"Instead of stinging nettle, myrtle will rise" (Isaiah 55:13)
 "Instead of evil, good will rise." (The Malbim's Interpretation)
Myrtle Rising
  • Blog
  • Comments Disabled
    • Privacy Policy
  • Aliyah
    • Mini-Intro
    • General Cultural Insights
    • School Tips
  • Kli Yakar Index
  • Most Popular
  • Contact

You Don't Need to be a Tzaddik to Get Your Prayers Answered

9/4/2018

 
It's really important to know that despite however flawed or messed-up you are, your prayers are still cherished by Hashem and can even be answered positively and relatively quickly.

God wants your heart.

Yes, it's true that many things need to be prayed for a long time and demand lots of inner work before you reap fruits.

And it's also true that some things simply aren't meant for you, for whatever the reason, and you never see the fruits of those prayers in this lifetime.

But some things (even MANY things) are given to you just for the asking...if you simply make the request.

For example...

True Story #1

Once, I simply couldn't settle down (both physically and mentally).

I couldn't figure out what to do with myself and my life, what Hashem wanted me to do with myself and with my life. I sat down to do stuff, but couldn't settle.

So then I paced over to another room to do something else, but couldn't engage in that either. This sitting-pacing-puttering kept up until I realized I needed to turn to Hashem for guidance.

I stopped in the hallway, raised my hands, and said, "Hashem, please tell me what to do with my life!"

Immediately, I heard a siren — and not a test-siren either, but a real one.

​"Ah-ha!" I said. "You want me to sit in my safe room and talk to You." (Because finding a bomb shelter and praying are all you can and should do in the face of an oncoming missile.)

Additionally, my area had hardly been under attack at that point and we didn't have sirens blaring every week, so a real siren at that exact moment was a definite sign.

So that was a pretty clear — and fast! — answer to my request.

And since then, I've obeyed that answer a lot.

True Story #2

When the first of my friend's female triplets got engaged, I was very excited.

Extremely fond of this trio, I happily attended the engagement party.

Yet when I discovered who the boy was, my heart sank.

While I did not know the boy personally, I'd met his parents a couple of times and found them (especially the father) to be particularly coarse, crass, immature individuals.

It was 18 years ago, but due to their unusually appalling crassness, the meetings stuck in my memory.

Furthermore, 3 of their first four children displayed particularly problematic middot, especially the 12-year-old boy who tantrumed and whined wordlessly until he was fitted with a napkin around his neck and then spoon-fed his meal by his mother. 

(That tantruming & spoon-feeding happened at a public gathering, BTW.)

As shocking as his uninhibited infantility was, I was even more shocked that his mother indulged him so theatrically and willingly, and that his father looked upon him affectionately while murmuring justification of his son's bizarre behavior.

It was somewhat reassuring to see that the 14-year-old brother was looking on the whole scene with horror. What a relief to see that despite the bizarre and dysfunctional family dynamics, at least one child knew that his parents' and brother's behavior was seriously out of whack.

Yet when the 8-year-old sister started whining for some of the same pampering ("I want the soft part of the bread!"), the father snarled, "Oh, knock it off! You're just copying him for the attention!" (Yet without missing a beat, the mother passed the girl the white part from her own bread when the father turned his head for a moment.)

There's more yuck to relate, but let's just say that wasn't even the worst or most shocking thing the father said that night.

(Upon encountering this family another time a couple of months later, they still displayed awful and strange behavior, indicating the above wasn't a one-time thing.)

Anyway, I didn't know what to do.

On one hand, you can't judge a boy by his parents (as the oldest brother clearly proved).

Nor should you judge a person by a couple of incidents that occurred 18 years ago.

After all, people change over time.

On the other hand, it's very unlikely for such people to change even over the course of 18 years.

And it's also unlikely the son of such people would turn out decently.

Unlikely...but not impossible.

(Not to mention, such people likely treat their daughters-in-law like garbage.)

This situation (particularly after the official engagement) wasn't covered clearly in any of my lashon hara books.

I seriously considered calling a rav to ask whether I'm halachically allowed to say anything, but as I tried to mentally rehearse the shailah, it seemed unlikely. 

After all, the incidents occurred 18 years ago and did not directly involve the boy (who was only around 2 at the time).

Generally, that's not enough to try to break a shidduch AFTER the official engagement.

I also couldn't speak with my husband because he knew this family, making it non-to'elet lashon hara. (Not to mention, my husband didn't share the same opinion of them due to the man having helped my husband get a good job at one point & the family's royal treatment of my husband when he ate by them as a yeshivah bachur, all for which my husband felt very grateful and appreciative.)

So I turned to Hashem and told him about how conflicted I felt and how much I wanted this girl to marry a very good guy, and that if this guy wasn't the right one, then Hashem should bring her "good and true zivug b'shaah tovah u'mutzlachat." (I got this nusach from Dayan Fischer when I accompanied a friend to get a psak.)

Another gem I'd heard about was to daven that the potential mate be healthy in body and soul and come from an emotionally healthy family.

So I asked for that too.

Interestingly, the mother of the girl approached me 2 weeks later to quietly inform me that the shidduch had been called off.

