Parshas Behaaloscha 2 – Pesach Sheini; Opportunities Forever
Just wanting good things earns you reward.
(BTW, Toras Avigdor Junior gets this message across by using ice cream in a modern-day parable.)
For example, if you honestly cannot donate to a certain worthy Jewish cause or you cannot donate more than a little, your sincere disappointment and not being able to earns you reward.
Groaning or sighing over your inability to perform a mitzvah earns you reward.
And it's interesting that in light of this, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov held sighing or groaning in very high regard.
On the other hand, wanting the wrong thing is a problem for the opposite reason.
Rav Miller quotes Masechet Gittin (6b):
Rav Miller goes on to explain that these mini-tyrants would also tyrannize multitudes of people if they were in that position. Angry people can kill (but the law or other deterrents stop them).
So yes, we are judged by our actions. But we are also judged by our desires.
What do you really want?
Rav Miller advises that at least once a day, whether you're sitting on the couch or walking to the parking lot, you should say with real regret and desire:
"Ribbono Shel Olam, please rebuild the Beit Hamikdash."
As Rav Miller says: "And, believe me, there are women who have become greater than men from the mitzvah of tzitzis."
He also paints a compelling picture of even the simplest & most degraded Jew or Jewess as a prince or princess.
(Interestingly, the Kli Yakar describes that the stunning techeilet tzitzit against the pristine white tzitzit symbolizes love and can bring us to great love with each other and deveikut with Hashem.)
It's very, very worth a read:
Parshas Shelach: The Royal Medal