A friend forwarded to me the Bitachon Magazine for Parshat Re'eh (thanks, NEJ!) and a message from Devorah Silberman's article jumped out; it really spoke to a major issue with which I struggle (partly from myself & partly due to the criticism from others); boldface & underline my own addition:
Rebbe Avraham Yaakov, the Sadigura Rebbe zy'a would often share that “a person can...complete their purpose in this olam hatikun (World of Fixing) as long as they don’t say two words: "ilu hayiti" ''which means "if only I was...”
So often we are plagued by gnawing feelings of self-doubt.
Sometimes we might see another person's professional advancement, or hatzlacha, and the voice of Korach appears inside our head:
"If only... if only I had a better position. If only I was somewhere else, had a different job, had more money, more political influence, more spiritual authority or charisma, a higher IQ, then I would be....”
***
We can only complete our Tikun by discovering good fortune in whatever our role is right now.
For when a Jew truly desires to serve Hashem, he can do so wherever he is.
With our Avodas Hashem, we look at others and immediately yearn for their Hatzlacha, their families, their health, their strengths, their abilities.
We feel a yearning to serve Hashem with our “preferred life” instead.
But not always is the life we want what Hashem wants from us at the moment for our Tikkun and purpose.
We have to keep remembering the quote above:
“Everyone is given the exact character traits, circumstances and challenges that they need to be considered successful in their mission in this world.”
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You need to be strong within yourself to do this.
Unfortunately, a lot of people (including some you turn to for guidance) denigrate strugglers by saying, "Well, Everybody Else is able to do it. Why can't you?" Or, "What do you think Everyone Else is doing? How do you think Everyone Else is managing?" Or, "Of cooooourse...EVERYBODY knows THAT! Why didn't YOU?"
This mysterious entity named Everyone Else was ruining my life. No matter how hard I tried or have fast I "ran," I remained an utter failure compared to the oh-so perfect and much-lauded Everyone Else.
Sometimes, I really wanted to hunt down this mysterious entity name Everybody Else and strangle her.
She thwarted me every step of the way. I could never scrape myself out of failure as long as she was around.
She was always there, mashing me back down.
But gradually, I realized the difference in resources.
There is not comparison to Everybody Else.
For example, a one-legged man needs to climb a hill differently than a 2-legged man.
And a legless man needs to climb a hill using a different method than either.
Some people receive golf carts, mopeds, a horse, or even a helicopter to make it up the hill.
Even when looking at similar situations, the resources available still differ.
For example, can you compare the climb of a legless man who uses a horse or a helicopter to the climb of a legless man without any equipment?
The legless man in a helicopter doesn't even climb.
Should the two-legged man sneer at the legless man who needs a horse to make it over the hill?
Should the legless man wizzing about in the helicopter lord himself over the legless men below, boasting, "If I can make it over the hill, then anyone can!"
No. Each situation is so different, even the ones that superficially look the same.
So that's what it is.
And for the sake of repairing our souls, Hashem wants each of us to serve Him with our individual strengths & resources...but also with our individual flaws & lack of resources.
Unfortunately, a lot of people (including some you turn to for guidance) denigrate strugglers by saying, "Well, Everybody Else is able to do it. Why can't you?" Or, "What do you think Everyone Else is doing? How do you think Everyone Else is managing?" Or, "Of cooooourse...EVERYBODY knows THAT! Why didn't YOU?"
This mysterious entity named Everyone Else was ruining my life. No matter how hard I tried or have fast I "ran," I remained an utter failure compared to the oh-so perfect and much-lauded Everyone Else.
Sometimes, I really wanted to hunt down this mysterious entity name Everybody Else and strangle her.
She thwarted me every step of the way. I could never scrape myself out of failure as long as she was around.
She was always there, mashing me back down.
But gradually, I realized the difference in resources.
There is not comparison to Everybody Else.
For example, a one-legged man needs to climb a hill differently than a 2-legged man.
And a legless man needs to climb a hill using a different method than either.
Some people receive golf carts, mopeds, a horse, or even a helicopter to make it up the hill.
Even when looking at similar situations, the resources available still differ.
For example, can you compare the climb of a legless man who uses a horse or a helicopter to the climb of a legless man without any equipment?
The legless man in a helicopter doesn't even climb.
Should the two-legged man sneer at the legless man who needs a horse to make it over the hill?
Should the legless man wizzing about in the helicopter lord himself over the legless men below, boasting, "If I can make it over the hill, then anyone can!"
No. Each situation is so different, even the ones that superficially look the same.
So that's what it is.
And for the sake of repairing our souls, Hashem wants each of us to serve Him with our individual strengths & resources...but also with our individual flaws & lack of resources.
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