In Parshas Va’eschanan – Sanctuary of the Jewish Home, Rav Miller discusses a question I think many of us have wondered about: Why was Moshe Rabbeinu so resistant against going on to the Next World?
After all, Moshe Rabbeinu was the epitome of emuna.
He knew Hashem was guiding everything in the Universe.
He knew that death is nothing to fear.
He knew he had a wonderful Paradise beyond comprehension waiting for him.
Also, Moshe Rabbeinu achieved more than any other human being ever had.
So why didn't he go peacefully?
Why did he daven 515 tefillot and with such intensity, he shook up the Universe?
The short answer is that Moshe Rabbeinu loved us very much and also wanted to perfect himself even more.
The long answer is in the dvar Torah itself.
After all, Moshe Rabbeinu was the epitome of emuna.
He knew Hashem was guiding everything in the Universe.
He knew that death is nothing to fear.
He knew he had a wonderful Paradise beyond comprehension waiting for him.
Also, Moshe Rabbeinu achieved more than any other human being ever had.
So why didn't he go peacefully?
Why did he daven 515 tefillot and with such intensity, he shook up the Universe?
The short answer is that Moshe Rabbeinu loved us very much and also wanted to perfect himself even more.
The long answer is in the dvar Torah itself.
Personal Royalty
At this point Rav Miller emphasizes each home is basically an empire in which each father is a king and each mother is a queen.
And he delves into all the responsibility that entails, which is admittedly a bit intimidating.
He paints the great example of Rav Channa's house of chessed, as described in the Gemara. It sounds very difficult to dedicate the entire home to chessed in the way Rav Channa did, but Rav Miller explains that Rav Channa and his wife did it in a way that made each other and their children happy.
And that's definitely food for thought.
Yet Rav Miller acknowledges that the vast majority of us can't be like Rav Channa.
So what can we do?
We can take steps to fill our home with kedushah, with mitzvot...with Hashem.
And we do this one step at a time, elevating the routine mitzvot:
And he delves into all the responsibility that entails, which is admittedly a bit intimidating.
He paints the great example of Rav Channa's house of chessed, as described in the Gemara. It sounds very difficult to dedicate the entire home to chessed in the way Rav Channa did, but Rav Miller explains that Rav Channa and his wife did it in a way that made each other and their children happy.
And that's definitely food for thought.
Yet Rav Miller acknowledges that the vast majority of us can't be like Rav Channa.
So what can we do?
We can take steps to fill our home with kedushah, with mitzvot...with Hashem.
And we do this one step at a time, elevating the routine mitzvot:
You have to train yourself and your family to think, “Right now, we’re doing the mitzvah of washing the hands; Hashem commanded us to obey the chachamim.”
You’re making the house kadosh by doing that.
Developing a real love and appreciation for mitzvot is the way to transform your home.
When you feel that way inside, you project it out to your family.
Here are some ways of looking at yourselves:
When you feel that way inside, you project it out to your family.
Here are some ways of looking at yourselves:
That element should be introduced in the building of Jewish home as much as possible.
“Our home is a makom kadosh,” you tell your family. We must accustom ourselves to this thought:
A Jewish house is a holy house. The same Shechina that came down on Har Sinai is in every Jewish home – it’s not a mashal.
Where else would Hakodosh Boruch Hu come if not in the place where constantly His word is obeyed?
Milchigeh dishes, fleishigeh dishes, pareve dishes, everything is done k’halacha. Shabbos, kashrus, everything!
***
A child wants to eat something, so he asks, “Am I still fleishig? Can I get ice cream yet?”
“No, not yet.”
The child watches the clock.
A little boy is watching the clock - there’s nothing like that in the world.
You won’t find such holy children anywhere else!
The Rav Miller offers many ideas for raising your children with kedushah, even when surrounded by modern secular values.
That's very worth reading.
He concludes that section with this advice:
That's very worth reading.
He concludes that section with this advice:
And so the house is kadosh.
It’s something we have to say to ourselves and to our children - you should repeat it constantly.
You can tell them, “Every time you do something good in this house, you’re making the house even more kadosh. Every time you learn Torah in the house, every time you daven, every time you say birkas hamazon, any bracha you make in the house, the house is becoming more and more kadosh.”
Tell them that - they won’t listen; they’ll say, “Yes, yes,” but it’s going into their little heads.
Don't Forget This Part of Meal-Planning
Rav Miller offers a great many wonderful ideas for using meal times as pleasant chinuch for the children, a time to inculcate authentic Torah values into the family and the home.
He calls it a form of "meal planning," which means you need to have an idea of what you want to mention before you sit down to eat with everyone. (But he recommends against telling the kids that you planned the topic; let them think it's inspired.)
He calls it a form of "meal planning," which means you need to have an idea of what you want to mention before you sit down to eat with everyone. (But he recommends against telling the kids that you planned the topic; let them think it's inspired.)
Which Building is Really Built to Last?
Incredibly, our homes that were dedicated to kedushah will rise again with Techiyat Hametim (Resurrection of the Dead)!
(Rav Miller derives this from the Gemara.)
The holy homes of our holy Sages, which are in ruins now, will also rise again!
The strongest & tallest & most beautiful edifices of today will fall at some point.
Yet the humble abode of the Chafetz Chaim, of all the holy people, will rise again.
It's a whole other way of looking at the world.
(Rav Miller derives this from the Gemara.)
The holy homes of our holy Sages, which are in ruins now, will also rise again!
The strongest & tallest & most beautiful edifices of today will fall at some point.
Yet the humble abode of the Chafetz Chaim, of all the holy people, will rise again.
It's a whole other way of looking at the world.
What Kind of Home are We Creating?
And these are important questions we need to answer ourselves:
And therefore an honest parent should stop and ask himself: “What kind of home do we have? Am I accomplishing in my home what Moshe Rabeinu begged for many many days to have the opportunity to accomplish?"
The most rewarding life for a man and a woman, is to make use of that opportunity that Moshe begged for, and put the best that they have into that house.
The walls of their house should witness only kindliness, only politeness, good character, kindly words, avodas Hashem, joyous Shabbosim, zemiros on Shabbos, divrei Torah, helping each other, performing acts that Hashem commands us to do.
All day long the bnei bayis are putting idealism into the walls of their home.
***
Of course theory is always easier than practice.
But we have to strive for the ideal, for the building of a home that Hashem intended when He told the Am Yisroel, “Return to your tents.”
The creation of a home founded on the principles of Ma’amad Har Sinai is a creation that is eternal.
Regardless of what kind of family we have (even if it's just yourself), may we all succeed in making our families and our homes abodes of kedushah and Torah idealism.
What kind of home do we want?
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