In Rav Avigdor Miller's dvar Torah for Parshas Vayishlach 5 – Living with Intent, we learn about the importance of proper intent behind our actions.
This means taking a moment to look at your own tzitzit (or that of your husband or son), and think about what it means (page 9):
This means taking a moment to look at your own tzitzit (or that of your husband or son), and think about what it means (page 9):
They should see it and remind themselves of the great ideals.
“How happy I am that I’m a Jew! How fortunate we are that Hakodosh Boruch Hu chose us!...He chose us from all nations from all languages!”
It doesn’t take long but even in a flash, as these thoughts pass through your mind, you have transformed the mitzvah into a different mitzvah altogether.
It's fantastic to do the same when you give tzedakah or look at/kiss the mezuzah.
Even if you're only giving tzedakah because you're embarrassed to say no, adding the above thoughts transform your giving into something far greater.
Even if you're only giving tzedakah because you're embarrassed to say no, adding the above thoughts transform your giving into something far greater.
The Great Virtue of Allowing Yourself to Do Things Imperfectly
One of the terrible mental diseases today is purity of thought & motivation.
Demanding absolute purity of motivation while completely invalidating any good act as long as it carries the faintest whiff of impure motive?
That's the recipe for disaster.
That keeps a person sunk in despair, rage, and bitterness.
You see this in secular society, that people will say something is not clean or not good or not right ONLY because a certain purity of motivation is lacking.
And people are never satisfied.
There's all this nitpicking like, "This is a sign of low self-esteem, this means you're co-dependent, this is hints at your need for control, this is a sign of emotional immaturity, this means he's ADHD, this is narcissism," and so on.
Everything is pathologized.
Now, sometimes the above are true and need to be addressed.
But sometimes the negative labels are overexaggerated.
And even when true, a person is a LOT more than "co-dependent" or "ADHD" or whatever.
The human soul possesses an aspect of the Divine.
Why not focus on that?
In many societies, people want perfection, yet feel furious, depressed, resentful when they cannot receive this illusive perfection.
And certainly, purity of intent is a wonderful goal.
But as we're climbing the ladder of goodness, it's okay to mix pure intentions with less pure intentions.
No one can ever simply leap from the ground to the top rung of the ladder.
Impossible!
We must start somewhere—and that "somewhere" lies on the bottom rungs of the ladder to achieve potential.
You're not a hypocrite if you've mixed motivations. You're allowed to try!
You're allowed to be imperfect!
Here's Rav Miller on pages 14-15:
Demanding absolute purity of motivation while completely invalidating any good act as long as it carries the faintest whiff of impure motive?
That's the recipe for disaster.
That keeps a person sunk in despair, rage, and bitterness.
You see this in secular society, that people will say something is not clean or not good or not right ONLY because a certain purity of motivation is lacking.
And people are never satisfied.
There's all this nitpicking like, "This is a sign of low self-esteem, this means you're co-dependent, this is hints at your need for control, this is a sign of emotional immaturity, this means he's ADHD, this is narcissism," and so on.
Everything is pathologized.
Now, sometimes the above are true and need to be addressed.
But sometimes the negative labels are overexaggerated.
And even when true, a person is a LOT more than "co-dependent" or "ADHD" or whatever.
The human soul possesses an aspect of the Divine.
Why not focus on that?
In many societies, people want perfection, yet feel furious, depressed, resentful when they cannot receive this illusive perfection.
And certainly, purity of intent is a wonderful goal.
But as we're climbing the ladder of goodness, it's okay to mix pure intentions with less pure intentions.
No one can ever simply leap from the ground to the top rung of the ladder.
Impossible!
We must start somewhere—and that "somewhere" lies on the bottom rungs of the ladder to achieve potential.
You're not a hypocrite if you've mixed motivations. You're allowed to try!
You're allowed to be imperfect!
Here's Rav Miller on pages 14-15:
It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life!
Enjoy! You can be happy!
You can make a lot of money! Nothing wrong!
Where do you find in the Gemara, anyplace that it’s wrong to make money, it’s wrong to be rich, it’s wrong to be happy?
It’s a fundamental error to think it’s wrong.
A man can marry a pretty wife. He doesn’t have to take the ugliest wife he can find and say, “I’m marrying only l’shem Shomayim.”
It’s a big mistake people make in pshat. You can marry a pretty girl. You can make money.
You can eat a big lunch and fall asleep on a comfortable pillow. Why not?
Only that you should add some intent.
While you’re doing it, you shouldn’t waste your life. You add the intent l’shem Shomayim.
So you say, “Well, he’s a faker. He’s not doing it for Shomayim! He wants to make money. He wants to eat a good lunch.”
No! That’s a mistake! It’s a mistake! You can add an intent even though it’s not your sole intent.
And therefore, whatever you are, wherever you are, you could transform your life with a little bit of thought.
It's not hypocritical.
Hakodosh Boruch Hu doesn't expect you to give up your livelihood, your good life, but while you're busy living that life, why not add the intention of doing it for some noble purpose, for the end of serving Hashem.
And therefore everything you do becomes noble; it becomes sublime and your life is packed with accomplishment.
By allowing yourself to be imperfect, you conversely enable yourself (and others) to become better & closer to perfection.
Some Final Tips
On page 16, Rav Miller explains what's wrong with the general welfare programs.
On pages 17-21, Rav Miller offers little thoughts to think in your daily routine to uplift in one second your mundane acts to the Divine.
Also, on the last page, Rav Miller offers advice to parents struggling with a child attracted to less-than-ideal pastimes.
On pages 17-21, Rav Miller offers little thoughts to think in your daily routine to uplift in one second your mundane acts to the Divine.
Also, on the last page, Rav Miller offers advice to parents struggling with a child attracted to less-than-ideal pastimes.
"One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day!"
RSS Feed