Unwanted voices or messages in your head often originate with a person who implanted this voice or message via heartfelt yet misplaced advice.

And this is very individual and fluid.

Someone who is a good influence on one person is an ineffective or even a lousy influence on another person.

Someone who was good for you at one stage of life becomes irrelevant or even detrimental in a different stage of life.
​
We like a lot of people.
 
But there are also people we struggle to like.
 
And it doesn’t mean that the other person is really the problem. Sometimes we see that someone who irritates us within 1 minute of interaction is also the best friend or favorite mentor/teacher/confidant of someone else.
 
And it’s interesting to see how different people and their failings affect us. For example, you can really like a person and maintain closeness despite some glaring flaws. You can also realize that you need to put some healthy distance between you and someone else while still instinctively retaining a certain fondness and appreciation for that person.
 
But other people make you want to run in the opposite direction.
 
And still others plant words or ideas that you struggle to evict from your head. For some reason, a particular person’s voice tunnels into your brain—and it’s not a healthy voice. Their sneering or smirking facial expressions and tone of voice also sometimes pop into your head.
 
Yet another person might also convey nonsense and wrong ideas, but you’re able to shrug that off.
 
Maybe you think it’s because of the person’s role of influence or authority. Is the unhealthy voice coming from an older sibling? A parent or parent-in-law? A rabbi? A rebbetzin? A teacher?
 
That might have something to do with it. But think of how many voices of authority or influence you automatically ignore or dismiss.
 
No, there’s something about THIS person’s voice that’s sticking in your brain.
 
Why is that? What’s going on?

​While I can’t know all the ins and outs of it (I have a feeling it might have to do with some profound and complex soul-root stuff), I sat down with Hashem and followed some advice given by Dr. Miriam Adahan:

Do a Q&A with your dominant writing hand asking the questions and your non-dominant hand writing the answers. (The answer of the non-dominant hand—the left hand if you’re right-handed—will appear in childish scrawl.)
 
And what came up is this:

It’s as if the person whose unhealthy voice sticks in your head has a virus.

​Sometimes, these people also have powerfully positive qualities. They work on themselves & they show a lot of dedication toward Torah and mitzvot.

They also speak from the heart—and their heart isn’t always in the right place.

Sometimes it is. But not always.
 
With their heart in the wrong place, they can impose the wrong values or ideas on you.

Why?

Because words coming from the heart do indeed enter the heart.

To make things worse: When you tentatively try to question their wrongness or defend your own (and in this case, correct) attitude, they stomp you.

They often do so subtlety, like with a smile, a laugh, a good-natured punch-down, an oh-so innocently baffled approach designed to make you feel like your view has no validity whatsoever, “proof” from their own experience (even though we’re not clones and their experience doesn’t nullify yours), a misunderstood source from Chazal or Tanach, etc.

This is because in their heart, they are convinced that you are flawed in THIS particular way.
 
You might even feel like they’re hooking their claws into you and not letting you go.

But in addition to heart-to-heart criticism, there's another reason why some viral messages just won't let you go.

In Words of Faith Vol II pg. 73, Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender states:

​(I assume the original word translated as “coupling” is “l’hizdaveg.” Also, Rav Bender brings proof from Beresheit 3:13 that Chava said that the Snake "hishiani"—tricked/enticed me—which is similar to "hisiani": he married me.)
 
Rav Bender uses this to emphasize the importance of only consulting with tzaddikim (which you can also do through their books and with the Greatest Tzaddik of all: Hakadosh Baruch Hu).
 
Perhaps this is why criticism can be so devastating. It’s a form of advice that, if given improperly (either too harshly or confusing or it’s just plain wrong), harms the other person.

And it's like creating a zivug with that person -- based on criticism and negativity.

It's all wrong.

Finally, it's worth noting that ya'atznu ra or ya'atznu aitzot ra'ot (we advised evil or we have given bad advice) is one of the transgressions listed in Judaism's official Vidui/Confession. Of all the sins that begin with the 10th letter yud, ya'atznu ra/ya'atznu aitzot ra'ot was chosen.

That's pretty significant, eh?
 
But getting back to the virus analogy: How does a viral infection work in the world of microbiology?

​Let’s say, you have a perfectly wonderful person. Ordinarily, there’s no problem spending time with that person. On the contrary, it’s actually GOOD to be with that person.
 
But what if he or she has a virus?
 
And what if you possess a susceptibility to that virus?
 
You’re going to benefit from certain aspects of your relationship with that person—but you’ll also get infected by that person.
 
So you come away from the encounter, maybe even feeling good—but you’re also carrying a new bug (and its accompanying symptoms) that you just can’t shake. So you end up feeling bad too.
 
Interestingly, this doesn’t occur with ALL people.
 
Some people infect you with their wonkiness, and some people don’t.
 
We all have flaws, but we clearly don’t experience everyone else’s flaws as a virus—like a parasite that gets into our brain and doesn’t leave easily.

It's important to realize that the viral voice does not necessarily indicate an awful person. Maybe it does. Or maybe the voice actually belongs to a very good person, but is simply not the right shaliach for you in the place you're holding now.
 
So this is a pretty individual issue.
 
And what can you do?

​Here are some ideas:

Yes, this person has such fabulous qualities!

Avoid demonizing them (unless they really are demonic).

​Tell Hashem what’s good about this person.

