how much advice you followed & how much you prayed and did segulot, the person still died, you're still not married, the spouse still left (or is still extremely difficult), the child still went off the derech, the finances still went South, certain family members are still impossible to deal with, your life is one big disappointing mess, and so on.

[Fill in the blank.]

When people not only can't get what they want, but can't get what they've been told is a huge mitzvah that Hashem wants (i.e., marriage, children, getting children into good schools, etc.), then it can throw them into crisis.

In this case, some people might prefer being told about heavy din or the harsh signs of Mashiach or how other people who either refuse to or can't improve (like Erev Rav or "Jews" who aren't actually Jewish if you check their yichus) are messing things up.

People (especially those who've suffered) Need Validation & Very Often, The Straight-Shooters are the Only Ones to Offer This Validation

The straight-shootin' speakers & writers often validate your experiences without invalidating your faith.

These straight-shooters will readily acknowledge that certain cliches you've been fed are actually not true, that religious hypocrisy exists and is a problem, that not every person with rabbinical ordination is actually reliable, and so on.

Contrary to embittered former frummies who left the derech after facing problems, these people DON'T want to reject Hashem and His Torah.

They believe in Hashem and the Truth of His Torah.

They realize that problems and disappointments don't negate our obligations and the resulting din.

But they do need to find someone they can trust, someone who sees what they see, and does so without losing their religion. They want guidance on how to grow in emuna & bitachon despite all the challenges.

And the straight-shooters usually offer them that valuable combination.

I know that when I've read or heard something by Rav Shalom Arush or Rav Avigdor Miller that supports an observation I've had but never felt comfortable admitting, then that strengthens their position in my eyes.

It's like, "Oh! Someone finally said it! I'm not crazy; the emperor really ISN'T wearing clothes!"

And then I listen very closely to hear what else they want to tell me.

If I Can Trust Him to Tell Me the Bitter Truth, I Can Also Trust Him to Tell Me the Sweet Truth

On the other hand, people want very much to hear about emuna, Hashem's Love & Compassion, the importance of baby-steps in the right direction, and so on.

But because it's increasingly sounding like hippie rainbow children, it's hard for people to know what's REAL JUDAISM.

So when, for example, Rav Avigdor Miller tells you that literally anyone can do teshuvah no matter what the sin, or that if you thought about Hashem for one minute in a shop, "You're a great person already!" or that even one minute a day of thinking about Hashem makes that entire a day "a success" and is "tremendous achievement" that means that "You’re one out of ten thousand (pg. 16)," you believe it because he also said things like:

"having a TV is like taking a pipe from the sewers and emptying it directly into your dining room" (source)

And:

"If it wasn’t for the constant threat from the Arabs, then then the leftists would go ahead with their scheme to make Eretz Yisroel a non-Jewish country" (source)

And:

"I know one rebbe, a milameid in the yeshiva mesivta. He makes a point of carrying The New York Times, so that people should respect him. If he would pick up a handful of dog droppings and walk into the mesivta, he’d be more respectable." (source)

Because Rav Miller says bitter truths without holding back, so we can also trust him when he tells us:

"[Hashem] loves you a thousand more times than your mother loves you..." (source)

And:

"Nothing compares to Hashem’s love for you." (source)

And:

"When a man comes into the Shul and he doesn't observe much, don't shame him; you have to treat him delicately, because you can never know.

And I want to tell you something, that these people many times have more idealism than people who are in it all their lives.

People who are in it all their lives, many times are on the way out, and this man is on his way in."

(source)

And:

"It’s not the spectacular deeds that will make you spectacular; it’s the ordinary deeds, the ones you do, that when accompanied with the devotion of the mind that truly makes a man great!" (source)

Is There Any Harm to a More "Gevurah" Approach?

Is there a problem with being attracted to no-holds-barred speakers?

It depends.

If the speaker is a sincere person coming from the right place, then they also emphasize derech eretz & good middot toward others, and coming close to Hashem.

Furthermore, many tell-it-like-it-is speakers are much gentler when speaking one-on-one.

Why?

When you're speaking to someone face-to-face, you're looking them in the eye and any tochachah is no longer absorbed by a group, but it's very personal and direct.

Furthermore, when someone has accepted the mussar and is requesting further guidance there is no need to be tough with that person. They got it! Now they need to be brought close with the loving right hand.

