Psychopaths generally mean to do what they do.
But most other people don't.
For example, a narcissist doesn't think, "Oh-ho, I will now engage in my beloved activity of triangulation!"
No, they simply feel victimized in some way, and naturally turn to others in a way that plays one person against the other.
They seek to feel supported & protected.
The fact that an innocent person gets badly hurt along the way doesn't register with them.
After all, the narcissist considers himself the victim and, in the narcissist mind, the person getting hurt either deserves it (if the narcissist feels victimized by that person) or is simply an unavoidable casualty (which again, is not the narcissist's fault in the narcissistic mind because he views it as an unavoidable casualty—and "Hey, what did you expect, that I would sacrifice myself to avoid harming such an insignificant person? Anyway, if you really cared about me, you wouldn't mind sacrificing in yourself for me.").
I used the example of a narcissist, but it applies to any personality disorder.
Same thing when a personality-disordered person slanders another.
Again, they felt victimized in some way.
They believe they are simply protecting themselves, perhaps even protecting others by warning them, or they justify their slander as emanating from irrepressible pain that must find a release.
If they genuinely mean to take you down via slander, it still emanates from the perception of themselves as victim and you as persecutor. So once again, they believe you deserve it; they see it as the best & most effective way to defend themselves.
They believe their slander to be true...or close enough to the truth to be true ("That's how I feel"), or they believe the lies & exaggerations popping out of their mouth because those justifications sound & feel so good...so they must be true, right?
Or, even if they know they twisted the truth, they feel it advances an important agenda, so the ends justifies the means...and that's also a kind of "truth" (to the disordered mind).
Those are just a couple of examples.
And the above is why a PD (personality disorder) can be so shocked, hurt, outraged, and vengeful when confronted with the truth of their motivations, beliefs, and actions—and also how badly they've hurt others, plus the destruction that results from their behaviors.
Most experts addressing personality disorders speak as if the PD knows and plots every step of their behavior.
(I speak/write like this too sometimes. It's a short-cut to describe the behaviors. But really, I think it's a bit misleading, so I'm trying to be more careful. On the other hand, some people really do believe PDs are wholly aware of every step they take. But that's not true.)
For example, they say:
"This narcissist can't handle being wrong, so she engages in twisty arguments to manipulate the discussion."
But the narcissist probably thinks she's right!
And she doesn't consider her arguments twisty nor does she consider her methods manipulative; she thinks she's being clever and self-protective. She believes what she's saying and genuinely thinks YOU are being mean.
Having said that, sometimes they do knowingly engage in hurtful argumentative tactics. And again, they do that because they think YOU deserve it.
They consider you pathetic, bad, or stupid and feel justified in playing mind games during a discussion.
They consider themselves cute, clever, or funny.
So if you get angry or hurt, they consider you oversensitive. (Or manipulative.)
Because you were the whole problem in the first place! Why are you bothering them by being pathetic, bad or stupid?
YOU are pathetic, bad, or stupid. THEY are cute, clever, funny...and the real victim here.
So why are YOU getting upset?
You have no right!
That's how they honestly see things.
And as long as you don't realize how sincere they are in their disordered thinking, it's hard to deal with them and also to identify them. You can also be used by them to hurt others when they rope you into "helping" them in their pain (which feels very real to them).
So to sum up:
- The knowingly evil Voldemorts tend to be psychopaths.
- The other dysfunctional people tend to be sincere in their disordered, dysfunctional, unhealthy way of thinking.
And the same is also true for the Erev Rav.
Erev Rav Sincerity
They simply wanted the best of both worlds.
And THAT leads to destruction because, at their intrinsic root, the holy world and the profane world remain at odds with each other.
(The group with the conscious intent to destroy Am Yisrael both physically and at its soul-root is Amalek. And yes, Amalekite Erev Rav exist.)
To oversimplify, the Erev Rav followed Am Yisrael out of Egypt because they viewed Hashem as the biggest bully on the block, and they felt more secure aligning themselves with the most powerful entity.
Yet they were always looking back to see whether maybe the Egyptians would be the winners.
And despite all the palpable pure spirituality around, they constantly longed for their impure spirituality and materialism.
All the damage they committed (like the Golden Calf) resulted from a desire to protect their own interests.
They genuinely felt fear or anxiety or distress. Their motivation wasn't manipulation; that's how they honestly felt.
In other words, they believed in what they were doing.
And real Jews got swept up with them...because of the Erev Rav sincerity.
And it happens nowadays too.
Here's Rav Itamar Schwartz (page 40):
In fact, those people [who are pushing for the draft] might not even be aware that the ‘Sitra Achara’ is controlling them, and they might even be earnest in their intentions.
Some of them actually are earnest, and they aren’t trying to be wicked.
They simply don’t understand what they are doing to us.
But this is only concerning a certain amount of them.
The rest of them simply have wicked intentions.
