Blog Posts

Rav Avigdor Miller on July 4th, American Independence Day

4/7/2019

Curious about the hashkafah of a big talmid chacham to the Fourth of July?

Here's Rav Avigdor Miller on American Independence Day:

Should a religious Jew hang a flag out on July 4th? (Yes.)

Should we celebrate July 4th? (Rav Avigdor Miller on July 4th & the wicked liberals)

What should our attitude be towards the phenomenon of flag burning that we have been witnessing in recent months? (Boo!)

And this one below, I received in my email subscription to Toras Avigdor:

Q:
Why did Hashem make the United States such a rich country?

A:
Why did Hashem give prosperity to America? Now that's a question you'll need Hashem to answer, but I’ll take my little one cent brain and I’ll say a s’vara. I’ll say that it was because America allowed the Am Yisroel to come here and it gave them opportunities to live with full rights. Other countries didn’t do that all the way back; but America, right from the beginning, gave us full rights.

It’s not America’s fault that we misused those rights. It’s not America’s fault that we came and forced our way into gentile communities where we didn’t belong - that's not the fault of the gentiles. But Hakodosh Boruch Hu gave America a certain reward because of its kindliness to the Am Yisroel.

In addition, America was once a decent country. At first, America was a very moral country. You still see on the coins, “In G-d We Trust.” I don’t know how long it’s going to last. The Supreme Court one of these days will strike it down. Imagine such a thing - a country that writes on its coins, “In G-d We Trust" They deserve a reward just for that! So America at one time deserved all this prosperity. What’s going to happen in the future, I cannot foretell.

-Tape # 830 (June 1991)

0 Comments

URGENT: We Have Less Than 9 Days to Help Release Our Brother Held Captive in the Ukraine

3/7/2019

2 Comments

I just read on Neshama's blog (ALERT: Pidyon Shvuiim) about the travesty that just happened to the young Amar family. (Thanks for publicizing this, Neshama.)

While visiting kivrei tzaddikim in the Ukraine, this couple, their baby, and the young wife's mother got into a terrible car accident through no fault of their own.

Instead of taking the young husband to a hospital to be treated for his injuries, Ukrainian police took him to jail instead and put him in a cell with 2 Muslims.

The prison is demanding $200,000 for his release. Time is of the essence as the prison has apparently put a 9-day limit in place.

There is no need to explain that every dollar (or shekel!) counts, no matter how small the amount.

Please click on the following to contribute to the Verified Campaign at the Chesed Fund:
thechesedfund.com/cause/mitzvas-pidyon-shvuyim-my-husband-is-being-held-in-ukrainian-jail-please-help-us-save-his-life

Tizku L'Mitzvot!!!

2 Comments

Recommended Free Sign-Up: Healing Emotional Atrophy through Reconnecting to Torah

2/7/2019

0 Comments

If topics like The #1 Path to True Greatness & Achieving Your Absolute Best: Rejection, Isolation, and Being Quashed appeal to you, you might be interested in signing up for a weekly e-newsletter I signed up for a few weeks ago on the recommendation of an astute reader, after that reader forwarded me a sample.

I waited until now to recommend this newsletter because I wanted to make sure it wasn't the same ol' secular psychobabble dressed up in frum garb and sprinkled with Yiddish terms.

In other words, I wanted to see if it's genuinely beneficial - and it is!

H.E.A.R.T. (Healing Emotional Atrophy through Reconnecting to Torah) Initiative is produced by a woman named Shiffy Friedman.

And like I said, this isn't a case of shooting the arrow of psychological theory, then drawing a Torah bull's eye around the landed arrow to make it look like it's hit a Torah bull's eye.

Here's what she wrote in the introductory email:

I came to the realization that my knowledge in psychology, no matter how many courses I took and clients I treated based on that knowledge, was not helpful in healing the profound nefesh.

The nefesh is an infinitely complex and majestic entity that needs a very particular approach in order to feel true simcha and fulfillment. And the one and only guide toward accessing this direction toward emotional and spiritual wellness is the Torah.

The more I realized how I and the people I was counseling were benefiting from this ultimate fount of wisdom, the more I wanted to share these teachings with my fellow Yidden.

Thus, I launched the HEART Initiative, whose goal is to provide a springboard for emotional and spiritual growth from a Torah perspective to every Yid who seeks it.

"...was not helpful in healing the profound nefesh."

How many people are able to admit that after investing so much money, so many years, and so much time in their career?

I have enormous respect & admiration for people who are able to make this kind of turnaround in their mentality and then apply it to their lives.

It's indicates someone who has really done the necessary inner work, which is definitely someone I can learn from.

In my eyes, it resembles the gevurah of Yitzchak Avinu who was able to acknowledge that the view he held of Esav his whole life ended up not being the real deal. (Although there is a LOT more to that than this superficial one-sentence sum-up. In other words, it's not that Yitzchak Avinu wore rose-colored glasses with Esav; it was much deeper and more complex, as elucidated by Chazal.)

Anyway, the observations expressed in HEART Initiative are refreshingly honest and the recommendations and exercises are genuinely helpful.

I wasn't asked to recommend this nor does she know I'm doing it. We don't know each other at all.

I just think that it's a genuinely helpful perspective based on Torah sources.

A variety of topics are covered. So far, I've seen: guilt, boundaries, thinking, emotional maturity, and more.

For example, most recently, she has been discussing how much fear acts as a hidden motivator for so many people. Oftentimes, we respond from a place of fear without even realizing it.

We think our motivation is something else when it's actually fear.

And then she offers recommendations for dealing with that in a beneficial manner. (It's very useful for hitbodedut, BTW.)

To sign up, you can send an email to this email:
emotionalwellnessthroughTorah@gmail.com

0 Comments

The #1 Path to True Greatness & Achieving Your Absolute Best: Rejection, Isolation, and Being Quashed

1/7/2019

0 Comments

Because so many roles in the frum community are influenced (or actively borrowing from) Western secular psychology, many well-intentioned people tend to address problems backwards.

For example, many people struggling with frumkeit and their relationship with Hashem describe some kind of rejection in the background.

Maybe it was from their family or maybe from their school. Maybe it was their community. Maybe they stumbled upon a rabbi or rebbetzin who wasn’t the real deal.