If the tell-it-like-it-is speaker is just running on the steam of his or her own ego, then it's questionable how much real Torah you're getting.

But if it's real, it can be very good.

Because it's the Truth.

Concluding Thoughts

So these are the main reasons why I think people are more & more attracted to speakers & writers who tell it like it is — even if you don't like it or it's bitter to swallow.

People are fed up with being lied to.
People are sick of obfuscations with regard to Torah (including by some frum people).
People are sick of obfuscations with regard to morality (including by some frum people).
People want to hear good & encouraging things — but ONLY if they're true and therefore, only from people they can trust to also tell them the bitter truths too.
People who are trying very hard to improve are sick of those who could not be bothered to try, or who are even very bad, portrayed as getting a free ride (when they're actually not).

That's just my take on it. It would be interesting to see more reasons why many people are increasingly attracted to this style.

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When Push Comes to Shove, Who am I REALLY? And If It's Not Who I Want to be, How Can I become That Person?

26/8/2019

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A couple of weeks ago, I came across a couple of stories similar to what appeared in Are We Still Longing for Aspects of Mitzrayim?

In Lea Fuchs Chayen's book From the Depths I Call (also written about in Feeling the Pain of Another Jew's Sin), a variety of responses to the horrific events are described.

I can't & don't judge them because it's impossible for anyone to know how any of us would respond in the same situation, may we never be tested by such things.

Of course, I would love to think I'd be like Lea or any of her awe-inspiring friends...like the group of 5 sisters who survived the death camps together — and even "adopted" another young teenage girl (simply because they felt bad that she was all alone), making it a group of 6.

This is particularly jaw-dropping because everyone was starving & freezing, and splitting food and other resources among 5 girls is already heroic, let alone adopt a 6th girl into the group.

Or the teenage girl who literally saved Lea's life by giving Lea the girl's own crocheted undershirt in the winter, which left the girl with only one layer to withstand the elements — and again, in a terribly emaciated state amid inhuman conditions.

It's all such mind-bogglingly heroic compassion.

So yes, I would love to imagine myself responding as gloriously as those Jewish girls, but I can't deny that I could just as easily respond like the girl Lea describes in the death camp who suddenly fell into the delusion that she was an SS dog, and spent the entire night outside the barracks barking terribly and trying to bite people — until she was "taken away."

Or the other teenage Kapo girl who'd been at the death camp so long, she lost her humanity. She screamed abuse at her fellow Jewish girls and used her metal stick freely.

(And even though Lea suffered the Kapo's terrible verbal abuse and gets struck in the head by the metal stick, she compassionately refers to this Kapo as "Poor girl, how long has she been here in Birkenau?...She looks totally mad.")

Early on, Lea notes that the conditions are created specifically to reduce the Jews to animalistic or lunatic behavior, to destroy their souls before destroying their bodies.

In other words, the mental deterioration was clearly part of the Nazi plot and not just a result of the ongoing genocide, but a deliberate part of the whole idea.

Somehow, Lea has the presence of mind to realize this and is able to mentally & spiritually resist this aspect of the Nazi destruction.

So yes, I would LIKE to think that I'd be like Lea and her friends.

But who can really be so confident of themselves?

So we don't judge the less ideal responses & we don't feel superior.

At the same time, we can still glean lessons that apply to us even now.

Stripped of Everything, What is Left?

One of the young women Lea knows from her home town in Hungary was a gymnastics teacher.

Upon first arriving at the death camp, this lovely young gymnastics teacher whispers encouragement to Lea, confident that when their shaved heads grow hair again, their hair will be even nicer & stronger than it was before. Regarding their now-bare feet, the gymnastics teacher whispers that it's actually healthier to walk without shoes and that in a week or two, they will not even notice the lack of footwear.

It's worth noting that Lea and the others are only saved temporarily and "accidentally."

There was not enough room in the gas chambers when they arrived. So they're only being held until there's a lag in the deadly transports for their "turn."

And Lea was desperate to leave the death camp — but not to avoid death.

At that point, she didn't care about life and was actually disappointed she had not died with her family.

However, Lea could not bear the constant smell of burning Jews, accompanied at night by the sight of flames against the dark sky.

This is in addition to the vile conditions, the crazed Kapos, the demonic female SS commanders and their evilly trained dogs, the constant verbal & physical abuse, and the constant threat of a torturous death.