​(Noting a person’s good points can secretly bring them to teshuvah.)

But at the same time, recognize that just like a wonderful person infected with a virus, you need to strengthen your own immunity and maintain enough distance so as not to get infected yourself (or not to continue getting infected).
 
Until when?
 
Until you either develop immunity or their "virus" disappears.
 
This includes contact that is only oral or written.

Does the person give shiurim? Call you on the phone or leave messages? Does he or she write articles or poems? Emails? Facebook posts? Tweets?
 
Needless to say, it’s not always possible to do this. Maybe the person lives or works with you. That’s also from Hashem, a nisayon you need to face in order to refine your soul. So you do what you can, knowing that Hashem is in control and guiding you along this particular path.

As you're clearing a healthy space for yourself, you also need to figure out why davka THIS person’s unhealthy voice and THOSE particular words or wrong ideas got so entrenched in your head.
 
Maybe you’ve done/do it to others. (No, this doesn’t mean you’re horrible, For example, maybe you’re really wonderful and generally a great influence on others, but there is one person or maybe a certain type of person that you’ve impacted in a less-than-ideal manner.)
 
Or maybe you secretly think this way about yourself.

​(This is a VERY big reason why the message stays in your head. Rationally, you might know that person’s message for you is all wrong. But subconsciously? What’s really going on? So this should really be explored more deeply.)
 
It’s definitely worth mulling it over with Hashem.
 
You can talk it out, do a freewrite or a mind-map.
 
But there’s a reason why davka this person’s voice and messages are stuck in your brain.
 
And it’s helpful to figure that out.

Tell Hashem you only want HIS Voice and HIS Messages inside you head.

You want His Truth and nothing less.

​This is a beautiful thing to ask for and gives Hashem a lot of nachas.

To sum it all up:

Viral voices develop from:

• Unknowable soul-tikkun issues
• Criticism or condemnation given from the heart
• The effect of zivug that naturally forms upon receiving advice

How to deal with viral voices:

• Treat them like a virus.
• Acknowledge the adviser’s good points.
• Don’t demonize the adviser (unless he or she really is mostly bad—and some people are).
• Maintain your distance (if possible) until the “virus” clears up. (This includes written & oral contact.)
• Via writing and/or talking it out, figure out the deep-seated reason why davka THIS person’s voice has infected your brain.
• Ask Hashem for help.

They're almost finished counting up the votes from the city elections in Eretz Yisrael. Smaller cities have finished the counts while larger cities, especially with soldiers voting outside their cities on faraway bases, are still raking in the final votes.

One of the cities I was most concerned about was Jerusalem, and it's going for Round 2 between 2 candidates, so we'll see how that goes.

But an election revolution that brings a lot of joy is the replacement of Haifa's incumbent mayor by Einat Kalish-Rotem. The other mayor was a real hater. Einat Kalish-Rotem earned the heartfelt support of Haifa's religious population -- and won by a landslide.

(This comes around a year after Rav Chaim Kanievsky termed the former mayor "a rasha" and wished for his downfall.)

Hopefully, this is finally closing the chapter on what was once Rabidly Red Haifa.

But it's not over yet. Kalish-Rotem is not Torah-observant and she's a member of Labor, which is a Leftist party.

​So we'll see how it goes.

I wish Haifa's new mayor a lot of bracha and hatzlacha. May Hashem grant her the wisdom and insight to govern in a way that truly benefits Am Yisrael.

Here is an uplifting video of a chareidi center in Haifa as the results were being announced.

​www.kikar.co.il/295206.html

The rejoicing over the victory of Einat Kalish-Rotem explodes around the 20-second mark of the video when the speaker announces that the hater-mayor only received 30% of the vote. It's followed by dancing in the streets.

​To use a non-Internet example:
If you've ever met people from high-intensity dysfunctional families -- like with lots of yelling and even throwing things -- they have a hard time enjoying feelings of calm or being unrushed or unharassed.

I've met types like this who don't even have "calm environment" as a goal for their own home as adults. They can't imagine such a thing and even find it very uncomfortable when they do experience it.

It's not that they try to imitate the same dysfunction of their home.

For example, one woman like this enjoyed expressing extremes of emotion, whether laughing uproariously or erupting into hysterics, but she never threw anything or hit her kids -- things that had occurred in her childhood home.

She resolved never to hit her children or throw chairs and bowls of soup (not at the kids) like her own mother, but she didn't realize she also needed to let go of the high-intensity emoting too. After ingesting calcium tablets, which unexpectedly induced calm, she complained & didn't want to take them anymore.

But it's important to note that not everyone who grows up in a high-intensity dysfunctional home retains an addiction to high-intensity. Some grow up to abhor any emotional extremes. On the contrary, they crave calm, balanced environments and create very calm homes.

So it depends.

Even from the same family, one sibling grows up addicted to high intensity and the other grows up to abhor it.

​Anyway, that's one of the things I've been working on for a couple of years now. And yeah, I've made some progress, baruch Hashem, which gives me hope for my future.

It's a mitzvah to always be happy.

​But maintaining the emotional state of a hyperactive poodle isn't the goal.

We need to be happy without the "hit."

Related links:
​Did You Get Your Regular Dosage of Awe, Anxiety, and Anger Today?

Why This Generation is So Astounding (see in particular "Your Brain Under Attack")

Are you awed by:
​

• The latest royal wedding gown?