And even those in the government who have earnest intentions to help us are accomplishing the same purpose as the totally wicked members, in spite of the fact that they don’t realize what they are doing: they are coming to uproot all of the Torah!!
Because they honestly view it as holding themselves and others back.
But WHY do they feel that way?
The Torah contains such amazing inspiration, guidance, and is the only way for a human being to achieve truly great heights of holiness & morality.
Why is the Erev Rav view SO distorted?
Erev Rav Lack the Ability to Understand. Understand This Well!
They do not understand, and they can never understand, what Torah is.
They cannot understand what mitzvos are.
They cannot understand the nature of the true bond that is between the Jewish people and Hashem.
To regular Jews, the rabbanim DID explain their positions.
But when dealing with the secular Leftist anti-Torah Communist Erev Rav leaders, the rabbanim went just BAM! Full-speed opposition ahead.
Even nowadays, you can see there's no talking to them or explaining to them why this-and-such is important.
They CANNOT understand. It's simply impossible.
And that's sincere on their part!
They have NO ability to comprehend or relate to:
- the essence of Torah
- the essence of mitzvot
- the bond between Hashem and Am Yisrael
The potential simply is NOT there.
Here's an analogy:
Try and describe countries and their political systems to a toddler.
He can't see it!
What's a country? What's a political party? What's a budget? What's debt?
Yet would you allow the one-year-old to make policies?
If the toddler is screaming for his toy and his lollipop, would you say, "If you stop screaming, I'll let you decide the boundary of France! And you can also decide the fiscal policy for the coming year! Wouldn't you like that, shaifeleh?"
Or would you just ignore the screaming toddler (maybe just stick a lollipop in his mouth) and continue running the country to the best of your ability?
The Erev Rav Leaders of Today
The Vilna Gaon writes that in the final generations, the Erev Rav are the “heads of the Jewish people, who are the ‘leaders’, and they have control over the “sons of Leah and Rachel.”
They are also called ‘sapachas’ by Chazal – a kind of leprosy that forms over the skin, embedded into the skin and atop it, but not a part of it.
They came with us when we left Egypt and added themselves onto our nation, but they are not a part of our nation; thus they are called a sapachas\leprosy - a layer added onto the skin, which is not an actual part of the skin.
In the later generations, and especially in our current generation, the Erev Rav are wicked souls who lead the Jewish people towards evil.
Their agenda is to lead the Jewish people astray from Torah, from all holiness, from emunah, and from mitzvos.
It doesn’t matter if he [a member of Erev Rav] wears a kippah or if he doesn’t have a kippah; whether he has a beard or whether he doesn’t have a beard.
This is the exile we are in.
The exile we are currently in is the exile of the Erev Rav - who exercise ‘control’ over the Jewish people.
The ‘heads of the Erev Rav’ are the souls of Amalek; Chazal say that the Erev Rav is made up of five kinds of people, and at the head of all of them is Amalek.
This has been true about our current exile ever since it has begun, but it has particular relevance to today’s times.
We must understand the situation that we are found in.
The exile we are in today is being headed by people who look like Jews - and they look like they are a part of the Jewish people.
But the other types of Erev Rav (Nefilim, Gibburim, Refaim, Anakim) cause extreme damage because they can NEVER relate to Torah or the relationship between Hashem & His People.
It doesn't mean anything to them; they cannot wrap their head around it.
They have their own agendas & it genuinely bothers them when the Torah interferes.
So what do WE do?
Focus on 2 Aspects
- Sur m'ra—Turn from evil
- Aseh tov—Do good.
Learing halacha and mussar help so much with turning from evil and doing good.
How else can you know what is good or bad unless you learn it?
Learning the halachot of how to treat people (giving the benefit of the doubt, acting with compassion, guarding one's tongue, etc.) provide you with the tools to avoid acting like a dysfunctional person.
Learning halacha and mussar also helps you to differentiate between the truly dysfunctional people and others who are basically good but flawed and struggling, so you know who to avoid and who to embrace.
Also, there is no need to water down Torah truths.
Darchei noam—ways of pleasantness?
Yes! By all means!
Be pleasant! Try to avoid fights with others! Focus on the Torah's beauty!
But please also realize that if you're dealing with an Erev Rav, he or she CANNOT see the beauty no matter how much you point it out or water it down.
So there's no point.
They're utterly sincere in their attitudes, beliefs, and agendas.
And that sincerity often knocks real Jews off balance.
That's why it's important to know their sincerity makes them neither redeemable nor changeable...and not convincible either.
Just YOU be strong within yourself.
Part of doing good is davening.
Davening for Erev Rav to do teshuvah (from the Komarna Rebbe) elevates the sparks, getting rid of the Erev Rav.
Davening protects you & others. Davening also enhances the growth of you & others.
Connect to Hashem in a deep & meaningful way for even only 1 minute a day...
May Hashem please bring the Geula swiftly with rachamim.
- www.myrtlerising.com/blog/the-kli-yakar-parshat-masei: Why the Erev Rav CAN'T Change Themselves