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Tips on Using Your Jewish Name to Discover the Real You

17/10/2018

12 Comments

 
First off, this post was inspired by Shirat Devorah's comment section of Change Your Name, Change Your Mazal.

It's very worth reading the comments, especially Devorah's insights.

So thank you very much to her, Rav Anava, and the commenters.

And no, I haven't had a chance to listen to shiur within the post.

(So if anything written here contradicts what Rav Anava says, then go with him because in such a case, he's right and I'm wrong.)

Anyway, I think people can get good guidance and inspiration from their Hebrew name, if you're knowledgeable about the person or meaning behind your name.

For example, the name Chana Leah.

​Both Chana and Leah Imeinu invested heart and soul in prayer. In fact, that's what each one is famous for. Furthermore (and this goes together), emuna permeated their being.

So a Chana Leah should have great potential as a profound davener & baalat emuna.

(This includes those whose name is either Chana or Leah, not necessarily together although the combination of 2 extraordinary daveners seems quite powerful.)

But what if your name is Chana Leah and you've always considered yourself a poor davener who feels distant from Hashem?

So...I've noticed that in people who have tremendous potential in a particular area that sometimes their yetzer hara does everything it can to quash them in that particular area. Especially with tefillah, there's a tremendous resistance to connecting with Hashem in a heartfelt manner.

Tefillah can change so much. It's literally the most powerful act anyone can engage in. It sweetens dinim, it reaps miracles, it brings Mashiach, and so much more.

So anything that wants the world to be a Mashiach-less trashy bitter world will do everything it can to quash a person who unknowingly possesses tremendous potential in this area.

However, once you get over that hurdle, you might discover a thriving new you able to utilize tremendous potential you never knew you had.

That's just one example.

Also, Chana means "challah, niddah, hadlakat neirot" (essential mitzvot for women) and its root is "chen" -- often translated as "grace" or "charm" or a kind of beauty (not necessarily physical beauty). So take that into account too.

A lot of women with rose-flower names (Shoshana, Raizel, Vered, etc) seem to have strong nurturing tendencies. 

I'm not sure why. Perhaps it has to do with how flowers themselves need to be nurtured to grow properly. Also, flowers display obvious stages of growth, they blossom, they provide pollen, nutrients, visual beauty, and scents which benefit others.

So rose-named people seem to want to help others blossom and flourish by providing others with a variety of nurturing (symbolized by the rose's attributes: pollen, nutrients, beautifying their environment, and giving off a good beneficial scent).

This nurturing doesn't always manifest as stereotypical nurturing - i.e., gentle, cuddly nurture. Some of these "roses" possess strong, outgoing personalities. 

Regardless, many of these "roses" find themselves in roles where they're helping others be the best they can be. A lot of "roses" seem to be into healing, especially via natural methods like herbs, healthy diet, and so on. 

But again, this nurturing others to be their best can sometimes be expressed in a way that dominating or aggressive -- like they've decided what's best for the other person (even if that's actually not what is best) and now they're going to bully that person into fulfilling that "potential."

Our challenge is always to use our innate character traits in the healthiest way possible.

As another example, one such rose-named woman I know clearly possesses so much compassion for others and a real desire to heal others and nurture them -- but she's consumed with bitterness. It's like a klippah over the real, wonderful her underneath. So she's in constant conflict because of that. But she's got amazing potential and I really hope she'll break through one day to fulfill her very real and helpful qualities.

So again, it's not that your personality is going to be a certain way. Some "roses" are extroverted and very hands-on while others are more introverted and reticent. Some act out their nurturing in a very positive way while others do so in a negative way.

To my mind, it's more about possessing certain qualities or a certain essence. And your personality and psychological/spiritual health determine how those qualities find expression.

Many Nechamas seem to provide others with a comforting, solid presence. Some Nechamas are solid, organized busy people who can help others sort out their minds and lives. Others are more of the soothing, reassuring type. 

They can be good at giving chizuk, support, encouragement, down-to-earth advice, or just be a nice rock to lean on.

Regardless, many Nechamas are indeed comforting however they express it according to their individual personality.

A friend of mine once pointed out that many Yehudahs emanate a kind of "specialness" -- while at the same time, tend to be very difficult to raise. (Yes, one of her sons is named Yehudah.)

Looking around, I realized she was right.

​I think you also find a lot of Yehudahs in some kind of leadership position. Or maybe that's just because it's such a common name.