​

• How [fill-in-the-blank with whatever celebrity] manages to look soooo young at age 52?

​

• A cat that imitates human behavior?

​

• An 11-year-old who can sing opera really well?

​

• That a quirky middle-aged pudgy lady wearing white shoes with black stockings could sing "I Dreamed a Dream" so well with no professional background?

​

• A basketball shot from across the court that scores through the hoop just as the final buzzer sounds?

​

• A poorly raised 3-year-old who calls his mother "Linda" and asserts his right to cupcake-disobedience?

​Many people felt awed by the guy who cut off his own arm when it got caught between a rock and a hard place during a hiking trip that went wrong.

They were even more awed by his return to hiking after that debilitating mishap.

O, the great mesirut nefesh to hike up mountains!

(I'm glad he lived through it, of course, and that he doesn't seem to suffer any PTSD from it. But there is more to life.)

Frankly, I'm awed by Rav Simcha Elchanan Wasserman's insistence on going back to Europe in the throes of the Shoah -- just to give chizuk and comfort to those stuck in the genocide -- KNOWING exactly what awaited him.

And there are thousands of other examples of truly awe-inspiring acts.

The thing is that while media has always impacted our emotions and opinions, and while it has always sought to cultivate the most eye-catching headlines and titles while feeding us sensationalized content portrayed as "fact," the Internet has brought this all to a whole new level.

With lists based on solid research, you can choose and adjust your own headline to meet viral standards.

It works.

I mean, how do you think I know about Linda's cheeky 3-year-old or the surprisingly talented singer from a Scottish village?

Yeah, I got sucked into taking a peek at the viral stuff too.

So...the way to resist is to avoid the negative stuff and fill yourself up with truly good things.

"Sur m'ra v'aseh tov -- turn from bad and do good."

Even seemingly kosher or frum outlets usually end up containing forbidden images, lashon hara, meaningless trivia for the sake of clickbait, and more.

It's surprising that after a couple of days avoiding most news sites (although I still think Hamodia is one of the most kosher; it's also the least "viral") and finding more productive ways to spend time....how boring and meaningless it all seems all of the sudden.

​"Why did I find that so compelling before?" you find yourself musing.

Needless to say, talking to God like He's you One True Close Friend, a Friend who's always interested in everything you have to say, a Friend Who can actually help you with ANYTHING, and is never shocked or horrified by anything you tell Him (He already knew all about you), but on the contrary: loves and forgives you no matter what (as long as you 'fess up)...this can help a lot with the viral vacuum.

A real personable connection with Hashem can minimize useless anxiety & anger while increasing truly awesome awe.

​And that's a really good thing.

Recently, a 22-year-old Arab construction worker was killed on site in Beit Shemesh when a construction digger fell on him.

(The digger was held up on supports and the worker had gone down to check the pipes to make sure the pipes hadn't been damaged by the digging. Unfortunately, the workers hadn't secured the supports properly. Furthermore, for extra safety precaution, the worker should not have gone under the digger, but waited until the digger backed up out of harm's way.)

My 21-year-old son happened to be there at the time. (He doesn't know CPR or first aid, so he couldn't help, but the event inspired him to start looking into a course to become a paramedic so he wouldn't need to stand by uselessly if in that situation again, chas v'shalom.)

And this is what my son said happened:

Immediately, the driver moved the digger up off the injured and moved back. Two other Arab workers jumped down into the pit to help the wounded worker. Those 2 were from the same village as the injured and were also his cousins.

The rest of his co-coreligionists whipped out their smartphones and started filming.

(Apparently, poor impoverished persecuted people always have access to the latest technology. And also reliable Internet service.)

Working nearby was an FFB Breslover chassid from Bnei Brak (one of the most despised communities among Israeli Leftists). He rushed to the scene and also jumped into the pit to apply first-aid (something the 2 cousins did not know how to do, so they were standing there crying and shouting helplessly).

Upon seeing that he could not help the injured in such a narrow space, he had the 2 cousins hoist the injured out of the pit.

Now the Breslover started working in earnest on the injured Arab.

This was not easy because, without going into detail, the victim was a mess. He was still alive at this point, but blessedly unconscious. In short, the Breslover ended up with blood all over his bare unprotected hands in an effort to clear breathing space for the victim.

My son also had his smartphone with him, but felt it would be in bad taste to film the event, both because it seems callous to simply film someone's gory dying moments and also callous to treat it like an Instagram-moment when the distraught cousins were right there. (Wouldn't that make the cousins feel even worse?)

However, the other workers did not feel the same and kept their smartphone-cameras centered on the goings-on. They didn't even daven (except for the 2 cousins, of course). Nor did they do teshuvah over not building the supports securely.

O, the glorious display of ahavas Yishmael!

Good thing there was a Breslover chassid around when they needed one.

Anyway, Magen David Adom and Hatzalah arrived, and they worked and worked over the victim. 

The Magen David Adom paramedics were all Jews -- wearing kippahs, mostly. And of course, the Hatzalah guys consisted of the much-despised chassidish chareidi Jews. Also, the Hatzalah guys are volunteers -- meaning, they don't get paid to work in gore and save lives.

Anyway, my son remarked at how impressed he was by the dedication of the MDA and Hatzalah guys. He said they used everything they had to restore the young man back to life and didn't give up on the Arab construction worker until the fatal truth became impossible to deny. Even 20 minutes after everyone was sure he was dead, they kept pumping the blood out of his lungs and doing everything they could to revive him.

