In Parshat Mishpatim: Money & Piety, Rav Avigdor Miller tells us what true chassidut is: the trait of being pious, of being careful to behave with integrity and take others into consideration.
Chessed is the root of chassid. A real chassid does true chessed; he thinks of others in all the details and doesn't get caught up in the emotion of feeling good.
Rav Miller offers examples, like the teenage boy who really wanted to learn, but the shul was locked. So in the process of trying to get in through a window, he broke the window.
It was a total accident and the boy meant well, but the basic halachah is that he must pay for it.
Likewise, if someone is speeding around in his car out of his great enthusiasm to use his car for some kind of mitzvah (in a non-emergency), he is being a mazik, a damager.
Yes, he means well.
Yes, he isn't endangering others or being reckless on purpose.
If he'd understand the halacha correctly, he could perform his mitzvot with true integrity—according to the middah of chassidut.
This is why mishpatim, the intricacies of the laws, are so vitally important.
Chessed is the root of chassid. A real chassid does true chessed; he thinks of others in all the details and doesn't get caught up in the emotion of feeling good.
Rav Miller offers examples, like the teenage boy who really wanted to learn, but the shul was locked. So in the process of trying to get in through a window, he broke the window.
It was a total accident and the boy meant well, but the basic halachah is that he must pay for it.
Likewise, if someone is speeding around in his car out of his great enthusiasm to use his car for some kind of mitzvah (in a non-emergency), he is being a mazik, a damager.
Yes, he means well.
Yes, he isn't endangering others or being reckless on purpose.
If he'd understand the halacha correctly, he could perform his mitzvot with true integrity—according to the middah of chassidut.
This is why mishpatim, the intricacies of the laws, are so vitally important.
Without All Those Laws, It's Impossible to be a Truly Good Person
"Borrowing" something from a shul without permission, sticking your foot out where people need to walk, talking in the streets at night (especially in the summer when many sleep with their windows open), leaving something on the stairs or the sidewalk for "just a minute," tasting a nut or piece of fruit from a vendor (without his permission), coughing in someone's face, unleashing your bad breath on an innocent recipient...
...these are all covered in halacha and are not allowed.
Again, normal people don't do the above on purpose.
For example, I've never met someone who didn't care about bad breath. Most people would be embarrassed to know their breath stank. People brush their teeth, use mouthwash, suck breath mints, and chew gum to prevent bad breath.
So we aren't talking about rude people, but decent well-meaning people (i.e. most of us) who need to maintain more awareness of how their behavior affects others.
(Although rude people definitely should also take note!)
Many people grimace about how Judaism is "full of laws."
But without a solid grasp of these laws, it is impossible to be a truly good person.
...these are all covered in halacha and are not allowed.
Again, normal people don't do the above on purpose.
For example, I've never met someone who didn't care about bad breath. Most people would be embarrassed to know their breath stank. People brush their teeth, use mouthwash, suck breath mints, and chew gum to prevent bad breath.
So we aren't talking about rude people, but decent well-meaning people (i.e. most of us) who need to maintain more awareness of how their behavior affects others.
(Although rude people definitely should also take note!)
Many people grimace about how Judaism is "full of laws."
But without a solid grasp of these laws, it is impossible to be a truly good person.
The Middah K'Neged Middah of Noise
One thing I noticed over the years is that someone who suffers noise from their neighbors is almost always making some kind of noise too.
I wouldn't say EVERY time without exception ever, but I've been on both sides of this and I can't help what I see.
If you suffer noisy neighbors, it's good to take a look at your own noise.
And it's often not the same kind of noise your neighbor makes.
For example, people living in Israeli apartment buildings don't always realize how much people can hear with the windows open—including fights with your spouse or an especially stressful bedtime.
Likewise, going out on your porch or into your yard often puts you right under or over people's bedroom windows.
Some neighborhoods are made in a way the magnifies noise coming from open windows and porches/yards due to the acoustics.
So people who think that enjoying the nice weather while conducting a telephone call while sitting on a squeaky swing in the yard late at night?
Not good.
Likewise, people who think that taking a screaming baby out on the porch to calm her or letting their early-rising children play in the yard first thing in the morning—not good.