This all makes sense because Yehudah is a progenitor of Mashiach. Yehudah is royalty. His name also contains Hashem's Name, plus the meaning "gratitude" and "confession."

​Pretty powerful stuff.

Yehudit is an interesting one.

It's the feminine form of the name "Yehudah" -- with all that implies.

Furthermore, the most famous Yehudit was a wealthy, intelligent, committed woman who tricked a wicked general and cut off his head, saving the Jewish people.

I've noticed that many Yehudits are extremely competent people. They've got their act together and tend to be good at running things, including their home. They've got high standards for themselves (which sometimes translates into high standards for others). They tend not to put themselves in the limelight, but instead focus on their own ideals and living up to those ideals.

They're often incredibly faithful, dedicated people, particularly to their family members.

​Just like our most famous Yehudit.

NOTE: I've come across several women from secular families whose parents named them YEHUDAH as their Hebrew name (or as part of their Hebrew name), and usually named after a grandfather or great-uncle.

It's so bizarre, the only thing I can think of is that the stereotypically feminine ending ("AH") is what throws them off. I guess they imagine it's a feminine name, although it's always only ever used as a boy's name, so I still don't understand why they give that name to their daughters without even feminizing it to "Yehudit."

Sure, some male names are feminized, like I've known a couple of Yaakovas and I've heard of a Yitzchaka and an Avrahama here and there. I've even heard of a Shmuella!

So people sometimes feminize male names, but I haven't seen this Yehudah-for-a-girl phenomenon with any other boy names, like a girl named Mordechai or Yechezkel, so I'm assuming it's the "AH" that's making the difference.

Furthermore, I grew up traditional-assimilated and even with my limited exposure to authentic Judaism, I would've thought that naming a girl "Yehudah" would've been a very weird thing.

And no, these are not generally such extremely assimilated Jews that they have no clue that Yehudah is only ever a boy's name. Maybe some of them are, but the ones I've known aren't.

So I really don't understand this, but it certainly exists (unfortunately).

Giving gender-specific names to the opposite gender is actually very harmful.

To contrast: "Yonah" can be a perfectly legitimate girl's name if you're naming her after a dove. Or it can be a perfectly legitimate boy's name if you're naming him after Yonah Hanavi in Tanach.

But most Hebrew names are specifically for one gender or the other.

So the female Yehudahs I've known have been very likable, but there's definitely some kind of block against their full feminine qualities shining through in a positive way. With one such female Yehudah, she always told me since high school that she wanted a hysterectomy because she was so certain she never wanted to have children.

I remember finding this odd because she liked children so much and was known as a good babysitter.

Fortunately, she later became frum and went to a rav to change her name to Yehudit.

After that, she felt more open toward having children and did indeed marry and become a mother. She later explained she felt that carrying a purely male name caused such a strong resistance to birthing children because that is a definite feminine tafkid and not at all a male one, and so the male aspect overwhelmed the female in her psyche.

​But you can really mess up your kids by giving them a name that's clearly wrong for their gender.

Many females named Gitty, Tovah, and any variation thereof do seem to possess extra goodness. Some are indeed warm and outgoing, embracing others. Others are much more reserved. 

Regardless, I've noticed that many Gittys and Tovahs possess an extra measure of compassion or just plain goodness. They want to be good to others and have others enjoy a good life.

Sometimes, this goodness is very much under the radar. Some Gittys and Tovahs can even come off as somewhat cold at first glance. And it can take you by surprise when their sincere goodness underneath is suddenly & unexpectedly expressed.​

Many people named Batya are just plain lovely. Whether their outgoing or quiet, they're really pleasant to be around. Empathy, I think is their key to their loveliness. They tend to be more empathetic than average.

(Although again, sometimes that empathy doesn't manifest clearly and needs to be drawn out.)

Batya literally means "daughter of God" and was also the name of the very empathetic daughter of Pharoah who saved Moshe Rabbeinu's life.

So there you go.

Well, that's all I can think of for now.

To sum up:
  • ​Your name points to a special essence within you.
 
  • This essence can be expressed positively or negatively.
 
  • If you're named after someone in Tanach, it's good to explore that person's personality based on how they're described in Tanach and what the mefarshim say about them.
 