Despite the fact that surveys consistently show that at least half of the Mohammedans in Eretz Yisrael are okay with suicide bombing attacks against Jews and other problematic notions, these Jewish (including the much maligned chassidic) paramedics gave everything they had to revive this young Muslim construction worker.

His distraught cousins started crying out "Allahu akhbar!" in their grief.

And the rest uploaded their brand-new video clip to YouTube.

(I'm not joking. My son saw it himself.)

I'm not reporting this to convince anyone who doesn't already know how great Jews -- particularly religious Jews -- are (yes, even with all our wonky faults).

People who hate frummies or Israelis or themselves can't be convinced. 

(I believe that's why some genuinely intelligent Jews -- like the last Lubavitcher Rebbe -- emphasized the need for blanket insistence on our refusal to give up Land, etc., and not try to convince, per se. Just to stand unyielding. Because even the most compelling truth just sounds like a bunch of blah-blah to the close-minded.)  

So I very much believe in preaching to the choir and that's it.

Because the frum community (with a few exceptions) is so self-critical, it's important to remind ourselves that for all our flaws and for everything that's wrong with us, we are still full of zechuyot like a large juicy pomegranate.

​So if you are a frummie (Torah-observant Jew), a wannabe frummie, or a non-Jewish pro-frummie, this post is for you.

And with that, this post will now take a couple of dips into irony...

(I have to state that outright because, somehow, humor -- especially satire and irony -- gets totally lost on the Internet. Maybe it's abducted by aliens.)

It's worth noting: None of the chassidish Hatzalah paramedics nor the FFB Breslover from Bnei Brak ever served in the army.

Yet they clearly aren't "parasites."

(Nor are they apparently racists or self-serving religious fanatics.)

Sure, an Israeli politician who served as "a correspondent" in the IDF and sat around ruminating over whether a verb should be written as "nifal" or "hufal" and did absolutely nothing of use to the actual military...he can write off committed Jews as "parasites" and insist that they perform "army service" instead of Torah learning (even if they NEVER contribute to actual combat or defense, and are one of the hundreds of "soldiers" who contribute absolutely nothing, militarily speaking, and sit around in air-conditioned bases all day watching American cable TV -- I'm not kidding).

Curiously, learning Torah in a yeshivah is a serious problem that apparently threatens Israel's existence and -- even worse in the eyes of Leftists -- Israel's social fabric, but spending your "military" service on a base texting and watching TV is the pinnacle of social and national contribution.

Hmm...

I mean, if we were talking ACTUAL combat soldiers and other ESSENTIAL military roles, that would be one thing.

But that's not the debate among the "Mandatory-Draft-For-ALL" extremists.

​According to military recruit extremists, all Israeli citizens MUST "serve" in the IDF -- even if they do absolutely nothing and only serve every other week (AKA "shavua-shavua") -- otherwise they are "parasites" and not "carrying their equal share of the burden."

And yes, I realize the above politician claims to have served in the armored corps at one point (despite conflicting reports to the contrary), but my point is that he keeps referring to his stint in B'Machaneh (In the Camp) as ARMY service -- as if!

And he thinks EVERYONE must do such "army service."

Just as another example of what non-essential army service is like:

One December a couple of years back during my son's service in the IDF, my son's roommates were non-Jewish Ukrainians who decorated their shared room with shiny colored tinsel & sang with gusto, "We wish you a merry...!"

Of course, you can imagine the great Yiddishe nachas I experienced at hearing that, especially knowing my son was serving in the only Jewish army in the world. So geshmak, let me tell you.

I don't know how savage terrorists respond to robust Ukrainian caroling, but I suppose "Santa Claus is coming to town" could be done in a menacing manner, if sung just right...

But I'll leave it up to B'Machaneh's 1983 correspondent to work that out.

You should also know that according to mandatory-draft-for-all radicals, these caroling Ukrainians are the REAL Israeli citizens who "carry their equal share of the burden" (they watched Friends while wearing authentic IDF uniforms!), while charedim are parasites who do not "carry their equal share of the burden." 

And the guy who penned propaganda pieces for B'Machaneh and later went on to perfect his best imitation of Netanyahu's I'm-Serious-and-Focused-You-Can-Trust-Me one-eyebrow-arch: He considered his military service "contribution" as having "carried his equal share of the burden."

​Mamesh.

But seriously...do you feel safer now?

I mean, now that you know there are caroling Ukrainians who only serve every other week in a position that entails watching TV most of the time, do you feel unconquerable?

Like I said, I suppose "Santa Claus is coming to town" could sound menacing if sung just right: "He knows when you are sleeping! He knows when you're awake!" -- just like Google & Facebook!

Also, do you feel safer now that you know there are IDF graphic designers and writers who wear real honest-to-gosh IDF uniforms to work in their magazine office? 

What can our enemies possibly do against our Photoshop and Word Office capabilities?

Ha! Take THAT, ISIS & Hamas! 

We will airbrush photos of your AK-47s with #FFFOEC PINK!

​We will spellcheck your grammar!

And if we're feeling particularly savage, we might even force you to try saying "P" and thus pronounce your alleged origin correctly.

Beware!

