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Seder Hitbodedut: Some Added Structure for Talking to Hashem for Those Times You Struggle to Focus & Find the Words

7/9/2020

4 Comments

 
PictureClick image to go to her site - Hebrew only.
Rabbanit Ahuva Arad, a well-known speaker in Eretz Yisrael, published a beautiful siddur for women in nusach edot hamizrach (AKA Sefardi):
​
Tefillah L'Hashem V'Hakol Mitgashem.

At 976 pages, it contains all of Sefer Tehillim too, plus many tefillot & segulot & advice for all kinds of situations.

(UPDATE: For those in Eretz Yisrael, this siddur can be found in the Ohr Hachaim bookstore chain. If they don't have it in stock at your local Ohr Hachaim bookstore, you can probably ask them to order it.)

The section entitled Seder Hitbodedut intrigued me.

How can you put personal prayer (which by nature, is unique to each person & changes each time) on paper?

And didn't Rav Shalom Arush already give us a seder of thirds?

​(Meaning: ⅓ thanking Hashem, ⅓ self-scrutiny & confession, ⅓ requesting stuff from Hashem.)

Turning to that section, I discovered that it literally is a seder (an organization or list) of pre-hitbodedut prep and guidance for the hitbodedut itself.

First of all, it starts off with the benefits of hitbodedut (personal prayer in your own words):

  • It's more powerful & effective than fasts or crushing your attachment to physicality by rolling in snow.
 
  • A Jew who engages in hitbodedut brings the Geula (Final Redemption) closer.
 
  • Hitbodedut nullifies decrees hanging ominously over Am Yisrael.
 
  • The act of one Jew engaging in hitbodedut rouses other Jewish souls to do teshuvah (because we are all interconnected as if one person with many facets).

A Jew who engages in hitbodedut and judges himself (or herself!) in This World (via cheshbon hanefesh and confessing one's sins) will not be judged in the Next World (because he or she already underwent a self-scrutiny & found oneself guilty of whatever, so there is no need for the Heavenly Court to do so).

Then there is a prayer to say before hitbodedut.

And finally, this is the seder:

Seder Hitbodedut

Praise & Gratitude to Hashem

  • Thank Hashem for every day that He renews the initial Creation (i.e., we continue to enjoy the Sun, Moon, and stars, etc.)
 
  • Thank Hashem for any health you enjoy.
 
  • Thank Hashem for any livelihood you receive.
 
  • Thank Hashem for family.
 
  • Thank Hashem for friends.
 
  • Thank Hashem for having taken us out of Mitzrayim (Egypt — and having escaped the 49th level of tumah/spiritual impurity)
 
  • Thank Hashem for every Shabbat.
 
  • Thank Hashem for the chagim (Jewish holidays).
 
  • Thank Hashem for the Holy Torah.


​Praying for Am Yisrael

  • Daven (Pray) for Hashem to build the Beit HaMikdash.
 
  • Daven for Mashiach to come with rachamim (compassion & mercy).
 
  • Daven for the refuah of all sick people, both generally & by name.
 
  • Daven over the troubles Am Yisrael experiences.
 
  • Daven over the Galut (Exile).
 
  • Daven about anything else you can think of.


Confession

  • Confess your wrong-doings before Hashem.
 
  • Request from Hashem mechilah & slichah (total forgiveness)
 
  • Regret your past.
 
  • Take upon yourself to, bli neder, be better in the future.
 
  • Judge yourself from yesterday until now.
(Meaning, examine yourself & your deeds as if you were a judge examining evidence for a verdict. Don't sink into toxic shame if you find yourself terribly guilty because (a) Any negative qualities were planted there by Hashem, so they don't reflect badly on you personally or your beautiful essence; remember, your core neshamah is completely pure & pristine...and (b) You prevent the Heavenly Court from judging you and thereby delivering negative consequences because you've already judged yourself, so you only gain by self-judgement. Yay!)


Finding Your Good Points

  • Give yourself credit for any efforts you make in the right direction (even if you didn't succeed).
 
  • Give yourself credit for all the times you overcame your yetzer hara: the times you overcame your anger, refrained from speaking lashon, and so on.


Sha'at Ratzon — A Time of Favor

  • Request from Hashem all that is in your heart, both your spiritual desires & your material desires.
 
  • Believe that Hashem hears you.
​
  • Believe that no prayer is ever turned away empty-handed.

(It may take time for a prayer to be granted. It may be fulfilled differently than you expect. But sincere prayer is never turned away.)​

I found the above helpful because sometimes, we feel stuck regarding what to say to Hashem.

Sometimes, we need help in articulating exactly what to thank Hashem for or what to confess.

Sometimes we don't have time, and the above, though structured, is flexible enough to be completed in 15 minutes. (Or it can be stretched out to 2 hours or even more.)

Or you might forget that cheshbon hanefesh (self-accounting) isn't just your negatives, but your positives too (as noted above).

​Here's a downloadable PDF of the Seder Hitbodedut (specially formatted to fit on 1 page at a glance or to print out):​
SEDER HITBODEDUT

4 Comments
Hava link
8/9/2020 12:14:06

Thank you so much for making the Seder Hitbodedut available in English! I printed it out and copied it down to my computer.

I found that increasing the size just 10% made it more readable, but it did cut tiny parts off (not enough to make it unreadable).

Reply
Myrtle Rising
8/9/2020 12:33:18

I'm grateful you found it helpful, Hava. It's a wonderful idea Rabbanit Arad came up with.

Regarding the PDF: Though I decreased the margins to make more room for the text, I was still concerned that the text would still be too small for some people. I'm glad you found a workable solution and that you shared it for the benefit of those who also need increased readability.

Thanks for this, Hava.

(P.S. For those in Eretz Yisrael, this siddur can be found in the Ohr Hachaim bookstore chain. If they don't have it at your local Ohr Hachaim bookstore, probably you can ask them to order it.)

Reply
Avigail
10/9/2020 01:23:07

Hi Myrtle,

Thank you, thank you so much for the translation and print out of Seder Hitbodedut. I love it! Usually I am not one to be at a loss for words however when I am before Hashem, I am often speechless. This is beautiful and esp. helpful for those of us that don't speech Hebrew.
May your holidays be blessed and your new year be full of goodness and sweetness, for you and your whole familia.

Reply
Myrtle Rising
10/9/2020 11:29:57

Avigail, I'm so pleased to know you found it helpful. And thank you SO much for your wonderful blessings. Very appreciated!

Wishing all that goodness & sweetness to you & yours too!

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