The girls soon discovered that one could volunteer for slave labor in a German factory.

Volunteering meant getting a number tattooed on the forearm before being sent off for slave labor, but that was not a deterrent for Lea or the other girls — except for one young woman: the former gymnastics instructor.

When she and Lea discussed the option of leaving the camp by volunteering for slave labor (which meant a tattoo on the forearm), the gymnastics instructor refused, telling Lea, "imagine what a tattooed arm would look like in an elegant evening dress."

Now.

We don't judge this young woman. We don't imagine we would be better.

Furthermore, holding onto the hope that she will survive and live again is a very strong aspect of survival.

For example, Lea also spoke of her old home life with her friends in the slave labor at the factories. This helped her retain her authentic self.

However, Lea remembered learning Tehillim with mefarshim with her father, seudah shlishis meals in the garden in the summer, her parents' chessed, her grandparents' piety, her older sisters' engagements & weddings & visits with their young children — not elegant evening dresses and the occasions that demand such dresses.

Also, Lea sat with her father at one point during the terrible time before they were transported, and received a clear psak about when she was allowed to commit suicide (only if she was about to be violated). Baruch Hashem, things never reached that point and she later wrote that this psak formed a strong foundation for her survival resolve.

Yes, Lea was lucky that her family remained sincerely frum amid the anti-Torah ideologies that infected Europe, so Lea's memories & inner world contained meaningful content that helped her survive, both mentally & spiritually.

What I mean to focus on is the attachment to the idea of an evening gown (and not a long-sleeved garment that would cover the forearm) and all that entails, and latching on to this idea to the point that, even as you smell your own people burning and see the flames against the sky, you are only concerned about how you'll look in an evening gown.

Meaning, I want to survive this horrific genocide of millions of Jews in Europe for...what?

And who brought the culture of evening gatherings with evening gowns?

The Magyar nobility & the cultured German elite.

These are the same people who crammed you into a ghetto in Hungary, tortured your wealthy ones for their hidden treasures, packed you into inhuman cattle cars, and are burning your people — with the intention of you next in line.

Lea doesn't say what the gymnastics instructor's background is, but if the evening gown culture is what she falls back on, then maybe she didn't have anything else in her background to cling to.

And who is to blame for that?

(Not her, in my opinion.)

Purim vs. Platinum

Similarly, Lea later meets a thirtysomething Jewish woman in the slave labor factory.

Lea's impression of the woman is that she led a rather "dissolute" lifestyle prior to the Nazi invasion. (In other words, she was not only not religious at all, but didn't lead such a savory life by social standards either.)

At one point, right before the end of the war, Lea, this thirtysomething woman, and the other girls found themselves being transported in an open boxcar full of snow.

They were all on the verge of death from starvation and overwork. Lea describes them lying there like "zombies."

Suddenly, Lea manages to pull herself together and remember her resolution to keep track of the Jewish calendar. Realizing that she has not announced the Jewish date for the last 2 days, Lea announces the Jewish date and day of the week, including the startling fact that the next day will be Purim.

Then Lea (despite her near-death "zombie" state) gives chizuk to everyone by expressing the hope that in a few years time, they would all be celebrating Purim in their own homes, surrounded by their families, and finding it difficult to believe then what they were going through now.

(Lea admits that she herself did not believe what she was saying, but her desire to give chizuk & hope on the verge of death in such hopeless circumstances was admirable. Furthermore, it ended up being somewhat true for Lea, who married a wonderful religious Jew with whom she had healthy children, and they indeed celebrated many Purims together.)

To this, the thirtysomething woman said, "Who is Purim?"

Lea then told her a Hungarian word: Farsang.

(Evidently, this woman was so far removed from Judaism, she hadn't even heard of Purim. Also, I looked this up and apparently Farsang doesn't even mean "Purim," but it simply refers to a seemingly pagan-based Hungarian carnival. Again, it probably wasn't her fault. If she'd never heard of Purim, then she was probably raised without any Torah.)

The woman then said, "Every one of you is crazy if you have nothing else to think of."

Then she turned to Lea and invited Lea to visit her "after the war" in her "elegant apartment in Budapest" where she would receive Lea in her "most elegant clothes" while sporting her "long platinum blonde hair."

Again, without being judgmental, the contrast here is striking.