She'd noticed some issues in the boy and his family, plus her daughter also developed reservations after spending time with his family, all bringing them to the conclusion that the the shidduch "wasn't so compatible."

​And after consulting with a rabbinical authority and getting a bracha from another rav, they all cancelled the engagement.

I was thrilled, of course.

A couple of months later, this same triplet girl got engaged to a good guy.

​Ironically, his mother isn't physically healthy (she's in a wheelchair), but I kept hearing about how nice the family is, and how all the brothers so willingly carry their mother in her wheelchair up and down stairs without complaint and without trying to duck out of the responsibility.

So that's Hashem taking the prayer literally. I davened only for her zivug to have an emotionally healthy family because I thought that's most important as far as in-laws go.

And that's what she got!

But it wasn't just me, of course.

The triplets are each other's best friends and were of course discussing things amongst each other and davening for their engaged sister, and davening with much more heart as only a womb-sharing sister can.

​The same can be said for the parents and other siblings, who were of course davening and investigating with deep care and concern.

At the same time, I don't think my prayers on behalf of the betrothed triplet were nothing. I definitely feel that Hashem listened to me too.

That's not gaava; that's just spiritual physics.

The point is that all of us (the girl's parents, me, etc.) were regular flawed people, yet Hashem listened to our prayers and answered in our favor in a timely manner.

You don't need to be a tzaddik to receive Divine favors. Many times, you just need to ask.

True Story #3

A friend of mine was writing down 100 gratitudes a day when one day, she just decided to list ten times as many.

She thought it would take her an hour. After all, how long does it take to write 1000 words? But it ended up taking her much longer and she kept it up throughout the day between her other responsibilities.

A few days later, her mother suddenly sent her $1000 after receiving a nice tax return that year and deciding to spread the surplus among her adult children.

At first my friend didn't make the connection.

After she'd completed her list of 1000 gratitudes, she felt worn out and anticlimactic, and then forgot about it.

Yet when she realized that she'd received a present of exactly $1000 (and her parents are not people of means) only a few days after she'd written up exactly 1000 gratitudes, she said, "If only I'd know God was paying 1 dollar per gratitude, I'd have listed a million!"

Now, no offense to this friend, but while she possesses some wonderful qualities, she also possesses some real flaws too. She struggles with some pretty bad middot (but at least she struggles against them, rather than denying them).

​Yet Hashem gave her this $1000 windfall anyway without her even specifically asking for it.

Fervently Flawed People Can Receive Divine Favor Too

My point is that you can be massively flawed and messed-up, yet you have a right to humbly ask Hashem for anything...ESPECIALLY on behalf of others.

Too many people today feel like "only truly great people can do that," but that kind of thinking is all wrong when it comes to connecting with Hashem.

Just pour out your heart and ask.

Then see what happens.

Sure, the answer could be no.

But what if it's yes?
Picture
←Previous post
​
A Prayer to Make Aliyah & Live in Eretz Yisrael
Next post→
​Why Believing in the Power of Your Own Prayers ISN'T Pretentious

Comments are closed.
    Privacy Policy

    Picture
    Please note this is an affiliate link. Meaning, I get a small cut but at NO extra cost to you. If you use it, I'm grateful. If not, you still get a giant mitzvah connected to Eretz Yisrael.


    Feedburner subscription no longer in operation. Sorry!

    Myrtle Rising

    I'm a middle-aged housewife and mother in Eretz Yisrael who likes to read and write a lot.


    Picture
    Sample Chapters

    Categories

    All
    Aliyah
    Anti Jewish Bigotry
    Anti-jewish-bigotry
    Astronomy
    Book Review
    Books
    Chagim/Holidays
    Chinuch
    Coronavirus
    Dictionaries
    Emuna
    Eretz Yisrael
    Erev Rav
    Gender
    Hitbodedut
    "If The Torah..."
    Jewish Astrology
    Kav Hayashar
    Kli Yakar
    Lashon Hara
    Love
    Me'am Loez
    Minchat Yehudah
    Mishlei/Proverbs
    Netivot Shalom
    Parenting
    Parsha
    Pele Yoetz
    Perek Shira
    Pesach
    Politics
    Prayer
    Purim
    Rav Avigdor Miller
    Rav Itamar Schwartz
    Rav L.Y. Bender
    Recipes
    "Regular" Jews
    Rosh Hashanah
    Society
    Sukkot
    Tammuz
    Technology
    Tehillim/Psalms
    Teshuvah
    The Lost Princess
    Tisha B'Av
    USA Scary Direction
    Women
    Yom Kippur

    Jewish Blogs

    Daf Yomi Review
    Derech Emet
    Going...Habayitah
    Halacha Q&A
    Hava haAharona
    Miriam Adahan
    My Perspective

    Shirat Devorah
    Tomer Devorah
    Toras Avigdor
    True Tzaddikim
    Tznius Blog

    Yeranen Yaakov
    Rabbi Ofer Erez (Hebrew lectures)

    Jewish Current Events

    Hamodia
    Sultan Knish
    Tomer Devorah
    Yeranen Yaakov

    Jewish Health

    People Smarts

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015

    RSS Feed

    Copyright Notice

    ©2015-2023 Myrtle Rising
    Excerpts and links may be used without express permission as long as a link is provided back to the appropriate Myrtle Rising page.