Sometimes it was outright rejection, sometimes it was more subtle; like a teacher or parent not addressing their needs fully.

So many concerned influencers in the community put tremendous efforts in curing others of what the "experts" perceive as rejectionism.

(This gets even thornier when the pressure to love & accept people who behave in ways that are truly objectionable and yet unconditional love doesn't seem to help much, if at all. But that's a whole other topic.)

Needless to say, we all need to work on ahavat Yisrael.

We need to work on ourselves, investing in a thorough & regular cheshbon hanefesh, which entails clearing up those blindspots & clearing out those clogged middot.

However...

The problem comes when Hashem is whisked out of the picture, as He always is psychology & sociology.

The Paradox of Emuna & Hishtadlut

Millennia of Torah scholarship shows us that our lives exist within a paradox:

One kind of paradox

Hashem is Only Good and All-Compassionate—yet very evil & cruel things occur in the world.

Some people are meant to be poor—yet we are supposed to do everything we can to help others out of poverty.

(In other words, we aren’t supposed to look at a poor person and say, “Well, obviously, Hashem wanted you to suffer the nisayon of poverty as a tikkun, so why should I give you anything? It’s Hashem’s Will!” That is a cold-hearted, cruel, and anti-Torah way of looking at a person in need.)

So yes, we should work on treating every person with fairness and respect.

If someone is meant to endure a difficult nisayon, we should not be chosen as the stick with which to beat another.

At the same time, people are clearly meant to go through trials in life.

The Recipe for Greatness: Isolation, Rejection, Repression...

As described in a previous post (Loneliness & Rejection as Aspects of Mashiach), experiences like rejection—especially severe all-encompassing rejection—are aspects of Mashiach.

Look at what David Hamelech (the progenitor of Mashiach ben David) and Yosef Hatzaddik (the progenitor of Mashiach ben Yosef) went through.

They were both rejected by their own brothers—brothers who were very great people in their own right!

Being quashed, repressed, and confined in some way also occurred to many supreme Jews in Tanach:

Yosef Hatzaddik, Moshe Rabbeinu, and Yirmiyahu Hanavi were all dumped in prison pits.

Sara Imeinu and Dina were locked in boxes for their own protection.

Being isolated within completely non-Jewish environments is another theme: Yosef Hatzaddik, Moshe Rabbeinu, Daniel, Esther Hamalkah…

Can you imagine being in a place where the tumah is literally pervading the air?

Avodah Zara Makes My Skin Crawl

Many people think of avodah hazara as some ancient Mesopotamian dude bowing down before something like a golden Pillsbury Doughboy statue, as we see today with Eastern mysticism.

No, no, no, no. (Although Eastern mysticism is indeed totally forbidden & extremely harmful.)

Avodah zara is the dark occult.

And it was a highly developed occult back in ancient times. The occult leaders possessed brilliant minds equal to the top scientists of today, and these occult leaders had everything down to a science.

If you were in a palace in ancient Egypt or Persia, you were surrounded by dark and spooky tumah, plus demonic forces—talk about being afraid to look under your bed at night or monsters in closets!

The stench of tumadik incense pervaded the environment. (And you thought smog was bad.)

Not to mention the nearby presence of practitioners brainwashed into sociopathy, who would even sacrifice their own small child in cruel ways.

How would you feel about sleeping in the same building or neighborhood as people who’d done that?

Pretty creepy stuff.

Are You a Potential Moshe Rabbeinu?

I mean, take a look at Moshe Rabbeinu’s experiences, for example:

You see that he grew up in the center of Egyptian avodah zara, which was particularly dark & oppressive tumah.

And he came through that nisayon with flying colors.

Yet upon going to join his brethren, he was proactive in his expression of empathy & justice, and found himself on the run from his fellows, and then imprisoned underground and subsisting on matzah.

That’s rejection with a capital “R”!

Not to mention feeling repressed. He couldn’t fully express his innate nature and talents in a depressing pit. (He couldn’t in Pharaoh’s palace either.)

And Moshe Rabbeinu’s difficulties didn’t stop there.

The very people (the Erev Rav) he tried so hard to help and be mekarev and elevate, not only turned on him personally, but they even messed up everything Moshe Rabbeinu had done for the Am until then! (Yes, I’m talking about the Golden Calf travesty.)

So…was Am Yisrael wrong for letting the Erev Rav work them up into a state of panic and then latching on to the Erev Rav’s advice?

Yes! And we're still suffering the consequences for that until this day!

But this was also Moshe Rabbeinu’s Divinely ordained nisayon.

Are You a Potential Yirmiyahu HaNavi?

If you read through Yirmiyahu Hanavi’s saga, his profound ahavat Yisrael can move you to tears.

Would Yirmiyahu Hanavi have achieved such greatness if everyone had loved him back and been all nicey-nice to him all the time?

NO.

Where is the challenge of loving people who are easy to love? (The Pele Yoetz makes this point HERE. Please scroll down to "No More Blame Game.")

Yirmiyahu Hanavi’s eternally recognized greatness derived from his ability to genuinely love and feel compassion for people who didn’t deserve his love and compassion.

And that’s the lesson repeated throughout Tanach.

Only a Rejected & Despised Stone can be Used as a Cornerstone:
All Others Need Not Apply

It seems that the way to achieve true spiritual greatness and to reach your full spiritual potential is by responding to rejection and repression in the ideal manner.

Even ma’asu habonim hayata l’rosh pinah—The very stone rejected by the experts who know all about the best way to erect buildings?

THAT is the exact stone that ends up as the corner stone foundation of the most important building.

The accepted & even much-lauded stones never had any chance of being the cornerstone.

Why?

Because they weren’t rejected! They were never despised!

The experts LOVED those stones! Everyone oohed and aahed over the loveliness and suitability of those stones.

So those stones never had a chance.

Only a despised & rejected stone has any chance of being the coveted cornerstone.

Let's Be Kind!

So tachlis, what do we do?

First of all, when someone comes to you broken by rejection of any kind, it’s important to empathize. Avot 4:18 warns against dealing with angry or grieving people in a frivolous or overly pious manner.

And if they're so broken or messed-up that they respond inappropriately, we shouldn't embarrass them or see them in that state. (Same Mishnah. Also, in Words of Faith, Rav Bender goes into this concept quite a bit.)