Lea gives the girls real chizuk by encouraging them to look forward to a time when they'll be living Torah lives among a Jewish family home life.

This is something really live for.

Yet this thirtysomething woman not only derides merely thinking about Torah life as "crazy," but shares her own hope that she will be living a decadent, empty lifestyle once again.

What Their Response Says about Us

Again, the point of these stories is not to point fingers.

Well, not to point fingers at anyone except ourselves, anyway.

Why?

Because there are lessons here for us, mussar for us.

For our fellow Jews in those times, when everything was stripped away, you had people yearning for Purim & you had other people yearning for evening gowns.

In other words, you had people looking forward to renewing a Jewish life & you had people looking forward to renewing a non-Jewish life.

I'm not talking about people so traumatized that they couldn't believe in God anymore.

I'm not talking about people who became crazy or violent in a crazy & violent hell not of their making.

I'm talking about people who at their very essence (through no fault of their own) had nothing to hold on to except the very culture (Europe/Esav) that created this horror in the first place.

And I've been really thinking a lot about this myself:

Who am I?

How much Yiddishkeit have I really internalized?

Do I have yearnings for aspects of a non-Torah lifestyle?

Is there any part of me that still yearns for Mitzrayim and its ridiculous cucumbers and meaningless fleshpots even as I am surrounded by Ananei Kavod (Clouds of Glory) and feasting on mann? (so to speak)

Looking around today, how many people would chose to stay in a death camp in the hope of a WiFi connection or to see who wins in their favorite reality show?

How many people's main fantasy would be about regaining their Twitter account or their feel-good drugs (legal or illegal) or their Harry Potter books "after the war"?

You can go on and on with this list because the bombardment of "Mitzrayim" has never been as powerful or as all-encompassing as in our generation (which is melamed zechut on us, but still).

Am I Nourishing My Neshamah Enough?

It's always hard to produce a post like this (and thus, I've only done it a few times) because it can so easily be misunderstood as judging people I've no right to judge and feeling holier-than-thou about people who were usually much better than me.

That's not how I feel & that's not what this is about.

Like I said, how do I know that I wouldn't be a violent cursing Kapo or a barking & biting dog-girl or living for the sake of an evening gown?

I don't know that I wouldn't!

Who can believe in their own goodness with so much confidence?

Not me.

The point is to ask myself:

Who am I REALLY?

How deep & internalized are my Torah values?

How nourished is my neshamah?

And it's not to prepare ourselves for a similar test — b'ezrat Hashem, we will NEVER be tested in such a way!

On a practical level, we can ask ourselves what we're eager to do when we have some free time to ourselves:

Are we eager to:

read that novel that's kind of kosher, but anyway, we just skim over the not-so-kosher parts
check social media
finish off the all the leftover Shabbos desserts
fume & obsess (with no practical benefit) over the behavior of a co-worker, boss, family member, or someone I saw on the street

Or do we look to utilize that time to:

Make some kind of cheshbon hanefesh
Daven Mincha
Talk to Hashem as we would our Best Friend
Write or verbalize a gratitude list
Listen to a shiur
Read a dvar Torah or learn halacha
Spend time with my child
Spend time with anyone else who needs it

Of course, this list can also go on.

And yes, there are also mundane yet necessary things, like running errands, taking a much-needed nap, exercising, and so on, that are worthy endeavors.

For example, if you skimp on buying your child some much-needed new shoes or let necessary foods run out because you're saying Tehillim, then that does not make you a spiritual person.

The point is one of priorities.

Probably many of us wobble between the two sides.

Sometimes we spend our time wisely and meaningfully, and sometimes we indulge our baser nature.

Yet any step we can take in the higher direction can eventually lead to amazing spiritual progress.

The point is that by making ourselves as Torahdik on the inside as the outside (if not even more) and by nourishing our neshamah so much that it will naturally produce illumination in even the harshest times, then we are achieving both personal and National tikkun.

In other words, we'll be accomplishing what Hashem put us here for as individuals and also what Hashem wants to achieve through Am Yisrael.

It also sweetens din, both on the personal level and for the whole world.

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Why are an Increasing Number of Us Looking to be Whacked Upside the Head?

25/8/2019

6 Comments

The comments (particularly the first by Elliot Brill) in Where Does the Swiftly Oncoming Jewish Future Lie? got my brain up & running.