And those who think that Israelis are awful nasty brutes and think that the charedi Jews in particular are hate-filled fanatics whose encroaching growth must be halted at all costs -- and that everyone is a racist except those who hate the religious and the Right -- those radicals aren't going to be convinced that it's they who are the hate-filled racist fanatics...and not us.

Back to the initial true story in this post: Jews going all out to resuscitate someone possibly associated with Jew-killers just because he's a human being?

That's just considered an insignificant fluke by the real haters. In fact, they don't even bother knowing about it.

So this is just to boost you, the Torah-loving Jew, and remind you that you're part of a people who are mostly extremely compassionate (sometimes too compassionate, even) and proactive with chessed. ​​

And our Torah learning and our commitment to Torah values is the real deal.

Don't believe any hype that claims otherwise.

​Ashreinu!

Related links:

B'Machaneh: Do They Roast Marshmallows & Sing Folk Songs around a Camp Fire? 

​Before He Started Perfecting Netanyahu's I'm-Serious-and-Focused-You-Can-Trust-Me one-eyebrow-arch

Destructive notions are rarely presented in their true light.

Or rather, their true darkness.

But they are presented as "light" -- the "new" enlightened positive way to achieve good things. 

Communism spread across the world because people truly believed it was the answer to poverty and discrimination. Even many Communist leaders initially displayed great mesirut nefesh for Communism and spoke with passion about the plight of the poor.

But it ended up causing even more poverty and millions of people died, whether from starvation or from persecution or unnecessary wars.

Likewise, humanity first started worshiping the Sun as a token of appreciation to Hashem. They knew the Sun was just a servant of Hashem, so they initially felt that honoring the Sun (and other aspects of nature) was merely a display of honor to Hashem.

But things always went downhill from there, until the insistence on controlling nature and its forces became paramount, diminishing Hashem’s role as just another god, chas v’shalom.
 
In Parshat Va’era, we see Avraham Avinu’s hospitality to others. But no bleeding-hearted liberal was he. First, he always insisted that his guests wash off their feet.

Why? Because the people of that time worshiped the dust on their feet.

Why?

The Kli Yakar in 18:4 explains that the people believed that because they came from the earth (Adam Harishon was formed from earth) and because Beresheit 3:19 says, “For you are dust and to dust you shall return”—then the dust possesses an aspect of godliness. And they wanted to honor that.
 
Yet despite their good intentions, it was all wrong.

In society today, a lot of New Agers and green-enthusiasts and animal rights activists emphasize the compassion in their ideology. And most of them sincerely mean it.
 
Yet so much of the New Age stuff is taken from dark sources and leads to dark places.

Ironically, they often include the word “light” within their organization titles (like the occultist Society of Inner Light) and talk about being enlightened or how their wacky stuff brings them light. 

​Yes, they sound so caring and in-tune with nature and humanity.

But love of nature and animals does not lead to true compassion.

(True compassion will result in a respect for the environment and compassion toward animals, but it doesn't seem to work the other way around.)
 
For example, Nazis (nature- and animal-lovers themselves) are considered to be descendants of Amalek.

Amalek was a corrupt nation that wanted to destroy the Jew both in body AND in soul.

In other words, Amalek doesn't always show up with a gun.

They have other corrupt facets in addition to bloodthirst.

Prior to World War II, Berlin was considered the San Francisco of the world. In fact, it started up like that even before World War I. But it flourished in the Wiemar Republic from 1919 throughout the 1920s and even into the 1930s.

During that time, 25-30 weekly or monthly periodicals catering to people attracted to their own gender were published in Berlin.

​In contrast, such media was not published anywhere else in the world.

Newspaper ads seeking like-minded partners, bars and formal dances all occurred out in the open (more or less). One such club achieved so much popularity that it was patronized by princes, barons, counts, wealthy nobility, and a young Marlene Dietrich.

Many Germans suffered poverty and class discrimination at that time, but for those attracted to their own gender in Berlin, it was one long party.

You also had German scientists who pushed for social acceptance of same-gender relationships (and all the cross-dressing and gender-reassignment that often accompanies that part of society), including one scientist who stated that a same-gender relationship “was part of the plan of nature and creation just like normal love."

​(Sound familiar?)

That leading scientist was also a prominent member of Germany’s left-wing Social Democrat party.

The first male-to-female surgery was performed in Germany in 1930.

(The “gender reassignment” was actually carried out over several operations until the Danish client died of complications in 1931.)

​I also found something about a gender reassignment surgery carried out in 1919 in Germany, but the details weren’t clear. It seems it wasn’t completely successful and anyway, the patient decided he wanted to be a man after all and go back to his wife. So the doctors reversed what they’d done and it seems that all was well -- or as well as could be, I suppose.
​
Then Germany transformed itself into a genocide machine (while still blathering on about equality and nature and organic food) with all the classic Amalekite characteristics we all know and hate.

What does that have to do with anything?

He doesn’t say anything more about it, but the Kli Yakar derives this understanding from Midrash Tanchuma Ki Tetzei 9 and the Etz Yosef.

Interestingly, Amalek initially came into being because Timna wanted l’hizdaveg to the Jewish people and wasn’t allowed, so she coupled with Eliphaz instead and produced Amalek.

This also mirrors the Nazi obsession with everything Jewish. Top Nazis even collected Jewish ritual objects to make a museum of Judaism to commemorate what they’d destroyed. (B'chasdei Hashem, they lost the war and could not annihilate the entire Jewish people, so the museum never saw the light of day.)
 