There is a time and a place for everything, as emphasized by Kohelet and repeated by the Pele Yoetz and many, many other talmidei chachamim and tzaddikim.

You have to use your seichel and your sense of compassion.

Yet at some point, the tormented person needs to realize that the very fact of their rejection is meant to be overcome, and not used as an excuse to reject Hashem or to sink into all sorts of forbidden activities.

Whapping society over the head to be more accepting and loving isn’t ultimately the answer because Hashem decreed that this person needs to endure this nisayon.

Again, I didn’t say we don’t need to be more compassionate as a society.

I did NOT say that.

We DO need to develop our compassion & empathy!

But it’s a paradox.

You can’t whomp society and coddle the victim as the ULTIMATE solution.

And you even see that shitah (based on narrow-minded limited-vision psychology & sociology) is not working.

A Bit of Brutal Honesty about the Spiritual Wrestling Match

And probably it’s the very person with the potential to be the rosh pinah, the great leader, the quiet savior, or whatever the ultimate role is meant to be—that’s who is probably being rejected or straight-jacketed.

Rejection and repression ARE painful. EXTREMELY painful.

They’re also infuriating.

That’s the nisayon. We don’t deny pain. That’s not the authentically Jewish way.

Let’s just say it outright:

Being rejected IS painful!

Being straight-jacketed, misunderstood, repressed, quashed, or confined?

VERY painful! And infuriating!

It is! What’s wrong with acknowledging that?

At the same time…

People who can wrestle their way through the pain and the rage to reach a place of love and proactive compassion end up as beings of tremendous spiritual greatness.

And it IS a wrestling match—let there be no illusions about that.

Yaakov Avinu wrestled with Esav’s spiritual force all night.

In a wrestling match, sometimes you find yourself down for the count in a chokehold.

That doesn’t mean you’re a failure. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost.

It’s not hopeless.

It does mean, however, that you need to find a way to scrabble back up again—despite your injuries.

And that’s how it is.

May we all succeed in winning the match!

0 Comments

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Shelach & Parshat Korach

27/6/2019

2 Comments

For Parshat Shelach: Making His Name Great, Rav Miller speaks about chilul Hashem & kiddush Hashem, including compelling examples of both. Then he spends a lot of time talking about gratitude, focusing on fruit, and doing so in a really interesting & witty manner.

Plus, he offers practical tips for improving your derech eretz.

And as usual, he places tremendous emphasis on noticing all the good that Hashem does for us.

Here's an excerpt:

If you sit and look at an apple or an orange for fifteen minutes, you won’t be the same person anymore - I guarantee it.

If you look at the apple for fifteen minutes and think about the wonders that you see there, you’ll see the gilui shechina, absolutely.

And Hashem made the apple for that purpose - so that you should think about Him. He told us that when He introduced us to fruit for the first time: "...v'nechmad ha'etz l'haskil - The fruit is desirable to make wise” (Bereishis 3:6).

Not just to eat.

The real function of the fruit is to make you wise - fruit causes wisdom, yes!

Only that in order to make the lesson more delicious, He makes the apple taste delicious too. It’s like having a gemara printed on sponge cake.

So you’re saying the Rashi, and then you take a little bite from the margin - it’s a geshmaka sugya!

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Korach

For Parshat Korach: On Dangerous Neighbors, we have a discussion about bad neighbors.

As usual, Rav Miller brings the world of Tanach to life and draws us into it.

Ever wonder what it was like when your house caught tzaraat? With Rav Miller, you're suddenly standing in the house and experiencing it all, including the emotional aspect.

He elaborates with vivid visualization (you on a telegraph pole in an attempt to escape a bereft she-bear) on the verse in Mishlei 17:12.

The part about guarding your mind is so powerful and so chilling.

Rav Miller explains why David Hamelech started Tehillim the way he did:

He begins with the following words: Ashrei ha'ish asher lo halach ba'atzat reshaim - “How fortunate is the man who did not walk in the counsel of the wicked” (1:1).

What's this doing here?

We want to hear about great ideals, about kirvas Elokim, emunah, ahavas Hashem. And it's there; it's all there in Tehillim.

But Dovid is teaching us here that it all starts with maintaining a clean mind. You can never really say Tehillim, you can never love Hashem and sing to Him, if your walking with the resha’im and filling your mind with their ideas.

Now, it's not praising the man who just doesn't follow the advice of the wicked.

It means he didn't walk, he didn't even pace the streets together with them. Because if you walk their streets, if you are in their company, then to a certain extent, you are in “the counsel of the wicked.”

Whatever they are thinking, whatever attitudes and feelings they have, is shared by you to some extent. Even a walk down the block with them causes you to be a partner in their thoughts, their attitudes, and their emotions.

And the possuk continues: "...uvmoshav leitzim lo yashav - How fortunate is that man who never sat down in the place where the scoffers sit” [Tehillim 1:1].

Leitzim means jesters.

To sit down let's say in a kosher restaurant, but it's a place where there are other customers; leitzim, jokers, kibitzers, scoffers. Even though they're not laughing - they just came to buy kosher food - still it's a moshav leitzim.

How fortunate you are if you change your mind and decide to go home and take something from the refrigerator!

A Real Moshav Leitzim

It reminded me of an online gathering place for frum people. A few years ago, I read it a couple of times when the topic seemed interesting, but I quickly learned to avoid it.

First of all, you learn very little about whatever topic is running there.

Secondly, it was the most obvious moshav leitzim I'd ever seen. Interestingly, I don't recall anything untsnius or anything clearly forbidden. It was kosher - like kosher narishkeit. Or kosher jelly worms.

A lot of people were just there to crack jokes (regardless of the seriousness & sincerity of the questioner), and part of the reason I felt uncomfortable was because some of these people seemed to lead mechubad lives: an intelligent older frum guy with a large family and married children, plus grandchildren - and he's just shmoozing and cracking jokes?

I get that people need a break from learning, but this was just weird.

It actually makes more sense when people behave rudely online or even speak lashon hara (although both are really bad and totally forbidden) because maybe they got offended by something they read or they feel the need to say something l'toelet haAm (though they're mistaken and should look up the relevant halachot).

But these were people who could & should know better and were doing it anyway.

It's hard to explain the dynamic...just a total waste of time, a moshav leitzim...by people who really could have known better. They weren't carried away by their emotions; they were carried away by their narishkeit. Or something.