The woman who gets into loud table-pounding arguments with her husband late at night (which shake the ceiling of the neighbor living beneath her) complains about her neighbors who don't let her nap in the afternoon because they allow their children to race around on their riding cars.
(Of course, they shouldn't argue like that even if they live in the middle of a ranch. But neither one seemed to mind letting off steam that way, and if they couldn't resist for the sake of their own character development, they should at least consider whether they're interfering with the peace and sleep of others.)
Oh, and the family who suffered from the noise of the late-night arguments? They were a very noisy family themselves, and while they were warm and hospitable people, they weren't the most considerate in other ways.
Another family couldn't stand the late-night gab sessions in the yard of their neighbors. Yet they had no idea that their robust zemirot-singing and table-pounding every Shabbat night prevented their exhausted neighbors (different neighbors) from going to bed early.
Usually, people either mean well (like the zemirot-singers) or they simply aren't aware (like the table-pounding arguers).
Again, I've been on both sides of this, as the one who suffered noise without realizing that I was just as guilty, albeit in a totally different way.
And I repeatedly see this with others who suffer noise; they're also noisy.
Taking others into consideration is vital even when caught up in the enthusiasm of a mitzvah (or even when caught up in the upset of a moment).
This is the way to chassidut: laws.
I wouldn't say EVERY time without exception ever, but I've been on both sides of this and I can't help what I see.
If you suffer noisy neighbors, it's good to take a look at your own noise.
And it's often not the same kind of noise your neighbor makes.
For example, people living in Israeli apartment buildings don't always realize how much people can hear with the windows open—including fights with your spouse or an especially stressful bedtime.
Likewise, going out on your porch or into your yard often puts you right under or over people's bedroom windows.
Some neighborhoods are made in a way the magnifies noise coming from open windows and porches/yards due to the acoustics.
So people who think that enjoying the nice weather while conducting a telephone call while sitting on a squeaky swing in the yard late at night?
Not good.
Likewise, people who think that taking a screaming baby out on the porch to calm her or letting their early-rising children play in the yard first thing in the morning—not good.
The woman who gets into loud table-pounding arguments with her husband late at night (which shake the ceiling of the neighbor living beneath her) complains about her neighbors who don't let her nap in the afternoon because they allow their children to race around on their riding cars.
(Of course, they shouldn't argue like that even if they live in the middle of a ranch. But neither one seemed to mind letting off steam that way, and if they couldn't resist for the sake of their own character development, they should at least consider whether they're interfering with the peace and sleep of others.)
Oh, and the family who suffered from the noise of the late-night arguments? They were a very noisy family themselves, and while they were warm and hospitable people, they weren't the most considerate in other ways.
Another family couldn't stand the late-night gab sessions in the yard of their neighbors. Yet they had no idea that their robust zemirot-singing and table-pounding every Shabbat night prevented their exhausted neighbors (different neighbors) from going to bed early.
Usually, people either mean well (like the zemirot-singers) or they simply aren't aware (like the table-pounding arguers).
Again, I've been on both sides of this, as the one who suffered noise without realizing that I was just as guilty, albeit in a totally different way.
And I repeatedly see this with others who suffer noise; they're also noisy.
Taking others into consideration is vital even when caught up in the enthusiasm of a mitzvah (or even when caught up in the upset of a moment).
This is the way to chassidut: laws.
Every Little Bit Counts!
The obligation for everyone to give a small donation of machtzit hashekel symbolizes the need for every Jew to contribute.
And also that the small stuff counts, for better or for worse.
Tzedakah means righteousness, not charity.
Rav Miller notes that when you give tzedakah to a yeshivah, you earn merits even in your sleep. As long as the people you gave to are learning, you are earning.
So these are all good things to keep in mind.
Even if you're not so sensitive or aware right now, every little bit of consideration you show others adds up and makes you a better person than you were a minute ago.
And also that the small stuff counts, for better or for worse.
Tzedakah means righteousness, not charity.
Rav Miller notes that when you give tzedakah to a yeshivah, you earn merits even in your sleep. As long as the people you gave to are learning, you are earning.
So these are all good things to keep in mind.
Even if you're not so sensitive or aware right now, every little bit of consideration you show others adds up and makes you a better person than you were a minute ago.
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