While there has always been a stream of people attracted to a tell-it-like-it-is approach, I do feel like attraction to that approach is growing.

Why is it that in many cases, the "conventional sugar-coated" kiruv either doesn't work or is only attractive for a while before the person goes off to look for something more?

(In some cases, the search for more leads such a person to the "no-holds-barred" approach, while in other cases, one goes off the derech completely. And of course, others remain within the softer approach forever.)

There's a lot to it I think, but I'm only going to touch on it superficially in this post.

(It will be covered more deeply in future posts.)

Why was a Teacher's Wrong Approach So Right for Fraidy?

Let's look at the following illustrative true story:

A newly married American Beis Yaakov girl (let's call her Fraidy) described an experience that once occurred during the first week of her post-high school seminary in Eretz Yisrael.

One of her classmates came to class with something not quite up-to-par in tsnius.

The head teacher made a brief yet forceful statement of condemnation to that girl in front of the others. (Something like, "That kind of thing is NOT acceptable here; go change it immediately.")

The other girls were shocked and disapproving of the teacher's response, which they felt contained excessive & unnecessary force.

(And I think they were right.)

But Fraidy relished it.

Why? Is Fraidy a sadist? Does she enjoy seeing her peers publicly rebuked & humiliated? Or maybe Fraidy is a religious zealot who feels that even the slightest deviance in halachah demands an excessive response?

When Nothing is Really Wrong, Then It's Hard to Know What's Really Right

Fraidy is neither a sadist nor a zealot.

Fraidy is a very nice & pleasant young woman with great middot who relates to others in an appealingly open & personable manner.

She personally would not speak to a student (or any other person) that way.

Fraidy also has the insight to know that her reaction was different than that of her classmates because of her background.

Her seminary classmates had attended Beis Yaakov schools with girls from equally strong frum backgrounds.

But not Fraidy.

She explained that while she'd attended Beis Yaakov her whole life prior to seminary, her Beis Yaakov received students from a wide variety of backgrounds.

(In places where Beis Yaakov is the only frum girls education available, you'll see that they often feel responsible to accept any Jewish girl who applies, even if her family isn't so frum. And they are correct to do so and have saved many souls with this approach.)

But in dealing with such a wide variety of students, these Beis Yaakov teachers were forced to tone down their approach.

And again, they were correct to do so.

You can't demand the same adherence & understanding of a girl who wears jeans when she's not in uniform as you can of the daughter of a rosh yeshivah.

You have to deal with each person on their level.

So while growing up in this environment affected Fraidy in many positive ways, the one downside was that right-and-wrong weren't always clear.

In other words, the bottom-line halachah itself was not always clear.

In an effort to avoid overwhelming & pressuring girls from weaker backgrounds, the needs of girls from stronger backgrounds weren't nourished as much as they needed.

So when, for the first time in her life, Fraidy encountered a teacher who was uncompromising in halachah, Fraidy cheered on the inside.

(This is even though Fraidy knew that this forceful method could also be turned on her. But to her, the clarity was worth it.)

And indeed, Fraidy thrived in her new seminary.

What Do Girls Really Need & Why Did Fraidy Need Something So Different?

So now we have more background on why Fraidy appreciated this no-holds-barred approach in chinuch.

Fraidy was used to a murkier approach to halachah, so the crystal-clear approach (even though it was a bit harsh) slaked her thirst for clarity & Truth.

But the question still remains: WHY?

After all, the teacher's approach really wasn't a good one, especially for girls chinuch.

Furthermore, this new post-high school seminary was a very good seminary comprised of very good & sincere girls from solidly frum homes like Fraidy; there's no need to be so tough with them, especially in a public situation, which is humiliating.

In a nutshell, girls need firm boundaries, a solid understanding of all the halachot that apply to them, and a nurturing approach (i.e., treating them as if they are very good girls who genuinely want to be good, because this is generally true about frum girls also because females are nurturers and nurturing them speaks to their deepest nature).

For many reasons, a tough drill-sergeant approach is generally very bad for girls —especially in a group situation.

(Yes, there's a time & place for even this method, but generally, it's a bad idea.)

Yet Fraidy thrived on it, even though she isn't that way herself and even though, as her peers noted, the approach really was too harsh.

Doubt Leads to Crippling Inertia - Certainty Enables Growth & Progress

There is a popular saying derived from Metzudat David on Mishlei 15:30:

Ein simcha (ba'olam) k'hatarat hasfeikot — There is no greater joy than the resolution of doubts.