Home/Blog

Most Popular

Kli Yakar in English

Aliyah

Contact

Copyright © 2023
Photos used under Creative Commons from Brett Jordan, BAMCorp, Terrazzo, Abode of Chaos, Michele Dorsey Walfred, marklordphotography, M.Burak Erbaş, torbakhopper, jhritz, Rina Pitucci (Tilling 67), Svadilfari, kum111, Tim simpson1, FindYourSearch, Giorgio Galeotti, ChrisYunker, Jaykhuang, YourCastlesDecor, bluebirdsandteapots, Natalia Medd, Stefans02, Israel_photo_gallery, Commander, U.S. 7th Fleet, BradPerkins, zeevveez, dfarrell07, h.koppdelaney, Edgardo W. Olivera, nafrenkel88, zeevveez, mtchlra, Liz | populational, TraumaAndDissociation, thinboyfatter, garofalo.christina, skpy, Free Grunge Textures - www.freestock.ca, Nerru, Gregory "Slobirdr" Smith, trendingtopics, dolbinator1000, DonkeyHotey, zeevveez, erix!, zeevveez, h.koppdelaney, MAURO CATEB, kevin dooley, keepitsurreal, annikaleigh, bjornmeansbear, publicdomainphotography, Leonard J Matthews, Exile on Ontario St, Nicholas_T, marcoverch, planman, PhilWolff, j_lai, t.kunikuni, zeevveez, Ian W Scott, Brett Jordan, RonAlmog, Bob Linsdell, NASA Goddard Photo and Video, aaron_anderer, ** RCB **, Tony Webster, mypubliclands, AntonStetner, Zachi Evenor, MrJamesBaker, sammydavisdog, Frode Ramone, Wonder woman0731, wrachele, kennethkonica, Skall_Edit, Pleuntje, Rennett Stowe, *S A N D E E P*, symphony of love, AlexanderJonesi, Arya Ziai, ePublicist, Enokson, Tony Webster, Art4TheGlryOfGod, seaternity, Andrew Tarvin, zeevveez, Israel_photo_gallery, Iqbal Osman1, Matt From London, Tribes of the World, Eric Kilby, miracle design, RonAlmog, slgckgc, Kim Scarborough, DonkeyHotey, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, h.koppdelaney, gleonhard, Pedro Travassos, nociveglia, RonAlmog, Israel_photo_gallery, Septemia, Paulann_Egelhoff, Tatiana12, MAD Hippies Life, Neta Bartal, milesgehm, shooting brooklyn, RonAlmog, smilygrl, gospelportals, leighblackall, symensphotographie, zeevveez, Kyknoord, wotashot (taking a break), Tambako the Jaguar, bitmask, Arnie Sacknooson, mattymatt, Rob Swystun, zeevveez, Dun.can, Tim Patterson, timeflicks, garlandcannon, HRYMX, fred_v, Yair Aronshtam, zeevveez, Ron Cogswell, FindYourSearch, Israel_photo_gallery, Serendipity Diamonds, zeevveez, Steve Corey, Dominic's pics, leighklotz, Stefans02, dannyman, RonAlmog, Stephen O, RonAlmog, Tips For Travellers, Futurilla, anomalous4, Bob Linsdell, AndyMcLemore, symphony of love, andydr, sara~, Gamma Man, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, robef, European Southern Observatory, Brett Jordan, Johnny Silvercloud, Israel_photo_gallery, smkybear, --Sam--, Paulann_Egelhoff, Selena Sheridan, D'oh Boy, campbelj45ca, 19melissa68, entirelysubjective, Leimenide, dheera.net, Brett Jordan, HonestReporting.com, Iqbal Osman1, One Way Stock, Jake Waage, picto:graphic, Marcelo Alves, KAZVorpal, Sparkle Motion, Brett Jordan, Ambernectar 13, Howdy, I'm H. Michael Karshis, Steven DuBois, Cristian V., tortuga767, Jake Cvnningham, D'oh Boy, Eric Kilby, quinn.anya, Lenny K Photography, One Way Stock, Bird Eye, ell brown, Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com, Kevin M. Gill, lunar caustic, gerrybuckel, quinn.anya, Kaz Andrew, kodomut, kayugee, jintae kim's photography, Futurilla, terri_bateman, Patty Mooney, Amydeanne, Paulann_Egelhoff, Mulling it Over, Ungry Young Man, Ruth and Dave, yangouyang374, symphony of love, kennethkonica, young@art, Brett Jordan, slgckgc, Celestine Chua, rkimpeljr, Kristoffer Trolle, TooFarNorth, D'oh Boy, Grace to You, LittleStuff.me, Kevin M. Gill, philozopher, traveltipy.com, Alan Cleaver, crazyoctopus, d_vdm, tonynetone, penjelly, TheToch, JohnE777, hello-julie, DaveBleasdale, Michael Candelori Photography, andessurvivor, slgckgc, byzantiumbooks, sasha diamanti