"Your desire for kirvas Elokim, will always be perceived by
the friend who stands one rung below you, as extremism.

'Meshuga ish ruach - The man who wants to be a man of spirit is always meshugah to other people' ” (Hosheah 9:7).

- Rav Avigdor Miller

Glatt Kosher Leitzanut

However, there is also kosher leitzanut.

You can make fun of spiritually damaging things that deserve to be mocked.

Judaism is all about embracing the paradoxes in life. It's about balance and figuring out what Hashem really wants (your closeness) and how to achieve that.

As described in a previous post, we live in an upside-down world in which bad things are now considered good.

"And that's one of the most important ways of avoiding the insidious influence of the outside world.

"Through ridicule, by deflating the worth of all of these empty ideals, you protect your own mind from them seeping in."

- Rav Avigdor Miller

His description of baseball, TV (this dvar Torah is from 1974), and magazines is highly entertaining.

Okay, I can't resist quoting what he says about magazines:

You have to watch out what kind of magazines come into your home.

It's very important because your wife and your children also have minds that are just as valuable and just as sensitive as yours.

You think that reading the Orthodox newspapers and magazines is not bringing the shachein rah [evil neighbor] into your home.

Of course, it's a thousand times better than gentile newspapers and television - more than a thousand times!

But that's because bringing a New York Times and the New York Post into your home is not just a shachein rah - it's bringing in adultery, and avodah zarah [idol worship], and shfichas damim [bloodshed] into your home.

You're bringing in a whole troupe of leitzim and apikorsim into your head and into the heads of your wife and children.

But even the Jewish newspapers are full of garbage.

Page after page of this and that and this and that. What about Hakodosh Boruch Hu? Oh, Him? Oh, He's put away in a different section; don't bother me about Him now.

So all of those newspapers are a shachein rah - except that instead of living next door, you invited him into your living room.

It's definitely worth a good read.

It's pretty tough mussar for those of us entrenched in Western society since birth.

But it's delicious at the same time. Nice, juicy mussar!

As always, thank you tons to Toras Avigdor.

2 Comments

Which Jew is Really for Peace?

27/6/2019

4 Comments

My Moroccan-born husband grew up in an immigrant neighborhood in Eretz Yisrael.

The neighborhood consisted of lots of Moroccans, plus a generous handful of Bucharians, and one Danish family who, for some reason, ended up there after making aliyah.

My husband attended the local mamlachti-dati (government religious) school along with the rest of the neighborhood. And he was one of the very good boys, in that he was shomer negiah and always wore his kippah & tzitzit, even when playing basketball, plus he always went happily to shul with his father for all the tefillot & voluntarily attended shiurim at night.

(There are more good things to say about my husband, but to head off any ayin hara, we'll stop here.)

Anyway, he'd gotten into Gemara in his teens. And though he always dreamed of joining the army, he decided to go to yeshivah instead. (For more on that story, please see God Helps: A True Story.)

I asked him how that was viewed in his neighborhood, seeing as everyone went to the army and while people had started off as religious, the secularization process went quickly and intensively.

"It was fine," said my husband. He explained that for all its social problems, it was still a traditional community. Therefore, even the more secular-seeming people still held Torah study in high esteem.

And even though the useless jobnik positions were less back then, people still didn't attack my husband about why their sons had to risk their lives while my husband sat in yeshivah.

They intuitively understood the value of Torah study.

The point here is that, yet again, your average Jew in Eretz Yisrael is not innately offended by yeshivah bochurim not "sharing the burden" of army service.

That unforgiving outrage & seething resentment comes from somewhere else.

Since Shevet Levi in Tanach, the Jewish people have always had Jews who sat and learned continuously.

Mishnah Avot states that the world - not just the Jewish world, but the entire world - stands on 3 things:

the Torah
the avodah (tefillah & serving Hashem, service in the Beit Hamikdash)
gemilut chessedim (acts of loving-kindness)

That's our base and for EVERYONE'S sake, it cannot be weakened.

(And if you examine these 3 pillars, you'll see they're all linked. In other words, you can't have one - or two - without the other.)

And many, if not most, Jews sense this.

So where is the venom coming from? Where is this seething rip-their-eyes-out resentment coming from?

It's being aggressively imposed upon the innocent Jewish people by media incitement and by those with political agendas.

Ani shalom v'ki adaber hema l'milchamah - I am peace; but when I speak, they are for war." (Tehillim 120:7)

Or, as Rashi interprets it:
"I am at peace with them, but when I speak peacefully with them, they come to wage war with me."

4 Comments

Why Today, the 23rd of Sivan, is Such an Auspicious Day for Prayer (so let's use it!)

26/6/2019

5 Comments

A wonderful reader just sent me the following information, indicating that today, the 23rd of Sivan (June 26 this year) is an auspicious day for tefillah.

Why?

Indicated by the following:

In Megillas Esther (8:9), the verse states:

ויקראו סופרי המלך בעת ההיא בחודש השלישי הוא חודש סיון בשלושה ועשרים בו... ויכתוב ככל אשר ציווה מרדכי אל היהודים... והעיר שושן צהלה ושמחה

On the 23rd day of the 3rd month--“Hu Chodesh Sivan” -the king’s scribes wrote all that Mordechai had dictated to them.

Achashveirosh had permitted them to write in the letters--”Katov Be’eynechem--whatever is favorable in your eyes, in the name of the King...”

On 23 Sivan, 355 BCE, Hashem overturned Haman's decree to destroy the Jewish people.

The Luach Davar B’Ito writes that one should recite the relevant verses in Megillat Esther (Esther 8:3-17)

The Lubavitcher Rebbe said, that this is a most auspicious day - as it says in the Megilla that on Chof Gimmel Sivan, "the scribes of the king wrote everything Mordechai commanded".

The King also refers to the Melech Malchei Ha’malachim.

Every Yid can decree whatever he wants, and the scribes of the King will assure that everything is done according to his/her will.

And from In the Days of Mashiach: 23rd of Sivan - Muchan L'Tovah:

In the name of the Makover Rebbe, Zt’l, the day is Mesugal [auspicious] for nisim v’niflaos [miracles & wonders], as implied by the Pasuk referred to above--“Now, write [on this day] about the Jews what is favorable in your eyes in the name of the King”--which also refers to the King of the World. Thus, just as Mordechai subsequently left the King with many royal garments (ibid., 8:15)…so can we!