Doubt cripples a person.

Lack of clarity prevents growth.

A person who isn't sure what path to take finds it difficult to continue forward.

A person can wrench themselves up a hard road, but ONLY if it's meaningful — ONLY if that road is that one that truly leads to their destination.

Can you have mesirut nefesh for something you're not sure is so important?

Can you push yourself out of your comfort zone if you're not sure that doing so will lead to a mitzvah, sweeten din over Am Yisrael, and increase your portion in the World to Come?

In today's world, there is such a heavy, suffocating "Everything goes" and "I'm okay, you're okay" attitude that mires everybody down.

It's impossible to free yourself of the mire if you're not sure what's really right & what's really wrong.

People who want to move forward, people who are ready to grow even if it hurts, are increasingly looking for answers & guidance that get them to where they REALLY want to go.

And sometimes that's only found with people who don't hold back.

(Not always, of course, but at least the more forthright speakers are easily understood.)

6 Comments

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Eikev: Falling in Love with Hashem Every Day & What Saying 100 Blessings a Day REALLY Means

22/8/2019

2 Comments

Rav Miller's dvar Torah on Parshas Eikev 2 – One Hundred Blessings is full of his usual insights and practical applications.

Mesilat Yesharim states that all the components for personal perfection in serving Hashem are found in the verse Devarim 10:12-13.

And they are:

To fear Hashem Elokecha
To walk in all of His Ways,
To love Hashem
To serve Hashem with all your heart & all your soul
To keep all the mitzvos of Hashem & to keep all His Laws

To achieve this, says Rav Miller, takes learning (you need the knowledge to know how to keep the mitzvot and also to know what are His Ways) and making a mental & emotional shift.

If you're male, learning Shas can bring you very close to Hashem.

Rav Miller also recommends learning the following 3 books cover-to-cover many times:

Mesilat Yesharim (Pathways of the Just)
Chovot Levavot (Duties of the Heart)
Shaarei Teshuvah (Gates of Teshuvah)

That's pretty heavy-lifting, as Rav Miller notes.

This learning is very important.

But there is also an easier way...

100 Happy Feelings a Day

Rav Miller extracts some precious advice from the Gemara (pages 3-4):

A hundred times a day you have to thank Hashem.

Now, whether it means technical brachos [like "Baruch Ata Hashem Elokeinu Melech Haolam"]...or saying your own words, “I thank You Hashem for this. I thank You for that,” it’s all included – a hundred times a day we have to thank Hashem and that’s going to bring you to all of the great qualities.

The hakdama, the preface to yirah and ahavah and all good things in that possuk [verse], is to make a hundred brachos every day.

It's worth reading the actual dvar Torah because Rav Miller details everything a lot more than this post.

But in short, Rav Miller emphasizes the importance of feeling the gratitude 100 times a day.

Whether you say a halachically worded bracha (like al netilat yadayim) or your own expression of gratitude, you need to actually feel it.

Why do we say brachot?

Rav Miller quotes his rebbe from Slabodka, who quotes the Kuzari:

"It adds pleasure on pleasure when one says blessings."

This is so true.

If you've ever followed Rav Miller's advice and really looked at all the positive attributes of an apple, then said borei pri ha'etz with kavanah, and then bit in...the apple tastes DELICIOUS.

It is a sign of the strength of the yetzer hara that we get cooled off from saying blessings with warm kavanah because saying the brachot makes everything taste, smell, and feel better!

Rav Miller explains that Rebbi Meir in the Gemara did not mean that you just count up your brachot, i.e. 16 from the Morning Blessings, 5 more from Birchas HaTorah, 19 from each Shemoneh Esrei...

That's all excellent, but not enough.

Instead, Rav Miller emphasizes:

"You must be happy and grateful to Hashem one hundred times a day!"

Falling in Love with God All Over Again

At this point in the dvar Torah (starting from Part II: Walking the Pathway on page 8), Rav Miller invites you to join his "walking club" and takes you through your day from the time you wake up and points out (with insight & humor) all that you have to be grateful for.

You have to read it. It helps so much.

Here's one sample of something you can do right away (if it's daytime by you).

Rav Miller says:

“Why is the sky blue?” ... And I’ll tell you a secret – it's good you came here tonight. There’s a reason why it’s blue.