You can see this sometimes, that there are those who want to attach themselves to the Jewish people, but seem to carry secret hatred for this same people at the same time.

Anyway, the point is that Amalek apparently uses same-gender attraction (particularly male-to-male attraction) to entrap the Jewish people.

But first, they present it in a most sympathetic light.

Look what's going on around you. It's nothing new.

​And it's not good, either.

Over the past year, I've been getting emails from people who clearly got my email from my Amazon reviews.

The first was the author of a book for which I left a positive review. He sent out what seemed to be a mass email directed at those of us who'd left positive reviews inviting us for a personal telephone consultation to ask him questions (or something like that) and it sounded magnanimous, but it was clearly a nice ploy for him to make more money off of his readers.

I thought about contacting him to ask how he got my email, but instead figured maybe authors get that opportunity via Amazon and just deleted the email.

However, it niggled in the back of my mind that authors could contact their Amazon reviewers without our permission.

Now, my policy is to not go lower than 3 stars on a product and to always say something positive, no matter how many negatives there are. However, some sellers can get their nose out of joint over a 4-star review, let alone a genuinely negative one.

I didn't like the thought of a seller being able to track me down. While the above author's email meant to be positive, a seller could also use this information to harass a negative reviewer. Or, if the reviewer is also a seller, to leave fake negative reviews in revenge.

(And now that I think about it...how do I know it was actually the author at all? It could have been someone impersonating the author to get me to sign up or to steal my credit card information.)

Several months after that, I started getting emails from untraceable sources asking me to review different products on Amazon, some even stating that they got my email from Amazon -- selling nothing that connected to anything I'd actually bought via Amazon.

They were really annoying and again, I wondered how they got my information.

Also, I haven't bought much on Amazon nor have I left many reviews. So why me?

​I'm still getting them several times weekly and it's very annoying.

The last straw was a PR agent who emailed me asking me to review their client's product. This time, I asked them how they got my email.

From Amazon, came the cheerful reply. Based on your review! And they helpfully included the exact product I bought with the name of the seller -- which I had indeed reviewed.

I politely declined the product.

But then I contacted Amazon customer service, where a rep reassured me in no uncertain terms that Amazon NEVER gives out reviewer emails.

The rep pointed out a slight change in the name of the product, which she said indicates that a phishing bot lifted my email from my review.

I hadn't heard of this particular trick before and she explained briefly, but I didn't really get it. How can that happen? After all, my email isn't included in the form for the review. It sounds very sophisticated to me.

But then again, I'm far from being competent with hi-tech.

Anyway, the rep was very nice and reassuring and invited me to send the email exchange to their fraud unit so they could take care of it, which I did.

The thing is, I looked up the PR agent and it's a real PR firm. The client also exists as does his product for sale.

These aren't bots.

It's also disturbing because many people choose highly identifiable usernames like: MordyMoskowitz@monsey.com

So apparently, there is some way to lift the email from the reviewer name, even though when you write a review, your email isn't anywhere there in the review form.

How are they doing this?

For about a year now, I've heard a couple of people say that at some point, the Internet will cease to be anonymous.

They don't just mean how it is now, that with a lot of effort, you can be tracked (at least somewhat, depending) via your IP.

They mean you'll be readily identifiable.

But the thing about all this hi-tech stuff is that when a new capability arrives, most people don't necessarily know about it immediately. Meaning, when the ability to easily track down your comment or review or post or email arrives, it's not like it will be announced so that you can run for cover prior to the big identity expose.

It'll just happen.

And it'll become known due to the protests of the people who get hit first.

​Based on my experience above (which still makes no sense to me), I think it might already be here.

But you know what?

Someone Omnipotent already knows exactly who you are and exactly what you wrote (or texted). And that Someone even knows you're true intention behind whatever you posted.

And that's the main thing to be concerned about.

What does HE think?

I once knew of a man who served as the chazan (cantor) at an Orthodox shul.

He was an outgoing old man, full of fire and vigor and twinkling eyes.

I remember his exuberant joy whenever a child was born to one of his congregants; he grinned and moved his arm like a fan whose team just made another score.

The congregation was mostly modern Orthodox, and he certainly wasn't, but he treated everyone like family.

I was surprised to hear he was a Holocaust survivor because I never detected sadness or bitterness in his fiery warmth and gregarious sense of humor.

Furthermore, he'd been engaged to a very good frum girl before the War. Miraculously, they both survived and found each other in all the chaos that followed World War II.

Unfortunately, while she remained the same sweet person she was before, the traumatic events had affected her mind and she wasn't 100%.

Yet he married her anyway.

A promise is a promise.

Maybe he also felt responsible for her and wanted to protect her. Things were so chaotic in Europe at that time, maybe he worried how she would manage and take care of herself.

I don't know.

But they established a good life for themselves after leaving Europe and defied Amalek by having several children together.

You'll never read a book about him; he'll never be famous.

He'll never blog, open up a Facebook or Twitter account, or be seen on LinkedIn.

But he's obviously a very special Yid and I just wanted to let you know he exists.

There are "regular" Jews quietly doing great things.

Ashreinu!

I was just asked to post this information to help out a good Yerushalmi family whose home burned terribly.

Even a small amount adds up over the big haul.