  • Your name's basic meaning is important to explore & understand too.
So with the name Yitzchak, for example, you'll want to explore what he did (like how he was famous for speaking to Hashem in the fields and established the afternoon prayer Mincha), what he represents (gevurah), and what his name actually means ("he shall laugh") and see what you can do with that information.
​
  • Non-person names (like "nature" names, etc.) also hold special meaning in Judaism. For example, "Aryeh" or "Leib" is a lion and Judaism has quite a lot to say about its symbolism. Ditto with any deer names (Ayal, Ayalet, Tzvi, Ayalah, Hindy, Hirsch). "Tal" (dew) also contains tremendous symbolism.
 
  • Even with names that aren't rife with symbolism or aren't represented by actual Tanach personalities (i.e. Chaim/Life or Bracha/Blessing), you can still delve into their basic powerful meaning and see what you can get out of it.
 
  • Most people feel an affinity with whatever Tanach person shares their name. That's really good and can be a great source of steady inspiration.
 
  • If you have an doubts or quandaries about your name (or the name of your parents or children), make sure you go to a reputable rabbi who has expertise in this area to sort things out.
If you're at a seminary or yeshivah for baalei teshuvah, they for sure know the right rabbi for this issue because it's so common for non-frum Jews to have name issues (like a girl name Yehudah or not having a Jewish name at all or an unfamiliar name or diminutive -- generally named after an Yiddish ancestor -- like "Pessie" or "Mattel"). I think you can also call up a BT institution and just explain that you'd like the name of a rav who deals with names. Hopefully, your local Orthodox rabbi would also know of someone or be able to deal with it himself.
​
  • ​If you feel very distant or resistant to your name's meaning or what the original person with that name represents, it could be a sign that you actually have tremendous potential in this exact area, but are being quashed by the Dark Side.
​
  • If your essence seems like it's being quashed, don't despair. Use iron force of will and plead with Hashem to help you overcome it. Hopefully, you'll experience a welcome and eye-opening breakthrough. Remember, it's definitely there within you -- it just needs to be accessed.
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What's your real essence? And what can you do with it?
12 Comments
DS link
19/10/2018 05:17:32

Very interesting! My name is Blumah and I struggled for a long time with it, until I found some connections that spoke to me... like Blimele, the yiddish form of Blumah, i,e, Blimah, as in "Toleh Eretz Al Blimah, in the Yom KIppur Tefillah... or like the lotus flower: I can relate to this: silence, meditation, Teshuvah; I also have a great love of nature and growing things. I can also relate to each letter in my name., Beth, Lamed, Vav or Yud, Mem, Heh, they each speak to me in a special way. But I hated my name for a long time, wished I had received a biblical name instead.; it wasn't to be!.

Reply
Myrtle Rising
19/10/2018 08:09:35

Hi, DS,

I'm really glad you've come to terms with your name. Connecting to one's name via the actual letters hadn't occurred to me, but it sounds like a great idea & I'm glad you've posted it.

Thanks so much for your comment.

Reply
DS link
22/10/2018 06:00:29

In connection with that, I want to tell you, Myrtle Rising, something else I just discovered. I am having a sudden health issue and I couldn't fall asleep from tension. I decided to pick up a Sefer Tehillim, and as fate would have it ( read Siyata Dishmaya!), I picked up the Tehillim of the Chida, which I normally don't pick up. Intrigued by his arrangement of the Pesukim I read the foreword of the book, and there it says that whoever finds himself under a Din or Metzukah should say all the Pesukim starting with each letter of his or her name, one after another and also the letters of his or her father / or his or her mother. That is a tall order as there are so many Pesukim for each letter! I started, first with the Bet - and noticed that each letter, the Aleph, the Beth, is spelled in it fullness, i.e. Beth is Beth, Yud, Tav. As I was looking at each of these secondary letters I noticed that each one of them is a letter I can really relate to ( if you have questions about the letters of the Aleph Beth, Rav Ginsburg has a wonderful book where he expounds on every letter). So the system of the letters is really a very powerful one, and if you spell your name like this and say Pesukim related to your own name you will see how they speak to you and make a deep impression. According to the Chida this is a very powerful segulah for everything,

Just saying.... I am really glad I discovered this. Your article was important and an eye opener..... one thing leading to another, I hope this is too. Hashem is our ultimate Teacher, isn't He!

Myrtle Rising
22/10/2018 12:31:35

First of all, DS, may Hashem grant you a speedy refuah shlaimah along with all those suffering in Am Yisrael.