It’s for you to enjoy the sky.

The color blue is soft and sweet on the eyes (Chovos Halevavos, Bechina 5), and you’re expected to enjoy it.

Isn’t that a good thing to practice? See if you can do it tomorrow morning.

Rav Miller also encourages us to take note of any disabled people we see (in a discreet & respectful way) to feel more gratitude for what we have (while at the same time wishing them well, a refuah or whatever they need, in our head).

Seeing a blind person or a toothless person should awaken gratitude within those of us who are not blind or toothless.

Finally, at the end of the day, you say Bedtime Shema with all its accompaniments, and you go to sleep (page 16):

So as you fall away into dreamland you’re still thanking Hashem.

That’s the last thought you have as you drift off into your sweet sleep. “Thank You, Hashem, for giving me a pillow and a mattress and for giving me the gift of sleep. I love You, Hashem.”

And in a few hours we’ll be getting up again to say modeh ani again and to start loving Hashem all over again.

"...to start loving Hashem all over again."

It all sound so nice.

Anyway, to sum it up, this kind of gratitude is self-transforming.

This is how you make yourself into a true eved Hashem.

This is how you achieve the 5 goals commanded in Parshat Eikev.

Let's conclude with Rav Miller's final words:

"If we’ll enjoy this world one hundred times a day, and if we express our gratitude to Hashem each time, that’s the royal road to happiness in this world, and to the perfection in avodas Hashem that brings you eternal happiness in the Next World."

As always, credit for all quotes goes to Toras Avigdor, may they enjoy growing success.

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Forward>>

The Hidden Truth: How Eliezer Ben-Yehudah Nearly Caused the Mass Expulsion of the Entire Jewish Population under the Ottoman Empire, & Who were Ultimately Saved by the Wise Intervention of the Sephardi Sage Rav Yaakov Shaul Elyashar & the Ashkenazi Sage Rav Shmuel Salant

​Saved by the "Black Arm" of a Complete Tzaddik

Big Government Agendas Cause Big Problems

Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld Makes True Peace with Jordan - WITHOUT Any Dangerous or Disruptive Concessions

The Love of a Tzaddik for Eretz Yisrael is Greater than Anyone Else's

The Reality of Torah-Loving Jews who Invested in the Mitzvah of Yishuv Ha'Aretz vs. The Reality of the Torah-Hating Jews who Called Themselves "Zionists": Compare & Contrast

From Whence Came Such Wellsprings of Hate toward Such a Paragon of Love?

A Valuable Resource to Read Again & Again

The Profound Humility & Insight of Rav Isaac Sher of Slabodka (pg. 7)

How Drawing Intelligent Parallels Reveals the Truth

Mandatory Female Draft is an Anti-Female Agenda

What are the 3 Factors Often Necessary before Girls & Women will Seek Assistance?

What Happened to the Israeli Superwoman All of the Sudden?

The "Freeze" Response Cannot Always be Overcome

Prevention is the Real Key to Fighting Abuse

Army-Training for WHAT?!

Some Very Real (& Very Tragic) Results of Female Enlistment in the IDF

Countering the Propaganda

Liar, Liar, Facts on Fire

Searching for Answers

People (especially those who've suffered) Need Validation & Very Often, The Straight-Shooters are the Only Ones to Offer This Validation

If I Can Trust Him to Tell Me the Bitter Truth, I Can Also Trust Him to Tell Me the Sweet Truth

Is There Any Harm to a More "Gevurah" Approach?

Concluding Thoughts

Stripped of Everything, What is Left?

Purim vs. Platinum

What Their Response Says about Us

Am I Nourishing My Neshamah Enough?

Why was a Teacher's Wrong Approach So Right for Fraidy?

When Nothing is Really Wrong, Then It's Hard to Know What's Really Right

What Do Girls Really Need & Why Did Fraidy Need Something So Different?

Doubt Leads to Crippling Inertia - Certainty Enables Growth & Progress

100 Happy Feelings a Day

"You must be happy and grateful to Hashem one hundred times a day!"

Falling in Love with God All Over Again

"If we’ll enjoy this world one hundred times a day, and if we express our gratitude to Hashem each time, that’s the royal road to happiness in this world, and to the perfection in avodas Hashem that brings you eternal happiness in the Next World."

Myrtle Rising

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