(It's very worth reading the whole article.)

May we all find the opportunity to use this special day and may all our tefillot be answered l'tovah.

(And thank you, wonderful reader, who alerted us to this special opportunity.)

5 Comments

The Keleh 6 Mesivta

25/6/2019

8 Comments

Israelis are split in their attitude toward time in the IDF Keleh 6 prison up North.

The very clean-cut dati-leumi crowd I hung out with in my new adult years emphasized that prison time was easily avoidable and only screw-ups got sentenced.

In contrast, it seems like the rest of Israeli society opines that “everyone goes to prison at some point.”

The truth is, I met people who got 3 days for not shaving (if they didn’t have a beard permit) and longer if they didn’t return to their base on time. Forging doctor’s notes, resisting a particular role (like if you want to be a foot soldier and they try to put you in a tank), avoiding the draft (“We don’t have enough soldiers watching Friends! Thou shalt share the burden!”), and so on.

And that’s for the minimum security part of Keleh 6. Drugs, hard crime, and such things earn soldiers long sentences in other parts of Keleh 6.

My Son Goes to Prison - But No Worries! They Get Popsicles!

My son, in his goal of getting switched into a combat unit, decided to go on strike. He’d tried normal avenues, even snagging an interview with a high-ranking officer with the power to help him.

Nada.

So he went on strike, which meant that he didn’t show up to base.

The IDF remained unimpressed.

Finally, knowing that he was going to be sent to prison anyway, he decided to turn himself in.

So he bid us farewell and made his way up North where he was received by a prison official, an old kibbutznik wearing a bandana. He greeted my son cheerfully, praised him for turning himself in, encouraged him: “I’m sure you’ll be a good soldier from now on,” then sentenced him to 12 days. (Or maybe he was carrying out someone else’s sentence? Well, something like that.)

This part of the prison, which serves draft dodgers, note forgers, and so on, features tents.

The prison cell is a tent that holds many young men.

My husband and I weren’t sure what Keleh 6 was like, but a family member reassured us that it’s pretty tame because it’s not like a state prison and treatment is pretty decent—“They even get popsicles,” he reassured us.

Popsicles in prison? Why, we have nothing to worry about, then!

The Dedication of Mishmeres Hakodesh

There are also public phones via which your son can call you or you can call him—if you can get someone to find him.

An organization dedicated to freeing yeshivah bochurs imprisoned for draft evasion (“We face a severe shortage of personnel who can sit in an office all day watching pirated movies on their cell phones! Charedim must contribute their share of their burden!”) called us and nonchalantly informed us that our son was in Keleh 6 and did we need them to do anything about it?

Initially, we were puzzled until they explained that although he’d attended a non-mainstream yeshivah (with secular studies and everything), it was a yeshivah nonetheless and as a former yeshivah student, his name appeared on their list when he was imprisoned.

It was very nice of them, and we explained that no, he wanted to be there and they said, fine, but if we need anything, we should feel free to call them back.

Very pleasant and polite for such religious zealots, I'm sure you agree. ;-)

As far as the treatment of the yeshivah bochurs in Keleh 6, my son said he didn't witness them being treated any worse by the wardens (the wardens, especially the female ones, don't behave in a particularly refined manner). The other soldiers mostly ignored them.

Unfortunately, due to media incitement, a yeshivah bachur evading the draft can be despised by fellow inmates more than an inmate who has actually committed a crime. But my son did not personally see active bullying.

Mishmeres Hakodesh also call the public phone repeatedly every day to ask whoever answers if there is a yeshivah bachur there for draft evasion. (They’re always concerned they missed one that didn’t appear on their list.) In return, the imprisoned soldier who answers treats the caller to a string of vulgar curses before slamming down the phone.

How self-righteous.

Sometimes, the soldier tries to accommodate the caller, but usually not.

But these guys put up with the treatment and keep calling anyway to see if anyone needs their help.

Actually, someone did try to take them up on their offer to help, but he couldn’t hide his Muslim religion for long, so that fell through.

Prison Shrews Share the Burden Too

Also, many of the wardens are girls.

And this may sound shocking to people with their head in the sand, but young rowdy guys of this age do not take orders from young women seriously.

So the girls resort to shrieking and verbal abuse, and telling them things like, “Look at what a screw-up you are, ending up in Keleh 6 like this, you stupid pathetic zero.”

Not surprisingly, the boys find this entertaining, rather than intimidating.

Also, the wardens play all sorts of minor mindgames to assert their authority over the inmates. He gave an example of the treatment by a 19-year-old girl-warden, but after his initial surprise, he found it amusing.

I kind of wonder if these girls are able to turn off all the shrieky negativity & controlling mindgames when not dealing with mildly delinquent young soldiers, and how that affects their relationships back home and then after their service is over, if they can go back to normal.

But I figure, hey, they’re sharing the burden.

Yeshivah bachurim are just sitting around all day learning Gemara, while these girls are supporting the Zionist enterprise with loud & seething verbal assaults. How could Medinat Yisrael possibly function without them? So I’m just gonna keep my nose out of it. After all, who am I to judge? I don’t share the burden either. (For example, I’ve never seen an episode of Friends. That’s right—not even ONE.)

A Yiddishe Krechtz?

Anyway, there are more rules at Keleh 6 than there are on an army base.

For example, you are not allowed to speak at all in the dining hall. The Chafetz Chaim would approve, actually, because he was against talking while eating because it’s potentially dangerous.

Anyway, during one meal in which only the sound of chewing could be heard, another sound appeared: the sound of choked-back sobs.

Soon, the choked-back sobs turned into the gasped crying as one imprisoned soldier had a breakdown over his hard-boiled eggs & rice.

Because this isn’t The Lords of Discipline, the other soldiers just felt embarrassed & sorry for him. One of the male wardens came over, sat down next to the broken soldier, and tried to comfort him by telling him that it wasn’t so bad here and that he had a really short sentence and that he’d be out soon, and then everything would be all better.

He didn’t suffer any bullying later either. People just felt bad for him.

Day Jobs for Clannish People

My son met several other soldiers who were also there for resisting service in non-combat units.

