When something undesirable happens, Judaism (as explained in Orchot Tzaddikim/Ways of the Righteous) understands this as a nudge to scrutinize your deeds and see what kind of teshuvah you need to undertake.
But sometimes, another person’s behavior seems so unpleasant and “obviously” wrong that it’s hard to see how their behavior might reflect something that needs cleaning (however small) in you.
Yet several times, it happened that someone treated me in a way I found hurtful, spurring me to mentally categorize that person as "insensitive" (as if that's how they are as a whole, rather than seeing them as possibly insensitive in that particular circumstance, but perhaps sensitive and understanding in other situations). However, sometime after that, I found myself in the same situation—but on the opposite side. Meaning, I was now in the hurtful person’s place and about to respond the same way he or she did—a way I originally saw as “obviously” wrong or insensitive.
The only thing that stopped me from being the bad guy was my previous experience of being the injured party.
Each time this happens, it’s quite humbling to realize how many times the only difference between a sensitive response and an insensitive response is luck. Luckily, I was able to experience what it’s like to be on the receiving end of specific treatment and to know how much that can hurt. At the very least, I understood what not to do in certain situations.
Of course, I’m speaking of the times Hashem intervened before I found myself on the wrong side of things and showed me how much a certain response hurts. Regrettably, there have been many times when I behaved wrongly, while thinking I was okay (or not thinking at all...).
Anyway, there is the concept in Judaism of God providing the remedy before He drops the blow. This happens on a national level, but it happens on a personal level, too (if you’re lucky).
Because of this, I’ve often found myself davening:
“Hashem—please!—save me from myself!”
May this Pesach see us completely redeemed from anything and everything connected with the Sitra Achra (the Dark Side).
But sometimes, another person’s behavior seems so unpleasant and “obviously” wrong that it’s hard to see how their behavior might reflect something that needs cleaning (however small) in you.
Yet several times, it happened that someone treated me in a way I found hurtful, spurring me to mentally categorize that person as "insensitive" (as if that's how they are as a whole, rather than seeing them as possibly insensitive in that particular circumstance, but perhaps sensitive and understanding in other situations). However, sometime after that, I found myself in the same situation—but on the opposite side. Meaning, I was now in the hurtful person’s place and about to respond the same way he or she did—a way I originally saw as “obviously” wrong or insensitive.
The only thing that stopped me from being the bad guy was my previous experience of being the injured party.
Each time this happens, it’s quite humbling to realize how many times the only difference between a sensitive response and an insensitive response is luck. Luckily, I was able to experience what it’s like to be on the receiving end of specific treatment and to know how much that can hurt. At the very least, I understood what not to do in certain situations.
Of course, I’m speaking of the times Hashem intervened before I found myself on the wrong side of things and showed me how much a certain response hurts. Regrettably, there have been many times when I behaved wrongly, while thinking I was okay (or not thinking at all...).
Anyway, there is the concept in Judaism of God providing the remedy before He drops the blow. This happens on a national level, but it happens on a personal level, too (if you’re lucky).
Because of this, I’ve often found myself davening:
“Hashem—please!—save me from myself!”
May this Pesach see us completely redeemed from anything and everything connected with the Sitra Achra (the Dark Side).
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