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The Startling Impact of Kol Isha

10/1/2017

6 Comments

 
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When I was in high school jazz choir, we were invited to attend an informal jazz performance at a music college.

One of the boys in our group (let’s call him Linus) was the kind of guy you might remember from your high school days: He was good at completely platonic friendships with girls.
Not particularly hot-blooded or attractive—in fact, he was kind of scruffy and pockmarked—he was comfortable with and accepting of the female personality; he was good-humored and never sleazy.

In other words, he was totally harmless.

(And no, it wasn’t because he was secretly attracted to his own gender.)

For girls, this made him safe and comfortable to be around.

Anyway, we were seated in the auditorium when the first singer plodded onto stage.

We stared at her a moment and then exchanged nonplussed looks with each other.

With a solid build and hardly any neck, she looked like Mr. Potato Head in maroon blouse and a denim skirt. Her armpit-length straggly brown hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in ages.
(Yes, I know I sound catty, but there is a point to all this, so please bear with me.)
She also wore no makeup, which is unheard of when performing on stage.

She slouched in front of the microphone, a morose and bored look on her face.
It was announced that she would be singing, “You are My Sunshine,” one of my favorite childhood songs. I fully expected the cute, light-hearted jazz rendition, à la The Andrews Sisters, although I wondered how this despondent-looking singer would pull that off.

But then she closed her eyes and started humming.

And her head started lolling around with abandon as if it might just roll off her stumpy little neck at any moment.
(And yes, that was kind of shocking and grotesque.)

But her humming…

WHOA.

That was the sultriest humming I’d ever heard and her voice was absolutely captivating—even as a hum.

I looked around to see if I was the only one affected and noticed everyone else gaped-mouthed and looking around for the same reason I was. The boys were either frozen in place or squirming and trying to suppress their sheepish smiles.

Linus was leaning forward, his eyes and mouth frozen wide open.

Then the singer’s head rolled backwards and her mouth dropped open as the melody bloomed out of her throat.

It was amazing.

At that, Linus grabbed the arm of the girl sitting next to him and said, “I MUST HAVE THAT WOMAN.”

Wide-eyed, she looked at him and said, “Okay, Linus, but I’m not her!”

The performance continued and when it ended, the singer slumped back into her morose persona and we gave her a standing ovation.

The guys were all looking at each other with little embarrassed smiles like, What the heck just happened?  How’d SHE do THAT?

Linus recovered enough to turn to me and say, “You have to help me find a way to meet her. Come with me backstage.”
_____________________________________________
The point is that people sometimes get worked up about the limitations Judaism places on women’s behavior when men are around. And the halachic insight that “kol isha erva” (“a woman’s [singing] voice is unchaste”), which leads to the prohibition of women singing in front of men and of men listening to a woman singing, is one such limitation that some people find unnecessarily repressive.

Note: "Erva" is the same word used to refer to body parts that need to be covered (whether male or female), a married woman's hair (which needs to be covered), and a woman's voice, particularly her singing voice.

(Interestingly, these same people rarely find Judaism’s strict limitations on men’s actual thoughts—in addition to the limitations placed on their behavior—to be repressive.)

But there is clearly a certain power in a woman’s singing voice that is so strong that it can move male emotions in a certain way, even if the rest of the package isn’t there (as in the case of the morose, greasy-haired singer above)—and even if it’s just humming.

And that’s all I wanted to say.
 
(P.S. Some Hebrew words are so complicated to translate properly. If anyone has a better translation for “erva,” I’d be very grateful.)

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6 Comments
B
10/1/2017 17:50:45

While understanding the impact have read elsewhere that the original basis for Kol Isha only refers to a scenario where an unrelated woman sings in front of a man saying Shema.

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Myrtle Rising link
10/1/2017 19:28:05

Hi, B.

To be completely upfront, I'm not very knowledgeable in all the ins and outs of this particular halacha, but Rav Hai Gaon says something similar to what you mention:
"One may also not recite [Kriat Shema] while a woman is singing because a woman's voice is erva....however, if he can concentrate on his prayers while she is singing in a way that he does not hear her and does not pay attention to her, it is permissible [to recite Kriat Shema]." (Otzar HaGaonim, Brachot)

On the other hand, Rashi in Gemara Brachot 24a says that a woman's voice is prohibited to a man in general, and the Rosh, Shulchan Aruch, and Rama (among others) concur with this prohibition.