Then there was a Bedouin soldier there for forging doctor’s notes so he could stay home longer.

Another was there for something else and he eagerly explained to my son his parnasa, which consisted of stealing gasoline from gas stations up and down the country. He usually had a cousin/clan member working at those stations, and that was his connection to the gasoline.

My son isn’t easily shockable, but it floored him to hear someone his age talking about a gas-theft racket as if it’s a regular job. The Bedouin really didn’t seem to realize he was doing anything wrong.

They’re very loyal to their clans and that supersedes national loyalty or basic law—including the 7 Noachide Laws, apparently, which forbid stealing.

"Toto, I've a Feeling We're Not in Lakewood Anymore..." Meets "Big Brother is Watching."

Then, every inmate must do a stint as a guard in the locked-down section.

That’s the place where dangerous or suicidal inmates are housed. It’s solitary confinement, more or less, with a toilet in the cell and everything nailed down, and little barred window way up near the ceiling.

Anyway, the regular inmates need to sit in that room because these people apparently need constant supervision, despite the fact that they are on camera all the time anyway.

In preparation, my son and the other temp-guards were taken to an orientation of what their duties were (“Don’t fall asleep”) and told a scary story of an inmate-guard who dozed off and the guy he was supposed to be guarding crept over and started strangling him, however—the orientation officer gestured to the video screens—these cells are being watched, so the staff noticed the strangulation-in-progress and were able to send forces to stop it in time.

And the message?: “Don’t fall asleep on guard duty. But if you do, we’ve got you covered.”

So the first night, it was really boring. The inmate just slept the whole time.

But the second night, my son was immediately approached by an anxious yeshivah bochur who didn’t understand what he was doing there. Seeing my son in a kippah and tzitzit, he poured out his heart.

What happened was this:
The boy was the child of American charedim who’d made aliyah. A couple of years before he turned 18, the family returned to Lakewood. But, being the idealistic young Yid he is, the boy wanted to go back to Eretz Yisrael & learn in yeshivah.

But he didn’t realize his name was entered into officialdom as a draft dodger, so they caught him at the airport, to his complete bewilderment.

But he needed to have a really good excuse why he could not enlist and stuff himself with American candy bars while watching American sitcom most of the day.

So a psychiatrist, in an effort help him out, decided to write down that he was suicidal (which he was not at all).

And instead of being placed in the regular section with the tents, he was placed in the locked-down section, where the guards have, what my son described as, “soulless eyes” and yell anything they have to say.

So my son reassured him that things weren’t as bad as they seemed, explained what was going on, and reassured him again that there were people working on his behalf to get him out and that he’d be out soon.

And he was.

The Most Effective Way to Get Jewish Boys to Learn & Daven with Cheshek

Anyway, the best part about Keleh 6 is that the boys spent a huge chunk of their day in shul.

The prison shul is nicely designed and air-conditioned (which the tents are not).

There’s davening 3 times a day, plus wonderful shiurim. So whenever there is davening or a shiur, everyone goes to the shul (including the Muslim and Druze inmates).

My son enthused about the shiurim.

He also met a couple of rabbis from his high school yeshivah, who keep tabs on their former talmidim and make it a point to go visit them if they end up in Keleh 6.

Having been very fond of my son, they were thrilled to see him again and he got lots of hugs and kisses. He was also proud of them for delivering such enthralling shiurim.

Really, the best part of Keleh 6 is the plentiful davening & shiurim. It's very geshmak.

So I had this really good idea that maybe the IDF should make a night-sweep of the parks & other hang-outs frequented by at-risk youth and take them to Keleh 6 for six months where they could imbue a constant flow of davening and inspiring shiurim - tefillot & shiurim they would attend BY CHOICE!

Just think of what a life-changing influence that could be.

Anyway, his 12 days ended pretty quickly and he came up energized by the whole experience. You’d think he’d been playing Color War at Camp Simcha or something.

And he came home even more convinced than before that soldiers who aren’t willing to go to jail when faced with an order to expel Jews—those soldiers are spineless wimps.

“It’s not that bad,” he insisted. “I could’ve easily made it through 30 days there. It’s not that big deal.”

And there you go. The Keleh 6 Mesivta.

Note: I feel enormous appreciation for my brothers serving in combat and anyone else standing between a Jew and a terrorist (or a missile). I simply oppose this mandatory draft "Share the burden!" craze, when the IDF clearly has a glut of soldiers in many areas, as detailed in the previous posts. Siding with the Gadolei Hador, I oppose the mandatory draft of yeshivah bachurim & females.

I also oppose the incitement by media and politicians, who rile up severely negative emotions & ideas that people wouldn't otherwise experience without the incitement.

I also feel that rather than chasing down yeshivah bochurim and recently graduated girls, the Israeli government should concentrate on real criminals (like the gasoline-racket guy in prison with my son). In fact, Bedouins live as their own state within a state, committing whatever crimes they want, including murder, with no repercussions (although there are, of course, decent & helpful Bedouin). Yet the government & mainstream media pillories charedim for living as a culture within a culture, even though charedim are not smuggling drugs or weapons, nor do they murder their members (like innocent young girls) due to primitive concepts of "honor." For some reason, learning Gemara in yeshivah is considered so much worse than all that by certain elements of Israeli society.

Most Jews in Eretz Yisrael are good. Those who aren't yet religious have tremendous potential to become sterling Jews. Yet much good is held back by those with warped priorities.

That's all.

For more stand-alone posts in this series (for which I still haven't figured out a title), please see:

8 Comments

Feeling Battle-Weary & Overwhelmed? Here's Why That Means You are So Amazing

23/6/2019

0 Comments

The Battle for Jill's Soul
(Spoiler Alert: Jill loses the battle; but hopefully, she'll still win the war.)

A woman I knew who’d been one of the more dedicated Jews in the movement for Conservative (which is actually destructively liberal) “Judaism” finally made the leap into real mitzvah observance. In her late thirties, she got married and had a baby.

She’d been one of the adults I’d especially liked as a child and I was very happy about her progress.

As I was young single girl who was also starting to keep mitzvot according to authentic Torah, this woman (we’ll call her “Jill”) called me one night to see if I could come over and babysit her sleeping baby. Her husband was out of town.

It was her birthday and she would be going out with old friends to celebrate. After she finished showing me what I needed to know, her friends showed up.