Secondly...thanks so much for all the information in your comment!

I also had an interesting experience saying Tehillim 119 by the letters of his name for my son according to the formula "Ploni ben Plonit" (like you said).

He'd suffered respiratory issues since he was born -- maybe because they needed to suction meconium out of his lungs right at birth after a C-section? Not sure.

Anyway, we had phases when his coughing was very phlegmy and chronic and NOTHING helped.

Even expensive high-quality remedies with echinacea and other good stuff, even acupressure, cough syrup, vitamins, essential oils, leaving a vaporizer in his room all night, me doing teshuvah for what Chazal says are lung-related issues -- nothing. (This went on for around 3 years.)

Finally, I said all the verses that spell out his name and mine (Ploni ben Plonit) in chapter 119 once a day for 2 or 3 days and viola!

It was gone.

I think it started to come back once more, so I opened the Tehillim and read his verses again, but I could be getting him mixed up with doing it for another child.

Bli ayin hara, these things often don't work as fast as that, but when they do, it's something to be grateful for.

Yishtabach Shemo!

I really, really wish for Hashem to grant you a complete & immediate refuah, DS.

Thanks again.

Nechama Sarah
21/10/2018 09:20:57

According to what you wrote above, I can see the meaning of my name reflected in my personality. A female named Yehuda should really be named Yehudit (Yehudis) otherwise there might occur a dichotomy or conflict in her personality. Being born female requires a female name, whether or not one has a male or female neshoma. One is the physical and the other is the mind. So I have learned.

Reply
Myrtle Rising
21/10/2018 19:39:55

Interesting. Thanks for your comment, Nechama Sarah.

Reply
DS link
22/10/2018 17:00:39

Thank you for your good wishes, Myrtle Rising, and Amen. I do need these Brachot and they are greatly appreciated.

Interesting that you should have had this experience. So whenever Hakadosh Baruch Hu so decides, the Chida's Shittah works, it seems - BTW, whose Shittah is Psalm 119 only -?

May you and your family also have very good health only.

Kol Tuv.

DS

Reply
Myrtle Rising
22/10/2018 18:47:28

I'm not sure who first identified the segulah for 119. I've heard about it for years now and participated in Tehillim groups that did so for ill people in the community.

It's apparently a long-standing tradition. Maybe it's source is even David Hamelech himself, but that's just a guess.

Still wishing you a complete and speedy refuah!

(P.S. If you feel like sending me your name privately, I'll be happy to daven for you too.)

Reply
DS link
24/10/2018 14:12:38

Thank you again, Myrtle Rising . I appreciate your heartfelt Brachah. May you have good health too.

DS

Reply
Myrtle Rising
24/10/2018 17:54:22

Amen.

Reply
Tzipporah
8/7/2019 21:01:55

I wonder about the names of converts. I chose my Hebrew name as an adult, and took a name whose original holder seemed to have many of the qualities I felt I lacked. Tzipporah, the decisive woman of action, who will chide a great man for neglecting his spiritual and fatherly duties, seemed the perfect namesake for me, the passive people-pleaser.

I don't feel like I live up to that name, and while I'm fiercer as a mother than I ever was for myself, I wonder if I didn't set myself up t fail.

Reply
Myrtle Rising
9/7/2019 10:31:45

Hi Tzipporah,

I've always thought "Tzipporah" a very pretty name.

You're right that Tzipporah of the Tanach was a decisive woman of action.

Along these lines, just like a bird's blood spiritually cleanses a home stricken by tzaraat, so Tzipporah cleansed her father's home of idols (Beresheit Rabbah). (Maybe you knew that already, but for anyone else reading it.)

She was also very nurturing toward Moshe Rabbeinu, always looking out for his best interests, whether it was bringing him food to keep him alive in his underground prison, or circumcising their son to save Moshe Rabbeinu's life. Very perceptive too!

As the following article states:
"The leader and redeemer of the Jewish people was twice saved by this holy woman!"
https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/4240317/jewish/The-Untold-Story-of-Zipporah-Wife-of-Moses.htm

She was very dedicated to both the Jewish people and her children, which sounds like you are too, Tzipporah.

So no, I don't think you set yourself up to fail.

P.S. If you're fiercer as a mother than you ever were for yourself, then that's excellent. I admire you.

Thanks for your comment.

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