Thank you.

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Chava link
11/1/2017 10:09:45

For erva: Maybe "suggestive" or "arousing"?

I'm glad you clearly stated "singing" voice. Sometimes I get confused when people talk about this subject, and I'm left wondering whether "speaking" is also forbidden.

And what if she's singing a holy song? Perhaps it would "arouse" men in the right direction, rather than in the wrong one. For that reason, a non-FFB like me wonders why religious Jews often use young boy's voices that often sound like women because they sing in the same range. If we can manage not to "warble" or whatever you call that thing we do that gives us away, we can sound just like [fill in the name of the latest boy wonder. I have one in mind and forgot his name, and by now he has gained his manly voice anyway.].

I hope that if "Linus" and that girl got married, they still are.

Reply
Myrtle Rising link
11/1/2017 12:40:54

Hi, Chava,

1) I like your suggestions and would like to mull them over - thank you!

2) "Linus" happily married a wonderful woman not long after he graduated high school, and they were happily married with a couple of kids last time I heard from him a couple of decades ago, so there's a happy ending to that.

3) Regarding the intriguing points you brought up about kol isha:

A) Some sources do indeed also prohibit listening to a non-related female speaking voice, but I'm definitely not up to par on the ins and outs of that one. Listening to a woman singing is the stronger, across-the-board prohibition as far as I can tell.

B) What if the woman is singing a holy song? I think you are asking if he can get aroused in a wholly spiritual way without his taavot or emotions being aroused in a certain way?
I tend to think not. Because of the way their brains are wired, men don't seem to differentiate in the manner that women do.

C) I know what you mean about a young boys' voice, and it does seem to me that this is indeed done to provide a halachically permissible soprano within frum music. And I've definitely heard a moment of song in which I had to listen for a minute to determine whether it was a boy or a woman singing. However, in my personal experience, I think a woman's soprano and a boy's soprano are still different enough to allow someone listening to a whole song without knowing anything about the singer to be able to accurately determine whether it was a boy or a woman singing.

However, this is admittedly subjective because different people have a different "ear" for music.

Following that, there is also often unconscious realization of the truth. A person's soul knows what's really going on and can still be affected on a spiritual/psychic level by listening to a woman sing even if he was told falsely that it is a boy's voice.

(I'm thinking of stories of tzaddikim who, for example, instinctively responded to kosher food as if it was non-kosher and later discovered that there was, say, a question regarding the chicken's kashrut and that tzaddikim had a stringency never to eat anything that's kashrut was questioned, even if the verdict came back as unequivocally kosher and permissible to eat. This is just one of a variety of examples. Basically, the soul knows.)

P.S. I've heard of FFBs bring up the same points you are. They're reasonable points/questions anyone can have, FFB or not. ;)

Reply
Sandra
18/1/2017 14:20:19

I don't get it, although I appreciate the story. Women can be turned on by a male singing as well, or even by the music he plays on an instrument. It can stir one's soul, and one shouldn't or wouldn't necessarily interpret this feeling as sexual in any way.

Reply
Myrtle Rising link
18/1/2017 22:24:30

Hi, Sandra,

I agree that people of either gender can be deeply moved by music and stirred in a purely soulful way.

And I've also never seen women get aroused in the same way men can just by singing or a performance, although sometimes women playact arousal in a joking, fun-loving, or sort of melodramatic manner. But it's not serious hot-blooded physical arousal like it can be for men.

The point that Judaism gets very serious about is the thoughts that singing (or any kind of erva) potentially arouses in men, even if there is no physical arousal. Judaism frowns much more severely on male fantasizing.

In general, Judaism is much tougher on men about issues in this area and places prohibitions on men that it either doesn't place on women or if it does place them on women, it does so with much less severity. There are a couple of exceptions to this, but in general, it's true.

Thank you.

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