Especially young woman struggle to stand up for themselves in certain situations. Unfortunately, the brassy sneering females get the spotlight.
(This is despite the ugly situations they can find themselves in, situations that should be avoided for their own benefit.)
And self-absorbed women who have faced aggressive men and overcome them like to hoist themselves up on the pedestal of “If I can do it, ANYONE can!”
This highly narcissistic attitude ignores situational & personality variables. As is characteristic of cults, it holds a black-and-white view that every situation and every person can be molded in exactly the same way.
In many, if not most, situations in which a woman or girl is able to successfully fight off or escape an assault, there is tremendous mazal involved — an important factor ignored by mainstream society and those who promote this Supergirl persona.
But many young woman struggle.
In every co-ed army in the world, reports of harassment and violation occur.
This is true even in the American army, which as a volunteer army, you’d think attracts a more assertive type of women. Furthermore, female recruits undergo basic training, which includes self-defense and hand-to-hand combat.
(Although in the IDF, basic training doesn’t always include that; it depends. But it does always include training in the use of a machine gun.)
So why is it that, in all armies that allow female enlistment, so many women (especially young women) are unable to fend off (either physically or behaviorally) their male colleagues and superiors in the military?
Whether it’s verbal harassment or physical assault, these trained Amazons ultimately cannot control certain situations to their benefit if their male assailant doesn’t allow it.
Mandatory Female Draft is an Anti-Female Agenda
There is also a ruach of pride that girls can operate within the army, including combat, and all secular journalism portrays female recruitment in a rosy hue.
Even among the dati-leumi, female recruitment (not shirut leumi, but actual IDF service) is admired in some circles.
There are so many problems with this and so much false propaganda to counter. But today, we’ll just focus on harassment, exploitation, and violation.
What are the 3 Factors Often Necessary before Girls & Women will Seek Assistance?
In addition to the superior physical strength young men generally possess over young women, a higher-ranking male possesses authority over all soldiers under him.
This obviously does not include the right to harass and assault (which is strictly forbidden in the IDF – officially, anyway).
But rules & resources aside, a young woman can easily find herself psychologically intimidated by both an officer’s physical imposition (even if he's not actively using it) and his authority, even if she’s not consciously aware of what’s she’s intimidated by.
A common yet never-discussed dynamic is that many young women find it difficult to get help UNLESS all the factors line up to their advantage.
Just to ask for help (whether in the middle of a situation or after the fact), many young women need the following:
- Someone (often male) with the authority and power to help.
- The CERTAINTY that this authority will indeed help them.
If any of the 3 factors are lacking, many young women will not seek assistance or protection.
This is why you have young women stuck in situations they could easily get out of or why young women don’t always demand help even in a public setting surrounded by lots of people.
What Happened to the Israeli Superwoman All of the Sudden?
The waitresses were all young Jewish women of the secular/traditional type, at least some of whom were after military service. To save money, the managers hired a middle-aged married Yishmaeli.
My husband felt disgruntled with this situation from the outset. He hated the idea of a Yishmaelite holding authority over Jewish girls.
Sure enough, my husband entered the café not longer after hiring and was approached by the young female staff to complain about harassment.
“He makes us give him a kiss and hug before we leave,” they complained. “If we don’t, then he deletes us from the computer and we don’t get paid that day for all the work we did.”
(Note: The above constitutes ACTUAL harassment.)
Some of the girls gave into the Yishmaeli’s demand while some refused and suffered their names deleted from the computer for that day’s work.
But none of them confronted the Yishmaeli on the spot.
Nor did they complain to their bosses.
No, they waited until my husband showed up — an approachable sympathetic male with the power to help and protect them.
Feeling the same as if his little sisters had approached him with the same complaint, my horrified husband instantly contacted the managers and said, “The Arab has to go NOW or else I’m withdrawing your certification on the spot.” Then he ordered them to never hire such a person again.
The Yishmaelite was fired and my husband grumbled about people trying to save money on the cheshbon of Jewish girls.
Stunned & upset by the harmful hiring on part of the frum bosses, I wondered out loud, “Could they have really thought he'd behave decently? I mean, he’s this middle-aged married guy.”
My husband huffed and shook his head.
“How could they not know that he can’t control himself?” he said. “Of course they knew! It’s literally putting a fox in charge of the henhouse. What did they think would happen? He suddenly finds himself with all these young Jewish girls under him and he just couldn’t control himself.”
Then he had some more choice words against the Yishmaelite mentality in general and toward females, especially Jewish females.
(Note: When my husband mentioned “their” lack of self-control, he did NOT mean that as an excuse for appalling behavior, but as a directive to protect ourselves and AVOID creating such situations in which girls suffer.)