Two sour-faced childless unmarried women approaching 40, dressed in jeans and windbreakers. Jill looked both happy and nervous as she waved them in and invited them to make themselves at home.

Perched on Jill's sofa, they looked at me unsmilingly.

“Oh, this is the babysitter,” chirped Jill.

Giving me the once-over, their faces soured even more. “Are you Orthodox too?” one asked.

“Yes,” I said as pleasantly as I could under the sour Gaze of Disapproval.

“Oh,” she said.

They made a couple of other low-key comments that I can’t remember, but implied that it was unfortunate that I was throwing my life away so young and did I really want to do that? Oh, I did? So in that case, I'm probably really dumb and not worth another glance.

And as an aside, I've always found these kinds of encounters so odd.

I looked so bad in their eyes; did they have any idea how THEY looked to me?

Their pinched-faced childless unmarried middle-aged judgmental anti-religious personas made me want to run as far as I could from being like them.

I mean, what was I supposed to think, just out of my teens? "Gosh, by the time I'm 37, I sure hope I'll be a sour, judgmental, unmarried, childless, secular career woman just like YOU!" Why on earth would I think that? Why are they the act to follow?

So weird.

Anyway, Jill tried to be pleasant, but she was clearly out of her comfort zone. These were her good friends going all the way back to college, and their disapproval stabbed her like nasty needles.

As they tried to decide where to go out to eat (there were hardly any kosher options in our area), the sourness on their faces tightened into a grim silence.

Apparently, options like an ice cream parlor (where most of the flavors were kosher chalav akum) were beneath their lofty standards.

But Jill tried to keep up her side of things.

Finally, one of the said something like, “You can’t even go out to a good restaurant even on your birthday just because of keeping kosher?”

Ouch! The classic anti-BT guilt trip!

Then the name of a popular treif steakhouse came up.

Jill squirmed under the pinched disapproval of her friends as she struggled with the decision.

Finally, Jill said, “Well, I haven’t eaten anything unkosher for a year. I’ve been really good about keeping kosher for such a long time and it IS my birthday, so I guess I can treat myself to a steak just this once.”

Her sour-faced friends looked only slightly mollified, as if Jill had finally said the only logical thing to say, and they all got up and left.

I was floored.

But the truth is, many of us have a tendency to do that kind of thing.

Just Check Out that Dessert Menu!

Sure, in Jill’s case, it was more extreme. But most people feel that, after intense mitzvah-focus, they can let themselves go a little. “After all, I’ve been so good!”

It’s the Dessert Mentality.

“I force-fed myself all the nutritious food put on my plate, so now I can treat myself to something of absolutely no nutritional value that exists simply to serve my taavah.”

This is why, on vacations, you’ll see otherwise very good boys from good yeshivahs treating themselves to outings with no possibility of a minyan 3 times a day. Or davening at home.

And what do we struggle with after having been soooo good?

Eating things we shouldn’t.

Reading things we shouldn’t.

Watching things we shouldn’t.

Saying things we shouldn’t.

Wearing things we shouldn’t.

Doing things we shouldn't.

Exploding over something with the excuse of “Sorry, but I’ve just been bottling it up until now and I just couldn’t keep a lid on it anymore” - sound familiar?

In other words, I’ve been so good, I deserve to indulge in a temper tantrum “just this once.” (As if it’s really only "once"…)

Even if it's not in the league of absolute treifus like Jill's "treat," the "treat" we choose for ourselves may not be beneficial.

Vanquishing the Yetzer Hara with Its Own Weapons

Yet these things aren't black-and-white.

Can the "treat" or "dessert" be beneficial?

If so, when?

Well, we do need to recharge our batteries.

Sleeping in, an afternoon nap, an outing, a picnic, a barbecue, dinner at a restaurant, relaxing on the sofa with a good book, a refreshing swim, a large mochachino with a good friend—these are all rejuvenating activities (if done without violating basic halacha & without becoming a way of life).

Likewise, satisfying a small taavah can help overcome a big yetzer hara.

For example, if it works when you promise yourself a few chocolate truffles after a week of scrupulously guarding your tongue, including in some very trying situations at work or among a family gathering...then do it!

Similarly, let’s say that losing 7 pounds equals overcoming your food taavot for an entire month. Does the reward of a swim help you achieve that? Or the promise of a new (kosher) book?

Then what’s wrong with that?

Even better, if these rewards encourage you to repeat your positive behavior, ingrain a new & holier habit within you, then that’s excellent.

The problem comes when the encouragement or reward becomes a needed dessert that you must have every chance you get, a feeling of magia li—I deserve it. The Entitlement Mentality.

I don’t think it has ever been as hard to avoid the Dessert-Entitlement Mentality as in our generation.

Availability Awakens Taavah

The Kli Yakar explains that when something takes too much effort to acquire, we lose our taavah for it. (Please scroll down to "Advice for Holy Eating" in Parshat Re'eh.)

In his times (1550-1619), the Kli Yakar didn’t see much taavah for game meat.

The struggle for, say, venison:

braving the wild forest
hunting the deer
capturing it
getting a qualified shochet together with it
then the kashering and roasting of it...

...way, way too much trouble.

So people weren’t craving venison much.

Likewise, based on my reading, people maybe craved a drink of cool well water in the summer, but not ice cream. Ice cream either wasn’t available at all or it meant digging up a block of sawdusted ice stored underground from the winter. Then making custard and so on with the primitive process of making ice cream.

But in our times, every kind of taavah is available and at hand. And if it’s not actually free, it’s probably affordable.

For example, junkfood is much cheaper and more readily available than healthy food. Even an easy fruit or vegetable demands washing or peeling before eating. A simple salad means washing and chopping up lettuce; you can’t just take lettuce out of its wrapper and stick it in your mouth.

Others have said it before, but it deserves repeating:

This lowly generation is also an amazing generation.

Bad is the New Good

With so many temptations literally at our fingertips (the very thing which the Kli Yakar explains actually kindles taavah), then it’s amazing that anyone puts up any kind resistance at all!