Click here to donate.

https://thechesedfund.com/cause/rebuild-this-yerushalmi-family-after-house-burnt-down

(At that link, you'll also see a plea in Hebrew from Rav Yehudah Fischer to help the family.)

​May you be blessed.

B'ezrat Hashem, may we know no more sorrow and only hear besurot tovot.

First off, this post was inspired by Shirat Devorah's comment section of Change Your Name, Change Your Mazal.

It's very worth reading the comments, especially Devorah's insights.

So thank you very much to her, Rav Anava, and the commenters.

And no, I haven't had a chance to listen to shiur within the post.

(So if anything written here contradicts what Rav Anava says, then go with him because in such a case, he's right and I'm wrong.)

Anyway, I think people can get good guidance and inspiration from their Hebrew name, if you're knowledgeable about the person or meaning behind your name.

For example, the name Chana Leah.

​Both Chana and Leah Imeinu invested heart and soul in prayer. In fact, that's what each one is famous for. Furthermore (and this goes together), emuna permeated their being.

So a Chana Leah should have great potential as a profound davener & baalat emuna.

(This includes those whose name is either Chana or Leah, not necessarily together although the combination of 2 extraordinary daveners seems quite powerful.)

But what if your name is Chana Leah and you've always considered yourself a poor davener who feels distant from Hashem?

So...I've noticed that in people who have tremendous potential in a particular area that sometimes their yetzer hara does everything it can to quash them in that particular area. Especially with tefillah, there's a tremendous resistance to connecting with Hashem in a heartfelt manner.

Tefillah can change so much. It's literally the most powerful act anyone can engage in. It sweetens dinim, it reaps miracles, it brings Mashiach, and so much more.

So anything that wants the world to be a Mashiach-less trashy bitter world will do everything it can to quash a person who unknowingly possesses tremendous potential in this area.

However, once you get over that hurdle, you might discover a thriving new you able to utilize tremendous potential you never knew you had.

That's just one example.

Also, Chana means "challah, niddah, hadlakat neirot" (essential mitzvot for women) and its root is "chen" -- often translated as "grace" or "charm" or a kind of beauty (not necessarily physical beauty). So take that into account too.

A lot of women with rose-flower names (Shoshana, Raizel, Vered, etc) seem to have strong nurturing tendencies. 

I'm not sure why. Perhaps it has to do with how flowers themselves need to be nurtured to grow properly. Also, flowers display obvious stages of growth, they blossom, they provide pollen, nutrients, visual beauty, and scents which benefit others.

So rose-named people seem to want to help others blossom and flourish by providing others with a variety of nurturing (symbolized by the rose's attributes: pollen, nutrients, beautifying their environment, and giving off a good beneficial scent).

This nurturing doesn't always manifest as stereotypical nurturing - i.e., gentle, cuddly nurture. Some of these "roses" possess strong, outgoing personalities. 

Regardless, many of these "roses" find themselves in roles where they're helping others be the best they can be. A lot of "roses" seem to be into healing, especially via natural methods like herbs, healthy diet, and so on. 

But again, this nurturing others to be their best can sometimes be expressed in a way that dominating or aggressive -- like they've decided what's best for the other person (even if that's actually not what is best) and now they're going to bully that person into fulfilling that "potential."

Our challenge is always to use our innate character traits in the healthiest way possible.

As another example, one such rose-named woman I know clearly possesses so much compassion for others and a real desire to heal others and nurture them -- but she's consumed with bitterness. It's like a klippah over the real, wonderful her underneath. So she's in constant conflict because of that. But she's got amazing potential and I really hope she'll break through one day to fulfill her very real and helpful qualities.

So again, it's not that your personality is going to be a certain way. Some "roses" are extroverted and very hands-on while others are more introverted and reticent. Some act out their nurturing in a very positive way while others do so in a negative way.

To my mind, it's more about possessing certain qualities or a certain essence. And your personality and psychological/spiritual health determine how those qualities find expression.

Many Nechamas seem to provide others with a comforting, solid presence. Some Nechamas are solid, organized busy people who can help others sort out their minds and lives. Others are more of the soothing, reassuring type. 

They can be good at giving chizuk, support, encouragement, down-to-earth advice, or just be a nice rock to lean on.

Regardless, many Nechamas are indeed comforting however they express it according to their individual personality.

A friend of mine once pointed out that many Yehudahs emanate a kind of "specialness" -- while at the same time, tend to be very difficult to raise. (Yes, one of her sons is named Yehudah.)

Looking around, I realized she was right.

​I think you also find a lot of Yehudahs in some kind of leadership position. Or maybe that's just because it's such a common name.

This all makes sense because Yehudah is a progenitor of Mashiach. Yehudah is royalty. His name also contains Hashem's Name, plus the meaning "gratitude" and "confession."

​Pretty powerful stuff.

Yehudit is an interesting one.

It's the feminine form of the name "Yehudah" -- with all that implies.

Furthermore, the most famous Yehudit was a wealthy, intelligent, committed woman who tricked a wicked general and cut off his head, saving the Jewish people.

I've noticed that many Yehudits are extremely competent people. They've got their act together and tend to be good at running things, including their home. They've got high standards for themselves (which sometimes translates into high standards for others). They tend not to put themselves in the limelight, but instead focus on their own ideals and living up to those ideals.

They're often incredibly faithful, dedicated people, particularly to their family members.

​Just like our most famous Yehudit.