Yes, my husband handled this situation excellently.
But what perplexed me was how the girls didn’t stand up for themselves.
After all, this is Israeli society and Israelis—including the females—tend to be more assertive.
According to logic, the following needs to be answered:
- At least some of these girls were after or in the middle of military service. They’d shot rifles and been conditioned to behave assertively & with dedication to the welfare of their colleagues — why couldn’t they stand up to Achmed?
- Also, they were a group united in their resentment and certainty that this was unjust. So why were they unable to stand up for themselves as a unit?
- Furthermore, these girls represented the majority in power in the country (Jewish) while their harasser was in the less advantaged sector (Muslim-Arab). So why didn’t they just stand up to Achmed?
- Also, some of the girls did have the guts to refuse his demands -- and got deleted from the system. So why didn't they take it one step further and protest to either Achmed or their Jewish bosses?
- Why didn’t they immediately complain to their bosses?
- Why didn’t they complain to their parents — their parents would’ve for sure intervened, right?
- Why did these girls feel they needed to wait for the appearance of a definitely sympathetic & approachable male with the authority to help them?
Because that just seems to be the way many young women intuitively handle such situations. (Please see the 3 factors listed above.)
The "Freeze" Response Cannot Always be Overcome
It’s unrealistic and naïve to expect all men to relate with decency and respect to their female colleagues and subordinates in the army, especially when you have a majority secular crowd that lacks knowledge or respect for the Jewish Laws of purity and the hands-off directives, and all other relevant halachot.
Furthermore, all the messages in secular society confuse both males & females.
And some people are just bad people.
I once read the heart-breaking report of a 14-year-old babysitter who’d been violated by the father of the sleeping child she was babysitting, which needless to say with a physically excruciating and emotionally traumatic experience for her. He went back upstairs for something, leaving her sitting downstairs of the sofa right near the front door.
A police station sat merely 1 block away.
Yet the girl made no dash for rescue.
She ended up sitting there for 45 minutes until the scoundrel came back to abuse her further.
Later, she recalled feeling frozen, like she couldn’t move. She could hardly think.
Hearing about this type of reaction often confounds people. She had ample opportunity to escape; why didn’t she go?
So the answer is: Based on how young women tend to respond and what they subconsciously sense they need, running to the police can be too much of a risk.
She needed to KNOW without a doubt that there would be a sympathetic approachable authority who would for sure help her.
And without knowing the officers on duty there, it was too much to ask of her to just run over there after she’d been so traumatized.
Some girls still would for sure have made it out to the police down the street.
Some girls are able to do whatever they need to do to help themselves.
But expecting all girls to help or defend themselves just because a minority manage to do so, and so it’s fine ‘n’ dandy to place girls in problematic situations l’chatchila?
What a callous attitude.
Furthermore, with the babysitter: She’d already been abused by men before, although not violated in the way she was that night. I feel this had a lot to do with her helpless response.
Apparently, the previous abuse conditioned her to feel helpless in such a situation, so she could not find it within her to make it to the police station just 1 block away.
Prevention is the Real Key to Fighting Abuse
Any girl already traumatized by abuse can experience the same shut-down response when faced with abuse by male colleagues and superiors in the army.
But again, under the influence of Edomite culture which is the pig that extends its cloven hoof to deceptively display its claimed kashrut while hiding the totally treif lack of cud-chewing inside, the army simply posts and proclaims regulations and procedures for dealing with harassment and abuse of females even as it CREATES the very situation that leads to such exploitation in the first place.
This kind of thing is popular in Anglo cultures throughout the world.
People focus on after-the-fact measures rather than preventative measures.
Esav loves to build a hospital at the bottom of the cliff rather than erecting a barrier to prevent cars from driving off the cliff.
It's interesting to note that at least one group has dedicated itself to teaching women & girls to AVOID potentially dangerous situations, rather than rely on self-defense techniques. They were driven to do this out of concern for female well-being & after noticing that the techniques often don't help & that females are better served by AVOIDANCE measures.
(No Nonsense Self-Defense - Disclaimer: Some of the content is disturbing.)
Another top female self-defense instructor in America incorporates situational awareness and AVOIDANCE techniques into her self-defense course for females. Again, she was driven to do so upon seeing that self-defense is often not helpful for females.
And yes, I personally know girls and women who’ve fought off abusers or attackers. Baruch Hashem they were able to do so!
But using that minority to justify putting the majority of young women in a potentially harmful situation?
How very wrong, how very callous, and how very blind such people must be.
A Brief Look at Why All the Gedolei Hador Always So Strongly Opposed Giyus Banot