In Words of Faith, Rav Levi Yitzchak Bender explains the 2 special powers of hitbodedut (speaking with God in your own words):
- It lets a person know that he is ill (spiritually speaking).
- It heals that very illness.
For there are all sorts of defects and crooked things to which a person becomes accustomed (whether in matters between him and God or whether in matters between him and another person).
A person is so used to them, he doesn't even feel he's behaving improperly.
Therefore...he is prone to continue his whole life without feeling anything wrong whatsoever.
On the contrary, outwardly, he makes a positive impression. He is counted as an honorable person (a sheiner Yid). They give him honor and take his opinion seriously.
But he himself is really sick...something that requires immediate attention...
Rav Bender hastens to reassure us that honest self-knowledge is possible through speaking copiously to Hashem in our own words.
Words!
Words!
"[Words] have the power to unearth and fix all deeds from then until now -- even things long forgotten...here below, teshuvah helps for everything. To atone and purify and erase the worst defect."
[From page 451; emphases mine -- MR]
I just want to say that I've seen this within myself since I started talking to God about all sorts of things. Before, I thought of myself as someone who was relatively self-aware. I also did a form of chesbon hanefesh, when I combed over my day regarding my own behavior or re-examined my behavior when a negative response prompted me to.
Yet turning to God and using others (particularly my children) as mirrors or messengers for how Hashem wants me to improve opened spiritual vistas within myself.
There was so much I really hadn't realized about myself and the inner work I needed to do.
Also, many times, I've seen others who have really special qualities and brilliant potential, but are strapped down by certain negative qualities woven through them. It's like they're trapped within a klippah and can't really blossom into full bloom. But the beautiful buds are obviously there.
In other words, it really is impossible to know what needs healing until you turn to Hashem in your own words.
And then to heal that newly discovered flaw? Again, Hashem really helps.
He wants us to bloom into the beautiful potential He imbued within each and every one of us.
It's not about feeling bad.
(Remorse and regret? Yes. Self-loathing and feeling bad or hopelessly defective? No.)
It's about feeling happy about removing yet another suffocating weed to allow your unique soul-garden to expand and flourish.
Yet turning to God and using others (particularly my children) as mirrors or messengers for how Hashem wants me to improve opened spiritual vistas within myself.
There was so much I really hadn't realized about myself and the inner work I needed to do.
Also, many times, I've seen others who have really special qualities and brilliant potential, but are strapped down by certain negative qualities woven through them. It's like they're trapped within a klippah and can't really blossom into full bloom. But the beautiful buds are obviously there.
In other words, it really is impossible to know what needs healing until you turn to Hashem in your own words.
And then to heal that newly discovered flaw? Again, Hashem really helps.
He wants us to bloom into the beautiful potential He imbued within each and every one of us.
It's not about feeling bad.
(Remorse and regret? Yes. Self-loathing and feeling bad or hopelessly defective? No.)
It's about feeling happy about removing yet another suffocating weed to allow your unique soul-garden to expand and flourish.
RSS Feed