NOTE: I've come across several women from secular families whose parents named them YEHUDAH as their Hebrew name (or as part of their Hebrew name), and usually named after a grandfather or great-uncle.

It's so bizarre, the only thing I can think of is that the stereotypically feminine ending ("AH") is what throws them off. I guess they imagine it's a feminine name, although it's always only ever used as a boy's name, so I still don't understand why they give that name to their daughters without even feminizing it to "Yehudit."

Sure, some male names are feminized, like I've known a couple of Yaakovas and I've heard of a Yitzchaka and an Avrahama here and there. I've even heard of a Shmuella!

So people sometimes feminize male names, but I haven't seen this Yehudah-for-a-girl phenomenon with any other boy names, like a girl named Mordechai or Yechezkel, so I'm assuming it's the "AH" that's making the difference.

Furthermore, I grew up traditional-assimilated and even with my limited exposure to authentic Judaism, I would've thought that naming a girl "Yehudah" would've been a very weird thing.

And no, these are not generally such extremely assimilated Jews that they have no clue that Yehudah is only ever a boy's name. Maybe some of them are, but the ones I've known aren't.

So I really don't understand this, but it certainly exists (unfortunately).

Giving gender-specific names to the opposite gender is actually very harmful.

To contrast: "Yonah" can be a perfectly legitimate girl's name if you're naming her after a dove. Or it can be a perfectly legitimate boy's name if you're naming him after Yonah Hanavi in Tanach.

But most Hebrew names are specifically for one gender or the other.

So the female Yehudahs I've known have been very likable, but there's definitely some kind of block against their full feminine qualities shining through in a positive way. With one such female Yehudah, she always told me since high school that she wanted a hysterectomy because she was so certain she never wanted to have children.

I remember finding this odd because she liked children so much and was known as a good babysitter.

Fortunately, she later became frum and went to a rav to change her name to Yehudit.

After that, she felt more open toward having children and did indeed marry and become a mother. She later explained she felt that carrying a purely male name caused such a strong resistance to birthing children because that is a definite feminine tafkid and not at all a male one, and so the male aspect overwhelmed the female in her psyche.

​But you can really mess up your kids by giving them a name that's clearly wrong for their gender.

Many females named Gitty, Tovah, and any variation thereof do seem to possess extra goodness. Some are indeed warm and outgoing, embracing others. Others are much more reserved. 

Regardless, I've noticed that many Gittys and Tovahs possess an extra measure of compassion or just plain goodness. They want to be good to others and have others enjoy a good life.

Sometimes, this goodness is very much under the radar. Some Gittys and Tovahs can even come off as somewhat cold at first glance. And it can take you by surprise when their sincere goodness underneath is suddenly & unexpectedly expressed.​

Many people named Batya are just plain lovely. Whether their outgoing or quiet, they're really pleasant to be around. Empathy, I think is their key to their loveliness. They tend to be more empathetic than average.

(Although again, sometimes that empathy doesn't manifest clearly and needs to be drawn out.)

Batya literally means "daughter of God" and was also the name of the very empathetic daughter of Pharoah who saved Moshe Rabbeinu's life.

So there you go.

Well, that's all I can think of for now.

To sum up:

• ​Your name points to a special essence within you.

 

• This essence can be expressed positively or negatively.

 

• If you're named after someone in Tanach, it's good to explore that person's personality based on how they're described in Tanach and what the mefarshim say about them.

 

• Your name's basic meaning is important to explore & understand too.

So with the name Yitzchak, for example, you'll want to explore what he did (like how he was famous for speaking to Hashem in the fields and established the afternoon prayer Mincha), what he represents (gevurah), and what his name actually means ("he shall laugh") and see what you can do with that information.
​

• Non-person names (like "nature" names, etc.) also hold special meaning in Judaism. For example, "Aryeh" or "Leib" is a lion and Judaism has quite a lot to say about its symbolism. Ditto with any deer names (Ayal, Ayalet, Tzvi, Ayalah, Hindy, Hirsch). "Tal" (dew) also contains tremendous symbolism.

 

• Even with names that aren't rife with symbolism or aren't represented by actual Tanach personalities (i.e. Chaim/Life or Bracha/Blessing), you can still delve into their basic powerful meaning and see what you can get out of it.

 

• Most people feel an affinity with whatever Tanach person shares their name. That's really good and can be a great source of steady inspiration.

 

• If you have an doubts or quandaries about your name (or the name of your parents or children), make sure you go to a reputable rabbi who has expertise in this area to sort things out.

If you're at a seminary or yeshivah for baalei teshuvah, they for sure know the right rabbi for this issue because it's so common for non-frum Jews to have name issues (like a girl name Yehudah or not having a Jewish name at all or an unfamiliar name or diminutive -- generally named after an Yiddish ancestor -- like "Pessie" or "Mattel"). I think you can also call up a BT institution and just explain that you'd like the name of a rav who deals with names. Hopefully, your local Orthodox rabbi would also know of someone or be able to deal with it himself.
​

• ​If you feel very distant or resistant to your name's meaning or what the original person with that name represents, it could be a sign that you actually have tremendous potential in this exact area, but are being quashed by the Dark Side.

​

• If your essence seems like it's being quashed, don't despair. Use iron force of will and plead with Hashem to help you overcome it. Hopefully, you'll experience a welcome and eye-opening breakthrough. Remember, it's definitely there within you -- it just needs to be accessed.