Even more impressive for yetzer-tov wannabees, society no longer disdains taavahs:

Being a gossip girl can be a badge of honor.
A foodie, rather than being considered a glutton, is now considered a mumcheh.
Dragging someone’s name through a swamp now parades you as “honest” and “courageous”—no matter if the defamation is true or not; and if true, whether it’s necessary or not.
Foul language shows you’re cool.
Expressions of anger can be considered healthy and assertive.
The continuous inhalation of news, trivia, and other mostly useless information stamps you as “well-informed.”

The opposite of any of the above is considered bad nowadays.

Repression—whether of anger or any other taavah—is the new cardinal sin.

Yet wondrously, there are still many people who at least struggle to do battle against all that.

The Thrill of the Fight

People struggle against the constant arousal of the yetzer hara, the wide & enticing variety of yetzer haras, the ease & social acceptance of submitting to the yetzer hara, the pressure to submit to the yetzer hara, and the social condemnation against NOT submitting to the yetzer hara!

Resistance against the dessert-entitlement mentality takes constant vigilance, self-honesty, and self-discipline.

Plus, you’re not supposed to be a miserable kvetch about it—it should be done b’simcha.

And that's why you might be feeling battle-weary...because you ARE battle-weary.

It's a battle.

So really, you should be thrilled with yourself for even attempting to engage in any kind of battle with this engulfing monster of minions.

You’re one in a million.

For more, please also see Why This Generation is So Astounding.

0 Comments

Rav Miller on Imagining Yourself into Greatness & The Profound Power of Tzitzit.

20/6/2019

0 Comments

If you're reading Parshat Behaalotcha this week, Rav Avigdor Miller has his usual gems. It's all about fulfilling your potential even if you have absolutely no way to fulfill your potential.

Parshas Behaaloscha 2 – Pesach Sheini; Opportunities Forever

Just wanting good things earns you reward.

(BTW, Toras Avigdor Junior gets this message across by using ice cream in a modern-day parable.)

For example, if you honestly cannot donate to a certain worthy Jewish cause or you cannot donate more than a little, your sincere disappointment and not being able to earns you reward.

Groaning or sighing over your inability to perform a mitzvah earns you reward.

And it's interesting that in light of this, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov held sighing or groaning in very high regard.

On the other hand, wanting the wrong thing is a problem for the opposite reason.

Rav Miller quotes Masechet Gittin (6b):

המטיל אימה יתירה בתוך ביתו ... והפילה כמה רבבות מישראל

"A person who instills excessive fear in his home - that means that his wife and family are afraid of him - it's as if he killed many tens of thousands of Jews."

Rav Miller goes on to explain that these mini-tyrants would also tyrannize multitudes of people if they were in that position. Angry people can kill (but the law or other deterrents stop them).

So yes, we are judged by our actions. But we are also judged by our desires.

What do you really want?

Rav Miller advises that at least once a day, whether you're sitting on the couch or walking to the parking lot, you should say with real regret and desire:

"Ribbono Shel Olam, please rebuild the Beit Hamikdash."

Rav Miller lauds this as "a tremendous accomplishment."

If you're reading Parshat Shelach this week, Rav Miller goes into a fascinating and witty parable of the importance & meaning of wearing tzitzit, including wonderful advice on how women can also earn reward for this powerful mitzvah.

As Rav Miller says: "And, believe me, there are women who have become greater than men from the mitzvah of tzitzis."

He also paints a compelling picture of even the simplest & most degraded Jew or Jewess as a prince or princess.

(Interestingly, the Kli Yakar describes that the stunning techeilet tzitzit against the pristine white tzitzit symbolizes love and can bring us to great love with each other and deveikut with Hashem.)

It's very, very worth a read:

Parshas Shelach: The Royal Medal

0 Comments

<<Previous

Forward>>

The Paradox of Emuna & Hishtadlut

The Recipe for Greatness: Isolation, Rejection, Repression...

Avodah Zara Makes My Skin Crawl

Are You a Potential Moshe Rabbeinu?

Are You a Potential Yirmiyahu HaNavi?

Only a Rejected & Despised Stone can be Used as a Cornerstone:All Others Need Not Apply

Let's Be Kind!

A Bit of Brutal Honesty about the Spiritual Wrestling Match

Rav Avigdor Miller on Parshat Korach

A Real Moshav Leitzim

"Your desire for kirvas Elokim, will always be perceived bythe friend who stands one rung below you, as extremism. 'Meshuga ish ruach - The man who wants to be a man of spirit is always meshugah to other people' ” (Hosheah 9:7). ​- Rav Avigdor Miller

Glatt Kosher Leitzanut

​"And that's one of the most important ways of avoiding the insidious influence of the outside world.​"Through ridicule, by deflating the worth of all of these empty ideals, you protect your own mind from them seeping in." - Rav Avigdor Miller

My Son Goes to Prison - But No Worries! They Get Popsicles!

The Dedication of Mishmeres Hakodesh

Prison Shrews Share the Burden Too

A Yiddishe Krechtz?

Day Jobs for Clannish People

​"Toto, I've a Feeling We're Not in Lakewood Anymore..." Meets "Big Brother is Watching."

The Most Effective Way to Get Jewish Boys to Learn & Daven with Cheshek

The Battle for Jill's Soul(Spoiler Alert: Jill loses the battle; but hopefully, she'll still win the war.)

Just Check Out that Dessert Menu!

Vanquishing the Yetzer Hara with Its Own Weapons

Availability Awakens Taavah

Bad is the New Good

The Thrill of the Fight

"Ribbono Shel Olam, please rebuild the Beit Hamikdash."

Myrtle Rising

Categories

Jewish Blogs

Jewish Current Events

Jewish Health

Archives

Copyright Notice

Only a Rejected & Despised Stone can be Used as a Cornerstone:
All Others Need Not Apply

"Your desire for kirvas Elokim, will always be perceived by
the friend who stands one rung below you, as extremism.

'Meshuga ish ruach - The man who wants to be a man of spirit is always meshugah to other people' ” (Hosheah 9:7).

- Rav Avigdor Miller

"And that's one of the most important ways of avoiding the insidious influence of the outside world.

"Through ridicule, by deflating the worth of all of these empty ideals, you protect your own mind from them seeping in."

- Rav Avigdor Miller

"Toto, I've a Feeling We're Not in Lakewood Anymore..." Meets "Big Brother is Watching."

The Battle for Jill's Soul
(Spoiler Alert: Jill loses the battle; but hopefully, she'll still win the war.)